Sanjaya, Laura Dern, Julia Loius-Dreyfus | Full Episode

0:01 [cheering] [cheering] [screaming]

0:11 Thank you very Thank you.

0:18 [cheering]

0:18 THANK YOU VERY I'LL SAY [cheering] THANK YOU.

0:22 OH, COME ON.

0:32 [cheering]

0:31 HAVE A SEAT.

0:33 HAVE A SEAT.

0:37 [cheering]

0:37 OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

0:38 TAKE SOME OF THAT PUT IT ON your answering machine

0:40 so that it says leave a MESSAGE AFTER THE OH,

0:46 I'M I'M IN A GOOD MOOD BECAUSE I JUST got You know,

0:48 all this time I've been wearing a mic pack that has

0:49 a gigantic antenna up my back with a satellite dish on it

0:53 and I I just learned that there's one this big and I

0:57 for the first time today I I in the this Anyway, I'm excited.

1:03 [laughter] I'm excited.

1:04 Okay, here's the thing I want to say and I

1:06 think I'm going to speak for a lot of people here.

1:08 It's nice when you when you are getting

1:10 your messages and when someone leaves a nice message.

1:13 It's nice.

1:13 If somebody calls and they just want to say hi or you know,

1:16 they still haven't received my payment.

1:17 Whatever it is I like when they leave a message.

1:21 That's nice.

1:21 But don't leave the long rambling messages

1:23 like you're the only one leaving the message.

1:26 Is that rude?

1:27 I mean just people and they have the best intentions.

1:29 You know, hi Ellen, this is Tracy.

1:31 I'm just calling to tell you about that cookie recipe.

1:33 I don't know if you want it or not,

1:34 but it seemed like you were really enjoying the cookies.

1:37 So since you enjoyed them so much,

1:38 I thought maybe if you have a party or something like

1:40 that you'd want the the recipes for that and they're good, aren't they?

1:44 Those are good cookies.

1:46 I enjoyed them too.

1:47 Anyway, the recipe is three eggs and a cup of sugar and um a pinch

1:52 of flour and then a third cup of beep and then it runs out.

1:56 Like your machine got so bored it cut the person off.

2:00 And then they have to call back to let you know uh your machine cut me off.

2:04 Really?

2:04 I had no idea.

2:06 I thought maybe you fell into a trapdoor OR SOMETHING LIKE TRACY!

2:10 ANYWAY, so then they get right back into it.

2:13 Anyway, I was saying a cup of butter and and then a secret ingredient.

2:18 And let me tell you something and I'm serious about this.

2:20 This is the taste and the texture.

2:22 All that comes from this secret ingredient.

2:25 I mean when I first heard about it,

2:26 I was like I can't believe somebody's putting that in cookies.

2:30 Is that legal?

2:30 I was shocked.

2:31 I mean I was as startled as an orangutan crawling through a beep.

2:35 WHAT?

2:38 [laughter]

2:37 NOW YOU HAVE THREE MESSAGES and an unfinished analogy about an orangutan.

2:42 The only thing worse than that is if you get those messages and sometimes you

2:45 get them on a cell phone where it's like it it's not a message at all.

2:48 It's just like like shuffling around and sounds

2:51 and breathing and then they just hang up.

2:56 [laughter] And you're just listening trying to be like a Columbo.

2:58 You're trying to figure out did they have the phone in the pocket

3:01 and hit something and it's just moving around in their pocket?

3:04 Are they in a car?

3:05 It sounds like a car.

3:07 Are the windows down or is that a sunroof?

3:09 Sounds like they're near a train station.

3:11 Who lives near a train station?

3:13 Those must be eucalyptus leaves cuz oak trees don't move that way.

3:17 What's that music?

3:19 That's the Captain and Tennille.

3:22 Who would be driving around listening to the Captain and Tennille?

3:25 Maybe the Captain or Tennille.

3:28 I don't know them.

3:30 Whoever it is, I'm going to call them back later cuz first I have to dance.

3:34 [cheering] [cheering] [cheering] [cheering]

3:55 [cheering] [cheering] [cheering] [cheering] [cheering]

4:25 [cheering and applause] [cheering] [music]

4:40 [cheering] [cheering] [cheering] [applause] [cheering] OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

5:08 There are a couple things I look forward to every single day.

5:11 One is I like dancing with all of you.

5:13 I love it.

5:15 [applause and cheering] I thank you for that.

5:21 I like getting a spray tan and I like to show off my viewer art.

5:27 Randy Stovall in Preston sent this tiny tiny sculptor of me.

5:34 So so tiny.

5:35 Try to take a look at uh I'm so tiny.

5:41 Look at the button on my There's a a huge button though on my

5:47 [laughter]

5:47 And look at the back how flat right there.

5:53 I call this one this is baby butt got no back and uh

5:58 [laughter]

5:57 big button on front, no butt on back.

6:00 All right, this is from uh Oh, two paintings.

6:03 This is from Don Tarr in Snow Hill, Maryland.

6:06 Don has been featured in viewer art before.

6:09 We used her painting in the title card actually.

6:11 Let's see her next work.

6:13 Um this is my dog Pig that she painted.

6:18 And she said this was inspired.

6:20 This is actually really good.

6:22 It was inspired by a monologue I did about

6:24 Pig eating a bowl of parmesan cheese off the table.

6:27 We showed a picture of Pig during

6:28 that monologue that Where's the picture of Pig?

6:31 That's Pig.

6:33 And let's see him together.

6:34 She did a good job.

6:36 That's great.

6:37 And I think the artist really captured Pig's guilt for eating all that cheese.

6:42 I call this painting I'm sorry now please let

6:44 me back in so I can eat something else.

6:47 [laughter] All right, and then she sent this one as well.

6:50 This is me.

6:54 [laughter] Yes, exactly.

6:57 This is me going over a coffee table and uh This is

7:02 our other dog Wolf right here and Pig looks more like

7:05 a cartoon character on strings kind of like Porky Pig and uh

7:10 So and it looks like it's so that Pig is a puppet.

7:12 I call this one yeah, I'm not going to make it over those flowers.

7:18 [cheering] [laughter]

7:20 All right, and then we have one more from uh Who's this one?

7:26 Uh Paulette Washington in Fort Myers,

7:28 Florida and uh This is a very impressive cuz it's a drawing and this is hard.

7:36 I mean if you're an artist any but I don't you know,

7:38 I don't know how she got that pose.

7:40 I sat like that in season 1.

7:43 That's I didn't realize I wanted to try

7:45 something different cuz there's so many talk shows.

7:47 I thought what if I sit on the back of the chair, you know?

7:49 And I would interview people like that.

7:51 Where were you on the night of November 5th?

7:52 Kind of interrogating them.

7:54 I call this act one of my one-woman show.

7:57 That's what I entitled that.

7:59 Um all right, so that's all, right Paulette?

8:02 She sent a letter though.

8:03 Um She says, "Dear Ellen, I would love to see my art in your gallery.

8:08 I enjoy your show and whenever I watch,

8:11 I store the stuff you do in my mind's mini movie

8:14 machine and I crack up laughing all day long." Um Paulette,

8:18 I'm glad you like to watch me in your mind's mini movie machine.

8:21 Uh I know what you're talking about cuz I

8:23 have a mind's mini movie machine going on also.

8:27 I don't know if you can see it right now.

8:28 Let's see if you can see what's going on in my my mind right now.

8:34 Oh.

8:35 You're thinking about my dog Pig.

8:40 All right, let's put the machine on other people's heads

8:41 in the audience and I want to see what they're thinking about.

8:44 Uh Uh Uh Obviously, you're worried you left

8:52 the iron on or uh It'll be okay, ma'am.

8:55 You're fine.

8:57 Let's find somebody else see what they're thinking about.

9:01 No.

9:02 Oh.

9:05 I don't know what to say about that.

9:06 You're It's a beaver eating an ice cream cone.

9:10 That's it's cute and disturbing.

9:14 Uh I don't know about that.

9:16 Let's see what else.

9:19 No.

9:22 [laughter] [applause] Wow.

9:36 Hi.

9:37 [applause]

9:37 Never would have thought you were thinking about that, ma'am.

9:39 That's uh I have one more piece of artwork to show everybody.

9:46 Now here's the thing.

9:47 I I keep attempting I drew Gladys recently and I'm starting to work on my art.

9:52 I'm not that good, but I'm not that good of a drawer.

9:55 Uh but I've been practicing my painting and I think it looks very lifelike.

9:58 Uh, let's bring out my masterpiece.

10:00 Let's I I want to show you what I'm doing here.

10:05 Thank you, Robert.

10:05 Of course, one of the men of Ellen, Robert.

10:09 Thank you.

10:10 All right.

10:11 Uh, so I made a portrait to show you who's on the show today.

10:14 And uh, so I hope you like it.

10:16 I think it looks pretty good.

10:17 Uh, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is on the show.

10:20 Look at that.

10:22 [cheering and applause] SHE STARS IN THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE.

10:28 [cheering] [applause]

10:33 YEAH.

10:36 [applause] VERY LIFELIKE.

10:36 ALSO ON THE SHOW [laughter] [cheering] SHE'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THAT.

10:41 Also on the show, LAURA DERN IS HERE.

10:46 [cheering and applause] SHE'S GOT TWO MOVIES, YEAR OF THE DOG and Inland Empire.

10:51 [applause] I love when she's [cheering] here.

10:53 She was in a sad uh you know,

10:55 kind of she was contemplating life when I when I painted her that day.

10:58 She was very thoughtful and pensive.

11:01 Uh, and from American Idol, uh the one and only SANJAYA IS HERE.

11:06 [cheering] [applause] SANJAYA!

11:13 [cheering] YES!

11:17 [applause]

11:21 ALL RIGHT, DON'T GO AWAY.

11:22 WE'LL BE WE'LL BE BACK WITH SANJAYA RIGHT AFTER THIS.

11:26 OUR NEXT GUEST IS PERHAPS THE MOST [applause

11:27 and cheering] TALKED about American Idol contestant ever.

11:30 His wild journey finally came to an end last week.

11:32 Take a look.

11:33 We have a crying girl in the audience.

11:35 Did you notice her?

11:36 Yeah, she's uh she's very upset.

11:40 She's so upset.

11:41 She's right up there.

11:42 She She can't believe it.

11:44 Yeah.

11:45 She's very sad.

11:48 So uh are you surprised that that it ended?

11:50 I mean Well, I mean, everyone had their time to go.

11:54 Mhm.

11:55 And it was mine, so Did you feel it was your time to go?

11:58 Or had you had you Cuz here's what I noticed about you all the time.

12:01 You went through so much, and no matter what anybody says,

12:04 you're you were so happy and and you smiled and you

12:08 were confident and you you weren't nervous or you didn't worry.

12:11 You went into this and you had a great attitude.

12:14 No matter what anybody says,

12:15 I like seeing that you were that happy all the time.

12:17 But did you week to week go this I could be gone any day?

12:22 I I Sometimes I'd get like my confidence would go down or whatever,

12:27 but this was the one week that I really felt like I was going home.

12:31 Why is that?

12:32 I I don't know.

12:33 I watched on Tuesday and I mean, I'm not a country singer.

12:36 I never claimed to be No.

12:38 I I I probably never will be.

12:41 I tried to go as much blues as I possibly could.

12:45 Right.

12:44 But um I just I just tried to go out there and have fun

12:48 every week and And and when you say that, how I mean, you know,

12:51 you're what, 17 years old, and you're getting so much attention and so much,

12:55 you know, people deciding about you and they like you, don't like you, Simon.

13:00 How do you How do you handle that?

13:03 Um I just try to take everything and turn it into a positive if I can.

13:06 And and I try to learn from everything that I that I can.

13:09 And if I don't, then I mean, there's some very creative haters out there.

13:14 Yes.

13:14 up some really really good stuff about me.

13:17 Yeah.

13:17 Like what?

13:18 I I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but [laughter]

13:22 But it didn't get Did it get to you?

13:23 No, cuz I mean, if you let it get to you, then you'll fail and you'll

13:29 you'll go crazy.

13:30 It is.

13:31 Yeah.

13:31 So now, when you heard about this Howard Stern thing where

13:33 he was getting people to vote for you for the wrong reasons,

13:37 what did you How long ago did you learn about that?

13:40 Pretty much when it first started.

13:41 Really?

13:42 Yeah.

13:42 Yeah.

13:43 And and how did that feel?

13:44 I I was fine with it cuz honestly,

13:47 anyone who's going to vote for me because Howard Stern told

13:50 them to isn't going to vote more than like twice, maybe.

13:54 And so that's not going to make a dent in Right.

13:56 the system, so felt confident to your fan, you know, your viewers.

13:59 Yeah.

14:00 I was definitely where I was because of my fans.

14:02 Nice.

14:02 And so and your your hair,

14:04 did you always before you got into this, did you love playing with it

14:07 and changing it Did you go through lots of hairstyles before you were on TV,

14:10 or did this just kind of bring it out in you?

14:12 Actually, I never did anything to my hair.

14:15 I I didn't care what my hair looked like before I came on this.

14:19 And then you just started having fun playing with it.

14:21 Well, I had people to do it for me, so it [laughter] made it a lot easier.

14:25 And what do you think you'll do now?

14:26 Do you think you'll keep changing it up like you did before,

14:28 or do you think you're going to leave it like that?

14:30 Um I think I'll definitely change it up cuz it's fun.

14:33 I mean, to have people mess with your hair

14:36 and then have it look all all crazy every week.

14:39 Yeah.

14:39 It's fun.

14:40 Yeah, that was uh that was the mohawk was really crazy.

14:44 That was really crazy.

14:45 Who do you think um who do you think is going to win the the show?

14:48 I honestly have no idea because it's so unpredictable cuz it's Mhm.

14:53 at this point, everyone can sing.

14:55 And that's a given cuz they're this far.

14:58 So it's really how good they do each week and how many fans they get.

15:02 And so it'll be interesting to see.

15:05 Yeah.

15:05 And your favorite is who?

15:07 My favorite is you, Ellen.

15:09 Oh, thank you.

15:11 You know how to play the GAME ALREADY.

15:13 [cheering] GOOD.

15:14 GOOD.

15:16 [applause]

15:15 ALL RIGHT.

15:16 UH YOU CAN CATCH THE Idol Gives Back special

15:20 next week on Fox Tuesday and Wednesday at 8:00,

15:23 and I have just signed on to host that.

15:25 So I'll be there with with Ryan.

15:27 So [cheering] we'll be back with Julia Louis-Dreyfus [applause] after this.

15:30 Don't go away.

15:31 Um I want to clear something up.

15:35 I just said something that was not correct.

15:37 Uh the Idol Gives Back and the results show

15:40 uh are this Wednesday on Fox and I think 8:00.

15:44 I'm not sure.

15:44 Don't even trust me anymore.

15:45 I have no idea what I'm saying.

15:47 But I am hosting the Idol Gives Back and Ryan's hosting the results show,

15:50 and that's this Wednesday night on Fox.

15:52 Our first guest is a two-time Emmy Award-winning

15:54 actress and the star of CBS's hit show,

15:57 The New Adventures of Old Christine.

15:59 Please welcome back Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

16:03 [cheering] [screaming] [cheering] [cheering] [cheering]

16:20 All right, so good to see you.

16:22 Haven't seen you since the the Golden Globes.

16:24 That's right.

16:25 You stopped and talked to me, and I appreciate it very much.

16:27 Well, I appreciated seeing a friend on the carpet.

16:29 It was really nice.

16:30 It was hilarious that bit you did.

16:32 Yeah.

16:32 Well, I I can't get away cuz I'm doing this, so

16:34 I send my cardboard cutout to as many things as I can.

16:37 And it's interesting cuz even though it was a cardboard cutout,

16:40 I felt comfortable and cozy talking to it.

16:43 Yeah.

16:43 Well, I'm very similar to cardboard.

16:46 Yes.

16:46 So uh yeah, I'm glad.

16:49 [laughter]

16:48 So hey So Sanjaya is here, and uh are you a fan of American Idol?

16:51 I'm a huge fan of American Idol.

16:53 Gigantic.

16:54 too.

16:54 Yeah.

16:55 You know, when you did that bit with the crying in the audience,

16:57 when we were watching that when it first happened,

17:00 and I was watching with my son, and he kept looking at me.

17:02 He goes, "Mom, what's happening?

17:04 What's happening?" And I said,

17:05 "She's crying because she loves him." And he said,

17:07 "But wait, what What is she doing?

17:09 What What What's happening?" He absolutely didn't understand.

17:12 he?

17:13 He's nine.

17:14 Nine.

17:14 He's nine.

17:14 So he doesn't understand the weeping with love thing yet.

17:17 Right.

17:18 Right.

17:18 He wasn't around Well,

17:19 the the Beatles had started with the Beatles, and now Sanjaya.

17:22 Right, exactly.

17:23 And uh

17:25 [laughter]

17:25 Who uh Who are you Who do you think is going to win?

17:29 It's going to be Melinda Doolittle.

17:30 You think for sure?

17:33 [cheering] YEAH.

17:33 WHO'S IT GOING TO GET down to?

17:36 [applause] I don't know who it's going to get down to.

17:38 But I I mean, if I'm going to Melinda Doolittle,

17:41 in my estimation, is a cut above.

17:44 She's good.

17:44 And I'll tell you something.

17:45 I have the name for her first album.

17:48 Oh, what is it?

17:49 Doolittle does a lot.

17:53 [laughter] That's great.

17:53 Yes.

17:54 Yeah.

17:55 [applause and cheering] Maybe I should produce it for her.

17:57 I think you should.

17:58 know anything about the record business, but I have a feeling I could do it.

18:01 You've got the name.

18:01 That's the the name.

18:02 That's most of it right there.

18:04 So you have pictures that I'm going to I can't wait to see these pictures.

18:07 You went to the Galapago Galapago Galapagos Galapagos Islands.

18:11 Yes.

18:12 And a couple weeks ago, and um we had the most fantastic time.

18:16 The Galapagos Islands are a national national park off the coast of Ecuador.

18:21 And they're famous for um uh it's where

18:24 Darwin sort of formulated his theory of evolution.

18:28 And on each island is a separate species of animal.

18:31 It's You would love it.

18:33 Yeah.

18:33 I mean, love it.

18:34 Yeah.

18:34 And um and I [clears throat] went with my family,

18:38 and we got some pictures of wildlife.

18:40 And you get super super close to these animals

18:42 because they're not threatened um cuz they're protected.

18:45 And they're doing their thing.

18:46 They're mating dances and and making Seriously,

18:50 and making nests and Oh, it's just it's

18:53 What Let me Let me see the pictures.

18:54 I can't wait.

18:55 Okay.

18:55 Well, this First picture is a blue-footed booby.

18:57 Uh-huh.

18:59 There's no need to call it names, but go ahead.

19:02 [laughter] Isn't it cute?

19:02 Look at its little feet.

19:03 And this picture with the All these pictures

19:05 were taken by my friend Steve Stroud.

19:07 And um that's a blue-footed booby, whom I just love.

19:10 It looks like a cartoon character.

19:12 Yes.

19:12 And then the next picture we've got is another booby.

19:14 That's a red-footed booby.

19:17 [laughter] I didn't know there were two different kinds of boobies.

19:18 There actually I got news for you.

19:23 I got news for you, woman.

19:24 There are three different kinds of boobies.

19:26 Really?

19:28 All right.

19:29 And then uh this last picture that we've

19:31 got is two blue-footed boobies doing a mating dance.

19:35 And

19:36 that would be the male doing the whole all the work, right?

19:39 Yes.

19:39 The male is is uh flexing his muscle on the right,

19:42 and the female is going stomping her feet back and forth

19:46 like this to let him know that she digs him very

19:48 is interested.

19:50 All right.

19:50 This These two are an item.

19:52 They're an item, these two.

19:53 Aw, that's cute.

19:54 Aren't they cute?

19:54 That's a great couple.

19:55 Yeah.

19:56 All right.

19:57 Yeah, really.

19:57 Wonderful couple.

19:58 That's great.

19:59 Yeah, it was a fantastic trip.

20:01 see that.

20:01 Those are two cute boobies.

20:05 [laughter]

20:04 Oh, why, thank you.

20:08 So, and how far away is that?

20:10 How long a trip?

20:11 It [clears throat] takes forever to get there.

20:12 You fly from LA to Well, I mean, if you live in California, that is to say.

20:17 You go from LA to Miami and Miami to Quito,

20:19 she's in Ecuador, and then from Quito you fly out to the islands.

20:22 So, it's a bit of a trek, but it's well worth it.

20:24 And I encourage anybody who's interested in nature to do it.

20:27 Well, you have to like flying, though.

20:28 So, you must not mind flying.

20:30 Um No, I don't mind flying,

20:32 although recently and we flew American Airlines and on American they're

20:37 showing um they're showing clips of my show actually not clips,

20:42 they're showing whole episodes,

20:44 which is very kind of odd when you're sitting there and then

20:47 people around you and and I the last time I flew

20:50 I and I'm the kind of flyer who likes I get

20:53 into my seat and I sort of like to I don't know,

20:55 not acknowledge the person next to me in a way.

20:58 Mhm.

20:58 I and I know that sounds rude, but I don't mean I'm rude to them,

21:01 but I just sort of like stick to my book

21:03 and and try to sort of create a barrier.

21:05 Yeah.

21:06 And particularly if it's a long flight, but anyway,

21:08 I sat down and I'm starting to read my magazine and the guy

21:11 next to me leans in and he goes, "How do you do?

21:13 I'm Keith." And I thought, "Oh my god,

21:16 this is going to be a long 6 hours." And and I said, "Oh, hi, how are you?

21:19 I'm Julia." And he says, "So." And I try to sort of be nice,

21:22 but again, sort of create a little thing.

21:25 Anyway, then they show they start to show

21:27 my show or it says up and coming up next

21:30 and it was The New Adventures of Old Christine

21:31 and he leans over to me and he goes,

21:33 "Well, we're going to get a lot of you today."

21:38 [cheering]

21:38 And so then what happened is they started

21:41 showing the show and I'm reading my book,

21:44 but I become I become very invested in Keith's reaction to the show.

21:50 Sure.

21:50 But I don't want him to know that cuz I don't know him and I

21:52 don't want to sort of give him that, if you know what I mean.

21:54 And so I'm but I'm sort of watching him out

21:56 of the corner of my eye to see if he's laughing.

21:58 And he was laughing, which made me feel good, you know?

22:01 And then um and then the the stewardess came by or the flight attendant came up

22:06 with the drinks and stuff and it was right at a critical point of the show.

22:11 Aw.

22:12 And it was one of those shows that sort of pivots on one comedic moment.

22:16 He missed the whole thing.

22:18 Missed it.

22:20 Aw.

22:19 And so then I'm like devastated cuz now I think Keith hates my show.

22:23 Aw.

22:24 See, I I understand what you I would have gotten

22:26 up and blocked the woman and acted like, you know,

22:28 until that moment passed and then let the the cart come because Well,

22:32 I should have just told I I should have acted it out for him.

22:35 That's what I should have done.

22:36 If if Keith is watching now, what's the name of the episode he was watching?

22:40 Um that particular episode was the one with Scott Bakula

22:44 and it has a big if anyone hasn't seen it,

22:47 I don't want to give it away, but it's he he's he's I think he's one person,

22:51 he turns out to be somebody completely different at the end of the show.

22:53 That's what he missed.

22:54 All right, so Keith, watch that if you can, but that's uh [laughter]

22:58 All right, we have a you have a talent we're going to see, I think.

23:02 I think, right?

23:03 Oh, yeah, I was going to We'll we'll take a break and we're going to cuz

23:06 we have a segment called Look at You

23:08 and we'll be back with that with Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

23:12 [applause]

23:11 THAT'S JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS [cheering] AND THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE.

23:17 ALL RIGHT.

23:20 [applause] Before I ask you about that episode, let's see this talent.

23:22 It It sounds like it hurts.

23:24 It doesn't hurt at all.

23:25 Where do I do it?

23:25 Right here into this camera?

23:26 Sure.

23:27 All right, here we go.

23:32 [laughter] [cheering] [applause] That doesn't hurt?

23:37 No.

23:39 [applause] I don't know what it means when I do that.

23:41 How do How do you discover you can do something like that?

23:43 I don't remember what happened.

23:45 I just started doing it.

23:46 I have no idea.

23:47 Yeah.

23:47 Must be a left brain, right brain thing.

23:49 It's I'm sure it's probably good for you somehow for your brain to do that.

23:52 Do you think?

23:53 Yeah.

23:53 Yeah.

23:53 All right, I'll start doing it more often then.

23:56 Yeah.

23:56 All right, so that episode has something to do with a wedding, right?

24:00 It does.

24:00 Yes.

24:02 Something [laughter] bad happens at that wedding.

24:05 Yeah.

24:05 And I go with my best [clears throat] friend,

24:08 Barb, played by the wonderful Wanda Sykes,

24:10 and my ex-husband and we go to this wedding

24:13 and I'm the designated driver, so I can't drink.

24:15 Aw.

24:16 And so they drink and then things happen.

24:19 And let's just say it doesn't end well.

24:22 No.

24:23 No, it ends very badly.

24:24 Then it doesn't end well after it ends bad?

24:27 Does it turn around?

24:28 Uh no, nothing turns around, but you'll be laughing.

24:30 Okay, good.

24:31 All right.

24:32 At me.

24:33 Okay.

24:35 [laughter] All right, so and and speaking of weddings,

24:36 you and your husband, Brad, are celebrating your 20th Yes.

24:39 year anniversary.

24:42 Yes.

24:42 20 years.

24:45 [applause] 20 years, how about that?

24:46 That's impressive.

24:47 Look at that.

24:48 All right, well [applause] as you know, 20 years is is China.

24:53 You know that probably already.

24:54 So, uh Uh-oh.

24:56 what I'm going to give you for your I know, it's fancy.

25:01 Very nice.

25:03 Oh.

25:03 WE HAVE ELLEN CHINA.

25:06 [screaming] THIS

25:08 [cheering]

25:08 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS BECAUSE [applause] LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

25:12 DO YOU KNOW WHAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S UNCANNY about this, Ellen?

25:14 What is it?

25:15 What's uncanny about this is this is what I registered for.

25:19 Isn't that weird?

25:21 Yeah, that is so odd.

25:22 Well, you've got a few sets to start you out.

25:24 Oh, that is so nice.

25:26 everybody else can get you going with uh Can you get somewhere else?

25:31 See how nice this is, everybody?

25:32 This is a dream come true.

25:35 Yeah.

25:36 [applause] It's really nice.

25:37 That's a lovely picture of you.

25:38 Thank you.

25:40 Thank you so much.

25:41 Try to keep the food off my face.

25:43 Put the food more like on my shoulders and stuff like that.

25:46 Right.

25:46 Well, I have a china cabinet, too, so I'll just display it all.

25:49 I can't wait to come over and see it.

25:52 [laughter] It's fantastic.

25:53 pictures next time you come back.

25:55 If you're going to take pictures of the boobies,

25:57 you might as well take pictures Yeah, of your plates.

26:00 All right, The New Adventures of Old Christine airs Mondays at 8:30

26:03 on CBS and it's a hilarious show and you're very, very funny.

26:07 Thanks for being here.

26:08 Laura Dern's going to be out here when we [applause] come back.

26:10 [cheering] Don't go away.

26:11 PLEASE WELCOME BACK MY FRIEND, Laura Dern.

26:16 [music] [cheering] [music] Hi, Laura.

26:36 Hey.

26:37 I'm so happy to see you.

26:38 happy to see you, too.

26:39 Last time you were here, you were pregnant.

26:41 I was very pregnant, in fact.

26:43 So, how old is the is the little thing that that She's two.

26:46 That little the little thing that came out.

26:48 that came out of you.

26:49 She's two?

26:49 She's two.

26:50 Wow.

26:51 I know.

26:51 believe it's been that long since I've seen you.

26:53 So, you have a two-year-old and a and a five and a half-year-old now.

26:56 And he's a boy.

26:57 Yeah.

26:58 And and his name is Ellery.

26:59 And then you got married to Ben Harper since then.

27:02 You were you were with Ben and now you're married.

27:04 Yes.

27:05 Oh, brilliant musician, Ben Harper.

27:07 Beautiful Ben Harper.

27:08 All right, so what's the [applause] uh So, and and the little the little boy

27:14 is now he was into frogs and stuff before.

27:16 Yes.

27:17 And he is into what now?

27:19 Well, he's gone into the five-year-old obsession with larger life snakes,

27:24 now into dinosaurs, fascinated with dinosaurs.

27:27 Uh-huh.

27:27 Ever obsessed, in fact, he came home very recently from preschool and said,

27:33 "Mommy, you are not going to believe it.

27:36 There is a movie about dinosaurs.

27:40 It's called Jurassic Park." I said, "Oh, Ellery,

27:45 that's fantastic." And I I I I sort of didn't know

27:49 how to get into the whole thing of knowing about the movie.

27:52 You kept it from him?

27:53 You he loves dinosaurs and you don't say I'm in a dinosaur movie?

27:59 [laughter] I I believe lying is sort of a conscious path towards parenting.

28:02 No, I I, you know, let him know that I

28:04 knew about the movie and that I was in it.

28:07 And of course he wants to see it,

28:08 but it was Steven Spielberg, who is a dear friend,

28:11 who suggested that told Ellery a lot about it and Ellery was really excited,

28:14 but also suggested it might be slightly traumatic for your five-year-old

28:18 son to see you being chased by a T-Rex.

28:20 Yeah, I guess so.

28:21 wait a little bit longer.

28:22 Well, your parents were were both actors and Diane Ladd and Bruce Dern and were

28:26 you traumatized when Did you see them in a movie that was Oh, by the movies.

28:30 I [laughter] wondered where you were going with that.

28:33 Just merely by the childhood.

28:35 Okay.

28:35 None of my business.

28:37 Totally different show.

28:38 Yeah.

28:38 Yeah.

28:39 Um yes, I in fact, at about Ellery's age,

28:42 I remember watching television with my mom

28:45 and she was flipping the channels and there was

28:47 this image of Bette Davis holding a hat box

28:50 at the top of the stairs in Hush Hush,

28:51 Sweet Charlotte and out rolled my father's head.

28:56 How old were you?

28:56 Five.

28:57 Not good.

28:59 Basically, we we really That sums it all up.

29:01 Yeah, not good.

29:02 [laughter] It was traumatic, but I was quickly put on the phone

29:05 with my father so he could tell me he was Okay.

29:08 all all put in one piece and things were good.

29:11 Wow.

29:11 And and that didn't that didn't scare you to to not go Or did

29:14 that maybe that encourage you to go into acting that you could I mean,

29:17 I quickly learned about acting and play and what it meant and imagination,

29:22 but it was a slightly traumatic.

29:23 Maybe that's why I you know, pick often unusual films.

29:27 I don't know.

29:28 But um Yeah.

29:28 brilliant films.

29:29 Everything Everything you've been in every time you're here, I just,

29:32 you know, they're not the mainstream things, but if you look for them,

29:34 if you find the films that I mean, the one that with Mark Ruffalo that I I

29:38 loved you so much in We Don't Live Here Anymore.

29:39 We Don't Live Here Anymore.

29:40 which was fantastic.

29:41 I I love they're all small, brilliant things.

29:43 You're an amazing actress.

29:44 All right, we have to take a break

29:45 and we're going to talk about something we did together, which was a lot of fun.

29:50 10 years ago.

29:52 Weird.

29:52 Like right now?

29:53 10 years ago right now.

29:54 All right, we'll be right back with Laura Dern.

29:56 We're back with Laura Dern, my friend who we were just it's it's crazy.

30:00 I've never really talked about this on the show before, but like 10 years ago,

30:05 April 30th was when I did the coming out episode on my sitcom

30:09 and and Laura I met at a birthday party and I just I just thought

30:14 she was so great and I just loved her and I asked

30:16 her to to play the part of the girl on the show and she said yes,

30:21 which was huge of you to do because I I think a lot

30:24 of a lot of actresses maybe wanted to do it just for the attention,

30:28 but it was a risky thing for you to to take that role, right?

30:32 Well, I first let me say it was an extraordinary experience and opportunity

30:37 and really an honor to get to be there alongside you at that moment.

30:40 You're such an an incredibly remarkable actor,

30:44 first of all, I want to say because [applause] it's so true.

30:49 But to be I mean to be a great comedian,

30:52 we know to be authentic and also to to be

30:55 in your truth and to make it great emotionally and everything else.

30:58 That was just so incredible to work alongside you.

31:01 But with that said, you were honoring your own

31:04 voice and I got to be a witness to it.

31:06 So that was extraordinary.

31:09 And [laughter]

31:11 and it was very interesting because it was an exciting time and we had

31:15 an amazing experience and there was certainly backlash I guess that we all felt.

31:20 see, I'm just learning this about you right now.

31:22 I mean, I had backlash.

31:23 I didn't work for 3 years.

31:24 I didn't have one phone call, one person answering my phone for 3 years.

31:28 But Laura, I just learned she was just

31:31 she had just been nominated for an Academy Award.

31:33 Her work was amazing and she didn't work for a year

31:36 and a half after that episode just because she was on my show.

31:39 I had no idea.

31:40 I I must say it was it was radical.

31:43 It was radical because we look now at something

31:47 that would be completely the norm on television,

31:50 which is the great news and you were the pioneer of that.

31:54 So that's the [applause] that's the gift.

32:01 But Thank you.

32:04 But [applause] the challenges in the moment where the hell did everybody go?

32:08 Yeah.

32:08 It feels awfully terrifying.

32:10 Yeah.

32:10 I mean, I just I even wondered if I should call you.

32:12 I was like, do we call each other?

32:14 Like I I it all became just terrifying,

32:16 but the other thing I have to say is that to do with me ever again.

32:19 Like No, I wanted to hang OUT.

32:21 YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE I COULD HANG OUT WITH.

32:26 [laughter]

32:26 BUT THE OTHER AMAZING thing was I also did receive extraordinary letters.

32:31 Mhm.

32:31 Couple not so nice letters also,

32:33 but some really extraordinary letters from families who felt that you had

32:39 given them an extraordinary gift and I got to be part of that.

32:41 So I have immense gratitude.

32:43 Well, thank Well, I just wanted to say cuz I

32:44 really didn't know that that happened to you and you know,

32:47 I'm grateful every single day because you know,

32:49 I just have always wanted to make people happy and feel good and laugh.

32:52 That's all I wanted to do and so every

32:55 day that I'm on this show and every single day

32:57 that I get to be in people's living rooms

32:59 and and make them happy and make them feel good,

33:01 it it's like I'm grateful because I I didn't get to do that for a long time.

33:06 So I love that I get to do that now and that things

33:09 have changed and I'm sorry that that happened to you for a while,

33:12 but I'm so happy that you're That's my gig.

33:14 I mean, that's my job, too.

33:16 It's a if if the if in its essence it's not about tolerance.

33:21 Tolerance being that we each have our own experience,

33:24 our own way of of experiencing life and learning to love and create family

33:29 and all of those things and there are

33:31 moments that we're given an opportunity to what

33:34 watch and witness somebody express themselves and and that's what I want to do

33:39 as an actor and try to pick films and things that have that subject matter,

33:42 but to be witness to it and have it be real for you.

33:45 I was so moved by the experience.

33:47 Oh, well.

33:47 And so pay great Thanks.

33:49 Well, thank you Thank you for being a part

33:51 of it with me and uh And it's just crazy.

33:54 I mean, we're just saying it seems like 10 minutes ago, not 10 years ago.

33:57 It's crazy that it was 10 years ago.

33:59 But anyway, you know obviously that I'm not really gay.

34:03 The whole thing was just a Yeah.

34:06 Yeah, that's it.

34:07 It was a publicity thing.

34:08 I'm not really.

34:09 You guys not no.

34:14 You can catch Laura in Year of the Dog, which I'm sure is fantastic cuz you're

34:18 great in everything you do and Inland Empire.

34:20 Both are playing in select cities right now.

34:23 Sanjaya is going to sing for us after this.

34:25 Don't go away.

34:26 I want to thank my guests Julia Louis-Dreyfus,

34:28 Laura Dern and Sanjaya here to perform.

34:30 Please welcome one more time Sanjaya with Michael Orlando on piano.