Ian McKellen Takes The Colbert Questionert

0:06 Hey everybody, you know who this is?

0:09 This is Ian Mckllen.

0:10 And Ian, you know, I have been lucky enough to talk to you now,

0:13 oh, I don't know, probably past dozen, 14 years, something like that.

0:16 What's coming, Stephen?

0:17 What?

0:17 What's coming?

0:18 What's coming?

0:18 That's coming.

0:19 This is This is what's coming.

0:20 But I have to say the thing at the top.

0:22 So, here's the thing, Ian.

0:23 as as often as I've been able to spend time with you on screen and often,

0:26 it's been absolutely lovely in live theater and in film,

0:29 it's still there's just it's hard to get

0:31 to know someone in a short period of time.

0:34 And I was I was hoping if you could pretend to not know what this is.

0:40 I was hoping that you would be willing

0:42 to take something we call the Colbear questionnaire,

0:44 which is a series of 15 questions that have been designed by our I

0:49 by our psychonamic team in order to reveal someone fully to the world.

0:54 And would you would you have the courage to actually share yourself?

0:58 I'd be excited to join in.

1:00 Thank you very much.

1:01 Brave lad.

1:02 Brave lad.

1:08 Ian Mckllen, what is the best sandwich?

1:14 One that I make.

1:18 Of course.

1:19 Of course.

1:20 Do you need more than that?

1:21 Well, I mean, could you give me of of all the different

1:23 sandwiches you might make for yourself with the expertise that you demand of

1:26 white white bread?

1:27 All right.

1:28 Not too thick.

1:31 Sure.

1:31 Uh buttered.

1:35 Mhm.

1:34 Uh mayonnaise on one piece.

1:37 Marmite on the other.

1:38 Do you know what

1:39 I do know Marmite is?

1:41 Marmite.

1:41 Whether you either like Marmite or In my case, you love it.

1:46 Yes.

1:45 And in between the mayonnaise and the Marmite,

1:47 uh, tomatoes with salt and pepper.

1:54 Cut off the crusts.

1:56 Cut it into three.

1:59 You can have one and I'll have two.

2:02 I thank you for later.

2:04 For later.

2:05 Very nice.

2:08 So, I love it the way you deal with the props.

2:11 I I when I when I rehearse a play

2:13 and I'm pretending to have props like you, I cannot you can't

2:18 carry on acting until I put it down.

2:20 Right.

2:20 Exactly.

2:20 You can't you can't you can't like this is like this is

2:24 the thing like oh when you're like on stage and you're and you're

2:26 making for the audience like they're with you while you're making something

2:29 and you go can I can I get you a cup of tea?

2:32 There you go.

2:33 Okay.

2:33 I'll get you I'll get you a cup of tea right there.

2:35 Yes.

2:35 That's Turn over like that.

2:37 How do you take it?

2:38 Like that.

2:39 Just like that.

2:39 Just like that.

2:40 Okay.

2:41 But if I walk through the table at that moment.

2:45 No.

2:45 It breaks the audience's heart.

2:48 Yeah.

2:49 You you you know, in a lot of countries these days,

2:51 you're not allowed uh to smoke on stage.

2:57 Yeah.

2:56 Even if you've warned the audience.

2:58 Yes.

2:58 We're not allowed to smoke on.

2:59 And in one country, Yeah.

3:01 New Zealand, you are not allowed to have a cigarette on the stage.

3:05 Even unlit.

3:07 Unlit.

3:08 Now I was on touring with a player by Anton Czechov

3:11 in which I was playing a character who never stopped smoking.

3:15 It was part of his character.

3:16 It was part of the plot.

3:18 The doctor on the stage kept saying,

3:19 "If you carry on smoking around that, you're going

3:21 to kill yourself." So what was I to do?

3:23 I obviously I had to have I had to smoke.

3:28 They said, "You should mime it." So I I I would marker.

3:46 Well, of course the audience thought everybody is mad.

3:52 This man is clearly miming how singer,

3:54 but the doctor is telling him he's going to die if he goes on doing that.

3:59 Oh my goodness.

3:59 Oh my goodness.

4:12 What was the first concert you attended?

4:15 What sort of concert?

4:17 Musical concert.

4:19 Oh, it would be an orchestra.

4:21 Orchestral concert.

4:22 Do you remember what it was?

4:24 No, but the the the big the big orchestras used

4:27 to tour through our little town in the north of England.

4:30 But you you mean pop pop concert?

4:32 Either either one would be fine.

4:33 I would accept classical.

4:36 Yes.

4:35 But I would love to know like what was the first one

4:38 you know like what was played that you have a memory of?

4:40 I see.

4:40 Well, the first pop concert I know I was about

4:43 18 and so was Cliff Richards who was the the star.

4:47 Of course.

4:47 Yeah.

4:47 Yeah.

4:48 Do you know Sir Cliff Richard?

4:49 Yes.

4:49 Yeah.

4:49 Yeah.

4:50 What is the scariest animal?

4:56 Hyena.

4:57 It really frightens you.

4:58 It frightens you to even consider it.

5:00 Good god.

5:02 I mean, they're very like dogs and I adore dogs,

5:04 but uh and I have seen hyenas in the wild and they are enchanting,

5:10 of course, as all animals are when they get with their kids, you know.

5:14 But, uh, if I saw a hyena coming towards me on its own with a pack behind,

5:20 I'd be very frightened.

5:21 Yes, I I would, too.

5:25 Yeah.

5:25 Apples or oranges?

5:27 Oranges.

5:27 Okay.

5:28 Cuz you can squeeze an orange.

5:30 You could squeeze an apple.

5:34 That's how you get apple juice.

5:35 Ian,

5:37 I'm not arguing.

5:37 It's not how you get apple juice.

5:40 No, I go to the store.

5:41 That's how somebody gets apple juice for you.

5:43 But with an orange, you can get it yourself,

5:45 right?

5:45 I don't do that for myself either.

5:46 No, I know you don't.

5:49 I have a team.

5:50 I have a team to do orange juice.

5:52 I have a team.

5:53 I have a team of nutritionists who follow me everywhere I go.

5:56 Yes.

5:56 They slap food out of my That's why you're looking so wonderful.

5:59 Thank you very much.

6:00 I can ask you.

6:01 I'll hook you up.

6:01 Okay.

6:02 Have you ever Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

6:06 Oh yes.

6:07 Who may ask?

6:07 Many people.

6:08 Anyone leap to mind?

6:10 Nobody you would ever know.

6:13 The the the theater cup the theater company that worked

6:15 in Wigan at my little town in the north of England.

6:18 They had a company of actors who did a different play every week and I

6:21 used to go and see them and I queued up at the stage door.

6:24 In fact, I left my um Osgraph album with them and uh they all signed it for me.

6:32 I've still got it.

6:33 Still got it.

6:35 Yeah.

6:35 Lovely.

6:35 Um what do you think happens when we die?

6:41 Well, I hope there'll be a funeral.

6:50 I'm not going to I'm not just going to dump you in a gutter.

6:54 In my case, there won't be a funeral because everything

6:58 is left to uh medical research if they want it.

7:02 And when they finished with you,

7:04 they I think they grind your bones down and give the family

7:09 something that is going to be thrown into the river temps.

7:15 But what do you mean?

7:16 Do you mean is there a life after death?

7:17 I'm just asking.

7:18 I asked the questions.

7:21 What do you think happens when we die?

7:23 Any answer is the correct answer as long as it's yours.

7:25 Of course.

7:25 Yes.

7:27 Yes.

7:29 But will I go on living in any sense after I die?

7:33 No, I will not.

7:36 Okay.

7:35 Any more than before I was born, I wasn't alive.

7:40 So this is just life has just been a little interlude between

7:45 absolute nothingness and I may say and get ready for this total anonymity.

7:51 Stephen,

7:53 I won't be famous in the afterlife.

7:57 No, I won't have my team of nutritionists following me around everywhere I go.

8:01 No, they may be at the funeral, but they pick up the check.

8:06 Favorite action movie?

8:11 The French connection.

8:13 Papey Doyle.

8:13 Fantastic.

8:15 Those driving sequences.

8:16 Yeah.

8:17 Window or isle?

8:23 Well, I would normally say the window, but now I travel first.

8:29 It doesn't really matter.

8:35 Yes.

8:36 Except I was a little bit knocked.

8:39 Do you know that word?

8:40 Knocked.

8:40 Annoyed.

8:41 When uh someone on the plane from down from uh Chicago

8:47 uh suggested that I let her husband sit in my seat.

8:53 So I got all my stuff together and went to the seat behind.

8:56 It was on the aisle.

8:59 This seat was empty until someone came in and said to me,

9:03 "What were you doing in Chicago?" and I looked up and there was one

9:07 of the most attractive men I've ever seen

9:10 in my life just sitting there, a total stranger.

9:12 And uh we exchanged details and uh I hope to meet him again.

9:23 So you did the right thing.

9:25 Some enchanted evening.

9:30 Uh favorite smell?

9:33 Flowers, roses, frizes, lilac.

9:37 Least favorite smell?

9:41 Those flowers when they've been in the vase for a week and the water

9:47 has been absorbed by the stems and stalks and they smell like death.

9:55 Earliest memory.

10:01 Well, an early memory,

10:04 it it must have been pretty early because I was asleep under the metal

10:13 um not cage but table really that we had in our back room.

10:19 This was during the Second World War.

10:21 And I slept under this thing in case a bomb

10:24 knocked the house down and I'd be safe under that.

10:28 And I was woken up by our cleaner uh cleaning

10:34 the windows and singing a popular song of the time.

10:38 Do you remember the song?

10:40 When I'm cleaning windows.

10:45 It was a simpler time.

10:50 Cats or dogs?

10:57 check.

10:59 You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life.

11:01 You don't have to listen to it continually, but when you go to listen to music,

11:04 this is the song that you get to hear.

11:07 What would this song be?

11:14 I'll be seeing you in all the old

11:19 familiar places that this heart of mine embraces.

11:25 All day through lovely.

11:34 What number am I thinking of?

11:41 You know very well.

11:45 Yes.

11:46 Yes.

11:50 Because I do know it is the most important number in your life at the moment.

11:58 The 21st of May.

11:59 You're thinking of 21.

12:02 No.

12:06 Sorry.

12:07 Thank you.

12:08 Thank you.

12:09 But no.

12:11 Ian Mckllen, describe the rest of your life in five words.

12:24 I don't know the rest of my life in five words.

12:28 Five words.

12:33 Working, playing, eating, playing, working.

12:39 Congratulations, Ian.

12:40 You are known.

12:41 Oh, you are fully known.

12:44 Ian Mckllen.

12:45 Everybody, we'll be right back.