Iconic Women of Sitcoms | Paramount+

0:05 [laughter] Babe.

0:09 Hey.

0:14 Wow.

0:15 That's a nice pen over here.

0:16 Oh, yeah.

0:17 Yeah.

0:17 Real nice.

0:18 I like it.

0:18 Well, good.

0:19 You can keep it.

0:22 Cool.

0:22 [laughter]

0:33 [snorts]

0:33 Hey babe, why don't you come over here and read the sports section?

0:37 Sounds good.

0:38 Just uh going to grab a snack first.

0:41 Just get a snack going.

0:54 [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [laughter]

1:31 Doug.

1:33 Yeah.

1:32 Don't forget to rub some peanut butter on your wrists.

1:36 [laughter]

1:40 And with that, Tanya learned the magic words.

1:43 She could do anything she wanted as long as it was followed by Drew hit me.

1:48 Ma, what's going on in here?

1:50 I'm trying to take Drew's sock and he hit me.

1:52 Boy, you better give her your sock.

1:59 Mom,

1:58 what is going on in here?

2:00 I was trying to take Drew's breakfast and he hit me.

2:02 Boy, you better give her your breakfast.

2:06 Mom,

2:06 what is going on in here?

2:08 I'm trying to break Drew's arm and he hit me.

2:10 Boy, you better let her break your arm.

2:16 Sam, do yourself a favor.

2:17 Go back to your tootsies and your rat parts.

2:20 I'd hate to see the bowling alleys close on my account.

2:23 [laughter]

2:23 Hey, hey, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.

2:25 Are you saying that uh I'm too dumb to date smart women?

2:30 I'm saying that it would be very difficult for you.

2:32 A really intelligent woman would see your line of BS a mile away.

2:37 You think so, huh?

2:38 Uh-huh.

2:39 Uh-huh.

2:40 Yeah.

2:40 Well, uh, you know, I've never met an intelligent woman that I'd want to date.

2:45 On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say,

2:53 how'd you like to go for double or nothing sport?

2:56 On what?

2:57 Well, you look like a betting man.

3:00 I'll wag you.

3:02 I can sink these five balls with a single shot.

3:06 If I do, these boys are square.

3:07 If I miss, you double your money.

3:10 Hey, I don't mind taking your money,

3:13 but I was kind of looking forward to pulping this guy.

3:15 Yeah, well, we won't quibble.

3:17 If I miss, you can poke him.

3:20 Tell you what, I'm feeling generous tonight.

3:23 I'll throw in the little one as well.

3:25 What you mean by that?

3:26 Throw in the little one.

3:26 And what in God's name is pulping?

3:30 You're on.

3:33 Okay, but just to make sure this is on the up and up, let's use six balls.

3:38 Instead of sinking all five with one shot, how about sinking all six?

3:44 Do that and I'll uh forget the 200 bucks.

3:50 Fair enough.

3:58 Need a bit of chalk for me.

4:09 Does it matter in what order I make?

4:14 Dying.

4:14 Hey lady, if you make any of them, it'll be a miracle, [laughter] right?

4:20 Well, here goes nothing.

4:59 [screaming] Run far east.

5:07 [laughter] All right, that's enough.

5:10 I can't take this anymore.

5:12 But but Deborah, Raymond is sick.

5:15 Well, that's right.

5:16 Raymond's sick.

5:16 Raymond is very sick.

5:17 And do you know why?

5:18 Because you made him sick.

5:20 You're both sick.

5:22 [laughter]

5:24 I am giving Raymond what he needs.

5:26 You're giving Raymond what you need.

5:28 A sick little boy to take care of.

5:30 Well, I don't need another little boy.

5:32 And every time you come over here,

5:34 Raymond takes another step backwards and I got to weed him all over again.

5:39 [laughter] Well, I'm busy.

5:45 And I don't appreciate the implication that I am

5:47 not a good wife and mother and not nurturing.

5:50 I'm a damn fine nurturer.

5:53 Now get out of bed [laughter] and you take your soup

5:58 and your flowers and your probably homebaked bread and get out of our bedroom.

6:03 Hey, listen to this everybody.

6:06 Apparently, the ice show Eddie skated in had an accidental death policy,

6:11 and I'm Eddie's beneficiary,

6:14 which is to say that Carla Loapony Tortelli Lebec is now worth a cool $50,000.

6:25 What?

6:24 It means I'm rich.

6:25 I'm telling you, I'm rich.

6:27 I'm rich.

6:27 I'm rich.

6:29 I'm rich.

6:31 I'm rich.

6:32 I'm rich.

6:33 I'm rich.

6:34 I'm rich.

6:35 Oh my god, I'm rich.

6:38 [laughter] I can't believe this.

6:40 Look at you.

6:41 Can you imagine what you can buy with $25,000?

6:44 25?

6:44 I said 50.

6:46 I'm rich.

6:46 Come here, you big love.

6:48 I'm rich.

6:55 [laughter]

7:03 Okay.

7:03 Um, I have a question.

7:04 Um, what am I doing here exactly?

7:07 Duh.

7:08 You're waiting for the gas man.

7:11 Hello.

7:12 Well, actually, you both are waiting for the gas man.

7:14 And and this is starting to feel and I don't want to say creepy and weird, but

7:19 No, actually, that's the best way to describe it.

7:21 So, I'm just going to go.

7:22 Well, if she's going to go, then I'm going back to work.

7:24 Well, if you go to work, then I'm going to bed.

7:26 Well, if you go to bed, there'll be no one here to wait for the gas man.

7:29 Okay.

7:30 Well, you're paying me.

7:31 So, if you both go, I'll just stay.

7:33 Well, if you're going to stay, then I'm not going back to work.

7:36 Well, if you stay, then I'm not going to bed.

7:41 Okay, [laughter] there you go.

7:47 That's my home number and my email.

7:51 Great.

7:51 Uh, you know what?

7:54 I'm I'm off right now.

7:55 Do you want to go get something to eat?

7:57 Yeah, I I'd love that.

7:58 [laughter] Bye, guys.

8:00 Enjoy your gas.

8:04 Because if y'all say that you've never seen that bra before,

8:08 I'm going to kill your father.

8:11 Yeah.

8:11 And then I'm going to go to jail and then you guys

8:14 are going to be split up and sent to live in foster care.

8:17 Sounds like a bet movie of the week.

8:19 So, does everybody understand?

8:25 Okay.

8:24 Okay.

8:24 The question is, did anybody sitting at this table

8:29 put that bra in your father's sock drawer?

8:33 No, wasn't me.

8:38 We have a winner.

8:40 Okay, boys.

8:40 You can go to bed.

8:43 Gladly.

8:45 Julius, you can leave, too.

8:50 Lucky.

8:55 Okay, Tanya, talk to me.

8:59 Well, I saw these boys paying attention to girls who wear bras,

9:02 so I stole Tasha's because I wanted some of that attention, too.

9:09 Baby Tanya, that's not the kind of attention that you want.

9:13 You want boys to look at what's in your heart, not what's in your bra.

9:17 In my sister's case, they were both empty.

9:20 Tanya, you're moving too fast.

9:23 I mean, you're not ready for this.

9:25 What did you do?

9:26 Stick tissue in it?

9:27 [snorts]

9:31 Yeah.

9:31 Okay.

9:31 Well, Tanya, you having a bra is like you

9:36 buying a a saddle before you get the horse.

9:39 You know, boys will pay attention to you, but they're not really looking at you.

9:44 They're admiring your saddle.

9:47 And and and when you do get the horse,

9:50 then everything is different because then you need the saddle.

9:58 Wait, are we talking about bras or saddles?

10:03 Saddles.

10:07 Oh.

10:08 Uh hey.

10:09 Uh where's the pool table?

10:11 Wrong room.

10:11 [laughter] Hey, could you pass the salt?

10:21 What did you say?

10:24 [laughter] I want to put some salt on this.

10:28 In 47 years of marriage, you've never salted my lasagna.

10:32 Marie, it's bad enough.

10:33 It needs it.

10:36 [laughter]

10:36 You got to remind me how long we've been married.

10:41 That doesn't need salt.

10:44 What's this about, Frank?

10:46 You mad at me?

10:47 No, I just want the salt.

10:49 Below me.

10:50 It's because I yelled at you last night for blowing your nose into your sock.

10:53 [laughter] No, all I'm saying is this is not doing it for me.

11:00 [laughter] Oh, well then by all means have the salt.

11:06 Thank you.

11:11 [laughter] [applause and cheering] You know, this is so insulting.

11:18 You think Bulldog wants me to come work for him

11:21 because he wants to get me into his bed.

11:22 Doesn't even occur to you that he thinks I'm a good producer.

11:25 Ross, don't you think you're being just a tad naive?

11:28 I'll tell you what naive is.

11:29 Naive is someone who thinks he can stand there and talk

11:31 to me like that without getting a crutch up his butt.

11:35 Ros, I can see how he's manipulating you.

11:37 I'm an expert in human behavior.

11:38 Oh, really?

11:39 Excuse me.

11:40 I've heard your expert advice.

11:42 The only mental disorder you've ever cured is insomnia.

11:46 [laughter] Well, I'm surprised you had time to listen.

11:51 What would being so busy with your ultra demanding producer tasks,

11:54 answering phones, and pushing buttons?

11:56 My god, a cockatu with a strong beak could do what you do.

11:59 [laughter] Then hire one because I'm taking the job with Bulldog.

12:06 That's it.

12:07 I am out of here.

12:14 [laughter] Take a picture cuz I'm out of your life.

12:21 You have seen the last of me.

12:24 [laughter] Sayanara.

12:29 Oh, damn my purse.

12:33 [music] Heat.

12:39 Hey, Heat.

12:42 [music]