Kyla Pratt Shares Wisdom on Motherhood, Mental Health & Boundaries While Getting Glam

0:00 You asked, I answered.

0:01 So, watch how I went from this to this as we

0:04 get some tea getting ready for the 57th annual NAACP awards.

0:08 Phones on DN D.

0:11 No advice for a new mom.

0:13 That is um very difficult because um at this time in your life,

0:18 everything has completely changed.

0:20 Um even you as a person and everybody's different.

0:24 um we're going to constantly feel some type of guilt,

0:27 some type of loss of who we were.

0:30 And um I I don't know what to really tell you to do,

0:33 but take deep breaths and count your blessings and understand

0:38 that um nothing is supposed to stay the same.

0:41 I just know it's a difficult uh transition

0:43 because you're changing and you think that, you know,

0:45 you've lost something when actually you've gained so much.

0:49 And um just try to adjust your perspective and take deep breaths and remember

0:54 to take care of you because there's so many people that remember that like,

0:58 oh, I have to take care of this baby now.

0:59 I have this new schedule.

1:01 But if you don't take care of you, you can't take care of someone else.

1:05 And um some people, you know, grieve what they no longer had.

1:10 But if you were still in that position, you wouldn't have what you have now.

1:14 So, you have to count your blessings and take deep breaths and take

1:18 it one day at a time because every day is a different emotion.

1:23 Every day you're going to feel different and they're temporary.

1:26 Those emotions are temporary.

1:27 So, just breathe.

1:29 Oh, that's a difficult one because I have felt that way in so many ways.

1:35 Um, I've been in this industry since I was a kid.

1:39 And a lot of times people put you in a certain

1:42 bubble that they only want you to be in.

1:46 And um, I don't know.

1:49 I just feel like you're growing and you're

1:51 allowed to evolve and you're allowed to change.

1:54 And sometimes with me even people are like, "Why are you playing this character?

1:58 You're going to make me not like you." And I'm like,

2:00 "It's a character." as a performer, as an actress, I am allowed to, you know,

2:07 play all kinds of roles and be all kinds of people.

2:10 And just because I started off one way doesn't mean I

2:13 have to stay that way in order to make someone else happy.

2:16 So, um, for any other um, profession as well,

2:21 you don't have to stay the same to make other people feel good.

2:24 There's no reason to shrink yourself

2:25 to make yourself tolerable for other people.

2:28 So, um, do what you want to do.

2:30 this is your life and people are always going to have

2:33 their opinions and opinions are like what Everybody's got one.

2:40 That's really hard.

2:41 Um because I know that there's people

2:43 who've done stuff where I'll be like, "Uh-uh.

2:45 Remember when?" And I go, "No, no, no, no, no, no.

2:48 Uh you're a human being and um a lot

2:51 of people aren't going to be able to let things go.

2:52 They're not going to want you to grow.

2:54 Um, but you can still grow and, you know,

2:57 allow yourself to forgive yourself first mistake that you made,

3:02 but then also show remorse and, you know,

3:04 allow the people around you to have their moment.

3:07 But if they keep hanging on to it,

3:08 be like, "All right, look, uh, it's been a minute.

3:11 I'm going to need you to let that go." Uh, but yeah,

3:14 sometimes people don't want you to get out of that because they like

3:17 to see you where you are because if you did something really bad,

3:20 they're like, "No, you're a bad person.

3:21 Stay down here." Blah, blah, blah.

3:23 But you can evolve above that and and if they can't let it go,

3:26 then just let them go and start blocky blocking

3:30 and uh allow yourself to I don't know get better.

3:34 You can always there's always a way to go up.

3:36 You are always going to get in your own head.

3:39 You are a human being.

3:40 We all have imposture syndrome.

3:44 We all feel like we're doing a lot and we're not doing enough.

3:48 And as long as you're able to knock yourself out of it,

3:51 allow yourself to have that moment.

3:53 But then remind yourself of who you are and all the work that you've been doing.

3:56 Like keep going.

4:00 Every single person on this planet,

4:01 no matter how together they look, feels how you feel right now.

4:05 And success is determined based off of who's able to overcome that feeling.

4:10 So just breathe and stop allowing the outside

4:15 world to make you feel like you're not it.

4:18 Oh, see this is a really hard question because I don't it's

4:24 hard because I don't really know if I have advice for her.

4:26 I just know like I feel like the advice will be for the other person.

4:30 It's like you have to know who you can vent to and how

4:35 much you can vent to them cuz people only have so much.

4:38 Like me as a friend, I'm the person you can vent to.

4:41 You can I can put myself in other people's shoes.

4:43 But then after a while I'm like now I want to fight this man.

4:47 and you cool with him,

4:48 but I have to maintain that I'm cool because that's still your me.

4:52 I don't know that that's a really hard question to answer.

4:56 Um, but if she's your friend,

4:59 you kind of have to like I feel like you have to bite the bullet and just let

5:03 her, but then at some point you're a human and it's

5:06 like I can say be like just let her know, but I don't let people know.

5:11 I just let them keep doing it because I want to be a friend.

5:14 I want them to have someone to vent to because

5:16 I don't want them to be to feel alone.

5:19 So that's hard.

5:22 I'm trying to figure out like a solid definite what you should do.

5:27 But that's difficult.

5:28 That's difficult.

5:29 Um cuz I know after a while it's like ma'am uh we all got bills out here.

5:33 We got stuff to do.

5:34 I can't sit on the phone and talk about this man again.

5:36 You said the same thing yesterday.

5:38 Um but I think No, no, no.

5:39 Let me think about it because I think I have told someone before like,

5:41 "All right, so are you going to keep complaining about it?" Like,

5:45 are you going to if you're just going to keep complaining about it,

5:49 then you're allowing it.

5:50 So, why are you complaining?

5:51 Like, just let it be if if you're okay with that.

5:54 And if you're not okay with that, then you need to go talk

5:56 to your man about what he's doing or how you feel because if not,

6:00 you're just going to be sitting in this space of unsuress.

6:04 And we got things to do.

6:05 Like, we have life to live out here.

6:07 And you can't stay in a relationship where you're constantly venting

6:11 to your friend like he's supposed to be a friend as well.

6:15 So eventually you're going to have to take this to him.

6:18 And so I think as a friend you try to listen as much as possible.

6:21 But then you kind of got to lay down the law of well maybe this isn't the right

6:25 thing for you or right relationship if you're

6:28 not able to talk to him about this stuff.

6:30 But if you going to keep complaining about it that means you cool with it.

6:32 You you like it.

6:33 So why are we talking why we why you calling me every day?

6:37 I don't know.

6:38 No, that's Yeah,

6:39 cuz if you I mean if you you decide what you can deal with and you decide what

6:43 you can handle and a friend is not going

6:46 to be able to tell you what you can handle.

6:48 You have to figure that out.

6:49 Anyone who told you your 20s was going to be

6:52 the best years of your life was lying to you.

6:56 Uh or maybe that was their experience and they feel like that's

7:00 all they got and they're in a certain position blah blah blah.

7:04 I truly feel like life gets better as you age.

7:09 I think you start to care less what other people think.

7:13 I think you really truly learn yourself um in your 20s.

7:18 I think you start to understand your childhood and different

7:22 things that different effects that it had on you.

7:25 Um and I think you're going to evolve every single year.

7:28 In your 20s, you are figuring it out, baby.

7:31 In your 30s, you figuring it out.

7:33 Like don't let anybody make you feel like this is it.

7:38 There's still there's always a way to go up.

7:41 20s is like if people sit back and be like,

7:44 "Oh, could you go back to your 20s?" Nah, I'm straight.

7:47 My my favorite thing about my 20s was I had my kids.

7:51 And for me, the stuff that I learned in my 30s,

7:55 it it just it helped me become the woman that I am today.

7:59 And I I just I really truly believe that life gets better if you allow it.

8:05 And if you believe that 20's was it, 20s is going to be it.

8:10 And there's so much more life to that.

8:12 So don't limit yourself by thinking because it hasn't happened yet

8:17 or because I'm struggling or because I haven't figured it out,

8:21 life is just going to be gh because that is so not true.

8:25 like you can decide.

8:27 You can have a whole career in your 20s and then when you

8:29 turn 30 you're like nah I think I want to do something else.

8:32 You are allowed to change.

8:33 You are allowed to evolve.

8:34 You're allowed to grow.

8:35 You're allowed to make mistakes and you're allowed to learn.

8:38 Just try not to repeat the same mistakes and allow

8:40 yourself to live a better life with every single year.

8:45 It gets better if you believe it will get better.

8:48 If you don't believe it, you going to stay where you at.

8:51 I think the fact that you said you're accepting breadcrumbs

8:54 means that you know you need to deal with somebody else.

8:58 People are only going to do what you allow them to do.

9:00 So, um you you deserve more.

9:03 No matter who you are, you deserve what you um dream of having.

9:08 And it's better to have that conversation with someone

9:12 and see if they're willing to give that.

9:14 And if they're not, then it's time to move

9:16 forward because there are billions of people out here.

9:20 Um, and there's always possibilities of meeting someone

9:24 who's going to meet you where you are.

9:26 Um, but you're not going to be able to find that person if you're

9:28 settling for someone who's not willing to give

9:30 you the things that you would like.

9:32 So, um, I think even with you saying you're accepting breadcrumbs,

9:36 you know, you know it's time to move forward.

9:39 You can't be afraid to be alone.

9:41 Um, and you have to be your own best friend and build yourself up.

9:47 And when you're able to do that is when

9:49 you'll recognize that you deserve everything that you hope for.

9:53 So spend time with you, day dates with you, take yourself somewhere,

9:59 treat yourself the way that you would want someone else to treat you.

10:02 Um, and show by example because people going to half

10:06 ass do stuff if you let them half ass.

10:08 I personally feel like aging is a beautiful thing

10:11 if you allow it to be a beautiful thing.

10:14 We also have to recognize when we have been um

10:17 taught specific habits that might not align with aging gracefully.

10:22 Um basically the foods that we eat um the water

10:25 that we drink um the things that we consume.

10:29 Um everything around us is affecting our hormones,

10:31 our mental health and um sometimes you just have to you have to make a shift.

10:37 You have to make an adjustment.

10:38 You can't eat the things that you were eating when you were 20.

10:40 Your body does not can't handle that the same way anymore.

10:44 Um, and you have to find what works best for you.

10:47 Um, me personally, I know that if I'm not

10:50 working out or if I don't do my morning stretch,

10:52 my body does not feel at its best and I want to feel good.

10:56 So, you just have to incorporate um things in your life

11:01 that are going to help you age a certain type of way.

11:04 you need to eat more whole foods and make sure you're hydrating.

11:07 Make sure you're moisturizing and bathing properly cuz I keep

11:11 seeing on on TV on Instagram people have conversations about bathing.

11:16 Uh which confuses me every single time.

11:19 But um you just have to make sure that you're making certain adjustments.

11:22 Things that worked with you um work for you

11:25 in the past are not going to work for you now.

11:27 So, do your research and um take care of you so you can look and feel,

11:33 you know, like a 50-year-old should.

11:35 I don't believe 50 is old at all.

11:38 I don't believe 60 is old.

11:39 Um I feel like age is a um a mental thing in in some spaces as you get older,

11:47 not when you're younger.

11:48 Um but yeah, take take care of yourself.

11:51 Um, I love me some I used to love me some chili cheese hot dogs.

11:56 But um uh no baby, we we have to make changes.

12:00 We gotta we got to evolve.

12:02 So just you'll be good.

12:03 Just try not to do too much plucking if you got chin hairs coming in already.

12:08 Um but things in things around us are disrupting our hormones

12:13 and you just got to figure out what works best for you.

12:17 Tell them people kiss your ass and keep it moving.

12:19 Unfortunately, everybody's going to judge you no matter what you do.

12:22 So, you have to understand that everybody's

12:24 always going to have something to say.

12:25 And if you are proud of what you're

12:28 doing and you are happy with what you're doing,

12:30 tell them people to kiss your ass and keep it moving.

12:32 Like, I it's somebody's always going

12:34 to have something to say about your parenting,

12:36 about your relationship, about what you're doing career-wise.

12:40 um if you sleep a certain way in the bed,

12:42 if you eat some like somebody people don't know how to shut

12:45 up and most of the time everybody who has something to say,

12:48 they don't have their stuff situated.

12:50 So just you can either let them know,

12:52 focus on you or you just have to know that people are going to talk

12:56 and as long as you're secure with what you have going on, which is hard,

13:00 especially being a parent,

13:01 you're always going to question whether you're doing the right thing.

13:03 Um, but then you also have to look at them

13:05 and look at their kids and look at their situation

13:07 and understand that everything is different and as long

13:10 as you're doing the best you can with what you got, like that's your business.

13:15 I truly believe, like I said before, um,

13:18 people are only going to do what you allow them to do.

13:22 And setting limits is not being selfish.

13:25 It's taking care of you.

13:29 If you don't set boundaries, people are going to take and take and take.

13:35 Mental health is so important.

13:38 And a lot of people are not able

13:40 to understand what you're feeling cuz they might

13:43 see you as the strong one or the one that's always able to be there for others.

13:48 But you know that you're a human and you know that you

13:51 need rest and you know that it's okay to say no.

13:54 Like I really have no problem with saying no.

13:58 I I I I can't like sometimes I might feel bad in certain situations,

14:03 but I have to put me first.

14:06 You have to take care of you in order to be able to take care of other people.

14:10 And if you're constantly giving, giving, giving,

14:13 you're going to you're going to miss out on things that you need for yourself.

14:17 And that's not selfish.

14:19 What is that?

14:20 What do they say?

14:20 It's selfless.

14:21 Like you need to you have to make sure you're good.

14:24 Like I tell people all the time like I have been blessed

14:27 and given this life that God has provided me and I want

14:32 to live it to the best of my ability and I want

14:34 to help those along the way but not in place of me suffering.

14:39 I I shouldn't have to do anything I don't want to do.

14:44 And um yeah that I feel like that goes for family.

14:48 I feel like it goes for career.

14:50 um you got to set boundaries otherwise people will take advantage

14:54 and now I I do things and I help but it's only

14:57 if I want to do it um I don't want to feel

15:01 obligated to do anything and that's just it just is what it

15:07 is and if somebody doesn't like it that's their problem not mine

15:10 like you got scissors to the eye one second oh I feel

15:17 like the first thing that comes to mind when I think

15:19 of a self-care care practice that actually works for me is deep breathing.

15:22 Like taking breaths and realizing that we're not breathing half the time.

15:29 We're holding our breath,

15:30 waiting for the next thing to happen or or bracing ourselves

15:34 for something crazy to go on or just moving to the next thing.

15:37 And I feel like stopping and taking a moment

15:40 and breathing in my nose and out my mouth.

15:43 And um I I haven't done a lot of breath work practices.

15:48 Um, my brother like really is is teaching me that.

15:52 But I really feel like taking a pause to breathe.

15:59 Um, and also recognizing that, you know,

16:02 in our generation and maybe those before us or maybe those afterwards,

16:05 but I can speak for the one that I'm in, um,

16:09 we've had we've grown up on such a, um, our nervous systems are just chaotic.

16:17 And so I I keep seeing the things online that are like,

16:21 why am I rushing to wash hair?

16:23 Why am I rushing to do this?

16:24 Why am I rushing to do that?

16:26 Like stop and breathe and just allow, you know.

16:33 So taking deep breaths very much so.

16:37 I mean, there's a lot of them and stretching

16:39 and yoga and all the stuff that's combined,

16:41 but I I think it all starts with your breathing.

16:44 Um I don't I don't know.

16:46 I feel like that's a really hard question.

16:48 You know, there's a lot of um powerful women.

16:52 Women are just powerful uh period.

16:55 And being a girl boss and trying to navigate um career and um deciding,

17:01 you know, motherhood and family and and trying

17:04 to figure out how to balance it all.

17:05 I just think, you know, I I feel like today my whole thing has been

17:09 like taking deep breaths and really allowing yourself to um

17:14 try new things and allow yourself to make mistakes

17:17 and understand that you're going to be pulled in both directions.

17:21 And that's okay.

17:22 You know, some days you're going to have, you know,

17:25 a a bigger capacity for your family than you

17:28 are for the career things or you're going to feel

17:30 like you need to focus on career so you can

17:32 take care of your family better in a different way.

17:34 Um, it's going to always be a struggle,

17:37 but I've always said that I've always wanted it all

17:39 and I believe that we can and we are capable.

17:43 It's just a lot of hard work and I'm always tired,

17:46 but I have to feel fulfilled in in in both spaces.

17:50 I need to make sure that, you know,

17:52 mommy is doing everything that she wants to do and that she wants to accomplish,

17:56 but also I don't want to miss out on specific moments um

18:00 that my kids are having having or that my family is having.

18:04 Um your kids grow up really really fast

18:06 and there's certain moments that you'll never get back.

18:10 Um but also giving yourself grace and understanding that, you know,

18:14 hopefully you have a village and you have help.

18:16 Um, but just staying sane.

18:20 It's you have to find some way to stay sane in this world.

18:24 And whether that's meditation or how you eat or working out or reading books,

18:31 staying sane so you can possibly do both.

18:34 That's the most important thing.

18:36 So, if you feel like anything is driving you crazy, and I mean anything, anyone,

18:42 then it's time to step back and focus on you

18:44 and making sure you feel good before you can accomplish anything.

18:48 Okay, I love that little therapy session,

18:50 but it's time for me to get the rest of this together.

18:52 So, I will see y'all on the carpet.

18:54 Bye.