I Don't Know James Rolfe

I Don't Know James Rolfe

Folding Ideas

0:08 I feel a certain amount of kinship

0:11 with James Rolfe we're basically the same age we

0:14 both went to film school we both ultimately

0:17 found ourselves making videos about media for YouTube

0:22 Better known as The Angry Video Game Nerd

0:24 James has this behind the scenes video that I

0:29 can't stop thinking about AVGN Behind the Scenes

0:32 and Nerd Room Tour 2021 There's just so much going on with it there's a light

0:41 stand suspended from the ceiling with craft wire

0:44 a cable hole made in a desk by attacking it with a drill like a slasher

0:49 villain the whole thing begins with an awkward

0:52 disclaimer that the audio is being recorded

0:54 from a different microphone just off screen than

0:58 the one that's immediately apparent I I recorded this entire

1:02 video and realized this mic is not plugged in the shotgun mic is plugged in then

1:09 there's the tripod James expresses a desire

1:12 to keep things out of his way tripods light

1:15 stands and such to maximize floor space

1:18 in his studio A worthy goal I can empathize

1:22 with as I sit here in a veritable forest of aluminum and steel but then he shows

1:29 his solution a tripod head secured to a strip of lumber by two mismatched scraps

1:36 of wood it is a wrong thing a cludged-together

1:41 precarious mess whose wrongness is intuitively apparent even

1:46 to those who have little familiarity with the equipment

1:50 of film making this thing ruined my life

1:55 in the way that only the inexplicable decisions

1:59 of strangers can why was this made why was this made this way what was

2:06 happening that created the circumstances that led

2:09 to this being made the way that it

2:12 was made many of the solutions being shown off

2:15 in the video seemed counterproductive solutions to inefficiency

2:19 more inefficient than the original problem this Glimpse behind

2:24 the scenes paints a blurry yet still identifiable

2:27 picture of a process of endless maintenance a forever

2:32 war James Rolfe is engaged in against

2:36 the twin belligerent of entropy and James Rolfe he

2:40 includes a captivating outake from the recording

2:43 of his 2021 video Shrek Fairytail Freak Down where

2:47 he's tied to a chair and trying to hold an onion in his mouth like a ball

2:52 gag he loses his grip on the vegetable

2:54 and lashes out in frustration cursing the onion

2:57 cursing the ropes cursing Co cursing the lack of hands to help boy I wish I

3:04 had a crew wish we didn't have Co and all this[ __][ __] it is a sincere

3:11 frustration honestly more compelling than the video it's

3:15 from but it betrays a lack of foresight

3:20 a lack of planning and its inclusion feels

3:24 rhetorically misplaced this rhetorical confusion marbles throughout the Studio

3:30 Tour repeated shoutouts given to his multi-channel Network

3:34 Screenwave a seemingly out of left field defense

3:37 of his wife April and a laundry list

3:40 of one-off projects consuming his time James says

3:44 he'll be addressing some complaints in his words

3:47 of the assholish variety which suggests that there's

3:51 something more going on but why say these things

3:57 why make these admissions I thought I knew

4:02 the Angry Video Game Nerd I distinctly

4:04 remember huddling with my film school peers around

4:08 a computer in 2006 laughing over chronologically confused

4:12 and mentally noting that the inevitable had begun serving

4:16 video over the internet was on the cusp

4:20 of viability and the web was already developing

4:24 its own vernacular internet videos weren't just the happen

4:27 stance of virality anymore or out of context

4:30 Clips forwarded via email or repurpose clips

4:33 of shows and movies they were things being made

4:38 for the internet and everything was about to change I may not have been the most

4:45 Ardent fan but it was impossible to not know about the Angry Video Game Nerd

4:50 and by extension James Rolfe The Man Behind

4:54 the pocket protector as The Story Goes James Rolfe was

4:58 a pioneer of New Media while he arguably

5:01 spawned the entire genre of angry reviews and undeniably

5:06 set the tempo for thousands of creators he

5:09 set himself apart from the crowd by being a trained filmmaker having a leg up

5:16 on the skill sets of lighting sound and camera

5:19 work even as YouTuber became a real career

5:23 he never really seemed to embrace the identity

5:27 always seemed apart from it as his peers

5:32 would often detail he wasn't a YouTuber he

5:35 was a filmmaker but how could I square

5:39 that reputation with this admission of his process

5:43 with the light stands arduously suspended with craft

5:47 wire in lieu of a $15 scissor clamp James

5:52 says his camera work has grown stagnant claims

5:56 that it frustrates him most of all before detailing

6:00 an insistence on disassembling an entire rig

6:03 to move from the prompter to the tripod rather

6:06 than using a quick release plate or investing

6:09 in a second camera body only to then

6:13 minutes later admit to having a second camera

6:17 body this made me keenly aware of one thing above all I do not know James

6:28 Rolfe having glimpsed something of his Oddities the distant

7:25 Spectre of the man gripped me with a hunger

7:28 for comprehension a compulsion to know more

7:31 fortunately he had already offered me more in 2022

7:35 James self-published his Memoirs and autobiography A Movie

7:40 Making Nerd circumstances being what they are

7:43 I feel a reintroduction is necessary between 2004

7:47 and 2006 fresh Film School grad James Rolfe

7:50 created a Trilogy of short skits where he played

7:54 a stereotypical nerd complaining about old Nintendo

7:57 games the character lampooned something that James saw

8:01 as inherently funny his friends getting intensely angry

8:05 about video games his university buddy Mike Matei thought

8:09 they were hilarious and in 2006 uploaded

8:11 the videos to the fledgling YouTube where they would

8:15 see enormous success compelling James to make more

8:18 of them and creating what we now know as the Angry Video Game Nerd the brand

8:24 and format coalesced quickly and has remained largely

8:27 unchanged for 20 years for the seventh video

8:30 MC kids their friend Kyle Justin wrote an absolute

8:33 earworm of theme song that is honestly somewhere

8:36 between 40 and 80% of the reason that we're

8:41 having this conversation in the first place [singing]

8:46 'He's gonna take you back to the past' Mike,

8:51 an avid retro gamer with an extensive collection,

8:54 would feed James material and manage logistics like web hosting,

8:58 maintaining the YouTube channel,

8:59 securing partnerships with outlets like Screw Attack,

9:02 and James would handle the video production.

9:05 The show’s comedy hinged, and really still hinges,

9:08 on a combination of acidic vulgarity,

9:12 casual violence, and an excess of juvenile machismo.

9:18 this game is worse than a Mischief Night prank Mischief Night is throwing

9:21 toilet paper all over someone's yard

9:22 this game is the equivalent of throwing toilet

9:24 paper after you wiped your ass it's as refreshing as a horse's anus[ __]

9:28 The Crow up it's bird ass and[ __] you you[ __] clown face Joker

9:32 Kiss makeup wearing King Diamond Beetlejuice Alice

9:35 Cooper Marilyn Manson[ __] but it wasn't

9:39 James's first creation James did not apparate EX nilo in 2006 and a movie

9:46 making nerd is an opportunity to delve into that prehistory Now is as good

10:00 a time as any to mention the odd conflict that swirls around James.

10:04 He has attracted a not-insubstantial audience of cankerous hate-watchers,

10:09 self-styled truthers, who have made a hobby of disseminating what

10:12 they see to be the “truth” of James Rolfe:

10:15 that he is a man of hubris, ungrateful for his success on YouTube,

10:19 and dismissive of the very fans who gave him a career in the first place,

10:25 alternately a know-nothing failure of a filmmaker

10:28 or a cuckolded visionary who could

10:30 have had it all if he hadn’t been laid low by his bitch wife.

10:34 I am far from the first person to ask

10:38 the question “who is James Rolfe?” James is,

10:42 by reputation, personally extremely offline,

10:45 he values his privacy and sees social media as a distraction from his craft,

10:50 tries to keep his personal life personal.

10:53 That is an admirable quality, but it’s also not a hard line.

10:58 Obviously I’m holding his self-published autobiography.

11:03 Whatever secrecy James enjoys by not dropping selfies

11:06 on the gram every day he makes up for with infrequent,

11:11 but overwhelming trips into his personal affairs.

11:14 He may not go often, but when he goes he goes big.

11:18 And maybe that is why it has wormed its way into my brain.

11:22 Not all of the fascination with the historical arc of the AVGN is odious.

11:28 There is something profoundly compelling about James:

11:32 people who become aware of his quirks find themselves enthralled.

11:37 anyway that's all I have to say for now

11:40 there's 10 more videos to make on this subject

11:42 but that's James Rolfe and the dvx100 People

11:45 talk about James in a very specific way,

11:48 my friends talk about James in a very specific way,

11:52 and I have developed a very strange, adversarial relationship with that.

11:58 The cultural impact of AVGN is undeniably far reaching,

12:01 he is without question the direct inspiration for many,

12:07 many imitators and derivatives.

12:09 AVGN set the tone that all YouTube reviews

12:12 would in some form or another respond to.

12:15 Two decades on the cultural impact of AVGN is deep in the DNA of YouTube.

12:22 But it is also likewise easy to overstate

12:25 the uniqueness of The Angry Video Game Nerd,

12:28 as though James captured something that would have never otherwise existed.

12:34 The concept of media critique as entertainment did not begin with James Rolfe.

12:41 “The bottom line is this: Swamp Buggy Racing is one of the most

12:45 inexplicably bad pieces of software ever mass produced for the consumer market.

12:49 Do not buy it.

12:50 Do not rent it.

12:51 Do not even pick up the box.

12:53 I’m going to go launch the game one

12:56 last time to get screen shots for this review,

12:58 and after that I’ll be giving the game

13:00 disc to the four-year-old who lives downstairs

13:02 so he can turn it into a colourful Frisbee.” 6% PC Gamer, May 2000 Classic.

13:11 Basically as long as the review has existed as a literary

13:15 form writers have sought to make them entertaining for their own sake.

13:21 Even disregarding that long legacy, the DNA of the Angry Video Game Nerd follows

13:26 in a lineage with Siskel and Ebert At the Movies,

13:29 Mystery Science Theatre 3000, Stomp Tokyo, and Seanbaby dot com.

13:34 Culturally AVGN was right in line with Penny Arcade.

13:38 In 2006 Jerry and Mike were entering their eighth year of success

13:43 with a webcomic whose comedy hinged on acidic vulgarity, casual violence,

13:48 and an excess of juvenile machismo,

13:51 a formula that had proven so successful they were able

13:55 to spin it off into its own expo in 2004.

13:59 There were many people putting out the same kind of material as James,

14:05 but his filmmaking background gave him a critical

14:08 advantage in the early days of YouTube.

14:11 Simply owning a digital camera and having a basic grasp

14:15 of audio separated him from his competitors filming on webcams.

14:20 James Rolfe was perfectly positioned, and by coincidence,

14:23 struck an iron he didn’t even know was hot.

14:28 Like all YouTubers, he got lucky, he got insanely lucky.

14:34 While the early YouTube subscriber numbers look modest by modern standards,

14:39 JamesNintendoNerd was briefly the eighth largest channel

14:44 on YouTube in 2008 with 125,000 subscribers, and the channel’s three,

14:50 almost four million modern subscribers are respectable but somewhat mundane,

14:56 the subscriber numbers don’t betray just how popular the Nerd really was.

15:03 By the time the AVGN movie was announced

15:07 in 2011 the channel had nearly 300 million lifetime views.

15:12 He didn’t just have viewers, he had fans,

15:17 passionate fans who made fan art, not just fan art, fan video games!

15:23 It is no overstatement to say that the Angry Video Game Nerd was a phenomenon.

15:31 The book is structured around James’s career as a filmmaker,

15:35 taking it as a given that James is, in fact, not a YouTuber.

15:42 Even AVGN is conceptualized as a Cinemassacre production,

15:45 just one of the many things that James has made.

15:50 James has been making movies since he was 8 years old,

15:53 and in the telling of the story James chronicles his career

15:57 from that point through film school to the first performance of his band,

16:03 Rex Viper in October 2021.

16:05 The shocking thing, really, is how absent the Nerd is in the book,

16:09 to the point It’s hard to articulate how little weight is given to the subject.

16:15 You learn more about what James thinks of the film Wavelength

16:20 than you do about his thoughts on the web show that is,

16:27 holistically, his career.

16:39 Wavelength is a 1967 experimental short film,

16:42 created by Canadian multi-disciplinary artist Michael Snow.

16:46 Wavelength as a film is relatively easy to describe but difficult to explain,

16:51 it functions as something of an ink blot test for critics as the way in which

16:55 you go about explaining it will inevitably betray

16:58 something about the way in which you approach film.

17:01 Some critics praised the film as the Birth

17:04 of a Nation and Citizen Kane of underground films;

17:07 while other critics heckled the film and many walked out.

17:11 Michael Snow, for his part, found this hilarious.

17:14 Wavelength, like many avante-garde films, is what you bring to it.

17:18 Is it a 45-minute long shot of a wall,

17:21 or is it a film about film and its relationship to time?

17:25 That is an exercise for the viewer.

17:28 This versatility has allowed the film to be used

17:31 as a foundation for complex discussions in film theory.

17:33 But despite its importance,

17:35 Wavelength is perhaps better known as a foil for students,

17:39 the archetype of heady, pretentious films to endure in film school.

17:44 Students prime themselves to reject the film,

17:47 but even in rejection, they engage with Wavelength.

17:51 The only constant in watching Wavelength, is the act of viewership itself.

17:56 You must physically experience the film to understand it.

17:59 If Wavelength could be said to have a core theme, it would be reflection.

18:04 The film uses boredom and frustration to force the viewer to engage.

18:09 A wandering mind is in its own way an intended response.

18:14 The viewer is compelled to reflect on their role in proceedings,

18:19 their role as a viewer.

18:21 The movie, in essence, holds a mirror up to the audience.

18:25 In cursing the time lost, and in describing their tortuous experiences,

18:30 even the most checked-out students unknowingly engage with the film’s ideas.

18:36 That is the unique power of Wavelength.

18:39 Even in rejecting it, the viewer learns something about themselves.

19:01 James’ profile as a filmmaker is ultimately dominated by his one feature film,

19:06 crowdfunded in 2011, shot in 2012, and released in 2014.

19:11 Summer 2024 will be the tenth anniversary of The Angry video Game Nerd:

19:16 The Movie, a truly bizarre and intriguing piece of outsider art.

19:22 All movies are miracles, but this one is a bit more of a miracle

19:26 than most- by all rights it should not exist.

19:29 The production was troubled in all the ways that productions are,

19:32 and then on top of that in a number of ways that movies typically aren’t.

19:38 It is, on sum, not very good, but that much has been said before.

19:42 It is, as a story, rudderless and confusing,

19:45 an unresolved conflict of creative fascinations,

19:48 external pressures, and foundational bad decisions.

19:52 It’s tempting to get caught in the quagmire of those decisions,

19:56 but for the most part it can all be traced back to boring foundational issues.

20:00 In learning of all the myriad ways in which the budget was poorly optimized,

20:05 in seeing the dated and weak humour,

20:08 in watching an actor who isn’t enamoured with the mythology

20:12 of James Rolfe pronounce the name “Death Mwauthzyx” to little success,

20:16 it’s easy to latch on as though those details

20:19 are the thing that makes the movie what it is,

20:23 but the true problem is much more basic.

20:26 [Mandi] hey now don't get your panties in a wad

20:30 [McButter] I'm not wearing any panties [Cooper] Hot!

20:35 The script was written haphazardly by James and his high

20:38 school buddy Kevin Finn over the course of almost six years,

20:42 originating shortly after AVGN itself in 2006.

20:45 It is trying to be a supersized episode of the web show,

20:49 and a flex of James’ skills as a filmmaker,

20:52 and a self-aware b-movie version of a blockbuster,

20:56 and just something altogether not the web show.

21:00 This is the foundational problem:

21:02 an inability to decide on what the project actually was.

21:06 Without a creative vision, an actual big picture creative vision of what

21:12 the finished product is supposed to be,

21:15 the end product lacks focus, lacks intent,

21:17 lacks the backstop of feedback that would tell

21:20 the two of them that Death Mwauthzyx as the name

21:24 of the film’s ultimate kaiju villain is an in-joke

21:28 between the writers that just isn’t very funny.

21:32 The entire movie bizarrely revolves around the Nerd

21:35 being compelled in some way to review E.T.

21:38 for the Atari 2600, the fragmentary shards of the movie as a supersized episode,

21:44 but clearance for the actual E.T.

21:46 intellectual property was never secured requiring

21:49 the movie to revolve around a spoof instead,

21:52 which undercuts the verisimilitude of the movie as a big budget episode.

21:59 The core plot never makes much sense,

22:02 the motivations of the Nerd are incoherent,

22:04 and the core conflict seems to be that the Nerd doesn’t want

22:08 to review the game because it gave him nightmares as a child,

22:12 which itself appears to be an episode

22:14 lifted from James’ own childhood as a version

22:16 of the scene is one of the recurring nightmares

22:19 James describes in the first chapter of the book.

22:21 The production itself was plagued with indecision:

22:24 James was wearing a lot of different

22:26 hats that placed tremendous demands on his attention,

22:29 requiring a level of delegation that he was simply unprepared for.

22:34 The process stretched out years longer than anyone wanted and left

22:38 James thoroughly burnt out and disillusioned with the whole circus.

22:43 Some AVGN viewers wonder why the film

22:46 introduces two new characters, Cooper and Mandy,

22:50 in lieu of using Kyle, Bootsy, Mike,

22:52 or any of the other day players that featured in AVGN episodes.

22:56 But, like, the answer is obvious:

23:00 imagine Mike Matei trying to act in a feature film.

23:05 No.

23:06 Just… no.

23:08 James himself struggles through the entire film because… he’s also not an actor.

23:15 Like, well, he is an actor in the literal sense,

23:19 he performs a character on camera professionally,

23:22 but he is, and always has been, an actor of convenience.

23:29 The only reason he is the nerd is because

23:32 he didn’t have anyone else to be the nerd instead.

23:37 That’s not to say James isn’t good at being the Nerd.

23:40 It takes work to be a clown.

23:43 James has skills as a performer,

23:46 his ability to suppress his self-consciousness and yell,

23:50 scream, fart, and vomit for an audience isn’t to be downplayed.

23:54 Do you have… any idea how hard it is to get mad on camera?

24:00 There’s a whole instinct of embarrassment, of self-preservation,

24:03 that you need to bury in order to sit alone in a room

24:08 and howl at full volume for an audience that doesn’t even exist!

24:12 They can’t see you, the real you,

24:14 sitting on the floor of your basement debasing yourself for them!

24:18 They’re just phantasms off in the future

24:21 that are going to consume some ghost of you spewed out at them by their phones

24:28 as a crass homunculus of photons and digital audio!

24:33 It’s easy to postulate on what the movie maybe should have been instead,

24:38 a low budget horror movie or creature feature,

24:40 literally just a big budget YouTube video

24:42 in the same vein as the Channel Awesome anniversary specials,

24:47 basically anything other than what it actually was,

24:50 but I have mulled on and dismissed the notion that AVGN:

24:55 the movie is an aberration.

24:58 While there are undeniable conflicting incentives in the mix,

25:01 the whole thing was clearly an extension of the Angry Video

25:04 Game Nerd because that was the thing the crowd would respond

25:07 to, the thing they could raise money for, I think what

25:11 we got is ultimately truthful to James’ instincts as a filmmaker.

25:16 Jame’s earliest filmography has been lost to the inevitable rot of VHS tapes,

25:22 but conveniently the book preserves many of them as anecdotes,

25:26 lessons, and technological milestones in James’ journey as a filmmaker.

25:31 The book, by volume, is mostly concerned with, second,

25:35 the shooting of AVGN The Movie, and first,

25:39 the documentation and preservation of over two dozen home movies James

25:44 produced in the 1990s between the ages of 12 and 18.

25:48 James, from his own telling, draws a lot of energy from being the director,

25:53 which in the nebulous hierarchy of the playground is less

25:58 a creative visionary and more the child who leads the play.

26:03 These home movies, which James pointedly and explicitly calls films,

26:07 are, from their descriptions,

26:09 basically what you’d expect from a child let loose with a camcorder.

26:14 They’re improvisational, loose, unfocused, and shot in linear order.

26:20 In short, filmmaking as a form of play.

26:24 “Getting friends to act wasn’t easy.

26:26 Everyone was busy.

26:27 Next time I got some of them over was “Snix” (1993).

26:30 I quickly thought of a spontaneous story about an ancient warlock, Snix,

26:35 who died centuries ago but left behind a mask (made of paper and feathers).

26:39 In the present day, the mask is discovered and possesses

26:42 my friend with the warlock’s spirit when he puts it on.

26:45 He stalks me and tries to kill me.

26:47 We made up the plot as we went along,

26:49 but it was cut short when his mom called him home to dinner.

26:52 After that, I had to complete his scenes

26:55 by puppeteering the mask in close-ups only, and performing Snix’s voice myself.

27:00 Again, it was complete garbage, but it survived.

27:03 It’s my oldest existing movie to feature

27:05 live actors besides myself and has become, sort of, in a strange way,

27:10 a classic of mine.” His actors were whatever neighbours were available.

27:14 In spite of his pleas, the filming of “Dinomen from D4” (1994) rolled over

27:20 from Saturday into Sunday and had to be abandoned,

27:23 because his friends just didn’t want to do a second day.

27:27 “A Night of Total Terror” (1996) was the first

27:30 movie where James felt his friends wanted to be there.

27:33 It was, in his own words,

27:35 a blatant rip of Raider of the Lost Ark and The Maltese Falcon,

27:38 the MacGuffins of those films replaced with a cursed genie lamp.

27:43 His films eventually settle into a routine

27:45 of James hanging out with a few friends, making stuff they find fun.

27:49 James learned to treat the films with soft hands,

27:52 as his friends refused to learn lines, rarely respected continuity,

27:56 and occasionally would just overwrite the tape and destroy the footage.

28:01 This informed his style as a director.

28:04 James says he likes to work in small crews,

28:07 treating actors as “close personal friends”, and encouraging them to improvise.

28:12 This informal style, where productions are measured in hours rather than days,

28:17 and the enjoyment of the actors is given priority,

28:20 was well suited to the Angry Video Game Nerd series.

28:23 Mike could goof around to make James laugh,

28:26 and it would translate well to YouTube.

28:29 But the AVGN Movie exposed the flaws in James’s filmmaking approach.

28:34 Union actors in Los Angeles don’t want to be the director’s friend,

28:39 and the shooting schedule of Snix Returns does not prepare

28:43 you for 28-days of principal photography for a feature film.

28:47 The AVGN Movie is, spiritually, just another home movie.

28:56 So, I may have misrepresented the book,

28:58 though maybe you already figured this out.

29:01 It’s bad.

29:02 But.

29:03 In the constellation of awful YouTuber autobiographies,

29:05 which range from shamelessly improvisational

29:07 to active attempts to obfuscate crime, A Movie Making Nerd doesn’t really rank.

29:13 It’s not that kind of bad.

29:15 But it is also impressively self-destructive.

29:18 As I went through its pages I found myself tempted

29:21 to make sweeping claims about how James sees the world, how he sees himself,

29:24 but stopped when I realized that I couldn’t tell

29:27 the difference between statements that implied a total lack of self-reflection,

29:31 a mind that still held juvenile opinions 20 years after

29:34 the fact as sincerely as the day they were first formed, and the weak writing.

29:38 Large swaths of the book are very basic in their construction,

29:42 pages of paragraphs of six to seven word subject verb sentences.

29:46 Page 146: The most fun class was acting.

29:47 The instructor was very serious about it.

29:50 He was like a drill sergeant.

29:52 Page 228: The fans take an active role in the movie.

29:54 They’re the ones requesting the Nerd to review the game.

29:57 I think that’s a great thing.

29:59 The fans helped create the idea for this movie.

30:02 But my character, the Nerd, doesn’t want to review the game.

30:06 He feels pressured.

30:07 Page 96 Not all of the assignments were fun.

30:09 Some of them were rudimentary, like painting grey scales or color wheels.

30:13 All were tedious, messy, and basic.

30:15 Some of the textbook classes required writing boring essays to explain

30:19 “why time is like a grain of sand.” In other words,

30:22 do your best to come up with some[ __].

30:25 Over 430 words are dedicated to a failed location scout for a boiler room set

30:30 during the filming of AVGN the Movie that could be funny if it were well told,

30:34 could be a trivial event that details a state of mind or just elicits a chuckle,

30:39 but is delivered with the narrative intensity of a grocery list.

30:43 I don’t doubt that the book is a reasonably accurate accounting

30:47 of factual events more or less in the order that they occurred,

30:52 and that it contains certain insights into James,

30:55 his life, his way of thinking, and his relationship with himself,

31:01 but at the same time I don’t think it can really be trusted for much else.

31:06 It is not a bad thing that it was self-published,

31:09 but it is a keenly present thing.

31:12 It is self-serving, as all autobiographies are, but equally self-destructive.

31:18 The portrait painted by the book is one

31:21 of a stagnant man with limited capacity to self-reflect,

31:24 a poor understanding of how and why things happened the way they did,

31:29 and a general lack of curiosity.

31:32 A Movie Making Nerd compels us

31:34 to conceptualise James not as a revolutionary YouTuber,

31:38 but as a failed filmmaker.

31:42 James Rolfe, the main character of the book,

31:44 reflects back on university two decades after the fact and seemingly

31:48 has no new insights into what his instructors were trying to impart.

31:52 There are no lessons that were obnoxious

31:54 in the moment but made sense years later,

31:57 there is no appreciation for the exposure to cross-disciplinary fundamentals,

32:02 nothing to suggest that being made to draw basic household objects with the cold

32:07 precision of a draftsman gave him

32:10 an appreciation for the geometry of camera optics,

32:13 no reflection that being made to write about film as art, as metaphor,

32:19 gave him tools that he has called on in his nearly

32:24 twenty year career as the host of a show deconstructing creative works.

32:31 He tells a story about a technical exercise in his first year of university,

32:36 an assignment meant to familiarize students with the basic operation of the 16mm

32:42 Bolex cameras that were standard film student tools of the day,

32:46 that he hijacked in order to remake A Night of Total Terror.

32:52 His own framing of the story makes him look like an egomaniac.

32:57 The assignment is to simply use the camera successfully,

33:01 to create an image of literally anything.

33:04 James pitches an elaborate shoot with costumes and lighting.

33:08 The instructor kindly explains that it’s not that kind of assignment.

33:14 James says he found the assignment annoying at the time,

33:19 but on reflection it was really valuable.

33:22 Because it taught him to stand up for himself.

33:25 Because he ignored the instructions,

33:27 showed up on the day with a box full of halloween costumes,

33:31 and hijacked the entire class

33:34 and the instructor just kinda caved because, whatever.

33:40 It’s not entirely clear from the book,

33:42 but the implication is that he spent the entire time as the director,

33:47 no one else got a turn with the camera, they just got to be his actors.

33:54 he let me have my way coaching me through

33:57 the bulky 16 millimeter technicalities but letting me shoot my little

34:00 narrative as intended directing a room full of 20 students

34:03 gave me a positive Rush the energy and excitement was high

34:07 and nobody here was goofing around like some of my younger

34:11 experiences here they were all 100% Cooperative it made me

34:16 feel like a director It’s a heartwarming story about how

34:20 if you just ignore the instructions and disregard your peers you,

34:24 too, can get to feel important for an afternoon!

34:27 He would then re-make A Night of Total Terror again

34:31 in Junior year,his third crack at the story by my count,

34:34 the cursed skull being replaced with a cursed cat statue.

34:38 Seemingly every movie James makes revolves

34:41 around an inanimate object that’s either cursed, alive, or cursed and alive.

34:47 A conspicuous chunk end with the protagonist being

34:51 pursued by a demonic doll or action figure.

34:56 He just..

34:57 He keeps remaking movies he made when he was a literal child!

35:03 If not remakes then sequels!

35:05 There are six Snix movies!

35:07 His most recent crack at something not AVGN related was The Head Returns,

35:13 a 20-year-later sequel to a home movie he made in high school!

35:18 And it ends with James being chased by a haunted doll!

35:23 Boring anecdotes are interspersed with bizarre claims that seem rooted

35:27 entirely in an understanding of the world that calcified decades ago.

35:32 Speaking of high school James states that in 1997 he got into “the kind

35:38 of music you don’t hear as much on the radio” like Metallica.

35:43 Metallica.

35:47 Metallica in 1997 was one of the biggest bands in the world,

35:52 every weirdo nerd our age had a Metallica phase in the mid 90s,

35:58 I had a Metallica phase in the mid 90s.

36:01 Just to seal the absurdity James name drops King Nothing,

36:05 a top 10 single on the US hot 100 from an album that was

36:10 number one in eighteen countries in a decade where people still bought albums.

36:15 If you wanted to communicate the irony of a character in a film,

36:19 someone with a self-mythology of outsider status

36:23 while ultimately being no less in step

36:26 with extremely mainstream tastes you would

36:29 drape the character in a Metallica t-shirt.

36:33 An editor would have caught this immediately.

36:36 The actual substance of the book is largely a chronological

36:40 catalogue of over two dozen of James’ home movies,

36:43 many of which are sequels and outright remakes of his own prior movies.

36:47 In a roundabout way this, actually,

36:50 seems to have been the original impetus behind writing the book,

36:54 or at least one of the books that became this book.

36:59 There’s evidence scattered throughout that large chunks

37:02 of the book are lightly adapted from contemporary documents.

37:07 Though by evidence I really mean James basically says it outright on page 150.

37:12 “Now the trauma has long faded, just as the VHS tapes have deteriorated.

37:17 I never digitized or preserved them,

37:19 since the tapes have no purpose to me outside of the college circle.

37:23 This text is the final preservation,

37:24 which I first wrote down while the incidents were still fresh in my mind.

37:28 It was the catalyst that made me want to write a book in the first place.

37:32 Sure it took decades to finish and publish,

37:36 but those decades have given me plenty to add.” This is… weird, right?

37:44 The admission that this “was the catalyst that made me want to write a book

37:49 in the first place” and that that catalyst was still an animating force in 2019?

37:54 That you’re just adding stuff to something you started two decades earlier?

38:00 Is this autobiography legitimately a project he began in 2002,

38:05 long before the days of his public success,

38:10 and uncritically picked up sixteen years later and just

38:16 started tacking more on to as though the Snix sextology,

38:21 getting suspended for an academic year,

38:24 and launching one of the most influential

38:28 YouTube channels ever are all equally weighted events?

38:33 The trauma he’s referring to is an episode

38:35 that consumes much of the middle of the book.

38:38 Over fifty pages, about a sixth of the volume,

38:41 are dedicated to James getting kicked out of university at the end

38:45 of his first year due to a whole chain of events where

38:49 he had these roommates who were trashing their dorm room and he

38:54 began taping them “documentary style” so they began performing for the camera,

38:59 escalating their behaviour, and then at the end of the year James took

39:03 all the tapes he had of them lighting trash on fire,

39:07 putting holes in the walls, and throwing things out the windows,

39:12 and cut it all into a pseudo documentary which

39:15 he sent copies of to the few other people involved,

39:19 and one of these copies made its way to the dean, who expelled them all.

39:25 The entire episode isn’t completely devoid of accountability,

39:29 he does at times express some remorse for, well, mostly his inactions,

39:35 but these statements are seemingly stapled on, with the vast majority

39:41 of the event is talked about as unfair accusations and guilt by association,

39:46 a thing that was done to him, and he even speculates that the school

39:52 was deliberately malicious in their timing,

39:55 as the letters of expulsion didn’t arrive until

39:58 too late in the summer to appeal before registration.

40:01 He insists throughout that he was just a bystander,

40:04 and doesn’t really contend with the fact that if you point a camera at someone,

40:09 and they turn to the camera and go “check

40:13 this out” before jump-kicking a light fixture until it explodes,

40:18 you are a participant.

40:20 But is all this an expression of a True James, or just bad writing?

40:28 Is self-reflection absent because James doesn’t experience it,

40:33 or is it merely his weakness as a storyteller?

40:37 Is it the lack of an editor to point

40:40 out that he’s ultimately just talking to himself?

40:42 To tell him his emotions, however deeply felt, aren’t making it onto the page?

40:49 The way he talks about unfinished home movies

40:52 from when he was 12 is just really weird,

40:55 because he treats them as completed objects

40:58 that are of the same stuff as everything else.

41:02 AVGN the movie (2014) and Crazy Carnage (1996),

41:07 the sequel to Mighty Joe Rampage (1996),

41:10 left unfinished when the camera battery died, are not strictly treated as equal,

41:16 but it’s insane that they’re being compared at all.

41:20 I keep coming back to Jame’s camera setup.

41:24 The longer I stared at the beast the more it consumed me.

41:29 What was going on?

41:32 Why was it?

41:34 Does he even know?

41:37 Maybe if I built it myself, if I held it in my hands, I could understand.

41:46 Is this the fruit of obsession?

41:48 Is this where compulsion takes us?

41:50 Are the damned and the damnable all doomed to wander to Home Depot?

41:56 Building something kinda the same isn’t enough.

42:00 A half-assed, cynical replica isn’t enough,

42:04 if you build it out of malice you inject it full of all your own prejudices,

42:09 it ends up bad for reasons you’ve created, and it tells you nothing.

42:16 James’ board is planed and square, so my board must be planed,

42:21 squared, and sanded, taken seriously, a good faith replica, not just a joke.

42:29 This thing is very strange to build, physically confounding at times.

42:33 Two strips of scrap wood and some three-inch carpentry screws hold

42:38 the fluid head in place by gripping a flange around the base,

42:42 a thing only possible because of the odd

42:46 profile of the Davis and Sanford FM18 fluid head.

42:49 I’ll admit that by the time my replica was

42:52 complete it felt more secure than I’d assumed from photos,

42:55 but simultaneously precarious.

42:57 I didn’t think it was at risk of spontaneous self-destruction,

43:01 but still there’s a looming sense that I shouldn’t push my luck.

43:07 My screws had already started to bend during the tightening,

43:11 so done was pretty much done.

43:13 The thing I struggled with from the very beginning,

43:16 the thing my brain chafed against like cheap khaki, is that the end goal here,

43:22 a camera head mounted to a board,

43:25 isn’t some far off concept, isn’t some radical use case:

43:30 it’s a thing the thing is already made for, already designed to do.

43:36 Thousands of commenters saw this build and knew,

43:40 immediately, intuitively, that it wasn’t right,

43:43 but plowing through the comments and the commentary of the assholish variety,

43:48 seemingly none of them knew why:

43:50 that the head already has a hole in the bottom for a bolt.

43:54 You can take the lumber and just drill a hole in it.

43:58 In the industry it’s called a low hat.

44:01 Cardelini will sell you one made out of anodized aluminum for almost $600,

44:05 but these aren’t very popular.

44:08 Everybody knows you can get away with $10 of wood and bolts.

44:13 It’s so simple, so straightforward, that I can’t stop making them.

44:19 I keep drilling holes in wood and bolting camera heads to them.

44:24 The thing that’s confounding about it is that this is low-budget filmmaking.

44:30 Like, that’s James’ thing, right?

44:34 Scrappy, low-budget filmmaking, practical effects,

44:37 all the movie magic that can be worked with styrofoam,

44:42 hot glue, some plywood, and a drill?

44:46 So why are his low-budget rigs so… bad?!

44:57 I have been watching Angry Video Game Nerd episodes for days now

45:02 in a tsunami of diarrhea and nostalgia for games I never played as a child.

45:09 I find myself at times uncertain about what it is that I’m actually watching.

45:15 Maybe some of the beauty of internet videos is that it demolished a lot

45:20 of corporate ideas about what genres are and what a show looks and sounds like;

45:25 we now have so many things that never could have existed

45:29 in a framework of network television

45:31 where someone needed to describe their vision

45:34 to a fifty year old man in a suit who hasn’t watched

45:38 TV since he was twelve and convince him to pay for it.

45:43 AVGN is one of those things.

45:46 It is, across time, formulaic,

45:49 but ultimately very loose with its structure and identity,

45:53 and the longer I think on it the less I believe that it’s even a review show.

46:00 I’m probably not the first person to notice

46:02 this, and maybe I’m even late to the party, but it occurs to me now,

46:06 as I psychologically wade hip-deep thought buffalo turds,

46:10 that AVGN is at its heart a skit show that uses

46:14 the premise of video game reviews as little more than a framing device,

46:19 and as such there’s scant allegiance to the games themselves.

46:23 But even that’s not entirely true because that would

46:27 suggest a level of consistency that doesn’t exist.

46:31 Really it would seem that the show is both review and skit in whatever

46:37 ratio James and his co-writers are compelled by at the time of writing,

46:42 though it’s unclear to what extent they are aware of that about themselves.

46:47 The game serves as fodder for jokes and skits,

46:51 and the videos are rarely a comprehensive overview of the subject because they

46:56 just kinda work the material until they’ve got a video worth of stuff.

47:02 It is what it needs to be in order to exist,

47:07 the Nerd was never a sincere expression of James’ obsessions,

47:11 the Nerd was always a character,

47:14 the critiques are as authentic or performative as is convenient.

47:20 Superficially the membrane of performance makes

47:23 AVGN useless as insight into James,

47:27 but the hitch is that James just isn’t a good

47:31 enough writer to divest himself fully from the end product,

47:34 to write wholly and organically in the voice and mind of The Nerd.

47:40 The way that James talks about Wavelength,

47:43 both in the book and in a standalone video as himself,

47:48 is largely indistinguishable from the way

47:51 that the Nerd would talk about Wavelength.

47:54 Wavelength is long, it’s grating, it’s abrasive, it’s boring,

47:58 it doesn’t make any sense, there’s no story!

48:02 They tease you with a dead body but then nothing happens!

48:05 It’s just a picture of some waves on the wall!

48:08 Is that why it’s called wavelength?

48:10 The length of time it takes to get to some waves?

48:18 Why would they do this, what were they thinking?!

48:33 I feel a certain amount of kinship with James Rolfe.

48:36 We’re basically the same age, we both went to film school,

48:40 and we both ultimately found ourselves making videos about media for YouTube.

48:44 We both have an enduring interest in the aesthetics of old media,

48:48 be it VHS camcorders or vintage video games.

48:52 And we both feel the pressure of creation,

48:55 the sense that there’s just never enough time

48:58 to do everything we want to get done.

49:01 better known as The Angry Video Game Nerd James

49:03 has this behind the-scenes video that I can't stop

49:06 thinking about AVGN behind the scenes in nerd room

49:10 tour 2021 there's just so much going on with it

49:14 there's a light stand suspended from the ceiling

49:16 with craft wire a it's not all weird though

49:19 James has all his studio lights on the same

49:22 power bar so he can turn the whole setup on and off at the same time a kind

49:27 of obvious yet still clever trick that inspired me

49:30 to rewire the lights that I have over

49:32 my workbench so so I've got this idea the video

49:35 ends the video ends with James cataloging a Litany

49:38 of reasons why he doesn't have as much time for AVGN as he used to In addition

49:43 to this behind the scenes video James has an autobiography,

49:46 A Movie Making Nerd, which he self-published in 2022.

49:49 These glimpses James allows into his private life have

49:52 become the locus of an entire para-audience of hate watchers,

49:56 the Cinemassacre truthers,

49:57 who have memified and dissected them to truly bizarre levels

50:01 of hostility and entitlement that I don’t particularly care to fully unwind.

50:07 It’s the usual soup of in jokes piled on in jokes piled on in jokes.

50:12 Almost as compelling as Rolfe himself is this community that swirls around him,

50:17 seemingly offended by his continuing existence,

50:20 though they will absolutely take offence

50:23 to that characterization and insist that they’re not hateful,

50:26 fatphobic misogynists, they’re just too edgy for woke soyboys,

50:30 and it is merely their unwavering commitment to free

50:33 speech that compels them to allow the hateful,

50:36 fatphobic misogynists to stick around.

50:38 You know the song and dance.

50:40 Thing is, though, that Cinemassacre broadly has

50:43 provided them with a lot of red meat.

50:45 Mike Matei who handled moderation of the studio social presence for years is

50:49 kind of an edgy[ __] himself who would pick fights go on aimless

50:55 banning sprees and other misbehavior he once posted a photo of a penis

50:59 not necessarily his penis but certainly framed to imply that it was his penis

51:04 to his Twitter account to win a literal dick measuring contest with rowdy

51:08 commenters in the shame-soaked aftermath he

51:10 tried to scrub this event from history and as the moderator of the cinemas

51:15 subreddit went on a Banning spree there which

51:17 led to the formation of the splinter

51:20 sub The Cinemassacre Truth As production of AVGN:

51:23 the movie dragged on through 2013 and 2014 James contracted

51:27 with multi-channel-network Screenwave to manage more of the channel’s back end.

51:32 Now, okay, in the book James mentions that he has not,

51:35 in fact, made his millions, that during the time where AVGN was at its peak

51:41 cultural relevance their ability to monetize that success was pretty spotty.

51:45 Their relationship with YouTube, as a platform, wasn’t the best,

51:49 and while they were able to be grandfathered into the now long-defunct

51:54 Director program and retain their ability

51:56 to post videos longer than ten minutes,

51:58 they weren’t in the first, or even second,

52:01 or even third wave of channels admitted to the Partner program.

52:05 Merchandising, the publication contract with Game Trailers,

52:08 and various one-off contracts provided an income that made

52:12 AVGN viable as a job, but James claims, and I’m inclined to believe,

52:17 that this did not manifest as the kind of wealth drawn in by the likes of Smosh,

52:23 Shane Dawson, and other early YouTube contemporaries.

52:26 James is justifiably proud of AVGN: the movie,

52:29 a film that by all rights shouldn’t exist, that should have fallen apart,

52:33 that very well could have ruined the channel,

52:36 ruined his finances for the rest of his life,

52:40 ruined his marriage, and ruined his friendships.

52:42 A lot of people helped make the movie, but very few championed it.

52:48 AVGN: the movie, for all its faults,

52:50 isn’t the product of a miracle, it’s the product of James Rolfe.

52:56 And it nearly destroyed him.

53:12 So I have this theory that in 2014,

53:14 when the movie did not manifest greener pastures,

53:17 when James realized that he kinda hated making movies at that scale,

53:21 loaded up on credit card debt from finishing the movie,

53:24 someone at Screenwave said “we can fix your monetization problems.” Because what

53:30 follows in 2015 through 2022 is just an absolute frenzy of content.

53:35 Podcasts, clip compilations, panel shows,

53:37 round tables, vlogs, full season videos,

53:40 basically every form of content possible that could either be

53:44 offloaded entirely to an outside editor or would otherwise maximize efficiency,

53:48 stuff that takes an hour to record and forty minutes to edit.

53:52 Cinemassacre goes from publishing a little over one video per

53:55 week in 2013 to publishing five videos a week in 2017.

54:00 In order to facilitate this a new cast of hosts appear very suddenly,

54:05 Screenwave employees who are already on the clock and don’t have

54:09 scheduling conflicts or other jobs that they would need to work around,

54:13 to do a podcast and two panel shows a week.

54:17 People who are convenient.

54:19 Cinemassacre, through Screenwave,

54:20 became visibly extremely corporate extremely quickly, and remember:

54:25 James doesn’t see the channel as “the Angry Video Game Nerd”,

54:29 he sees it as Cinemasscare the production house.

54:33 So while this transition made sense to him, it made less sense to his fans,

54:37 since all of these secondary videos would show up in their subscriptions,

54:42 not just AVGN videos.

54:43 When you see the channel has a panel

54:46 show where James is only an occasional guest,

54:48 the narrative of a corporate takeover, of James “selling out”, writes itself.

54:55 But, like, none of this would matter if it were good.

54:58 If the podcast is entertaining no one’s going to care that Justin and Kieran

55:02 and Ryan suddenly show up out of nowhere or that James isn’t the main focus.

55:07 But it’s not good, because these dudes they bring

55:10 in are a void of charisma with basically no on-screen chemistry.

55:15 Because the reason they’re there is convenience.

55:20 recently I took the old website and I

55:23 made a big document of every single article

55:26 that was on the old website and what YouTube video or it goes to or whether

55:33 that video is like lost and we would have to get it from the sources so

55:37 I have this like huge map and I gave it to Justin and Kieran and all

55:41 of them and they're going to start

55:43 digging through that or having someone dig through

55:46 that and start uploading some of the old

55:48 stuff like the uh like all the turtle Tuesdays

55:51 and all of all of that stuff the goal forgot about those cuz all the WordPress

55:56 stuff and stuff the goal is to get

55:58 monster man that's on there fully and finalized Also,

56:01 like, James just isn’t very good at spontaneous conversation,

56:04 he’s not a strong podcast host, but he’s the star of this show,

56:09 he’s the person people are tuning in for, which

56:12 makes a chatty podcast format a really bad choice.

56:16 It’s a product showing the star of the show in the worst light possible.

56:22 Then there’s James’ dad rock band, Rex Viper.

56:24 Named after a joke character from the Big Rigs:

56:27 Over The Road Racing episode of AVGN,

56:30 Rex Viper is so insubstantial a project that it

56:34 would barely merit mentioning if it weren’t for the fact

56:36 that James and James alone seems to take it

56:40 really seriously and talks about it like it’s important.

56:44 The sum total of Rex Viper is two live performances

56:47 and four music videos for parody songs that are just songs

56:51 from 80s movies with the lyrics sometimes retooled to throw in video

56:55 game references or the instrumentation altered to mix in game themes.

57:00 Eye of the Tiger Electronics.

57:02 Mighty Wings and Hadoukens.

57:04 Nintendo Power of Love.

57:06 I’m gonna be honest, I hate this entire genre,

57:09 I am the last person to give it a fair shake, so I’m just going to move on.

57:14 All of this is easy pickings for truthers:

57:17 whether it be the cringe or the cynicism there’s a lot here to make fun of.

57:22 Truthers even have a name for all it!

57:25 The Slobwave era!

57:26 Get it?!

57:27 Because Justin Silverman is fat and Keiran

57:29 Fallon has that heavy metal look going on.

57:32 Ultimately, though, no matter what

57:34 the Cinemassacre Truth might be accurate about,

57:36 it’s all just a vehicle for ableism,

57:40 fatphobia, sexism, transphobia, and, like, they’re chan trolls,

57:44 it’s not that deep, they are in fact just haters.

57:48 They have a particular hate boner for James’ wife,

57:50 April, for reasons that are complicated, but not complex.

57:53 They’ll frame it that James was dragged kicking

57:56 and screaming from his basement because she wanted kids.

57:59 They cast James as a henpecked husband whose career was derailed by a woman.

58:05 This flies in the face of both everything James has ever said,

58:09 and also just observable reality.

58:11 James and April were together before the first AVGN episode hit

58:14 YouTube- there is no Garden of Eden for Eve to tarnish.

58:19 April has been here the whole time.

58:21 During the filming of AVGN: The Movie she moved with James to LA for six

58:26 months and took on the role of production manager.

58:29 If the movie had one champion it was James, if it had a second it was April.

58:36 But because he describes her as giving him an “ultimatum”

58:38 about having kids they are able to depict it as browbeating,

58:42 vilifying April as a nagging shrew who uses their children

58:45 as a chain to keep James from realizing his ambitions,

58:49 as though it is preposterous on its face that James

58:53 might honestly prefer fatherhood to making videos for the internet.

58:57 One time James and Mike sat down to record a let’s play,

59:00 and James had somewhere he needed to be,

59:03 to pick up his kids from swim lessons or something,

59:06 which gave him a hard out of 5:40 if he was going to get there on time.

59:11 5:40 came and went, James started to visibly panic when he noticed the time,

59:16 and wound up leaving rather ungracefully before

59:19 finishing the LP later in the evening, alone.

59:22 let's break it all right well anyway it we just ran out

59:26 of time because I have to be done at 5:40 right now

59:29 and so what's going to happen is exactly 540 next time you

59:33 see this James is going to beat this on his own uh

59:36 without me cuz the way we record so yeah okay just

59:40 to make it clear again what happened was that we ran out

59:46 of time truthers have clung to 5:40 as a meme ever since

59:51 these are what James describes as comments of an assholish variety And really,

59:57 the thing with the 2021 behind the scenes video,

59:59 the odd texture of the whole thing,

1:00:02 isn’t that it’s partially a response to these comments, but that all of it is.

1:00:07 That’s the animating force behind it, that’s the reason why it exists.

1:00:11 It’s not a behind the scenes room tour for the sake of easy content,

1:00:16 it’s an explanation, a defence.

1:00:18 As a room tour it’s bad, James bounces from odd detail to odd detail,

1:00:24 spends tremendous amounts of time outlining problems,

1:00:27 and the whole of it is a weird

1:00:30 and nearly incomprehensible level of honesty about his bespoke inefficiencies,

1:00:34 but all because it’s a defence of Screenwave, a defence of his wife,

1:00:40 a defence of his children, and a defence of his priorities in life.

1:00:59 So why doesn’t James have enough time anymore?

1:01:03 What’s he spending his time doing if not making AVGN?

1:01:07 I don’t know and I honestly don’t particularly care.

1:01:11 If AVGN has declined in some spiritual way it’s not

1:01:16 because James isn’t grinding away with burnout-inducing 16 hour days.

1:01:20 In watching through all 52 hours of Nerd videos in reverse

1:01:24 chronological order I’m not even convinced

1:01:26 that there is some calculable decline.

1:01:28 Maybe this is to its detriment,

1:01:30 but the show has always been spotty and kinda ragged

1:01:34 at the edges and it has remained incredibly consistent in that zone.

1:01:40 Maybe the format is just dated, YouTube has left AVGN behind,

1:01:45 maybe the audience is just aging out,

1:01:48 maybe James lacks ambition or he’s just out of ideas.

1:01:52 Hell, maybe it is his wife and kids “getting in the way” of the show.

1:01:57 But here’s my hot take on that: that’s fine.

1:02:00 The Angry Video Game Nerd is not a load bearing pillar of reality,

1:02:05 it’s a YouTube sketch comedy, it doesn’t need to exist.

1:02:11 I do not know James Rolfe, but in this I feel confident:

1:02:14 James Rolfe loves his wife and kids and they are his top priority.

1:02:19 The best written parts of his autobiography, by a substantial margin,

1:02:23 are the stories about the challenging births of his two daughters,

1:02:27 and how he discovered that he really, really enjoys being a father.

1:02:32 His mistake was to share that fact

1:02:35 with an audience too immature to comprehend it.

1:02:37 No, not just too immature.

1:02:40 An audience patently unwilling to comprehend it.

1:02:44 Probably the most baffling mistake James has made is

1:02:47 assume that his haters are here to be persuaded.

1:02:51 “Do you want me to suffer?” Yeah, James, they kinda do.

1:02:56 But, still, like, mistakes have been made.

1:03:01 Like, what’s the point of having a company to handle

1:03:04 all this stuff if James is going to make a video where he tries to do his own PR

1:03:10 response to his haters by showing off his janky DIY rigging?

1:03:15 Why employ editors if they’re going to leave

1:03:18 in the footage where he has a humiliating panic attack?

1:03:22 Part of what is so transfixing in all of this is this parade of contradictions,

1:03:28 that from the outside there are these very visible,

1:03:31 very public decisions being made,

1:03:33 but those decisions aren’t producing the intended results.

1:03:38 Even without access to their actual back end I can

1:03:41 say that massively increasing the channel output absolutely improved revenue:

1:03:45 even if the podcasts and whatnot under performed there’s just so many of them,

1:03:51 it is on net hundreds of millions of views,

1:03:55 but what good is that if it damages the brand?

1:03:59 What’s the point of doing damage control at all

1:04:07 if it just raises a million more questions?

1:04:14 In a spiritual sense James has trapped himself on the couch:

1:04:18 his access to the capital resources needed

1:04:21 for larger projects is dwindling and his sensibilities

1:04:24 as a filmmaker are too myopic to appeal to an audience that isn’t humouring him,

1:04:30 telling him that Rex Viper is cute and they’re just glad he’s having fun.

1:04:35 In a more literal sense James has trapped himself

1:04:38 on the couch because the room is just too small.

1:04:42 I had heard this before, but I find that just saying it or looking at frame

1:04:46 grabs doesn’t do justice to the realities of physical space,

1:04:50 so I did the thing any normal person would do

1:04:54 and built a 1:12 scale diorama of the nerd room.

1:04:57 He needs to haphazardly hang things from the ceiling

1:05:01 and build franken-low-hats because when he moved

1:05:04 house in 2016 he had Kyle build a replica

1:05:07 of the Nerd basement in the new garage,

1:05:10 so that the new basement could be dedicated to a fake video rental store,

1:05:15 but Kyle, whose day job is renovating houses, built the room as an actual room,

1:05:20 not as a set with accommodation for the needs of recording,

1:05:25 and for reasons I can only speculate on the set is only eight feet wide.

1:05:31 I dunno, maybe the rest of the garage is

1:05:34 a workshop or they needed it to still fit a car, I really truly don’t know.

1:05:40 It would feel cramped just as a rec room but as a film set it’s claustrophobic,

1:05:48 there’s nowhere for the stands to go.

1:05:52 And, okay, now, every film set is crowded with junk,

1:05:55 every film set is a jungle of stands and tripods

1:05:58 and apple boxes and lens boxes and lights on standby,

1:06:02 but this tightens things down to a point where you

1:06:06 just can’t get in and out without stepping over everything,

1:06:09 it becomes a game of parkour just to change a battery,

1:06:14 and when you’re working mostly alone that gets frustrating really fast,

1:06:18 and when you get frustrated you get impulsive,

1:06:21 and those impulses lead to half measure solutions,

1:06:24 and those half measure solutions accumulate

1:06:27 into a whole network of bespoke inefficiencies

1:06:31 that you just live with because the process

1:06:37 of unravelling them feels just so… big.

1:06:42 It was in the finishing touches of James’ low hat that it began to make sense.

1:06:48 Screwing on a bubble level did something to it, transformed it.

1:06:52 It was still janky, it was still inexplicable, but I suddenly cared for it,

1:06:57 no longer saw it as just a heap of scrap stapled together for a bit.

1:07:02 It’s still a bad solution, it still looks,

1:07:05 visibly, like a bad solution, but it felt personal.

1:07:09 I could imagine myself as James,

1:07:13 self-conceptualizing as not an indie filmmaker but a backyard filmmaker,

1:07:19 a kid with no resources but what he can scrounge out of the garage,

1:07:24 and this felt far more homogenous with that than

1:07:29 with any other James I had considered so far.

1:07:33 In 2010 James posted a autobiographical

1:07:35 documentary called The Dragon in My Dreams.

1:07:37 James tells a story of a recurring nightmare he had as a child,

1:07:41 being born down on by this massive dragon,

1:07:44 an image that he connects to a dragon-shaped water feature

1:07:47 in a neighbourhood park his parents took him to as a toddler.

1:07:51 For the video James, with friend Matt behind the camera,

1:07:53 visits the park on the day it just so happens that workers are

1:07:57 removing the dragon from the spot where it’s sat for thirty some odd years.

1:08:02 In voice over he reflects on his childhood,

1:08:04 on the imagery of the dragon, on the then-upcoming milestone of turning thirty,

1:08:08 and holding back tears he takes a knee beneath the dragon

1:08:12 and avows himself to the path of the filmmaker while

1:08:15 the dude who was working the jackhammer stands just off screen

1:08:19 having a quick smoke as these two guys do their thing.

1:08:23 It’s all kinda cringe,

1:08:24 a truly elemental example of pretentious, self-important film-school pap,

1:08:28 but whatever, let he who is without cringe throw the first stone.

1:08:33 The conclusion of the video is muddled,

1:08:35 just kinda wanders between a few different ideas,

1:08:38 but the intent is clear: it’s a reflection on just how far James has come,

1:08:43 and an aspiration of just how far he has to go,

1:08:46 a phase of his life coming to an end just

1:08:49 as conclusively as this dragon being torn out and replaced.

1:08:53 That metaphor crumbles to bitter ash when you

1:08:55 realize that the dragon didn’t really go anywhere,

1:08:58 it was displaced all of thirty feet,

1:09:00 from sitting inside the water fountain to standing

1:09:03 beside the gate of Fox Chase playground.

1:09:05 In a way The Dragon in My Dreams is itself a brutal metaphor for Jame’s career:

1:09:10 James is a calcified dragon whose films have

1:09:14 barely changed between high school and middle age,

1:09:17 uprooted from VHS and transplanted thirty feet away in HD.

1:09:22 I think about James every day now,

1:09:24 every time I have to step over something that’s in a bad position,

1:09:28 every time I need to get something off a shelf

1:09:31 but there’s stands or tripods or boxes in the way.

1:09:34 Every stack of books, every lens without a home,

1:09:36 every camera bag left on the couch for weeks on end, every clamp, every cable,

1:09:41 every stray roll of tape has become an accusing presence in my life,

1:09:45 a bespoke inefficiency that I can stare directly at and yet never fully escape.

1:09:51 What if the problem is me?

1:09:54 James hasn’t moved, I’ve moved.

1:09:57 AVGN is what it’s always been.

1:09:59 The truthers claiming that the show is bad

1:10:02 now are getting spooked by their own shadows: the show is what it’s always been.

1:10:07 It isn’t bad now but good in the past, you’re just older.

1:10:11 You’re not seeing a titan of YouTube fallen from grace,

1:10:15 you’re seeing a man as immovable in his interests and habits as Atlas.

1:10:21 But, like, so what?

1:10:22 Would it even matter either way?

1:10:25 We don’t have the James Rolfe,

1:10:27 we have a crass homunculus of James constructed out of photons and wavelengths,

1:10:33 delivered to us through our screens,

1:10:35 a codex of symbols we can interpret but never fully know,

1:10:39 and in that void between the real and the perceived,

1:10:45 impose meaning, compelled by what we’ll never know.

1:10:53 Today we’re going back, we’re going Flashback.

1:10:56 Released in 1991, this game was available

1:10:59 for most consoles available at the time,

1:11:02 plus PC, but all I’ve got is the Super Nintendo version,

1:11:05 so that’s what we’re playing.

1:11:06 This was part of a trend of so-called “cinematic platformers”.

1:11:09 Many of these games are considered classics because

1:11:12 of the way they elevated games as an art form,

1:11:14 took it seriously, and confronted audiences with complex, sober stories.

1:11:18 They weren’t just reflex-based arcade games where

1:11:21 you hop on Goombas to rescue a princess, they told complex stories, like films.

1:11:27 So, will Flashback delight and astound, or will it put the ass back in classic?

1:11:33 Let’s find out.

1:11:34 It opens with a pretty impressive 3D cutscene that was

1:11:37 clearly intended for PC because the Super Nintendo is really struggling.

1:11:41 Still, many Super ports at the time would

1:11:43 have replaced these with a static slide show,

1:11:46 so the fact that they even tried to keep it is impressive.

1:11:49 Okay, so your character crash lands in the jungle with no

1:11:52 guidance on who you are or what you’re doing here.

1:11:54 Well, turns out that’s intended, your character has amnesia and needs to figure

1:11:58 out why he crash landed in the jungle.

1:12:00 The only thing you know is your name is Conrad.

1:12:03 The first thing you notice is that the animations are very smooth and lifelike,

1:12:07 because like Prince of Persia the developers

1:12:10 rotoscoped actual footage of actors walking and jumping.

1:12:12 This does lend the game a certain weight.

1:12:14 When you drop down off a ledge with your pistol

1:12:18 drawn and ice two mutants it feels super badass.

1:12:21 Yeah, take that you mutant [___]!

1:12:23 The second thing you notice is that the controls are ass!

1:12:26 Every time you push a button on the controller

1:12:29 Conrad takes one giant step forward, or jumps, or rolls,

1:12:33 or draws his gun, and you need to wait

1:12:35 for the whole animation to finish before you can do anything else.

1:12:39 And that’d be fine, but the game still has

1:12:42 tons of reflex-based obstacles that require very precise timing.

1:12:46 One of the very first challenges you’re given is jumping over this pit,

1:12:49 but to do it you need to start running on the previous screen,

1:12:52 and then enter the command to jump

1:12:53 before the new screen has even finished loading,

1:12:55 or you just run off the ledge into the pit below,

1:12:58 and then need to climb back out,

1:13:00 waiting a short eternity for Conrad to go through his lifelike,

1:13:04 cinematic animation every time.

1:13:06 Just like in cinema Conrad doesn’t have a life meter on screen.

1:13:09 Instead he has a personal shield that can absorb a certain number of shots.

1:13:13 Okay, so that’s health by a different name.

1:13:15 So to check your health you need to open your inventory

1:13:18 and cycle through everything you’re carrying

1:13:20 until you get to your shield module,

1:13:22 where it’ll tell you how many charges you have left.

1:13:24 Oh yeah, that’s cinematic.

1:13:26 Cinematic as dog farts!

1:13:28 Yeah, it turns out that in video games

1:13:30 “cinematic” is a code word for “[___].” Oh, the controls suck ass?

1:13:34 Just tell players it’s cinematic!

1:13:35 The story gives you no clues about where to go or what to do?

1:13:38 It’s cinema!

1:13:39 You eventually get to a giant pit that this shady [___]

1:13:41 tells you to jump into in order to get to New Washington.

1:13:44 At least he warns you that you’ll die if you jump without an anti-gravity belt,

1:13:48 which he offers to sell you for 600 credits.

1:13:51 Okay, so you need to go find some credits.

1:13:54 Fortunately there’s lots of them hidden around different areas of the jungle.

1:13:57 But here’s the thing, if you go out of your way to get all of them,

1:14:00 thinking they’ll be useful later, you’re wrong.

1:14:01 He doesn’t just take 600 credits, he takes all your credits!

1:14:05 He robs you!

1:14:06 Cinematic!

1:14:07 Anyway after you pay this lying [___] everything you

1:14:11 have Conrad jumps into the pit and enters level 2.

1:14:39 There’s nowhere to go!

1:14:41 There’s just three screens!

1:14:42 There’s nothing but an elevator down into a hole!

1:14:45 Sure, you can recharge your shields down there in the hole,

1:14:47 but it’s not going to get you anywhere!

1:14:49 It’s cinema!

1:14:50 You can jump up to this ledge, but it doesn’t go anywhere, either!

1:14:52 There’s this ledge that you can see, but it’s out of reach!

1:14:55 You just can’t jump high enough to reach it and pull yourself out!

1:14:58 This is your life now!

1:15:00 You’re trapped here on these three screens until you quit!

1:15:03 Anyway, what you need to do to progress is confront

1:15:05 your insecurities and accept that you’re not a filmmaker, either.

1:15:11 What did you say?

1:15:25 He's the angriest Gamer you've ever heard Assssss

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