THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS - Ep 6: They All Get Guns

0:00 [upbeat techno music plays]♪♪ -[Caine]:

0:10 Today's adventure is brought to you by the Favorite Character Awards!

0:15 Stay tuned and find out who will claim the ultimate prize!

0:20 [glitzy orchestral music plays] [inaudible chatter] -[Zooble]:

0:26 [BOINK!] Can you toss that back up here?

0:29 -[scoffs] Making good use of your parts gimmick, huh?

0:31 -[Zooble]: Oh, shut up.

0:33 -What are you doing up there?

0:34 -[Zooble]: I'm hiding from Caine.

0:36 I think I overheard him talking to Bubble about an in-house adventure,

0:40 and I'm not gonna be part of it.

0:42 -And...

0:43 you're just gonna hang out in a flower pot all day?

0:46 Not, like, your room?

0:48 -[Zooble]: Caine's been checking up on my room lately.

0:50 When I don't answer, he just starts singing "Daisy Bell" in front of my door.

0:55 It's creepy.

0:57 -Does he really do that?

0:58 -I dunno.

0:59 Let's ask him.

1:00 [hollers] Hey, Caine!

1:01 -[Zooble]: You [BOINK!] [BANG!]hole!

1:03 -Yes, Jax?

1:04 -Look, it's Zooble!

1:06 -[Zooble]: [BOINK!] you!

1:07 -Ah, there you are!

1:08 Now I don't have to do the snap-summon thing.

1:11 -[Zooble]: [grunts] -And I'm glad I found you.

1:13 We need even numbers, 'cause today's adventure is a...

1:16 [overlapping voices] TEAM adventure!

1:18 [normal voice] Meet you guys up at the stage in, uh— let's say 5.7 minutes.

1:24 -[Zooble]: Great.

1:27 You didn't even ask him about the singing thing.

1:30 -The what?

1:32 -Today's adventure is...

1:33 gonna be a bit of a short one, due to the Favorite Character Awards.

1:38 But it'll be a perfect opportunity

1:40 to showcase your guys' strengths to the press!

1:43 -This is so heavy.

1:45 -That's right, Bubble.

1:46 Seeing you all play batball a few days ago really got me thinking.

1:50 We should do our own sporting event!

1:52 But with cool new sports invented by yours truly.

1:55 -Help me, Caine.

1:56 -Uh, we could also just play softball normally this time.

2:00 -Eeegh...

2:01 -In the Caine Leagues,

2:03 we have the 400 Meter Vertical Skedaddle, Bisection Boogie Eggball,

2:08 Lateral Hijinks, Orange Sport, Ball Run, Walk Ball, Run Walk, and Ball Ball!

2:15 These sports are surely going to— -[Zooble]: Uh, yeah, sorry, no.

2:18 I'm not gonna be on a team with that one.

2:20 -[blows kiss] -Zooble, why does all you do is complaining?

2:24 I never know what you want!

2:25 -[Zooble]: We had a whole suggestion box for that.

2:28 -Yeah, Zooble and I constantly say we like more chill and relaxing adventures.

2:33 -Did you really not like my softball one?

2:35 -I'm not big into sports.

2:38 Sorry.

2:38 -The suggestion box just causes interpersonal drama.

2:41 And me no likey.

2:42 -[Zooble]: Alright.

2:43 You really wanna know what I want?

2:45 -Oh, no.

2:46 -[Zooble]: I want the ability to have***.

2:49 -No way.

2:50 Are we FINALLY having this conversation?

2:54 -[stammers] [babbling] [sinister music plays]♪♪ [ding!] Oh.

3:04 Hi, Zooble!

3:05 -[Zooble]: Do you have any of that stupid sauce left?

3:08 -What were we talking about?

3:09 Oh, yeah!

3:10 How teamwork is essential to making the dream work!

3:13 -[Zooble]: Tell that to him!

3:14 He's the one that [BOINKS!] everything all the time.

3:16 -You are in a mood today, aren't you?

3:18 -Now, now— you know what they say about assuming.

3:21 It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "ming." -[Zooble]: "Ming"?

3:26 -Did Caine just say [BOINK]?" -[Ming]: Hi, I'm Ming,

3:31 and I really don't appreciate what your assumptions have done to my reputation.

3:37 -[Zooble]: You made a whole guy for that?

3:39 -Whatever the case, it's evident now that there's

3:41 quite a bit of tension between you all.

3:43 So, maybe what we actually need to do are trust exercises!

3:47 -[Zooble]: I am not falling into Jax's arms, if that's what you mean.

3:50 -Don't worry— this will be a two-way trust exercise,

3:54 where you'll each have to trust each other to not betray the other person.

3:57 [snap!] [shwing!] This is a private room,

4:00 where nobody can see or hear you once inside.

4:04 And this...

4:05 [shwing!] ...is a loaded gun!

4:07 -Oh, boy.

4:07 -Character A will take the gun into the private

4:10 room and empty it out of all its ammunition,

4:12 then come out and give it to Character B.

4:15 Character B will then take the gun and shoot themselves in the head,

4:19 trusting that Character A emptied it in the private room.

4:22 Character A will also have to trust that Character B won't turn the gun on them,

4:27 so everyone is incentivized to follow the rules and trust each other!

4:32 -[Zooble]: Sounds a little convoluted.

4:34 -YOU LOOK CONVOLUTED!!!!

4:35 Anyway, Jax, why don't you start?

4:37 -[Zooble]: Wh— Him?!

4:38 -Wait, what am I doing?

4:39 I wasn't paying attention.

4:40 [rewound audio warbling] [clicks tongue] Oh.

4:49 -[yelps] -Or, yeah, we could all just shoot each other.

4:53 Here, have guns.

4:55 I don't care anymore.

4:56 -Hooway!

4:57 -[Zooble]: Wait, that's just it?

4:59 "Here's guns, and have fun"?

5:00 -I didn't say "have fun." -[Zooble]: It's just a little aimless.

5:04 -Use the sights.

5:05 -[Zooble]: Caine!

5:05 -[growls] FINE!

5:07 We're bringing teams back.

5:08 Pair up in teams of two.

5:10 You all get three lives.

5:11 Last team surviving is the winner.

5:13 Happy?

5:14 -[Zooble]: Um, not really.

5:16 -Well, that's not my problem right now.

5:18 I have an awards show to plan,

5:19 so you guys are gonna have to handle yourselves for a bit.

5:22 You get five minutes to figure the teams out.

5:24 Once that's up, it's a free-for-all.

5:30 -Come on, saddy.

5:31 You're coming with me.

5:32 -[gasps] I'm...

5:33 actually gonna be on a team with Zooble.

5:36 -[Jax]: What?

5:37 No, you're not.

5:37 We've been together for every team adventure in the past.

5:41 -[Zooble]: Guess times are changing, bunny boy.

5:43 -[grumbles] -Hey, you wanna be on my team?

5:49 -Uh, oh!

5:49 I-I'd love to, but— Well, uh, I really don't want Kinger to get stuck with Jax.

5:55 -Oh, yeah.

5:57 Well, I-I could be on Kinger's team.

6:00 He and I were together once, and it wasn't too bad.

6:03 -U-Uh...

6:04 Hmm.

6:06 And have...

6:07 me on...

6:09 -Oh.

6:09 Um.

6:10 Y-yeah.

6:10 Just forget I asked.

6:12 I'll be on Jax's team.

6:14 -W-Wait.

6:15 -Huh?

6:17 -[stammers] -Like you said, probably good to keep Kinger and Jax separate.

6:25 I can keep Jax in check, so don't worry about me.

6:30 -U-Uh, hey, Pomni?

6:34 I-If— If you ever need to talk to somebody...

6:37 o-or need help with anything, I'm here.

6:43 -[laughs weakly] [both yelp] You have a partner yet?

6:48 -Well, look who it is.

6:50 You sure you can handle me in all my glory?

6:54 -Eh, I've been through worse.

6:57 -Hey, Zooble?

6:59 Do you wanna hold onto this during today's game?

7:02 -[Zooble]: Huh?

7:03 -I...

7:04 don't really trust myself that much with it.

7:08 And I also just...

7:10 really want to be able to fire a tommy gun while laughing maniacally,

7:14 and I don't— I don't want to break it before I get that chance.

7:20 -[Zooble]: I'll keep it safe for you.

7:23 [dramatic music plays] [clock ticking] [ding!] -Huh?

7:33 W-Wait, what?

7:34 That counted?

7:35 -[Zooble]: Uh, Caine?

7:37 -What?

7:38 Oh, y-yeah, the guns have been teleported to random spots in the circus.

7:42 Go find 'em, champs.

7:45 -WE NEED TO FIND THE TOMMY GUN!!!

7:47 -Uh, wait, Caine?

7:48 I-I-I'm missing a life!

7:49 -[Kinger]: There's no time!

7:51 -[yelps] -It'll be my pleasure murdering all of you!

7:55 -Uh, have fun, guys!

7:57 -HAH!

7:57 You're so lame!

8:08 [dramatic musical sting plays] -[Kinger]: Uh-huh.

8:14 Ya little devil.

8:15 Alright.

8:16 Now, I would bet our biggest concerns would be Jax and Zooble.

8:19 They're the youngest, so they probably still have some youthful fighting spirit.

8:23 -[sighs] Man.

8:26 I'm still missing a heart.

8:27 This isn't fair.

8:29 -[Kinger]: Huh?

8:29 Oh, I've got just the thing!

8:32 Here, take this.

8:34 [bing!] [high tone chimes] -W-W-Wait, what did you just do?

8:38 What was that?

8:40 -[Kinger]: It's a butterfly!

8:41 It can restore your health.

8:43 -Did Caine mention that?

8:45 -[Kinger]: Oh, nah.

8:47 I made it up.

8:48 -Uh...

8:50 What?

8:54 [door creaks] -So, who you gonna kill first, Pompom?

9:00 -Uh, I-I don't know if I'll really be doing much of the killing.

9:05 I-I'll just find guns for you, and you can do all the violent stuff.

9:09 You like that, right?

9:11 -You know none of this is real, right?

9:14 -[stammers] What do you mean?

9:15 Like, the circus?

9:18 -The game today is literally to shoot each other,

9:20 so what's the point in taking this moral high ground?

9:24 -Well, they're my friends.

9:26 I don't really want to hurt them.

9:28 [bang!] -Alright, let me be real here.

9:32 Why do you care about that?

9:34 -Uh, about not hurting my friends?

9:37 -[sighs] Look, I know what it's like.

9:40 One day, you're somebody in the real world doing important things.

9:44 And then, the next, you're just a weird little cartoon...

9:48 jester.

9:50 You want to hold onto that part of you

9:51 that still thinks it's part of that world, but in the end, what does it get you?

9:56 Ragatha tries to be all nice and friendly,

9:58 but she gets torn up every other adventure.

10:01 Whether we like it or not, all we are now is a bunch of cartoon characters.

10:07 So what's the point of pretending we're not?

10:11 -We're still people though, right?

10:14 -I thought we were at first,

10:15 but as time goes on, we just end up falling into our archetypes.

10:19 Become part of the machine.

10:21 -What's your archetype, then?

10:23 The villain?

10:24 -[scoffs] Listen, I add a key dynamic.

10:27 I see how far I can push things,

10:29 I screw with people, and I break the fourth wall.

10:32 You wanna know why?

10:33 It's 'cause it's funny.

10:35 I do everything 'cause it's funny!

10:37 'Cause I'm the funny one.

10:39 -"The funny one"?

10:41 -Yeah!

10:41 Ragatha's the cheerful one, Gangle's the sad one, Kinger's the crazy one,

10:46 Zooble's the grumpy one, and you are the one who hasn't figured that out yet.

10:51 We all just became archetypes.

10:54 I at least have the self-awareness to choose who I am.

10:58 -The funny one.

10:59 -So, who do you want to be?

11:01 No better chance than now to try something new.

11:04 You wanna go nuts?

11:05 You wanna finally work off those weeks of rage

11:08 and anguish that have been buildin' up inside you?

11:11 I know you hate it here.

11:13 Everyone does.

11:14 But the silver lining is you can pretty much do whatever you want.

11:18 Like, look at the way you're aiming that gun.

11:20 Too realistic.

11:21 Just let loose!

11:26 -[inhales deeply] [sighs] [blam!] Huh?

11:33 Oh, what the heck.

11:35 Today, I'm just gonna be evil.

11:38 How's that?

11:39 -Heh, go for it!

11:41 -Yeah.

11:41 Yeah!

11:42 Those other fools better watch their tails,

11:45 because they're going to face the wrath of Pomni the Evil!

11:51 [laughing malevolently] -[scoffs] It's kinda cringe.

12:01 -Uh, are we really gonna be shooting each other with these?

12:05 -[Kinger]: It's either shoot or get sh— Ah!

12:07 -Guh!

12:10 -[Kinger]: Ragatha!

12:11 There's a sniper around this corner.

12:13 -[Zooble]: I think I got Kinger.

12:14 [shell clatters] -Uh, are you sure we're safe up here?

12:17 [gunfire] [screams] -[Zooble]: Whoa!

12:20 -[Kinger]: Tactical roll!

12:24 Come on, Ragatha!

12:26 -Mm!

12:27 [panting] [Kinger screaming] [gunfire] -Looks like

12:29 we've located the king and the ragdoll.

12:32 -Uh, yeah.

12:34 I mean, yeah!

12:35 Let's get 'em!

12:36 [punchy music plays] -Uh, I don't even really know how to fire a gun.

12:40 I don't know how much use I'd be in— [blam!] -Whoops!

12:44 Did I do that?

12:46 -You missed a spot!

12:47 -[yelps] -Hah!

12:48 You're so cool.

12:50 [gunfire continues] -[Kinger]: Ragatha, take cover!

12:52 -Huh?

12:53 [yelping] -I'll take Rags.

12:55 You go Kinger.

12:56 -Righty-o, evil bro.

12:58 -I need a gun.

12:59 Need a gun, need a gun!

13:00 [exclaims] [panting] -Hah!

13:02 -[exclaims] [gun clicks] Come on, man.

13:07 -Hup!

13:11 -[yelping] [panting] Kinger?

13:14 Really use another one of those butterflies!

13:17 -Howdy, howdy.

13:18 -[screams] I-I-I know exactly what you're doing with Pomni,

13:22 and it'll never work!

13:24 -Huh?

13:25 -You know, getting close with Pomni...

13:29 to corrupt her?

13:32 Wait, no, no, no, no!

13:33 Wait, wait, wait!

13:34 [kablam!] -[coughs] -Oh, wow— I didn't actually think that'd work.

13:41 [yelps] [gun clicking] -[panting] [pop!] Huh?

13:51 Oh.

13:54 -I lost Kinger, but I got him down to one life.

13:57 -I lost a life, but I got us down to one Kinger.

14:00 -How'd you let her take a life off you?

14:03 -I don't really know.

14:11 -[Zooble]: Hey, I found this AK...

14:13 thing.

14:13 If we can't find the tommy gun, will this work?

14:15 -Uh, yeah.

14:19 Do you...

14:20 think...

14:22 Jax...

14:23 is gonna be mad that I didn't team up with him?

14:26 -[Zooble]: I wouldn't worry about him right now.

14:28 It's all just a game, in the end.

14:30 -It's Jax, though.

14:32 He probably wants revenge.

14:35 And he's gonna make it painful, and— -[Zooble]: Hey,

14:37 you deserve better than thinking about him when he's not even here.

14:42 You're a human.

14:43 You're not his toy.

14:47 -It sometimes doesn't feel that way.

14:57 -[Zooble]: These avatar gimmicks, huh?

14:59 Makes you wonder why no one else got them.

15:02 -I just wish that...

15:05 [sighs] How are you supposed to like the part of yourself that just...

15:12 makes you worse than everyone else?

15:14 [melancholy music plays] -[Zooble]: 'Cause it exists.

15:23 It's a part of you that's real,

15:26 and the only you that you should care about is the real you.

15:33 You have to choose to love yourself, even if it doesn't make sense.

15:38 It's not natural.

15:40 It's intentional.

15:43 -Have...

15:44 you ever had to make that choice?

15:47 -[Zooble]: Huh?

15:48 -S-Sorry.

15:49 I mean...

15:50 [laughs] Of course not.

15:51 You're Zooble.

15:53 [laughs weakly]♪♪♪♪ -[Zooble]: Whatever happens...

16:04 I've got your back if you've got mine.

16:06 -Yeah.

16:07 Now let's go kill Pomni and Jax.

16:11 -Alright, here's one.

16:13 What's with the corn thing?

16:15 -[scoffs] What corn thing?

16:17 -Why are you afraid of corn?

16:19 And don't say that you're not.

16:20 You literally jumped out of your seat twice when you saw some.

16:23 -Heh, not gonna let me out of this one.

16:26 Well, I dunno.

16:27 It's got a bunch of little pods on it.

16:30 Looks kind of like an egg sack, or somethin'.

16:32 It's gross.

16:33 Makes my skin crawl.

16:35 -Interesting.

16:36 Do you have, like, a type of trypophobia?

16:40 -What's that?

16:40 -The fear of lots of little holes.

16:42 -Eugh.

16:43 -Okay.

16:44 How about...

16:46 pomegranates?

16:47 -Awful.

16:48 -I'm learning a lot about you today.

16:50 -Heh, let's not forget we're here to kill people.

16:53 We still need to find out where nutso went before we can rest easy.

16:57 -[gasps softly] -[Kinger]: I'm right behind you, aren't I?

17:02 [yelps goofily] [punchy percussive music plays] [gunfire]♪♪ [lighter

17:17 flicks] [bullets clinking into cylinder] -[Pomni]: There he is!

17:20 -[Kinger]: [yelps]♪♪ -[Pomni]: [yelps] -[Jax]: Whoop, sorry.

17:32 -[Kinger]: I hope you guys are ready for my ricochet super move!

17:36 [gunfire] [bullets whizzing] -[Jax]: Oh, here's the light.

17:45 -Huh.

17:47 -High-five!

17:48 -Yeah!

17:49 [pop!] -[Kinger]: Ah, what a game.

17:52 Who knew Pomni could be such a sharpshooter?

17:55 These adventures, huh?

17:59 And look, even though we lost, at least we gave it our all, right?

18:08 Um...

18:09 you feeling alright?

18:14 Are you upset that we lost?

18:20 Or are you upset about something else?

18:26 You wanna talk about it?

18:30 -[sighs] [shakily] I think...

18:34 I might have failed Pomni.

18:39 Just like I failed Jax.

18:42 I try too hard to get on their good side,

18:45 and then I just end up pushing them away.

18:48 And then, they end up hating me.

18:51 -[Kinger]: Well, I don't think anyone in here hates you.

18:53 -[scoffs] Jax does!

18:55 Gangle and Zooble don't ever talk to me,

18:57 and Pomni probably won't after today, either.

19:00 [sighs] She came to me wanting to be on my team.

19:04 I said no.

19:06 [sighs] Why did I do that?

19:10 -[Kinger]: Maybe you just needed a break.

19:12 It sounds to me like you put a lot

19:14 of pressure on yourself to be there for everyone,

19:16 and when you're not, you beat yourself up for it.

19:20 You said you failed Pomni.

19:22 W-Why do you feel that way?

19:26 -I don't know.

19:28 I feel like every day, we're drifting further apart.

19:32 Like she's seen through all my tricks and doesn't trust me anymore.

19:35 Before I know it...

19:37 she'll be a different person.

19:39 One who doesn't even want me around.

19:44 -[Kinger]: The way I see it, relationships are two-sided, and sometimes,

19:49 it doesn't make sense to do all the heavy

19:52 lifting when the other isn't in the mood.

19:54 We all go through and deal with things differently, and sometimes,

19:58 you just need to let people do things their own

20:01 way— as long as you're still there when they need you.

20:05 Giving someone space should never be the same as giving up on them.

20:10 [melancholy music plays] -I don't even know what I want.

20:16 I just want everyone to be happy.

20:19 And I don't want people to hate me.

20:23 -[Kinger]: Do you hate yourself?

20:29 I hated myself.

20:31 I couldn't help but hate myself for the things I thought I was responsible for.

20:37 I thought I'd lost everything.

20:39 But then...

20:41 you showed up.

20:43 And my outlook just...

20:46 changed.

20:49 There are always ways to show you care without ruining yourself over it.

20:54 You need to look out for yourself in all this, too.

20:58 -I don't get it.

21:00 So often, nothing you say makes any sense.

21:02 But then, you have these moments where you...

21:05 [laughs] I don't know.

21:07 How do you do that?

21:09 How've you been around for so long?

21:11 -[Kinger]: Heh.

21:13 I guess I just have a resilient mind.

21:17 [music fades out] -Breathtaking!

21:22 The committee's gonna love that.

21:25 [punchy, dramatic music plays] -[Zooble]: Are they still following us?

21:29 -Are you still following us?

21:31 -[Jax]: Yeah, we're still following you!

21:32 -[Pomni]: Where else would we be?

21:34 -They're still following us.

21:36 -[Zooble]: Alright, this is a long one.

21:38 We're gonna have to run.

21:40 Let's go!

21:42 -Hah!

21:51 -[Zooble]: Ugh, we got so unlucky with the drops here.

21:55 -[gasps softly] It's time.

21:59 -[Jax]: Why'd you stop shooting?

22:00 You out of ammo?

22:02 -[Zooble]: Why'd you stop?

22:03 You out of ammo?

22:05 -Pomni, got any ammo left?

22:06 -Uh, I have one in the cylinder and one sniper round, but no sniper rifle.

22:11 -[scoffs] Crap.

22:12 -[laughing maniacally] -[yelps] -[laughing continues] Yeah!

22:21 [all hollering]♪♪ -[gasps] -[exclaims] -Ah!

22:39 -[Zooble]: [BLEEP!] [lock clicks] -You're just gonna hide in your room?

22:47 -Coward!

22:49 [parts clicking, snapping] -[Zooble]: Huh.

22:57 -[singing]♪ Daisy♪♪ Daisy♪ -[both]:

23:02 [harmonizing]♪ Give me your answer, do♪ -[Zooble]:

23:03 Are— Are you seriously♪ Give me your answer, do♪ gonna start singing that?

23:06 Give me your answer, do♪ -[both]:♪ I'm half crazy♪♪ All for the love

23:14 of you♪♪ It won't be a stylish marriage♪♪ I

23:22 can't afford a carriage♪♪ But you'll look sweet♪♪ Upon

23:28 the seat♪♪ Of a bicycle built for two♪ -Oh, wait— I have a key to Zooble's room.

23:40 [kaboom!] [grunts] Agh!

23:42 AAAAAAAUGH!!

23:44 [rousing rendition of "Daisy Bell" plays]♪♪♪♪ [groans] Ugh...

23:59 ow.

24:00 -I can get 'em.

24:01 -W-Wait!

24:02 -Trust me, partner!

24:03 I got this!

24:06 -[sighs] [dramatic music plays]♪♪♪♪ Hah!

24:40 -[Zooble]: That's actual bull-[BOINK!].

24:42 Ow!

24:47 Well, [DOINK!], man.

24:48 Guess that's the end of that.

24:50 See you on the flip side.

24:55 [blam!] Agh!

24:57 [pop!] What?

25:02 -[laughing] We did it!

25:06 We made such a good team!

25:08 [laughs] -Ugh!

25:10 -[grunts] [stammers] -[chuckles] Well, to be fair,

25:15 our competition wasn't anything crazy.

25:18 -Eh, yeah, true.

25:23 I suppose this is the part where one of us betrays the other.

25:27 Hah!

25:29 -Huh?

25:30 Oh, yeah.

25:31 You can betray me.

25:32 -Oh.

25:32 Uh— I just— I thought this was gonna be a mutual thing.

25:36 -Nah, nah.

25:37 Go on, do it.

25:39 -I-I don't...

25:40 really want to.

25:42 -La-ame!

25:42 Come on!

25:43 I thought you were cool.

25:45 -We could just be winners.

25:48 As a team.

25:49 -We're not a team!

25:50 Come on.

25:51 -[stammers] What do you mean?

25:52 Yes, we are.

25:53 -Delusional.

25:54 -W-Weren't we kind of bonding over being chaotic-evil together?

25:59 -[scoffs] I was merely entertaining you because I thought it was funny.

26:03 Now, are you gonna shoot me, or what?

26:05 -Did I...

26:06 do something wrong?

26:07 -Ugh, you sound like Ragatha right now.

26:10 No wonder we're not a team.

26:11 -No, I mean— We were doing fine.

26:14 Having fun, talking.

26:16 But you suddenly just— -You're not committing.

26:20 Do it.

26:22 -If I shoot you right now, are we still gonna be friends afterwards?

26:25 -We were never friends.

26:27 -Wh— What about all that stuff you told me?

26:30 -Yeah, I did tell you a lot, didn't I?

26:33 Not looking forward to thinking about that tomorrow.

26:35 -No.

26:35 No, no, no.

26:36 We're not doing this.

26:38 You're— You're not gonna look me in the eye and tell

26:40 me nothing we've been doing together meant anything to you,

26:43 because I know that's not true.

26:46 -Are you coming on to me?

26:47 Yeah, that's what everybody wants— a straight couple.

26:50 -Oh, my God, can you take this seriously?

26:53 Can you take anything seriously?

26:55 -Dude, you're a cartoon clown.

26:58 How am I supposed to take you seriously?

27:00 -Wh— I— [exclaims softly] You reached out to me, not the other way around.

27:05 You're just gonna pretend that didn't happen?

27:08 -You must be misremembering.

27:10 -Is this why you didn't show up to Kaufmo's funeral?

27:12 -I don't show up to ANY funerals.

27:14 -Yeah, I bet you don't— because you're scared.

27:16 Y-You're scared you'll actually show a human emotion.

27:20 -I'm scared I'll be BORED to TEARS.

27:23 -Have you ever thought that this might be

27:25 what causes people to abstract in the first place?

27:27 -[laughs bitterly] Oh, my GOD!

27:29 Are you seriously gonna blame me for something that everybody else did, too?!

27:33 You didn't even know him!

27:34 You don't even know what people are like before they abstract!

27:37 They are NOT pleasant to be around— like, at all!

27:41 You— [scoffs] -I-I'm...

27:46 I'm sorry.

27:47 -[clicks tongue] I'm sure you are.

27:51 [hisses through teeth] Hoo, man!

27:53 This is all sorts of embarrassing, huh?

27:57 So, you gonna shoot me, or what?

28:00 -What would you do if I abstracted tomorrow?

28:06 -I'd move on.

28:09 And probably forget about you.

28:14 -Okay.

28:18 Okay.

28:21 I understand.

28:27 -[scoffs] [chuckles bitterly] Geez, you really can't take a joke, can you?

28:34 -[exclaims] -[grunts] -You're not the funny one!

28:38 -Uh, I don't think that counts.

28:40 -[hollers] -[grunts] -[growling] -[choking] Hey, what are you doing?!

28:47 -[grunting] -Guh.

28:49 Agh!

28:49 -[panting] -Guh!

28:51 -[chomps] -Fight back!

28:54 -Are you crazy?!

28:55 -I said, fight back!

28:56 [both grunting, hollering] -Stop!

29:02 [both panting] What's wrong with you?!

29:07 -Why didn't you fight back?

29:08 -Oh, here we go.

29:09 Here we go!

29:11 Because I didn't fight back, that means I secretly care about you?!

29:15 I'm just a misunderstood little chicken fetus

29:17 in an egg that needs to be cracked open.

29:19 Well, I am not!

29:21 I do not care about you, or anyone else in this circus in the slightest!

29:26 End of story!

29:28 You are my playthings, and I get joy out of making you suffer.

29:35 I'm the one who causes pain for fun!

29:39 If I led you on, it was just to make this part hurt you more.

29:46 [BOINK!] [DOINK!] [panting] There's nothing more to me.

29:56 So, please, just stop looking.

30:06 [upbeat fanfare plays]♪♪♪♪ [both grunt softly] -Hey, I— I feel like,

30:21 uh— -I-I have something I— You can speak first.

30:23 -No, you go.

30:25 Let's talk after the show.

30:27 -Yeah, sounds good.

30:37 [overlapping chatter] [cheers and applause] -[Caine]: Ladies and gentlemen,

30:52 it's time for the Favorite Character Awards!

30:56 Before anything starts, I'd like to thank...

30:59 [deep voice] THE COMMITTEE...

31:00 [normal voice] for examining our nominees and voting on our winners.

31:03 -[Committee Members]: We love you, Caine!

31:05 -Sh- Shut up.

31:06 -[Committee Member]: Okay...

31:07 -[Caine]: But what's an award show without honorable mentions and subcategories?

31:12 That's right— it's bad!

31:14 [muffled] Unlike my show, which is good.

31:17 [muffled music continues]♪♪ -[panting] [heartbeat

31:24 thudding] [muffled music fades] [high-pitched ringing]

31:33 [sighs] [muffled music fades in] [ringing fades out]♪♪ God, you look stupid.

31:42 [toilet flushes]♪♪ -[Disappearing Guy]:

31:47 So— -And the award for Biggest Sailor Mouth goes to...

31:53 Zooble!

31:54 [cheers and applause] -[Zooble]: Huh?

32:08 -Alright, folks, it's now the moment you've all been waiting for...

32:13 the award for Favorite Character!

32:17 Bubble, give me a drum roll.

32:19 [drum roll plays] -And the award for Favorite Character goes to...

32:25 Why...

32:26 it's me, everyone!

32:33 Oh, wait, I misread that.

32:36 It's Ming.

32:42 -[Ming]: You shouldn't have assumed you won the award.

32:45 Now we both look foolish.

32:51 [upbeat jazzy music plays]♪♪♪♪♪♪

33:16 [Captioned by Foulweather Studios]♪♪♪♪ -Alrighty.

33:42 Now, let's see how many of them voted for me.

33:49 Heh.

33:51 [glitched feedback blares]