Idiots Of The Internet (2026 Edition)

0:00 Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.

0:01 Uh, everyone's favorite series, Idiots of the Internet.

0:05 Haven't done one of these in a while.

0:07 Brought it back from the dead.

0:09 Let's go.

0:10 Sweet and slavery.

0:11 All right.

0:12 Well, hot start.

0:13 [laughter] Two words that probably shouldn't be in the same sentence ever.

0:17 Although, I will say that does look very sweet and tasty.

0:23 Nothing about that is screaming slavery.

0:25 Thank God.

0:26 Also, that's not a sweet and savory thing anyway, right?

0:30 I'm going to be completely open and honest and brave here.

0:34 I don't really know what savory means.

0:37 Or when someone says something's very rich, I'm like, I don't does that.

0:40 I don't even know how to describe that on my tongue.

0:42 Like, I I don't I don't know what savory is.

0:44 I have no[ __] idea what savory means.

0:46 I know like the context clues, but I don't know.

0:50 Unfortunately, I do know what slavery is, but I don't know savory.

0:54 Today's special

0:56 [laughter]

0:56 Grilled salmon, mashed potatoes, and asberers.

0:59 Only $9 for uh some neurode diverge.

1:02 I mean, honestly, that seems like a steal.

1:05 Usually, you got to pay more for that type of thing.

1:07 All jokes aside, grilled salmon and mashed potatoes,

1:09 and we're only at nine bucks.

1:11 Where is this?

1:12 [laughter] You know what I mean?

1:12 Sign me up.

1:13 Due to unforeseen circumcisions, the dining room will be closed this evening.

1:19 Sorry for the inconvenience.

1:20 Open for takeout and delivery only.

1:21 What I want to know is how you were able to spell

1:24 inconvenience and not get circumstances because

1:28 inconvenience is basically impossible for me.

1:30 I that's one of those words that I just cannot spell at all ever.

1:34 Just look at the camera.

1:34 Spell it.

1:35 Don't look at the TV.

1:35 Just straight at the camera.

1:36 Inconvenience.

1:37 I N C O N V.

1:41 And now here's where God needs to get involved.

1:43 I

1:44 No.

1:44 No.

1:45 E.

1:45 Wait, what?

1:46 You just said I

1:46 I said what I said.

1:47 Wait.

1:48 I N C O N V.

1:54 Yeah.

1:54 I No.

1:55 No.

1:55 Oh,[ __] Well, yeah.

1:56 No, I'm doing the I before E, but too early.

1:58 See, this is I just get[ __] up, man.

2:00 I get[ __] up.

2:00 I'm an idiot.

2:01 I can spell.

2:02 I'm a good speller.

2:02 I I was I came in fourth place in the fifth grade spelling be.

2:05 Circumstance is is pretty easy, though.

2:07 I mean, come on.

2:08 Let's figure it out here.

2:09 It's Friday night.

2:10 Remind me to bring you the whor present.

2:12 [laughter] What is a whor present?

2:14 A penis.

2:15 H whor.

2:16 Yeah, that's what it's called.

2:17 So apparently it's not Hordor, it's Orurves.

2:20 Oh well, let's be fair here.

2:23 No one outside of France can spell that on the first go.

2:27 Like, give me a break, dude.

2:29 We've taken every other word that's French.

2:32 Is this a French word?

2:33 Cuz I don't want to keep [laughter] saying it.

2:35 It's got to be.

2:35 It's got to be French.

2:36 We've taken every other French word and made an like an English version.

2:41 This one though, one of the hardest.

2:43 That's like two words with an apostrophe in the middle of the[ __]

2:46 This is the one that we're going to keep the same.

2:48 Come on.

2:49 Can we just call them appetizers?

2:51 They're appetizers except they're lifted on a plate.

2:53 Fancy if they're appetizers, though.

2:55 Well, isn't ordef just their They're their walked.

2:57 Is that the thing?

2:59 I think.

2:59 Isn't like ordurve just like I'm walking with them.

3:01 What is it?

3:02 What is an ordurve?

3:03 It's just a small dish.

3:04 It's a small dish.

3:05 So, maybe it is an appetizer.

3:06 I just said appetizer.

3:07 I'm getting real American here.

3:09 Yeah, ordurve is is a is a toughy, you know,

3:11 and I don't I don't Hord is a bad attempt.

3:14 Let's Let's I'll be fair there.

3:16 That's not it.

3:18 It's not even close.

3:19 Okay.

3:19 Ne I don't even know what's going on anymore.

3:23 [laughter] Okay.

3:24 Never take your life for granted.

3:26 The Rock.

3:27 You never know it's going to be your time one day at a time.

3:30 First of all, that's not even how you say that.

3:33 Granite's wrong, but like that's not even You never know

3:35 it's going to be your time one day at a time.

3:38 Is like that's like three different expressions in one.

3:40 Also, what the[ __] is this photo?

3:43 I mean, what are we doing here?

3:44 You know what I mean?

3:45 Like, who made this?

3:46 Like, what AI machine[ __] its pants and spit this out?

3:49 Like, this is ridiculous, dude.

3:51 And Aussie Osborne's got lizard eyes, you know?

3:53 Like, this is very strange.

3:54 And he's got my grandma's throat.

3:57 What is that?

3:57 [laughter] I'm not familiar with who the black dude is,

3:59 but again, I don't like the Hulk Hogan.

4:04 Listen, get me out of here, Dick.

4:06 [laughter] I'm convinced that looks can be this evening.

4:10 Oh my god.

4:12 Right.

4:12 On a I believe this is like hinge.

4:14 It's a dating profile.

4:15 This is a dating profile.

4:16 Yeah, it's a dating profile.

4:18 Maybe this was on purpose.

4:19 Looks can be this evening so that dudes are

4:22 like [laughter] and then you know what I'm saying?

4:24 It's like an opening.

4:25 I don't know if women need help getting [laughter] men from

4:30 men's [clears throat] attention on

4:32 I'm just saying maybe she's quirky or something.

4:33 You know what I mean?

4:34 And she's like it's like a joke cuz

4:35 if she really thinks that's how you spell that.

4:38 What?

4:38 $150 a lip tickle machine.

4:41 Oh, an elliptical.

4:43 Oh my god.

4:45 Elliptickle machine.

4:46 You want to go to the gym?

4:47 Hit the lip tickle.

4:48 [laughter] You go down there.

4:51 Dude, I don't know what it is about the elliptical.

4:52 There's an old woman in my building that lo she's always on it.

4:55 Like

4:56 those don't work, right?

4:57 I mean, I think it does.

4:58 Like it it is a decent workout, but for whatever reason,

5:01 there's an old woman in my building and when she does it, she sways, dude.

5:05 Like a boat on rocky waters.

5:07 She goes, I feel like people overcompensate on that thing.

5:11 What do you mean they overcompensate?

5:12 Like they they go so hard on them

5:15 because they know it's the worst machine that puts

5:18 in the least amount of effort at the gym.

5:20 All I know is that every time I go into the gym,

5:22 this old woman is on the elliptical rocking the[ __] out of it.

5:25 She is at sea[ __] deadliest cats

5:28 just[ __] rocking back and f elliptical machine.

5:33 I mean, I would have bought it for the 150 just for that.

5:35 That's a great sign.

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8:18 What the[ __] is this?

8:19 Why is bro in hamcuffs?

8:21 [laughter] handcuffs.

8:26 What did bro do?

8:27 Why you handcuffing him?

8:29 First of all, also let's get this out of the way

8:31 before we get into the spelling and how that's funny or whatever.

8:34 Why do handcuffs exist in that size?

8:39 What's going on?

8:39 Who's that for?

8:41 That is a kitten and there's handcuffs on it.

8:44 What the[ __] is that?

8:45 This feels like jail.

8:47 Yeah.

8:47 Don't Don't make this dark.

8:48 You don't.

8:48 But I'm just like I mean you're handcuffing a cat.

8:51 What's going on?

8:52 You know what I mean?

8:53 You're handcuffing it.

8:54 Not milk unless you get cat milk.

8:57 The real human stuff will give her a dire rear.

9:01 Honestly, this is not technically wrong cuz your rear will be in dire trouble.

9:07 You know what I mean?

9:08 Also, what is this even a comment under?

9:10 Not milk unless you get cat milk.

9:12 I assume like feeding [snorts] milk to a cat or an animal.

9:16 Someone's on Reddit like, "Can I feed a cat milk?" And it's like,

9:19 "Wait, does cat milk exist?" I have no[ __] idea, dude.

9:22 I mean, they must they must create milk.

9:24 I mean, I've seen cats like feed on their mother tits.

9:27 That's not how I wanted to say that.

9:28 I thought that they just drink warm milk.

9:30 Like, if I found a stray cat, I'd be like, "Well,

9:32 I'm going to warm up this like almond milk and let it go crazy." Almond milk?

9:36 I I mean, I live in Brooklyn.

9:37 [laughter] No, like, you know, whole milk or something.

9:40 I don't know.

9:40 But, can you feed a cow's milk to a cat?

9:43 Bro, we're getting crazy now.

9:44 That's what I That's what this conversation's about.

9:46 Okay.

9:46 She's going to have a diarrhea.

9:47 You're goddamn right.

9:48 This is kind of a crazy question.

9:49 I never even like thought about this cuz I never grew up around cats.

9:52 I didn't really think cats could get diarrhea, but now this makes sense.

9:55 Do all animals get diarrhea?

9:56 I think all animals can get diarrhea.

9:58 Does a dolphin poop?

9:59 Are you googling that?

10:00 THEY DEFINITELY POOP.

10:01 [screaming]

10:01 OH, GREG'S PULLING UP A PICTURE OF of a of a dolphin[ __] like Gatorade yellow.

10:08 Dude, that is gross.

10:09 All right, we've we've veered off the path too much.

10:12 I don't need to see all this dolphin poop.

10:13 I'm never going to the water again.

10:15 What even is this?

10:16 Can we zoom in a little bit?

10:18 Frank incest.

10:19 Okay, that's supposed to say frankincense, which, you know,

10:22 to be fair, no idea what that is.

10:25 I know it's not spelled that way,

10:26 and you should, too, because those are two different words.

10:29 Okay, Frank and incest.

10:31 You know that's not what it is.

10:32 All right.

10:33 What is the other ones?

10:34 Peppermint, lemongrass, geranium.

10:37 What is this?

10:38 Dust.

10:39 Like a spice.

10:40 Spices.

10:41 Spices.

10:41 Spices.

10:42 Spices.

10:42 Yeah,

10:43 Franken insist.

10:44 Disgusting.

10:45 Absolutely disgusting.

10:46 Especially because I know Frank and his whole family.

10:48 Gross.

10:49 That's gross.

10:50 Chicken permission.

10:51 Oh, this is a throwback.

10:52 I've done this in an older video before.

10:54 Chicken permission.

10:54 I see that we're still going strong.

10:56 One thing I do want to say is that I'm a big fan of chicken parm.

10:59 This is the most disgusting one I've ever[ __] seen.

11:01 Okay, this is bottom of the barrel chicken parm.

11:03 If you sit down at a restaurant and they serve

11:05 you that, throw the plate and walk the[ __] out.

11:08 I don't even know.

11:09 Is what's supposed to be on that?

11:11 Because that's not what basil looks like.

11:13 Like what is that?

11:14 Is that like shredded lettuce?

11:16 Like what is that?

11:17 That is a disgusting chicken parm.

11:20 And that's coming from an Italian.

11:21 People who eat dogs are disgusting.

11:23 [laughter] Um yeah, disgusting is the word you're looking for.

11:29 Um but maybe not.

11:30 Maybe maybe you are seeing a gaggle of men

11:34 eating dogs and they are chatting it up.

11:37 But probably not.

11:38 Probably not.

11:39 I was trying to live by curiously through you.

11:42 [laughter] That's so good.

11:45 I'm living by curiously through you.

11:48 Which I guess you could do if like you're a straight guy and you're like

11:52 you know this girl who's like hooking up with uh who's a hot dude like

11:56 Chris Pine.

11:58 Chris.

12:00 So if you know a girl who's hooking up with Chris Pine and you're like,

12:03 "Oh, that's dope." I'm not gay, so I wouldn't do that.

12:06 But I'm going to live by curiously through you.

12:09 Tell me how it was.

12:10 You know, like that's when you're asking

12:12 a woman friend about her sexual relations with men,

12:16 you're living by curiously through in that moment.

12:19 It doesn't mean you're by by or or curious.

12:22 You're just Well, you're curious.

12:24 You're just not.

12:24 It's a temporary uh you know what I mean?

12:27 Please ejaculate.

12:28 This hurricane is serious.

12:30 If you were in the area, leave.

12:31 Hurry up and ejaculate.

12:33 The hurricane is so serious.

12:34 Get that nut off and get the hell out of there.

12:36 That's basically what they're saying.

12:38 Please, please, for the love of God, ejaculate.

12:40 You can't get sucked up into the the hurricane without ejaculating.

12:44 Be for real.

12:45 What are y'all doing in this situation?

12:46 I have a friend who sends me stuff like this and it pisses me off.

12:50 [laughter] Like a like an AI photo of like, what even is that?

12:55 Like a some animal about to eat Earth.

12:58 And it's like, what do you think I'm going to do?

13:00 Like I've had friends be like, "Yo,

13:01 if a[ __] giant wave came over uh the buildings in Manhattan,

13:06 like what are you going to do?" What do you think I'm gonna say?

13:08 Ejaculate.

13:09 Obvious.

13:09 Yeah.

13:09 What?

13:09 Yeah.

13:10 I'm going to ejaculate.

13:11 What do you think?

13:11 I'm going to pull out a jetpack that I invented out of my closet and fly away.

13:15 I'm dead.

13:16 Oh, and see this is [laughter] this is exactly the kind of answer I would give.

13:20 I will shoot myself before that stupid thing engulfs the earth.

13:25 Oh my god.

13:26 Not engulfs.

13:28 Engulfs.

13:29 This thing is going to bite into the earth and then hit a birdie.

13:31 We love it at our house.

13:32 Put a splash of wash your sister sauce

13:35 in that gravy and give it a little bit more flavor.

13:38 Wash your sister sauce.

13:40 That just sounds disgusting.

13:42 I think that has a different meaning in certain parts of Alabama.

13:45 [laughter] Yeah.

13:46 I mean, another just ridiculously named thing.

13:49 Um, not a big fan of that at all.

13:51 It's up there with orurves.

13:53 I think those we should make a petition to change, you know?

13:56 Let's let's like fix the spelling on these things.

13:58 not fix.

13:59 They can exist.

14:00 Let's just get another one.

14:01 Let's get an easier one cuz no one knows how to pronounce that.

14:04 Okay, they got people saying wash your sister sauce.

14:06 That's clearly wrong.

14:07 Okay, well there you have it folks.

14:10 Um Chris Pine, washing your sister and uh dolphins taking a[ __] in the ocean.

14:16 You get everything in this type of video.

14:18 But don't forget to subscribe and we will see you next