Bridget Jones' Most Iconic Moments | Bridget Jones' Diary | Big Screen Laughs

0:01 So.

0:02 So.

0:05 Are you staying at your parents for New Year?

0:08 Yes.

0:08 Hm.

0:09 You?

0:09 Oh, no, no, no, no.

0:10 I was in London at a party last night, so I'm afraid I'm a bit hungover.

0:14 Wish I could be lying with my head in the toilet like all normal people.

0:19 [laughter]

0:20 New Year's resolution, drink less.

0:22 Oh, and quit smoking.

0:24 Hm.

0:26 Oh.

0:27 And keep New Year's resolutions.

0:32 [laughter]

0:32 Oh, and uh stop talking total nonsense to strangers.

0:37 In fact, stop talking, full stop.

0:40 Yes, well, perhaps it's time to eat.

0:44 Publicity.

0:45 Well, all I asked I only asked if you wanted to come on a mini break to Paris.

0:50 Daily call from Jude, best friend, head of investment at Brightling's Bank,

0:54 who spends most of her time trapped

0:55 in the ladies' toilet crying over[ __] boyfriend.

0:59 I'm like codependent.

1:01 No, you're not.

1:03 It's not you.

1:04 You're lovely.

1:05 It's vile Richard.

1:06 Oh, he's just a big knobhead with no knob.

1:11 Is some people's opinion of Kafka, but they couldn't be more wrong.

1:17 This book is a searing vision of the wounds

1:19 our century has inflicted on on traditional masculinity.

1:23 It's positively Vonnegutesque.

1:26 Thank you for calling, Professor Leavis.

1:29 Guest list for launch party.

1:34 The F.R.

1:36 Leavis.

1:38 Mhm.

1:40 Wow.

1:42 What?

1:43 The F.R.

1:44 Leavis who wrote Mass Civilisation and Minority Culture?

1:47 Mhm.

1:49 The The F.R.

1:50 Leavis who died in 1978?

2:03 Yes.

2:05 Oh, there it is.

2:07 What?

2:09 Oh, well, we could always go for that.

2:11 Oh, yeah.

2:28 But the only problem is the kitchen,

2:30 where frankly there isn't room to swing a Message, Mr.

2:34 Cleaver.

2:35 I'm appalled by message.

2:37 Skirt is demonstrably neither sick nor absent.

2:41 Appalled by management's blatantly sizeist attitude to skirt.

2:46 Suggest management sick, not skirt.

3:02 Right.

3:02 Yeah.

3:04 No, I understand that.

3:06 I understand that perfectly.

3:13 What is cute?

3:17 Ladies and gentlemen Welcome Let Ladies and Oi!

3:29 Oi!

3:31 Sorry, the uh mic's not work working.

3:37 Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the launch of Kafka's Motorcycle,

3:44 the greatest book of our time.

3:48 [applause] Obviously, except for your books, Mr.

3:55 Rushdie, which are also very good.

4:01 And Lord Archer, yours aren't bad, either.

4:07 Anyway, uh what I mean is uh welcome, ladies and gentlemen.

4:12 Thank you for coming to the launch of one

4:15 of the top 30 books of our time, anyway.

4:21 At least.

4:22 And here to introduce it properly is uh the man we all call uh Tits Pervert.

4:32 Mr.

4:33 Tits Pervert.

4:34 Mr.

4:37 Tits Pervert.

4:38 Fitzherbert.

4:39 Uh because that's is his name.

4:46 Mr.

4:46 Fitzherbert Thank you.

4:57 Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess with a very bad man between her thighs.

5:03 Mum.

5:04 Hi.

5:22 Hoorah!

5:23 I'm no longer tragic spinster, but proper girlfriend of bonafide a sex god.

5:29 So committed that he's taking me on a full-blown mini break holiday weekend.

5:35 Just promise me we don't have to sit in any

5:36 little boats and read poncy poetry to each other.

5:40 [music] He's also agreed to protect me at Uncle

5:41 Geoffrey's hideous Tarts and Vigars fancy dress party.

5:44 This can't be just shagging.

5:45 A mini break means true love.

5:49 Suddenly feel like [music] screen goddess in manner of Grace Kelly.

5:57 [music] Though perhaps ever so slightly less elegant under pressure.

6:04 It's very quiet here, isn't it?

6:05 Are we are we the only guests or We have a wedding this weekend.

6:09 I believe there are just four of you not involved.

6:12 Hm.

6:13 Hm.

6:17 Oh, well.

6:18 Here we go.

6:20 Trying hard to fight off a vision of Mum and Auntie Una in fishnet tights.

6:25 Seems unnatural, wrong even,

6:27 for 60-year-olds to dress up as prostitutes and priests on a Sunday afternoon.

6:35 Oh, holy Jesus.

6:38 Hold it right there, Ms.

6:39 Jones.

6:40 I'm sorry to inform you, but I think you'll find that by contract you

6:43 are expected to give at least 6 weeks' notice.

6:45 Ah, yes, well, you know,

6:47 I thought with the company being in so much trouble and all,

6:49 you wouldn't really miss the person who waltzes

6:51 in in a see-through top and fannies about with the press releases.

6:57 Bridget.

6:58 I want to hear this.

7:00 Cuz if she gives 1 in, I'm going to fire

7:01 her bony little bottom anyway for being totally spineless.

7:06 What?

7:07 Well, I just think you should know that um Simon you know,

7:10 there are lots of prospects here for a talented Yeah, just give me a minute.

7:12 What do you say, Simon?

7:13 Thanks.

7:14 I hope so, Simon.

7:16 Lots of prospects for a person who uh you know,

7:20 perhaps for personal reasons has been slightly overlooked professionally.

7:26 Thank you, Daniel.

7:27 That is very good to know.

7:29 But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you,

7:32 frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's ass.

7:36 Hey, Bridge.

7:38 How's your love life?

7:39 Oh.

7:40 Still going out with that publishing chappie?

7:43 Uh no.

7:44 No, Simon.

7:46 Never dip your nib in the office ink.

7:48 Right.

7:50 You really ought to hurry up and get sprogued up, you know, old girl.

7:54 Times are running out.

7:56 Tick-tock.

7:58 Yes, yes.

7:59 Uh tell me, is it one in four marriages that end in divorce now or one in three?

8:03 One in three.

8:05 Seriously, though.

8:07 Office is full of single girls in their 30s.

8:11 physical specimens, but they just can't seem to hold down a chap.

8:15 Yes, why is it there are so many

8:17 unmarried women in their 30s these days, Bridget?

8:25 Well, I don't know.

8:28 Suppose it doesn't help that underneath our clothes

8:31 our entire bodies are covered in scales.

8:35 [laughter] How's it look?

8:41 Uh great.

8:41 It's um blue.

8:44 Blue?

8:45 No, but blue is good.

8:48 If you ask me, there isn't enough blue blue.

8:49 Oh, [clears throat][ __] It must have been the string.

8:52 No, it's string suit.

8:54 So, I ask you now to charge your glasses once again to Mark and his Natasha.

9:00 To Mark No!

9:04 No!

9:09 It's just that it's such a terrible pity

9:17 for England to lose such a great legal brain.

9:24 She pissed what?

9:26 For the people of England like me and you to lose one of our top people,

9:35 our top person, really.