Will & Grace but all the Women WANT Will

0:00 Hi.

0:04 Hi.

0:03 Aren't you sorry?

0:06 I mean, what?

0:08 Oh, nothing.

0:08 It's just that I was watching this movie last

0:10 night and I thought you were the guy from it.

0:13 You're not, are you?

0:15 Actually, I'm not an actor.

0:16 But I get that a lot.

0:20 Another apple martini, please.

0:22 Hi, handsome.

0:25 Sorry, it's the penogrigio talking.

0:28 Italian wines are so chatty.

0:31 Well, be careful.

0:32 When they when they walk past you, they'll pinch your ass.

0:38 I'm at this awful birthday party for my boss.

0:41 She yelled at me for an hour for putting regular milk in her coffee,

0:44 and now she's licking whipped cream off a male stripper.

0:47 Hello.

0:48 Are you allergic to dairy or not?

0:51 That is quite a dichotomy.

0:54 Oo, dichotomy.

0:56 Hi, smart Stephanie.

0:59 We're about to cut the cake.

1:00 Don't make me wish that a happy birthday alone.

1:05 Hey, would it be cool if I came out to talk with you in a little bit?

1:09 Sure, why not?

1:10 Oh, great.

1:11 I'll be back in 10 minutes.

1:12 Make sure you're still cute.

1:16 Like people can control that.

1:23 Uh, Stephanie.

1:25 Oh, hi, sexy.

1:26 Hi, Oblivious.

1:29 Oh my god.

1:30 I was supposed to join you.

1:32 Yeah, like half an hour ago.

1:34 I'm sorry.

1:34 I guess I lost track of time.

1:36 Are Are you mad at me?

1:38 Yeah.

1:38 Yeah, I am a little mad.

1:39 I mean I mean, do you think it's okay to say

1:40 you're going to meet someone and then not show up?

1:42 Is Is that what you do?

1:43 Is that your thing?

1:47 Steph, sorry, I didn't realize it was such a big deal.

1:50 Well, then I guess it wasn't.

1:51 Yeah, you said you liked my vest.

1:52 He said I look like a movie star.

1:54 If that's not a meaningful connection, I don't know what is.

1:58 Have a nice life, Stephanie.

2:02 Well, don't leave.

2:04 Let me make it up to you.

2:06 Let me buy you a drink.

2:07 You think a drink is going to make up for how you hurt my feelings?

2:10 You look cute when you pout.

2:11 I guess I could.

2:15 I'm so embarrassed.

2:15 I just told you that.

2:17 Oh, don't be.

2:17 I think it's cute that you used to steal change from your nana's purse.

2:22 It's a little weird.

2:23 It was yesterday.

2:26 Well, you didn't leave.

2:28 No, I decided to stay.

2:33 Good.

2:33 This is Alex.

2:34 I'm Grace.

2:35 Oh, this is Stephanie.

2:36 Hi, everybody.

2:37 Have you guys eaten yet?

2:38 No.

2:38 We've been so busy talking, we haven't even ordered yet.

2:41 Okay, then.

2:43 What's good?

2:44 What's good?

2:47 Oh, you know, if you get a pasta, I'll get a chicken and then we can share.

2:50 That sounds good.

2:50 If I get a fish and you get a pasta, I'll have half of your pasta.

2:56 You know who I heard has the best pasta in the city?

3:00 BABO.

3:03 I've never been there, but I heard it's delish and romantic.

3:07 We should go.

3:07 Should we go together?

3:08 That would be nice.

3:09 Oh, this weekend.

3:09 It's a date.

3:12 Okay.

3:19 Grace,

3:18 what are you doing?

3:24 What are you doing?

3:25 What are you doing?

3:26 Is this the person you met?

3:27 Leave her out of this.

3:28 I'd like to, but she's fingering your hair.

3:32 And he's holding your hand.

3:34 Are you guys together?

3:35 No, of course not.

3:36 He's gay.

3:37 And she's married.

3:41 You're married?

3:42 You're gay?

3:43 Uh, hello.

3:44 How many straight guys do you know who wear vests?

3:51 And how many single girls do you know who wear a who don't wear a wedding ring?

3:57 It's being resized.

3:58 Yeah, in your pocket,

4:04 I can't believe you.

4:06 We're on a date.

4:07 You thought this was a date?

4:09 You offered to buy me a drink,

4:10 then you made me feel guilty and horrible about myself.

4:13 That's a date.

4:15 married.

4:17 Man, I can't believe it.

4:18 All I wanted was to meet a nice girl,

4:21 get to know her slowly, let it blossom into a meaningful relationship,

4:24 and I just wanted to get laid.

4:29 Your thing sounds better.

4:30 Let's go.

4:35 What are you waiting for?

4:36 Make her move.

4:37 Go for the weak one so we can walk in and catch you.

4:38 I will.

4:39 I just have to figure out a way to get her in the bedroom.

4:41 She's a designer.

4:42 Ask her opinion on something.

4:43 Right.

4:44 Right.

4:44 I'll ask her what what she thinks of my new dust ruffle.

4:50 Great.

4:50 And then you can show her the scarf you're knitting and give

4:52 her a list of all the movies that make you cry.

4:56 Be a guy.

4:56 A big mo.

5:04 So Monet,

5:05 I'd love to.

5:08 So, I guess we should sit down for like anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes.

5:15 Oh, look.

5:16 You need more wine.

5:17 Oh, that's okay.

5:18 I think I've had No, no, no.

5:19 Please.

5:19 There is nothing sexier than a beautiful woman with a glass of wine in her hand.

5:27 Dear Dwin, you're right.

5:28 You're right.

5:31 Well, this is it.

5:32 This is where it all happens.

5:34 Yeah, this baby has seen me through some pretty wild times.

5:39 And I am talking what?

5:41 Uh, damn it.

5:46 I have told that cleaning woman a thousand times,

5:48 what's the point of having a dust ruffle if you can see metal?

5:53 I mean, uh, dust ruffle.

6:00 So, uh, where were we?

6:02 Shut up and French me.

6:06 THERE WAS A TIME when I thought about being a lesbian,

6:08 but it seemed like a lot of extra work.

6:13 Well, it is a commitment.

6:16 Oh, I Hey, I forgot.

6:18 Where's Will and Monae?

6:19 Oh, you know what?

6:20 We should probably go check on them.

6:21 Why don't you walk into the room ahead of me?

6:22 No, forget them.

6:24 I want you.

6:28 Huh?

6:31 Be my partner.

6:33 Look, I thought I made it clear about all the extra work and everything.

6:36 I mean, I just like to lay there.

6:42 Know my design partner.

6:45 Monae is fine.

6:46 No one does more with black and cement,

6:47 but how many apartments can you sell to Moby?

6:52 Oh, well, I'm kind of already partners with Will.

6:56 Well, imagine what the two of us could do together.

6:59 God, your hair is gorgeous.

7:02 Go on.

7:06 Sure, Will seems nice and he puts together an okay party platter,

7:09 but I have got a ton of money

7:13 and I can take you places you've never been before.

7:16 Don't you want that, Grace?

7:17 Don't you want to go to those places?

7:28 Wow, that's hot.

7:27 Women, sexy.

7:28 Yum.

7:31 What time is it?

7:32 God, you're such a good kisser.

7:34 You kiss like a girl.

7:38 I throw like one, too.

7:41 Did you hear something?

7:43 Mhm.

7:43 I thought I heard Grace at the door.

7:44 Grace, is that you?

7:46 Don't come in here.

7:47 Don't Don't you a dear COME IN HERE RIGHT NOW.

7:51 HI, EVERYBODY.

7:52 OH, EVERYBODY.

7:53 This is Diane.

7:54 This is Jack and Karen.

7:56 And this is Will.

7:58 Diane, how do you guys know each other?

8:04 Uh, we once um Okay, I know who you are.

8:08 This is the only girl Will has ever had sex with.

8:17 Oh my god.

8:21 OH MY GOD.

8:22 OH MY GOD.

8:27 I forgot to salt the tomatoes.

8:31 And they are CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO SALT THEMSELVES ON.

8:39 I'm so sorry I didn't call you back the next day or or ever again.

8:46 Yeah.

8:46 Well, I I I was a little surprised when I woke up and you were gone,

8:51 but I did appreciate that you baked cookies and did a lot of whites.

8:56 It's my way of apologizing.

8:57 I just I just felt so weird about the whole thing

8:59 because I was I I was gay and I still am.

9:04 Yeah.

9:05 Like I didn't know that.

9:07 How did you know?

9:08 Probably cuz you put your rubber on with your pinky up, Mary.

9:18 that and that you were kind, sweet, sensitive, wanted to cuddle a lot.

9:26 Don't straight guys like to cuddle?

9:28 Not in an attempt to delay intercourse.

9:32 But you know, the dead giveaway was that you

9:34 cried the whole time we were doing it.

9:38 Don't straight guys like to cry?

9:42 So, what was it, Will?

9:42 Why her, not me?

9:47 I'm going to get the coffee mug.

9:52 I told you this because I cared about you and I didn't care about her.

9:57 You just thrown me out of your house.

9:59 So, I I went to this party, loaded up on vodka and squirt,

10:02 met her, and had what was apparently phenomenal sex.

10:06 The next morning, I I I ran to Jack's house

10:08 and spent the whole day crying and talking about you.

10:14 Really?

10:14 He did.

10:14 He was a rack.

10:16 He was crying so hard he could barely iron his jeans.

10:23 The thing with her was a drunken,

10:24 meaningless night that I only look back on with shame.

10:28 It meant nothing to me.

10:33 Really?

10:35 Well, it meant something to me.

10:43 Huh?

10:41 I remember everything about that night.

10:47 How we met at at Jenny Bun Slaniker's back for mono party.

10:53 You were in the kitchen for some reason running the bong through the dishwasher.

10:59 I was immediately drawn to you because you were cleaner than everybody else.

11:06 Then we we dance to that dinner alive song.

11:09 You spin me round and you did well.

11:12 You spun me right round, BABY.

11:14 RIGHT ROUND.

11:14 LIKE A RECORD, BABY.

11:15 RIGHT ROUND.

11:16 ROUND ROUND.

11:21 The girls love.

11:26 So's your Birkin bag, honey.

11:27 Bad boy chompers.

11:30 Later when when when we made love on my futon, it was so romantic.

11:36 My hair was burning on my hot plate, but I didn't care.

11:41 How could that be?

11:42 I mean, I I didn't What the hell I was doing?

11:44 I was scared.

11:45 I was fumbling.

11:46 I don't even think I took my underwear off.

11:50 All I know is it's the only time I've ever had an orgasm ever in my life.

12:01 What?

12:05 Well, I was close that time, but Ed Cotch wrecked it.

12:14 Isn't it important to you at all?

12:16 I mean, didn't didn't you take anything away from it?

12:20 I I took one of your Benon sweaters.

12:24 That was my roommate's sweater.

12:26 She accused me of stealing it.

12:27 We went to student court.

12:31 I'm sorry.

12:31 I I like I told you, I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

12:33 I was a basket case.

12:35 I still am a basket case.

12:38 Excuse me.

12:40 Oh, yeah.

12:42 This is just where I was hoping this evening was going.

12:52 You know, uh, maybe I should check to see if

12:54 she has an emotionally disturbed brother with the same legs.