Finding out that this is not really The Good Place

0:06 Oh man, I can't believe you figured it out.

0:14 Oh god.

0:16 All right, nerds.

0:17 Let's just get this over with.

0:20 I'll go to the bad place with real Elanor, and you three can stay.

0:23 Yes, we get to stay, baby.

0:24 We did it.

0:25 Wait, no, you're not going.

0:29 I am.

0:31 What?

0:31 Why?

0:31 Real Elanor is my soulmate or was my soulmate.

0:35 And she's only going down there because she thinks that I don't love her.

0:38 Do you?

0:38 I don't know.

0:39 Please don't ask me that.

0:40 My stomach hurts.

0:40 The point is, if she's going down there because of me, I'll never be at peace.

0:45 Yes, we get to stay, baby.

0:46 We did it.

0:47 No.

0:47 This is bonkers.

0:48 I am going.

0:49 End of story.

0:50 No, I'm going end of everything.

0:53 What?

0:53 Now you're trying to replace Cheety?

0:55 No, I'm going to replace real Ena.

0:57 Chitty and I are going to go together,

0:58 which means that you and real Jason can stay.

1:02 Yes, we get to stay.

1:02 Baby, we did it.

1:04 Look, I love you and I think you love me.

1:08 We can be together away from everyone else.

1:11 Obviously, we'll be miserable, but I truly believe our love will make us happy.

1:17 Okay, you realize the bad place is not some sort of couple's retreat, right?

1:20 If it is, Janet and I would like to go.

1:23 Well, that's enough out of you, robot lover.

1:25 Hey, that's racist.

1:26 Not a robot.

1:26 You have some nerve guys here.

1:32 Why am I only going?

1:34 Because Elanor is going.

1:36 If you go, it would make sense for me to go.

1:40 You're not.

1:44 Holy shirt balls.

1:49 What?

1:51 Wow.

1:51 Okay.

1:52 Okay.

1:54 Woo.

1:55 Yo, Mikey.

1:56 Sean, come on out.

2:02 Is everything okay?

2:03 Right as rain, Mikey, my boy.

2:05 So Cheety and I are going to go to the bad place.

2:10 What?

2:09 Trust me, I've got this.

2:11 That's our decision.

2:12 Let's hit it.

2:14 What about real ele?

2:15 No, it's me and Cheetah.

2:16 Call the train.

2:19 Point of order.

2:20 I don't accept this offer.

2:21 The real mistakes were Jason and Elo.

2:23 Gaga.

2:24 You said any two of us.

2:25 It's me and Cheety.

2:26 Let's do it to it.

2:29 Michael, I just found an obscure precedent

2:31 in the rules that might just save everyone.

2:33 Buzz off, Bomber John.

2:35 Don't need it.

2:37 Uh, okay.

2:41 Ready when you are, boss.

2:43 Eleanor, what's going on?

2:44 It took me a while to figure it out,

2:47 but just now as we were all fighting and yelling at each other

2:51 and each one of us demanding we should go to the bad place,

2:54 I thought to myself, man, this is torture.

2:58 And then it hit me.

3:00 They're never going to call a train to take us to the bad place.

3:04 They can't because we're already here.

3:10 This is the bad place.

3:24 Oh man, I can't believe you figured it out.

3:31 Oh god, you you ruined everything.

3:35 You know that?

3:36 Oh man, Elellaner, you really suck.

3:40 I was so close to pulling it off.

3:42 No,

3:50 sorry.

3:50 So, she's right.

3:52 Yeah, she figured it out.

3:54 No, this doesn't make any sense.

3:57 This is paradise.

3:58 Oh, it looks like paradise,

4:01 but it's actually a filthy dumpster full of our worst anxieties.

4:06 I'm surrounded by people who are literally better than me.

4:10 Just me being here forced Cheety into an ethical cluster fork.

4:13 Tahani tortured Jason by constantly trying to get him to talk.

4:17 Jason tortured me because I was sure he would blow our cover,

4:19 which was torture for Cheety because he was responsible for me,

4:22 which made Cheety seem like the perfect soulmate.

4:24 And that tortured Tahani because he didn't love her.

4:27 You don't love me?

4:28 Please don't ask me that right now.

4:30 See, we've been torturing each other since the moment we arrived.

4:35 And everything Michael has done has made at least one of us miserable.

4:39 He played us like a fiddle.

4:41 Oh, dip.

4:42 Elanor, I told you that first night that we were in a prank show.

4:45 Oh, yeah, you did.

4:47 Great job, man.

4:51 Cheaty, don't go.

4:52 I don't care if you don't love me.

4:54 I love you.

4:56 It's the only thing that makes any sense to me in this crazy world.

4:59 And I think No, stop, Vicki.

5:02 They figured it out.

5:06 They They know this is the bad place.

5:07 Saloner figured it out.

5:13 Oh man, this was supposed to be my big moment.

5:15 I just rehearsed that speech for like 3 hours.

5:19 Damn it, Eleanor.

5:20 You are the worst.

5:22 And you can all suck it.

5:25 This is the wise monk who gave me the magic amulet.

5:27 I got to figure out what it means.

5:28 Could be the key to this entire mystery.

5:31 Luong.

5:31 Perfect.

5:32 Um, why don't you take uh Gianu back to your yurt right away,

5:38 homie?

5:37 No, I'm not spending another second with this loser.

5:41 You said he was going to be my best friend, but he is not.

5:44 My best friend from Jacksonville was named Pillboy, and he was dope.

5:48 We would talk together, get high together,

5:50 throw old batteries at drones together,

5:52 but this guy can't hold a camel to Pillboy.

5:56 Okay, I no longer think he's a wise monk,

5:57 and I'm pretty sure this is just a piece of garbage.

5:59 Babe, there you are.

6:00 I've been

6:01 Let me stop you.

6:02 Can I guess you've been worried sick about me?

6:06 I'm headed to the gym.

6:09 Sure, why not?

6:11 I'm quite confused.

6:12 Let me explain, gorgeous.

6:14 I don't know what this place is, but it is certainly not the good place.

6:18 Michael is forking with us.

6:21 Like a prank show?

6:22 Yeah, like a prank show.

6:23 Except according to this note, it's a prank show we've all been on before.

6:28 What note?

6:29 Apparently, I wrote myself a note and stuck it in that Jackie lady's mouth.

6:33 Janet.

6:33 Her name is Janet.

6:34 Oh, right.

6:34 Janet.

6:34 Hi there.

6:35 Hi, Jane.

6:36 Hi, Jason.

6:40 Are you kidding me?

6:42 Elellanar Shellstrop, you sneaky little so and so.

6:48 That was some very quick thinking.

6:50 I'm extremely impressed.

6:52 And to be honest, I'm relieved.

6:55 At least there's an explanation for why this all went south so fast.

7:00 But you're not going to be so lucky next time.

7:02 Next time.

7:03 What?

7:03 Yeah, he's going to do it again.

7:06 That's not going to work this time, dummy.

7:09 Okay, excuse me.

7:10 I'm sorry, but this is unacceptable.

7:11 I demand to speak to your superior.

7:13 I am so sorry, madam.

7:15 Please forgive me.

7:18 This is daily notes log for attempt number three of my neighborhood experiment.

7:24 Obviously, I hope and assume this will be the final version.

7:29 No, I know it will be.

7:32 All the kinks have been worked out.

7:33 This is the one.

7:35 And after I pull this off,

7:38 they're going to hang my picture in the Bad Place Hall

7:41 of Fame right next to the guy who invented Bees with Teeth.

7:47 Michael, what do we do here?

7:48 I don't know.

7:49 I Apparently, the Bad Place knows that one

7:51 of you actually belongs down there with them,

7:53 and they want that person to get inside

7:55 the obelisk or they're going to take all of you.

7:58 I can't go.

7:58 I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids.

8:01 than you.

8:02 What a stupid Asia I am.

8:04 I'd never survive down there.

8:05 They should take Anna.

8:06 She's a pear shape.

8:07 She'd fit right in.

8:08 Oh, excuse me.

8:08 You wish you could have a bite of this pear.

8:10 I'll go.

8:10 I deserve to go.

8:11 You guys can stay.

8:13 No, I have to go.

8:14 Well, then that's exactly why she do me a Holy shirt.

8:20 You guys, don't you get it?

8:22 Michael is torturing us.

8:24 That's why our lives have been so miserable since the moment we got here.

8:28 This isn't the good place.

8:30 It's the bad place.

8:35 Oh, farts.

8:38 My love, my sweet dod drop,

8:42 I have written you a threehour spoken word jazz opera.

8:52 Cool.

8:51 Ellie, less and more.

8:53 Who's it for?

8:54 For you, my do drop.

8:56 Creamer the crap.

8:57 Top to the b to the to the top.

9:00 Okay.

9:00 No.

9:01 No.

9:03 No version of heaven for anyone would ever include three hours of this.

9:09 We're in the bad place, aren't we?

9:12 Damn it.

9:12 That was a real trip for biscuits.

9:14 And now we're all wet.

9:16 Daddy O.

9:16 I never even got to play my stupid triangle.

9:20 Attempt 57.

9:22 Attempt 99.

9:23 Attempt 108.

9:25 I've analyzed some recent data.

9:27 Elellanar always seems to realize that they are

9:30 in the bad place just at the moment.

9:32 Excuse me.

9:33 Sorry.

9:33 The door was open, so I just came in.

9:35 Did you just say I'm in the bad place?

9:39 Attempt 109.

9:41 I've closed and locked the door.

9:44 Yep.

9:44 And we're ready to go.

9:47 This is your soulmate, Greg.

9:49 This is your soulmate, Glenn.

9:51 This is your soulmate, Tahani.

9:53 This is your soulmate, Lur.

9:54 This is your soulmate, a golden retriever.

9:58 Hang on.

9:59 Wait a minute.

10:00 You know what?

10:02 Holy smokes.

10:03 This is the bad place.

10:06 This is the bad place.

10:07 This is the bad place.

10:09 This is the bad place.

10:11 The pig's getting angry.

10:12 This is the bad place.

10:14 Beep.

10:14 Beep.

10:15 Beep.

10:15 Beep.

10:16 Oh.

10:16 Oh.

10:17 This is the bad place.

10:25 Where is everyone?

10:27 Who knows?

10:28 Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting

10:31 cuz it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it.

10:36 Is someone smoking a cigar?

10:41 Michael really screwed this up.

10:42 The regular Bad Place was fine.

10:44 If the forehead of flying bears ain't broke, don't fix them.

10:47 What was wrong with impaling?

10:49 I loved impaling.

10:50 Hey Todd, got a light?

10:52 Uh, yeah, obviously I have a light.

10:55 You know, you guys aren't supposed to be smoking.

10:57 You're supposed to keep your human suit on.

10:59 Those suits are really itchy for us.

11:01 Who even cares if they see us?

11:02 They're just going to get rebooted anyway.

11:04 Oh my god.

11:05 Oh my god.

11:06 Oh my god.

11:06 Oh my god.

11:07 Oh my god.

11:08 Oh my god.

11:09 This is the bad place.

11:10 I knew it.

11:11 And clam chowder is disgusting.

11:13 It's just hot ocean milk with dead animal croutons.

11:17 Well, what do we do?

11:17 Panic freak?

11:18 I usually panic, but I am happy to freak.

11:20 We have to stay cool.

11:21 As my mom always used to say, if a cop handcuffs you to a bike rack,

11:26 there's always something you can gnaw through.

11:28 Your mom always said that.

11:30 Michael, you simply cannot expect Chitty to decide whether homies.

11:37 Is there something messed up with this place?

11:39 We keep fighting with each other.

11:41 None of the TVs get the NFL red zone channel.

11:44 My soulmate doesn't even know who Blake Bles is.

11:47 I know this sounds crazy, but I think we're in the bad place.

11:53 Jason figured it out.

11:55 Jason?

11:56 This is a real low point.

11:58 Yeah, this one hurts.

12:00 Ow.

12:02 Okay, this might be the one.

12:04 We're a week in, Chi's teaching Ellaner, but she hates it.

12:07 Tahani still thinks that Jason's a monk.

12:11 Everyone's miserable.

12:13 I'm so happy.

12:15 Fingers crossed.