Armchair Anonymous: Bar Stories | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

0:00 Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

0:02 I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Buck Rogers.

0:07 Hello.

0:06 Today we have crazy bar stories.

0:09 Bars are very fertile ground.

0:11 nothing Well, I shouldn't say nothing good happens.

0:14 find their soulmates at bars.

0:16 Meet cutes.

0:17 Yes, but alas, that's not these types of stories.

0:20 You know, we have every version of depravity happening.

0:23 So, please enjoy crazy bar stories.

0:48 You guys see me?

0:48 Oh, we can see you, we can hear you.

0:51 What is this sound dampening you've put up?

0:53 Are those trifold mattresses?

0:54 What are those?

0:55 No, it's a nugget.

0:57 I don't know if you guys know what those are.

0:58 It's for kids.

0:58 You can basically make little shapes for them to climb on.

1:02 Each one is about 18 inches thick.

1:04 Oh, they're big cubes kind of.

1:06 That's fine.

1:07 Oh, wow.

1:07 And where are you, Justin?

1:09 I'm in Central Wisconsin right now.

1:11 When did you move there?

1:12 I moved here about 3 years ago, I'd say.

1:14 From where?

1:15 Minneapolis, where those story takes place.

1:17 Oh, okay.

1:18 So, you have a bar story.

1:20 Please walk us through it.

1:22 All right, so let's set the stage.

1:23 This is back in December of 2018.

1:25 I was working downtown Minneapolis as uh head security and it was

1:29 head security for about 6 months at the time at a bar.

1:32 At that time, it was more of like a college place

1:34 where kids would come from the U of M and go party.

1:36 So, it was pretty busy.

1:37 I broke up a lot of fights, literally almost daily.

1:39 One time I had to go to the hospital due to another injury.

1:42 Can I ask really quick, two questions.

1:44 How common is it to have to have a head of security?

1:47 Is that just cuz it was a college town, do you think?

1:49 Or is that common in Minneapolis?

1:51 It's pretty common.

1:51 Oh, okay.

1:52 And then second, how do you qualify for the job?

1:55 Like what's the interview like?

1:56 How are they determining whether or not you can handle your business?

1:58 They've seen me before.

1:59 I broken up quite a lot of fights.

2:01 Okay, great.

2:01 Great.

2:02 So, one night at about 2:30 in the morning after the bars close,

2:06 me and one of my security guards,

2:07 we take one of the barricades and we're going to go around the building

2:10 to put it into the garage where we put all the barricades and then heat lamps.

2:13 When we go around the corner, I see two men punching one woman.

2:18 Oh my good Oh boy.

2:20 Oh boy.

2:20 I hesitated for a second because I remember my boss constantly told us,

2:24 "Do not break up fights that are outside cuz liability issues.

2:27 Only do it inside." But, I'm not going to let two men beat up a woman.

2:30 So, I dropped the barricade and I ran over

2:32 there and tried to pull off one of the guys.

2:34 He tried to punch me, but I was sober and he definitely was not.

2:38 So, I kind of just stepped back.

2:40 He missed.

2:40 I kicked him in the stomach and I punched him in the face and I pushed him over.

2:43 My other security guard went over there and held him there for a minute.

2:45 And then I turned to the other guy.

2:47 He has a handful of her shirt, just holding it.

2:50 And he's about to punch and he kind of looks my way and he sees me.

2:53 And he starts going towards me to punch.

2:56 And I saw that coming, so I put my head down and he hit right on the top.

3:00 So, I don't know if you know that would hurt him a lot.

3:03 Yeah, his hand's broken for sure.

3:05 Definitely, yeah.

3:06 After that, he kind of let go of her.

3:08 I punched him two more times.

3:09 I used my left hand and hit him in the temple

3:11 and then I hit him right below the nose.

3:12 I also heard something crack.

3:14 Oh, okay.

3:15 He goes down and he has blood everywhere.

3:18 He's looking at me and I see that he's missing a tooth.

3:20 So, that was the crack.

3:21 Oh.

3:21 So, I turn to the girl and I say,

3:23 "We should go." And I'll never forget the way she looked at me.

3:27 She turns to me and she has two swollen eyes.

3:30 She's looking at me and she goes,

3:31 "I want to stay here with my boyfriend." That makes me so sad.

3:37 Yeah.

3:37 I didn't quite know what to say to that.

3:40 I felt really bad, but then I look over and I see my boss.

3:43 He's outside the door and he's like, "Get back in here, Justin,

3:45 right now." I just told her I was going to go call the police,

3:47 so I ran there and I get my phone.

3:49 I I 911, I talked to them and they said they're going to come our way.

3:53 When I got off the phone, I looked out there and all three of them were gone.

3:57 So, I had, you know, I had quite an adrenaline rush,

3:58 so I couldn't really feel my body at the time.

4:01 So, one of my coworkers said, "Hey,

4:03 you're dripping blood off your hand." I looked down

4:05 and I have about a half-inch cut on my knuckle.

4:07 And I'm like, "Oh, great." So, I go find the first aid kit, which is empty.

4:13 And so, I just like, "Okay,

4:14 I'm just going to put some cold water on this." Another coworker said,

4:16 "You should probably go to the hospital

4:17 because getting saliva or something like that Yeah, you could go rancid.

4:22 You could get that cat disease.

4:23 So, I I end up going to HCMC, which is the Hennepin County Medical Center.

4:27 I got there, it was pretty busy.

4:28 After about, let's say, an hour or so, I got to see a doctor.

4:31 They washed it out for me a little bit,

4:33 and then they gave me two different antibiotics cuz I'm allergic to amoxicillin.

4:36 Then they nearly sent me home, but they drew a a circle on my hand.

4:40 And they said, "If it gets past this, you need

4:41 to come back." I go home and go to sleep,

4:45 and when I wake up at about 11:00 in the morning,

4:47 I can feel my hand is throbbing.

4:50 It feels like I could feel my heart beat in it.

4:52 It was pretty bad, so I look at it,

4:54 and the circle was down low, but the infection was higher.

5:00 Ah, it had gone up past your wrist?

5:02 Yeah, only about 8 hours after all that happened.

5:04 Oh.

5:04 Oh my god, what was he carrying?

5:06 Rabies?

5:07 I wish he was drinking more alcohol.

5:08 Might have disinfected Yeah, yeah.

5:10 I decided to go back to the hospital, and when I walked into the door,

5:13 to the left was the emergency room, to the right was urgent care.

5:17 So, I was like, "I'm going to go to urgent care cuz the emergency

5:20 room is packed right now." I walked in there and I talked to a nurse,

5:23 and she's getting you all my information,

5:25 and I told her I was there earlier today, technically.

5:27 She looks at my hand, and she goes, "Oh." And she drops everything,

5:30 and she brings me into the emergency room,

5:32 and then I get to the top of the list.

5:34 So, I go in right away.

5:36 When I see a doctor, he looks at it,

5:37 and he goes, "Okay, you're probably going to need surgery." What?

5:41 Woah.

5:41 So, they got me hooked up on IV antibiotics, and a little bit later,

5:46 I had a surgeon come in and talk to me.

5:49 And he looks at it and goes, "Okay,

5:50 so this is what we're going to do and you know, we're going to put you under.

5:52 You're probably going to stay here for a night or two." About an hour later,

5:55 they bring me down to get surgery.

5:57 I think the surgery is about an hour and a half.

5:59 When I woke up, the surgeon was there and he was talking to me.

6:02 He was, "You're very lucky that you came in when you did because you could have

6:05 had a finger or your hand amputated

6:08 from how bad it was infected." I sent pictures

6:11 So we they went in there and they actually had to like cut out the infection.

6:14 I thought you were about to tell me they extracted the tooth from your hand.

6:17 OH.

6:18 OH GOSH.

6:19 I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GO THE TOOTH LODGED IN HIS OH,

6:22 that would have been horrible.

6:23 He probably swallowed it.

6:26 Wait, yeah, so they cut out all of it.

6:29 on Yeah, let's go.

6:29 They kind of cut it.

6:30 It looks like an S sort of.

6:31 Oh yeah, it looks real gross.

6:33 Like it's going to pop with infection.

6:35 Ew.

6:35 So the first one, then you have right after that the circle on my hand.

6:39 And then the other two were after the surgery.

6:41 Oh wow.

6:44 Did they tell you do they like send tissue samples

6:47 away and then tell you what the infect I mean,

6:49 I guess it doesn't matter, but I'm so curious Yeah, what was it?

6:52 I'm not sure.

6:52 I didn't even ask that.

6:53 It was very painful.

6:54 As you can see in one of the pictures,

6:56 it looks like they kind of forgot some of the gauze and they kept it in there,

6:58 but that was kind of like a wick to get rid of Oh, keep sucking up.

7:03 Yeah.

7:02 Oh yeah, it's hanging.

7:03 Look, Monica.

7:04 It's hanging out of the

7:06 saw.

7:05 Yeah, you don't like this.

7:06 I don't need to keep looking.

7:08 The most painful part was when they removed that.

7:10 I thought it was just going to be like, you know, half an inch.

7:12 There was probably an inch and a half Oh.

7:15 or something and he pulled it out quick.

7:16 He goes, "This is GOING TO HURT." HE PULLED IT.

7:19 AND DID YOU EXAMINE it when it came out?

7:20 I would really want to see what was happening on the

7:22 Oh yeah, it was very bloody.

7:26 Yeah.

7:26 I called my boss after that and I told him,

7:28 you know, I'm probably going to be out for a few days.

7:30 He asked me if it was going to be workers' comp.

7:31 I said, "Oh yeah, that'll be workers' comp."

7:34 So he he was pretty upset about that.

7:36 So I returned to work about a week later.

7:38 I was told to do a safety briefing for all the security guards.

7:42 This is how you break up a fight and this is where you break up a fight.

7:46 Not outside.

7:47 What were you going to do?

7:48 Not as your job, like as just a person.

7:51 Yeah, they were actually going to fire me, but a few of my co-workers,

7:54 female ones, said that they were going to quit if they did that.

7:58 Okay, now this willingness and appetite to get involved in chaos,

8:02 I want to know how much the red hair plays into it.

8:05 I don't know if you've ever heard my theories on redheads.

8:08 We have a temper.

8:10 I have a few rules you don't fight.

8:11 You don't fight a guy at a stoplight who,

8:13 when he gets out, he casually takes his shirt off.

8:15 Like not to show off, but just he's ruined so many shirts that he's learned.

8:19 Just move on, get back in your car.

8:21 In general, a married guy at the bar, just don't mess with.

8:24 He's been holding a lot in.

8:26 And then I don't care what size the redhead is, just keep it moving.

8:29 I've seen a lot of little little redheads in junior

8:32 high and high school get the best of somebody.

8:35 My friends, they'd say I ginger stomped.

8:39 I also have martial arts experience.

8:41 I got my black belt in karate and some stuff in the military, too, so.

8:44 The entire thing from when I saw them to him

8:46 going down covering his mouth was about 10 seconds.

8:50 Short short very fast.

8:52 I wonder what was in his mouth.

8:54 He had been eating someone that had flesh-eating bacteria.

8:58 Oh, he's a cannibal.

9:00 Oh, I I took down a zombie.

9:02 How much longer did you have that job?

9:05 Probably for another five or six months.

9:07 The month before that happened,

9:10 I also had to go into the hospital due to a slight fracture in my elbow.

9:14 There was a guy that was trying to harass some of the waiters

9:17 and waitresses and stuff like that and I tried to escort him out.

9:20 He tried to punch me,

9:20 so I put him in a rear naked choke and right then I kind of he

9:24 fell forward and his weight and my weight landed on the tip of my elbow.

9:29 You'd think I would have learned.

9:30 Well, again, I don't know what you're supposed to do when you walk up on that.

9:34 No, you got it.

9:34 It's It's to get down.

9:35 Of course I'm having a lot of envy listening to this.

9:37 That is a job I would have loved to have had.

9:39 I know you are.

9:40 I loved it.

9:41 Yeah, yeah.

9:42 Aaron ran a bar for 10 years and he didn't have security.

9:44 He was the security and the owner and the bartender.

9:47 Yeah, and he got to see a lot of action.

9:48 I was always very jealous.

9:49 Well, Justin, I'm glad that there are people wired

9:52 like you and I that would intervene in a situation

9:54 like that and then of course I'm heartbroken

9:55 by the girl who wants to stay with the guy.

9:57 It's So upsetting.

9:58 But also, you know, there's a lot of stats around that.

10:01 Like she would have been killed probably if she did not say that or do that.

10:07 Like it's a really horrible situation.

10:09 I don't have any answers, but it's yeah.

10:11 Yeah.

10:12 Can I do a shout-out?

10:13 Of course.

10:14 My significant other, Sarah.

10:15 She was supposed to be here to watch her son

10:17 while I was doing this, but I got the times wrong.

10:20 I forgot it was Pacific time or Central time.

10:22 She's the one that told me to submit it.

10:24 She's the one that got me to start listening years ago and I

10:27 think Monica would really like her because

10:29 you guys have a very similar personality, but she's also a physical therapist.

10:33 Oh, I love her.

10:34 I just added her to my PT collection.

10:37 PT club.

10:38 The two other people who'd be our friends, Amber and Ethan.

10:40 They're the ones that got us to start listening to your podcast.

10:43 Oh, thank you, Amber and Ethan.

10:45 Yeah.

10:46 Yes, we appreciate all of it.

10:47 Keep converting people, Amber and Ethan.

10:49 I have a lot of people who are going to start listening cuz I was like,

10:51 "I want to be on there." Oh, fine.

10:54 Well, it's great meeting you, Justin.

10:56 It's good meeting you, too.

10:57 Yeah, congrats on your family.

10:58 I'm happy for you.

10:59 Thank you.

11:00 All right.

11:00 Take care.

11:02 Bye.

11:02 Are you so happy we have such a tough listener?

11:05 Yeah, but also so sweet.

11:06 Could you hear his sweetness?

11:07 That's what I love.

11:08 I doubt he's starting a lot of fights,

11:09 but he's he's finishing them when they need finishing.

11:13 Hello.

11:14 Hi.

11:14 Is this Casey?

11:15 Yes, Casey.

11:16 Nice to meet you.

11:17 Casey, where are you?

11:18 Dax, I know you like to guess, so maybe you want to take a guess from my accent.

11:22 Here's what's going to happen.

11:23 I already know what I'm down to.

11:25 It's just down to two.

11:26 Yes, I know you do.

11:27 if I get it wrong, both parties would be very offended.

11:29 But I'm going New Zealand on this one.

11:31 Um, IN SOUTH AFRICA.

11:33 OH!

11:35 TRIPLE WRONG.

11:36 Who's offended now?

11:37 I don't know.

11:39 Everyone.

11:38 It's pretty close.

11:39 It gets mistaken now and then anyways.

11:41 What city are you in down there?

11:43 Johannesburg.

11:44 Ooh.

11:44 Okay, what's the vibe in Johannesburg?

11:46 I've never been.

11:46 Joburg's got the friendliest people I would say.

11:49 Have you been to Cape Town?

11:50 No, I've only been to Tanzania and Kenya and Uganda.

11:54 Cape Town's beautiful as well, but Johannesburg is way friendlier.

11:58 Okay, and so you've got a bar story.

12:00 Yeah, so let me set the scene.

12:02 I was in my early 20s, like 19, 20, thereabouts.

12:07 What's the drinking age down there?

12:08 18.

12:09 By the time we're 21, we're veterans.

12:12 I'd moved up to Johannesburg probably like

12:14 a year before that from my hometown in George, very small coastal town.

12:19 So, small city to big city, getting used to the vibe in Johannesburg.

12:23 By this time, I've got a nice group of friends

12:25 and we're starting to go out and meet people and whatnot.

12:28 The story starts off at a braai.

12:30 It's basically a barbecue.

12:32 I love starting something off with a barbecue, though.

12:34 That's great.

12:36 I went there with my cousin and I ended up meeting this couple there.

12:40 Thought nothing of it and a couple of weeks later or a couple of months later,

12:43 I don't exactly the time, I saw that the girl from this couple ended up

12:47 being single and I decided to slide into the DMs.

12:50 Okay, lovely.

12:52 After some time, we ended up dating.

12:53 So, that's kind of like the precursor to the story.

12:56 So, after a few months of dating, we decided to go out one night.

13:00 We went to Hooters.

13:02 So, we also have Hooters here.

13:03 I'm very happy to hear that you have Hooters.

13:05 Hooters is very international.

13:07 Best fried chicken sandwich, I maintain that.

13:10 I enjoy their wings.

13:11 Anyway, so leading up to this, the ex of hers was messaging

13:16 me now and then on social media and not being very nice,

13:20 let's say threatening me, but I thought nothing of it,

13:22 blocked him, carried on with my life.

13:24 We ended up at this bar and as I walk

13:27 in, I turn a corner and I walk straight into this guy.

13:31 Like physically bump into him.

13:32 And I kind of taken aback and I move to the side

13:35 and carry on walking to my table and we sit down,

13:38 you know, think nothing of it.

13:40 I forgot to mention this dude is super big compared to me.

13:43 When you bumped into each other, were there any words?

13:45 Bumped in, no words, parted ways.

13:46 So, thought nothing of it, right?

13:48 So, anyway, sit down at our table and we're having a good night,

13:52 having a couple of beers, ordering food.

13:54 And I see this guy starts moving closer

13:57 to us and sits at a table adjacent from us.

14:00 Oh, boy.

14:01 And he's like staring me down the entire time.

14:04 Is your girlfriend with you?

14:05 Yeah.

14:05 My girlfriend's with me.

14:07 I've got a lifelong friend with me as well.

14:09 And then another guy friend of mine that's a pilot that was visiting.

14:13 He flies for Doctors Without Borders in Afghanistan.

14:16 But he's a British guy.

14:17 So, it's the four of us sitting at the table minding our own business.

14:21 And every time I glance over to him,

14:23 he's mouthing off, making as if he's swearing at me.

14:26 I can't tell what he's saying, but you know, you can see he's saying not good.

14:46 So, we notice this as a group and we decide maybe we need to get out of here.

14:50 It's starting to get a little sketchy.

14:52 So, as we stand up to leave, him and his friends stand up to leave as well.

14:56 We walk outside and he starts to try confront me.

14:59 Now, I'm more of a lover than a fighter, but I stand my ground.

15:04 My girlfriend at the time comes in between us and kind

15:06 of like pushes him back and tries to calm him down a bit.

15:09 And he's getting more and more aggressive.

15:11 The bouncers decided to step in at this point.

15:14 The bouncers at Hooters in Johannesburg are massive,

15:17 so they kind of diffused the situation.

15:20 The bouncer then put his arm around me and started to walk me to my car

15:25 and the other bouncer was arguing with the guy

15:28 behind me and just trying to handle the situation.

15:31 Every time I glanced back another one of this dude's friends arrive.

15:35 So like it's turning from two people into like four and then

15:38 six and then at some point there was like eight of them.

15:41 Now the bouncer behind me is starting to get obviously a little

15:45 overwhelmed and the one that's walking me to my car is like okay,

15:48 you need to leave now.

15:49 Get in the car and go.

15:50 Get in the car.

15:51 The one female friend of mine,

15:53 she got in the driver's seat and I was like I don't think you should drive,

15:56 let me drive rather just in case we

15:58 need to like get away or something like that.

16:00 I feel like I'm a more evasive driver, you know.

16:04 This parking lot that Hooters is in is like parking lots

16:08 with parkades on either side but there's one entry and exit.

16:11 As we reverse out and we start going down this exit path,

16:15 him and his entire group of friends BLOCK THE ROAD.

16:21 SO NOW I'M LIKE OKAY, NOW WHAT?

16:23 He's standing in front of the car and he's

16:25 swearing at me and trying to intimidate me.

16:29 The friend of mine in the back, the one that was visiting from Afghanistan,

16:33 had his window rolled down and one of this dude's friends

16:36 punched him through the window and ended up chipping his tooth.

16:40 His famous quote from that is he spends his career in a war

16:44 zone but comes back for one night in South Africa and gets punched.

16:50 This guy starts like pushing on the bonnet of the car trying to stop the car.

16:53 At this point I've had enough so I

16:55 started to edge forwards and as I move forwards

16:58 he jumped onto the bonnet of the car

17:00 and like smashed a massive hole in the windshield.

17:04 I memorized it.

17:05 He's lost it.

17:06 Yeah, he's pretty cray-cray.

17:08 So at this point I just floored it and he kind

17:11 of rolled off the car and we got home after that.

17:15 That's not where the story ends though.

17:17 Were police called?

17:18 That's what I'm getting to.

17:19 So, we got home and the friend whose car it

17:22 was went to go lay charges at the police station.

17:25 The next day, this guy contacted us and they were trying to like negotiate

17:30 so that she would drop the charges and he would pay for the damages.

17:34 But it turns out he was contacting us because he tried to charge me as well.

17:39 So, he also went to the police station

17:41 and he tried to charge me with attempted murder.

17:44 Oh my Oh my lord.

17:47 When he was charged with malicious damage to property.

17:50 So, we ended up getting contacted by a detective and now I'm super nervous.

17:55 Like my first run-in with the law.

17:57 I'm like, "What's going on?

17:58 Am I going to get arrested for this?" I

18:00 go to the police station, make my statement.

18:02 The detective has taken both of our statements and he says,

18:05 "Even a blind man can see this dude's not telling the truth,

18:08 you know?" So, I shouldn't worry about it.

18:09 So, I was like, "Okay." And he said he'll let me know if I

18:12 need to come in for anything again and that was the end of that.

18:16 Then, about a week later, he phones me.

18:19 He's like, "I need you to come

18:20 to the police station today." I'm like, "Oof, okay." So,

18:23 I get my friend to go with me in case he can arrest me or something.

18:26 That they take my car home.

18:28 But, yeah, turns out that wasn't the case.

18:30 He just wanted to tell me that they'd actually arrested

18:32 the other guy and he wanted to confirm some of my statements.

18:36 So, that's kind of where it ended.

18:38 I ended up being a witness for his trial.

18:41 Yeah, I've no idea if he was convicted or not.

18:44 I wasn't there for the sentencing or whether

18:47 like he was guilty or anything like that.

18:49 So, it was just stand as a witness and that was kind of the end of that.

18:53 And did he ever reach out to your then girlfriend about it?

18:57 I don't think so.

18:58 I ended up moving back to my hometown and then back to Johannesburg again.

19:01 So, a few years later, I like I bumped into him at the gym.

19:04 Oh, you did?

19:05 He didn't say anything.

19:07 He didn't do anything.

19:08 So, I think he'd learned his lesson.

19:10 Whether or not he got charged or not.

19:12 Like, he was super young,

19:13 so I don't know if he would have gotten a criminal record or anything from that.

19:17 So, I'm sure the judge would have been

19:19 lenient if it was like a first-time offense.

19:21 People cannot control their temper.

19:23 No, young men are wound up, a little hot.

19:27 Yeah, especially when the legal drinking age is 18.

19:29 Oh, true.

19:30 Yeah.

19:30 Yeah, alcohol, jealousy, massive size, maybe he was juicing,

19:34 who knows what's in the mix.

19:36 Yeah, a lot's going on.

19:37 Well, I'm glad you made it out of there.

19:39 And I hope that didn't taint your feelings about Hooters.

19:42 No, not at all.

19:43 I still regularly go to Hooters

19:45 for their all-you-can-eat chicken wing special, which is

19:48 Oh, they've got an all-you-can-eat wing special?

19:51 Yeah.

19:52 Oh, baby.

19:53 And you'd love the exchange rates for it as well.

19:56 Surprised they don't do some sort of like chicken breast special.

20:01 You're more perverted than us.

20:03 All-you-can-eat breast special.

20:04 Oh my god, Muffy, you're so perverted.

20:07 I will say I hated this about Hooters.

20:08 They were very uh ethical about serving people cuz my friend Scotty

20:12 and I used to go and watch basketball in the Santa Monica Hooters location,

20:16 eat wings, they would only sell you two pitchers of beer.

20:19 Yeah, because all the pandemonium in the parking lot.

20:23 But we would always be a little frustrated with what they wanted us to consume.

20:26 But again, very ethical of them.

20:28 So, I guess I am applauding them, even though I was frustrated.

20:31 How about down there?

20:32 Is it willy-nilly?

20:33 Will they overserve you?

20:34 Are they pretty tight?

20:35 The portion sizes are pretty big.

20:36 I have been to the US before,

20:38 and South African portion sizes don't really compare.

20:41 Like, US portion sizes are insanely huge.

20:44 Yeah.

20:45 I know, we're so gluttonous, it's crazy.

20:47 I'm guessing you don't have 64-oz drinks at the gas station, either.

20:51 No, none of that.

20:54 Well, Casey, it's lovely meeting you,

20:56 and we're so flattered you're down in South Africa listening.

20:59 I think I might be a first for South Africa.

21:02 so.

21:03 Please spread the word.

21:04 All right, well, lovely meeting you, Casey.

21:06 You, too.

21:07 Have a good one.

21:08 Take care.

21:09 Hello.

21:10 Hello.

21:11 Can you hear me?

21:12 Yes, is it Lea or Lee?

21:13 Lee.

21:14 You just never know with these spellings.

21:17 That's tough.

21:18 I was excited for you guys to guess.

21:20 I get Lea a lot.

21:21 I get Lay a lot.

21:22 Lay is inappropriate, but Lea and Lee, that's tricky.

21:29 How do you spell Lea?

21:31 Leia?

21:31 Lay?

21:31 Lea?

21:32 Lay?

21:33 Leia.

21:33 No, Lea.

21:34 How do you spell Lea?

21:35 L E A H usually.

21:37 Where are you at, Lee?

21:38 I am just a stone's throw away

21:39 from some of your many references in Northville, Michigan.

21:43 Oh, I know Northville inside and out.

21:46 Do you cruise Hines Park?

21:48 Of course.

21:48 I'm like a mile away.

21:50 Wonderful.

21:50 Yes, we would go cruising in Hines Park quite a bit.

21:54 My very good friend went to Novi High.

21:56 My husband went to Novi High.

21:59 Wow.

21:59 And then we would cruise downtown Northville.

22:01 That's the story, Monica, that I met the girl I was lying about

22:04 my age and she tooted when we were hooking up.

22:07 That's a famous story.

22:09 I'm sorry, that's all from Northville.

22:11 Bringing back all the memories.

22:14 Lee, did you grow up in Northville?

22:16 I grew up in Northville and I met

22:18 my husband at Michigan State where the story takes place.

22:22 And then we moved all around.

22:23 I was by Wabi Wabi in Chicago,

22:25 down in Dallas, and now back in good old Northville.

22:28 No stint in Atlanta?

22:30 What do you have against Atlanta?

22:32 You know, I worked for United Airlines, so they're very Delta country.

22:35 So, maybe my only rivalry there.

22:38 Do you still work for them or no, you don't?

22:40 No, I'm a stay-at-home mom.

22:41 I'm a personal trainer.

22:42 Okay.

22:42 Nice.

22:43 Oh, I have gains.

22:44 Monica's worked out 1.2 times, 1.1 times.

22:48 muscles are huge.

22:50 I'm sorry to scare you.

22:51 How often are you working out?

22:53 We're so off track, but I'm curious.

22:55 Probably five to six times a week.

22:57 There we go.

22:58 Always a rest day, sometimes two.

23:00 How about five or six days rest days?

23:02 And like the six-day workout.

23:05 Okay.

23:05 seven on accident.

23:06 Okay, let's hear our story.

23:08 story.

23:08 Okay, so as we referenced Michigan State,

23:10 sort of known as a party school, which is where the story takes place.

23:14 This is January 2014,

23:16 which would make me a 18-year-old freshman at Michigan State.

23:21 We are back for second semester and I was on a sports team at MSU.

23:27 And I actually want you guys to guess what team you think I was on.

23:30 I think you were a soccer player.

23:32 Uh lacrosse.

23:33 We're going to go lacrosse cuz my husband was lacrosse.

23:36 So, I'm going to keep that part anonymous, but I like lacrosse.

23:38 Okay, so neither.

23:39 Neither.

23:39 Because I'm on the lacrosse team,

23:42 there are girls who are a lot older that I become friends with over

23:45 summer trainings and we kind of had this big age group of friends.

23:49 All the girls who are 21 obviously are going

23:51 to the bars on Friday night and that gave

23:53 a big incentive to the younger girls to find a way to also go to the bars.

23:57 So, there are two ways at the time it felt like you could get a fake ID.

24:01 First one is the one I opted for, which

24:04 was to take some sort of very sketchy passport-like photo

24:08 to send to who knows what country via whatever boy

24:11 on the dorm floor was willing to take on this endeavor.

24:15 Get all of those fake IDs back in like a necklace box from again,

24:19 who knows what country and who knows when.

24:21 And he would kind of go and pass them out.

24:22 Terrible, very clearly fake from Connecticut.

24:25 Not great, but worked at the bars you knew it would work at.

24:27 The more ideal way to get the ID was a cousin that turned 21,

24:32 pretends they lose theirs,

24:34 you look enough like them, you use a real Michigan driver's license,

24:37 you know, more of a sure fire.

24:39 Yeah.

24:40 ID was always preferred.

24:41 I didn't get to have that obviously cuz nobody looked like me.

24:44 One time I used Callie's ID, we've talked about that.

24:46 Anyway, go on.

24:48 So, I've got my fake ID.

24:50 I'm 18, feeling good,

24:52 getting into the bars I know I can get into with my older teammates,

24:55 but uh some of the other girls in my grade were still looking for an ID.

24:59 Well, turns out, feels like fate,

25:01 one of the older girls on the team is at a party and sticks her hand

25:05 down cuz she drops her phone in the couch

25:07 cushion and pulls out a driver's license.

25:09 Oh, bingo.

25:10 For someone we don't know, but immediately she looks at it,

25:14 blonde, blue eyed, could have been any one of our teammates.

25:17 So, she holds on to this morsel and she decides that she is going tonight,

25:22 one of my best friends, another freshman, Janine, with this fake ID.

25:26 Now, Janine is about 5'1, 5'2, cute as a button, and this ID does say 5'10.

25:34 Uh-oh.

25:33 Oh boy.

25:33 we're going to roll with it.

25:50 So, Friday night comes around, January, it's freezing cold.

25:53 Monica, as you know, the best part of going out is the getting ready.

25:56 We're getting ready in the dorms,

25:58 skater skirts, peplum tops, big chunky Charlie's necklace.

26:02 We're ready to go.

26:03 We're hyping each other up.

26:04 Janine parts her hair the way that Haley, the fake ID name, has her hair parted.

26:10 She wears it straight, which she never does.

26:12 We're trying to make Janine Haley.

26:13 She is living the role.

26:15 We get to the bar and this is V Bar on campus, okay?

26:18 Rick's American Cafe for all my fellow Spartans.

26:22 I got to ask my sister about this.

26:23 My sister's a MSU graduate.

26:25 She will know.

26:26 It is a basement bar as all good college bars are,

26:29 and the way it's set up is you kind of can see

26:32 the front door and that's it because you immediately go down the steps.

26:36 So, the line goes out and around the corner and you have

26:38 to wait outside until you get to the bouncer and go in.

26:41 So, we've got our group of all my teammates and we are strategizing here.

26:45 We've got someone who's 21 with a real ID first, then me,

26:49 then someone else who's 21, you know, we're intermingling the fakes.

26:52 We think this is going to help us.

26:53 I cosign on this.

26:54 Thank you.

26:54 Appreciate that.

26:55 We're there and we are strategizing and while we're in line, we're all studying.

27:00 Everyone who's underage is studying their info, right?

27:02 Address, what's your date of birth, what's your full name,

27:05 what's your middle name, what's your hometown, all the things.

27:07 And Janine is locked in as Haley.

27:09 She's ready to go.

27:10 And we decide because she this is her first time using fake,

27:13 she's going to go very last because the rumor

27:16 is kind of like if you're cool with the bouncer, even if he turns you away,

27:20 usually they'll give you your ID back and just say, "I know this is fake.

27:23 Skurry off." She's like, "I'll just go back to the dorms if I don't get in." So,

27:26 we get up to the bouncer.

27:27 Somebody goes, they get in.

27:29 I go, I get in.

27:30 Next person goes in and then we look at Janine and we're all kind

27:33 of trying to like creep down the steps so that we can hear what's happening.

27:38 Sweetie Petey, little farm town, she's been peer pressured into using a fake ID,

27:43 really, is what's happening here.

27:44 She hands over the ID and immediately the bouncer looks at it, smirks, and goes,

27:50 "How do you know Haley?"[ __] Yeah, see, this is the risk you run.

27:57 We're on a campus of 50,000 just undergrads.

28:00 But Janine is a fast on her feet and immediately,

28:02 instead of trying to be the I am Haley, which is what I would have done.

28:05 I would have doubled down, panicked, gone with it.

28:07 Immediately, doesn't miss a beat, goes, "Uh, we're really good friends.

28:11 Like, all my friends just got in.

28:12 Can you just give me the ID back?" And she was just,

28:15 I think, trying to get the ID back.

28:16 I don't even know if she wanted to get down the steps,

28:18 but he kind of like rolls his eyes, gives it to her, and lets her IN.

28:22 YEAH.

28:24 GOOD JOB.

28:25 REVEALER AT THE END, she's too cute to let her go home.

28:28 So, Janine gets down the steps and we are celebrating

28:31 like it is Super Bowl Sunday and we have won.

28:34 We are Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce high-fiving.

28:37 This is the greatest thing that's happened to our freshman selves.

28:40 The bar is split because you go down the steps,

28:42 you go to the left side we call the dark side cuz that was the dance floor,

28:45 the booty bumping of it all.

28:47 And then the right side was the light side,

28:49 and that's where you would go to like watch the game, order a drink.

28:52 It's a big oval, so you can walk kind of all the way around.

28:55 So, we're into the bar.

28:56 We are there for probably 45 minutes,

28:59 just enough to get a couple vodka crans in us.

29:02 Oh, yeah, that was my drink, too.

29:04 Oh, yeah, it's every 18-year-old's drink.

29:06 What else do you order?

29:07 My 18-year-old drink was amaretto sour.

29:10 Oh.

29:11 That's what we would all get.

29:13 And then I worked my way up to vodka.

29:15 I like that you're also always like it's a twofer.

29:17 You're getting drunk and then also kind of buffeting yourself from a UTI.

29:21 Exactly.

29:22 You're being healthy.

29:22 It's the wellness choice.

29:24 We're having a good time.

29:25 We're booty bumping.

29:26 Now, the manager of this bar,

29:28 we're going to call him Hank cuz I'm pretty sure he still

29:30 works there and I want to be in good graces as an alumna,

29:33 but he is exactly what you think of when

29:35 you imagine a Midwestern bar manager, like big, burly.

29:39 He's wearing the Rick's East Lansing t-shirt.

29:41 Everybody kind of knows his face in East Lansing.

29:44 We saw him walking over to Janine.

29:47 So, there's a couple of us that are all hanging out

29:49 and Janine is near the bar getting a drink on the dark side.

29:52 Hank walks over, steps right in front of Janine and just puts

29:55 his hand out palm up as if to say, "Hand it over." Yeah.

29:59 Right, like I know you're using a fake, hand it over, but he's saying no words.

30:02 So, from the opposite corner of the bar,

30:05 I am watching this go down and immediately I

30:08 clock that the person standing next to him IS HALEY.

30:12 OH, OKAY.

30:14 THE REASON that the bouncer immediately recognized Haley

30:17 is because they're co-workers and she's A BARTENDER.

30:20 OH MY GOSH, what are the odds?

30:24 That is a bad, bad sign.

30:27 Bad luck is what that is.

30:29 As she's fumbling through her crossbody to get this ID out,

30:33 she goes to give it to Hank and Haley snaps

30:36 it out of her hand and just turns and walks away.

30:39 Kind of drew the the that at some point in the bouncer shift,

30:42 he ran down the steps and said to Haley, I just let your friend in with your ID.

30:46 And Haley said something like, what do you mean my friend?

30:49 I lost my ID at a party.

30:50 You're right, and that's why he let her in.

30:53 He's like, oh, it's one of Haley's buddies.

30:55 She works here.

30:55 We're going to let it slide.

30:57 I'm caught up now.

30:58 That makes sense.

30:59 So now we've pissed off Hank,

31:01 we've pissed off Haley, and we've pissed off the bouncer.

31:03 Yeah.

31:04 There's a lot of lies happening here, right?

31:06 From far away, I just see Haley get her ID

31:10 and Janine turns immediately and walks the other way.

31:14 So I'm like, we're good.

31:16 I've got three vodka crans, and I'm booty bumping.

31:18 Come on back and join the party.

31:20 I think we're fine.

31:21 And she comes to join the group and is like, we got to go.

31:24 They're mad.

31:24 This is bad news.

31:26 Now, truly like out of a movie,

31:28 cut to the next thing we see is we're trying to get up the steps,

31:32 and at the top of the steps

31:33 with the bouncer are two East Lansing police officers.

31:38 __] that.

31:38 No, we're going ALL THE WAY.

31:41 THEY WERE known to send the police officers

31:44 in and kind of have a good relationship and say, oh,

31:47 we don't know who's using fake IDs, but if you want to come down,

31:51 you're allowed to go and ask people to see their IDs.

31:53 So we're at the top, and we just hear the bouncer say to the police officers,

31:59 yeah, blonde in the big pink necklace.

32:01 Oh.

32:03 Describing

32:03 god.

32:03 Janine.

32:04 She just pull off the necklace and throw it?

32:07 Literally.

32:07 So we are walking the steps, our walk turns into a full-blown sprint.

32:12 We turn the opposite way from the police officers, and at this point,

32:16 I don't know if it's the adrenaline, I don't know what's happening,

32:18 but there are no words being said between the group

32:21 of the three of us that are sprinting away from this bar.

32:24 We are just like all somehow telekinesis going

32:27 the same direction and getting out of there.

32:30 End up running away from the police officers, they do not chase us.

32:33 In my mind, I was like, we're now going to be on a foot chase.

32:36 That did not happen.

32:37 We ran around the corner, went into the drunk food spot,

32:40 ditched the pink necklace in the bathroom, and all was well.

32:43 Scary.

32:45 That's exciting.

32:46 All's well that ends well.

32:47 The full circle full circle of it is she obviously got her fake taken.

32:52 I was like the young one.

32:53 I didn't turn 21 until well into senior year.

32:56 Oh.

32:56 And I got very cocky with my fake ID because it had worked for so long.

33:01 So, for her 21st birthday, I tried to use my fake ID in Vegas.

33:05 Not a good idea.

33:07 And that's when I got mine snatched.

33:08 Happened to the best of us.

33:10 Two things.

33:10 I used Ken Kennedy's at times when I

33:12 needed to, but mostly we lived in downtown Detroit

33:14 and they did not give a flying[ __]

33:16 what age you were in downtown Detroit in 1993.

33:19 They didn't care at all.

33:20 You go into the liquor store and buy

33:21 whatever you wanted and they're like, "Great.

33:23 You got cash, you're good." Mine got taken

33:26 my senior year right before I turned 21.

33:31 It ended up being okay.

33:33 I got 3 years out of it.

33:35 What was yours?

33:35 How'd you How'd you get yours?

33:37 kind, obviously.

33:38 it off of a freshman in the dorm?

33:40 I had a friend who was making them.

33:43 Okay.

33:43 Handmade.

33:45 literally glued to the back of a Blockbuster card.

33:48 You couldn't take it out of the wallet.

33:50 Oh.

33:51 You know, you had the wallet with the clear

33:52 thing and you would just like give them that.

33:54 You know, if they said,

33:55 "Take it out," then you're like, "Actually, I got to go."

33:58 Actually, I have diarrhea.

33:59 I got to go home right now.

34:00 Yeah, that's what happened.

34:01 I have diarrhea.

34:02 So, he made me and I cried.

34:05 fugazi.

34:05 You cried?

34:07 Yeah.

34:09 I was so embarrassed.

34:11 Janine's coming out.

34:12 Someone over here.

34:13 Gabby might be behind too.

34:15 Hold on.

34:15 I'm giving my air pod.

34:16 Oh my god.

34:18 Look at this.

34:20 You're still friends.

34:21 ROOMMATES TO BEST FRIENDS.

34:23 OH.

34:24 THAT IS so cute.

34:26 member?

34:26 I'm was not a part of the story.

34:28 I met them after, but I'm just a huge armchair genie.

34:31 And so, Lea and I text all the time.

34:33 When episodes come out, we're always just like bonding over it.

34:35 She was like, "Okay,

34:36 you have to come over for some moral support for the story

34:38 and sneak in and say hi if you can." So, I just wanted to say I'm A HUGE FAN.

34:41 OH, I love it.

34:43 All right.

34:43 Well, nice meeting all of you.

34:45 Yes.

34:46 Yeah, nice meeting you, too.

34:47 Thank you for letting us tell our story.

34:49 Yeah, thank you.

34:49 So fun.

34:51 Bye.

34:53 Katie, where are you camping?

34:55 I'm currently camping in my living room.

34:58 Oh, I love it.

34:59 Are those rosettes?

35:01 Oh, no.

35:01 This is part of a fort kit that my children own.

35:04 Oh, my gosh.

35:05 I love that.

35:06 That's so fun.

35:07 and I come across big tubs of the poles

35:10 and the joining pieces all the time and think,

35:12 are we really still ever going to play with this?

35:15 Can we please get rid of it?

35:16 And we don't.

35:17 Well, now they're also weapons.

35:18 Oh, sure.

35:19 Sure.

35:20 Sure.

35:20 Sure.

35:20 Sure.

35:22 Multi-use.

35:21 Yeah, I mean, look at it.

35:22 It's just dying to be swung at a sibling.

35:25 Where are you at in the world?

35:26 Outside of Washington, D.C.

35:27 in northern Virginia.

35:29 Oh, okay.

35:30 Wonderful.

35:31 What kind of weather do you have over there right now?

35:33 It's a little chilly, but the sun is starting to come back out.

35:36 So, I'm slowly getting out of my seasonal depression.

35:39 Oh, good.

35:40 I'm happy for you.

35:41 Driving with the windows down yet?

35:42 Yes.

35:43 Sunroof wide open.

35:44 Oh, it's a big, big moment.

35:46 You know, in my planner, I have to write down what I'm grateful for every day.

35:50 Yeah.

35:50 And yesterday, I wrote sunshine.

35:51 It's a good one.

35:52 Cuz it's a real good one.

35:53 So, you have a bar story.

35:55 I do.

35:56 So, this story takes place in a small college town in Virginia.

36:02 I am a college sophomore in this story, and I am not yet 21.

36:07 So, I am going to the bars with a fake ID that is pretty bad.

36:13 And where did you get it?

36:14 variety of Yeah, we're learning a lot about fake IDs in this episode.

36:18 I'm learning a lot about fake IDs on this episode.

36:20 What was your variety?

36:22 We found some guy that did fakes.

36:24 It wasn't like a real ID.

36:26 It was created for me.

36:28 And so I basically traded a Kate Spade bag that my aunt gave me for this ID.

36:33 Oh.

36:34 That's pretty expensive.

36:35 Better be a good fake.

36:36 It was bad.

36:37 Did you have to take a picture or did you use an existing one?

36:39 How was it constructed?

36:40 They took a picture and then it was horribly laminated

36:44 and then they didn't even like sand down or round it.

36:47 So it was pointy.

36:49 Oh, sharp, dangerous to retrieve out of the wallet.

36:52 Yeah.

36:53 Yes.

36:53 And how successful was it as a fake ID?

36:55 Did it work?

36:56 If they ever used the scanner,

36:58 which they started using as I was getting closer to 21, I would not make it in.

37:03 But for the most part it did its job.

37:05 Okay, great, great.

37:06 love that.

37:07 It's a Thursday night.

37:08 It's the local bar that everyone goes to.

37:11 It's only college students.

37:13 And it's one of those special college bars that has this big

37:16 open space where you can dance and it's like a club,

37:20 but then as soon as you enter these other doors,

37:22 it's just like a restaurant and bar.

37:24 So it's pitcher night, it's two for one,

37:27 and I have two pitchers and I'm going to meet my friends.

37:32 I'm already wasted.

37:33 We're already making our way towards this club space.

37:36 So it's like a different feel now.

37:39 I am hammered.

37:40 And as I'm walking, I'm in my heels and my black lacy going out top.

37:45 I'm strutting my stuff.

37:47 I slip on a puddle of something.

37:50 Uh-oh.

37:50 And I fall face forward and I catch myself with my mouth.

37:56 Ah.

37:57 Okay, okay.

37:57 You break your fall with your teeth.

37:59 I did.

37:59 I broke my fall with my teeth.

38:01 Cuz you couldn't let those pitchers go.

38:03 I didn't.

38:03 I needed to.

38:04 It was a priority.

38:05 I had to get them to my friends.

38:07 So I fell and I knocked all four of my front teeth out.

38:11 OH.

38:11 OH MY GOODNESS.

38:13 This is really a serious tumble.

38:15 It was in a like crescent moon shape across all four.

38:19 Oh,[ __] Oh, wait.

38:20 They broke off?

38:22 The roots didn't come out?

38:23 No, the roots didn't come out, but they all broke off.

38:28 Oh, which was actually a pretty fortunate for me

38:30 later that they didn't all actually come out.

38:33 Wait, can I ask you quickly like out

38:35 of What's the pain of your teeth cracking off?

38:38 There's zero pain.

38:39 Oh, that's nice.

38:42 nothing.

38:41 But you're drunk, which helps.

38:43 Could also be a little shock.

38:45 Yeah.

38:45 And you run your tongue along your teeth and you go, "Oh, there's a moon shape."

38:49 Yeah, I don't run my tongue along my teeth.

38:52 I just run my tongue through my teeth.

38:55 Really quick, do you look on the ground for the pieces of teeth?

38:59 So, this is where it actually gets bad.

39:02 My guy friends that lived around the corner from me,

39:04 they saw this whole thing and they watched me

39:08 spit my teeth into my hand, and Oh, boy.

39:11 look at them like really pissed off,

39:13 and then throw them across the floor of the bar.

39:16 Gangster move, I like it.

39:21 So, they did frantically look for my teeth, but we never saw them again.

39:26 Which was also a blessing because the dentist would have tried to glue them.

39:30 It wouldn't have looked good.

39:32 Okay, big big seam across your smile.

39:35 I'm wasted at this point and my guy friends being guys were like,

39:39 "We want to stay at the bar." So,

39:41 they usher me into a cab with people I don't know.

39:46 So, strangers are now bringing me home.

39:49 They decided that finding my friends was not the best option.

39:52 Oh my god.

39:53 Well, really quick.

39:54 I mean, maybe they saw what disregard you had for your teeth and they were like,

39:57 "Oh, she didn't care about[ __] Just put her with a stranger.

39:59 She doesn't care and buy her a drink." They can't care.

40:01 They should care.

40:02 It was just a normal night for me.

40:04 So, I get inside and I'm by myself and I'm not really sure what to do.

40:09 I'm not really panicking.

40:11 It could still be that I was in shock, but everything seems fine.

40:15 I do call my mom and it's probably 11:00 or 12:00 at night on a Thursday night.

40:20 She's sleeping.

40:22 She's 2 hours away, and I leave her a message, and all I say IS THEY'RE GONE.

40:31 AND THEN MY ROOMMATE COMES IN, and so I hang up the phone,

40:34 and I don't say anything else.

40:35 My roommate quickly calls my boyfriend, who is long distance,

40:40 and she quickly just tells him what's going on before we go to the ER,

40:44 and she says, "Katie fell at the bar." Which he heard as Katie fell off the bar.

40:52 So, he's thinking I was dancing on the bar.

41:02 Yeah.

41:02 It made me want to actually have danced on the bar.

41:05 Like, I wish I had done it.

41:06 So, we do go to the ER, and the doctor is unfazed by us.

41:12 We're wasted.

41:13 He checks me for head trauma.

41:15 I'm fine.

41:15 He says, "You just need to go to the dentist in the morning.

41:18 Everything's fine." He does prescribe me Percocet.

41:21 It was also fun to say at the pharmacy with my list.

41:25 So, Percocet.

41:28 So, we proceed to go home.

41:29 Everything's fine.

41:30 I go to sleep, and I wake up at 7:00

41:33 in the morning from a a phone call from my mom.

41:36 And she is just like, "What is happening?

41:39 What's going?" So, I tell her everything, and she says,

41:43 "Okay, I'll be there in 2 hours." So,

41:46 on her way, she does make a dentist appointment for me,

41:49 and I went back to sleep.

41:51 I made no effort to clean myself up.

41:54 I have last night's makeup on.

41:56 I have maybe like those Juicy Couture sweatpants

41:59 on with Juicy across my butt, a crop top.

42:03 I look like a mess.

42:04 I smell like a bar.

42:05 My mom is clearly ashamed of my choices.

42:07 The cap's off the Percocet bottle, sitting on the nightstand.

42:12 She did make me give her the Percocet.

42:13 Yeah.

42:14 Yeah, smart.

42:15 She takes me to the dentist.

42:17 And the minute that I walk in, I realize that my Jesus loving

42:22 mother has taken me to the most Christian dentist there could ever be.

42:28 And I know that she's not acting that disappointed,

42:31 but that this is her form of retribution for me.

42:34 I proceed to spend the next 2 hours in the dentist chair smelling like tar

42:40 and staring up at scenes from the Bible

42:43 listening to all the Jesus necessary in the world.

42:46 Oh, so they had adorned the ceiling with Jesus iconography?

42:50 It was.

42:51 Wow.

42:52 this dentist, did he send you out with a smile?

42:55 I mean, he's got to make fake crowns or veneers?

42:58 It was actually really impressive.

43:00 So I needed a root canal because I did kill one of my roots.

43:04 So I had to do that and then they had to grind

43:07 down all four of the teeth so that they could put veneers on.

43:11 Yeah, that's kind of fun.

43:12 See, it's an excuse to get veneers.

43:15 Have you had to have them replaced?

43:17 I already had to have them replaced once.

43:19 So that first time was on my parents' dime and then this last time was not.

43:24 They're pricey, right?

43:25 They are pricey.

43:25 You want nice ones.

43:26 Well, you have nice ones.

43:27 Your teeth look great.

43:29 Thank you.

43:29 My husband said that I need to make sure I brush them before I talk to you guys.

43:33 Oh, that was nice of him.

43:35 What I'm mad about in these post-apocalyptic shows is

43:38 they don't show people whose veneers have fallen out.

43:41 Like there should be a good percentage of the people

43:44 in post-apocalyptic America who have the shark teeth.

43:47 I really need to store up on like the dental glue just in case.

43:50 Yeah, you're going to want to be able to put them back in there.

43:52 Other people be grabbing water and stuff

43:54 and you'll be grabbing Fixodent or whatever it's called.

43:57 Oh, well, Katie, it's lovely meeting you.

44:00 Lovely meeting you guys, too.

44:01 Thank you so much for all you do.

44:03 Oh, our pleasure.

44:05 All right, take care.

44:06 Bye.

44:06 You too.

44:06 Goodbye.

44:07 Bye.

44:08 All right, love you.

44:09 Have fun at the bar tonight anyone who's going out.

44:12 Try to keep your teeth.

44:13 Yeah, be safe out there.

44:14 Don't get in any fights.

44:16 Use a high quality fake ID if you must.

44:19 And condom.

44:20 All right, love you.

44:23 Bye.

44:23 Do you want to sing a tune or something?

44:24 You want to do a theme song?

44:25 No.

44:27 Okay, great.

44:28 We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go.

44:35 We're going to ask some random questions

44:37 and with the help of our cherries we'll get some suggestions.

44:43 On the fire rhyme dish.

44:45 On the fire rhyme dish.

44:47 Enjoy.