Trump Makes "Naughty or Nice" List to Punish NATO Allies, Members of Congress Resign Amid Misconduct

0:01 -Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show." You're here.

0:03 This is it.

0:04 This is the show, yeah.

0:05 Cheers and applause] Well, guys, according to reports,

0:09 the Trump administration is close to a $500

0:12 million bailout to save Spirit Airlines.

0:15 Yeah, the CEO of Spirit was, like, "With $500 million,

0:18 our planes could have two wings again."[ Laughter] Amazing!

0:23 Applause] Yeah, without the bailout,

0:25 Spirit Airlines was a few days away from becoming Spirit Halloween.

0:29 Laughter] If the bailout happens, the government will own 90% of Spirit.

0:35 -Oh.

0:35 -Yeah.

0:36 You'll know Trump owns Spirit Airlines when

0:38 you could pay more for extra cankle room.

0:41 Laughter] You'll know Trump owns Spirit Airlines when they

0:46 have a list of everyone who flew on the plane, but won't release it.

0:50 Laughter][ Cheers and applause][ Drumroll] No,

0:56 I just— There's one more, there's one more.

0:59 You're gonna like this one.

1:00 You'll know Trump owns Spirit Airlines when it lands

1:02 in the Middle East and doesn't have an exit strategy.

1:04 There you have it.

1:05 That's what you do.

1:07 That's how you do it.

1:08 That's how you do it!

1:09 Come on.

1:09 That's how you do it.

1:10 Just for fun.

1:11 Come on.

1:11 That's how you do it.

1:14 Well, get this.

1:15 I saw that Trump's approval rating just hit a new low of 32%.

1:20 Trump was like, "Is it because" and everyone was like, yes.

1:23 Laughter] All of that.

1:25 Yeah.

1:26 Yep, Trump's numbers are so down, he just asked Spirit Airlines for a bailout.

1:31 Laughter] Meanwhile, I read that Trump has made a naughty and nice list of NATO

1:36 allies he wants to punish who refused to support the Iran war.

1:41 Yep, it'll backfire when Trump tells France,

1:43 "You're naughty" and they're like, "Oh yes, we are naughty.

1:46 Oh, oh punish us, yeah."[ Laughter] Yeah, this weekend, by the way,

1:54 is Melania Trump's birthday and the president is excited to celebrate.

1:57 But I thought this message he released was a bit odd.

1:59 Take a look at this.

2:00 -This Saturday is my wife Melania's birthday.

2:03 But since I have no gift ideas,

2:05 just like the Iran ceasefire, I'm officially extending the deadline!

2:09 And that's not all!

2:11 I'm also extending the deadline for Mother's Day a month.

2:14 Also, I'm moving my birthday and Father's Day up to tomorrow, so buy me a gift!

2:19 No combos!

2:20 They call me President Jock Jams because when it comes to deadlines...

2:23 I like to move it, move it♪ Okay, solved it.

2:27 Bye!

2:28 Cheers and applause] -What?!

2:30 -Move it!

2:32 -Wow.

2:33 -Wow.

2:34 -Well, guys, in the past two weeks,

2:36 three members of Congress have resigned for misconduct.

2:39 -Ooh!

2:39 -It's got lawmakers talking about what they'd

2:42 do if they suddenly didn't have their jobs.

2:44 For instance, first Congressman David Schweikert said—[

2:50 Laughter] Then Congressman Jeff Van Drew said—[

2:55 Laughter] Then Congressman Mike Rogers said—[ Laughter]

3:04 Then Congressman Chuck Edwards said—[ Laughter] Next,

3:10 Congresswoman Harriet Hageman said— And Congresswoman

3:18 Rosa DeLauro said—[ Laughter] Next,

3:27 Congressman Pete Sessions said— And Congressman

3:35 John Carter said—[ Laughter] Next,

3:39 Congresswoman Sherry Biggs said—[ Laughter] Then

3:46 Congresswoman Ann Wagner said—[ Laughter] Next,

3:50 Congressman Hal Rogers said— And Congressman Lloyd Doggett said— Next,

3:59 Congressman Scott DesJarlais said—[ Laughter]

4:06 Then Congressman Keith Self said—[ Laughter]

4:10 This is what they would do if they didn't have a job.

4:13 Laughter] -That's all they would do.

4:15 Play stick, play hoop— -He would put on sunglasses— -Right.

4:18 -And trick people into thinking he's Pitbull.

4:20 -That's his retirement plan.

4:21 -That's what his retirement— -And the other guy's as well.

4:24 -If he didn't have a job.

4:25 -Yeah.

4:25 -Yeah.

4:25 Next, Congressman Michael Guest said—[ Laughter] Then Congressman Bill

4:35 Keating said—[ Laughter] And Congressman Pat Harrigan said— Then

4:46 Congressman Michael Rowley said—[ Laughter] And Congressman Trent Kelly

4:51 said—[ Laughter] And Congressman Chuck Fleischmann said—[ Laughter] And finally,

5:02 Congressman Jim Barrett said— They have interesting plans.

5:06 They all have— interesting—[ Cheers and applause] It's interesting.

5:11 -Good to know, yeah.

5:12 -Yeah, you have to have plans.

5:15 Applause] Well, some business news.

5:16 Apple announced that after 15 years,

5:18 Tim Cook is stepping down as CEO and will be replaced by John Ternus.

5:23 It was easy to shut Cook down.

5:25 They just pressed on both sides of his head at the same time.

5:28 Laughter] Yep, Cook will be replaced as CEO by John Ternus,

5:34 and annoyingly, Ternus has a completely different charger.

5:38 Laughter][ Applause] -Come on.

5:41 -You gotta be kid— You gotta be kidding me.

5:44 You don't have the— -You guys see this?

5:47 To celebrate the new Star Wars movie, "The Mandalorian and Grogu," Burger King

5:50 is unveiling a special limited time menu.

5:52 Check it out.

5:54 -If you're excited about "The Mandalorian

5:55 and Grogu," then you'll want to blast off to Burger King for their special Star

6:00 Wars menu featuring Grogu's Blue Cookie Shake,

6:03 the BBQ Bounty Whopper, and the Imperial Cheddar Ranch Tots.

6:07 May the yum be with you at Burger King.

6:11 -Yeah.

6:11 That's nice.

6:13 Yeah, it's cool.

6:14 Uh, well, not to be outdone, Subway just announced their own special menu.

6:19 -Oh!

6:19 -Watch this.

6:20 -Stop on into Subway, our tuna is and always has been made from 100% real Ewok.

6:26 Subway.

6:26 Fresh eat, you must will.

6:28 What the (bleep) does that mean?

6:31 Cheers and applause] -My!

6:35 -And finally, a hot air balloon carrying 13 people

6:39 made an emergency landing in a California couple's backyard.

6:43 The people were like, "Help!

6:44 We're having a whimsical emergency!" We have a great show.

6:47 Give it up for the Roots, everybody!

6:49 Where I'm-a start it at, look I'm a part

6:51 of that♪♪ Downtown Philly and it's realer than a heart attack♪♪

6:54 It wasn't really that ill until the start of that♪♪ Now

6:58 it's somebody♪♪ I like to move it, move it♪ -Hey!

7:02 I like to move it, move it♪♪ I like to move it, move it♪♪ Mm-mm-mm-mm♪ -Move it!

7:09 What a show we have for you tonight.

7:11 She's an Academy Award winner who's starring in the new

7:14 movie "Apex," which begins streaming on Netflix this Friday.

7:17 Charlize Theron is here tonight!

7:20 Cheers and applause] He stars in the popular CBS

7:25 series "Boston Blue," which airs Fridays at 10 p.m.

7:28 Donnie Wahlberg is joining us.

7:31 Cheers and applause] He's an Oscar winning filmmaker who has a new

7:36 documentary out about the creator of "Saturday Night Live," Lorne Michaels.

7:40 It's called "Lorne," and it's in theaters now.

7:42 Morgan Neville is here this evening.

7:45 Cheers and applause] And we have grrrr-eat music from Ashley McBryde!

7:51 Cheers and applause] We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show," everybody!

7:56 Come on back!