Every Politician featured in Parks and Recreation

0:00 You know how I feel about Chicago.

0:01 You are from Chicago, so you like it.

0:03 You must be Leslie Knope.

0:04 Welcome.

0:05 Welcome.

0:05 [laughter] Are Are you okay?

0:08 Can I get you anything?

0:09 I I would like you to just leave and give me a little privacy here, please.

0:12 2020.

0:14 Uh that's a stretch.

0:16 Fine.

0:17 2024.

0:19 I win.

0:20 We move in there.

0:21 I'll take the west wing, you take the east wing.

0:23 You can be the first gentleman.

0:25 Actually, that sounds kind of great.

0:28 Thanks for coming with me to get my stuff.

0:30 How can I pass up an opportunity to look at our future house?

0:33 Oh, just remembered.

0:34 I uh kind of got you an engagement present.

0:37 Is it a waffle tower?

0:38 I mean, it's a little better than that.

0:47 I That How did How did you do this?

0:50 Called in a few favors.

0:52 Excuse me, sir.

0:53 Few hundred favors.

0:55 Mr.

0:55 Vice President, Ben Wyatt from Congressman Murray's office.

0:58 Hey, Ben, Dave told me you're going to be

0:59 coming by, and you must be Leslie Knope.

1:01 Welcome.

1:02 Welcome.

1:02 [laughter] You're My My name just came out of your mouth.

1:08 Well, yeah, it did.

1:09 [laughter] Well, This isn't happening.

1:12 Th- This isn't real.

1:14 No, it's it's happening, and I'm delighted to have you here.

1:17 On behalf of the president and myself, I want to

1:19 Vice President, I am deeply flattered,

1:21 but there's no way that I could take over Madam Secretary Clinton's position.

1:25 I mean, I'm confident you could do that job or any other, but the reason

1:29 Okay, I will.

1:30 Well, the reason you're here is I'm told you've done such

1:33 a great job in your town and in the state of Indiana,

1:36 and I just want to say congratulations for your public service.

1:39 I just want to say thank you.

1:40 Well, you you you're very welcome.

1:42 You're very welcome.

1:43 I You're You're You're very welcome.

1:46 You're You're very handsome.

1:47 I think we're all done.

1:48 Well, you're very nice, but thank Thank you.

1:50 Thank Thank you very much.

1:51 very much.

1:51 We'll see you tomorrow.

1:53 Well, [laughter] Oh, well.

1:54 You will?

1:56 Thank you, Mr.

1:56 Vice President.

1:57 You're Are you welcome?

1:59 You don't like anything to happen to him.

2:00 Do you understand me?

2:02 He is precious cargo.

2:04 Hello, everybody.

2:05 This is Leslie Knope.

2:07 Leslie, this is Rebecca Provi-

2:08 Provi- Yes, hello.

2:09 I know who you are.

2:10 I've read all of your papers,

2:11 and um I had your poster on my wall when I was a kid.

2:14 What poster?

2:15 I made a poster of you by blowing

2:17 up your picture from the National Parks newsletter.

2:19 I cut out your face and made it look like you were dunking over Charles Barkley.

2:23 My god.

2:24 So, you're the author of the famous river cleanup proposal, huh?

2:28 It wasn't bad.

2:29 Liam Bonnaville read my proposal.

2:31 Wow.

2:32 Liam's being withholding, as usual.

2:34 That proposal was brilliantly written.

2:37 Rebecca Provi- Yes?

2:39 Nothing.

2:40 That was the best lunch I ever had.

2:43 I have to see the photos that you took.

2:45 I didn't take any photos.

2:46 What?

2:47 Grant, come on.

2:48 Leslie, you're treating those people like they're your heroes.

2:51 They could be your peers.

2:52 Look, I really hope you take the job, but we're at the end of the line here.

2:55 I need a decision by tomorrow.

2:57 Okay, that's fair.

2:58 I mean, I would be insane not to take the job,

3:01 but I'm just having some trouble thinking about leaving Pawnee.

3:04 I hear's someone who may be able to convince you.

3:06 Hello, Mrs.

3:07 Obama.

3:08 Hey, Grant, how you doing?

3:10 Doing good.

3:11 This is Leslie Knope.

3:12 She's considering a job with us running the new Midwest Bureau in Chicago.

3:16 Well, you know how I feel about Chicago.

3:18 You are from Chicago, so you like it.

3:20 Uh that's right, and we need passionate people like you in our National Parks.

3:25 You know, they get hundreds of millions of visitors each year.

3:28 Are you nodding because you agree with me?

3:30 Yes, and I do agree with you.

3:31 I agree with you on all things throughout history until the end of time forever.

3:35 You and Grant work together?

3:36 Yeah, we work together a lot.

3:38 He's helped me integrate the Let's Move program into our National Parks,

3:41 you know, getting kids outside, rock climbing, hiking.

3:45 Wow, that's really really incredible.

3:46 Great work.

3:47 I'm sorry I'm talking so loud.

3:48 I'm getting louder now, and I can't stop.

3:49 My apologies.

3:50 Just I don't know I Just Can I high five?

3:54 Can I high five you?

3:55 Yeah.

3:55 Well, I hope you take the job.

3:57 Change happens one person at a time.

4:01 Good to meet you.

4:07 [sighs] Again, think it over.

4:12 [laughter] Does anybody feel like they can't breathe?

4:16 I think I need some fresh air.

4:17 We're outside.

4:18 God, these women.

4:20 They're so smart and accomplished and pretty.

4:23 And tall.

4:24 Why are they all so tall?

4:25 It's like C Span and Neiman Marcus had kids or something.

4:29 Hey, so there's a couple more people I want you to meet.

4:31 Oh, great.

4:31 I can't wait to meet like five more tall women.

4:34 Excuse me, Senators.

4:35 Ben Wyatt from Congressman Murray's campaign.

4:37 Ben, I remember you from the Kennedy Center.

4:40 That's right.

4:40 Yeah.

4:40 I wanted to introduce my friend Leslie Knope.

4:43 Senators Barbara Boxer and Olympia Snow.

4:45 Pleasure [music] to meet you.

4:46 How do you do?

4:47 So, Leslie, what do you do?

4:48 I am a city councilwoman from Pawnee,

4:51 Indiana, but you've probably never heard of us.

4:53 We're small and unimportant.

4:54 I'm sure that's not true.

4:56 But it is.

4:57 We've got tons of problems.

4:58 We're overrun with raccoons and obese toddlers.

5:01 Anyway, I'm probably boring you.

5:02 I just wanted to say that you are my role models,

5:06 and you are incredibly amazing women, and it is an honor to meet you,

5:10 and I really respect your grace under pressure, and thank you for your time.

5:18 Excuse me, Senators.

5:22 Uh Leslie?

5:25 Hello.

5:26 What's going on?

5:29 Nothing.

5:28 I'm just tired, okay?

5:30 I saw 24 historical sites in a day,

5:32 and it's 120° out with 200% humidity, cuz this is a stupid swamp town.

5:36 Okay, that would make anyone cranky.

5:38 I'm not cranky.

5:39 Okay.

5:40 I thought you'd enjoy meeting numbers four

5:42 and 26 on Leslie's list of amazing women.

5:45 I do.

5:45 I did.

5:47 You're the most amazing boyfriend ever, and if you don't get out of here soon,

5:51 I'm going to punch you in the face.

5:52 Journal needs a quote for the profile.

5:57 It's fine.

5:58 Just go.

5:58 I'll see you at your apartment later.

6:02 This is Ben Wyatt.

6:07 Excuse me, I just need to get my coat here.

6:10 give me a minute here, please?

6:12 Are you okay?

6:13 Can I get you anything?

6:14 I I would like you to just leave and give me a little privacy here, please.

6:18 All right.

6:18 I'm sorry.

6:19 I hope everything's okay.

6:23 Nosy people have no respect for personal space.

6:27 Gentlemen, welcome to THE STEAKHOUSE OF ST.

6:29 ELMO.

6:30 YEAH!

6:31 TONIGHT WE EAT SOMETHING'S FLESH.

6:33 I WANT MEAT!

6:35 JERRY, are you sure this is our table?

6:36 There's only four settings.

6:38 Excuse me, sir.

6:38 This is not your table.

6:39 Well, I thought you said the Gergech party.

6:41 No, no.

6:41 I said the Gingrich party.

6:44 Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

6:46 Damn it, Jerry.

6:47 But you know what?

6:48 Gingrich, Gergech, I wonder if we're related.

6:52 I don't think so, Jerry.

6:53 Okay.

6:55 Yeah, well, I can't do that right now.

6:57 Oh, boy.

6:58 I'll call you back.

7:00 Hello, Senator.

7:01 Do you have a minute to chat?

7:02 Oh, I can't right now.

7:03 I've got a meeting.

7:03 Well, you actually, I checked with your staff,

7:05 and they said that you have a free half hour.

7:07 Did anyone ever tell you that your tenacity can be intimidating?

7:12 Yes, every month of my life since fourth grade.

7:14 Now, let's talk about National Parks.

7:20 Babe, I don't want to seem dramatic,

7:21 but I've just reconsidered every decision that we've made over the last year,

7:25 and I think we need to stay in Pawnee forever.

7:27 I know.

7:28 But we have to pick up the kids, and we have a flight to catch.

7:31 But when is this group of people ever going to be all together again?

7:34 That's all I want.

7:36 All of these people in the same place at the same time.

7:39 It'll happen someday.

7:41 What's going to happen between now and then?

7:43 A lot.

7:45 And it's all going to be great.

7:46 You promise?

7:47 I promise.

7:55 This is a nice house.

7:57 You say that every time we're here.

7:59 I'm just trying to distract you so you don't have a nervous breakdown.

8:02 I think I am past that point.

8:04 You don't have to worry about me anymore.

8:06 Hey, folks.

8:06 Welcome back.

8:07 Great to have so many good friends and colleagues.

8:10 We're looking forward to a great conversation and a good dinner.

8:12 As usual, there's only one rule.

8:15 No shop talk.

8:16 So, if you want to discuss politics,

8:18 you're going to have to wait until after dinner.

8:20 I'm looking at you, Leslie.

8:22 Okay.

8:22 Well, as long as we get to play charades later.

8:25 Okay.

8:26 Last time we played charades,

8:28 she spent 3 and 1/2 hours You're just mad cuz you lost.

8:33 on.

8:35 Damn, that food was good.

8:37 I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

8:39 Joe Biden knows his way around a seafood risotto.

8:42 You've said that before?

8:44 Anyway, the point is, yes, I do like working at Interior.

8:47 I love it.

8:48 But I'm always looking for new challenges.

8:49 Why do you ask?

8:51 There's a rumor the governor of Indiana isn't going to run again,

8:55 and my friends at the DNC are very interested in you as a candidate.

9:00 For governor of Indiana?

9:02 Someone's been reading my kindergarten dream journal.

9:04 So, what do you think?

9:05 I'll call you next week, and we can talk about it.

9:08 Okay.

9:09 Great.

9:10 Well, this is exciting.

9:11 I'm going to take this energy, and I'm going to go crush Joe Biden in charades.

9:15 The White House, America's most whitest house, most notably,

9:19 is where Sinbad lived in the film First Kid.

9:22 Sinbad.

9:23 Wow.

9:23 The other tour guide never said anything about that.

9:26 Do you know why it's called the Oval Office?

9:29 No.

9:30 Because of a man, Oval Redenbacher, a popcorn inventor.

9:34 He used to hang out with John F.

9:35 Kennedy.

9:36 Excuse me, attention, everyone.

9:38 This tour guide is the most amazing tour guide there ever was.

9:41 Please, step up.

9:44 $200 cash up front.

9:46 I'm decided.

9:47 I'm going to take the job.

9:49 There's so much more in the world to see,

9:51 and I feel like I can really make a difference.

9:53 Oh, and I met Michelle Obama.

9:54 What?

9:55 Why didn't you lead with that?

9:57 Li'l Sebastian has me in a tizzy.

10:00 Uh-oh.

10:02 What's wrong?

10:03 I can't leave Pawnee during a difficult merger that I'm responsible for.

10:08 I have to turn down the job.

10:09 Leslie, no.

10:11 You made up your mind yesterday.

10:13 You Michelle Obama.

10:15 I know, but I've been doing this for months.

10:17 The only thing that I am 100% positive on is that I want to stay and go.

10:22 I'm never going to be able to decide.

10:23 I'm going to be paralyzed by hypotheticals until I

10:26 die here in this minivan at the San Francisco Airport.

10:30 Wait a second.

10:31 I have an idea.

10:35 Drive here.

10:37 Well, that is a gorgeous view.

10:40 Yes, it is.

10:43 But don't look at that.

10:44 Look at this.

10:45 You've been thinking about this job in the abstract.

10:49 Focus on what it actually means.

10:52 We're standing in a national park that stretches 50 miles.

10:56 That's a Presidio over there.

10:57 It's a national park.

10:58 So is Alcatraz and so are the redwoods we just walked through, by the way.

11:02 You take this job places like this will be your office.

11:08 So, we think we can keep costs down and still meet deadlines.

11:11 You know, I have to say I'm really impressed

11:12 with what you guys are doing over at Interior.

11:14 Thank you, Senator Gillibrand.

11:16 We really appreciate your support.

11:17 Would you mind signing a copy of your book?

11:19 I took the liberty of writing the inscription.

11:21 All you have to do is sign.

11:22 To Leslie, my inspiration, my muse, my partner in crime.

11:26 I owe it all to you.

11:27 And there's room for a P.S.

11:29 if you feel there's more you left out.

11:31 Carry-on bags packed, trashy magazines purchased, boarding passes in hand,

11:35 and we have 26 minutes for unstructured chat time.

11:39 What do you want to talk about?

11:40 I don't know.

11:40 Nothing.

11:43 I thought maybe we could talk about your future.

11:45 You want to talk about your future?

11:48 Yeah.

11:48 I've actually been thinking about that a lot lately.

11:51 Yeah, I figured.

11:52 It's hard at your age to figure out your path.

11:54 I know.

11:55 Yeah.

11:56 I was going to surprise you with this in Washington,

11:57 but you know, what the heck?

11:58 It's unstructured chat time.

12:00 So.

12:02 Ta-da!

12:03 This is your clear, definitive path through the federal government.

12:07 It starts here today with this flight and it goes all the way to 2022.

12:12 Cool, right?

12:13 Wow.

12:14 This is intense.

12:15 to make some guesses about your ultimate

12:17 government objectives and your fashion choices, etc.

12:20 But the point is, with this, you don't have to worry.

12:24 I know.

12:25 I feel so relaxed.

12:26 Yeah, I know.

12:28 What's up with these shirts?

12:30 Gov Buds for life.

12:32 Just a little fun I was having, you know.

12:34 I didn't really make the shirts.

12:37 But did you, though?

12:38 Yes, I did.

12:41 Ta-da!

12:44 Oh, and also, I have a middle seat.

12:47 April!

12:48 Group one is boarding.

12:53 Okay, I think we're all set.

12:55 Even though I'm taking the lead on these meetings, don't be afraid to jump in.

12:57 Copy that.

12:58 April, when Randy brings up the river project, that is your cue to

13:02 distract the guards so the Hamburglar can make his escape.

13:06 We're meeting with a lot of senators today.

13:08 Is she going to be okay?

13:09 Yeah, it's just April.

13:10 Trust me.

13:12 And we hope you agree that this is the best

13:14 plan to preserve national parks funding into the next decade.

13:17 Well, so Leslie, what do you think?

13:19 Is Is this the right move?

13:20 Well, I think it's the only move, Senator Boxer.

13:22 I don't think this chance is going to come around again.

13:25 Well, you know, if it's good with Leslie, it's good with me.

13:30 Well, I have another great idea.

13:31 How about you and me, April, Randy, historical lamp posts of D.C.

13:36 walking tour starts in 15 minutes?

13:38 Sounds great, but I do have an appointment with the president.

13:41 Well, I just have to say I'm very surprised that the two

13:44 of you are seeing eye to eye on this one.

13:46 Well, Senator Booker and I are both concerned about

13:48 our nation's resources and that absolutely includes our national parks.

13:52 But that's not all we have in common.

13:54 In fact, our real passion is Pawnee Nation folk music.

14:01 What What?

14:02 Pawnee Nation folk music.

14:04 Our band is playing in Georgetown tonight.

14:06 If you'd like to come, we're called Across the Isle.

14:09 Did you get that?

14:10 Isle?

14:11 Isle, like an island and then across the aisle, the political aisle?

14:15 It's like a pun.

14:15 It's a play on words.

14:17 I do get it.

14:18 We are We are definitely coming to this.

14:19 It's $8 if you buy your tickets now.

14:22 It's $10 at the door.

14:23 Fiscal conservative.

14:25 Love this guy.

14:26 Love this guy.

14:28 Yeah.

14:28 You know, it's just so frustrating.

14:29 I mean, I love her, but you know, you spend so much time and effort on someone's

14:32 life and she's just going to quit on me?

14:33 It's like, what's the point, you know?

14:35 Wow, Leslie.

14:36 I haven't seen you this upset since you almost forgot Ann's half birthday.

14:41 Yeah.

14:41 Tell me, how many times have we had lunch?

14:43 Five.

14:44 Well, eight if you count all those times I

14:46 showed up unannounced at your office with mini muffins.

14:48 And why have we had lunch so many times?

14:51 Well, because when I knew I would be coming to Washington to work,

14:54 I wore you down until you agreed to become my friend.

14:57 I'm so glad that you did and you are a wonderful friend,

15:00 but sometimes you're so focused and driven

15:03 that you forget about people's feelings.

15:06 Name one time I've done that.

15:08 Well, you were so wrapped up in your story that you actually ate my waffle.

15:13 Sometimes, all you can do is give people a little bit of advice and a push,

15:18 but you have to realize April has to be able to make up her own mind.

15:24 [sighs] You're right.

15:24 Once again, Madeline.

15:26 All right.

15:26 Can I have my pin back now?

15:28 Oh.

15:29 Oh, yeah.

15:29 Sorry.

15:30 Thank you for letting me wear it.

15:31 It just makes me feel very powerful.

15:33 Me, too.

15:35 [laughter]