Stop Rambling! 5 Simple Tricks to Speak English Clearly & Confidently

0:00 You may think that you have a speaking problem,

0:03 but today I want to reveal something to you.

0:06 You don't have a speaking problem.

0:10 You see, what you actually have is a trust problem.

0:16 You don't trust that your point landed when

0:18 you're speaking and someone is listening to you.

0:20 So, you continue to talk.

0:23 You continue to explain,

0:25 but in the midst of your talking and rambling, the message gets lost.

0:32 I need you to change your mindset.

0:36 Here is the original mindset, your old mindset.

0:40 I need to explain more so they understand me.

0:45 Here's the new mindset shift that you need to have by the end of this lesson.

0:51 Confident speakers like me trust their point.

0:57 They say it once and then stop.

1:02 Are you ready to go deeper to understand?

1:05 Well, then, I'm teacher Tiffany.

1:08 Let's jump right in.

1:10 Here is trick number one to help you stop rambling.

1:13 Trick number one, the landing confirmation.

1:17 What is this?

1:18 This is trusting that your point has arrived

1:21 in the listener's mind without needing verbal proof.

1:26 Why is this so important?

1:28 Trusting that your point landed.

1:30 Reason number one, rambling happens because

1:34 you're waiting for confirmation that never comes.

1:38 You're You're looking at the person waiting for them

1:40 to give you a verbal confirmation and it's not coming, so you keep speaking.

1:45 The second reason why this is so important, in English conversations,

1:50 listeners don't always nod or say, "I understand." Number three,

1:56 silence after your point doesn't mean confusion.

2:01 It often means they're processing.

2:03 So, you're speaking and the person is silent,

2:06 they're probably just processing what you just said.

2:11 Number four, why it works, why it's important.

2:13 When you keep explaining,

2:16 you're essentially saying "I don't trust that you got it.

2:20 I don't trust that you understood,

2:22 so I'm going to continue speaking until you actually understand." And the native

2:27 speakers interpret over-explanation as a lack of confidence in your own idea.

2:35 [music] Let me show you what this looks like in our first example,

2:39 example number one, a team meeting.

2:45 In the team meeting, your old self, you would think this.

2:50 "I think we should delay the launch because, you know,

2:54 the data isn't ready and also the team is behind.

2:58 What I mean is we need more time.

3:00 Does that make sense?

3:01 Like we're not prepared." You would think like

3:04 this and speak like this, but you'd be rambling.

3:07 And you see you're saying the same thing over and over again.

3:12 New you.

3:13 I think we should delay the launch.

3:16 The data isn't ready.

3:18 Stop.

3:20 Let it land.

3:21 Let what you said settle in.

3:23 Let everyone process what you said.

3:25 You don't have to keep speaking.

3:28 What about this example, this situation?

3:32 Answering an interview question.

3:36 Now, the old you would say, "My biggest strength is problem-solving.

3:41 I mean, I like to find solutions.

3:44 Like when something goes wrong, I try to fix it.

3:47 What I'm trying to say is I don't give up easily." Stop.

3:51 You're rambling.

3:52 You see what's happening even as you're listening to me read this example,

3:57 it seems like I'm going on and on.

4:00 Why?

4:01 We're never letting it land.

4:04 The new you would say it like this.

4:07 My biggest strength is problem-solving.

4:11 I stay calm under pressure and find solutions others miss.

4:17 Stop.

4:19 Silence is now your friend.

4:21 Let your answer land.

4:24 The landing confirmation.

4:26 Example number three, another situation, explaining something to a friend.

4:31 Now, the old you, again, the you who is used to rambling

4:35 and just continuing to speak would sound like this.

4:39 The movie was confusing.

4:41 Like there were too many characters and the timeline jumped around.

4:45 What I mean is it was hard to follow.

4:48 You know what I'm saying?

4:49 Rambling.

4:51 The new you would say it like this.

4:55 The movie was confusing.

4:56 Too many characters and the timeline kept jumping.

5:01 Trust that they understood what you said.

5:05 Let your response land.

5:09 Make sense, right?

5:11 Excellent.

5:11 So, trick number one, the landing confirmation.

5:15 Speaking confidently in English, trick number two.

5:20 The power pause.

5:24 What is this?

5:25 Treating silence as punctuation, not failure.

5:29 I love this one.

5:31 Treating it as punctuation, not failure.

5:34 Let me break this down.

5:35 Why is this so powerful?

5:37 Why is the pause such a powerful trick?

5:40 You see, upper-intermediate learners fear silence

5:44 because it feels like you're losing control.

5:48 Number two.

5:50 In your native language, you pause naturally,

5:54 but in English, you fill every gap because it's uncomfortable.

5:59 Number three, the reason is rambling is often just

6:02 panic filling the space where a pause should live.

6:06 Rambling is filling the space where a pause should live.

6:13 Number four, you see pauses make you sound more confident, not less.

6:21 You see what I did there?

6:22 I am pausing on purpose to show you the power of a confident pause.

6:31 And number five, a two-second pause says, "I'm thinking." Rambling says,

6:40 "I'm panicking." There is power in the pause.

6:44 Check out this first example, example number one.

6:48 During a presentation.

6:49 Now, the old you would say, "So,

6:52 the results show um basically [snorts] what happened was the numbers went up.

6:58 What What I'm trying to say is you're filling silence with noise.

7:04 Listen to it again, but using the power pause.

7:09 New you.

7:11 So, the results show a 40% increase.

7:17 In that moment, I paused to look

7:20 at the presentation slide and to give the number weight.

7:25 We see the results.

7:28 They show a 40% increase.

7:32 Something happens when you pause.

7:35 Let the silence be.

7:38 Check out this third example.

7:40 The third example is another powerful one, the second example, on a client call.

7:47 The old you.

7:48 The project will be done by Friday.

7:50 I mean, we're working on it.

7:52 Like, the team is almost finished.

7:54 So, yeah, Friday should work unless something happens.

7:58 No pauses.

8:00 You sound like you're rambling.

8:02 Here's a better way.

8:03 Listen for the pause.

8:05 The project will be done by Friday.

8:09 Pause.

8:11 Let them respond.

8:12 Resist the urge to fill the silence.

8:18 The project will be done by Friday.

8:22 That felt a lot more confident, right?

8:25 The power pause.

8:27 Example number three now is at a dinner party.

8:32 The old you.

8:34 Someone asks your opinion on something you need to think about.

8:38 You start talking immediately saying anything to avoid silence.

8:43 You're just starting to speak.

8:45 The new you.

8:46 Understanding the power pause would do this.

8:50 After they've asked you for your opinion, you'd say, "Hmm." [clears throat]

8:55 Followed by a 3-second pause while you actually think.

9:00 "I'd say Now your answer sounds like you've considered something.

9:05 It doesn't sound desperate.

9:06 You have let everyone at the table know, I am pausing on purpose.

9:11 I am thinking about my response.

9:13 I want to give you a purposeful response.

9:17 The power pause.

9:19 Trick number two.

9:20 Now this leads us to trick number three.

9:22 Again, speaking confidently in English and clearly.

9:26 Trick number three, one point one breath.

9:30 One point, one breath.

9:33 You see, this is making one clear point

9:37 per speaking turn instead of stacking multiple half-formed thoughts.

9:44 One point, one breath.

9:46 Let me explain why this is so powerful and why it works.

9:51 It works because rambling often happens because you're making

9:54 three points at one time and finishing none of them.

9:59 You're just speaking and you're actually overlapping yourself.

10:03 Reason number two why this trick is so important.

10:06 Your brain is faster than your mouth.

10:09 So, thoughts pile up and spill out messily when you don't

10:14 take your time to give one point and then take one breath.

10:18 Number three, native speakers don't give more information to sound smarter.

10:24 We actually give less and more clearly.

10:28 Number four, reason number four,

10:31 one complete thought is greater than three incomplete thoughts.

10:37 I'm going to emphasize this again.

10:40 One complete thought is greater, more important,

10:44 and has more impact than three incomplete thoughts.

10:49 And finally, listeners can only hold one idea at a time anyway.

10:56 Let me show you what this looks like in a real-life situation.

10:59 Example number one, giving feedback to a colleague.

11:03 Now, the old you would say it like this.

11:06 The report was good, but also the formatting could be better.

11:09 And I noticed some data was missing.

11:11 Plus, the conclusion felt rushed.

11:13 And maybe we should talk about the timeline, too.

11:16 Too many points, not enough breath.

11:19 I need you to pause.

11:20 Too many [music] points.

11:21 The new you would give feedback like this.

11:26 The report was solid.

11:28 One thing, the conclusion felt rushed.

11:33 One point, clear, done.

11:36 The person listening knows what the most important point is,

11:40 can grab it, and take it, and do something with it.

11:44 What about this example, this situation?

11:48 Answering the question, "How was your weekend?" The old you,

11:53 not understanding the one point one breath, would say, "It was good.

11:56 I mean, I was tired, but I saw my friends, and I also had to work a bit.

12:00 And the weather was nice, so we went outside,

12:02 BUT THEN IT RAINED." WHOA, WHOA, slow down.

12:07 Too many points, not enough breaths.

12:10 The new you, understanding the trick, one point one breath.

12:15 Someone says, "How was your weekend?" Your response now?

12:19 Really nice.

12:20 I finally caught up with friends I hadn't seen in months.

12:25 One point.

12:26 Then let them ask follow-up questions if they want more.

12:31 It's a conversation, not just you giving a speech.

12:36 Make sense, right?

12:38 Here's the third example.

12:39 Again, one point one breath.

12:42 Explaining a problem to [music] your manager.

12:45 Now, the old you, "So, the system crashed, and also the client called,

12:50 and they were upset, and I tried to fix it,

12:52 but I couldn't reach IT, and meanwhile, the deadline is tomorrow,

12:56 and stop." Too many points, not enough breaths.

13:02 The new you, understanding the trick, one point one breath.

13:07 Explaining a problem to your manager.

13:10 The system crashed this morning.

13:12 I need IT to access, or I need IT access to fix it before tomorrow's deadline.

13:19 Stated the problem, stated the solution that is needed, very clear.

13:25 This is one point one breath.

13:28 Again, we're talking about speaking clearly and confidently in English.

13:33 You don't have to ramble.

13:35 This leads us to trick number four.

13:38 Before we get to trick number four though, remember,

13:41 if you want to continue improving

13:43 your English going from intermediate to advanced,

13:46 I've created a 365-day English fluency system.

13:50 This system will help you get to the advanced level

13:53 by studying only 15 minutes a day following my proven system,

13:58 a lesson for each day.

14:00 If you want to improve your English and continue studying with me,

14:02 go to speakenglishtiffany.com/365system.

14:06 [music] Follow the system 15 minutes a day and improve your English.

14:13 Now we're ready for trick number four.

14:17 The exit ramp.

14:18 What is this?

14:19 Giving yourself permission to stop talking.

14:24 Even mid-thought if needed.

14:27 The exit ramp.

14:27 Let's break this down and understand why it actually works.

14:33 First, most ramblers know they're rambling, but they don't know how to stop.

14:39 They're just rambling and they're like, "I know I'm rambling,

14:40 but I don't know how to stop.

14:41 What do I do?" They know that they are rambling.

14:46 Secondly, you feel committed to finishing once you start.

14:51 Even when you've lost the thread,

14:53 you don't know where you're going, but you're just continuing to speak.

14:58 Number three, you're allowed to stop, my friend.

15:02 You're allowed to say, "Actually,

15:04 let me start over." That doesn't show a lack of fluency.

15:08 It actually shows the opposite, that you are more fluent than you think.

15:12 Number four, a clean ending beats a messy continuation every time.

15:19 End it clearly.

15:21 End it with clarity.

15:23 Not clarity, clarity.

15:25 Clean.

15:27 Number five.

15:28 Stopping too soon almost never happens.

15:31 Stopping too late happens constantly.

15:35 What does this look like?

15:36 Example number one.

15:38 When you're rambling in a meeting.

15:41 The old you sounds like this.

15:43 Keep going hoping you'll find your way back to the point.

15:47 You don't and everyone is confused.

15:51 No one knows what you're saying.

15:53 The new you that understands the exit ramp says this.

15:58 Actually, let me simplify that.

16:01 My main point is dot dot dot.

16:05 Take the exit ramp.

16:06 Start fresh.

16:08 Actually, let me simplify that.

16:10 That's a-okay.

16:12 Example number two.

16:14 Overcomplicating a simple question.

16:18 Now, the old you, well,

16:20 it depends on several factors like the context and also the timing

16:24 and what you mean by better because there are different ways to measure stop.

16:29 Don't complicate a simple question.

16:33 Instead, use the exit ramp.

16:35 Here's [music] the better way to respond.

16:39 The short answer to your question, yes.

16:42 What happened?

16:43 If they want more, they'll ask for more.

16:46 You don't have to give more than you're being asked for.

16:50 Example number three.

16:52 When your mouth keeps moving.

16:55 Now, the old you, so that's why I think we should go with option A.

16:59 I mean, option B isn't bad.

17:01 It's just that option A has advantages,

17:03 you know, in terms of cost and also timing.

17:06 Though, of course, stop.

17:08 Stop.

17:09 Take the exit ramp.

17:10 Take the exit ramp.

17:12 This is how the new you would speak.

17:16 So, that's why I think we should go with option A.

17:20 Stop.

17:21 Smile.

17:22 You're done.

17:24 You don't have to keep speaking.

17:26 We're talking about speaking English with confidence and clearly.

17:31 Take [music] the exit ramp.

17:33 Trick number four.

17:36 Trick number five is another good one.

17:39 First answer confidence.

17:42 Again, first answer confidence.

17:45 What is this?

17:46 Trusting that your first instinct was clear enough

17:50 without needing to rephrase it three different ways.

17:54 Let's break this down a bit more.

17:56 Why is this important?

17:58 Why does it work?

17:59 So, [music] first answer confidence.

18:01 Trusting your first answer.

18:02 You see, ramblers often repeat the same point using different words.

18:08 Hoping one version will land.

18:12 Reason number two.

18:13 This actually signals to the listener that you don't believe what you said.

18:19 Why should I?

18:21 Reason number three.

18:22 Your first answer was probably fine.

18:26 Your doubt is what created the confusion.

18:29 We're talking about first answer confidence.

18:32 The first response you give being confident in that response.

18:37 Number four.

18:38 Rephrasing does not clarify, it dilutes.

18:42 It does not enhance your answer, it dilutes it.

18:45 And number five, why it works, why it's important.

18:48 Confidence isn't about perfect words.

18:52 It's about standing behind imperfect ones.

18:57 Being confident in your response.

18:59 What does this look like?

19:00 Example number one.

19:02 Explaining your job.

19:04 Now, the old you would say something like this.

19:08 I work in marketing.

19:09 Like, I help companies reach customers.

19:12 You know, advertising and social media and stuff.

19:16 Basically, I help promote promote products.

19:19 What I mean is first answer confidence.

19:25 You don't have to say it over and over again.

19:27 This is a better way of saying it.

19:30 The new you would say, I work in marketing.

19:33 I help companies reach new customers.

19:37 That was enough.

19:38 Trust your first [music] answer.

19:42 What about this example?

19:43 Example number two.

19:45 Answering the question, why do you want this job?

19:49 Now, the old you would say something like this.

19:52 Because I think it's a great opportunity.

19:54 I mean, the company is growing and I want to grow, too.

19:57 What I'm saying is I see myself here.

19:59 Like, it fits my goals.

20:01 Stop.

20:01 Stop.

20:02 First answer confidence, not rambling.

20:07 [music] Here's the new you response.

20:09 Question again, why do you want this job?

20:12 Answer, first answer confidence.

20:15 Because the role matches exactly where I want to grow.

20:18 And I admire how the company approaches innovation.

20:23 First answer, done.

20:25 Don't dilute it.

20:27 Makes sense, right?

20:28 This literally represents confidence.

20:32 Here's the third example.

20:34 Expressing an opinion.

20:37 Now, here's the old you.

20:39 I think remote work is better.

20:41 Or at least it works for some people.

20:44 What I What I mean is it depends, but but personally, I prefer it.

20:48 You know what I'm saying?

20:50 This does not give off confidence.

20:54 But the second the fifth trick, first answer confidence, [music]

21:00 would sound like this.

21:02 I think remote work is better for focus.

21:06 Your opinion stated.

21:08 No need to soften it with five qualifiers.

21:11 Again, I think [music] remote work is better for focus.

21:15 You've given your opinion, your first answer with confidence.

21:19 This trick will help you sound more confident.

21:24 I hope you enjoyed this lesson and I want to remind you,

21:26 if you want to follow my system and continue improving your English,

21:30 don't forget to hit the link in the description.

21:33 www.speakenglishwithtiffany.com/365system.

21:35 Follow the system 15 minutes a day and get to the advanced English level.

21:45 I'll talk to you in the next [music] lesson.

21:57 You still there?

21:59 You know what time it is?

22:00 It's story time.

22:03 Hey, hey, hey.

22:04 I said story time.

22:06 All right.

22:07 I have a shorter story with you.

22:09 I just want to show some love for [snorts] my neighbors and the importance

22:16 of helping others out and how what you do for others will come back on you.

22:23 So, I was traveling and I asked my neighbors to just kind

22:28 of keep an eye out on my apartment for me while I was gone.

22:30 I do the same thing for them.

22:32 It's a husband and wife.

22:33 They have kids.

22:34 They said, "Tiff, no problem.

22:35 We got your back." So, while I was gone, the wife texted me and said,

22:39 "Hey, Tiff, there's a very large package

22:42 for you downstairs and it's quite heavy.

22:46 It has your name on it.

22:47 Were you expecting anything?" When she messaged me,

22:51 I realized, "Oh my goodness, I ordered some weights.

22:55 Very heavy weights and I live on the third floor." I said,

22:59 "Shoot." So, I felt bad.

23:01 I said, "Okay, I I was going to be gone for a week.

23:03 So they couldn't stay outside." I said, "Yes, I did order that package.

23:09 Do you think your husband would mind bringing it upstairs?" Now again,

23:13 when I say heavy, it was heavy.

23:14 She said, "Sure, we got you.

23:16 Don't worry, Tiff." So when I came home at the end of that week,

23:21 I saw the package in front of my door.

23:23 Well, no, excuse me.

23:24 They kept the package at their house and then

23:26 they brought it over to me when I got back.

23:29 When I felt how heavy that package was, I sent another message to her and said,

23:35 "Please thank your husband so much for getting

23:40 this package for me." That package was extremely heavy.

23:43 I was not going to be able to get it myself.

23:46 Even if I had been home, I wouldn't have been able to get it myself.

23:49 I would have had to ask someone else to help me.

23:51 But the more I thought about how my neighbors

23:54 cared so much about me to bring the package upstairs,

23:58 hold it inside of their home for the entire week while I was gone,

24:02 made me appreciate them so much.

24:05 I want you to remember the golden rule.

24:09 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

24:12 Helping others is so important.

24:15 It shows them that you care about them and then later

24:18 on they'll take care of you as well in many situations.

24:22 So today, I want you to think about your neighbors.

24:25 Think about your friends or your family members.

24:27 If they need anything from you that you are able to give, give it to them.

24:33 Do it for them.

24:34 This is how we love each other and this is how we grow.

24:38 I hope you enjoyed this story and I hope you enjoyed this lesson.

24:41 I'll talk to you next time.