a work day in my life at NYFW + my career advice

0:00 [Music] time in all those lungs.

0:08 She's going to fix you up.

0:13 I think the first thing I would tell

0:14 you is that imposttor syndrome is definitely not uncommon,

0:17 especially in an industry like fashion.

0:20 I mean, literally, this whole industry is about dressing up,

0:24 changing your mood based on what you're wearing,

0:26 how to translate an image based on style.

0:29 I grew up in St.

0:30 Louis, Missouri in the '9s.

0:32 When I first started coming to fashion week,

0:35 I was waiting for someone to tell me that you're not supposed to be here.

0:38 That's not your seat.

0:39 Even now that I've worked in fashion for nearly two decades,

0:42 I'm still sometimes like, "Oh, is this where I'm supposed to sit?

0:45 Is someone going to ask me to move?" When I was 18, I moved to France on my own.

0:50 I remember having Paris fashion week going on, like going on.

0:53 And I would go to the events, not like go to the events,

0:55 but I'd show up at the events

0:56 and would like stand against the guardrails and would

0:58 like try to peek in as like models and like designers were coming in and out.

1:01 And I was just so fascinated by the whole thing.

1:03 And I've always loved fashion.

1:04 And so it's always had been some far-off dream.

1:06 So it's like still so crazy to me that I even get to go.

1:10 Like it's so bizarre and I can't fully like wrap my head around it.

1:14 I feel like an imposttor there.

1:15 I I didn't have a traditional background in it.

1:18 I didn't have a traditional formal education.

1:20 And so I think I like almost even discredited myself.

1:24 And and I think that is just kind of total[ __] Like you

1:29 can't let that get in the way of what you know you're capable of.

1:34 [Music] Hey guys, and welcome to day two of fashion week.

1:41 My bathroom is literally so small.

1:43 I'm going to put my matcha inside the sink because

1:45 the sink isn't big enough to hold it on the outside.

1:48 Today I thought I would take you guys along on a little work day in my life.

1:52 Although it's a bit of a special work

1:53 day because it's literally the middle of fashion week.

1:56 Today is definitely my most packed day of fashion week.

1:59 I have some styling sessions.

2:00 I have photo shoots.

2:01 I'll be running all around town.

2:02 I have some fashion shows.

2:04 Really, the vast majority of my job is not this glamorous at all.

2:07 It is sitting in front of a camera talking

2:09 to it and then editing it for like 30 hours.

2:11 That's me being glamorous.

2:13 Oh, just nearly knocked over my computer by pulling this headphone out.

2:18 But I thought it would be fun to take you guys along on a little bit

2:21 more of like the stylist/model part of my life

2:25 because honestly I'm just excited for it.

2:28 Last night I was laying in bed and overthinking things per usual.

2:32 I was thinking about how I'm honestly kind

2:33 of nervous to make this video and to share

2:36 this part of my life in part because I feel like I don't deserve it.

2:39 I do think imposter syndrome has held me back for a lot of my life.

2:44 Even when I was interning as a freshman in college,

2:46 I worked for um like Rosman Pike and Rachel McAdams managers

2:50 because I felt like I didn't really deserve to be there.

2:53 I never took full advantage of my internships because

2:55 I would just go and do my work quietly, hand in everything on time.

2:59 I would never ask for anything more.

3:00 I would never ask for more responsibilities.

3:02 I would never ask for a referral

3:04 to somebody who I really admired in the industry.

3:07 I would never ask to go on set, which is what I really wanted to do at that age.

3:10 For so long, I acted as essentially a gatekeeper for myself.

3:15 Even though other people believed that that I

3:17 could eventually make it in the film industry, I told myself I never could.

3:20 And so, I never went out there and tried.

3:23 I never took a risk on myself because I just felt like I didn't deserve it.

3:27 YouTube has definitely helped with a lot of my imposttor syndrome because

3:30 it's just something that I get to do alone in my bedroom.

3:32 But I realized yesterday in my first day of fashion week,

3:36 that feeling of the imposttor syndrome came back so hard.

3:40 And I spent the entire day yesterday just being

3:43 afraid that somebody would notice that I didn't belong.

3:46 I preemptively stopped myself from introducing myself to people that I really,

3:50 really admired or having interesting conversations because I told myself they

3:55 would never want to talk to me because I'm just Ashley.

3:58 So, one of my goals today is to spend

4:00 less energy telling myself that I don't deserve

4:03 any of this and spend more energy just trying to do as good a job as possible.

4:08 Yeah.

4:08 I don't know.

4:08 I know that fashion week isn't the most like hashtag deep

4:11 thing in the world and it's not too big of a deal,

4:13 but I thought it could be a good opportunity

4:14 for me to kind of build some confidence in myself.

4:17 I think for a long time I have been very self-deprecating on the internet

4:20 and I thought that it was good

4:21 to like bring myself down because that's like relatable.

4:24 But I've been hoping that this year maybe I

4:25 can be a little bit more confident in myself, confident in my accomplishments.

4:29 It is so common for young women especially to be told

4:33 that they need to constantly thank other people for their accomplishments,

4:36 constantly put themselves down.

4:38 And I want to find that balance between obviously

4:40 acknowledging that I'm so lucky to do any of this.

4:43 But also saying, "Hey, I'm confident in this.

4:45 This is my job.

4:46 This is something I've worked for.

4:47 And I hope I hope I can do a good job at it." Anyways,

4:50 I will get changed and then see you guys at the first show.

4:54 I already got cat called and I'm like 5 minutes into my walk to the subway.

4:59 I love New York.

5:02 [Music] I was trying to come up with some clever voice over for this show,

5:16 but honestly, I think it's just really beautiful.

5:18 Um, you can see yourself with the architecture

5:20 and the clothing and the music how it felt.

5:23 So, um enjoy.

5:25 [Music] Anna Wintor saw an outfit that I was in.

5:58 There was about a 2% chance that she actually

6:00 liked my outfit and didn't think it was hideous.

6:02 But a girl can dream.

6:05 Literally 20 seconds ago in this video,

6:07 I said that I wanted to stop being self-deprecating.

6:09 I literally just like I can't do it.

6:11 I can't go like 5 seconds without[ __] making fun of myself.

6:13 Why are you like this, Ashley?

6:15 Why can't you be nice to yourself?

6:16 Despite saying all of this, I will probably still continue to make fun of myself

6:19 in the voiceover because my entire inner monologue

6:20 for 21 years has been putting myself down.

6:22 And despite the fact that I'm trying to stop

6:24 that and project like a really confident image online,

6:26 deep down, I'm still just like really insecure.

6:27 And I enjoy other people being confident.

6:29 Like I'm proud of them.

6:30 I'm like, "Go them." But whenever I am confident,

6:32 I'm just like, "Oh, she's an asshole." Anyways,

6:34 I took some selftimer photos of my outfit literally by balancing my phone

6:38 on the bottom of a street lamp because despite my best efforts,

6:42 I am still far too socially awkward to ask somebody to help me.

6:45 And despite even better efforts,

6:46 I am still far too single to have an Instagram boyfriend.

6:49 Hi, Ashley.

6:52 Believe it or not, I was already running super behind for the day because

6:55 apparently New York time just moves faster than the rest of time in the world.

6:59 So, I headed over to Midtown for a meeting with Calvin Klein.

7:03 My hair clips are such a mess.

7:04 Hi.

7:05 How are you?

7:07 A lot of brands will schedule photo shoots

7:08 or video shoots during New York Fashion Week because they know a lot of bloggers

7:12 and influencers are already going to be in town,

7:14 so I had a photo shoot scheduled with them the next day.

7:17 But, I was also kind of acting as my own stylist,

7:19 so I had to pick out an outfit to wear.

7:21 Okay, here is one option.

7:23 I do really like this top.

7:25 I was thinking I could like kind of tie

7:27 it up like this, but I think it would look

7:29 a lot better with black jeans or a black bottom

7:32 to kind of tie in the black and red color scheme.

7:35 Here is the outfit with the skirt.

7:37 I think this black skirt kind of ties it together a lot better.

7:40 I am also going to try this on with a different

7:42 bra to see what we want peeking through the boob area.

7:46 Okay, here is how it looks with the white bra.

7:48 I literally just like twisted the top and like tucked it under the bra.

7:51 It's definitely a little bit more booby,

7:54 but I think for the shoot it looks a little bit

7:55 more editorial and it ties in with the white of my boots.

7:58 Here is an option with jeans.

8:00 I really like the silhouette,

8:01 but maybe on somebody else just because I have really broad shoulders.

8:05 So, anything that's cut kind of diagonally

8:07 across the shoulder really emphasizes how

8:10 broad my shoulders are and I feel like I look a little bit unbalanced.

8:16 Question mark.

8:18 Ash, should we do Oh, sorry.

8:20 Sorry.

8:21 Okay, so I decided to try out this denim vest.

8:24 And I honestly did not think it was going to be this cute.

8:27 Mostly just because I remember denim vests

8:28 from back in like the Abberroi era days, but I decided to tuck it in.

8:33 And we're actually going to tailor the sides of it.

8:35 So it's very like bodycon and it looks more like a one piece denim dress,

8:40 which I think will be really cute.

8:41 And I feel like with these boots, it's very like pop star.

8:44 Hopefully.

8:47 [Music] You ready for the morning?

8:50 Yes.

8:50 Okay.

8:51 Amazing.

8:51 Thank you.

8:54 One outfit change later,

8:55 I was off to my next show of the day, which was Cynthia Rowley.

8:59 I met David Doick for the first time.

9:01 He was really nice and he talked about how

9:04 heavy my camera was and that was the whole conversation.

9:09 Started in the basement supposed to be ahead of Took us to the first floor.

9:18 A place I've never seen before.

9:21 A place I've never seen before.

9:25 This was definitely the most fun runway of New York Fashion Week.

9:28 All the models were doing like a very sassy '90s supermodel walks.

9:32 Some of them were like throwing their coats at audience members.

9:35 At one point, the models started popping up out of the audience

9:38 and like taking off their coats and then strutting down the runway.

9:41 And it was just like really fun.

9:42 Everybody was looking around to see where the next model would pop up.

9:46 We have part of the fashion show.

9:48 She threw her coat at Derek.

9:49 It's a nice thing to do to give it back.

9:51 Unless you want it.

9:52 Do you want the coat?

9:54 If they don't if they don't want it back, I'll take it.

9:58 [Music] Thanks.

10:04 Look, I'm vlogging too now.

10:06 I'll teach you everything, you know.

10:08 [Music] I am literally in the bathroom of a church right now.

10:18 Um, I feel like maybe it's a little bit sacrileged to vlog in here.

10:21 I'm so sorry, but I'm about to go to the Redarte show,

10:24 which is literally inside the church.

10:26 I made a quick pit stop with Derek for some reason to go

10:29 and say hello to Elon Musk's literal mother because she released a book.

10:35 So, anyways, now I'm going to go to the show.

10:38 I'm so excited because Rodort has the most insane gowns.

10:43 [Music] [Applause] So,

10:54 the Rodarte show was absolutely my favorite one of fashion week.

10:58 It took place in, like I mentioned, a literal cathedral.

11:01 They had organ music playing which was copyrighted so

11:04 I couldn't use it in this video but it almost

11:07 gave me like funeral procession vibes except a funeral

11:10 procession for your rich husband who was recently mysteriously murdered.

11:14 Everything from the lace detail to the headpieces.

11:18 It was just it was pure like beauty.

11:20 That's all I can say about it.

11:28 [Music] Hi.

11:33 Okay, I just got out of the Rodarte show.

11:36 I want to get married in those dresses and I

11:38 want to be buried at my funeral in those dresses.

11:42 I think like every show I have a growing

11:43 appreciation not only for the models and for the designs,

11:47 but for like the production of it all and for like the set and the music.

11:50 It's kind of like a film or like a play, but just a fashion version of that.

11:54 like it evokes a feeling.

11:56 Anyways, the last thing on my agenda today is

11:58 that I am going to a Marc Jacobs fitting.

12:01 Currently, I am in Midtown heading up.

12:03 Um, their show is tomorrow and it is the last show of fashion week.

12:06 Literally, like, what are the words coming out of my mouth?

12:08 Can you believe that's a real[ __] sentence that I said?

12:10 This is absurd.

12:18 And if you want to keep them, So,

12:25 here I'm just like playing a giant game of dress up all over again.

12:28 I got to pick a couple pieces to style for the Marc Jacobs show,

12:31 which was the next day.

12:33 Here is option number one.

12:36 I really, really like this dress.

12:37 Um, I don't know if you can see my nipples through it.

12:40 It's kind of lacy and I'm not wearing a bra right now.

12:42 Okay, this is option number two.

12:44 I actually think that I would probably wear it with these shoes.

12:46 These are my like over- the-neee boots and I

12:48 think they actually look really cool with longer dresses.

12:50 This coat has the coolest lining on the inside.

12:52 It's like a checkerboard that kind of just peaks out.

12:54 Okay, we finished it off with this silver bag.

12:57 And now we're going to shoot some photos.

13:01 [Music] I had a dream I could find my way to heaven.

13:09 When I awoke, I spit that on a necklace.

13:11 I told God I'll be back in a second.

13:13 Man, so hard not to act reckless.

13:16 To whom much is given, much is tested.

13:18 Get arrested, guess until he get the message.

13:21 I feel the pressure.

13:25 Hello guys and welcome back to the comfy zone.

13:28 It's around 11 p.m.

13:29 and honestly I am about ready to pass out.

13:32 I talked to way too many people for my introvert brain to handle.

13:35 But I realized I didn't want this video to come across ever

13:38 as me bragging or as me setting some like unattainable influencer life standard.

13:44 That is never my intent.

13:45 I really wanted to vlog New York Fashion Week because I

13:48 personally was so inspired by shows like The Cary Diaries and Jane

13:51 by Design and even like seeing these fictional characters on TV

13:56 doing cool fashion things inspired me to want to do it.

13:59 So, um I don't know.

14:00 Hopefully, it is inspiring to you guys to see me,

14:02 a real life human, doing some of this stuff.

14:04 In last week's video, I interviewed a lot of people in the fashion

14:07 industry about how they got their start.

14:09 But tonight, I thought I would just kind of interview myself and give you

14:12 guys my advice in case you are interested in a career in social media.

14:16 My number one piece of advice for getting into social media is to start now.

14:20 That is one of the amazing things about making

14:22 YouTube videos or making[ __] Tik Toks is that you

14:25 can do it anytime that you want from your bedphone

14:28 with the from your bed with literally the shittiest camera.

14:32 You don't need to wait for some like

14:34 Hollywood executive to greenlight your script and then

14:36 cast people for 5 years and then end

14:37 up canceling the project because of budget cuts.

14:39 Like you have the control to do it on your timeline.

14:42 And that means you have the control to start making videos now.

14:45 I think human nature is also to procrastinate

14:48 and to find excuses because starting something is scary.

14:51 So a lot of people will say, "Hey,

14:52 I can't start YouTube yet because I don't have the right camera.

14:55 I can't start it yet because I haven't gotten my haircut.

14:58 I can't start it yet because I don't have quite enough

15:01 time."[ __] I did this in high school when I had five

15:05 jobs and was doing college applications and then I did it

15:08 in college while I was graduating in two and a half years.

15:10 Was that healthy?

15:11 Probably not.

15:11 But it's possible.

15:12 I know a lot of people always think that it's too late to start on social media.

15:16 That the market is already full.

15:18 Like even when I started in 2015,

15:20 I thought that I was too late because there was

15:23 already this super established class of like old school beauty gurus.

15:26 Who would want to watch me when there was Zoella?

15:28 It always seems like when you want to start, you're too late to get into it.

15:32 But then people 5 years from now will look back and be like,

15:35 "Oh no, if only I started a YouTube channel in 2020.

15:38 Now it's too late." My third tip is

15:40 that this industry is about patience and endurance.

15:44 A lot of people think that they can get

15:45 into social media and there's going to be this overnight success.

15:48 They're going to be millionaires in like a[ __] day.

15:50 And the truth is that I have been doing this for 5 years at this point.

15:55 But for the first 2 and 1/2 years, I didn't earn any money.

15:58 So I tell everybody who's interested in social media that you have to be

16:02 willing to work on this for 2 to 3 years without getting paid.

16:05 It's a game of endurance.

16:06 You always have to shoot the gap.

16:08 There's going to be like a whole year where you're just putting

16:10 in an insane amount of work and seeing no returns for it.

16:13 But you have to keep doing it because that's like the only

16:16 way that you get to the other side of the gap.

16:18 Another tip is to always be looking for inspiration

16:20 and to kind of consume social media with a critical eye.

16:24 Social media has a very specific kind of language

16:27 to it and it took me a while to learn.

16:30 Like the pacing that feels right in a YouTube video is

16:33 very different from the pacing of a movie or a TV show.

16:36 And some of that comes with practice,

16:38 but some of it also obviously comes with observing other people.

16:41 Now, when I watch YouTube videos, I'm always thinking about like,

16:44 oo, why does this color palette work really well?

16:46 Why is this like font so good?

16:47 Why does this intro slap?

16:49 And sometimes I will even like screenshot certain

16:52 parts of a video that really inspire me

16:54 so that I can save it for later and kind of incorporate that into my style.

16:58 Another tip is to make videos that you genuinely want to watch.

17:02 I think that is like really when YouTube

17:04 started clicking for me a little bit more.

17:06 It was when I said, "Fuck it.

17:07 I'm just going to make videos that entertain me

17:09 and not like pretend to be this like perfect beauty guru.

17:13 I'm not going to pretend to care about making like

17:15 an October favorites video and I'm just going to make[ __]

17:18 that is entertaining for myself and I think people can feel

17:21 when there's love in your videos and over time that gets rewarded.

17:24 Once you get the old social media ball rolling a little bit,

17:27 an important thing is to learn how to delegate.

17:30 For a long time I like clung on to all of my tasks,

17:33 but eventually you have to realize the value of your own time.

17:36 And for example, it's not worth it for me to do

17:38 my own taxes very badly and very confused and get very stressed

17:42 out by them when I could pay an accountant to do

17:44 them properly for me and make sure that I don't get audited.

17:47 Or it's not worth it for me to reply

17:49 to like thousands of business emails when I have

17:52 my manager do that now and he does a much

17:54 better job while I can focus on actually making videos.

17:57 That being said, it is super important to pick your team carefully.

18:01 It's important to take multiple meetings so you can compare multiple offers.

18:04 Read over your contracts carefully.

18:05 do not get locked into over a year-long contract.

18:08 And ideally, look for a manager who will work

18:10 with you on kind of just a month-by-month trust basis.

18:13 I can go more in depth on that in another video, I think,

18:15 because this video is getting a little bit long if you guys would be interested.

18:18 So, I will just tell you my final tip,

18:20 which is that connections in this industry are honestly more

18:23 about vibing with people than about actually trying to sell yourself.

18:27 That's honestly something I didn't expect.

18:29 I always thought that meetings with like brands

18:31 and production companies would be super high pressure.

18:33 I would need like a presentation.

18:35 I would need to sell myself as like a business person.

18:38 But really, they are also for the most part young people.

18:42 This industry is mostly run by like 20somes just wanting to get to know you.

18:46 A lot of the times when I go into meetings,

18:48 it's like half talking about business stuff and then half just

18:51 talking about like movies or trips or interests that we all have.

18:55 It's always important to show what you can bring

18:57 to the table and to come across as confident, but at the end of the day,

19:01 people are always just looking to work with people that they genuinely like,

19:04 who they feel comfortable around, and who they enjoy the company of.

19:07 So, that is all of my advice.

19:09 I hope that it helped you out.

19:11 I hope that it helps you guys.

19:12 That being said, I really do not recommend dropping out

19:15 of school or starting social media at a super young age.

19:18 Um, I started when I was a senior in high school

19:20 and it allowed me time to graduate college before doing this full-time,

19:24 which I really do think helps you like become a regular human being.

19:29 Social media can also lead to a lot of great other opportunities and it

19:32 can also create a skill set that you can use for other brands later,

19:36 but it is not something that always lasts for forever.

19:38 So, it is important to have like a real[ __] childhood

19:41 and to have a real[ __] education before you get into this.

19:44 So, anyways, that's my whole thing.

19:46 I am going to absolutely crash now and I will see you guys next week.

19:50 Bye.

19:51 [Music]