Funny Flashbacks To Watch When You’re Feeling Nostalgic | Everybody Loves Raymond

0:00 Hi.

0:05 So.

0:08 You feel different, huh?

0:10 Why do you feel different?

0:12 Of course.

0:13 What?

0:14 Like doom?

0:16 Yes, exactly like that.

0:20 Listen, listen.

0:23 Last night when my father asked me to marry me

0:28 and and you said yes to my mother I'm wondering if maybe What?

0:39 Well, like maybe you felt pressured.

0:41 Like you were at a ballpark.

0:45 What?

0:47 All right.

0:48 Let me ask you again.

0:49 Okay, nobody's nobody's here.

0:51 You can You can say whatever you want.

0:54 Do you really want TO MARRY ME?

0:57 OH MY GOD!

1:02 BOTH FEET.

1:04 WAIT A MINUTE.

1:05 THAT'S FOR ME OR FOR THE RING?

1:06 OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

1:10 OKAY, but would you still WANT ME WITHOUT THE RING?

1:12 WHAT are you talking about?

1:14 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

1:15 Look at this.

1:16 I got to show everybody.

1:17 Wait, I got to look at this under the light.

1:23 I'm never going to get a straight answer now.

1:26 Let me have the ring for a second, please.

1:28 No, no, no.

1:28 Just wait.

1:28 WAIT.

1:28 WAIT.

1:29 PLEASE, WAIT.

1:31 DO YOU REALLY WANT TO marry me?

1:32 What?

1:33 Yes.

1:33 TAKE YOUR TIME.

1:37 THINK.

1:39 NOW, ONE MORE TIME.

1:56 Do you really want to marry me?

2:01 Yes, Ray.

2:02 I really want to marry you.

2:16 Oh, I love this dress.

2:17 Come here.

2:18 Come here, I got to show you all my plans here.

2:20 Plans?

2:20 What What do you mean?

2:21 Yeah, for the wedding.

2:23 You're already planning the wedding?

2:25 I've been planning it since I was 12.

2:29 But boy, you didn't meet me till you were 22.

2:32 Well, you're the last piece of the puzzle.

2:39 Yeah.

2:40 You sure that I fit?

2:41 You're not like cramming me in there, right?

2:44 Okay, okay.

2:45 Look at this.

2:45 These bridesmaids dresses, do you like that color?

2:48 Yeah, I they're they're great if they're going

2:50 to jog to church at night, I guess.

2:54 Huh?

2:55 Ah, come on, this is important.

2:56 So, this is all about the wedding.

2:58 Of course it's about the wedding.

3:00 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a second.

3:02 What if I told you forget about all this?

3:04 Uh would you still want to marry me if we couldn't have a big wedding?

3:07 I don't need a big wedding.

3:08 It's fine.

3:09 Wait, wait.

3:09 What about what your sister had?

3:11 Oh god, that was way too much.

3:12 I wouldn't want that anyway.

3:14 So, you're not just excited now about a big wedding.

3:17 You'd marry me even if we had a small wedding.

3:18 Oh honey, listen.

3:19 If you want a small wedding, we'll have a small wedding, okay?

3:22 You're good with a small wedding?

3:25 Of course.

3:27 And I'm still honey?

3:29 Yes, you are.

3:33 Okay.

3:35 My parents.

3:37 Oh boy.

3:40 Hi.

3:40 Hi.

3:45 Hello there, son-in-law.

3:48 Hello there, you.

3:53 You know, um on the way down here,

3:55 I was busy reading my favorite sports columnist.

3:59 You boy, is that Mike Lupica can really write.

4:04 Yeah.

4:05 Congratulations, Raymond.

4:06 Okay.

4:07 I've never been a sports fan, but now, GO SPORTS.

4:14 OKAY.

4:15 LOOK, MOM.

4:16 Is that adorable?

4:20 Hey, we got to talk, Deb.

4:21 Oh, yes.

4:22 I checked and the country club is only available on June 3rd or the 17th.

4:27 It's the big room, dear.

4:29 Of course it's the big room.

4:31 Big room, big band, big shrimp.

4:34 So, like 200, 250 tops.

4:39 250 people?

4:42 Yeah.

4:42 Why?

4:42 What did you have in mind?

4:44 A small wedding.

4:45 I don't like 20 people.

4:48 I know exactly what you and Deb are planning for tonight, Raymond.

4:51 What?

4:52 How do you know anything?

4:55 Believe me, I would rather not know.

4:57 But when you talk in your room, it carries through the whole house.

5:02 Especially when your mother stands on the dresser

5:04 so she can listen through the vent.

5:08 OH MY GOD, BOB.

5:11 YOU TWO have to leave, okay?

5:13 Deb and I would like to be alone.

5:20 Oh, hello, Raymond.

5:22 Hello, Raymond.

5:26 Oh, Father Hubley, come in.

5:29 Thanks for the ride, Robert.

5:30 I've been looking forward to this lasagna all day.

5:34 Hi.

5:36 Oh, Deborah, this is our family priest, Father Hubley.

5:40 And if it's all right with you, he's going to join us for dinner.

5:43 Hello.

5:45 Oh, why don't we all sit down and get to know one another?

5:48 Come on, sweetie.

5:49 Okay.

5:50 Yes, come on, sweetie.

5:51 Oh, it's going to be fun.

5:54 Oh, Father, please sit.

5:56 Please, Father.

6:05 Father Hubley, did you know that Deborah and Raymond

6:08 have been dating for a few months now?

6:10 Marie, you know something?

6:11 Maybe this is a bad time cuz I don't think we have enough lasagna here.

6:14 Hey, Ray's right.

6:15 We may be in trouble here.

6:17 Because with all due respect, Father,

6:19 I saw what you did to that cheesecake at the church bake sale.

6:30 Uh Father Hubley, I'd like your opinion on the commandments.

6:35 Do you have to follow all, or can you just pick and choose?

6:43 Ray.

6:45 What's the matter?

6:46 I'll tell you what's the matter.

6:47 My mother is trying to prevent you and me from having CHINESE FOOD!

6:56 OH, YOU GOT CHINESE COMING.

6:58 We're good, Father.

7:01 Oh, Frank, would you stop thinking about food for a second?

7:04 Your son's moral health is in jeopardy.

7:07 What?

7:07 Oh, for crying out loud, Marie.

7:09 Why don't you just fit her for a chastity belt and be DONE WITH IT?

7:16 OH MY GOD.

7:20 IS THAT WHY you're all here?

7:23 Because of sex?

7:27 I was only told about the lasagna.

7:44 I don't understand.

7:45 Well, if I may, Debra.

7:48 The worst thing for a relationship is to give in to one's desires.

7:52 Now, I know in this case it may be difficult because Raymond is such a cute boy.

7:58 god.

8:03 But when I heard him talking to his friends

8:05 about buying candles and counting your eggs,

8:10 I knew it was time to CALL FATHER HUBLEY.

8:13 WHAT?

8:14 WAIT A MINUTE.

8:15 IS THERE EVEN A LASAGNA HERE?

8:24 WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE HEARD, MARIE, but no one is coming near my eggs.

8:31 Tough break, Raymond.

8:36 Believe me, everybody.

8:37 We're not having sex.

8:42 Well, then I guess we can eat.

8:45 Raymond, if I may, I'd be happy to discuss all these matters,

8:51 but I don't think this is the time or the place.

8:54 Yes, and I must say that I am appalled

8:56 to turn this evening into I think we should all go.

9:01 But we haven't eaten yet.

9:02 When I say we, I'm including the lasagna.

9:06 Lovely meeting you, Debra.

9:08 And let me tell you, as someone who has known the Barone family a long time,

9:13 this actually went quite well.

9:17 The meat mat?

9:18 Oh, yeah.

9:18 GOOD, LET'S GO.

9:22 OH, GOD, YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

9:24 WHAT IS IT, RAYMOND?

9:26 It's a Steel City beer bottle cap.

9:30 Man, I haven't seen one of these since high school.

9:32 Frank, what are you doing throwing bottle caps in there?

9:36 It wasn't me.

9:38 I never drank that stuff.

9:40 Well, then where did it come from?

9:42 Well, I can tell you that.

9:44 I remember one week when you and Dad went to Florida.

10:01 Hey, Billy Canning, you spaz.

10:05 Hey, David.

10:08 Hey.

10:10 Hey, Dizzy.

10:11 Cool fiesta.

10:13 right, man?

10:13 Oh, yeah.

10:14 Good workout.

10:15 Hey, here's that Woo!

10:29 Hey.

10:30 Thanks.

10:31 Oh.

10:32 Ooh.

10:37 Hey, check it out.

10:39 Check it out.

10:39 Check it out.

10:43 Woah!

10:47 Right here.

10:48 Diz, the weed.

10:49 Yes, sir, Dominic.

10:55 You had a party in my house?

10:58 Not a party.

11:01 Fiesta.

11:05 You drank?

11:07 Well, Mom, it was 20 years ago.

11:09 And I'm just finding out about it now?

11:12 Was that the only party?

11:15 Oh.

11:16 Oh my god.

11:18 What else did you lie to me about?

11:21 Did you smoke?

11:24 Well, at that party?

11:25 Oh my god.

11:27 Did you smoke?

11:30 Smoke what?

11:31 OH MY GOD!

11:34 COME ON, MOM.

11:35 THIS IS HOW I RAISED YOU?

11:36 DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO SMOKE?

11:38 How many times did I tell you not to smoke, or drink, OR DO ANYTHING?

11:43 AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU lied to me?

11:47 This was the one time.

11:49 It's another lie.

11:50 You lied to your mother.

11:52 Everybody lies TO THEIR MOTHER.

11:54 CARE ABOUT everybody else.

11:55 You are my son.

11:57 I trusted you, and every day that you pretended to be a good boy,

12:01 you were lying to me.

12:06 All right, Ma.

12:07 What is What What do you want me to say, Ma?

12:10 Nothing.

12:13 I don't want you to say anything.

12:22 Aw.

12:25 I, for one, am shocked and disappointed.

12:41 Hello, Ray.

12:44 My birthday.

12:47 All right.

12:48 Okay, if you're sure that's the one special thing you want to do today.

12:55 No.

12:56 No, no.

12:57 No, no.

12:57 That's not it.

12:59 By the way, that one special thing, we're doing IT TWICE.

13:04 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RAY.

13:07 You wanted skis, right?

13:11 It's funny.

13:11 Big skis, small box.

13:13 Tell you what, I'll keep the gift and return the joke.

13:19 So, Ma, how are you?

13:21 I'm fine.

13:23 All right.

13:24 Come on.

13:25 Let's go.

13:25 Let out any of that anger you got up built up in there.

13:28 I'm not angry, hurt, confused, disillusioned maybe.

13:34 Stop overreacting, Marie.

13:36 So, he did a little rebelling when he was a kid.

13:39 What rebelling?

13:40 I never gave him anything to rebel against.

13:42 Oh, yeah.

13:44 You had a nice childhood, you hear me?

13:47 Nice, nurturing and nice.

13:49 I was A GOOD MOTHER.

13:54 SHE'S NOT.

13:56 YEAH, AND water's wet.

14:00 You know, I never told you this, but I used

14:03 to think of you as kind of a weak little mama's boy.

14:09 Who told me that?

14:11 Well, not anymore.

14:13 Now I see you're a troublemaker.

14:18 I'm a troublemaker, too.

14:23 I'm glad we talked.

14:25 How much time do you think you'll need to get your stuff out of the house?

14:27 Hello, Raymond.

14:28 Hi, Ma.

14:29 Listen, could you drive me to the mall cuz I could really use a sweater.

14:32 Okay.

14:33 Yeah.

14:33 We'll go Saturday.

14:34 No, no, no.

14:35 I I Oh, hello, Joanne.

14:37 It's nice to see you.

14:39 Robbie, I made you a bundt cake.

14:44 What's the matter?

14:47 Joanne just dumped me.

14:53 I don't understand.

14:55 Yeah, you know what, Ma?

14:55 I'll tell you about it in the car, okay?

14:57 It's kind of chilly.

14:58 I could really use a sweater.

14:58 I want a sweater.

15:01 Joanne dumped you?

15:17 You.

15:19 You.

15:21 You never appreciated my Robbie.

15:25 Could you just water them?

15:26 You never loved him for the decent, delightful boy he is.

15:32 You never realized how lucky you are to be a part of this wonderful family.

15:38 I have held my tongue for 2 years,

15:42 and I have given you every benefit of the doubt.

15:45 That's the kind of person I am.

15:50 The kind of person you are.

15:52 You are an angry, pushy, MANIPULATIVE OH!

15:59 OH, YOU ARE!

16:00 RAYMOND, STOP IT!

16:02 STOP IT!

16:03 RAYMOND, STOP IT'S ALL YOUR YOU MONSTER!

16:06 YOU MONSTER, YOU!

16:07 YOU'RE NOT NO, YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER.

16:09 YOU'RE CREATURE.

16:10 COME ON.

16:10 I'M NOT THE ONE BEING restrained right now.

16:12 And I'm not THE ONE WHO DANCED TOPLESS IN ATLANTIC CITY.

16:26 THAT'S RIGHT.

16:28 I know all about you, Cinnamon.

16:36 But as long as my son seemed happy,

16:39 I decided to let him live in blissful ignorance.

16:45 I knew she was a showgirl, Mom.

16:47 You knew?

16:50 Yes.

16:49 You knew this and you still married her?

16:52 You didn't tell me.

16:57 Could have saved money on the bachelor party.

16:59 Oh, come on, Mom.

17:00 Come on, Mom.

17:01 I don't want to hear this kind of thing anymore.

17:06 Someone has to protect this family, and I'm through sitting idly by.

17:13 And as for you, Nobody dumps my son.

17:21 You think you're dumping my son?

17:24 Okay, let's go home now.

17:25 Well, let me tell you something.

17:26 My son is dumping you.

17:28 That's right.

17:30 It's time to take out the trash.

17:45 Three minutes ago I was watching cartoons and eating a banana.

17:56 She's still there?

17:58 No.

17:59 What's scary is I think I just saw a bat fly away.

18:12 You knew she was a showgirl?

18:14 Raymond, I hope you're not keeping this kind of a secret about Deborah.

18:19 You mean Peppermint?

18:29 I don't like that, Raymond.

18:31 Thank God I live across the street from you.

18:36 And now, we all need to have a piece of this cake.

18:46 What do I do now?

18:51 I'll tell you what you don't do.

18:54 You don't call mama a Embrace column?

18:59 Your son is the new sports columnist FOR NEWSDAY.

19:05 OKAY.

19:06 ALL RIGHT.

19:07 OKAY, MOM.

19:07 I KNEW YOU'D do it.

19:08 You're a writer.

19:09 I told you he was smart.

19:12 Let me see that.

19:13 Hey, HEY, LET GO.

19:14 IT'S ABOUT ME.

19:15 DAD, will you please give me THE NEWSPAPER?

19:16 I DIDN'T CONNECT WITH YOU?

19:18 DAD, YOU'RE NOT SUP- GIVE IT TO ME, DAD.

19:20 I'M TRYING TO CONNECT WITH YOU.

19:21 GET AWAY FROM ME.

19:24 YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO READ IT.

19:25 WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

19:27 I'M FINISHING THIS.

19:28 I'M HOPING SPORTS WILL BRING ME CLOSER TO SOMEONE ELSE IN MY LIFE.

19:31 THE PERSON WHO WILL BE SITTING NEXT TO ME READING THIS.

19:34 DEBORAH, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

19:48 FOR THAT LAST PART, HE WAS supposed to be down on one knee.

20:01 What's going on?

20:03 Oh, baby just asked Dad for to marry him.

20:06 Wow, that quickly.

20:13 OH.

20:15 YES!

20:23 CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH.

20:32 And Raymond got his own column today.

20:34 And his picture IN THE PAPER.

20:48 THIS IS A LITTLE MUCH.

20:49 WE JUST THOUGHT that you would enjoy a nice anniversary brunch.

20:52 We don't enjoy things, dear.

20:55 Guess why?

20:57 Come on, come on.

20:58 We're supposed to be celebrating today, right?

21:00 This marriage is nothing to celebrate.

21:03 But 40 years is It's big milestone.

21:06 Think of all the good times.

21:07 I had one good year.

21:09 There you go.

21:10 The year I left your mother.

21:12 Dad.

21:13 What?

21:13 Hi.

21:15 The children.

21:16 What's the big secret?

21:17 We split up for a year.

21:19 I came back, didn't I?

21:20 Wait, wait, wait.

21:21 What are you talking about?

21:22 We almost got divorced.

21:25 What?

21:26 Here's a sad word.

21:28 Almost.

21:32 I suppose it can't hurt to tell you now.

21:33 We We separated for a year.

21:35 It was terrible time.

21:38 Separated when?

21:39 When was this?

21:40 Oh, it's not important, dear.

21:42 I have to go to the bathroom.

21:43 Well, I want to know.

21:44 No, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

21:52 LOOK, FRANK, A PARTY.

21:55 Holy crap.

21:58 Come on.

21:58 What is his story?

21:59 Well, Dad, happy anniversary.

22:02 Amy and I have prepared a few remarks.

22:05 Come with me, both of you.

22:06 You know, YOUR BROTHER'S TALKING.

22:09 HEY.

22:11 WEBSTER'S UNABRIDGED DICTIONARY defines wedlock

22:15 as Just keep keep toasting, all right?

22:17 I'm I'll have him back in a minute.

22:18 The toast is for them.

22:20 So's the cake.

22:22 You know what?

22:22 This is just going to take a minute.

22:23 So, I I made a spinach boat.

22:25 So, party down, everybody.

22:28 Hey, I saw cannolis in there.

22:30 Later.

22:30 Listen, I want to know Oh, well, thanks for coming.

22:34 You're going to need decent scotch.

22:37 Come on.

22:38 Now, please, give us a minute here.

22:39 I was told there'd be widows here.

22:47 When were you guys separated?

22:49 It was like 30 years ago.

22:51 Ray, I think the time for this is after the party, okay?

22:54 Nice, Raymond.

22:55 Very nice.

22:57 I practiced.

22:59 Did you You Mom and Dad were separated?

23:02 Again?

23:04 Wait, you knew?

23:05 Where the hell was I that year?

23:07 You were watching television.

23:09 Yeah.

23:10 Wild, wild west.

23:13 I'm sorry.

23:14 Do you want to blow out these candles?

23:15 Oh, how lovely.

23:16 No, no, no, no, no cake until I hear the story.

23:18 I'm sorry.

23:19 It's getting very hot.

23:24 Come on.

23:24 Let's hear it.

23:25 Okay.

23:26 We'd been living here in this house.

23:28 We had had the kids and when I think about it,

23:31 we were a lot like you and Deborah.

23:34 What?

23:35 What?

23:35 What do you mean?

23:36 Not like us.

23:36 Just like you two.

23:40 I think Ray and you were six and Robbie was uh 10.

23:45 It's Ray plus four.

23:46 That's right.

23:48 But I remember Frank and I were just like you two.

23:56 Everything was normal.

23:58 We'd had our differences.

24:01 But this was the day I realized the man

24:03 I married had no respect for me whatsoever.

24:07 Don't make this a production, Marie.

24:12 I remember I I'd been cooking all day and and you

24:15 were taking your own sweet time coming down for dinner.

24:20 When I think of how many times I yelled,

24:23 "Frank!" A nice pot roast, little red potatoes, carrots cooked in the sauce.

24:39 Before he even tasted a bite, he had the nerve to ask me for salt.

24:46 Salt gives it taste.

24:48 That roast had taste.

24:50 It had oregano, garlic, paprika.

24:53 He wouldn't even try it.

24:56 IT'S MY HOUSE.

24:57 I'M ALLOWED HAVE SALT IF I WANT.

25:01 EVEN IF IT DESTROYS another person?

25:09 You're overreacting.

25:11 You're always overreacting.

25:24 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LEFT.

25:26 You threw me out.

25:27 Champagne for everybody.

25:30 I'm a busy man.

25:31 I've met my bride.

25:34 Congratulations.

25:33 And you thought I was gay.

25:35 Oh, come on, you go eat your potatoes.

25:38 See how good they are?

25:39 Come on.

25:40 These are yummy.

25:41 Watch.

25:41 Watch me.

25:44 Yeah, they're good.

25:45 They're yummy.

25:46 Come on.

25:47 You like potatoes.

25:48 Look, you haven't even touched your corn.

25:49 Come on.

25:56 All right.

25:58 Hi, Daddy.

25:59 How did it go?

26:00 And please don't give up too much information.

26:03 How did the sonogram go?

26:06 Ray, you are not going to You're You're giving it away right there.

26:12 even say anything.

26:14 You had that "It's a girl" look on your face.

26:16 I'm not.

26:17 So Oh, so See, now you're telling me that it's A BOY NOW.

26:20 YELLING.

26:20 You're making me hungry.

26:21 I'll I'll stop yelling if you stop telling me what the baby is.

26:26 Just tell me, is it healthy?

26:28 Yes.

26:28 That's enough.

26:29 And I Okay.

26:36 You'll find out in 4 months.

26:38 Thank you.

26:46 So, you're you're thinking of names now?

26:48 Yeah, a little.

26:52 Are you thinking of names like Jeffrey?

26:54 want to know or not?

26:56 No.

26:57 No.

26:58 Unless you can't rest until I know.

27:00 Okay, come here, right?

27:01 Come on, just just come here.

27:03 Should I?

27:03 Yes, come on, sit down.

27:05 You know already, right?

27:08 Just Look at this, okay?

27:16 I don't know what the hell I'm looking at.

27:21 Okay, let me show you your handywork.

27:27 There's a leg.

27:28 Right.

27:30 That's another leg.

27:32 Uh-huh.

27:32 And uh oh.

27:34 What's that in between?

27:38 Is that an arm?

27:39 an arm.

27:39 YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT'S NOT AN ARM.

27:42 I KNEW IT.

27:44 I KNEW IT WAS A BOY.

27:46 OH, you did it, Bulbas.

27:49 Oh.

27:50 This is unbelievable.

27:52 I A girl would have been great, too, BUT IT'S A BOY.

27:57 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,

27:58 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,

27:59 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,

28:00 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

28:01 I'm dizzy.

28:01 Come here, look.

28:05 Okay.

28:06 There's his little something.

28:11 Uh-huh.

28:09 Oh, look at that.

28:10 It's cute, right?

28:15 And then there is another little something.

28:20 What does that mean?

28:24 Wait, it's it's twins, right?

28:29 What?

28:30 two boys.

28:34 What, right now?

28:39 In here?

28:39 Yeah.

28:44 Are you happy?

28:47 Yeah.

28:51 This is unbelievable.

28:56 I can't This is It's fantastic.

28:58 I Somebody has to show me how to do a cartwheel right now.

29:03 Look at me.

29:04 But how does that happen?

29:05 Twins don't run in our family.

29:07 I'll bet it's cuz I switched to boxers.

29:10 Huh?

29:11 Oh, did I kiss you already?

29:13 Yeah, but you can Oh, show me again.

29:16 See?

29:17 There's a little something and there's another little something.

29:20 Am I a MAN OR WHAT?

29:27 IN SCHOOL THEY USED TO PLAY KEEP-AWAY WITH MY HAT.

29:29 LOOK AT ME NOW.

29:32 BABY.

29:34 OH, you know, when you showed me two somethings, twins didn't pop into my head.

29:40 For a second I thought my son was going to make a living winning bar bets.

29:45 Oh, this is great.

29:48 Oh, this is so wonderful.

29:49 I've never seen you this way.

29:52 you've never given me twin sons before.

29:54 Oh, this is the greatest.

29:55 It's the greatest everything I've ever wanted.

29:58 It's like I'm never going to worry about anything ever again.

30:01 Oh, no.

30:04 What are you talking about?

30:05 You got everything you ever wanted.

30:07 Yeah, but where are we going to put it?