[Full Episode] Catch Me If You Can

0:00 Today on Girl Chat, our friend Mel B

0:04 is back and holding it down as guest co-host.

0:07 Why playing hard to get might lose you the man you want.

0:11 So confusing when they start doing this.

0:13 And funeral strippers.

0:15 Yes, it's a thing.

0:17 Hold on.

0:18 Plus, the one and only Ava Duivere is here.

0:22 Ta.

0:23 The real starts now.

0:31 This is my This is my ground again.

0:42 Start right now.

0:44 Right now.

0:49 Start right now.

0:55 again.

1:06 What's up, y'all?

1:09 Well, AS YOU CAN SEE, TAMARA'S NOT here today BECAUSE SHE'S NOT FEELING WELL.

1:14 WE LOVE YOU, TAM TAM, and can't wait for you to get better.

1:17 However, I'm sure you recognize our guest co-host today.

1:20 She's a singer, actress, and judge on the NBC's hit show, AMERICA'S GOT TALENT.

1:26 SAY WHAT'S UP TO OUR GIRL, MALE B.

1:31 Welcome back, male.

1:32 ARE YOU READY FOR SOME GIRL CHAT?

1:34 I am ready.

1:35 All right, let's do it.

1:36 We going to get right into it because first up,

1:39 a lot of women believe that men love the chase and that to land a man,

1:43 they should play a little hard to get.

1:45 Well, according to Business Insider, these women are dead wrong.

1:49 They said that according to studies,

1:51 men are turned off by women who don't come off as readily available

1:56 and turned on by women who they can actually tell like that like them.

2:02 Right.

2:02 So women, do you AGREE

2:05 THAT PLAYING HARD TO get is a dangerous game?

2:09 Yes.

2:11 Yes.

2:10 It's not just a dangerous game.

2:12 It's it's a stupid game.

2:13 It's a losing game.

2:14 Losing dumb, immature,

2:16 playing games with a man is just going to waste nobody's

2:18 time but just yours really at the end of the day.

2:21 Well, WHY YOU GOT TWO ARMS FOLDED?

2:23 Because I've been out of the game for so long.

2:26 How long?

2:26 I don't know how it works.

2:28 How long How long have you been out of the dating game?

2:30 10 years.

2:31 Oh, that's right.

2:32 I don't understand that, Chase.

2:33 Yes.

2:33 I When you were dating, like back in the day, did you used to be like,

2:37 "Oh my god, no." Or like not call a guy back or him be like,

2:40 "Hey, would love to take you to dinner." And even though you really liked him,

2:43 you would like not reply or be like, "Oh, no.

2:45 I'm busy." Cuz you thought you were playing hard to get.

2:47 Did you do that?

2:48 No.

2:48 You just grab and run.

2:51 Exactly.

2:51 Done.

2:51 Get it done.

2:52 That's That's what I'm saying.

2:53 I feel like That sounded really bad actually.

2:56 Grab and run

2:57 in a ladylike way.

2:58 Of course.

2:59 Exactly.

2:59 Yeah.

2:59 I think there's a way to not look

3:01 thirsty and at the same time don't be repellent.

3:04 Like if you like a guy, don't act like you don't want to talk to him.

3:07 Don't act like you don't want to call him back.

3:09 Like that's giving him the message that guess what?

3:11 You don't like him, right?

3:13 Yeah.

3:13 So, why should he keep pressing on somebody that's not into him?

3:16 That's I think there's a difference.

3:18 Keep going.

3:20 I think there's a difference between playing hard to get and being loose.

3:25 Okay.

3:26 That's a big difference.

3:27 And I think still going to be loose.

3:28 Yeah.

3:28 It's like thirsty.

3:29 Definitely.

3:30 Don't be loose.

3:31 Don't be thirsty or easy.

3:32 Easy loose.

3:33 That That's predatorial.

3:35 Be predatorial.

3:36 Okay.

3:36 So, you're you're going a different direction.

3:38 You're saying you're alpha woman, right?

3:39 So, what's predatoral mean to you?

3:41 That's what I mean.

3:41 What does it mean to you?

3:42 You just tell it how it is, grab them, and take them home.

3:46 That That's one way to do it.

3:48 I mean, you have you cook dinner at home if you're lucky.

3:50 So, wait, wait, wait.

3:52 Male, you I know you ain't just grabbing men off the street.

3:54 SO, WELL, NO, that's why I'm saying I've been out of the game for so long.

3:57 That's what I used to do.

3:58 Yeah.

3:58 Okay.

3:59 We don't do that no more because there's certain things.

4:02 Actually, I know.

4:03 I think a lot of me modern men like

4:05 a woman to come first and make the first move.

4:08 Approach them.

4:09 Tell him like that.

4:10 I like that.

4:11 Girl, pick and choose your words carefully.

4:12 Now what I'm saying?

4:14 Is this true?

4:14 You like to approach the man, tell him you like him, ask him out on a date.

4:17 Well, I haven't done it yet.

4:19 Okay.

4:19 But back in the day, I used to do that.

4:22 Okay.

4:21 So, you're saying that I can't do that now?

4:23 No, I'm saying Okay.

4:25 Well, no, I think you can initiate a conversation.

4:29 What I'm saying is taking it to the to the level where it's like so thirsty,

4:34 so loose that it's like now he's kind of like, "Wait a minute, that's too much."

4:38 Yes.

4:38 But I do think there's a difference between being thirsty and loose

4:41 or easy and being doineering about what you want and who you want.

4:46 Like that that's a confident woman.

4:47 A man is gonna find that really attractive and hot.

4:50 That's not a problem.

4:51 But being I don't want a relationship.

4:53 Maybe that's my thing.

4:54 THAT'S GIRL.

4:54 YEAH.

4:55 EXACTLY.

4:55 THAT'S ME TOO.

4:56 I DO NOT WANT NO OTHER relationships where I got

5:00 to TURN IN A TRIP REPORT AND ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF.

5:03 I LIKE being independent and being on my own.

5:06 If I want to date you on Tuesday and date Frank on Wednesday,

5:10 that is my priority.

5:11 I hear that.

5:12 I hear you on that, too.

5:13 BUT FOR THOSE THAT ARE trying to get into a relationship,

5:17 like I have a lot of friends that are trying to get into a relationship,

5:19 I'm always telling them, "Girl,

5:20 if you like him, call him back."

5:22 And like my girlfriends literally will be like, "Oh,

5:25 you know, I don't want to seem like I'm available." WELL,

5:28 GIRL, BUT YOU are available.

5:30 But you know what?

5:31 WHAT IS THAT?

5:32 That comes from these old age rules of dating

5:35 where it's like you got to wait three days.

5:39 So dumb.

5:40 Or wait for HIM TO CALL YOU FIRST.

5:41 HONEY, YOU WAIT FOR HIM TO CALL YOU FIRST.

5:43 HE MAY NEVER CALL.

5:44 THEN WHAT YOU GOING TO DO?

5:45 AND INSTEAD HE'LL CALL THE GIRL THAT DIDN'T play games.

5:47 Look, if you don't want nobody to play games with you,

5:49 don't play games with them.

5:50 Yeah.

5:51 If if you want an honest reply, like just think about it.

5:55 If you were if you were calling a guy,

5:58 right, and he's sitting at home going, "Man,

6:00 I really like her, but I don't want her to know I like her, you would be really

6:04 mad knowing that he's playing those kind of games."

6:06 And and you have to be the example that shows,

6:08 "Look, I'm just going to keep it real."

6:10 I used to play them games in high school, BUT I'M CONFUSED.

6:13 WHAT ARE YOU confused about?

6:14 Like, what are you meant to do then?

6:16 Okay.

6:17 Break it down.

6:18 I hear what you're saying.

6:18 When I haven't been dating for 10 years either.

6:20 We're freshly divorced, so you're not sure about the rules now.

6:23 Now, people got dating apps.

6:24 People text all the time now.

6:25 They don't even I see what you're saying.

6:27 So Lonnie, you're the satisfied and single expert.

6:30 Tell us tell us.

6:31 Do tell Grasshopper.

6:33 How do we do it?

6:34 What What is What is What are the steps nowadays?

6:37 Well, THERE FIRST OF ALL, THE steps are whatever you want the steps to be.

6:40 All right, that's the first thing you we are living in an age where

6:44 women are doing so many unique things and especially when it comes to dating.

6:48 Like if you go on a dating app, you can actually,

6:51 you know, describe what type of man you like.

6:53 And once you see that you It's just like a dating

6:55 app or if you see a man at the bar,

6:57 you know, if you you like him, you swipe left and you like, I like him, right?

7:02 So if you go to the bar, he was like, "Hey, how you doing?

7:04 Let me buy you a drink." Yes.

7:06 I would stop it at that.

7:07 I would get his conversation, exchange numbers,

7:10 and see where it GOES FROM THERE.

7:12 I'M NOT GOING TO GO HOME WITH HIM.

7:14 YES.

7:14 The minute I meet him, that's what I'm saying.

7:16 for me.

7:18 Genie Genie, you be buying guys drinks.

7:20 Um, yeah.

7:21 If I like a guy, if I see a guy, I like I've never done that.

7:24 I like the reaction of a man when you as a woman who

7:27 feels all confident like you're feeling yourself and you step forward to a man,

7:30 yo, that drops their panties, man.

7:32 They love that stuff.

7:33 Well, this is that.

7:35 But if a guy asked me that he wanted to buy

7:38 me a drink and I genuinely liked him, I wouldn't say no.

7:40 Do you get what I'm saying?

7:41 Like a lot of women, if I'm approached, I'm going to be like, "Of course.

7:45 Thank you.

7:46 But what I'm saying is if you see a guy that you like and you like,

7:48 you know, you're at a bar, you have a conversation, you know, and you like, "Oh,

7:51 I got his drink." Now, this is how you test him.

7:54 Y'all have that drink.

7:55 If he don't buy you a drink, then you that's not the type of dude for you.

7:59 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

8:00 LIKE RECIPROCATED.

8:01 It has to be You always I think it's I think it's very modern and and and hot

8:06 when a woman makes the first move and then you leave the ball in his court.

8:10 Leave the ball in his court.

8:11 Yes.

8:12 But you know what I'm saying?

8:13 like you let him make the next move to show you where he takes it

8:15 next because I think at the end of the day a real man likes to pursue.

8:20 They like they like to conquer.

8:22 They like to have a little bit.

8:23 YES.

8:24 BUT YOU GOT TO GIVE THEM A SIGNAL, GENIE.

8:26 SO SEE THIS IS WHAT I SAY.

8:27 WHEN YOU AT THE BAR, RIGHT?

8:28 When you at the bar, right?

8:29 Let me show you how you get them that look.

8:31 Let me show you.

8:31 You going to practice it, right?

8:32 You look in that camera.

8:33 You go.

8:38 OH, now you try.

8:41 YOU TRY.

8:42 NO, I think I'm just going to stay.

8:44 You ain't GOING TO TRY.

8:44 YOU GOT NO.

8:45 NO.

8:45 GIRL, NO.

8:46 YOU GOT TO HAVE A LOOK.

8:47 GENIE.

8:47 You got to have a look.

8:48 Okay.

8:48 Here's mine.

8:49 Okay.

8:49 Ready?

8:49 Ready?

8:49 Ready?

8:49 All right.

8:50 Watch.

8:54 SEE?

8:57 YES.

8:56 SEE, that's is it's JUST IT'S JUST A WHOLE AMERICA right now.

9:01 I think it's funny with mine.

9:02 You got to have it.

9:02 You got to be ready like that at the bar.

9:04 You got to have scary right over there.

9:07 He's looking yonder.

9:08 What do you do?

9:10 Let's go.

9:11 Okay.

9:11 LOOK.

9:11 RIGHT UP.

9:13 LOOK AT THIS.

9:14 LOOK into this camera.

9:16 THAT WAS IT.

9:17 FIVE.

9:17 FIVE.

9:17 CAMERA.

9:18 FIVE.

9:18 RIGHT HERE.

9:18 LOOK AT CAMERA.

9:19 OKAY.

9:19 OKAY.

9:19 Get yourself together.

9:21 I'm not GIRLY GIRL LIKE THAT.

9:24 DO YOU EVER LOOK?

9:26 COME ON THEN.

9:29 DO YOUR NBA.

9:31 LET'S GO.

9:32 YOU BACK IN THE I LOVE IT.

9:35 I love it.

9:36 That works for her.

9:37 If that works for MelB, I'm gonna try that.

9:39 Well, something most men love are strippers, especially in China.

9:44 Yes, I did say that.

9:46 According to the age.com,

9:47 the Ministry of Culture in Beijing is trying to crack

9:50 down on strippers doing vulgar performances at people's funerals.

9:55 Say what?

9:56 You you guys please listen.

9:58 Okay.

9:58 Some people believe that they will bring them luck after they pass on.

10:03 And this isn't anything new, everybody.

10:04 The war against funeral strippers has been going on in China for over a decade.

10:10 China's even offering a reward for anyone

10:12 who calls into a hotline to report one.

10:15 Ladies, strippers at funerals.

10:17 Do you think that this is a good way to send somebody into the afterlife?

10:22 No.

10:22 I'm trying to get them to go to heaven, not hell.

10:25 So, this is going on here.

10:28 Yes.

10:28 A PURE THING HERE.

10:30 WELL, THEY DO IT SO THAT they could get attendance at the from what I

10:34 was reading to get to get attendance for people to attend if they you know, but

10:38 I want you to attend my if you don't ain't having that strippers.

10:41 Mount Calvary Baptist Church is not having strippers.

10:44 No, not like that.

10:45 Well, in in many of these beliefs,

10:47 it's in order to bless the person and bring them joy like get them all

10:50 hyped up pretty much to go into the afterlife so that they can get some.

10:55 That's how they think.

10:56 Genie, I'm not saying I think that you know Chinese culture.

10:58 I do, but not all Chinese people and not all Asians are alike, let me tell you.

11:03 Do you know anyone in your family that has done this?

11:06 No.

11:06 Never.

11:07 Would you do it?

11:08 No.

11:08 She'd be calling the hotline to report them.

11:11 No.

11:11 Uh, if I Yes, I would.

11:12 I I'm not down for this because of many other reasons,

11:15 but I want to say that um there are a lot

11:17 of weird practices people do at funerals in order to let someone go.

11:21 Like in our culture, in Vietnamese culture,

11:23 you actually stuff the body with money in order

11:26 to let them to to This isn't Buddhist thinking, right?

11:29 This isn't me.

11:30 Okay.

11:31 Saved by the blood of Jesus over here.

11:32 Thank you very much.

11:35 Right.

11:34 But we when my uncle passed away, they put money inside of his pockets in order

11:38 to make sure he was secure and had his clothes.

11:41 I thought you meant they stuffed IN HIS BODY.

11:43 OH NO.

11:45 I WAS LIKE, they do that.

11:47 You guys, you we all know that if somebody

11:49 has passed on and they prepare you for a funeral,

11:52 sometimes you be looking a little frail, so they you up with Okay.

11:57 I thought that person was stuffed with money at the funeral.

11:59 Oh my god.

12:00 I know.

12:00 WAIT, WHAT ABOUT IN your cultures?

12:02 Like, do they do they do anything when you pass on?

12:05 Africanamean, most Africanamean um communities, we call it homegoing.

12:10 We don't call it a funeral.

12:11 A homegoing is where we celebrate the person's life.

12:14 And so, we talk about the goodness that they did

12:16 while they were on Earth so that it's not as sad.

12:19 I remember the best funeral I ever went to was this really great homegoing.

12:23 And they had his whole family.

12:25 They showed pictures.

12:26 They talked about THE AND NOBODY CRIED BECAUSE

12:28 IT WAS LIKE they play really good music.

12:31 Instead of strippers, we have singers and um

12:34 you know, I mean, and it was just a great it was a great homegoing.

12:38 So, we really don't say funerals.

12:39 We we say homegoing, you know.

12:41 I see.

12:41 That's No, that's beautiful.

12:42 I love service.

12:44 In the in the Caribbean, we have a three-day NON-STOP PARTY.

12:47 OH, REALLY?

12:48 FULL ON CELEBRATION.

12:50 But not in the church, though, right?

12:51 Well, it starts off in the church and then everybody's houses.

12:54 Yeah.

12:54 Oh,

12:55 everybody cooks food and they eat a lot, right?

12:57 Yeah, we have the weights.

12:58 Where does the body go?

12:59 Does the body come along?

13:01 No, the body goes underground.

13:02 Oh, on the first day.

13:04 Yes.

13:04 Okay.

13:04 And then after that, you guys turn up.

13:06 Turn up.

13:06 Yes.

13:06 For two days solid.

13:08 It's like a celebration.

13:10 That's like a celebration.

13:12 Beautiful.

13:12 Yeah.

13:13 Yeah.

13:13 What do you do?

13:14 What about Ecuadorian Puerto Rican?

13:15 You know, keep it pretty simple.

13:17 I mean, you have a We do have funerals.

13:19 Uh, somebody might sing, somebody might speak.

13:22 Yeah.

13:22 But, um, you usually go to the f the main person in that family.

13:25 You go to their home and you sit with them and you pray with them.

13:28 You try to get them through that hard time.

13:29 We actually keep it pretty somber.

13:31 I wish it was more festive, but a lot of the people when I grew up,

13:34 you know, um, the funerals were very sad, very somber.

13:38 There was no strippers, I'll tell you that much.

13:41 No, like I grew up Pentecostal.

13:43 So, we had like a full-on uh service in the church

13:46 and we prayed with the families and told them that, you know,

13:49 they're now with the Lord and that everything's going to be okay

13:51 and God has a plan and a purpose and they're in a better place.

13:54 That sort of thing that gets the family through.

13:56 I do think though, if it's going to be

13:57 your funeral and you're allowed to have certain performances,

14:00 why can't you dream a little and go

14:02 ahead and like want the best for your funeral?

14:05 Like, I wouldn't mind at my funeral.

14:06 I would like Jodicy to come perform.

14:10 Like, all my life, come talk to me.

14:13 all all my life.

14:15 Definitely Casey and Jojo.

14:16 But I'm gonna let you know Jody and I would have come and talk to me because

14:20 I that was one of my favorite songs that got me very good times in high school.

14:24 And

14:24 you want to have a concert and show your

14:25 I do I would want Common to read my eulogy because

14:29 you know it's my last chance to have my chance with Common.

14:33 I love that.

14:34 I have to respect people's culture.

14:37 But don't try to act like this your culture if you ain't

14:39 from China from back in the day and now you're just coming out.

14:41 Oh, I heard that this is cultural to have strippers at funerals.

14:44 You know, there's some dude that's going to try to tell

14:46 somebody that that's a good idea when that their culture.

14:49 Well, you know, well, some people they do um you know,

14:52 like um prop, you know, prop up the body.

14:54 They do that in Puerto Rico, right?

14:56 Yeah.

14:56 Did you see that?

14:57 They stuff them and they put them in not with money.

15:00 They stuff them like if they're like a prop

15:02 and they put them with their eyes open, maybe playing uh dominoes

15:06 or cars, whatever or driving a motorcycle,

15:08 they'll put the guy on the motorcycle and he's

15:10 in the corner of the house and people

15:11 come and visit the home where that p

15:13 that member is literally with his eyes open like

15:15 like that.

15:16 Oh, I'm glad I'm sticking to my culture.

15:18 I want the three-day party.

15:20 I LIKE THE PARTY.

15:22 I like THE PARTY, TOO, GIRL.

15:23 I have to party everywhere you are.

15:25 So I can see that.

15:26 But we have to take a break.

15:27 WE'RE GOING TO KEEP PARTYING RIGHT HERE WITH SOME

15:28 MORE GIRL chat right after this with guest co.

15:31 Don't go anywhere.

15:32 You're watching the real.

15:44 Welcome back to the real Tam's not here today because she's not feeling well.

15:47 Get better soon girl.

15:49 But who is here is our guest co-host Melby.

15:54 MELIE.

15:54 AND WE'RE ABOUT TO GET right back into some more girl chat.

15:57 Now, addressing someone as sir or ma'am seems like a polite thing to do.

16:02 Right.

16:02 Right.

16:03 Well, did you know that it can actually be insulting?

16:06 Corora.com recently asked their readers if they call people younger

16:09 than themselves sir or ma'am and got a very mixed response.

16:14 One lady said that in the south sir or ma'am are

16:16 genu generally used to address people that are older than you.

16:20 However, another reader disagreed,

16:22 saying that everyone deserves respect regardless of age

16:26 until they show they don't deserve it anymore.

16:29 So, ladies, what do you think?

16:31 Have you guys ever been addressed as sir,

16:33 ma'am, or something that like made you feel uncomfortable?

16:35 Okay, I want to make this perfectly clear.

16:37 Oh, god.

16:37 Oh, God.

16:38 My name is Auntie Lonnie.

16:40 to the kids.

16:42 If you are 30 or 40 years old and I see you at the airport,

16:46 at the mall, at the store,

16:48 I do not need you looking the same age as me calling me,

16:51 "Hey, Auntie Lonnie." It's for the babies.

16:56 AND

16:56 LEAVE IT FOR ARIA AND AIDEN.

16:58 YEAH.

16:59 HEY, AUNTIE LONNIE, you old as me.

17:00 HE I AM NOT YOUR AUNTIE.

17:04 You see, in England, we only have two words.

17:06 In England, it's completely different.

17:08 We either have sir or miss and that's it.

17:11 And does it apply to all ages?

17:13 All ages.

17:15 Oh, that's actually good because miss at 30 or 80 is it works.

17:19 Yeah.

17:19 Yeah.

17:20 Well, I do believe that kids of a certain

17:22 age should call their elders sir or ma'am.

17:25 And I think that we need to, you know,

17:26 instill that into our children because it shows a sign

17:29 of respect to%, you I actually I find that very serious.

17:34 Even like even at times, you know,

17:36 um when when we when we have people on set that are older,

17:39 you know, I I can't joke with them

17:40 as comfortably as like us just because you respect them.

17:43 You don't you know, you don't roll with them like, "Oh, bitch." LIKE, YOU CAN'T.

17:51 But like how we do with each other,

17:52 but I do I hold very dear to my cultural um references to elders, you know.

17:58 I think in Spanish you do too.

17:59 you have a certain title for people who are

18:01 like 20 to 40 and then 40 on and then

18:06 seor and yeah and right so it's just I think for me I still like that and I

18:10 look at it that way but I know in American uh language like ma'am it

18:14 can be referred to you as older it

18:16 can be offensive if you're not older and sometimes

18:18 people use it to be condescending like I've

18:20 never tried to like you know return something

18:24 so now I do understand it somebody you need to look

18:28 out for this Somebody might be shading you and you're like, "Hi, okay, ma'am."

18:33 And I wouldn't get it.

18:34 Well, one time I remember um I got stopped by a cop and I had on a a a cap

18:39 and I had on this big coat and so he walked up to the my window and he was like,

18:44 "Sir." AND I WAS LIKE, "I'M NOT A SIR.

18:47 I'M A MAN." BUT THAT'S HOW I GOT OUT OF THE THE TICKET

18:51 because I made him feel bad because he thought I was a female.

18:55 So in that case, I was happy he called me sir.

18:58 That is a good one though.

18:59 When it comes to authorities, always start out with sir or ma'am.

19:03 The second you get woo that thing comes by and roll down.

19:07 Yes, sir.

19:07 Yes, ma'am.

19:08 Yes, your honor.

19:09 Like whatever it is, let it out, man.

19:11 Cuz that'll GET YOU OUT OF THAT HIGHNESS.

19:13 WHATEVER.

19:14 YOU KNOW,

19:15 whatever you got to do my le.

19:17 Okay.

19:17 You know.

19:18 Yes.

19:18 My lege.

19:19 Yeah.

19:19 So, do you like But the question is,

19:21 would you be offended if someone called you ma'am at this age?

19:25 Say, would you be offended?

19:26 Well, now you've described it like that.

19:28 Yes, I would.

19:30 Okay.

19:29 Because it's like for an elder.

19:31 So, how do you tell them?

19:32 Do you don't call me that?

19:34 How do you go about saying that?

19:35 Like, I'm not being funny, but like if somebody straight up was like,

19:38 "Auntie Lonnie," would you check them?

19:40 Would you be like

19:41 I say, "Girl, I'm just Lonnie to you." Right.

19:43 That's how I do it with a joke and a smile.

19:47 I'm not a ma'am.

19:48 I'm Lonnie.

19:49 Yeah.

19:49 I've had people do THAT TO ME BEFORE.

19:55 YOU JUST DON'T LET HIM HEAR THAT PART.

19:57 TOO BRITISH, I think.

19:58 Yeah, YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT.

19:59 YOU'RE TOO PROUD.

20:02 NO.

20:02 NO.

20:03 UH-UH.

20:03 NO.

20:03 Definitely don't do that.

20:04 Kill them with kindness.

20:05 JUST KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS.

20:06 DO IT WITH A SMILE.

20:08 BUT also teach your kids, like we said, to be respectful of their elders.

20:12 Nothing's wrong with that.

20:13 That's right.

20:13 I'm going to respect this break we're about to take right now.

20:15 But don't go anywhere because there's more girl

20:17 chat right after this with guest co-host Mel.

20:21 Yeah, exactly.

20:32 Welcome back.

20:32 Our girl Tam is at home sick.

20:34 We want her to get better soon.

20:36 Now it's time to get into some more girl.

20:41 Bad dream MUST MEAN IT'S TIME FOR THE REAL TIME LIVE BLING.

20:44 HEY GIRL.

20:46 Hey guys.

20:48 What's up calling?

20:49 What's your name and where are you from?

20:50 My name is Julie and I'm from Monrovia, California.

20:53 Who's the cute baby with you?

20:55 This is my son, Jackson.

20:57 Hi, Jackson.

20:58 He's so cute.

20:59 Hi, Jack.

21:00 Oh my god, those cheeks.

21:01 Jackson.

21:02 Oh my gosh.

21:03 How old is he?

21:05 6 months.

21:05 And you said you're watching us in what part of California?

21:09 Um, Morovia.

21:10 Morovia.

21:10 Okay.

21:11 So, you're watching us on Fox 11.

21:14 Kelly in the house.

21:15 You guys have very good wine out there.

21:18 YES.

21:18 LIFT HIM UP A LITTLE BIT.

21:19 I CAN'T SEE HIS WHOLE FACE.

21:21 OH, there he is.

21:22 There he IS FOR US.

21:24 I'M

21:26 SQUEEZING.

21:26 HI, CUTIE.

21:28 What do you love about the show?

21:31 I just love how honest you guys are.

21:33 I love hearing your opinions on every topic you guys talk about.

21:37 Um, my most recent one, I like when you guys talk about like parenting

21:42 and I also like when you guys talk about like fashion or celebrities.

21:45 Normally, I would keep up with celebrities because I'm

21:48 honestly busy with my with my kids and everything.

21:51 So, I kind of just um listen to what's going on through you guys.

21:56 Actually, you guys are my MAIN SOURCE.

21:58 THANK YOU.

21:59 OKAY, listen to what we got going on for you right now.

22:02 Okay.

22:02 Are you interested in winning a little C- Cash?

22:06 Of course.

22:07 All right.

22:08 Okay, Julie, here's your chance.

22:09 Every one of us up here loves to tell a good story,

22:12 but can you tell when the ladies are are aren't being totally honest?

22:15 So today we're going to pick Genie against Adrian.

22:18 Each host has 15 seconds to tell you a quick tail.

22:21 It's up to you to pick who's telling the truth.

22:23 If you choose correctly, you can score an easy $200.

22:27 All right,

22:27 you can do it.

22:29 ALL RIGHT, SO LET'S START OFF WITH GENIE.

22:34 OKAY.

22:34 UM, so Mama Mai has us three kids tattooed on her shoulder.

22:39 Okay, don't ask me why.

22:41 Recently, I saw a fourth name on there.

22:42 And when I asked her who it was, she said that it belonged to a young

22:46 girl who lives in Vietnam that she's recently

22:48 adopted because she felt really bad for her cuz

22:50 she's a poor little girl who's an orphan.

22:52 ALL RIGHT, THERE'S JEANIE'S STORY.

22:54 ADRIAN, you go.

22:55 All right, here it goes.

22:56 So, when I was actually in seventh grade, I broke my leg.

22:58 I got a huge cast on it and everybody was

23:00 like signing it for graduation and I actually had them part.

23:03 You know when you have it take it off, they like saw it down the middle.

23:06 I actually still have the cast.

23:07 It's in my mom's house and I have it for memor like everyone has signed it.

23:11 everyone in my family.

23:12 And

23:13 all right, there we go.

23:14 Okay.

23:14 Who do you think is telling the truth?

23:21 You think Adrian is telling the truth?

23:24 YOU'RE WRONG.

23:25 I'M SORRY.

23:25 YOU GOT IT BACKWARDS.

23:27 Genie is our truth teller.

23:29 You know,

23:30 but you know what?

23:32 WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU THE BONE.

23:33 WE'RE STILL GOING TO WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU THE $200 ANYWAY.

23:36 ALL RIGHT.

23:37 ALL RIGHT.

23:37 Thank you.

23:38 Thanks for being part of Girl Chat, JULIE AND JACKSON.

23:41 BYEBYE.

23:42 WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE OF THE REAL RIGHT AFTER THIS.

23:54 Welcome back to the real Sam's out six today.

23:56 Feel better, girl.

23:57 But we're having fun with our guest co-host Mel Be.

24:04 Now, it's no secret that I'm a big fan of selfies and self-love.

24:08 So, I'm super excited about the latest

24:09 internet challenge that's combining the two.

24:12 The hashtag sideprofile selfie challenge was started by Reda

24:15 Sanani to destroy the stigma of having a big nose.

24:19 Reda tweeted out this gorgeous side profile pick saying, quote,

24:23 "Let's stop hating our noses for not being tiny little snubs and learn

24:27 to love them by sharing a hashtag sideprofile selfie." since the post.

24:32 Yeah, this is awesome.

24:33 Love that.

24:34 That's great.

24:34 So many others have followed ReadA's lead

24:36 by posting and embracing their side profiles.

24:39 So ladies, are you ready to embrace your side

24:41 profile or is there anything that you're self-conscious about?

24:45 You see, aren't you meant to have one better side?

24:48 I've heard that.

24:49 I've heard that, too.

24:50 So

24:51 it depend on what type of wig I got on.

24:53 You know, if I want to, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

24:55 CUZ IT'S LIKE SOMETIMES NO,

24:56 I DON'T WANT TO do But if I have on that blunt wig now,

24:59 remember when we went out to the club?

25:00 Yes.

25:00 And I had that blunt wig on.

25:02 It's my favorite wig.

25:04 You took that video of her from side profile.

25:06 THERE YOU GO.

25:06 LOOK AT HER.

25:06 LOOK AT

25:11 YEAH.

25:11 SEE, that's the side right there.

25:13 That's a good side.

25:14 A good side profile.

25:15 A good hair should always frame your like even if you have a bad profile,

25:18 if you get a really good hairstyle that shim

25:21 shimies like that, it actually makes whatever profile look good.

25:24 I just think the dope thing about this is

25:25 that she's embracing who she is and not avoiding.

25:28 I know so many of us have angles that we don't like.

25:31 Maybe it's not a profile one.

25:32 Maybe it's something different that you're like, "Oh,

25:33 my nose looks big, my chin, my whatever the case is,

25:36 or I look bigger." Whatever it is,

25:38 that she's accepting who she is from every single angle.

25:42 And I think that that message is so dope.

25:44 I always take side profile pictures.

25:46 I scan through my Instagram and I was like, "Whoa, I I'm took this side profile.

25:50 I'm into this side profile." I actually think I

25:52 like my nose better from the side than straight on.

25:56 WHAT KIND OF SIDE IS THAT?

25:57 THAT'S THE SIDE.

25:57 YOU SEE THAT side nose?

25:59 That's the side.

26:00 I prefer my nose from the side.

26:03 I actually think it looks way too long from the front.

26:06 Like my nose starts too high up.

26:07 Like it's like starting between my eyebrows.

26:09 What are you talking about?

26:10 It starts too high.

26:12 I don't think I've looked at myself THAT MUCH.

26:14 I MEAN, AS AS A SPICE GIRL, my go-to pose WAS THIS.

26:19 OH, YEAH.

26:20 OH, YEAH.

26:21 I STILL don't know how to pose.

26:22 was saying that the other day when we were doing girl chat,

26:25 you you said, "Genie, I'm not sure how to pose." Cuz sometimes we pose

26:28 and we get all picture and Mel was actually like,

26:31 "Jenie, I don't know how to do this.

26:33 Like, how should I pose?" And I was like, "GIRL, YOU'RE A SPY GIRL.

26:35 What are you talking about?" She goes, "No,

26:36 that's why I never did pretty poses cuz I just did this." Ah, that was it.

26:40 But why?

26:41 Explain.

26:41 Is there is there a reason why?

26:43 Well, I think I'm not a girly girl in the fact that I

26:47 I I have angles and I study myself and I criticize myself like that.

26:50 So, but you a sexy girl though.

26:52 Yeah, very sexy.

26:55 So, the other girls were like that.

26:56 The other girls were very had their p and I

26:59 I just thought and you were just like, you know what?

27:00 Let me just go with this.

27:01 Well, that and that's why you were named scary.

27:03 But if we named you sexy spice, though,

27:06 come back as sexy spice.

27:09 Really?

27:09 Yeah.

27:09 I think cuz all your scary was very sexy.

27:12 Yeah.

27:12 You single now so you could be sexy.

27:14 YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO BE YOU GOT TO LOOSEN UP, MALE.

27:17 You be too, you know, you too tense, girl.

27:19 Let's loosen up.

27:20 Let's get sexy.

27:21 I don't want you to do that.

27:22 I really like scary stuff.

27:23 You were my favorite Spice Girl and you

27:24 still are because you just did what you did.

27:27 I love that.

27:28 So true.

27:28 Seriously, when you're trying to be all sexy all the time, it's actually not

27:31 ALL THE TIME, BUT SOMETIMES there are moments when you will be sexy.

27:34 But I think being herself made her sexy.

27:38 Yeah, that's true.

27:39 But like finding your own thing.

27:40 Everybody else was doing this.

27:43 Yes.

27:42 Yes.

27:43 AND ALL OF THIS.

27:44 IT ACTUALLY WAS SUPER hot that SHE WAS LIKE,

27:47 "NO, I didn't I didn't SAY NOTHING WAS WRONG with it." I said,

27:51 "But as you change, sometimes you do get

27:53 a little sexy." And it's nothing wrong with that.

27:55 I think at the end of the day, the sexiest thing,

27:57 the sexiest curve on your entire body is your smile.

28:00 So, even if you give it a little a good smile and

28:04 you got a good smile.

28:07 I like to laugh, not smiles.

28:08 I like a proper belly laugh.

28:10 That smile was like a ball.

28:12 Yes, it is.

28:13 Happy girls are the sexiest girl.

28:15 Oh my god.

28:16 We have to take a break, but there's so much more of the real.

28:18 Let's guest co-host Mel.

28:29 WELCOME BACK.

28:29 NOW, TAM IS OUT TODAY.

28:30 We miss you, girl.

28:31 But I'm so excited about today's guest.

28:33 She really doesn't need an introduction.

28:35 She's the creator of the hit smash Queen

28:37 Sugar and the acclaimed director BEHIND SELMA AT 13.

28:42 AND NOW WITH HER LATEST FILM, DISNEY'S A WRINKLE IN TIME,

28:45 SHE IS MAKING HISTORY AS THE FIRST WOMAN OF COLOR

28:47 TO DIRECT a film with a budget of over $100 million.

28:52 Get to your feet and welcome ONE IN A MILLION, AVA DUPAN.

29:00 BEAUTIFUL.

29:23 I love you.

29:29 Thank you.

29:30 understand.

29:33 Thank you very much.

29:35 So will be on honor to have you.

29:38 I'm going to get right into it.

29:39 Okay.

29:39 You made a wrinkle in time for kids from the ages of 8 to 12, right?

29:43 I'm curious as to what you were doing or what you

29:45 wanted to be when you were growing up at that age.

29:47 Well, I'm so happy to be here.

29:48 First of all, I love you for it.

29:52 YOU PRO I SAW you recently and you promised you would come and you did.

29:55 She told me.

29:56 She's been she's been tweeting me.

29:58 I'VE BEEN BEGGING HER.

29:59 SO, THANK YOU.

30:00 I'M HAPPY.

30:01 I'm happy to be here.

30:02 SO MUCH.

30:03 NO, NO.

30:04 WHEN I WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, I was a super super geek.

30:07 I was a nerd.

30:08 I was really, it's not hard to, you know, imagine.

30:11 Um, but I want to be a lawyer.

30:15 Really, I really wanted to fight for justice and be

30:16 like Thood Marshall and be in there with my briefcase.

30:19 And so, when I was when I was 9 years old,

30:23 my my godmother Charlene got me a briefcase and I thought, that's it.

30:27 a few short steps to the courtroom like I'm ready.

30:30 This is it.

30:30 I got the briefcase.

30:31 I'm I'm ready to try a case right now.

30:33 Right.

30:34 Um but I really that I really have always had a a desire to just help people.

30:38 I love that.

30:39 And you are doing that.

30:40 You are doing that.

30:41 Did you go to the movies a lot when you were a kid?

30:43 I went to the movies so much when I was a kid.

30:45 That was my thing.

30:45 I grew up in Compton.

30:46 My aunt Denise gave me a love of Compton.

30:51 Shout out to my aunt Denise.

30:54 My aunt Denise um she uh she gave me a love of films.

30:57 She took me uh to the to the movies

31:00 every during matineese because they were cheap.

31:02 We take the bus, we'd go to the movies and we'd see

31:05 films like Never- Ending Story and these films where kids got to fly,

31:09 but those kids were never kids that were brown.

31:11 They never looked like me.

31:12 One of the reasons why I really had to make a wrinkle in for that.

31:17 Now, another great thing that recently happened is that you got your own Barbie.

31:23 Yeah.

31:21 How does that feel?

31:22 LOOK AT YOU.

31:24 YOU WERE SO EXCITED.

31:25 How did it happen?

31:27 It was cool.

31:28 That's crazy.

31:29 Um, it has a little director's chair and everything.

31:31 Yeah, I know.

31:32 So cute.

31:33 It says Ava Doover there on the back just like

31:34 it does in real life cuz that's what I did.

31:37 Um, but yeah.

31:37 No, they called me up and they told me that they they liked my work

31:40 and like what I did and thought I would uh be a good inspiration for girls.

31:44 So, they were making a Barbie.

31:48 It was real.

31:49 So great.

31:50 They were right.

31:50 Now, last year you got to direct Jay-Z's music video, Family Feud.

31:54 It was great.

31:56 You had uh Beyonce and Blue Ivy in there.

31:59 You know, how did you get that job?

32:00 And how did you start working with their family?

32:03 It's so crazy.

32:04 He just called.

32:06 Really?

32:06 I had never spoken with him before.

32:07 I didn't even know he knew that I existed.

32:09 But I got a call and they said he wants to talk to you about an idea.

32:13 And then I talked to him and it was his voice on the phone,

32:15 like his rapping voice talking to me.

32:17 Say words.

32:20 OH, NO.

32:20 THEY were very cool and very very nice people.

32:23 Really normal people considering that they're a super duper superstars.

32:28 Exactly.

32:27 And um really lovely.

32:28 She's so gracious and gentle and he's they're very smart.

32:32 Yeah.

32:32 They're just very very intelligent, loving people.

32:34 Yeah.

32:36 Exciting.

32:37 Exciting.

32:37 Now, I have to ask you, you started your career off as a publicist.

32:40 How did you be how do you then become a director?

32:43 Yeah, I started in a completely different career.

32:45 I used to publicize and promote and help other filmmakers get their films

32:49 to to the public and I was always around filmmakers and thought,

32:52 "God, I wish I could make a film." I really

32:54 think it's just a testament to um you can always change.

32:57 I didn't pick up a camera until I was 32 years old.

32:59 Let them know which is which is older as a filmmaker and um and so you know,

33:05 you can always change.

33:06 You know, the path that you're on it doesn't

33:08 have to be the path that you end on.

33:10 You can always evolve.

33:12 Well, you know what?

33:13 This is the thing.

33:14 We are so proud of you and what you are doing.

33:17 Why is representation for females directors so important?

33:21 Well, you know, representation in cinema and in movies

33:23 is just is just key and in television as well.

33:25 I mean, we should have images that reflect the real world.

33:28 It's really simple.

33:30 So, uh you know, all of the all of the heroes in film shouldn't look one way.

33:35 They shouldn't all be boys.

33:36 They shouldn't all be Caucasian boys.

33:37 They should be girls.

33:38 There should be girls of color.

33:39 There should be all kinds of girls.

33:41 There should be all kinds of boys.

33:42 They just want everyone to see themselves.

33:46 Exactly.

33:46 Speaking of that, a New York Times reporter proposed

33:48 an inclusion check for diversity called the Duivere test.

33:52 It's a way to measure whether a film

33:54 has characters of importance portrayed by actors of color.

33:58 How does that make you feel to have a test named after you?

34:02 It's it's incredible.

34:03 One of a writer that I really love, Manola Dargas, uh at the New York Times,

34:08 decided that she was going to name this test after me.

34:10 an honor, but you you really hope that that people will take

34:13 these kinds of things under consideration when you're in the writer room,

34:16 when you're writing a script, when you're directing, look around and say, "Wow,

34:19 be nice to have some people of color in this scene." You know what I mean?

34:22 Or or behind the camera.

34:23 What?

34:24 You know what?

34:25 You have to have more of it.

34:27 Absolutely.

34:27 So great.

34:28 Now, Ava, we're not letting you go just yet.

34:29 Okay.

34:30 When we come back, we're talking about her new

34:32 film and we're going to have a little fun.

34:33 Don't go anywhere cuz you're watching The Real with Ava.

34:46 Hands out today.

34:47 We miss you, girl.

34:48 But we're back with the one, the only Ava Duivere.

34:52 Yes.

34:53 Yes.

34:54 Let's get into this.

34:56 Disney.

34:56 My mother told me to tell you.

34:59 If you see Lonnie, tell her she is LOOKING GOOD.

35:01 LIKE, YES,

35:02 SHE SENT ME A TEST.

35:04 MOM, I TOLD HER.

35:06 Thank you.

35:06 You know, and you know what?

35:08 You are looking good in this movie.

35:09 Okay.

35:10 Because Disney actually approached you to direct A Wrinkle in Time.

35:14 What does it mean to be on their radar?

35:16 Well, it's a big deal.

35:17 You know, 90% of the movies that you watch at the movie

35:20 theater over the last 10 years have been directed by men.

35:23 90%.

35:24 Only 10% of the films that you see have a woman as a director.

35:27 And that and the director makes every decision.

35:30 What people wear, how they act, where they sit, how the camera moves.

35:33 So, you want different people making those decisions behind the camera.

35:35 Disney's the biggest studio in the world.

35:37 So, for them to uh uh pull me in is really beautiful.

35:41 You know, for those that don't know about the movie, tell us what it's about.

35:45 The movie Wrinkle in Time is about love.

35:48 It's about love.

35:48 It's a film for children.

35:51 And for anyone that still is a kid at heart,

35:54 um it's about a girl, Mag Murray, in our in our film.

35:56 She's a brown girl, uh girl of color, and she has to travel through the universe

36:01 to find her father and bring him home.

36:03 But by doing that, she finds what she needs inside to bring him back.

36:08 And that's love and that's light.

36:09 And we really need to tell our kids right now, we need to share with our kids

36:12 in these dark and divisive times that they are enough.

36:15 That the light inside of them is enough to pierce through the darkness.

36:18 That's right.

36:19 Yeah.

36:20 Beautiful message.

36:21 So, is that how you relate to the main character, Meg?

36:24 Yeah, I do.

36:24 I I definitely relate to her.

36:25 She is a little girl with glasses who

36:29 never thought she was enough to do anything extraordinary, and I relate to that.

36:33 But I am here to tell her she's wrong.

36:35 She can do extraordinary things.

36:37 I did.

36:37 She can in the movie.

36:40 We have to feed the fan.

36:41 So, let's check out a clip from Zoom.

36:43 What can I do for you, Mrs.

36:46 What's it?

36:47 I caught her stealing sheets, guys.

36:50 She's harmless.

36:51 You're six.

36:52 Come on.

36:53 What do you know about harmless?

36:55 Have I ever been wrong?

36:57 Well, one of these days you might be Charles Wallace.

36:59 Oh, I highly doubt that.

37:00 He's one of the greatest minds in recent history.

37:03 He's prodigious.

37:05 But of course, we can't take any credit for our talents.

37:08 It's how we use them that counts.

37:11 See that?

37:12 See that?

37:12 You see that?

37:15 Swoop in.

37:16 That's a swoop in.

37:18 That is officially called a swoop in.

37:19 Lonnie.

37:20 Yes.

37:21 In cinematic terms, it is called a swoop in.

37:23 Yes.

37:24 My swoop in Witherspoon.

37:27 Who is Mrs.

37:27 What's it?

37:28 Reese Witherspoon.

37:29 Yes.

37:29 And the cast is incredible because you have Mindy Kalin who's my favorite.

37:32 You have Oprah, of course, who is as Mrs.

37:35 Witch.

37:35 She's the wisest person in the universe.

37:37 So, was that a conscious or a subconscious decision?

37:39 Cuz we know you have a relationship with Oprah.

37:41 So, yeah.

37:41 No, she's like a big sister to me, one of my dearest friends.

37:45 And uh when you have a part to be

37:48 play be playing the wisest woman in the whole universe,

37:51 you're lucky you have her on your speed dial.

37:55 Exactly.

37:55 Only makes sense.

37:56 She really is.

37:57 Oh, I love it.

37:58 It wasn't a stretch.

37:59 I love it.

38:00 Now, before we let you go, we actually thought we'd play a little game with you.

38:03 Have some fun.

38:03 Okay, this is a game that we call Celeb 60 seconds.

38:06 Okay, let's do it.

38:11 Let's do it.

38:11 All right, we're going to get to know more about you.

38:13 We're going to put 60 seconds on the clock and ask you

38:15 as many random questions as we can until the time runs out.

38:17 Is that cool?

38:19 Okay.

38:20 It's fine.

38:21 Okay, we're going to put 60 seconds on the clock.

38:22 Lonnie has the first question and as soon as she's done, the time will start.

38:25 Lonnie, take it away.

38:27 First favorite drink after a long day of work.

38:30 Hot chocolate.

38:31 Okay.

38:31 What's the last thing you and Oprah talked about?

38:33 Franklin time.

38:34 Okay.

38:35 If you could trade lives with one person for one day, who would it be?

38:40 Oprah.

38:40 Guilty pleasure.

38:41 Guilty pleasure.

38:42 Oh.

38:43 Uh, the the the FILM DIRTY DANCING.

38:45 OH, GOOD ONE.

38:46 WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

38:49 People who yawn out loud.

38:51 So rude.

38:52 Don't do that.

38:53 Don't do that.

38:54 Worst piece of advice you've ever received?

38:57 Um, to be competitive with other women.

39:00 Yeah.

39:00 Yeah.

39:00 Yeah.

39:01 Yeah.

39:01 What's your biggest vice?

39:02 My biggest vice?

39:04 Oh gosh.

39:05 Uh, I don't get enough sleep.

39:07 Okay.

39:09 Yeah.

39:08 What do you like to splurge on?

39:10 Gosh, I really I'm very frugal.

39:12 Um, HomeGoods.

39:15 Girl, if you had to pick who If you had to pick,

39:18 who was the biggest diva on a Wrinkle in Time set?

39:21 The little boy.

39:22 Charles Wallace.

39:22 THAT LITTLE BOY.

39:24 TAKE THAT.

39:25 DIVA.

39:27 DIVA.

39:28 OKAY.

39:28 You don't get a lot of sleep, but how many hours do you get on average?

39:34 Answer.

39:34 How many hours?

39:36 About five.

39:36 Five hours.

39:38 We loved having you here today.

39:39 Thank you so much for coming.

39:41 Appreciate it.

39:42 Everyone, go see her new film, A Wrinkle in Time, which is in theaters now.

39:47 AMC is partnering with the organization Color

39:50 of Change for the initiative Give a Child

39:52 the Universe to donate tickets for underprivileged

39:55 children and teens to see the movie.

39:57 To donate to this cause, head over tothereal.com.

40:00 We'll be right back after this quick wrinkle in time.

40:03 You're watching The Real.

40:04 I love it.

40:14 Welcome back.

40:15 We had so much fun today.

40:17 My gosh, Tam, we missed you, girl, but you're going to be back tomorrow.

40:20 Melb, thank you so much for filling in.

40:22 Thank you, girl.

40:24 Taught me a lot today.

40:26 And a big THANK YOU TO OUR GIRL AVA DUB for being here today with us.

40:30 She is so lovely.

40:31 And thank you at home for watching AND OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE FOR BEING HERE.

40:36 OFF YOUR ENERGY.

40:36 WE'LL SEE YOU RIGHT BACK HERE NEXT TIME ON THE RIO.

40:44 W another time again right now.

40:56 Right now.

40:57 Right now.