Final days full of life - Hospice stories | DW Documentary

0:09 I enjoy each day now, take things as they come,

0:12 and appreciate every special moment.

0:22 You never know how much time you have, and you should use it well.

0:31 Are you feeling better now?

0:33 Is the air okay?

0:34 It was all the excitement, wasn’t it, it was a bit much.

0:38 Dying is important, but it's a taboo subject.

0:41 Dying's become anonymous, and honestly, we can do better than that.

0:49 For Paul Buchholz, the hospice at the South City Hospital in Rostock,

0:54 is the best workplace in the world.

0:56 Good morning!

1:00 Paul, who hails from the region, has been a nurse here for 15 years.

1:05 Did you sleep well?

1:06 Yes

1:07 Super.

1:07 Shall we open the curtains?

1:08 I think it's worth it today.

1:12 Ralf Löwenhagen moved in here four weeks ago.

1:18 Let's get you at eye-level, so we can look deep into each other's eyes!

1:22 The 62-year-old has pancreatic cancer.

1:25 You old rascal!

1:29 Somehow the day has to start.

1:31 Yes, with a bit of humour and fun.

1:34 And the highlight is the sun.

1:37 Of course.

1:38 Shall we start with the teeth first, so the mouth is fresh

1:42 when your mouth's fresh, everything else follows.

1:49 Okay, I have the toothbrush kit.

1:54 Then let's see how you manage.

1:56 Well, you can do a bit yourself.

1:59 Do it with you, then after you, then better!

2:02 Do it yourself!

2:04 With me, it’s do it yourself!

2:06 I'll pass the baton...

2:10 and then you clean those choppers.

2:16 The motto is to live your life till the end.

2:19 As much as possible.

2:22 Tears are part of it.

2:24 And laughter’s central of course.

2:26 But the needs of the residents are always our priority.

2:32 Okay, we can go to the disco now.

2:34 Not so fast.

2:35 I think we still have to shave, right?

2:39 Yeh, here.

2:45 The morning program is like running a marathon.

2:49 And you're under time pressure too.

2:52 When I'm here, I have time.

2:56 I'm there for you.

2:57 And I won't run away.

3:00 You can't, I've pinned you down!

3:09 Okay, hands on my shoulders.

3:12 One, two, and three.

3:16 Push from the knees, yes.

3:18 great, and a little dance, slowly, we still need a bit more.

3:26 A little more.

3:31 The wheelchair is behind you.

3:33 And now you can sit.

3:38 Even at 11 AM, no one gets woken up.

3:41 The residents set their own daily rhythm.

3:45 Good morning.

3:47 Would you like lunch, or breakfast instead?

3:53 Breakfast.

3:54 So both, one after another.

3:59 The hospice is directly connected to the hospital.

4:02 A doctor is on call round the clock.

4:05 Jan Patrick Roesner is an anesthetist and medical director.

4:09 He shares the shifts with two colleagues on a 4-week cycle.

4:18 Hello, everyone!

4:19 Hi, nice to see you.

4:21 So what do we have?

4:27 Mrs. Polchow was at the eye clinic today,

4:31 and she fainted and collapsed.

4:37 Doctors’ visits, a stroll through town,

4:38 a visit to a café;

4:39 the staff here do what they can to

4:42 maintain the residents’ quality of life,

4:44 till the very end.

4:45 Are you feeling better now?

4:48 Is the air okay?

4:50 It was all the excitement, wasn’t it, it was a bit much.

4:53 But the good news is everything is fine with your eyes;

4:56 we can check that off.

4:57 Would you like to sleep a bit longer?

4:59 Yes, looks like it.

5:01 Here, I can fill in what's missing in a standard clinical practice.

5:07 You’ve more time, or rather you have to take the time,

5:11 and you can achieve a lot with simple things.

5:13 Often that’s a conversation.

5:15 Sometimes the dying person can't let go

5:18 because there's an unresolved conflict,

5:20 which can only be settled by bringing together the two people

5:23 who at some point had a falling-out.

5:25 Dying is important.

5:27 But it's a taboo subject that no one wants to look at these days.

5:31 We don't learn about it anymore.

5:33 In the past, in the extended families,

5:35 the great grandchild would sit at the bedside when Greatgrandma died.

5:40 We don't have that anymore.

5:41 Dying has become anonymous and, honestly,

5:44 we can do better than that.

5:51 Well, do you have your tissues?

5:54 Right, I'll just tidy up the hair there at the back.

5:57 Yes, now I'm getting dolled up.

6:00 Yes, ready to go out.

6:03 Right, sorted.

6:06 It's just a joy to see Ms. Kühl smiling and walking with me to lunch.

6:12 Yes, we're going to lunch now.

6:14 We’re starving!

6:15 Yes, now we're hungry.

6:20 The hospice has 27 employees.

6:23 And 10 residents.

6:25 Hello!

6:29 Here come the late risers.

6:31 Look who’s talking!

6:39 You can't help being happy with this staff.

6:43 It brings tears to my eyes.

6:49 The employees are all so helpful.

6:53 This kind of care really lifts your spirits.

6:57 A bit closer, or is that okay?

7:04 90 kilometers north lies Bernstorf Castle Hospice.

7:12 A crew has been filming in and around the castle for three weeks.

7:16 The title of their movie:

7:17 I'm dying.

7:18 Are you coming?

7:21 They had to fight long and hard to make this film.

7:24 Death is not exactly a big draw at the box office.

7:28 The film tells the story of a seriously ill young mother

7:32 who lives in a hospice and is fighting

7:34 with her ex for a little more time

7:35 with her son.

7:37 For Mecklenburg director Benjamin Kramme,

7:40 it’s a project close to his heart.

7:45 My background is in acting.

7:48 From early on I was doing social work alongside acting,

7:51 and at some point I thought I’d like to work in a hospice.

7:54 I didn't exactly know why,

7:56 but realized something was pulling me in that direction.

8:00 I probably just wanted to deal with the subject of dying myself,

8:03 and that's what I did.

8:05 I worked at the Schwerin hospice on the Aubach

8:08 as a nursing assistant for a while,

8:09 and that's where I got the material for this,

8:11 because I kept a diary,

8:13 so most of the characters that appear in it and the situations

8:16 are actually things that I experienced myself

8:18 or that were inspired by them.

8:24 Bernstorf Castle is a family-run hospice.

8:29 Its founder, Wolfgang Röhr wanted to create a dignified place to die.

8:34 His first wife died of cancer in 2006 at the age of 48.

8:40 He was left with four small children.

8:42 So when the film crew approached him about the project,

8:45 he immediately agreed.

8:49 I thought it was a great idea from the start.

8:52 It's an important step in raising awareness of the issue

8:55 and perhaps helping people overcome

8:57 their fear of their final days.

8:59 So we were really happy to support it.

9:06 At the moment, there are 16 guests

9:08 as the residents here are called

9:10 at the Bernstorf Castle hospice.

9:13 Many residents follow the filming from a distance

9:16 and some have even taken on small roles.

9:18 Like Carola Kumpe.

9:21 The hospice has been her home for two years.

9:24 The 48-year-old from Schwerin suffers from two rare autoimmune diseases.

9:29 The film crew is a welcome distraction.

9:36 A nurse wheeled me into the hall and there were cameras on all sides.

9:42 It was very interesting to see how much

9:44 work goes into shooting just one scene.

9:51 So much work, so much precision, over and over again,

9:54 in different locations.

9:56 It was so interesting.

10:02 Every spare minute she has,

10:03 she sits in her favorite spot and writes down her life story.

10:08 As a legacy for her adult son.

10:10 She feels prepared for death.

10:17 To maintain a certain quality of life, I’d recommend accepting it.

10:21 But still, even if you have accepted it and feel good about yourself,

10:26 there are of course days when you say:

10:28 Why did this happen to me?

10:34 That's just how it is.

10:36 You struggle and simply want it over and done with.

10:45 But that's changed for me.

10:47 I enjoy each day now, take things as they come,

10:50 and appreciate every special moment.

11:00 The hospice at the South City Hospital in Rostock opened in 1998.

11:06 Ninety-five per cent of the costs are covered by health insurance companies.

11:11 The remaining 5 per cent is financed by donations.

11:15 Many residents leave a memento here.

11:20 The lady is in bed.

11:24 Nurse Paul Buchholz is showing Birgit Witt the ropes.

11:28 She’s one of nearly 50 volunteers.

11:31 Her husband had cancer and spent his last days here.

11:36 Is Mr. Löwenhagen still on his afternoon nap?

11:39 He didn't want to go to bed after lunch,

11:42 so he's sitting in the armchair in the living room.

11:44 He was talking about playing Ludo this morning,

11:47 I think he'd be up for that.

11:49 Yes, let's do that.

11:51 All employees have additional training in end-of-life care.

11:56 It's work with a calling.

11:57 By the age of 12, Paul already knew this was what he wanted to do.

12:06 When my grandparents were getting older

12:08 and I saw how they were taken care of,

12:10 I realized pretty early on, as a young person,

12:13 that I wanted to do something in that area,

12:15 and when the time came, that was the field I chose.

12:25 I'm getting impatient.

12:27 Zack!

12:28 Back!

12:31 Birgit is a retired teacher.

12:33 She volunteers here once a week.

12:35 Playing games, going for walks, reading aloud.

12:39 Despite her own experience with loss,

12:41 she maintains a positive outlook on life.

12:44 I've actually been very lucky in my life,

12:48 and now I'm just giving something back.

12:52 At the moment, death is still a way off for Ralf Löwenhagen.

12:57 I try to distract myself.

12:59 It is what it is.

13:01 You can't change it.

13:07 And the next morning, you're sitting at the table,

13:10 and everything's fine again.

13:12 Then you supress it too.

13:20 Paul has just come from room 10.

13:23 The resident has died.

13:25 He lights a candle in the lounge.

13:27 That way, everyone knows.

13:30 Every death affects him deeply.

13:33 But there are moments when it is particularly hard.

13:41 We also have very young residents; at just 19 years of age

13:45 they get diagnosed with these illnesses,

13:47 and you just think that's not right at all,

13:49 and when you take on the care of someone so young, it affects you.

13:54 I always find that...

13:56 When you have the parents sitting at the bedside,

14:00 siblings or even their own children, it's just terrible.

14:11 Ralf Löwenhagen has visitors

14:13 his brother Frank and his wife.

14:15 No one takes you seriously when you make a joke.

14:20 There are no fixed visiting hours here.

14:22 Anyone can come and stay as long as they want.

14:25 We tried it at home for six to nine months.

14:30 But it wasn't working anymore.

14:32 The chemo made things worse.

14:34 We stopped that in February.

14:36 He was still at home with us until April.

14:39 But we're not able to care for him the way they do here at the hospice.

14:44 And he has 24-hour care here too.

14:46 And he likes it here, you hear that from him.

14:51 The worst thing for Ralf was the pain.

15:00 When he first came, he was a bit anxious,

15:03 so I said we’d try something to ease the pain,

15:05 and after that he was alright.

15:10 We’re really pleased with how he’s settled in.

15:12 He’s always saying that this is home.

15:15 He likes to visit Langsdorf,

15:16 but then he wants to come back home again.

15:20 A lot of people who’ve never been to a hospice

15:22 before arrive here with certain fears.

15:25 They’re thinking,

15:26 this is a place to die, so I’ll lie down in bed and my life is over.

15:30 But that's not what it is.

15:32 I'm often asked:

15:34 How long do I have to stay here?

15:35 And I tell them, Nobody has to stay here, but you can stay here.

15:39 And I've seen it all.

15:41 Anything's possible, from half an hour to over a year.

15:46 And once someone was even discharged,

15:49 because they suddenly seemed to recover.

15:56 At the Bernstorf castle hospice, the film crew moved up to the attic,

16:01 which has yet to be renovated,

16:03 but which will eventually be converted for hospice guests.

16:07 After filming, Benjamin Kramme begins the editing process.

16:11 Then, on to international film festivals.

16:15 And a theatre and television release.

16:22 The film's main role is played by Benjamin's wife.

16:30 It's special because we wrote it together.

16:34 That's why I thought I could deal with it pretty well.

16:39 But I'm realizing now it's quite intense.

16:45 It would be intense even if it weren't my wife,

16:47 but it's even more intense because of that.

16:49 Definitely.

16:54 Filming in the hospice has had a humbling affect on the director.

17:03 You never know how much time you have,

17:06 so you should use it well and carefully.

17:08 Sometimes there’s also a feeling of:

17:10 maybe you can let go a little,

17:12 because as a human being you tend to want to control things,

17:16 to have security.

17:17 But then you get the feeling that maybe those aren't the things

17:21 that count in the end, maybe they're not so important.

17:24 Perhaps, in general, you should have a more relaxed approach to life.

17:30 That's what you try, but you don't always succeed.

17:41 Back at the hospice in Rostock, the schedule changes every day:

17:45 there's occupational and physical therapy, hairdressing, and pedicures

17:50 whatever the residents feel up to.

17:52 But two sweaters are fine.

17:54 When you're moving around, it's warm.

17:57 Ralf is heading outside for some garden therapy.

18:00 Paul knows what his guests want:

18:02 some like peace and quiet, others, a variety.

18:08 Nice front yard here.

18:09 Yes, it was specially designed like that.

18:13 The boss is already there.

18:16 Designed by the garden therapist.

18:19 Hello, Mr. Löwenhagen.

18:20 I’m ready for work!

18:22 Then let's get started.

18:23 Thomas Hentschel comes to the hospice once a week.

18:26 We can lower the knees.

18:29 That fits quite well height-wise.

18:32 It's good for work.

18:33 Can I take your feet down, so now your knees fit underneath.

18:39 Yes, Mr. Löwenhagen,

18:40 I thought we could plant a flower pot today.

18:43 You know a lot about that.

18:44 You used to be something of a gardener.

18:50 I worked more with animals, but we had a garden at home.

18:54 We've already done plenty together.

18:56 I know you can do it.

18:58 Very nice.

19:00 Then we have to see how they're doing here.

19:03 Do you want to take them out?

19:13 I'm happy to see Mr. Löwenhagen out in a wheelchair today.

19:17 Otherwise I'd have worked with him on the terrace by his bed.

19:20 That works too.

19:21 You swing the bedside table over.

19:23 Then you put the work tub on it, and if they can sit up a little,

19:26 you can also do garden therapy in bed.

19:28 The garden comes to the patient, not the other way around.

19:33 We'll check back later to see if they've grown.

19:36 It’s looking good.

19:38 Very nice.

19:41 We'll put them on the terrace outside your room,

19:44 and then you can check on them and water them if they get too dry.

19:51 Right, let's go.

19:53 We’re lucky with the weather.

19:56 Oh yes, last Tuesday the weather was awful…

20:02 Everyone will be jealous!

20:04 And you can say you made it yourself.

20:13 At Bernstorf Castle,

20:14 doctors and therapists from Grevesmühlen

20:17 or Wismar come when needed.

20:19 Today the 'Wish-mobile' is coming.

20:23 Carola Kumpe has already taken it twice to the Baltic Sea,

20:26 which is the most popular destination.

20:29 Today it's Hans-Bernd Scholz and his wife Monika's turn.

20:34 Hello, my name is Sandra, and it’s your day today,

20:36 so I’ll be accompanying you.

20:39 Volunteers Uwe and Sandra help fulfill

20:42 the last wishes of the seriously ill.

20:45 There he is

20:48 We’re off on our adventure!

20:50 They’ve wished for a trip to Hamburg to visit Hagenbeck Zoo.

20:58 I'm not excited, but I'm happy.

21:04 Hans-Bernd Scholz has terminal cancer.

21:07 His wife Monika also needs care due to a stroke.

21:11 They’ve been living in the hospice for 8 weeks.

21:16 Since I haven’t been to the zoo in

21:18 ages, I thought Hagenbeck would be nice.

21:20 The last time was maybe 30 years ago, so I wanted to go there.

21:29 And he loves penguins.

21:31 The Wishmobile team is prepared for any emergency.

21:36 Uwe Hain is a retired firefighter.

21:38 Sandra Schmidt is a medical-technical assistant at the hospital.

21:42 Today is her day off.

21:44 The wishes come in many forms:

21:47 They are all different.

21:49 That sounds like a diplomatic answer.

21:52 But no, each one has a special appeal.

21:58 Some just want to go home again,

22:00 others want to go to a musical or the

22:02 stadium to see their favorite team play.

22:08 What do they weigh, 2 tons?

22:16 There were 127 Wishmobile tours last year.

22:20 That's a record, made possible by donations.

22:24 And, of course, trips include meals.

22:30 We plan around our guests of course.

22:32 Sometimes it’s eating out at a restaurant,

22:35 sometimes we take a picnic basket with us.

22:38 It all depends on what they want and how we’re spending the day.

22:41 It’s standard procedure.

22:44 Yes, there they are!

22:48 The penguins.

22:49 The 68-year-old's favorite.

22:58 They just look so funny, even just their walk!

23:13 For Uwe Hain, there are always very special moments on these trips.

23:19 Today, it was when our guest suddenly stood up

23:23 and leaned over forgetting everything else;

23:26 the penguins were all that mattered and he was simply happy.

23:30 That’s the highlight.

23:36 Giving up is not an option; that’s always been my life-motto.

23:43 Do what you want to do.

23:44 That's why—if I don't have too long to live now, that's okay with me.

24:03 The hospice at the South City Hospital

24:05 in Rostock has also registered

24:07 a trip with the Wishmobile.

24:09 To Rostock Zoo.

24:10 What you planted, that fancy thing.

24:15 …For Ralf Löwenhagen

24:17 health permitting.

24:19 A third of the trips are canceled at the last minute.

24:25 I’ll hold you here, and you push up with you legs on 3.

24:29 1, 2.

24:32 And up.

24:35 Very good.

24:36 Yes, it's difficult when your legs have been resting for a long time.

24:43 I'm trying to get back into exercising a little.

24:46 That’s with the physical therapist who’s coming tomorrow.

24:50 Yes.

24:51 Landed.

24:51 Perfect!

24:54 What does Paul wish for Ralph Löwenhagen?

24:56 That he has more wonderful days ahead with us,

24:59 that he can enjoy them and look forward to waking up every day.

25:11 And for himself?

25:13 That I can continue doing this for many years to come.

25:17 That society becomes more aware of this work,

25:21 and there's someone to advocate for it.

25:24 Dying is part of life.

25:26 We should keep in mind that every human life ends at some point.

25:32 We need room for that and consideration,

25:34 so that dying people can be accompanied

25:37 on their journey with dignity.