Hilarious Tracy Morgan One-Liners | The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins | NBC

0:01 -Now I gotta put on my producer hat.

0:02 This movie is supposed to show people how great I am.

0:05 -Let's talk about your time in Green Bay.

0:06 -Geez, Cole.

0:07 Next question.

0:08 Cellphone buzzes] Why are we outside?

0:10 I'm not moisturized for this.

0:13 -I'm going to surprise Denise at work with flowers.

0:16 -That's why I smelled lilac and baby's breath the whole ride.

0:19 I thought I was having a stroke.

0:21 I got my Dr.

0:22 Watson with me now, which makes me Dr.

0:25 Watson's dad.

0:26 -What was the last endorsement I was able to get you?

0:29 Children giggling] -What is this an ad for?

0:31 The sword I was talking about.

0:33 Tom Cruise used it in that movie where he played the samurai.

0:36 It's true.

0:37 He actually did that.

0:38 My money, the money that paid for your BMW and your son's fart medication.

0:43 -Can we not put that in?

0:44 -What if I play you in reenactments?

0:47 I mean, I know all your old moves, huh?

0:49 -I call that the go away, you.

0:52 Cleopatra— Black.

0:54 Jesus— Black.

0:56 George Washington— Black.

0:58 I have an amazing plan.

0:59 For whenever something happens that I don't want in the movie,

1:02 I just tell my phone to play the Beatles cause that ain't in the budget.

1:06 -What are you doing?

1:07 -This is that rap album you so wisely convinced me not to release.

1:12 Ba-ba-ba-bad♪ No more movie.

1:14 The cameras are only there because Marty and I don't know

1:17 how to transition into a friendship that isn't based on work.

1:20 -Love you, Reg.

1:20 -You know what?

1:21 You should be thanking me— for pulling your ass out of the fire.

1:24 -If you talking about that luau on our honeymoon, thank you.

1:28 When I crave bitter protein,

1:29 the only sour herring spread Reggie Dinkins reaches for is...

1:33 -Brockenzeug Muskelogeleo!

1:35 -Put it on your cabbage!

1:36 -I read a 2004 interview with you in Playboy magazine.

1:41 -Sure you did.

1:42 -You dog!

1:43 -You suck!

1:43 -Yeah, you suck!

1:45 -No, I don't.

1:46 I do the opposite.

1:47 I blow.

1:49 -But it's a fool's errand.

1:50 -I don't even know what that means.

1:52 Fool's running errands all the time.

1:54 That's why Wawa sells sushi.

1:56 When do kids start needing jockstraps?

1:59 It's early now, right?

2:00 'Cause of milk.

2:01 You know what?

2:03 One of you kids gets my watch.

2:07 Children clamoring] You deserve it!

2:08 Jerry Basmati is two faced like that Batman villain, the Joker.

2:13 You want to unleash the dog?

2:14 -Yeah.

2:15 -Well, you got him.

2:16 Yip!

2:16 Yip!

2:16 Woof!

2:17 Yip!

2:17 -The hell was that?

2:18 -Small dogs are the craziest.

2:19 -Reggie, We're nowhere near done filming.

2:21 Editing takes months,

2:22 and I haven't even begun to think about a font for the title.

2:24 -Franklin Gothic with a drop shadow.

2:26 -Reggie, this is the process.

2:28 Keep going.

2:29 -When I was eight, a rat crawled up my toilet bowl, and went in my butt!

2:33 -Alright, let's end there.

2:34 -Now, I want you to come film me dunking on a regulation 10-foot hoop.

2:39 Yeah.

2:41 Shoot me so you can't see the ground.

2:43 -I spoke to the reporter.

2:44 She doesn't even want to talk about gambling.

2:46 -Really?

2:47 That's Smurf-tastic.

2:48 I can say that now that Rihanna's a Smurf.

2:51 -Taking your prize sculpture is the very last thing I would do.

2:53 -Really?

2:54 Last thing?

2:56 Ahead of marrying Hitler?

2:58 -You asked me to marry you a hundred times before I said yes— In Italy,

3:02 at Epstein's island.

3:04 -It's not what it sounds like.

3:05 Dr.

3:06 Epstein is my optometrist.

3:08 I also asked her at CVS.

3:10 -You remember on vacation when we got lost in Tuscany?

3:13 But Monica had put an AirTag on you,

3:16 and that's how the police were able to find us.

3:18 -If it wasn't for her, we'd still be trapped in that mausoleum.

3:21 Must be nice having a big TV.

3:24 Back in my day, Our TV was just a fish tank with a radio in it.

3:30 Must be nice eating at a table.

3:32 We had to take turns being the table.

3:34 -Hey, dad.

3:35 Can I borrow the car?

3:36 -My pop's car was just wood and rock, and we had to power it with our feet.

3:42 -I have actually been wanting to dig

3:43 into your childhood a little bit more, Reggie.

3:45 Maybe tomorrow you could take me back

3:46 to— -Don't say "the hood." -I wasn't going to.

3:48 -I don't believe you.

3:49 It was a great idea.

3:51 -You were right about this fish.

3:54 -I'm right about a lot of things.

3:56 For 20 years I've been saying Gayle King gonna go to space.

4:00 -How do you expect people to root for you again

4:03 if all they see is you hiding in a mansion?

4:05 -It's aspirational.

4:07 See, Arthur Tobin's style is immersive.

4:09 He even filmed me sleeping last night.

4:12 Talking in your sleep is for babies.

4:16 If I ever talked to my sleep, I'd be so embarrassed.

4:20 What do you want me to say?

4:22 That you're right?

4:23 That I do hide from the world because I'm afraid of what people might say to me?

4:26 That I can't feel happy unless I think everyone loves me?

4:29 Is that what you want?

4:30 -Yes.

4:31 Wow.

4:31 Exactly that.

4:32 -Alright.

4:34 Okay.

4:35 I'm outside.

4:36 This isn't so bad.

4:39 Now I see why squirrels live out here.

4:41 -Hey, Mr.

4:41 Dinkins.

4:42 My dad says you suck.

4:44 -Well, the commercials for your dad's law firm are corny.

4:49 You too.

4:50 What's that kid even doing outside?

4:51 Should be on your phone!

4:53 Jamaican accent] I's Coach Donovan's assistant.

4:56 Name's Hubert.

4:57 Has him dropped off any dry cleaning lately?

5:01 -We agreed beforehand— No accents.

5:04 -You're doing an accent.

5:06 -He, uh, dropped off some stuff yesterday.

5:08 -Has these things gone out?

5:10 Bossman changed mind.

5:12 Him don't want to clean no more.

5:15 He want them dirty.

5:16 -Uh, maybe I should call Mr.

5:19 Donovan.

5:20 -Ross!

5:20 Him on to us, Ross.

5:23 I did a kids movie in the early 2000s.

5:26 It was like Space Jam, but with football and universal IP.

5:30 It's a day game.

5:32 So Dracula is not here.

5:33 There's no full moon.

5:34 So the Wolfman is just a dude.

5:37 And who knows where the Invisible Man is?

5:40 It's just us, Frankenstein's monster.

5:42 So let's get fired up!

5:44 -Fire.

5:45 Fire!

5:46 Bad.

5:48 Door crashes, wood splintering] -Strap in.

5:51 'Cause anything could happen.

5:54 Which one is the one I like?

5:56 I need my glasses.

5:58 Michelle Williams' living room is nice.

6:01 Let the dog choose, Judge Mathis!

6:06 Muttering, mumbling] Give her some personal space, Drew Barrymore.

6:13 -Uh, Reggie, this is actually totally anathema to my method,

6:16 but we have been in the house a lot.

6:18 Do you think you're gonna do anything today?

6:20 -Give me a break.

6:21 I'm just having a lazy Saturday morning.

6:23 -Okay, it's Monday afternoon.

6:24 -This evening, I will be attending the Lincoln Center Documentary Film Festival.

6:29 And you said, wherever I go, you go.

6:33 -God, I see what you're doing.

6:34 That film festival crowd won't have any idea who you are.

6:37 But they'll all know who I am.

6:38 You have hoist me, sir, by my own petard.

6:41 -Hey.

6:42 I know people are saying that word again.

6:44 I just don't like hearing it in this house.

6:48 When Arthur Tobin sees how bad it feels,

6:50 that little turd will shut up for good about me leaving the house.

6:54 -I'm right here.

6:55 And that's not true.

6:56 -Oh, yeah.

6:57 Kind of seems like you're dragging your feet

6:58 by doing a whole separate interview about it.

7:00 We were just talking over there.

7:02 -Okay, fine.

7:03 You win.

7:04 I'll go get changed.

7:05 -I was gonna say I'd be embarrassed to walk in with that.

7:08 -Okay.

7:09 -I can't figure out why Brina's mad at me.

7:13 There isn't any birthdays or anniversaries on the calendar.

7:18 All the toilet seats are down.

7:21 I didn't put any empty cartons back in the fridge,

7:25 and I haven't liked any full chested women's posts on Instagram.

7:30 I even asked her Auntie Sheila 'cause Brina tells her everything.

7:34 -Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you.

7:36 But let's talk about why you're taking my niece to that filthy church.

7:39 You know God don't like no— -She was busy.

7:42 -Some people aren't meant for real relationships.

7:46 You know, I'm a loner, and I will die alone.

7:50 -First of all, everyone dies alone.

7:52 Unless it's a Pompeii situation.

7:55 But you're not in Pompeii.

7:58 You're in Reggie Dinkins car with Reggie Dinkins,

8:01 who's been with you since the day you got here.

8:06 -Are you being nice or are you wiping fish grease on me?

8:08 -Two things can be true, Arthur Tobin.