The Hardest Would You Rather Questions Ever! (Part 3)

0:00 Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.

0:01 Today we are going to be playing a fun game.

0:03 Would you rather?

0:04 Let's see what old Joey's up to.

0:05 Huh?

0:06 Let's go.

0:06 Would you rather be cancelled for something

0:08 you said or something you didn't say?

0:10 This feels like a trick question.

0:11 I would much rather not say the thing that would get me canled.

0:14 Like, I don't want to be on the hook

0:16 for saying something racist or some obviously.

0:18 Oh, I guess if you're going to get cancelled and people are saying like,

0:21 I'd rather be cancelled for what I believe or whatever.

0:24 Or if you said the thing, then at least you could apologize or talk about it.

0:30 But if you didn't say it and you kept defending that you didn't say it,

0:33 but no one believed you.

0:35 What's better?

0:36 I mean, I think at the end of the day, I got to I got to go to sleep.

0:38 I got to I got to live with myself.

0:39 Like I I didn't say that.

0:41 I'm going to say like I don't want to say something that gets me canceled.

0:44 I'm trying actively to not get cancelceled or to offend people.

0:47 So, I'm going to go with that.

0:48 Yeah, I'm good.

0:49 Would you rather lose your voice for a year or your sense of humor for a year?

0:52 Either one of these happening results in my downfall.

0:56 I will make zero dollars if I can't talk.

0:58 And if I don't have a sense of humor, I'm going sense of humor.

1:01 My whole life is around talking.

1:03 Like obviously my life is also around my sense of humor,

1:05 but like maybe I can make a serious pivot for a year and like I don't know.

1:08 Just I have like I don't know something.

1:11 Huh?

1:11 Do the news.

1:11 Do the news.

1:12 Yeah.

1:12 I'm going to be an anchor on channel 5.

1:14 If I lose my voice for a year and I can't talk, I I don't have a job.

1:18 My sense of humor also is my job, but like I can get around that, I guess,

1:22 with being a little more serious, giving advice.

1:24 Or even though people probably like, "Just shut the up and tell the jokes,

1:27 asshole." Or maybe I just have a down year and people are like,

1:29 "Joe used to be funny and now he kind of sucked,

1:31 but then I'll have a revival." You know what I'm saying?

1:32 Like the year after that being like, "Oh,

1:34 it's a comeback hit." You know what I mean?

1:35 This is unbelievable.

1:36 So like, I'm taking that.

1:37 I'm taking No sense of humor for a year.

1:39 Would you rather your big toes come alive?

1:41 What?

1:42 Did you make these up?

1:44 Yeah.

1:44 [laughter] Would you rather your big toes come alive

1:47 once a month and argue with each other in German?

1:49 Greg, these details are insane.

1:51 For 24 hours straight, this keeps going.

1:54 Or would you rather you poop a brick every 3.5 years at random?

1:58 Give me the brick.

1:59 A full brick.

2:01 Is it a brick of poop or it's a brick of brick?

2:03 It's a brick [laughter] of brick.

2:04 Oh, it's a brick of brick.

2:07 Yeah.

2:07 Whoa.

2:07 Will it tear me up?

2:09 [laughter] What kind of brick?

2:11 Also like a big house brick or like a brick like a red brick.

2:15 A red brick.

2:15 Yeah.

2:16 Yeah.

2:16 I know you're thinking big stone one,

2:18 but like a red brick that's been like it's been around.

2:21 So it's like might like all the all the edges might not be sharp.

2:24 It's not like fresh out of the factory.

2:26 Oh, it's ribbed.

2:26 Yo, my toes arguing in German's crazy.

2:29 Can I shut them up?

2:30 Can I like put shoes on?

2:31 Like if I wear steel toe boots, will I hear them?

2:33 Really?

2:33 Yeah, you'll hear them.

2:34 Yeah, you'll hear them.

2:35 [laughter] 3 and 1/2 years is a long time.

2:37 It is random though, so you don't know exactly.

2:40 But it's every three and a half years.

2:42 Oh man.

2:43 I mean, this is going to put me out for a bit if I a whole brick.

2:46 But I think that my not that my I don't

2:49 want to say that my ass is capable of that.

2:51 I think that everyone's ass is capable of a brick.

2:53 It's an expanding muscle.

2:56 Yeah.

2:56 Like I'll survive it.

2:57 Yeah.

2:57 It surprises you sometimes.

2:59 Yeah.

2:59 What?

3:00 Like it can handle more than it typically handles.

3:03 Yeah.

3:03 Yeah.

3:04 Yeah.

3:04 Yeah.

3:04 Yeah.

3:04 Yeah.

3:05 The brick is only up in the beginning because like you

3:07 got to get it like over the outside of the brick,

3:10 but then at that point it slides right out.

3:13 So, it's not really that Some could argue it even feels good halfway through.

3:17 It's definitely not going to come out sideways cuz that ain't possible.

3:20 But it would come out Some people what people People would argue that feels good

3:24 once you're like towards the end.

3:25 Oh yeah, once it's like Oh, it shuts the door.

3:29 I mean, my hole is going to be up for months after that.

3:32 Why am I still on this?

3:34 Give me Give me the toes.

3:35 What am I thinking?

3:36 Would you rather lose half your net worth or half your audience overnight?

3:39 Ooh, this is a good question.

3:41 I'm going to say net worth.

3:42 There's more longevity in having an audience,

3:45 especially if like you can guarantee that it will stay intact.

3:48 I would much rather take that than the net worth.

3:51 Like unfortunately, cutting that in half would

3:53 suck cuz you lose half of your investments.

3:56 But you get it back with the audience over time.

3:58 If you lose half your audience,

3:59 it would take you much longer to you know, there's no longevity.

4:02 I mean, I guess there is longevity because if you cut the audience in half,

4:05 you're still making money and adding to the net worth you already have,

4:08 but I'm taking the audience.

4:09 I'm taking you guys over the net worth.

4:10 Would you rather go bald and not be able to get a hair

4:13 transplant or lose one of your pinky fingers and know you'll never go bald?

4:17 Ooh, I do like my pinkies.

4:20 This depends how fat I get [laughter] because

4:24 I think that like bigger dudes that like

4:27 have a beard or or are like a little jacked or whatever like look good bald.

4:31 Like that's like the bald look, you know what I mean?

4:33 And you have it in you.

4:34 Like you could I have it in me.

4:36 You could swing.

4:37 Oh my god, dude.

4:38 Like I already know that I'm going to be like a round dude.

4:41 Yeah.

4:40 Like at some point in my life.

4:41 Don't agree.

4:42 [laughter]

4:43 Like I I do think that and I think that that look will probably look cool.

4:46 Like if you go full bald,

4:48 but you got a beard and like you're just kind of like stocky and like yolked.

4:52 Like that's a cool look.

4:53 I don't think that I would look good bald right now.

4:56 Like I just don't have the body for it.

4:58 I just it would look very out of place to me.

5:01 So, I'm probably gonna have to get rid of my pinky,

5:03 my my left hand, my non-dominant pinky.

5:08 I'm chilling.

5:09 All right, before we get to the rest of this video,

5:11 we do have a sponsor, and that is Segeek.

5:13 Okay, Segeek is where you're going to want to buy your tickets for anything.

5:16 All right, summer's right around the corner,

5:18 so you want to go to a baseball game,

5:19 you want to go to a football game, you want to go well,

5:22 football's over with, but you want to go to any other type of game,

5:24 or you want to go to a concert or something

5:25 like that, you're going to get your tickets on Segeek, okay?

5:27 I've been working with them for years.

5:29 They're amazing.

5:29 I love the transparency.

5:31 They will color code the seats so that you know whether

5:33 you're paying a good price or a bad price for a ticket.

5:36 And right now, we're going to save you a little

5:38 bit of cash because we got a promo code.

5:41 The code is Joe 2026 and you will save 10% off of your next set of tickets.

5:47 Okay?

5:47 And like I said, I've used Segeek for years now.

5:49 Uh I went to the World Series because of SeatGeek.

5:52 So, they've hooked it up and uh you know, I think they're a great platform.

5:56 So, if you're going to be buying tickets anywhere, you want that transparency.

5:59 You want to make sure that you're getting the best

6:01 bang for your buck and Segeek allows you to do that.

6:03 Okay.

6:04 So, don't forget to use that code, Joe 2026,

6:06 to get 10% off of your next set of tickets.

6:09 So, go download the Segeek and use the code.

6:11 You're welcome.

6:11 We also have Rocket Money.

6:13 Rocket Money is an all-in-one personal finance app that is

6:16 focused on putting the money back in your pocket.

6:18 So, one way that they do that that saves a lot

6:20 of people money is they find and cancel unwanted subscriptions.

6:24 So, a lot of times people will sign up for a free trial,

6:26 then once it kicks in, they don't realize or they've been paying for something

6:29 they don't really use uh every single month for the past six months.

6:32 You've been paying for this thing and you don't even use it.

6:34 It's easy to see uh like in one place where all

6:37 of your expenses are and then be able to make the decision of like,

6:40 okay, if I cancel this, then I'm going to save

6:42 some money and at the end of the year, you could save hundreds of of dollars.

6:47 So, there you go.

6:48 You know, they also have a budgeting tool so

6:50 that if you want to be more financially responsible,

6:52 you could set a budget for yourself and make sure

6:53 that you're staying within that so you can grow your savings.

6:57 And they also have a feature that you

6:58 can literally upload a picture of your bill.

7:00 And if they can help you lower it, they will do that.

7:03 So, like I said, Rocket Money, it's all about putting money back

7:05 in your pocket and being smarter with our finances,

7:09 which we can all be a little bit smarter.

7:11 We all slip up sometimes, but it's nice to have all these things in one place,

7:14 all of your expenses,

7:16 so that you know exactly what you're spending and what you're saving.

7:19 And right now, you can try it for free at rocketmoney.com/joe.

7:22 However, they do have a bunch of premium features that are going to give

7:24 you the most bang for your buck there and help you save even more.

7:28 So, go to rocketmoney.com/joe right now to get started for free.

7:33 But again, check out those premium features because they could be very helpful.

7:36 Would you rather sweat piss or out your mouth?

7:38 I mean, I'm taking sweat piss all day every day.

7:41 You sweat a lot.

7:41 I do sweat a lot.

7:42 I didn't even think of that.

7:43 I would smell like piss my whole life then.

7:45 [laughter] I do sweat a lot.

7:47 out of my mouth's insane, though.

7:49 Oh, he's changing it on the fly.

7:50 Would you rather sweat piss or out of your mouth once a month?

7:54 Is what's a What's out of my mouth?

7:55 Is that just like one one brick?

8:00 Like one

8:01 I mean, all shits are different.

8:02 Oh, I can't have Oh my god.

8:05 If you give me once every two months, I'll take the poop.

8:07 One and a half.

8:07 Every 6 weeks?

8:09 Every 6 weeks I'm going to out of my mouth.

8:11 Can I know when?

8:12 No.

8:13 [sighs] I mean, I guess I'll know when cuz I'll be like,

8:16 even throwing up once every six weeks would be pretty tough.

8:19 If you give me 6 weeks, I'm taking the in the mouth cuz I sweat all the time.

8:22 Like, the summer I would be a walking drop of piss.

8:25 Like, I can't have that.

8:27 My clothes are ruined.

8:28 My head I have piss dripping into my eyes and my mouth all day.

8:32 Like, I I cannot pick that one.

8:34 Like, I sweat too much.

8:35 So, I'm taking in my mouth.

8:37 Disgusting.

8:37 But here we are.

8:38 Wow.

8:39 Okay.

8:39 Would you rather know the day you'll die but not how?

8:42 Or how you will die but not the day.

8:44 Oh my god.

8:45 Neither.

8:46 Maybe how.

8:46 I definitely don't want to know when, but maybe how.

8:49 But that would make me terrified of anything

8:51 that's like a tragic thing, you know?

8:53 Like let's say it's like, oh, it's a car accident.

8:54 I'd be terrified every time I get in a car.

8:56 I don't want to know the day, though.

8:57 I'll take how.

9:00 Wow.

8:59 I just don't want to know the the day.

9:01 Would you rather be able to control the weather or the traffic?

9:04 Give me the weather.

9:05 Give me the weather, dude.

9:06 traffic.

9:07 I could always move out to the suburbs and not have to deal with it.

9:11 Like, you know what I mean?

9:12 Like, and I also deal with like traffic now.

9:14 I live in the city and but like it's not

9:16 that bad that I'm going to give up having a, you know, beautiful day, you know?

9:20 I could just make it a beautiful day if I want.

9:22 Like, if I wake up and be like, "Yo,

9:23 I wish it was like this weather out right now." I could just do it.

9:25 Like, that's fire.

9:26 Or am I like storm?

9:27 Can I like throw lightning bolts and Like, I can make a tornado.

9:31 That's That's weather.

9:32 I mean, yeah, sure.

9:33 Yeah.

9:33 I'm taking the weather 10 times out of 10.

9:34 That's not This was the easiest one so far.

9:36 A tornado might kill people.

9:38 I didn't say I was going to make one.

9:39 I said I could if I wanted to.

9:40 Would you rather make 10 million once or 100K every year forever?

9:45 I'm going to I'm going to take 10 million once.

9:47 I'm going to take 10 million once because if I

9:49 have a job that I I enjoy my job thankfully, so I have that privilege.

9:53 I have a decent nest egg right now.

9:56 $10 million.

9:57 You put that in the market conservatively you're making $60,000 already.

10:01 That's very conservative.

10:02 So, like you can make 10% easy every single year.

10:05 So, you're going to be making $100,000 a year anyway for having

10:08 a hundred for having $10 million in the in the market.

10:10 And that's not even including what I already have in the market.

10:12 So, then you take the hund,000 and you put it in with the 10 million.

10:15 Now, you're going to make even more on that money.

10:18 You would make more than a h 100,000 on that money

10:20 every single year if the market does 10% every year,

10:22 which it's not always going to do.

10:24 But history has shown that with compounding interest, it will,

10:29 especially $10 million, will beat 100 grand a year.

10:33 That was all a setup for you to give that solid financial advice.

10:36 Would you rather orgasm every time someone says, "Nice to meet you." Oh, no.

10:41 Or not be able to orgasm for two years.

10:43 Give me the com, dude.

10:44 I'm coming.

10:44 I'm not my This is crazy.

10:46 Nice to meet you for the rest of your life.

10:47 I don't have to say, "Oh, someone says it to me."

10:50 And you're out there moving and shaking now.

10:51 Well, right now, yeah, I am shaking more hands these days,

10:54 but I can definitely pull back on that if I'm going to be like,

10:57 but it's for the rest of your life.

10:59 Oh, is it?

11:01 Oh, wow.

11:01 Not being able to orgasm for two years is torture.

11:04 Orgasming is, as you all know, fire.

11:07 To give that up for a full two years, I don't know if I could do that one.

11:10 Also, I get nothing out of this.

11:12 Like, I get nothing.

11:13 Like, it's just two years of not doing it and then you go back to normal.

11:16 Like, the This is orgasming every time.

11:18 I feel like I could cover up an orgasm.

11:20 I mean, you still come in your pants.

11:22 Definitely still come in my pants, which is rough.

11:24 I definitely would avoid like networking events,

11:27 meeting a lot of people at one time.

11:29 [laughter] That would be exhausting.

11:31 She like, "Hi, hi, hi, hi." I would have to step out,

11:33 but like once you get the hell's out of the way,

11:35 you could kind of live freely and you're chilling.

11:37 But I'm like filled with But people recognize me on the street,

11:40 so they could just pull up on me and I would just be like, you know what I mean?

11:43 This is weird.

11:44 Yeah.

11:44 I can't No.

11:45 Oh god.

11:46 Yeah.

11:46 I might have to take the two years now cuz like I I'm also Oh, no.

11:49 I can't.

11:49 If I was older, I would take the nice to meet you cuz like

11:52 how many people are you going to meet when you're like much older, you know?

11:55 You kind of just like park it and just chill.

11:57 But like I I feel like I'm going to meet a lot of new people in my life

12:00 and I just can't in one room to say hi to a bunch of people, dude.

12:04 Can you imagine?

12:05 I can't.

12:05 And I can't imagine like like people recognize me on the street.

12:08 I mean, now I'm going to jail.

12:10 They'd be like, "What the is wrong with this guy?" You know what I mean?

12:12 I said hi to him.

12:12 I said, "Nice to meet you." And he exploded.

12:14 [laughter] Yeah, I can't go to jail.

12:16 So, I can't I can't have that.

12:17 I'm going to have to do two years in the in the in the no no come prison.

12:21 I don't know.

12:21 Let me know what you guys think.

12:22 I feel like I answered those all correctly,

12:24 but let me know how you feel about it.

12:26 I don't know.

12:27 All right.

12:27 Uh don't forget to subscribe.

12:29 We'll see you guys next