Season 2’s Tensest Moments | Couples Therapy

0:00 This is exactly what I didn't want it to happen, and it's happened.

0:02 Which is?

0:04 This.

0:05 'Cause you projected it from the beginning.

0:07 No, wait.

0:07 wait.

0:07 No, I didn't project it.

0:08 Yes you did.

0:09 Wait, one second.

0:09 And I've been talking for weeks now about how

0:12 you're not happy in this relationship, and here you are.

0:15 You have to be pushed to the point where you come out with your true feelings.

0:19 [MUSIC PLAYING] How are you feeling?

0:24 MICHAL: Very, very angry.

0:27 I've enabled you to relax and enjoy your life for the last decade,

0:30 and now it's time for you to get up

0:32 off your ass and start doing something and stop relaxing.

0:35 Grow your damn law firm.

0:36 MICHAEL: I am working on that.

0:37 I haven't seen you do anything.

0:39 I feel so exhausted by this marriage.

0:41 Mmm hmm.

0:42 You know, it's like two people, and they're in the race.

0:45 And in order to get to the finish line,

0:46 they both have to— they both have to finish together, right.

0:49 It's relay race.

0:50 Like, you're— yeah, you're tied to each other.

0:51 Relay race.

0:52 And I feel like our marriage is that I am running with all my might.

0:56 I'm running as fast as I possibly can— And I'm dead weight.

0:59 And he's inching along, saying it's OK.

1:01 We'll get there.

1:02 [CHUCKLING] That has been our marriage, and I'm just tied to him.

1:04 Completely what I see right here— Yes.

1:07 Yes.

1:08 I see how hard you're working.

1:10 I get it.

1:13 Where are you?

1:15 He thinks it's hysterical.

1:16 No.

1:17 But you're still doing the work.

1:18 I'm just— I'm like— in times like this, I'm ready to just punch him in the face.

1:20 I'm thinking that if you are running

1:21 this three-legged race— But you're doing so much work.

1:24 And it's exhausting to me.

1:24 Let me do some work.

1:25 It's— stop it.

1:26 Why do you find this funny?

1:27 Why do you think I find this funny.

1:28 Sometimes I feel like I just hate him so much.

1:30 I can't stand being around him.

1:31 I'm sitting here and I want to get somewhere and I want to fix it,

1:35 and it's not as though I've sat back for the last

1:37 10 years of my marriage and said you know what.

1:39 I want more children.

1:40 So I'm just going to sit around on my ass

1:42 and eat bonbons and pop out kid after kid,

1:44 and you figure out a way to support them.

1:45 I've been there with him.

1:46 I've been doing everything that I need to do.

1:48 And what is he doing?

1:50 He's laughing.

1:50 He thinks that this is funny.

1:52 I'm so tired of it.

1:54 ORNA: I get it.

1:55 I get it.

1:59 MICHAL: It's like what is even the point.

2:01 What's the point?

2:03 Can you let me do some of the work and you relax?

2:08 [SNIFFLING] MICHAL: Yeah, OK.

2:11 So how are you feeling when Michal is saying these things?

2:16 She's not wrong.

2:17 Like, she's aware of the facts as well as I am.

2:19 ORNA: Mmm hmm.

2:20 Like, the reason I was chuckling was I was

2:23 imagining Michal running a three-legged race with my son,

2:26 and I could imagine her, like, dragging him along,

2:29 not caring that he was, like, crying.

2:31 And I feel like, yeah, I might lose the race if I ran with him,

2:35 but I think he'd enjoy it more.

2:38 It was more just like the absurdity struck me.

2:40 How— how do you feel when Michal is describing you as lazy,

2:47 unable to pull your weight?

2:51 I mean, that hurts.

2:52 ORNA: Exploiting her?

2:53 I don't think I'm lazy.

2:54 I think I work pretty hard.

2:55 How do you feel?

2:56 I don't like that it hurts her, but I do

3:00 like that she provokes me to do more and be better.

3:03 So there's something about this dynamic that's working for you.

3:06 MICHAEL: Right.

3:07 And that's probably unhealthy for me to just be like, well, that works for me.

3:10 What I'm trying to decipher is whether you're— ORNA: Yeah.

3:13 Sorry.

3:13 There's something about this kind of dynamic

3:17 of being provoked that is enjoyable,

3:20 pleasurable to you, or are you actually humiliated or both?

3:27 I wouldn't say that it's pleasurable.

3:29 I'd say that it's useful.

3:32 TASHIRA: As long as I hold a smile and I make it

3:37 seem as if everything's OK or I don't show any emotion whatsoever,

3:43 everything is good for him.

3:45 DRU: You know, if we're having a good week, don't wait 'til the end to tell me,

3:49 oh, well, I was just being quiet to keep you happy.

3:52 That's not what I said.

3:53 That's not what I'm saying.

3:54 She's not a good communicator, especially when something is bothering her.

3:58 ORNA: Mmm hmm.

3:59 So we should jump right in there and take an example.

4:03 OK.

4:04 So this morning, there was some stuff on the table, her paperwork or something.

4:09 It's been there for a couple of days, and now it's driving me nuts.

4:12 So instead of me saying anything negative, I bunched it up and smiled,

4:18 like, look what I put here for you.

4:21 It's been a couple days now,

4:23 and she threw something in my face about like when I do the laundry,

4:26 I fold it and you don't put it away right away.

4:29 Like, and that got me upset because

4:31 something so simple of just putting something away,

4:36 you know, why do you have to sit there and fight me?

4:39 Why does it have to get to a point of now we have to face off?

4:44 OK.

4:45 And then what happened?

4:46 DRU: So— TASHIRA: Then I grabbed the stuff,

4:48 I put it in the room, and I said, OK, I'm sorry.

4:50 I won't leave my things on the table anymore.

4:52 And then I went into the bathroom to continue to get ready for work,

4:55 and there he goes following me to say the same thing.

4:59 But I don't understand why you got so upset.

5:01 It's over with now, Dru.

5:03 She says it like, oh, I apologize, and he's still up my ass about it.

5:07 No.

5:08 The way she apologizes is basically a silent shut the fuck up.

5:14 Leave me alone.

5:15 Get out of my face.

5:16 ORNA: So I'm hearing on both of your ends you're

5:22 not really— not wanting to actually hear each other out.

5:30 Right?

5:32 I— I— I want to say that I want to hear her— like,

5:37 I want to know— I want to get down to the root.

5:39 Why— what makes you get that upset?

5:43 Like, what flipped the switch on you.

5:45 ORNA: OK, let's— let's try that.

5:47 Let's try that.

5:48 Why don't you ask Tashi?

5:49 OK, so what flips the switch.

5:52 Because when it comes to house things,

5:54 I have asked you a million times to do a lot of things, and you don't do them.

5:58 And I just gave up asking you.

6:01 OK.

6:03 Do I ever get upset like you do like you did this morning ORNA: Hold on.

6:08 Hold on.

6:08 When asking me to do something?

6:09 Did you get an answer?

6:11 All I got was that you do it, so it's OK for me to do it.

6:16 I heard a little more than that.

6:19 What else did you hear?

6:21 That basically I don't know why you're asking me to do this when

6:27 I asked you to do things and you made— and you don't do them.

6:31 That's why I was trying to imply.

6:32 Right, that there's some resentment,

6:35 that she's holding some resentment about trying to get you to do certain

6:41 things in the house that you haven't done that she wants you to do.

6:43 Yes.

6:43 Yeah.

6:44 So you got an answer.

6:47 What are you doing with that information?

6:53 I don't know.

6:54 I'm not sure you're actually processing it

6:57 as information as an answer to your question.

7:01 So do you actually have any interest

7:05 in learning new information from the other person,

7:08 or do you want to keep chewing on your resentments?

7:10 No.

7:12 I'm always trying to get down to the— the— the root.

7:14 You are not trying to get down to the root.

7:16 I'm— I would love to.

7:17 I— But you have the option right now, and you're not doing it.

7:21 Yeah.

7:22 ORNA: And I will ask Tashi to do the same thing for you.

7:26 How do you contribute to your conversations disintegrating?

7:33 I probably shut down, and I probably give him a bang, too.

7:40 Once he gives me a bang, I give him another bang.

7:42 Meaning?

7:44 TASHIRA: Meaning like if he'll say something that's insulting to me,

7:46 I'll just say something insulting back.

7:48 So a lot of retaliation?

7:50 TASHIRA: Yes.

7:53 But then if I bring it up, I mean, what am I supposed to do,

7:55 bring it up— bring it up at a separate time?

7:58 That would be very wise.

8:00 Yes, if you want to stop the cycle of retaliation

8:04 or this kind of ping pong, yeah, for sure.

8:12 How are you?

8:13 Good.

8:16 We better.

8:17 Don't you think?

8:18 Yeah, I feel like we're getting better.

8:23 In the— the last week, you know, we talked a lot.

8:27 I want to hear.

8:28 Well, because— OK, so we are planning a weekend away.

8:33 It's me, him, and two— two of our friends.

8:36 There's a group text.

8:38 Everyone's going back and forth, and there's no decision making.

8:41 Mmm hmm.

8:42 And— I was just really open to anything, you know.

8:45 Yeah, which is great.

8:46 Everyone's open to anything.

8:48 But we know that Matthew wants a plan.

8:52 You just have to have a plan.

8:53 ORNA: Mmm hmm.

8:54 For him, yeah.

8:55 You know, we talked about.

8:56 What do you mean for me?

8:57 No, you want everything planned the entire time we're gone.

9:00 Yeah, something needs to be decided on.

9:01 I mean— ORNA: Mmm hmm.

9:03 Wait, but I guess I don't understand where the tension is coming from.

9:06 What I feel like the true tension is really all about— ORNA: Yeah.

9:10 Yeah.

9:11 Is the stress of me being with him on a trip with his friends.

9:16 Meaning that Gianni's feeling like he's needing to manage you?

9:21 Right.

9:21 Do you think that's true.

9:22 Mmm hmm.

9:23 Yeah.

9:23 I think this is our first trip since you got sober.

9:29 ORNA: So it's a big deal— GIANNI: Yeah.

9:31 In a certain way.

9:32 So I want things to go— What does my sobriety

9:34 have anything to do with your stresses of this trip?

9:37 I mean, I just want you to— don't feel stressed— I don't know, like,

9:43 put you in a bad place, you know, like,

9:45 I want everybody to enjoy themselves and have a good time.

9:48 And me having to be in the middle, you know,

9:51 my— my boyfriend and my friends— I see,

9:53 so your boyfriend, your friends— GIANNI: And friends.

9:54 Yeah.

9:55 Uh huh.

9:56 So you're anxious.

9:57 Mmm hmm.

9:57 ORNA: Mmm.

9:59 Yeah.

10:00 OK, so everyone's anxious.

10:03 I know.

10:04 I think it truly is him being anxious, and it's, like, projecting on me.

10:09 It's very odd.

10:10 Well, Gianni's owning his anxiety.

10:12 He's saying he is anxious.

10:13 GIANNI: Yeah Matthew,

10:15 you're saying that what Gianni keeps projecting onto you is—

10:21 I guess that I don't bring anything to the table.

10:24 I don't— you know.

10:26 What is the thing that you don't bring to the table?

10:31 I think it's 'cause I'm, like, not the life of the party anymore,

10:36 that he has to step around me because Matthew's sensitive and he's sober.

10:45 And it just feels like a lot of pressure on Matthew to be this, you know,

10:51 this ideal person and that he wants me to be,

10:54 and I feel like I don't live up to that expectation.

10:58 ORNA: Gianni's very focused on your happiness and your well-being.

11:05 And I can understand that part of that feels like some kind of pressure on you.

11:11 But what I also see is that you're not

11:15 experiencing some of it as simple care for you.

11:17 I hear two different— completely two different things going on.

11:21 ORNA: Mmm hmm.

11:22 You have this compassion that you want to ensure this trip goes very smoothly,

11:28 but then you have this irritability going

11:32 on that revolves around me and planning and, you know,

11:39 wanting to do what Matthew wants to do.

11:42 So I just don't know.

11:43 I'm getting confused on which road we're on.

11:45 Like, are you compassionate, or are you irritable?

11:48 ORNA: It's not— but it's not either/or.

11:50 OK, so it's both.

11:52 ORNA: It's both.

11:53 I don't understand how this has to be so much work honestly.

11:55 For you.

11:56 Mediating.

11:57 Yeah.

11:57 I mean, just going away for the weekend, why it has to be so complicated.

12:02 'Cause there are four people.

12:04 MATTHEW: Yeah, I don't know why I said yes to this.

12:08 Do I say these things?

12:10 What?

12:11 I said I don't know why I said yes to this trip, but you're right.

12:14 ORNA: No, but that's normal four people to— GIANNI: I want—- What's normal?

12:17 GIANNI: I want to leave my boyfriend.

12:19 I mean, it feels like I don't have a boyfriend anymore.

12:22 ORNA: Because he's opting out.

12:23 OK, get— get back on track and say why you got irritated.

12:26 Let's get back to the point.

12:27 'Cause, see, 'cause I don't want this to happen.

12:29 ORNA: You— you— you did just say you're opting out.

12:34 But it's— you're putting something in there that Gianni's going to respond to.

12:39 From the beginning of this conversation,

12:41 I said you're projecting this Matthew is not going to be happy.

12:44 I've got to manage, Matthew.

12:47 ORNA: But what are you unhappy now about?

12:50 The whole thing.

12:52 I'm just not happy, no.

12:56 But now you're totally showing up for what Gianni was expecting.

13:03 How do you want this weekend to look?

13:07 It's real— it's really easy to look at all

13:09 of it and look for the thing that will

13:12 trigger your fear or your resentment or a memory

13:16 of something in the past that annoyed you.

13:18 It's very easy to do that, but what's available to you

13:22 are also really good things right there on the table.

13:26 I see them.

13:30 So what are you going to do with that?

13:34 I'm sure he's not gonna— ORNA: He's not gonna?

13:37 He's not going to go.

13:40 Yeah, you can always bolt and exit and— I know.

13:43 Take it the easy way.

13:45 ORNA: I don't know if it's the easy way.

13:47 It is.

13:48 It's a much easier way.

13:52 But then I'll get shit for that.

13:54 You should get shit for that.

14:00 I still have to find an excuse to give tomorrow.

14:03 For what?

14:04 For you not coming.

14:06 I'm going.

14:08 Yeah, but I don't want you to come and be like that.

14:11 No, you projected this from the beginning.

14:12 No, no, it's not.

14:13 This is like— No, no, no, you projected this.

14:15 This is exactly what I didn't want— Gianni, Gianni.

14:17 So I'm gonna manage it.

14:18 Let him be.

14:20 Let him be.

14:22 It's so much.

14:24 Oh, it's just so hard to manage me.

14:26 Yeah, it's a lot to deal with.

14:28 Jesus Christ.

14:30 It's insane.

14:32 You're safe.

14:35 [SOBBING] Does everything has to be so hard every time?

14:48 ORNA: It's safe.

14:53 This is exactly what I didn't want it to happen.

14:55 It's happening.

14:56 Which is?

14:58 This.

14:59 'Cause you projected it from the beginning.

15:00 No, no, wait.

15:01 Wait.

15:01 I didn't project it.

15:02 Yes, you did.

15:02 Wait, one second.

15:03 And I've been talking for weeks now about how

15:06 you're not happy in this relationship and here you are.

15:08 You have to be pushed to the point where you come out with your true feelings.

15:12 ORNA: Which are?

15:13 Because Matthew.

15:15 It's always— I can't deal with him anymore.

15:17 His sobriety.

15:18 It's just— 'Cause you don't— you don't- I

15:20 always have to— you know— You don't seem happy.

15:22 You don't— I don't look at you.

15:23 You're not happy.

15:25 It's hard to make you happy.

15:27 Because you are constantly projecting that I

15:29 am the reason and fault for everything,

15:32 that you have to walk around on eggshells around Matthew.

15:36 And I can't drink around him at this certain time,

15:39 or he's going to judge me for this.

15:41 What do I care if you drink or your friends drink?

15:44 You're just projecting, projecting, projecting.

15:48 Matthew's sober.

15:50 Was that so hard?

15:51 Is that such a bad thing?

15:57 TASHIRA: He sent me a text last week about

16:02 our sex life that he's not very happy with.

16:07 Well, how was this text phrased, Dru?

16:10 DRU: I just told her that it's nonexistent.

16:14 I feel like I'm not wanted.

16:18 ORNA: Meaning you're feeling unwanted and— DRU:

16:22 And feeling like I don't even know how to even

16:24 go about sex with her anymore because there's been plenty

16:27 of times where she's denied it or she gives

16:30 an attitude about it and she's just like, oh, fine, OK.

16:34 You know, it's not even about the physicality of the sex.

16:37 It's more the feeling that you get from your partner from that.

16:40 ORNA: So, Tashira, how was it to receive this text?

16:44 TASHIRA: Oh, I was a little annoyed to be honest.

16:47 And I responded to him two days later, and I was honest with him.

16:52 Two days you just didn't respond?

16:56 No, I didn't— no, I didn't respond.

16:59 I did not respond.

17:00 What was going on inside you during those two days?

17:04 TASHIRA: You know, it's difficult to say out loud that I find that he's

17:10 more attracted to me than I am of him and, you know, his weight.

17:19 And I know that he has an issue with it

17:21 as well because we've only had sex maybe three times completely naked.

17:28 I mean, I've been completely naked, you know, but he hasn't.

17:33 Dru, you don't get undressed?

17:35 TASHIRA: And— Yeah, I'm just wearing my t-shirt.

17:38 I'm just used to it.

17:40 Not 100% comfortable with my weight but, you know,

17:45 down the line during our— our relationship,

17:49 she's— she's said some bad things in an argument about my weight.

17:55 So I don't understand how you could make me

17:58 feel any comfortable in wanting to get fully naked.

18:03 So, yeah, but to come to the actual point of it,

18:06 she's just not attracted to me because of my weight.

18:09 I don't know if it's because of the way

18:11 that— maybe I gained a couple weight after the baby was born and we moved

18:14 in, or maybe she's just never been comfortable with it.

18:16 I don't know.

18:17 She needs to figure it out because if she's not attracted,

18:20 then— then that's that because obviously if there's no attraction,

18:23 there's no relationship.

18:24 And I'm at that point where I'm just every time it's just a new issue.

18:28 If it's not, we can't talk about it.

18:30 She feels like she can't talk to me or if it's not the resentment

18:33 of having the baby or if it's not the resentment of— of moving in together,

18:38 and now it's the weight thing.

18:39 So every time it's just a new— it's just a new thing,

18:42 you know, and I'm just tired at this point.

18:43 I really am.

18:44 Tashira, does— it does seem like you— I don't actually

18:50 get a real sense that you're invested in the relationship.

18:54 No.

18:57 Am I wrong?

18:58 No, not to— not— no, you're not wrong.

19:03 What we doing?

19:06 I mean, I'm— I'm trying to figure it out.

19:10 I'm trying to work on this.

19:17 I mean, like I said before— But you're I think your way of— of bringing yourself

19:22 into let's say this kind of therapy might

19:27 be similar to what you're doing in the relationship,

19:31 which is you— you— you— you show up

19:34 and your entire message seems to be I got nothing.

19:40 I have no wish here.

19:41 MICHAL: I'm feeling a little bit cooped up.

19:44 Both kids' schools are closed, so they're home all day every day.

19:49 Whoa!

19:51 MICHAL: I felt like it was just going crazy.

19:53 And then he told me he would be here all day with me working from home,

19:58 and I was just so happy.

20:01 But my frustration level with him hasn't changed.

20:05 I still feel like I want to kill him.

20:08 [SCREAMING] I feel like definitely because he's home,

20:14 I have more direct contact with him.

20:17 So I see what he's doing, like, every day, all day,

20:21 and he's been spending a lot of time wasting his time.

20:25 And at the same time, you know, I'm working on my company,

20:28 and then there's the kids and the house

20:30 cleaning and just everything that goes along with that.

20:32 And then when I, like, see that, you know, he's spending hours, like,

20:36 watching TV or talking to his friends, I just feel very taken advantage of.

20:40 Mmm hmm.

20:41 OK, well, we'll get back there.

20:44 I want to hear Michael's perspective on this.

20:46 MICHAEL: She doesn't know what exactly it is I do,

20:49 and she doesn't know what I'm able to do while I'm doing that.

20:53 I just feel so annoyed that, like,

20:55 why do I have to go into the weeds— What work?

20:58 You literally do nothing.

20:59 As to what I'm able to do.

21:00 Literally.

21:00 OK, be calm.

21:01 Be calm.

21:01 Do you realize that right now if I worked one day a week,

21:03 which I'm doing now, I would make more than you make in an entire week.

21:07 You literally do nothing.

21:09 You're so lazy.

21:11 Your existence is worthless right now.

21:13 It's absolutely worthless.

21:15 I want to make a suggestion.

21:17 The kids are dirty.

21:18 Like, I don't— I don't understand.

21:20 Did you give Libby a bath today?

21:21 'Cause you seem to be wearing the same thing as last night.

21:25 Surprise, surprise.

21:26 Not surprised at all actually.

21:27 ORNA: Michal.

21:27 Michal.

21:28 MICHAL: Did either of them eat anything that wasn't junk?

21:30 Michal, I need you to engage with me in a way

21:32 because we can't have you just keep repeating yourself.

21:34 I really get it.

21:36 But do you want some help in changing things?

21:40 Yeah, but I don't think that things are going

21:43 to change by him just constantly saying I disagree.

21:45 Michal, but just— just repeating yourself— I disagree.

21:46 She doesn't see me.

21:47 She doesn't see what I do.

21:48 You know what?

21:48 Michal— You want me to not see what you do?

21:51 Stop doing everything because you literally do nothing.

21:54 So just stop working.

21:55 Stop it.

21:56 I don't need you anymore.

21:57 OK, let's see what you actually give to this family.

21:59 Michal.

22:00 Michal, you are unraveling.

22:02 Michal, can you engage with me?

22:07 I understand what's frustrating you, but the way you're doing it is not working.

22:14 It's really not working.

22:18 [SIGHING HEAVILY] So— So.

22:21 How are you two?

22:22 For his— in his world, there's a lot of limitations right now.

22:25 ORNA: Yeah.

22:26 Because he can't— he can't travel back.

22:29 It's the first time since when I left

22:31 home that I haven't gone back for this long.

22:35 I haven't been back in a year.

22:36 Wow.

22:37 GIANNI: So it's killing me inside.

22:40 It's— it really is doing a number on him.

22:42 He knows.

22:43 Yeah.

22:44 And it's the stress of missing your family?

22:49 I feel stuck.

22:49 Yeah.

22:50 You know, 'cause I'm in a position that, yes, I can go,

22:52 but then it's like when are you going to be back.

22:55 And then I can say, OK,

22:57 let's go together 'cause he can't go 'cause Americans are banned from Europe.

23:00 So it's like what do I do.

23:03 I mean, I'm here because easier.

23:05 You're here 'cause you're in a relationship.

23:07 Yeah.

23:07 Yeah.

23:08 Now I have my family.

23:09 No pressure.

23:10 [LAUGHTER] Actually, I mean, he's the reason why I'm staying here.

23:14 Let's get to work.

23:16 No, I mean, do you hear this?

23:17 He's the reason.

23:19 This is, like, his thing.

23:20 Sure.

23:20 I'm the reason— But you are.

23:22 For everything.

23:23 Well, for right now.

23:25 I could have been gone a month ago 'cause I can go back home.

23:28 But you can't come back.

23:29 I know.

23:30 And it scares you, and it scares me that you— But you're willing to do it.

23:34 So— I know I'm going to be back at some point.

23:36 Do you hear this?

23:38 But— but in this, who's feeling what?

23:44 What are you feeling?

23:45 Is that I'm holding him back.

23:47 I'm keeping him from doing something he wants to do— I see.

23:50 That, you know, I'm the reason— But— but for you— That he

23:54 is in this state of mind that is awful for him.

23:58 But let me just understand.

24:00 Matthew, you're saying that when— when Gianni's saying you're the reason,

24:06 your experience is that it makes you into the bad guy, like— Yeah.

24:11 That you're doing it to him.

24:13 'Cause he says I am.

24:17 ORNA: I want to get from your end how much of that do you feel.

24:23 Do you feel like Matthew is doing something to you?

24:25 Sometimes because he says—- When?

24:27 OK, if you go, then we're done.

24:28 I did not say that.

24:30 Oh, you said it so many times.

24:31 Wait.

24:31 Wait.

24:32 Wait.

24:32 Are you kidding me.

24:33 ORNA: Hold on.

24:34 Hold on.

24:35 Safe.

24:36 And I'm like what.

24:37 That's not— Matthew says if you're going, we're done.

24:40 If you're going, we're done.

24:41 He's like what's the point of being together.

24:42 Then thank god this is over, you know.

24:44 Everything that we built.

24:45 It feels like an ultimatum.

24:46 Yeah, it's like—- Some kind of pressure.

24:47 So, like, so I have to stay.

24:48 Yeah, exactly.

24:49 ORNA: Uh huh, it's a threat.

24:50 To make you happy— to make him happy.

24:53 Do you have any thoughts about this.

24:55 I mean, I have a thought.

24:56 Mmm hmm.

24:56 Oh, yeah.

24:57 Tell me.

24:57 I'm at the point where just go.

25:01 But it's not an ultimatum.

25:03 But what is that— what is that going to mean to you if I just go?

25:07 That I'm very concerned about when this return date is.

25:11 What you're projecting into the future is some very long separation,

25:16 something will come between you.

25:18 I feel confident that that's what it will be.

25:20 ORNA: Yeah.

25:21 GIANNI: I think about all of this all the time

25:24 because what if he does something stupid or, I don't know,

25:28 I start drinking again or start seeing someone else.

25:31 So that's part of what's sitting in this.

25:32 Yeah.

25:33 Yeah.

25:34 I mean, I blame him, and it's because of him.

25:40 I wanted to go many times last year,

25:42 but I couldn't 'cause you were in the hospital every two months.

25:45 I— I was— I was thinking if I go, what is going to happen to him.

25:48 ORNA: Mmm hmm.

25:49 Then if something happened to him, then I'm going to blame myself.

25:52 Yeah.

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