Office PRANKS to Watch When You're Bored

0:00 Pam.

0:05 Okay, now I've tried everything.

0:06 Did you prank Dwight?

0:09 No.

0:08 Well, you like that?

0:10 Yeah, it's not as fun if I'm not blowing

0:11 off work.

0:12 I love you, but I'm kind of busy, so I

0:14 need you to figure this one out on your

0:15 own.

0:19 Ooh, nice wasting time.

0:20 Here we go.

0:21 Hey, back off.

0:22 It's solitire.

0:24 Hey, kid.

0:25 Here you're looking for work.

0:27 Talk to me.

0:28 How far can you reach those

0:29 lovely long arms ears?

0:32 Nah, put them down.

0:33 How long can you

0:34 hold that pretty little breath of yours?

0:40 Good.

0:40 Hey, Jim.

0:41 Are you distracting these

0:42 people?

0:43 We're working.

0:45 The moment Darle put the cupcake in her

0:47 mouth, her daddy pulled her aside and

0:48 said, "You're too fat.

0:50 No one's going to

0:50 like you if you're too fat."

0:55 Next time I saw David Geffin was at the

0:57 Buffalo Club.

0:58 I love you.

0:59 You gay bastard.

1:00 I said, "You gay bastard." I

1:04 gay gay

1:14 Gabe Lewis.

1:16 Now listen here, Gabe.

1:17 You're too fat.

1:18 No one's going to like you if you're too

1:19 fat.

1:20 I made some changes to my book.

1:22 See if you like them.

1:25 What?

1:24 Now I love reading and I hate being

1:26 interrupted.

1:27 Shut up and listen, you gay

1:28 bastard.

1:29 Chapter one.

1:30 I was born not

1:32 into luxury nor poverty, but into

1:34 adversity.

1:35 And for that, I thank the

1:36 Lord.

1:36 My father was a man.

1:38 That's all we can know.

1:39 After I learned to ride a

1:40 bike, there was no stopping me.

1:42 I would ride up Magnolia Street and down Aelia

1:44 Lane, which would later become my paper.

1:46 All right.

1:46 Can I give I just wanted to

1:48 say thanks again because I really think

1:49 I made good use of my debt.

1:50 wherever I wanted.

1:52 I have always been a fighter.

1:54 Last week, I may have gone too far.

1:57 I'll explain it quickly.

1:58 Basically, I found out where he gets his clothes dry clean,

2:00 custom ordered the same suit made with

2:02 tear away velcro, and

2:04 you can fill in the rest.

2:09 [laughter]

2:10 DAMN IT, JIM.

2:12 NOW HE'S trying to get me to bring my

2:13 children in to work.

2:16 I think it's fair to be cautious.

2:18 I expect to do very well tonight.

2:20 I have an acute ability to read people.

2:23 Jim, for instance, has a huge tell.

2:26 When he gets a good hand, he coughs.

2:30 [cough] Uh, I will raise.

2:40 Thanks.

2:42 It's the weirdest thing.

2:43 Every time I cough, he folds.

2:56 He looks [music] happy.

2:59 Yep.

3:00 Well, well, well.

3:01 H boss for what

3:05 was it?

3:05 Oh, 4 and 1/2 hours.

3:08 New record.

3:10 Low.

3:11 Previous record, Henry Rost.

3:13 Boss for 9 years, 4 months.

3:15 And he only left

3:16 because he had family matters to attend

3:18 to and he what?

3:26 Michael, what are you doing, idiot?

3:28 Michael's stupid scavenger hunt.

3:30 Scavenger hunt.

3:31 Here, I can solve it.

3:32 Give it.

3:33 The treasure you seek is in the

3:35 parking lot under the first president,

3:39 Lincoln.

3:39 [sighs]

3:40 The prankster is getting pranked.

3:42 Haha.

3:43 It involves you, too.

3:45 The lead you're in.

3:47 You wrote down those fake diseases,

3:48 didn't you?

3:49 No.

3:49 Was that the hard way?

3:50 I know you did.

3:51 Then why are you wasting everybody

3:52 else's time?

3:53 Well,

3:54 because I want to know who wrote those

3:56 diseases down.

4:00 I want you to write something down.

4:01 Okay.

4:02 I, Jim Halpert, committed healthc care

4:05 fraudulence.

4:07 Wait one second cuz that sounds really

4:08 good.

4:09 Is jackass one word or two?

4:20 What is this?

4:22 Happy holidays, Dwight.

4:23 But do not open

4:24 it till Christmas.

4:25 You're so pathetic.

4:26 How long did this

4:27 take you?

4:27 3 hours?

4:28 5 minutes, actually.

4:29 I am a black belt

4:30 in gift wrapping.

4:31 Yeah, no such thing.

4:32 They don't give out

4:33 black belts for things that are stupid.

4:36 Well, I hope it was worth it cuz I'm

4:38 going to take it apart in about 5

4:39 minutes.

4:40 I think it'll take you a little bit

4:41 longer than that.

4:42 Really?

4:43 If I can skin

4:43 a mule deer in less than 10 minutes, I

4:46 ought to be able to cut my

4:53 Michael.

4:52 For the past few months, I've been

4:54 sending Dwight letters from the CIA.

5:01 Are you serious?

5:02 They're considering him for a top secret

5:03 mission.

5:05 There's his application.

5:06 Oh, and this is

5:07 where I made him list every secret he

5:09 promised he'd never ever tell.

5:13 Last year, my boss, Michael Scott, took

5:15 a day off cuz he said he had pneumonia.

5:17 But really, he was leaving early to go

5:18 to Magic Camp.

5:22 Wow.

5:22 So, here's the gift.

5:23 You get to decide

5:24 what his top secret mission is.

5:27 Sorry I didn't grab it.

5:28 Oh, you know what?

5:30 Sorry.

5:30 I forgot to tell you.

5:32 I intercepted a transmission

5:33 earlier and it seems that the CIA is

5:35 going to need DIY down in their

5:37 headquarters at Langley for training and

5:39 an ice cream social with the other

5:40 agents.

5:44 We should get him a bus ticket to make

5:46 his trip easier.

5:47 Oh, no.

5:48 That would be very good.

5:51 It cost $75.

5:55 Well, maybe the CIA could send a

5:57 helicopter.

6:11 You have been compromised.

6:13 Abort mission.

6:14 Destroy phone.

6:16 Destroy phone.

6:29 What's this?

6:33 Looks like a red wire.

6:35 Oh,

6:38 that wasn't here before.

6:40 It's a computer, do I?

6:41 I mean, computers have wires.

6:43 Yours doesn't,

6:45 doesn't it?

6:48 No, it's going in a different direction than

6:50 the other wires.

6:51 Dwight,

6:52 I'm really busy.

6:52 I can't talk about this

6:53 anymore.

7:10 Why?

7:12 Just shut up.

7:29 I got 500 ft of red wire at a flea

7:31 market up by Dmore High School.

7:34 20 bucks for the whole spool.

7:36 Crazy.

7:36 What a deal.

7:43 Oh, he'll be fine.

7:44 I made it up there.

7:46 It's kind of blurry.

7:52 That's better.

7:56 Last week, I was in a drugstore and I

7:58 saw these glasses.

7:59 Uh, $4 and it only cost me $7 to recreate the

8:03 rest of the ensemble.

8:04 And that's a grand

8:05 total of $11.

8:10 Question.

8:10 What kind of bear is best?

8:13 That's a ridiculous question.

8:15 False.

8:15 Black bear.

8:16 Well, that's debatable.

8:18 There are basically two schools of thought.

8:20 Fact.

8:20 Bears eat beats.

8:23 Bears.

8:23 Beats.

8:24 Battlestar Galactica.

8:26 Bears do not.

8:27 What is going on?

8:29 What are you doing?

8:30 You know what?

8:30 Imitation is the most

8:31 sincere form of flattery.

8:32 So, I thank you.

8:35 Identity theft is not a joke, Jim.

8:38 Millions of families suffer every year.

8:43 Michael.

8:42 Oh, that's funny.

8:44 Michael.

8:45 Uh, yeah.

8:45 Yeah, I just got my

8:46 replacement credit card.

8:49 Do you want the number?

8:50 Oh, it's uh 4793

8:53 0032 3313.

8:58 The security code is 927.

9:02 Okay, great.

9:03 Thank you very much.

9:04 Bye.

9:09 So, Dwight did take the bait.

9:12 Use my credit card numbers to send a

9:14 $200 bouquet of flowers

9:18 to my wife from me.

9:21 [laughter] Boom.

9:27 Game of skill.

9:28 It is a game of chance.

9:30 I could always kind of win over that.

9:32 Oh, really?

9:33 Mhm.

9:35 Yeah.

9:34 How would you do that?

9:36 Mind control.

9:38 You can't be serious.

9:41 Are you serious?

9:43 Ever since I was a little kid, like

9:45 eight or nine, I could sort of control

9:48 things with my mind.

9:49 I don't believe you.

9:50 Continue.

9:52 It was just little things, you know,

9:53 like I could make something shake or I

9:54 could make a marble fall off the

9:56 counter, you know, just little things.

10:00 That's ridiculous.

10:01 You know what?

10:02 Uh, why don't you move

10:04 that coat rack?

10:06 Excuse me, everyone.

10:07 Attention in the office, please.

10:09 Jim is about to prove his telekinetic powers

10:12 and he needs absolute silence.

10:15 Go ahead.

10:16 Okay, I'll try.

10:46 Oh my god.

10:47 What is dwi diabetes?

10:48 It's awful.

10:49 The problem, Jim,

10:51 Mhm.

10:51 is that people who are really suffering

10:53 from a medical condition won't receive

10:55 the care they need because someone in

10:58 this office is coming up with all this

11:00 ridiculous stuff.

11:03 Count Choulitis

11:05 sounds tough.

11:06 Why did you write that down, Jim?

11:08 Is it because you know I love Count

11:09 Choula?

11:10 Do you?

11:12 I think you need to confess

11:14 the fact.

11:16 Yep.

11:15 What are you doing?

11:17 What?

11:17 Those are my keys.

11:18 Good luck.

11:21 What?

11:19 Jim.

11:20 Damn it.

11:21 NO.

11:22 JIM, LET ME OUT.

11:23 JIM, let

11:26 the light gray a green.

11:31 Everyone has called me Dwayne.

11:32 all day.

11:33 I think Jim Halpert paid them to.

11:37 Yes.

11:38 Five bucks each and it was totally

11:40 worth it.

11:40 I found Dwight's wallet in the

11:42 parking lot.

11:43 Oh my god.

11:44 What are we going to do?

11:45 I don't know.

11:45 I don't know.

11:45 I don't know what the best play is.

11:47 Uh, do we tear

11:48 everything up or do we

11:52 buy a horse on the internet?

11:53 I mean, I don't know what to do.

11:54 What do you think?

11:55 I know.

11:56 I I know what to do.

11:57 Okay.

11:57 What?

11:58 Okay.

11:58 Put everything back exactly how

11:59 you found it.

12:01 Okay.

12:01 Hey, Dwight.

12:02 Jim and I found your

12:03 wallet in the parking lot.

12:09 What did you do to it?

12:12 Nothing.

12:12 What did you do to it,

12:14 Dwight?

12:15 I swear we didn't do anything.

12:17 Nice try.

12:19 Cancel card.

12:23 Cancel card.

12:30 cancel.

12:31 Did you send Dwight on a quest for the

12:33 Holy Grail?

12:33 I

12:34 think I'm a little too busy these days

12:35 to send

12:38 Oh my god, I did send Dwight on a quest

12:41 for the Holy Grail.

12:42 The Dunder Code.

12:44 I completely forgot about that prank.

12:46 That had to be like six or seven years ago.

12:49 Stayed late every night for a month.

12:51 Had a lot more free time back then.

12:53 A light bulb.

12:55 Light.

12:55 A light bulb.

12:57 Okay.

12:58 Okay.

13:00 Invisible ink.

13:02 Whoa.

13:03 Higher than numbers go.

13:06 The ceiling above the counting.

13:08 Right down.

13:09 White.

13:11 Man, I wish I was there to see his face

13:12 when he gets to the end and finds the

13:15 fake grail.

13:21 Cidus entriti.

13:23 Seat of entrance.

13:31 What?

13:34 What?

13:33 That's a flush.

13:38 The warehouse.

13:46 There's nothing down here.

13:49 Oh,

13:48 I expected more from young Albert.

13:50 Just Just forget it.

13:53 Forget it.

14:11 [music]

14:37 down for 88 460.

14:43 Who is this?

14:49 In the original Matrix movie, seeing the

14:51 same cat twice was a glitch in the

14:52 system.

14:53 It was proof that the Matrix was

14:54 real.

14:55 Training the cat was both easier and

14:57 more boring than I thought it would be.

14:59 It basically involved putting down

15:01 little piles of treats.

15:02 Why didn't we just get two black cats?

15:08 Okay.

15:08 Turns out Glenn in the warehouse has a

15:10 twin brother that Dwight doesn't know

15:11 about, Ben.

15:16 So, we threw them in, too.

15:18 This just came for you.

15:36 Hello.

15:35 Meet me in the warehouse, but watch out

15:38 for the men in reception.

15:40 There's no man it was.

15:46 Meet me in the warehouse.

15:58 Hank, that is the name I allowed you to know

16:04 me by while I watched over you, waiting

16:07 for the time to approach.

16:09 That time has come.

16:11 And now you may know my real name.

16:14 Dorphus.

16:18 Dorphus.

16:16 I'm Morpheus's brother.

16:25 But The Matrix isn't real.

16:27 It's a trilogy of flawless, life-changing films

16:31 and an online game.

16:33 The first Matrix movie was a program written by my team

16:37 to prepare people for the truth.

16:39 But then the machines countered with their

16:41 own program to make it seem as if a

16:43 peace was achieved.

16:46 So there is no peace.

16:48 There is not.

16:49 Oh, that is terrible news.

16:50 Dwight, we need your help.

16:52 I would like you to join my underground army and help

16:55 us wage war for the freedom of all

16:59 humankind.

17:00 Hank is good on his feet,

17:02 right?

17:02 I told you he'd nail it.

17:07 If you take the blue pill, you will stay

17:09 in the matrix.

17:11 You will remember none of

17:12 this.

17:13 Life will go on as it is for you.

17:16 If you take the red pill,

17:19 I will open your eyes and you will see

17:22 just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

17:28 I'll take the blue pill.

17:31 Wait now.

17:31 The blue will keep you in the

17:34 program.

17:35 The red's the cool one.

17:36 I understand.

17:37 I'd like the blue pill,

17:38 please.

17:39 Well, maybe I didn't explain myself

17:40 clearly if you

17:41 No, you were very clear.

17:42 It's just God.

17:44 You know, I really appreciate the work

17:46 that you and your brother are doing.

17:48 Appreciate too small a word, but the

17:50 timing is terrible right now.

17:52 They just promoted me to manager.

17:54 Plus, I own this

17:55 building.

17:55 I run a very substantial farm

17:57 and I'm getting married soon to a woman

18:00 I love.

18:01 And okay, yeah, maybe that love

18:03 is just zeros and ones, but I don't want

18:06 to lose it.

18:08 No one hates machines more

18:09 than me.

18:11 But I'm happy.

18:14 I'm truly happy.

18:17 A

18:18 Are you kidding me?

18:19 I hired 30 people.

18:22 If the blue pill's not safe to swallow,

18:24 someone should tell us now.

18:31 Who are you talking to?

18:33 Dio Dinity,

18:37 where is my desk?

18:40 That is weird.

18:42 This is not funny.

18:43 This is totally unprofessional.

18:45 Okay, well, you're the one who lost the

18:46 desk.

18:47 I didn't lose my desk.

18:48 Okay, calm down.

18:49 Where was the last

18:50 place you saw?

18:51 Okay.

18:51 Who moved my desk?

18:53 I am going to tell Michael and this

18:55 entire office will be punished.

18:59 Colder.

19:03 Warmer.

19:04 Warmer.

19:05 Warmer.

19:06 Warmer.

19:06 Cold.

19:07 Cold.

19:07 Cold.

19:08 Back up.

19:10 Hot.

19:10 Red.

19:10 Hot.

19:11 Hot.

19:12 Very hot.

19:27 Dwight Trude.

19:28 Hi, Dwight.

19:29 Um, what sort of discounts

19:30 are we giving on the

19:31 20 lb white bond?

19:33 Jim, I've given you this information

19:34 like 20 times.

19:35 I know.

19:39 Hey.

19:40 Hey.

19:40 Who are you faxing so early in the

19:42 morning?

19:43 Oh, um, kind of hard to explain.

19:47 I don't have a ton of contact with this

19:49 Granton branch, but before I left, I

19:51 took a box of Dwight's stationery.

19:54 So, from time to time, I send Dwight

19:56 faxes from himself from the future.

20:02 Dwight, at 8:00 a.m.

20:04 today, someone poisons the coffee.

20:06 Do not drink the

20:07 coffee.

20:08 More instructions will follow.

20:10 Cordially, future Dwight.

20:19 [screaming]

20:20 You'll thank me later.

20:22 I guess everything's okay.

20:24 Toby, why don't you open your present?

20:25 Oh, yeah.

20:25 No, no, no, no, no, no,

20:27 no.

20:27 This Hey, hey, hey, hey.

20:29 This might not be what I think that I don't even

20:32 know is in there because there are a lot

20:33 of presents in my car and I don't know

20:35 which is which.

20:37 Suck on this.

20:41 What the hell is that,

20:42 Michael?

20:43 That's What do you mean,

20:44 Michael?

20:46 That's not even my handwriting.

20:48 HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

20:52 WHO THOUGHT IT would be hysterical to give

20:53 Toby a rock for his going away gift?

20:57 YOU DID.

20:58 NO,

20:58 you made me wrap it.

20:59 No, I thought it

20:59 was over the line and I just

21:01 Damn it.

21:03 Okay, hold on.

21:04 Hold on.

21:05 Judge is in session.

21:06 What is the problem here?

21:07 He put my stuff in jello- again.

21:10 [laughter] This is slander, Miss Black.

21:13 Slander, I say.

21:14 I dare you to produce

21:16 one credible source about this.

21:18 Well, as it happens, we have with us the

21:21 foreman of your upstate New York paper

21:22 mill, Sandre Mick.

21:24 Sandre Mick.

21:25 Good afternoon, IRIS.

21:26 IT'S A PLEASURE.

21:27 I'LL GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.

21:28 IS your paper toxic?

21:30 NO, THE PAPER'S NOT TOXIC.

21:31 THANK YOU, SANDRA.

21:32 Unless it's exposed to oxygen, then it

21:35 becomes extremely toxic.

21:36 DO NOT LISTEN to her.

21:37 This employee is obviously disgruntled.

21:39 What the heck is

21:39 going on?

21:40 The stock price is plummeting.

21:42 Are you going to get control of the

21:43 message or do I have to send in someone

21:44 who understands the need?

21:45 Get out of here, PAGE.

21:47 UH, EXCUSE ME, MR.

21:47 DROID.

21:48 Who are you talking to?

21:49 Uh, no one.

21:51 Six.

21:52 No, that is unacceptable.

21:53 Okay, Jim, you are the number two in this office.

21:55 You need to step up and show some

21:56 leadership.

21:58 I'm sorry.

21:59 What did you say?

22:00 So weird.

22:02 What?

22:02 What's so weird?

22:03 The bat.

22:04 I mean, I know I felt it bite

22:05 me, but look, there's no mark.

22:08 I feel so tingly,

22:12 so strangely powerful.

22:15 But Jim, this garlic bread is cold.

22:20 What?

22:23 No, it burned me.

22:23 I bizarre.

22:28 Hey, Jim.

22:28 Here's the aspirin you wanted.

22:30 Thank God.

22:31 There's such a headache from

22:32 that glare.

22:33 What glare?

22:35 The glare off Angela's

22:36 crucifix.

22:37 It's blinding.

22:40 I don't have a lot of experience with

22:41 vampires, but I have hunted werewolves.

22:44 I shot one once, but by the time I got

22:46 to it, it had turned back into my

22:49 neighbor's dog.

22:59 So, you're cool to just wait here for animal

23:02 control?

23:04 Animal control.

23:05 I've been controlling animals since I was six.

23:08 Cool.

23:09 Okay, I'm going to go home and lie

23:12 down.

23:14 Draw the shades.

23:15 There's just so much

23:16 sun in here.

23:23 Bye, Dwight.

23:28 Goodbye, Jim.

23:31 And good luck.

23:36 Jim is on a path now.

23:39 An eternal journey.

23:58 As a manager, I felt I couldn't do that.

24:01 Um, please don't make it a habit.

24:04 I'm afraid I'm going to

24:14 stop it.

24:15 Stop what?

24:16 You're talking about me and Morse code.

24:18 You know what?

24:18 Jokes's on you cuz I know

24:19 Morse code.

24:20 Ha.

24:21 Yeah, that's what we're doing.

24:23 In our very limited free time and with our very

24:25 limited budget, we went and got a nanny.

24:27 And then we went out and took a class on

24:29 a very outmoded and very unnecessary

24:31 form of communication just so we could

24:32 talk about you in front of you.

24:35 Yep.

24:35 That's exactly what we did.

24:37 It all started when Dwight was tapping

24:38 his foot against the leg of his desk.

24:41 When I asked him to stop, he said, "I

24:43 will when you lose the baby weight."

24:45 Very well.

24:46 I must have imagined it.

24:47 I apologize.

24:57 Detonator.

24:58 Jim, are you clicking a detonator?

25:01 It's a pin.

25:03 He said there's a detonator in here.

25:04 Oh,

25:05 okay.

25:05 I got it.

25:06 That is totally not

25:09 [cough]

25:13 true.

25:13 You all right?

25:15 Yep.

25:14 Wait, he he just coughed not in Morse

25:16 code.

25:16 So he said that's not not true.

25:18 That's a double negative.

25:19 The only Morse code I know is Jay Morse

25:21 code.

25:21 ABF.

25:22 Always be funny.

25:23 Michael, come on.

25:24 Get back to work, Dwight.

25:25 Please.

25:27 Hey, tap away.

25:46 Why do you keep reading that garden

25:47 party book?

25:48 I mean, how hard are finger

25:49 sandwiches and tea?

25:50 There's so much more

25:51 to it than that.

25:52 I've been wanting Shroo

25:53 Farms to break into the high-end event

25:55 hosting industry for some time, and this

25:57 party is a great opportunity.

25:59 Plus, I've got a secret weapon.

26:02 Only one copy in the world, and some

26:05 sucker on the internet sold it to me for

26:07 $2.

26:10 [laughter] I'm actually really disappointed in how

26:12 poorly my book is doing.

26:14 I've only sold one copy.