Emily Is Open for Business | Gilmore Girls

0:04 You do realize you just leaped out of a moving vehicle.

0:07 Everything cannot be on your schedule, Richard.

0:10 Now, where is it?

0:10 I know I put it in here.

0:13 In all the years we've been together,

0:14 I have never seen you behave as irrationally as Emily, I'm talking to you.

0:18 Would you stop?

0:19 Emily, this feud of ours has now reached comical heights

0:22 that Charlie Chaplin himself would find hilarious, and he's dead.

0:26 Don't follow me, Richard.

0:27 Oh, wait.

0:28 Come back.

0:29 Let me get you a cab.

0:30 Not a Derby.

0:38 What are you doing?

0:39 I'm looking for my European luggage,

0:41 which some imbecile has chosen to hide from me.

0:44 What do you need your European luggage for?

0:45 To put things in.

0:47 Wait, you're making a mess.

0:48 I don't care if I'm making a mess.

0:50 Well, who's going to clean all this up?

0:51 You?

0:51 Yes, me.

0:52 Or the maid.

0:53 Or perhaps Pennilyn Lott can come by after one

0:55 of your clandestine lunches and take a stab at it.

0:58 Oh, for heaven's sake, not that again.

0:59 She's just a friend.

1:01 I am going to Europe, Richard.

1:03 I'm going to Europe, and I'm going to have a marvelous time.

1:05 I'm going to get up at 10:00,

1:07 and I'm going to have two glasses of wine at lunch every single day.

1:10 Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch.

1:13 Well, then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno, because I am open for business.

1:17 I I can't talk to you when you're like this.

1:18 I'm going to bed.

1:19 You go to bed, I'll go to France.

1:41 RICHARD!

1:43 RICHARD!

1:45 THE DOOR'S STUCK, RICHARD!

1:49 THIS ISN'T FUNNY!

2:16 RICHARD!

2:17 RICHARD!

2:18 EMILY?

2:19 YOU LOCKED ME IN!

2:21 I did not lock you in.

2:22 YOU CERTAINLY DID LOCK me in.

2:24 Well, the door must be jammed.

2:25 Did you try jiggling the knob?

2:27 I suppose I could do that, OR YOU COULD

2:29 JUST GET THE HELL DOWN HERE AND LET ME OUT!

2:31 GIVE ME A MOMENT, PLEASE.

2:33 If you don't come down here right now, I WILL CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW.

2:36 Do not climb out the window.

2:38 I will.

2:39 I will climb out the window right now.

2:40 Don't you dare.

2:42 I'm doing it.

2:44 I'm climbing out the window.

2:45 You better not climb out the window.

2:48 Damn it.

2:49 Emily Gilmore, I better not catch you climbing out the window.

2:54 I'm out the window.

2:55 I'm out the window.

2:58 Get down from there.

2:59 No.

3:00 Emily, get back here.

3:02 Emily!

3:12 Are you having an aneurysm or something?

3:14 Get inside and put this on.

3:16 Get away from me.

3:17 Do you seriously think that after 39 years of marriage,

3:20 I would resort to locking you in a basement?

3:22 I don't know what you resort to.

3:23 I don't know who you are at all.

3:25 I knew the mental illness in your family would catch up with you eventually.

3:28 Aunt Carol was not mentally ill.

3:29 She was athletic.

3:32 Oh, fine.

3:37 Is there some sort of problem here, folks?

3:39 No, there's no problem.

3:40 We got a call from some of your neighbors complaining about a disturbance.

3:42 We apologize.

3:43 We're going inside right now.

3:45 Do not tell me what to do.

3:47 Can we have your security password, please?

3:48 Look, it's getting late.

3:49 So, either shoot us or go away.

3:51 Fine.

3:52 We'll just write up a report here and be on our way.

3:55 Are you happy, Richard?

3:56 Now there's a report.

3:58 And a report means we'll be in the police blotter.

4:00 Pennilyn Huffington reads the police blotter religiously.

4:03 It's like heroin to her.

4:04 You've turned us into the scandal of the neighborhood.

4:06 Do you know what, Emily?

4:09 If nothing else, this display tonight demonstrates clearly

4:12 that you are no longer the woman I married.

4:16 The woman you married was your partner.

4:18 You listened to her.

4:18 You consulted with her.

4:19 You respected her.

4:21 So, you are right, Richard.

4:22 I am definitely not the woman you married.

4:29 [music and singing] [music]