The strange science of your ever-changing identity

0:00 Knowing that our perception is an illusion, our sense of self is illusion.

0:03 All of it is illusion in the sense that it's a construct of our brain,

0:07 our brain is creating this for us.

0:09 And given that, that's an opportunity because we can

0:11 have some control over how our brain perceives the world,

0:15 and that's where the power lies.

0:31 Our perceptions are basically formed from a combination of what we expect,

0:36 so that's coming internally from our past experiences.

0:39 And then what's coming into our brain externally.

0:43 And when those two things meet,

0:45 it creates this perception, which is what we actually experience.

0:49 Your inner voice is your ability to silently

0:52 use language to reflect on your life.

0:54 Provides us with a survival advantage.

0:57 It’s an incredible problem-solving device.

1:01 I realized that we have this ability

1:04 to change our trajectory and change our thoughts.

1:07 And we can expand the box that we're in.

1:10 We can expand our perception of who we are in the world.

1:18 Our mind are shaped by our prior experience.

1:21 So as these neurons start forming connections,

1:24 and as you go through life and have experiences, it's a pruning process.

1:29 So it's actually strengthening the important connections and allowing

1:34 the other unimportant connections to kind of wither away.

1:37 And then you start to develop a more defined structure.

1:42 There's this constant interplay between things

1:44 that our brain processes unconsciously that informs our behavior.

1:48 So what you're conscious of at any moment can

1:50 affect what you perceive and what you remember as well.

1:54 So if you're in a negative headspace,

1:56 you're going to start perceiving more negative things in your environment.

1:59 If you're in a positive headspace,

2:01 you're going to perceive more positive things,

2:02 even though the environment may be exactly the same.

2:05 So being mindful is your brain controlling what you're attending to and also

2:11 controlling what you're taking in, and how you're reacting to the world.

2:16 The more you can understand and also knowing

2:18 that you live within a certain kind of perceptual box,

2:22 can create potentially the impetus for you to develop or try to work

2:27 on developing more empathy for others who

2:28 are living inside their own perception boxes.

2:31 We're all a work in progress until our very last breath,

2:34 and there's always room for change.

2:37 Nothing is set in stone.

2:43 Many of us turn our attention inward

2:45 to come up with some narrative that explains

2:49 our experiences in ways that give shape

2:52 to our understanding of who we are, our identity.

2:56 Our inner voice is part of what we call our “verbal working memory system”.

3:01 Our inner voice also lets us simulate and plan, control ourselves,

3:06 and then finally, the inner voice helps us storify our lives.

3:12 Chatter refers to the dark side of the inner voice.

3:15 When we turn our attention inward to make sense

3:18 of our problems we don’t end up finding solutions,

3:21 we end up ruminating, worrying, catastrophising.

3:26 We get stuck in a negative cycle

3:28 that takes this remarkable tool that we possess,

3:31 this inner voice, and it turns it into a curse rather than a blessing.

3:36 The good news is there is a science-based toolkit

3:40 that you can use to regain control of your inner voice.

3:45 Rituals are one way to do that.

3:47 By engaging the same sequence of behaviors every time, the same way,

3:51 that’s giving you a sense of order and control

3:54 that can feel really good when you’re mired in chatter.

3:58 The real challenge is to figure out what are

4:01 the unique combinations of tools that work best for you,

4:04 given the unique kinds of chatter that you’re experiencing.

4:13 So the stories that we tell ourselves,

4:15 about ourselves have been shaped by our environment, our upbringing.

4:20 We have something called observational knowledge,

4:22 and that means that we learn about how the world

4:25 is by observing those around us in our formative years.

4:29 But observational knowledge has a flip side.

4:32 Sometimes we observe our peers or parents, being highly critical of themselves,

4:37 and so we learn to do that as well.

4:40 Or perhaps your parents will exacerbate a particular narrative

4:45 and then that boxes us into this kind of fixed

4:48 mindset in our adult life where we don't want

4:51 to step outside the realms of what's been defined for us.

4:55 So as humans, we do have a negativity bias,

4:59 so we perceive negative information more greatly than positive.

5:04 And the negativity bias can really highlight

5:08 those things that we say to ourselves, those negative stories.

5:12 If left unchecked, it will basically form a template to how you see the world.

5:17 So you will carry that into every aspect of your life,

5:21 and your brain will perceive that as normal.

5:25 So whilst our thoughts are extremely powerful,

5:27 we can use that to our advantage to really

5:30 pull out the positive narratives that we want for ourselves.

5:34 By pulling out the small wins,

5:36 it will start to shine a light on a different outcome,

5:40 not the one that you have usually perpetuated.

5:43 And it's not until you bring conscious attention

5:45 to it that you can start to make a change,

5:47 because the brain is just doing what it knows best.

5:50 It's going to optimize energy for other

5:53 things and just repeat what has been ingrained.

5:56 So when we break those automatic patterns,

5:59 we take control of that steering wheel and we start to say, “hey,

6:03 this is how things have usually been,

6:05 this is the box that I put myself in, that parents

6:08 put me in, but I want to change that.

6:10 And we start to essentially rewire and reshape

6:14 our perception box and how we see ourselves,

6:17 and how we think other people interpret us as well.