Trump Says He’s Taken Three Cognitive Tests, Tells Kids About Nuclear War: A Closer Look

0:02 -Gas prices continue to rise as major companies warn

0:04 of supply shortages that could grind the economy to a halt.

0:07 But don't worry, Donald Trump is laser focused on bringing

0:10 down prices and making life more affordable for working Americans.

0:13 And I'm just [bleep] you.

0:15 He's been bragging about acing a dementia test.

0:18 For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look." We

0:24 all know that if there's one thing Donald Trump cares about,

0:27 it's mental and physical well-being.

0:29 I mean, look at him.

0:30 The man is a specimen.

0:32 He is in peak physical condition.

0:34 Wait.

0:35 Sorry.

0:36 I'm being told that's the gold statue of Trump at his golf course.

0:38 Can we see the real Trump?

0:39 There we go.

0:41 The platonic ideal of masculinity.

0:44 He has the coloring of Zeus and the posture of the Michelin Man.

0:48 And we all know that in order to take care of your body,

0:50 you must first take care of your mind.

0:52 Which is why Trump always takes great pains to let us know his brain be good.

0:58 It be good.

1:01 In fact, he's bragged about it twice in just the past week.

1:04 -Anybody running for president or vice president should take a cognitive test.

1:08 And no president has ever taken one except me.

1:13 I've taken three of them, and I've aced each one.

1:16 I took three of them.

1:17 Aced all of them, by the way.

1:21 You know, I'm the only president— I'm

1:24 the only president to take a cognitive test.

1:27 -Because no one else has had to.

1:31 Whatever problems you might have with Barack Obama, no one ever thought,

1:35 "Are we sure he can identify all three

1:38 animals from these drawings?" If anything, Obama's too normal.

1:41 Dude's always showing up at basketball games,

1:43 making Netflix movies, singing to children with Zohran Mamdani.

1:47 I mean, there's no way Trump could sing "The Wheels on the Bus."

1:52 The best you would get is a 15-minute monologue about how wheels are good again,

1:57 after four years of bad wheels during the Biden administration.

2:00 "Children, I'm not lying.

2:01 The wheels were not going round and round under Sleepy

2:05 Joe Biden and the wipers were not going swish, swish, swish.

2:09 I'll tell you that much.

2:10 The only— But the kids were going— The babies were going wah, wah, wah.

2:15 The babies were sad that NATO wasn't paying their fair

2:19 share." And for anyone thinking, "Hey, come on, man,

2:22 he wouldn't say anything that dumb," he's actually

2:25 said way dumber [bleep] when it comes to wheels.

2:27 Remember, this is a guy who thought it was a genius insight

2:30 when he once noticed all the cars in the parking lot had wheels,

2:34 which, in his mind justified building a border wall.

2:38 -They say a wall is medieval.

2:40 Well, so is a wheel.

2:41 A wheel is older than a wall.

2:44 And I looked.

2:45 And every single car out there,

2:47 even the really expensive ones that the Secret Service uses,

2:51 and believe me, they are expensive, I said,

2:54 "Do they all have wheels?" "Yes." "Oh,

2:55 I thought it was medieval." -Just out of curiosity, when you ask someone,

3:00 "Do all the cars have wheels," was that when someone said to you,

3:04 "Hey, you want to take a cognitive test?

3:09 You'll be the first president we give

3:11 one to."[ Cheers and applause] And I'm sorry,

3:16 why would the really expensive cars be less likely to have wheels?

3:21 I mean, imagine if you had that conversation with a friend.

3:23 Like, how worried would you be about them if

3:27 you were telling a story and you said something like,

3:29 "So I'm in a parking lot full of cars." And then they interrupted and said,

3:31 "Did they all have wheels?" And you said,

3:35 "Yeah." And then they said, "Even the expensive ones?" I mean,

3:38 the next thing you'd ask them would be like,

3:40 "Do you by any chance smell burnt toast?" Also,

3:44 is it just me or is Trump making news

3:46 by announcing that he's now taken three cognitive tests?

3:49 Because that hasn't always been the number.

3:51 -I said, "Let me take the cognitive test," and I did.

3:54 I took two tests, cognitive tests.

3:56 I aced them, both of them.

3:57 I've taken now three cognitive tests.

4:00 -I think I know what happened here.

4:02 He took the first cognitive test and he passed it,

4:03 and he thinks that makes him a genius.

4:05 So now every time he goes to the doctor, he offers to take another one.

4:09 "Let's go again.

4:10 If you guys want to know which one is the camel, I'm your guy." I mean,

4:14 it's already pretty alarming to find out

4:16 that the president's doctors keep giving him cognitive tests,

4:18 but his description of the process is even more concerning.

4:22 -When I got the score in the test, the doctor said,

4:26 "Wow, I've never seen"— you know, you have five doctors lined up.

4:28 They're all over the place.

4:30 -I'm sorry, so wait a minute.

4:31 One doctor said, "I've never seen that," and suddenly

4:34 there were five doctors in the room?

4:36 Usually that means you're about to have a disease named after you.

4:41 "Did you hear about Dorothy?" "No.

4:42 What happened?" "They think she has Trumposis." Seriously,

4:45 you have five doctors who are all watching

4:48 you take a cognitive test and you're not concerned?

4:50 If I go for a standard physical and my doctor calls in a second doctor,

4:54 I immediately call my wife to say goodbye.

4:57 So please just describe the scene.

4:58 When this team of five doctors is watching you,

5:01 are they wearing lab coats and standing behind glass?

5:03 Do you have electrodes attached to your body?

5:05 Are they giving you a puzzle to solve?

5:06 Is the other patient in the room a gorilla?

5:10 "I remember Koko came up to me.

5:12 Big Koko, strong Koko,

5:15 tears pouring from her big brown eyes down onto her prominent teats.

5:21 And she gave me one of these.

5:23 She did this.

5:23 And then she gave me one of these and she gave me one of these.

5:27 But I don't speak gorilla,

5:28 so I don't know what she meant." But if it's concerning to you

5:32 that the president has now taken three cognitive

5:34 tests surrounded by teams of doctors, don't worry.

5:36 He put us at ease with this astute observation.

5:40 -Drug traffic coming into our country is way down.

5:43 And by sea, by sea, by ocean, by the water— You know,

5:48 a lot of people say, "What do you mean by sea?

5:50 Is it see like vision?" "No, it's sea.

5:52 S-E-A." -[Bleep] off, not one person has said that to you.

5:57 Not one person has said,

5:58 "What do you mean by sea?" Mostly because "by see, S-E-E," isn't an expression.

6:04 That's not another way to say you saw or recognize someone.

6:08 "How did you know that was your sweater?" "Oh,

6:10 I recognized it by see."[ Laughter] "By see?"

6:17 When Paul Revere was on his midnight ride, shouting, "One if by land,

6:20 two if by sea," there wasn't one Boston [bleep] saying,

6:22 "What do you mean by see?

6:25 You mean they're [bleep] looking at us?

6:27 I'm fine with that." This is not the first time Trump has noticed

6:32 the intricate spelling of a one-syllable word and thought he was a genius.

6:37 -You know how you spell us, right?

6:40 You spell us U-S.

6:43 I just picked that up.

6:45 Has anyone ever thought of that before?

6:46 I just picked that up.

6:50 Laughter] -I don't think any of us had to think of that.

6:59 You just picked that up?

7:01 Even the kids in the classroom with Obama knew that.

7:04 But for some reason, Trump is just so proud that he knows words.

7:08 The same words you learn in kindergarten.

7:10 -You spell us U-S.

7:12 Sea, S-E-A.

7:13 Whole milk, and its whole with a W.

7:20 Laughter] -So Trump clearly cares about mental health,

7:26 which is why it's alarming that his health secretary is trying to make

7:29 it harder for people to get access to antidepressants, although RFK Jr.

7:32 probably just wants people to take cognitive

7:34 tests to prove their sanity, like Trump.

7:37 -The first question is very easy,

7:38 and they always show— The first question is you have a lion,

7:43 a bear, an alligator, and a what's another good— a squirrel.

7:48 Okay?

7:49 "Which is the squirrel?" The first question is very easy.

7:53 It's a lion, a giraffe, a bear, and a shark.

7:57 They say, "Which one is the bear?" -Oh,

7:59 man, when RFK heard that, his mouth was watering.

8:02 That list sounds like the menu at his favorite restaurant.

8:05 "I have eaten all the animals.

8:08 Giraffe meat is high in peptides and squirrel meat is high in antitoxin.

8:14 Shark meat is high in vitamin A.

8:16 That's why I have such beautiful shark eyes."[ Laughter] The point is,

8:22 Trump cares about mental health, but he cares about physical health, too.

8:25 And he made that clear with a very important

8:27 and very normal event at the Oval Office this week.

8:30 -President Donald Trump is bringing

8:32 back the Presidential Physical Fitness Award,

8:34 reviving a once-familiar gym class test for students across America.

8:39 He held an event, as you can see,

8:40 at the White House today with children and famous athletes.

8:43 -The White House gets physical.

8:45 President Trump brings back the Presidential Fitness Test Awards.

8:49 And he brought out some dance moves.

8:51 What do you want to be?

8:53 I said young man♪ -I mean, in fairness,

8:57 that dance is the closest Trump has ever come to working out.

9:00 It makes him look like he's on an imaginary elliptical.

9:05 The dancing was harmless.

9:07 What might have been a little more concerning was what

9:10 Trump chose to discuss with the kids in the Oval Office.

9:13 He could have discussed the importance of mental and physical health,

9:15 or the importance of education.

9:16 Instead, he thought it was a good time to discuss in detail the war with Iran.

9:22 -We have to make a journey down to Iran to take the nuclear weapon.

9:26 They would have had a nuclear weapon in— within two weeks.

9:30 Remember, we sent that beautiful B-2 bomber in and we,

9:34 uh, we blew up their nuclear potential.

9:37 It was obliterated.

9:39 So we would have had a— an Iran with a nuclear weapon.

9:44 And maybe we wouldn't all be here right now.

9:47 I can tell you, the Middle East would have been gone,

9:49 Israel would have been gone,

9:50 and they would have trained their sights on Europe first and then us.

9:54 Because they're sick people.

9:56 These are sick people.

9:58 And we're not going to let lunatics have a nuclear weapon.

10:01 The power of a nuclear weapon is something I don't even want to talk about.

10:06 It's not going to happen.

10:07 And we have beaten them badly.

10:10 They're talking.

10:12 Oh, now they're reduced to little boats with a machine gun on the front of them,

10:15 because they had a navy of 159 ships.

10:18 Every single ship in the first week was— right, Pete?

10:22 Every single ship they had is gone.

10:25 Resting underwater right at the bottom of the sea.

10:29 They have no navy.

10:30 It's totally wiped out.

10:32 Same thing with their air force.

10:33 So we're doing well.

10:36 -Yeah.

10:38 Laughter] Yeah, I think we're doing real well.

10:43 Those poor kids have never been more bored by hear or by see.

10:49 Laughter] This is why— This is why many families

10:55 have a rule that Grandpa's not allowed to babysit.

10:58 Yeah, he turned off "Paw Patrol" and made them watch "Platoon" again.

11:02 "They gotta learn." Seriously, why is he so weird?

11:06 I mean, let's compare Trump's behavior

11:07 around school children to Obama and Mamdani.

11:10 The wheels on the bus go round and round♪ -They

11:14 would have had a nuclear weapon in— within two weeks.

11:18 -Of course, it would be nice if instead

11:20 of bragging about dementia tests and other stuff,

11:23 this president spent his time talking about bringing down

11:26 prices and making life more affordable for working Americans.

11:28 But that stuff is boring.

11:29 And that's why when it comes to his polling, he's in a very big...

11:32 -Whole.

11:34 Laughter] -But spelled how?

11:39 This has been "A Closer Look."♪♪