Homeless Shawn & A Dead Body | Psych

0:00 Come on, man.

0:00 Just let me stay with you.

0:02 Be like old times, you know?

0:04 Put somebody's finger in warm water while they're

0:06 sleeping or rub toothpaste all over their arms.

0:09 First of all, Shawn, we're not in our late 20s anymore.

0:12 And secondly, as much as my heart goes out to you,

0:14 wait till I max out staying with me until the house gets fumigated.

0:16 Oh, well, so you just get to play pretend family with an Indian princess

0:19 while I'm stuck living on the streets like Jamie Fox with an old cello?

0:23 Yes.

0:24 Hey.

0:25 Hey, what are you doing here?

0:26 Oh, just donating some stuff to the police league auction.

0:29 What's going on?

0:30 Shawn needs a place to stay.

0:31 Well, you know, my door is always open.

0:33 Exactly.

0:34 But I'm never setting foot in there again.

0:36 Ever since I saw you and my poor unsuspecting mother making love.

0:40 I died 10% inside.

0:43 Okay?

0:44 Serious.

0:44 I can't feel my armpits anymore.

0:46 Look at this.

0:46 You see this?

0:47 Are you seeing this?

0:48 I used to be ticklish under there.

0:50 All right.

0:51 Fine.

0:54 Is this Roommate needed at palatial beach front property.

1:01 With unbelievably low rent.

1:03 What are you kidding me?

1:05 Wow.

1:07 [snorts] You got the wood, man?

1:11 Woody?

1:13 Hang up right now, Shawn.

1:14 Hang up right now.

1:15 Uh hey, buddy.

1:16 Don't do it, Shawn.

1:17 Looking for a roommate out here.

1:19 Don't lie to me now.

1:19 Is this really a waterfront?

1:21 Oh, yeah.

1:22 Oh, it's [music] it's gorgeous.

1:24 I got a 20,000 square foot backyard and it is sprawling with beach bunnies.

1:29 Like an episode of Baywatch.

1:30 That sounds beautiful and exactly what I need.

1:33 Count me in.

1:34 I wouldn't do that.

1:34 I'll see you in paradise, buddy.

1:36 You got it.

1:38 Call me David Chokachi.

1:39 No, I'm living in a beach house.

1:40 With a middle-aged coroner.

1:41 In a beach house.

1:43 middle-aged coroner.

1:44 In a with a and with a Chokachi.

1:46 Coroner.

1:46 I'm not doing this with you right now, man.

1:48 Fine.

1:52 Move your ride, Phil.

1:53 I got to get this baby down to the beach ASAP.

2:13 Hey, Jules.

2:15 Hey.

2:16 Jules.

2:20 Tough luck on the breakup there, Spencer.

2:22 But on a positive note, you won me 300 bucks.

2:25 I bet Dobson you two wouldn't last.

2:27 Oh, by the way, there's a cool gene if we if start hiring for the other team.

2:31 Think about it.

2:33 The nerve of that guy.

2:35 So, what's the plan?

2:36 Plan is to win Jules back.

2:38 Obviously.

2:43 Good luck, Shawn.

2:45 Shawn, it's not going to work.

2:46 Oh, come on, Jules.

2:47 Just just tell me I'm better company than Kimberly.

2:50 She's like Buffalo Bill with a red boner hair.

2:52 Yeah, well, Kimberly it never called me back thanks to your stories about Cathy,

2:56 the vindictive poltergeist.

2:59 It's fair.

3:00 I lied a little bit.

3:01 So, I'm going with this girl, Laura.

3:02 Laura?

3:03 Mhm.

3:04 That's great.

3:05 I'm helping her move in later.

3:07 That's awesome.

3:09 [snorts]

3:14 Jules.

3:15 First, I would like to sincerely apologize for everything I said about Kimberly.

3:19 Sincerely.

3:20 And second, I know why she didn't get back to you.

3:39 [music] [music] [music] Hey, roomie.

4:01 Where are my sneakers?

4:03 No.

4:04 Well, one of them.

4:05 It's a it's a new look I'm going for.

4:06 I call it the snoafer.

4:09 Snoafer?

4:09 Yeah.

4:10 Business on the left, party on the right.

4:13 It's like a footwear mullet.

4:15 I'd call it crazy.

4:16 Classy.

4:17 You have uh You have an extra room, don't you?

4:20 Yeah, it's being painted.

4:22 And Mom and Althea are in the bomb shelter.

4:23 Oh, that reminds me,

4:24 the Airstream is currently experiencing some plumbing issues.

4:27 So, for the next 2 weeks, if it's yellow, let it mellow.

4:31 And if it's brown, you're going to want to scoop it out,

4:34 bag it, and dispose of it somewhere else.

4:36 No.

4:37 No, Gus, seriously, help me.

4:38 I can't scoop my own poop.

4:39 I told you that I need you.

4:40 Uh let me stay in the house.

4:41 Let me stay in Rachel's house.

4:42 Uh you in a fumigation tent.

4:44 Don't be ridiculous, Shawn.

4:44 I'm not being ridiculous.

4:45 You are.

4:46 Now, as for this one,

4:48 uh cause of death was acute blunt force trauma to the head.

4:52 The lack of blood at the crime scene would

4:54 indicate that she was murdered elsewhere and then moved,

4:56 which would also explain why she had no ID on her.

5:00 Hey, Althea, I thought you were taking a personal day.

5:02 Well, this was [music] a potential roommate of mine,

5:05 so I thought I'd come down and help any way I can.

5:07 A name would be great.

5:09 Kimberly.

5:12 Did she get a last name?

5:13 No, I didn't.

5:14 Well, that's some pretty serious Herman Cain style vetting there, Jules.

5:17 It was a quick meet to see if we clicked.

5:19 I was going to check her background after she brought back the application.

5:22 Does she have a phone number?

5:23 No.

5:24 Uh just an email address, but it was a dead end.

5:26 What can you give us?

5:27 Well, she was allergic to cats.

5:30 She liked bluegrass.

5:31 Whoa.

5:31 She liked bluegrass?

5:33 I think we can probably just forego the DNA testing, don't you guys?

5:37 Come on, Jules.

5:38 I get it.

5:39 You're feeling reckless.

5:41 Maybe a little bit crazy.

5:42 But don't you think it would be nice if there was someone hanging

5:46 around the house who could remind you to be a [music] little more cautious?

5:49 Maybe someone man-like.

5:50 With kind hair soft full lips.

5:55 I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I can take care of myself.

6:00 Though I should do a better job of figuring out who people really are.

6:08 Let me know what I can do.

6:17 You can take care of me, Shawn.

6:24 Look [music] at this space.

6:26 It's enormous.

6:27 Aw, thank you.

6:29 That's so sweet.

6:30 By the way, I love that locket.

6:32 It's like something out of an Emily Bronte novel.

6:35 Thanks.

6:35 It was um my great-grandmother's.

6:39 This is um This is me and my mom.

6:43 I haven't seen her in a really long time, so this is how I keep her close.

6:49 I'm sorry.

6:51 Such a crier.

6:52 No, no, it's fine.

6:53 I've been doing my share of that lately as well.

6:55 Hey, we should go to Chiller's tonight.

6:57 You know, be each other's wing woman if the mood strikes.

7:00 I would love to do that, but I just got out of a complicated relationship,

7:03 so I'm not really into meeting people.

7:05 I was in a serious relationship once and it was a nightmare.

7:10 So, what happened with your guy?

7:12 Let's just say Shawn had some issues with the [music] truth.

7:16 Hey, ladies.

7:17 Oh my god.

7:18 Uh Shawn, you can't just show up here unannounced.

7:22 I thought I had visitation rights with my Fruit Loops.

7:24 I mean, our Fruit Loops.

7:27 Look at them.

7:28 Grow up so fast.

7:30 I thought you were ex.

7:32 You know what?

7:32 I think I will have a drink with you tonight.

7:34 Mhm.

7:34 At Chiller's?

7:35 Yep.

7:35 Chiller's?

7:36 You know that place ends with a Z, not an S, right?

7:38 I've also heard that they make their potato skins with human skin.

7:42 Ew.

7:44 You must be Laura.

7:45 Hi.

7:46 And it's so nice to meet you.

7:49 Likewise.

7:51 Uh I'm sensing you used to be a hipster

7:54 or a hippie or maybe a little bit of both.

7:57 That [laughter] is so awesome that you know that.

7:59 Yeah, so hot.

8:00 I mean, it's like you're psychic or something.

8:02 Or something.

8:06 Well, I have a ton of errands, so Jay, I will see you tonight at Chiller's.

8:11 Bye.

8:13 I can't believe I get to live here.

8:15 Even I'm jealous of me.

8:19 [laughter] Vivian.

8:19 Even I'm jealous of me?

8:22 Schizoid.

8:25 [laughter] Nice dude.

8:25 Clearly, she's not going to work out.

8:27 Laura is great and you know it.

8:28 You just came by here to find something wrong with her.

8:30 And oh my god, we must talk about boundaries.

8:34 Jules, I'm here to talk about the case.

8:36 Scout's honor.

8:37 The bluegrass lead hasn't quite paired as much fruit as I'd hoped.

8:42 So, can you remember her saying anything else?

8:44 Yes, that she liked Bikram Yoga and I'm having Lassiter check it out.

8:47 How dare you be sitting on such an important piece of information?

8:51 What are you going to do?

8:51 You're going to go visit every yoga studio in town?

8:54 No.

8:55 Because there's only one.

9:03 What do you think of Jules' roommate?

9:04 She's weird.

9:05 And I also think she has the hots for me.

9:07 You do realize you're the last person on Earth who

9:09 says the hots with zero irony in your voice, right?

9:12 Okay, fine.

9:12 She has the hubba hubbas for me.

9:14 All right, class is starting, everybody.

9:16 Please put your stuff into your lockers.

9:18 Excuse us.

9:19 Uh we'd like to ask you a few questions about one of your students.

9:21 I'm about to teach class.

9:23 How about after?

9:23 I've got back-to-back classes all day.

9:25 Sorry.

9:26 Why don't you try me tomorrow?

9:29 You know we have to.

9:31 Yes.

9:31 No.

9:31 How else would No, no, no.

9:33 Yes, yes, [snorts] yes.

9:34 No.

9:36 [music and singing] [music]