Your Mind Is Programmed To Keep You Stuck (Here's How To Rewrite It) | Brendon Burchard

0:00 Our preferences are our ceiling.

0:02 Everybody listening right now,

0:04 you have a preference and you've had it your entire

0:06 life of how much problem complexity you wanted to take on.

0:10 I prefer hard problems, complex multivariant problems.

0:15 Other people that go, you know what, I like no problems.

0:19 No problem people never become great.

0:22 Number one New York Times bestselling author

0:24 and the author of high performance habits,

0:26 how extraordinary people become that way.

0:29 We have the inspiring Brendan Bashard in the house.

0:32 We read all these like little books on habits like do this little habit,

0:35 do this little habit, this, you know,

0:36 tiny habit, incremental habit, atomic habit, all all these.

0:39 They're great except they sold this story to the world that like,

0:43 oh, make it easy for yourself.

0:45 The way to have a great habit is make it easy.

0:47 I'm like, go talk to high performers.

0:49 Is it easy?

0:50 Did you set it up to try to be easy?

0:51 They're like, no, actually I kind of did it the hard way and bumbled in.

0:55 We've been around people at the highest level of what

0:58 they do and there's certain non-negotiables that they seem to have.

1:02 What is underneath the non-negotiables that support

1:06 them to actually accomplishing their wildest dreams?

1:09 This is a huge insight I didn't get until maybe 4 years ago.

1:16 You have coached some of the biggest influencers,

1:19 business leaders, sports athletes,

1:22 spiritual leaders on the planet for over a decade, almost two decades now.

1:29 And we both have, you've coached them, I've interviewed a lot of them.

1:33 We've been around people at the highest level of what they do.

1:39 Mh.

1:38 And there's certain non-negotiables that they seem to have.

1:42 Mh.

1:42 whether it be around their health,

1:43 around their relationships, around business, there's certain non-negotiables.

1:47 And I'm curious, is there a few

1:49 key non-negotiables that the greatest leaders have?

1:52 And everyone's got different personalities

1:54 and styles on how they've gotten there, right?

1:56 But what is underneath the non-negotiables that support

2:00 them to actually accomplishing their wildest dreams?

2:03 I love this.

2:04 Uh, this is a huge insight I didn't get until maybe four years ago.

2:09 The non-negotiable doesn't sound like non-negotiable, but it is.

2:12 It is that their preferences do not

2:16 win over their performance or their aspirational vision.

2:21 What does that mean?

2:22 Like I prefer to have sugar all day.

2:25 Totally.

2:25 But I'm not going to eat sugar all day.

2:27 Yeah.

2:27 And in performance, what I found out is like our preferences are our ceiling.

2:33 Most people have a way they prefer their life to be.

2:36 And more importantly, there's some very specific things we'll talk

2:39 about preferences that prevent them from even trying.

2:41 So, for example, uh everybody listening right now,

2:44 you have a preference and you've had your entire life,

2:46 whether you're conscious or unconscious,

2:48 you had a preference of how much problem complexity you wanted to take on,

2:55 right?

2:56 Elon Musk goes, I'm willing to take on the problem of going to Mars

3:00 and running a car company and doing this and doing and it's all good.

3:04 Yes, I will take on this much problem complexity.

3:07 I prefer hard problems.

3:10 I prefer complex multivariant problems.

3:14 Other people they go, you know what?

3:16 I like no problems.

3:19 No problem people never become great.

3:22 Other people, they go, you know,

3:24 I just want this one problem or this two problem,

3:26 but they're not going to go very far.

3:28 I'll give you an example.

3:30 Uh, you know, when I was learning math in elementary school, I was great.

3:34 I was getting A's.

3:36 When we got into like algebra trig two and three,

3:39 I didn't like the complexity of using the calculator

3:42 to figure this out and this multi-step problem solving.

3:46 It freaked me out.

3:47 It had nothing to do with my childhood,

3:50 had nothing to do with my spirituality, had nothing to do with my values.

3:54 It was just like people have a preference

3:57 of problem complexity and that is most people's ceiling.

4:01 Interesting.

4:01 Is there a way to break through the preference of your what would you call it?

4:07 The what ceiling?

4:08 The complexity ceiling.

4:09 Really?

4:10 Is there a way to break through the preference

4:11 or to expand the pallet to expand the plate of complexity?

4:19 Yeah.

4:18 Of problem solving and make it seem like it's actually easy.

4:22 Yeah.

4:22 That's the non-negotiable.

4:25 They don't care if it seems easy.

4:27 They do it anyway.

4:28 We read all these like little books on habits like do this little habit,

4:31 do this little habit, this, you know,

4:32 tiny habit, incremental habit, atomic habit, all all these.

4:35 They're great except they sold this story to the world that like,

4:39 oh, you know, it make it easy for yourself.

4:43 The way to have a great habit is to make it easy.

4:44 I'm like, go talk to high performers.

4:46 Is it easy?

4:48 Did you set it up to try to be easy?

4:49 They're like, "No, actually, I kind of did it the hard way and bumbled in."

4:53 The non-negotiable is they don't tell themselves it should be easy.

4:58 They don't expect it to be easy.

5:00 They honor the struggle.

5:01 They go, "I know what I'm going after is impossible, is hard.

5:05 No one's done it before." When you read Jeff Bezos investors letters,

5:08 when you listen to Elon Musk, when you lead listen to Jensen, you know, Nvidia,

5:13 it's like Nvidia is like, "It's supposed to be hard.

5:16 It's supposed to be brutal.

5:18 That's why you're achieving greatness.

5:19 You're taking on problems that most people were like,

5:22 I don't want to solve that.

5:24 Detroit did not want to solve electric vehicles.

5:27 It was too hard of a problem in their system.

5:30 It was not elegant.

5:32 So Detroit said, I guess we're not going to do that.

5:33 And Tesla rolled in.

5:35 And so you can really look back at your life and go,

5:39 where did I really struggle?

5:40 Where did I really fail?

5:41 Where did it not go well?

5:43 And I promise you, you had a preference.

5:46 I don't want to take on problems that hard.

5:48 Second thing they did in terms of preferences, we all have people preferences.

5:55 We have people preferences in depth and frequency and volume.

6:01 Let me give an example because this I know this is being very specific,

6:03 but this is the high performance stuff.

6:04 This is like the differentiator in what makes somebody great.

6:09 Those who don't achieve greatness, they don't like people.

6:14 They don't want to deal with people.

6:15 They want to be solo.

6:16 They don't have relationship depth because guess what?

6:19 To go deep with somebody that introduces problems,

6:23 right?

6:23 Uh when you want to make a massive impact in the world, guess what?

6:26 You have to deal with more people.

6:29 You want a major major difference in the world,

6:30 you have to deal with more people more often.

6:32 team.

6:35 But a lot of people, and by the way, I was at this way at some point,

6:39 and I want to really emphasize

6:40 this to everyone listening because it's not like uh,

6:44 you know, I didn't have these preferences, too.

6:46 For me, I'm like the nutty professor in the morning.

6:48 I want to be by myself.

6:50 I want to be solo.

6:51 I'm really great.

6:52 I mean, if I was in Pluribabus, if I was the last person alive,

6:55 I think I could make it a year or two without worrying about people.

6:58 I'm really good solo.

6:59 Yeah.

6:59 Yeah.

7:00 And that took me to, you know, uh, just under eight figures in revenue.

7:05 And sometime I want to reach more people, make a bigger difference.

7:07 I need a bigger team.

7:09 Now, that is not my preference.

7:12 Having a team is not my preference.

7:14 If you said, "Well, Brendan, have a team.

7:16 Maybe my preference could go up to five people, right?

7:19 Could I ever imagine over a hundred?" No way.

7:23 A 100 employees is against my preference.

7:26 But the question is, does my preference win?

7:29 or does the vision win?

7:31 Interesting.

7:31 So, who do you have to become to overcome the preference of the ceiling

7:35 that you currently have in order to get

7:37 to the next level of accomplishing the vision?

7:40 Yeah, you must who do you have to become?

7:42 You have to become the person who's

7:43 willing to set a priority of your aspirational

7:46 self or the concrete vision that is more important than your natural style.

7:52 Gosh, this is why I tell people everyone thinks

7:55 that their life ceiling is based on circumstance or their psychology.

7:59 Well, Bren, I'm an introvert or I'm an extrovert or I'm open.

8:01 I'm like, actually, your preferences correlate more

8:04 to your success than your quote unquote psychology.

8:08 Really?

8:07 Yeah.

8:08 Cuz guess what?

8:09 Think about an introvert expert and whether they succeed or not.

8:13 Well, we could say, well, it's just, you know,

8:15 it's some kind of false dichotomy there that only one or the other can succeed.

8:19 But no, the layering effect that actually happens on top

8:22 of those things is do you take on complex problems or not?

8:27 Can you stay with the hard problem for a long

8:29 time that we might maybe we can call that some

8:33 element of conscientiousness in the you know the big five

8:36 personality traits but it's not necessarily extroverts as an example.

8:40 I'm an extrovert at like halfway.

8:43 I'm like half extrovert, half introvert.

8:46 But I have a very strong preference about

8:47 the volume of people and how long I'm with people.

8:51 Yes.

8:51 Then then I freak out.

8:51 So it's not about necessarily the trait.

8:53 It's about these preferences.

8:56 So if a person is not willing to overcome their preferences,

8:59 their natural style their you know their their natural preference for problems

9:06 or people depth complexity um they won't achieve more than their natural style.

9:14 My natural sty is be home, be alone, uh not work that hard.

9:19 Uh pina colada time,

9:21 relax, sleep in relax like what makes me comfortable and natural.

9:27 For example, you and I've talked about

9:28 this and you've coached me so well about like this.

9:32 I'm it being the subject of an interview is very hard for me.

9:37 It is not natural.

9:38 It's why you can look for, you know, 20 years now.

9:42 My career was direct to camera or on stage teaching solo curriculum.

9:47 Yeah.

9:47 No one's there.

9:48 It's you to a camera.

9:50 No one's watching you.

9:50 No one's there.

9:51 Or live on stage, too.

9:53 But yeah,

9:54 it's you teaching, but not someone questioning you or asking you questions.

9:57 Yeah.

9:58 But that preference only allowed me to reach so many people.

10:01 If I want to get my message out, I had to learn to talk.

10:04 I had to learn public speaking.

10:06 I had to learn video.

10:06 I had to learn to do interviews.

10:08 None of that is my preference.

10:10 So you must understand high performers override their preferences.

10:15 They choose a priority that is bigger than preference.

10:17 And that priority is a future vision, a concrete vision or an aspirational self.

10:21 That's the difference maker.

10:23 That's really the difference maker.

10:24 If someone wants to be successful, but they have a ceiling of success

10:30 or a belief of success or how much they could actually achieve.

10:34 If their success goes greater than the ceiling that they have in their mind,

10:39 yeah,

10:39 if they earn more than they think they're supposed to earn,

10:41 if they get more followers than they ever imagined was possible,

10:44 if they get an award that they didn't even know was possible, whatever it is,

10:47 they get some type of a success their mind didn't even think it was possible.

10:51 who went beyond their success preference.

10:56 What happens if they don't believe they're meant to accomplish that?

11:00 Mhm.

11:00 Two big things that everyone knows commonly.

11:03 Number one, imposter syndrome.

11:07 You know, yeah, I'm in this room with these stars,

11:10 but I don't really belong here, you know?

11:13 Or number two, which is the real insidious thing is lack of fulfillment.

11:20 really even when you succeed and achieve

11:22 and accomplish beyond your wildest dreams.

11:24 So many people who have so much money, so much fame,

11:27 so much success, so much external achievement

11:29 and also inner peace are not fulfilled.

11:32 And here's the crazy thing is think about this.

11:36 You and I have talked a lot about belief.

11:38 You have this amazing work on your on your greatness mindset book.

11:42 Belief is such a primary thing for us.

11:46 But what is belief?

11:49 Okay, I believe that something is possible.

11:52 I have faith in this motion, right?

11:56 I believe this thing will turn out.

11:57 I believe in myself.

11:59 I believe it will turn out.

12:02 Mhm.

12:01 When you achieve, if you believed it and you achieved it,

12:06 you fulfilled the belief.

12:11 Yes.

12:11 So fulfillment is I saw it, I believed it, I manifested, it happened.

12:16 So now I feel fulfilled.

12:17 I fulfilled the belief.

12:20 I fulfilled the faith.

12:22 If something just amazing happens,

12:24 it might happen.

12:25 You might appreciate it.

12:26 You might be happy for it.

12:27 You might be grateful to God for it, but you won't sense fulfillment because you

12:31 never believed for it in the first place.

12:33 So the belief was never fulfilled.

12:36 You just have the result.

12:37 Interesting.

12:37 And that's why people who are handed, you know, a bag from their parents,

12:42 people who win a lottery,

12:44 people who succeed in their first thing, but they didn't really try.

12:50 You follow them up years later, they've lost the money.

12:54 Uh they don't feel like they belong.

12:56 They have all this like like sense of inadequacy

13:02 because they got something they didn't earn or believe for.

13:04 M

13:05 it's very dangerous to just give people tons

13:08 of stuff because they can become entitled, right?

13:10 And I know that's a controversial word.

13:12 I'm not using that socially.

13:13 I'm just using that in terms of our own belief systems.

13:16 If we just get stuff, we tend to we didn't do the work.

13:19 We didn't believe for it, labor for it, desire for it.

13:22 And so when it happened, it was kind of like, wow, that's amazing.

13:25 But there's no fulfillment and there's no identity there,

13:28 which is the aspect of imposter syndrome.

13:30 So, if someone's struggling right now or they're

13:32 just kind of going through the motions and they're

13:34 not clear on what they want in their life

13:36 and they start to gain clarity and they say,

13:39 "Okay, I know I don't want to be in this current situation that I'm in.

13:42 I want to get out of this stuck

13:43 feeling and I want to create something more powerful,

13:46 more empowering, bigger for my life.

13:48 I want to accomplish something or I want to

13:50 break through a certain financial limit.

13:51 Whatever it might be, what do they need to do first?

13:56 Is it get clear on what they want exactly?

14:00 Is it start to reinforce new beliefs of what is

14:04 possible even if they've never actually accomplished those things before

14:07 that it is possible or is it just about taking

14:10 action and then allowing for things to unfold through the action?

14:15 What would you say is the first step there?

14:18 Yeah, I think first step is always job one.

14:22 Job one is no matter what your goal is, what your dream is,

14:24 where you're at in your life, you have one job.

14:27 Job one is teaching yourself to summon the best of who you are.

14:33 That's where it begins.

14:34 Like you don't have to have a distant clarity.

14:35 It's like, okay, how how do I pull the best

14:37 out of myself today to deal with my difficulties,

14:40 my challenges, the awful things in my life, you know?

14:43 Let's start there.

14:44 So, I I love clarity as a concept.

14:46 And a lot of people like me use that as a concept of a future aspirational self.

14:50 Here's where I'm going.

14:51 Here's what I want in the future.

14:52 Yeah.

14:53 I'm going to give people an acronym right now.

14:55 And the acronym is free.

14:56 F re and it'll just simple framework for people to remember like

15:01 what you want the clarity that you want uh the the the thing

15:05 that will take you to the next level is f re e

15:08 number one the f is about feeling you're after an aspirational feeling

15:14 in life and you need to clarify what that is like how

15:17 do I really want to feel each day for example I know I

15:20 want to feel centered I want to feel mentally strong and I want

15:25 to be bold like I want to feel that like that's an example.

15:29 Some people go, "Oh, I just want to feel loved,

15:33 cared for, and relaxed." What whatever it is for you,

15:36 that's a preference right now.

15:38 It will probably change later.

15:39 It's just a current preference.

15:40 Let's just identify what's the feeling you want.

15:43 And your job one each day is to live

15:45 into that feeling to generate the feelings you want.

15:48 You've got to create it.

15:48 It's not just it's not gonna magically I want to feel

15:51 this way and I'm waiting for the feeling to happen.

15:53 When's someone going to make me feel this way?

15:55 Yeah,

15:56 you need to bring the feeling, right?

15:57 That's it.

15:58 You need to be generative.

15:58 Yeah.

15:59 So, it's not you don't have a feeling, you generate a feeling.

16:01 And so, I have to Okay.

16:02 What is the feeling I want to generate?

16:04 For example, centeredness is a big one for me.

16:08 And so, I don't necessarily feel it.

16:11 Like before we began this day, I was a little nervous like my buddy Lewis,

16:13 I want to do a good job for him.

16:15 I like Bren sit down in the chair, get yourself centered,

16:19 look at your friend, let's have a good time.

16:20 So, I have to I have to do the selft talk to have the feeling that I desire.

16:24 Mhm.

16:24 So if we're trying to get clarity for people,

16:26 number one, what is the feeling you're after?

16:28 And you have to start generating that more consistently each day.

16:31 That's why I say job one is to summon that.

16:33 And I have a lot of strategies I use for myself to create those feelings.

16:39 Yeah.

16:39 For example, one of my feelings I want to create every day is connection, right?

16:42 So it's like my preference would be to kind of daydream and wander, right?

16:48 Or kind of do my own thing.

16:50 But in order to create connection, I have to connect with someone's eyes, right?

16:53 I have to.

16:53 And the more I look someone in the eyes, yeah,

16:55 you're creating a connection.

16:57 Just being in the room and looking around you and not looking at you,

17:00 you're not going to feel connected.

17:01 And I'm not going to feel we might be close to each other,

17:04 but that's not true connection, right?

17:06 So, it's I start the morning with my wife.

17:09 Okay, you know, maybe I don't feel like looking her in the eyes

17:11 and really connecting for two minutes every morning, but I'm tired.

17:14 I'm a little sluggish.

17:15 I'm waking up, but it's this is an important feeling to have.

17:18 I want her to feel connected to me.

17:20 I want to feel connected to her.

17:21 Yeah.

17:21 And that's one, I guess, strategy that I would use to like put myself

17:26 in generating the feeling that I want to experience.

17:30 Not what's she going to do for me or what's

17:32 someone else going to bring to me to feel this way.

17:35 Like you say, you've got to bring the joy.

17:38 Bring the joy.

17:38 You got to bring the feeling you want to create in your life.

17:41 Another thing I have is I used to be

17:43 so scared of going to these kind of networking events

17:46 and business meetings early on in my kind of mid20s

17:50 when I was just getting to the business world.

17:53 And I just said, "How can I smile every time

17:57 I enter a room where there's people I'm intimidated by?

18:00 Like if I'm going to an event or if I'm

18:02 going to a party or a networking thing or a conference,

18:05 how can I smile and just look around the room and just smile at everyone?"

18:08 I love that.

18:09 And even though I'm nervous, let me just smile.

18:11 Even though I don't know what I'm going to say, why don't I just smile?

18:14 You know, it's like creating this way of like an engaging energy

18:19 to hopefully allow other people feel comfortable to talk to me, right?

18:22 As opposed to being, I don't know, this tall intimidating

18:26 figure, athletic guy or whatever.

18:27 It's like smile, put my arms open.

18:30 You know, when I see you, it's like I put my arms out to bring in a hug.

18:32 It's true.

18:33 And I hold you a little longer.

18:34 I pick you up.

18:35 It's like I'm generating the feeling that I want to create

18:39 and you have to do it based on, you know,

18:40 I can't do that with just some random stranger,

18:42 but it's like doing it in context the best way possible.

18:46 But I think I love this as a framework to start the F being feeling.

18:50 How do I want to feel?

18:51 And you have to bring that energy.

18:55 Yes.

18:54 And bring the feeling.

18:57 Yes.

18:56 Your life doesn't change until you learn

18:58 to generate that which you want to feel.

19:01 That is the moment life changes.

19:02 when you can generate your experience versus just taking what

19:06 hits you because that's where you're in stimulus response forever.

19:10 Instead, it's like, oh,

19:11 regardless of what's happening around me, what can I generate?

19:14 And I always give people that metaphor because it was it's still

19:16 I I know I talked to you before on on a previous podcast,

19:20 the the the changing metaphor of my life

19:22 was the power plant does not have energy.

19:26 No power plant has energy.

19:27 A power plant is taking energy from one lower level of utilization.

19:31 It is transforming it into a higher level of utilization and transmitting it.

19:36 That's what we do in our personal or spiritual lives.

19:39 It's like we're able to tune into the world

19:42 and instead of like getting let the negative things ruin us,

19:45 we're no I can I can take all this energy

19:47 about me and I can transform it into a higher level.

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20:46 Listen, I feel just exhausted, drained, burnt out.

20:49 I don't feel like I have the energy to generate energy.

20:52 You know, it's like, yeah,

20:53 I don't have the energy to create it because it's got so much going on my plate.

20:58 What would you say to someone like that who's not maybe

21:01 at peak performance right now,

21:02 but more at a state of like a lower energetic state?

21:07 Mhm.

21:06 And I'm sure you've heard this all the time of like,

21:08 well, I've got responsibilities.

21:09 I've got my kids.

21:10 I've got two, three jobs.

21:11 It's I'm behind on bills.

21:13 How do I generate energy when I'm exhausted?

21:17 Yeah.

21:17 Um, the only way out is to shift your priorities.

21:23 And at that stage, when you're there,

21:25 the priority might have to shift to taking care for yourself again.

21:29 You might be wiped out because you're taking care of everybody else.

21:32 Yes.

21:32 You might be wiped out because you're running

21:34 the business and not leaning enough on the team.

21:36 You might be in a terrible state financially because you've prioritized

21:41 things that were big risks or you prioritized things that weren't needed

21:46 or you, you know, didn't prioritize getting help.

21:50 You tried to do it your own by yourself.

21:53 So there you have to shift a priority to have a different result.

21:57 And so we've all been there.

21:59 But once we know that's the lever.

22:01 Oh, the lever is the priority or the lever is so the lever is either I

22:05 generate something differently inside or I change

22:08 a priority so I can get a tactical result.

22:11 Yes.

22:11 And that's why I like that metaphor of the power plant.

22:13 Power plant doesn't have energy.

22:15 It's generating.

22:16 It's transforming it.

22:17 We can sometimes do that from within.

22:18 That's what changes our life.

22:19 We do something new from within.

22:22 But sometimes at a tactical level, we got to shift a priority.

22:25 And you have to be bold about that.

22:28 You can't wait on it.

22:29 you can't wait seven more years on it.

22:30 Shifting a priority means like now.

22:33 Yes.

22:34 So step number one, the F is how do I want to feel

22:36 and generating that feeling on a consistent basis or as frequently as possible.

22:41 What is the R?

22:43 R is less sexy.

22:44 R is responsibility.

22:47 Wow.

22:46 And what this means is when we have clarity or aspirational self,

22:50 the F meant well you have a feeling your aspirational self wants to feel.

22:54 Start learning to generate that.

22:55 Now responsibility is your aspirational future

22:57 self handles responsibilities a specific way.

23:03 Your current self with your obligation,

23:05 your responsibilities, you might complain, you might blame,

23:08 you might not, you know, get you might get angry,

23:11 impatient, insecure, you know, beat yourself up.

23:15 The way that you handle current responsibilities and obligations

23:18 is probably not the way your future best self would.

23:21 Yes.

23:22 So clarity is going, okay, future best self, aspirational Brendan,

23:26 how are you going to deal with this argument with your spouse?

23:30 How are you going to deal with the insecurity at the event?

23:32 How are you going to deal with

23:34 So again, intention is acting

23:38 from the aspirational self versus just the preference.

23:41 Now, my preference is I'm not even going

23:43 to open up the bills because guess what?

23:45 I know what's in them.

23:46 So I'm going to stack the bills over in the corner and I'm going to avoid them.

23:49 That's my preference.

23:50 A lot of people's preference in life is avoidance, not assertiveness.

23:55 Yes.

23:54 And so they've avoided and avoided

23:56 avoid they've avoided themselves into deeper holes.

23:59 The priority have to shift into an assertive lean into the future

24:03 and say, "How do I want to handle problems?" You know,

24:08 when my competitor lines up next to me on the block, that's a responsibility.

24:14 How do I want to handle that?

24:17 when I got to pay the bills,

24:18 when I got to turn on the camera, and I don't feel like it.

24:20 I mean, I I would love to hear how you feel about this cuz

24:23 I'm sure a million times you've turned on one of the cameras and you just,

24:26 you know, you're on day five of filming your 17th

24:29 guest and your eyes are bugging out a little bit like,

24:32 but they traveled to see you.

24:36 Mhm.

24:35 You got millions of people watching you.

24:38 You have a responsibility to get on.

24:40 Yeah.

24:40 Even though you might want to turn off.

24:43 So, how do you do it?

24:43 It's funny.

24:44 I was just telling Caroline before you were coming in here.

24:45 I was like, you know, this will be in less than two weeks,

24:51 it'll be 13 years of doing the podcast every single week.

24:56 Cheers, brother.

24:57 Come on, man.

24:58 You're such a 13 years.

25:00 Every single week, three times a week for the last 10 or 11 years.

25:04 Wow.

25:04 It was once a week for the first year, then twice a week,

25:06 then uh three times a week for the last 10 or 11 years.

25:09 And I was just telling her, I was like,

25:12 sometimes in the afternoon if I've got multiple interviews,

25:14 I've got to recalibrate, shift the energy because I'm training for my Olympic

25:21 dream in the morning hard with a trainer.

25:23 And so I'm getting up and I'm pushing my body.

25:26 Then I'm with my twins and my wife, you know,

25:28 then I I got to be on the whole rest of the day.

25:31 I was telling her, I was like, pro athletes, they train really hard,

25:34 but then they're kind of like they're they have a lot of downtime, too.

25:37 You can only train for so many hours and then like you're recovering,

25:41 you're resting, you're playing video games,

25:42 you're just hanging out with your friends,

25:43 whatever it is or your family, but you're not on

25:46 all the time unless you're playing a game or a practice.

25:51 Yeah.

25:50 I'm training for an Olympic sport and then I'm on the rest of the day.

25:56 I've got to shave every day.

25:57 I've got to do my hair.

25:58 I've got to put myself together.

26:00 I've got to be presentable.

26:02 Yeah.

26:02 to then deliver value to the audience and to my guests and and be present.

26:07 And Matt always jokes about me.

26:08 He goes, "It's not hard sitting there

26:10 and asking some of my questions." You know, he always says this as a joke.

26:13 And I'm like, "But when you're giving your full time and attention and present,

26:16 actually, it is so hard.

26:18 Like, and you do it two or three times a day after you've trained,

26:22 you know, in the morning." And I've seen you, I mean,

26:23 I've watched you this whole time

26:24 and and and you know these little things about them.

26:27 So, you've done your homework, you've done your research, and you're bring that.

26:30 So intellectually you're so engaged that's tiring.

26:35 Yeah.

26:33 Yeah.

26:33 Yeah.

26:34 It it can be.

26:35 But I have to constantly stay focused on the vision.

26:39 And this is why every week we talk about guys

26:41 our mission is to reach and serve 100 million lives weekly.

26:45 Why?

26:45 Because this is meaningful work for us.

26:47 And if we're going to do something to make money,

26:50 why don't we make it meaningful?

26:51 Why don't we change lives?

26:52 Why don't we impact people's lives and and better people?

26:55 Why don't we do something where we get

26:57 to learn also and help other people like Yeah.

26:58 Yeah,

26:59 what a gift, you know, at least that's how I see it.

27:01 And I'm like, even if I had all the money in the world,

27:04 I'd still want to do some type of format of this, helping others.

27:09 Yeah.

27:08 What a gift.

27:09 And so, it's um it's a constant reminder.

27:12 And it's it's shifting priorities.

27:14 Like you said, I have had to cut back on like I don't go out at night.

27:19 I don't go to parties or dinners or these things.

27:23 Like I come home, I see my kids now.

27:26 I see my wife.

27:27 I recover and recharge and relax and because I

27:31 know I got to prepare for the next day

27:33 and I got to show up again the next day early morning training hard and have

27:37 the energy to do what I'm doing next day

27:39 which is being on camera most of the time.

27:42 And so it's it's making sure my priorities have

27:45 to shift in order to reach new levels of performance.

27:49 Mhm.

27:51 And whereas I used to say yes to meetings all the time and do lunch

27:54 meetings and dinner meetings and you know

27:57 networking it's like I don't do that anymore.

28:00 Right.

27:59 Once in a blue moon if there's like something special like okay I really

28:02 plan it but it's not yeah let's go hang out tonight or this and that.

28:06 It's like my priorities change to serve the goals that I want to create

28:13 right

28:12 and it's it's not my nature.

28:14 You know, I wish I could just kind of show up

28:16 and not shave and not do my hair and wear sweatpants,

28:20 but uh I have to shift my preferences based on the priorities.

28:23 That's right.

28:25 Yeah.

28:24 Yeah.

28:24 And you've got I want to acknowledge Lewis and everyone

28:29 hear this because when we talk about responsibilities,

28:31 people often think that those are things that people don't want.

28:38 Yeah.

28:37 High performers want responsibilities.

28:39 And the difference is they choose their responsibilities

28:43 and they choose how to show up for them.

28:45 So they prioritize things that shouldn't be responsibilities like hey let

28:49 me delegate this let me not go out to those dinners.

28:52 So part of the responsibility set like when your aspirational self I always tell

28:56 people it's like it's not just how

28:58 does your aspirational self handle difficult responsibilities.

29:03 It's what responsibilities did the great you in the future choose

29:09 and how do they show up for them?

29:11 So you chose kids.

29:13 Yes.

29:13 You chose Uhhuh.

29:15 Yeah.

29:15 It's amazing.

29:16 I chose it.

29:16 Yeah.

29:16 Yeah.

29:17 So how do you show up for them?

29:18 Right.

29:18 That's It's interesting you say this cuz as you're

29:21 saying this, I'm 42 and I just went back

29:24 to my 20 years ago at 22 in my mind and I can remember where I'm at.

29:29 You know, I'm finishing college dreaming

29:32 of playing professional football and also

29:35 dreaming of like how am I going to make money in this world?

29:37 You know, what's my future going to look like?

29:39 And I don't want to be living off my parents or living on my sister's couch,

29:44 which I ended up doing.

29:44 And I don't want to be struggling in my life.

29:46 I want to have this future where I have a beautiful home,

29:49 a beautiful wife, a beautiful family, uh a mission that I love.

29:53 I want to have this dream life and I

29:57 am living the dreams of my 22-year-old self, right?

30:01 I'm living it every single day.

30:03 And I think it's a responsibility to continue to show

30:07 up for that 22 version of me that had that dream.

30:10 I get chills thinking about it because it's like, I love this.

30:13 And we have to remind ourselves that this pressure

30:16 is a privilege at this season of life

30:20 when we've been creating the life of our dreams

30:23 that our younger self couldn't even imagine.

30:25 Or maybe we imagined it, but we had no clue when or how it was going to happen.

30:29 Mhm.

30:29 I had no clue when or how this life would happen today.

30:33 And I'm freaking living it.

30:35 Yeah.

30:34 It's incredible.

30:35 It's so incredible.

30:36 And it's it's something to have a responsibility

30:38 of appreciation for what we've been given.

30:42 And then also to rep prioritize like you said like

30:44 okay maybe if you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed you got

30:46 to delegate things differently and you have to think about

30:49 what are only the things that you should be doing.

30:52 Don't take on everything take on less but do it better.

30:56 You know what I mean?

30:56 So it's we were talking about this off camera too is like

30:59 you know I'm trying to go more all

31:00 in on building my personal brand but that means I got

31:03 to let go these other things I've been doing that's

31:05 not going to help me with my time and energy right?

31:07 So, it's it's constantly shifting priorities based

31:10 on the season of life we're in.

31:12 Yes.

31:12 I think it's so important people hear us talking this way

31:14 about responsibilities because I love I love what you just shared.

31:17 It's like a lot of your responsibilities are a privilege.

31:20 Yeah.

31:21 You got to take the kids to school.

31:23 Yeah.

31:23 You you used to dream of having the kids.

31:27 Exactly.

31:26 You know, I work with this guy uh you know,

31:29 big financial guy and the other maybe this is like two weeks ago.

31:33 He's complaining so much about having to do all this, you know,

31:37 basically financial diligence.

31:39 And I was like, do you remember when it was just a checkbook?

31:43 Yeah.

31:43 Yeah.

31:44 Yeah.

31:45 And you were just trying to round out a few

31:47 zeros to make an extra 10, 20, 30, 50 bucks.

31:49 Like, bro, this responsibility to do this diligence for your investors, what a

31:57 privilege.

31:57 Reset to that, man.

31:58 Yeah.

31:58 Look at the life you have now.

31:59 Yes.

31:59 Because of this responsibility.

32:01 And I would just say, and this is very controversial, uh, but I don't care.

32:05 I believe that high performers and people of greatness and people of excellence,

32:10 they view responsibility as a positive thing.

32:14 And when you are underperforming and when you are selfish

32:17 and when you just have not done as much personal empowerment,

32:22 every frustration, inconvenience, obligation, and responsibility looks negative.

32:29 where other people go, I can't wait to do that well

32:34 and show the kids that it can be done well.

32:36 I can't wait to do that well and show my teammate I can do it well.

32:39 I can't wait to take on the challenges and responsibilities of life as a mature,

32:44 competent, capable adult who's doing job one, managing me.

32:48 I can't wait to see how I perform

32:51 at the Olympics.

32:52 I can't wait to see how I perform when they're faster.

32:56 I can't wait to see how I show up when I'm 30 points down, bro.

32:59 Yeah.

32:59 Yeah.

33:00 Those guys, they eat it up.

33:02 The great people eat that responsibility of greatness up.

33:06 They like it.

33:07 It's interesting.

33:08 Something else is coming up for me.

33:09 There's been two moments in the last six years.

33:14 Can you believe it's been six years since co Oh, yeah.

33:18 In two months, by the time of us recording this,

33:22 it'll be six years since CO hit.

33:24 But when COVID hit, because I got into I

33:28 guess the the working world around 2008 2009,

33:32 right like in the middle of the the housing

33:34 crash and so I was sleeping on my sister's couch

33:37 2007 to 2009 and they weren't hiring at that time

33:41 and the economy was crashing and it was like,

33:43 you know, they weren't hiring some, you know,

33:45 college football bum who played arena football

33:47 and broke his arm and I had no skills.

33:49 I had no education really.

33:51 They weren't hiring people with master's degrees,

33:53 let alone someone who barely graduated college.

33:56 And I remember feeling so helpless and so like powerless because I was like,

34:03 I don't have any control or it doesn't feel like I

34:05 have any control on how to get off my sister's couch,

34:08 how to make a living, and how to get out of debt.

34:10 It just felt powerless.

34:12 I was like, what do I do?

34:13 And I remember I was like, I never want to have this feeling again.

34:16 So as I started earn finally learning how to earn

34:18 money through having mentors and working hard and all

34:21 the stuff I've talked about I remember saying I

34:24 never when there's another crisis I want to be ready

34:29 like I want to be ready whether that's having the right investment

34:31 strategy the right savings the right whatever so if some when something happens

34:36 I'm ready yes when co hit

34:38 like you said I wasn't excited but I was like

34:41 I have been staying ready so I don't need to get ready for this moment

34:45 And this is a nightmare for the world obviously and it's not fun

34:51 and there's a lot of sadness happening and loss of life.

34:54 But I am ready for this moment like I'm ready

34:56 to take on the challenge of what's being thrown my way.

35:00 Love it.

35:00 And I felt like we myself and my team we thrived

35:04 in that season and other

35:06 my personal relationship struggled and another relationship,

35:08 you know, other stuff struggled but I was ready for the business moment

35:12 like I'd prepared for it.

35:13 And the second moment that's coming out for me

35:15 was in the last three months, you know,

35:19 I felt like last year I got married,

35:24 Martha got pregnant and then we had twins within,

35:27 you know, 10 months essentially

35:30 and

35:30 and you re-engaged the Olympic

35:31 and I re-engaged and all these different things, right?

35:34 So, I was taking on a lot.

35:36 And I remember thinking to myself, for the last five years,

35:40 I'd been doing my own healing journey in intimacy

35:43 and relationships to get me ready to get married.

35:47 Like, I felt like I've been doing the inner healing journey.

35:50 To create a new preference in relationships.

35:54 That's right.

35:56 New priorities to have different results

35:59 and a different feeling that generated from the relationship.

36:03 And I remember just thinking like I need to be emotionally ready for marriage,

36:08 for kids because I have no clue what's coming.

36:12 And it's been a beautiful journey.

36:16 And at the same time when Martha, you know, gave birth to our twins,

36:20 she had about 6 to 8 weeks of extreme complications.

36:24 She went to the ER twice after coming back from the hospital.

36:27 She was in the hospital three times within a month.

36:30 And there were some scary moments,

36:32 but I remember just thinking, "Thank God I invested four,

36:37 five, six years ago in emotional healing to be ready for this.

36:41 It was extremely uncomfortable.

36:43 It was challenging emotionally, spiritually, physically,

36:46 all these things." And it was scary.

36:48 But I was like, had I not trained myself to prepare

36:51 for these moments of my future self stepping into marriage and kids,

36:55 while having to run a business,

36:56 while having to do this, while training, while and keep everything going, right?

37:02 There's no way I'd have been able to handle it well.

37:04 I would have been reactive.

37:05 I would have been, I can't handle this.

37:07 I would have been broken down emotionally and spiritually

37:11 and probably crumbled had I not invested years ago.

37:15 Love that.

37:15 in staying ready.

37:17 So I didn't need to get ready.

37:19 And I think when we are able to have a vision of our future self that we want,

37:24 it starts now in doing the actions and creating

37:27 the habits and creating new preferences like you talked about,

37:30 which is owning responsibility.

37:32 We we don't like being responsible sometimes, but owning it

37:36 allows us to be ready for when hits the fan.

37:41 You know, it's like when crap happens, you may not handle it perfectly,

37:45 but you handle a lot better than if you didn't prepare for this, you know.

37:50 So, responsibility is a huge one.

37:51 I've seen that arc for you, too.

37:53 If I can just say it, like as a friend, I can share like as a friend.

38:00 Watching you grow into the man for Marta

38:06 has been amazing.

38:07 And and there's no way if if if you and Mart had intersected five years earlier,

38:12 it would have been a mess.

38:14 And she always tells me that.

38:15 She goes, "God, why didn't we meet each other 10 years ago?

38:17 Why didn't?" And I go, "Cuz I wouldn't have been ready." No.

38:20 And I would have blown it and I would have ruined this.

38:22 And

38:24 yeah,

38:23 like you didn't want to be with me back.

38:25 You had to do the work.

38:27 I needed.

38:27 And so I Everyone listening, I have a phrase.

38:30 It's hard to hear, but I want you to think about the last three months, okay?

38:36 And just tell you, again, I just want to refer to everyone.

38:38 I'm a high performance coach.

38:40 This is what I do for a career.

38:41 In high performance coaching, we have this phrase, you're paid to push.

38:44 So sometimes I say things, it sounds flippant.

38:46 When someone clips it, they're like, "Oh, he's a jerk." And I'm like, I'm

38:49 I just say things because I think that this is true.

38:52 If you look at your last three months, I want to tell everybody listening,

38:58 you have been training to be able to handle your future dreams responsibilities.

39:07 Mhm.

39:07 Or not.

39:08 You have and and how you've been training is either going

39:10 to prepare you for it or you're not going to be prepared.

39:12 You're in training.

39:12 You're doing it now.

39:13 You are training.

39:14 How you are training to overeat?

39:15 Are you training to be mean?

39:17 Are you training to disengage?

39:18 Are you train?

39:20 Yeah, exactly.

39:20 You're training.

39:21 And so I also think that's a really compelling thought for many people.

39:25 It took me a long time to realize you don't have future dreams.

39:30 You have future dreams and responsibilities that come with them.

39:35 Yes.

39:35 And so for example, I knew uh in my business, you know,

39:38 we have growth day and we serve people all around the world.

39:40 And I said, you know, one day I'm going to have the software platform.

39:43 We're going to serve people around the world.

39:44 Well, I had that that dream and I thought

39:48 I actually how how does taxes work around the world?

39:52 If I'm selling into Europe or Africa or Asia, how does that work?

39:58 So, I literally went and watched videos, hired a coach, an expert,

40:03 uh went and studied a bunch of books,

40:05 and had to learn like, wow, how does that scale?

40:07 Cuz I wanted to be earning tens and tens of millions.

40:10 And you know this was this is long before you

40:13 know one of our companies you know became a unicorn company.

40:16 It was like how does all that work?

40:19 I was looking at that 10 years ago.

40:22 It wouldn't it would be years until I sold

40:24 you know millions and millions in all these other countries.

40:26 So I had to figure that out and because the dream

40:29 is reach millions people but there's also taxes team blah blah.

40:32 So responsibilities the question I I'll go back to the re of the of of the point

40:37 is you have to have clarity and aspirations for future self and part of that

40:43 yes

40:43 is the feelings you want start generating them now part of that is

40:46 responsibilities how would your future self

40:49 handle your current responsibilities that's fr the

40:53 before you go on there I have a couple other examples I add there

40:55 throw in please I love this by the way

40:57 one one is early on my mentor Chris Hawker I

41:02 was broke woke on my sister's couch and I was like,

41:03 God, I wonder really want to make some money.

41:05 But I'd been working for maybe 6 to 8 months.

41:07 I wasn't really getting a breakthrough financially.

41:10 I was just kind of struggling, barely getting by.

41:12 And I was like, gosh, I just want to figure out how to make more money.

41:16 Because when you are poor and broke and in debt and living off credit cards,

41:20 it feels like you're suffocating.

41:22 It feels like you can't breathe.

41:23 I don't know if anyone can relate to that, but for me,

41:25 that's how it felt for me.

41:25 this life and if you don't know the solution

41:28 on how to get financially out of that suffering,

41:32 you're just like grasping for anything.

41:34 Mh.

41:34 And I was like, gosh, I really want to make some money.

41:36 I just don't know how to do it.

41:37 And he said something that has stuck with me for the last 18 years.

41:39 He was like, money comes to you when you're ready for it.

41:42 And I was like, I feel pretty ready.

41:44 You know, I'm ready.

41:46 I feel want this.

41:49 But then, you know, maybe a year and a half, two years later,

41:53 the reason it stuck with me is because I started to earn more money

41:57 and it started to come pretty quick after about a year and a half later.

42:00 Like, it started to accelerate once I kind of figured it out.

42:04 And I remember reflecting back on that conversation.

42:06 I go, gosh, just like if I met Martha 10 years prior,

42:09 I wouldn't have been ready for it.

42:11 I wasn't internally ready for it.

42:14 If I started making all this money that I was making two years later,

42:17 I probably would have blown it.

42:18 I would have spent it on stupid stuff.

42:20 I'd still feel scarce around it.

42:21 I'd feel anxious around it.

42:23 I wouldn't have the right energy and responsibility to it

42:27 as when the time when I started to make it

42:29 based on the things I shifted inside of me around it.

42:35 And so that was one of them.

42:36 And and one of the things I'm doing now and something my therapist a few

42:40 years ago once I felt like I was got really resolved with certain things

42:47 I needed to heal and I felt like I integrated a lot of the lessons

42:50 and I was taking the actions and I felt like man I really feel peaceful.

42:54 Doesn't mean I'm perfect or I still

42:56 have challenges but I felt like internally peaceful.

43:00 She'd be like what do you want to talk about this week?

43:02 And I was like gosh I just feel so good.

43:03 I feel good all the time, you know.

43:05 But I was like, what are the problems that your 60,

43:08 70 year old ma successful male clients have?

43:13 She's like, a lot of the problems are they

43:15 like make mistakes in their marriages or they worked so

43:18 hard for 40 years that they weren't there for their kids

43:21 and they don't have a relationship with their kids

43:23 and they're kind of just like, you know,

43:26 they've messed up their life, their family, their marriage, their kids.

43:29 I was like, "Oh, I don't want that." You know,

43:32 and I've heard so many great wise older men say that success in their 50s,

43:38 60s, and 70s is their adult children wanting to hang out with them.

43:43 Love that.

43:43 Not because they have money, but want to spend time with them just because.

43:48 I was like, "Yeah, that would be a beautiful future self,

43:51 right?" And this was before I had kids.

43:54 I was like, "Who do I need to be?" Yes.

43:56 to emotionally handle and navigate the emotions and ups and downs of children

44:02 in the world and what they need and how can I best prepare myself.

44:06 So, I'm training now for my daughters to be teenagers.

44:11 Uhhuh.

44:11 You know, it's like they're a couple months old,

44:13 but I'm training like what am I need to learn

44:16 so that when they're 2 years old, 6 years old,

44:18 10 years old, what are the things that happen around those ages?

44:22 How do I navigate those things now emotionally

44:25 so that I'm ready for it?

44:27 And I think that's what high performers also do is

44:30 they're seeing the future that they want to, you know,

44:32 I want to go to the Olympics.

44:33 I want to create this in my business.

44:35 I want to have a beautiful family.

44:36 And they're training now for something that won't

44:39 pay off for years or if not decades.

44:43 They're doing the emotional training now, the skill training, the development,

44:47 whatever it is for something that won't pay dividends for a long time.

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46:48 I can see that's one reason we're huge friends.

46:51 Yeah.

46:51 And uh you know for those listening,

46:53 many of you guys know Lewis and I run a mastermind called Ultra.

46:57 Yes.

46:57 And I can tell you cuz I've run that several

46:59 years now that the differentiator the people in that room.

47:03 You can tell that they want the responsibilities

47:06 of life that demand more of them.

47:09 Yes.

47:09 And I I would urge everyone to really think about it.

47:12 The group of people you hang out with or your team or your family or the friends

47:17 you've chosen when they talk about responsibilities,

47:21 is it a negative conversation or is it I'm leveling up conversation?

47:27 Yes.

47:26 If it's a leveling up conversation, you're probably in the right group.

47:30 It's a group that can see past problems and see a potential future and believe

47:35 in something for you beyond what maybe you

47:37 even believe or beyond where you're at circumstantially now.

47:41 If you're around people who

47:42 only complain about responsibilities and obligations,

47:44 you probably need a new peer group, need a coach, need a mastermind,

47:49 need a better company culture, need to move on next job.

47:51 I don't know what it is for you but you have to be really attuned to that

47:56 because there is that level in which there's a speaking

48:00 of co there there's a viral nature of human energy about responsibilities

48:08 and I've been there I grew up in a very

48:10 difficult place you know economically depressed mining town you know parents

48:16 my dad did three tours in Vietnam came back to United

48:18 States didn't like it soldiers anymore are my mom's from Vietnam and

48:24 for Vietnam.

48:25 I didn't know that.

48:26 It's cool.

48:27 Yeah.

48:27 Yeah.

48:27 French Vietnamese.

48:27 You can't see the Vietnamese on can.

48:30 But um Yeah.

48:32 So, dad grew up in Montana.

48:35 Uh wanted to see the world.

48:37 Joined the US Marine Corps.

48:40 Uhhuh.

48:40 Ended up going to Vietnam in three tours.

48:42 Got all shot up.

48:45 Wow.

48:44 Came back to the US.

48:46 um end up recruiting in the South right during

48:49 and right after Vietnam when no one wanted that.

48:52 So he'd be spit on, things thrown at him, just awful.

48:55 Recruiting people to join the military.

48:57 Yeah.

48:59 Wow.

48:58 My mom uh she had grown up in Vietnam under the first war,

49:02 what used to be called the Indina War,

49:04 which was a French Vietnamese conflict, which is before the American conflict.

49:07 So the French Vietnamese conflict,

49:09 her father was a French soldier with her mother who's Vietnamese.

49:14 He got killed when she was oh gosh 8 n 10.

49:21 Yeah.

49:21 So she got shipped to France for the child of war program.

49:25 She speaks French.

49:26 She

49:27 speaks French.

49:27 Yeah.

49:27 Grew up in you know convents basically.

49:30 So she grows up has a terrible time there.

49:32 Abused treated really terribly.

49:34 You know separated from her family in France.

49:36 Separated from her mother who was still in Saigon.

49:39 And so mom has terrible she turns 18 19.

49:42 She like I'm out of here.

49:43 goes back to Vietnam, meets another American, marries him, comes to the US.

49:49 He's terri terrible to her.

49:51 They get divorce.

49:52 She ends up meeting my dad.

49:55 Wow.

49:55 So my dad had to go to Vietnam, come back to the US.

49:57 My mom, Vietnam, France, Vietnam, US, and they meet in Washington DC.

50:03 Wow.

50:02 And uh love at first sight.

50:04 Just amazing.

50:05 Bam.

50:06 Love at first sight.

50:07 And uh just had nothing.

50:09 neither man had anything, you know,

50:11 left the east coast to Montana to raise us kids

50:15 because dad wanted to raise us kids in Montana and, you know,

50:19 grew up in but Montana and tiny little town called Conrad and then Great Falls.

50:24 Tiny little towns.

50:25 Um, and but had been economically depressed for a long time.

50:28 It used to be a mining town and uh it's tough place to grow up, brutal.

50:33 mom and dad working as many jobs as they could get, trying to raise for us.

50:39 And there was a lot of alcoholism in that town.

50:43 It was a very physical town.

50:45 Lots of bullying, lots of fighting, just an awful town.

50:49 And I can look back at that kid

50:51 as me being raised through those towns and thinking

50:56 about the times we had and I can

50:58 My dad kept getting better jobs as we moved throughout.

51:02 nothing ever wild or crazy.

51:04 End up managing the DMVs of the state.

51:07 Okay.

51:07 Well, and uh you know, from one little one to many of them and

51:12 hopefully the lines were faster there.

51:15 Yeah.

51:15 I I wouldn't bring that up to my dad,

51:17 but you know, he um he got better and better jobs.

51:21 And I noticed that well,

51:23 they're not the jobs we all talk about in the media world,

51:25 multi-million dollar jobs.

51:26 What what I did notice was the people

51:28 were getting around when they talked about problems,

51:32 you know, they had some ownership to them.

51:35 It wasn't the government's fault.

51:37 It wasn't, you know, this town's fault.

51:40 It wasn't the economy's fault.

51:42 They kind of like, yeah, this is hard,

51:43 but here's all the things I'm doing about it.

51:45 And I started noticing a change in the culture.

51:47 Then I went to college.

51:48 I started noticing a change in the kids who succeeded and the kids who didn't.

51:52 Then I went to, you know,

51:53 San Francisco and I worked for Accenture, this global consulting company.

51:55 Then you know now I've been a high performance coach for 20

51:58 plus years and it work with the world's best teams athletes

52:02 and everything and one thing is the way they talk about responsibility

52:06 one complains blames hates it another goes I wonder I have to be

52:10 to handle that next level of complexity and difficulty like who like

52:15 what skill set what competency would I need to deal with and they

52:18 want the challenge it is the tell of the high performer they

52:22 want the challenge it's the tell of positive psych ology called flow, right?

52:27 Flow state is you are you're like going

52:29 just beyond your current skill set or competency

52:32 in a challenge you're engaged in and it's

52:34 timely and you need to be quote unquote engaged.

52:36 And I think it's just interesting like are you a person who is fully

52:40 engaged taking on hard things that are

52:42 responsibilities maybe you didn't want or you did.

52:45 But we all know somebody who's a deadbeat dad.

52:48 We all know somebody who just refuses to own up to the lie.

52:54 We all know somebody who refuses to give

52:56 back even though they were given to so generously.

52:59 We we know people who don't take life's responsibilities and you just

53:05 you can't change your life until you get that self-reliant responsibility ethic.

53:10 And I don't know it's hard to say that

53:12 you can't achieve something great being a victim either.

53:15 Yeah.

53:15 So that's like taking responsibility versus you know reacting

53:18 and being a victim to the circumstance that you have.

53:21 And so we're talking about becoming free

53:23 with your acronym and that's creating the feeling.

53:25 How do I want to feel?

53:27 Taking responsibility as well for where you're at and where you want to be.

53:30 What would the E be and free?

53:32 The next E which is related again

53:34 to your clarity and your aspirational self is expression.

53:38 The future you has a way that he or she expresses yourself.

53:45 And a way another another way to say this people is like

53:48 the future you deals with people in a specific way.

53:52 You treat people in a specific way.

53:55 You're generous with people in a specific way.

53:57 You're patient with people in a specific way.

53:58 If you think about the absolute best self,

54:01 it's not just that you express yourself in the way you look in terms of status,

54:05 you know, money, power, fame, or even clothing and stuff.

54:09 It's that you're aware I express myself confidently.

54:14 Uh, it's like you talked about earlier, I walk in a room and I smile.

54:18 Yes.

54:17 It's like you talked about early, I I'm I'm there and present for my kids.

54:22 It's like they're really conscientious about how they treat other people.

54:26 And you become more aware of your expression.

54:28 For example, my natural preference isn't that charismatic

54:33 when I teach because I kind of like

54:35 to go way deep in the and talk about

54:37 the research and the key points and the curriculum.

54:39 I'm the guy who gets lost in the content

54:42 and I have to pull myself out and go, "Oh, Brendan, project, dude.

54:46 Entertain a little bit." Yeah.

54:47 You know, move your hands a little, you know,

54:48 I I have to now it's natural for me because I've been doing it for 20 years.

54:52 But the very beginning,

54:54 everyone I grew up around was like

54:56 this all the time or they were like, you know, going to hit you.

54:58 It was like there was not a lot of free flowing,

55:00 especially masculine expression where I was from.

55:03 And so I had to learn that.

55:04 I thought my future self, I see him differently.

55:08 I would imagine like for example at the time being

55:13 on stage I would grip the side of the podium.

55:17 I would have three or four or five pages of notes and I would grip it.

55:20 I would be terrified.

55:22 But when I thought about a future speaking,

55:25 I would see this kid like walking across stage laughing with people,

55:29 calling up people, like dancing and jumping to music,

55:32 having a good time up there.

55:34 And like I could just see him so joy, so free in expression.

55:39 And that seemed like light years away

55:41 from where I was where I'm gripping the podium, flipping the paper, sweating.

55:46 I mean, I was like in an awful state.

55:49 But the idea that I could become that when

55:52 you realize expression is not about your natural ability,

55:57 but expression like all communication is actual competency.

56:01 I was like, I can get better.

56:02 like you've been coaching me how to be better interviewing.

56:05 I'm asking you all these detailed questions.

56:06 I'm like, "Lewis, this is so amazing how you just do this.

56:09 I'm I'm awkward and weird.

56:10 I don't I don't know how to do this." And it's just fun to see you you do it.

56:14 But I know you developed that over 13 years of the show.

56:17 Yeah.

56:17 And I didn't know how to do it originally.

56:18 I had to learn over years.

56:20 You know, it's like just like you

56:21 learned public speaking and I learned interviewing.

56:23 It's like I didn't know what I was doing.

56:25 You know, you just figure it out and you build that competency,

56:27 which again in high performance habits,

56:29 you talk about competency creates more confidence.

56:32 The more confident you become, the more confident you are on stage now.

56:35 Now you can be on stage

56:36 and deliver what that kid in the podium dreamed of doing,

56:40 dancing and singing and jumping around and getting

56:42 knocked over by me in the air.

56:45 That's right.

56:45 When I introduce you, boom.

56:47 I don't know if you guys know that story,

56:48 but Lewis nearly knocked me off my own stage.

56:50 He hit me with like this like jump shot.

56:53 Yeah.

56:54 Yeah.

56:55 And I can't I don't know if they can tell on camera now,

56:57 but he's like significantly taller, bigger than me.

56:59 You really knocked me off.

57:00 But yeah, you you you have an expression.

57:03 Now, I want to really qualify this for people

57:04 cuz they're watching this and like, "Yeah, yeah,

57:06 I don't want to do the stage up and I'm I'm more quiet." I'm like,

57:09 I want you to know expression.

57:11 When I say you have an aspirational vision of expression,

57:13 it doesn't need to mean like you're a clown like me.

57:16 What it means, what it might mean is

57:19 you find the fullest expression of your authentic self.

57:25 You find comfort in being who you naturally are

57:29 around people of the best of who you are.

57:31 Yes.

57:31 you you you become intentional in relating

57:35 with other humans where you're generous, caring, giving,

57:39 uh you know, affirming of them and and you have to teach

57:43 that because most people your natural thing is you're judgmental of them.

57:46 Your natural thing is you're judgmental of self like I'm insecure of self.

57:49 I'm judgmental of other people.

57:50 So, I'm gripping life by the podium.

57:53 Your natural incredible, great, aspirational self is not that.

57:59 So you identify like oh the fullest expression.

58:02 Uh I I remember a family member one time came to the holidays and he was

58:08 telling us uh you know older older member

58:11 of the family said I'm redoing my closet.

58:15 I redoing okay.

58:17 He's like yeah cuz the way I see myself now is more like James Bond.

58:21 I'm going to express myself like that at this stage of my life.

58:23 I was like it's cool.

58:24 All right bro you know it was like all right.

58:27 He was he saw and he was going to build and live into that.

58:30 So I just want to encourage people.

58:31 Your future self can start right now.

58:33 How would your future self express yourself?

58:37 Yes.

58:36 Like my future self asks more questions.

58:38 My future self gets centered.

58:39 My future self is so excited to see people.

58:42 Uh you know I smile at people.

58:43 All these things we've talked about here I think is so important.

58:46 Yeah.

58:46 It's great.

58:46 So that's the expression.

58:47 What would the final E be?

58:49 Or was there an E before that?

58:51 Yeah the final E.

58:52 So it's free.

58:52 F R E E.

58:54 So it's your future self.

58:56 You have a vision and a clarity of the feeling you want.

58:59 Start generating it.

58:59 The responsibilities and how you handle them, handle them that way now.

59:02 The expression of how you express yourself and treat other people.

59:05 Do that now.

59:06 And the last key is is expansion.

59:10 Mhm.

59:10 You've expanded your wealth.

59:12 You've expanded your network.

59:14 You've expanded your skill set.

59:17 You've expanded your impact.

59:19 Every single person has that expansive desire even

59:22 if it's been covered up because the universe is

59:25 expanding and we are multi-dimensionally expanding as human

59:29 beings at all times at all stages of maturity.

59:32 And so how have you expanded in the future?

59:35 How are you a bigger person?

59:37 How are you having more impact?

59:38 How are you earning more?

59:39 Where is the growth of where you're going to go?

59:43 So you have to see and imagine and think about expansion.

59:46 And I want to talk about Lewis real fast everybody on this because

59:48 this is a real example in real time we were talking about today.

59:52 He like there's a stage in where Lewis

59:53 sees himself expressing himself a as a handball player.

59:58 Mhm.

59:58 Right.

59:59 But I don't know if everyone knows

1:00:00 but Lewis just bought a handball team an organization.

1:00:04 He expanded from I'm a individual player owning to I own a team.

1:00:09 Dude, tell us about that cuz that's like people

1:00:10 don't usually think that way but it's really aspirational.

1:00:13 This is the interesting thing you know.

1:00:14 I'm gl I'm glad you said that because I was

1:00:16 thinking about this when you were going over the expression.

1:00:18 My natural expression in high school and college as I started playing,

1:00:23 you know, sports at a higher level um was I was the receiver.

1:00:28 I was never the quarterback.

1:00:30 I was a role player.

1:00:31 I was never the star player.

1:00:33 I never wanted to be like this vocal leader.

1:00:35 It wasn't my natural preference or like my comfort zone.

1:00:40 But I could train really hard.

1:00:42 you tell me what to do and I could master that one role on the team.

1:00:45 You know, 11 players on football or five guys on a basketball team.

1:00:49 I was like, just give me the ball.

1:00:51 Let me score and do my job.

1:00:53 But I don't want to be communicating.

1:00:54 I don't want to be like leading.

1:00:56 I was like, just let me do my thing.

1:00:59 It was very uncomfortable to get outside of that comfort zone.

1:01:02 And my normal preference was to do the best I can do as a role player,

1:01:07 but not be a leader communicating.

1:01:08 I have had to train myself over the last 20

1:01:11 years to get out of this preference of just let me

1:01:16 be in my role and do well as a part of the team to let me lead the team as well.

1:01:20 And this doesn't mean I have to take over and control the team,

1:01:23 but how can I be a leader?

1:01:25 And still today, it's like not a com it's

1:01:27 not a natural state of mind to lead the team.

1:01:32 But I know my future self needs me to continue to do that and show

1:01:36 up that way to practice it if I want to create this desired result.

1:01:40 I have to develop the competence and the confidence

1:01:43 of leadership in a different way than only playing well

1:01:48 but also playing well, managing a team well,

1:01:51 connecting with every player individually, connecting with the team as a group.

1:01:55 There's different skills you need to develop

1:01:57 as a leader that's different than just playing by itself.

1:02:03 Yes.

1:02:02 And so how do I play well and lead well and you know

1:02:06 navigate the finances of the team and navigate it's like so much more.

1:02:10 But I'm like I feel this will help me be prep more prepared for the Olympics

1:02:16 by having the skill sets by overcoming

1:02:18 the challenges over the next couple years.

1:02:20 like this is only going to support my future self,

1:02:23 accomplish the dreams, and be ready.

1:02:28 Mhm.

1:02:26 You know, so I'm I'm staying ready so I don't need to get ready.

1:02:30 It's like I'm preparing and being ready now.

1:02:33 So when the time happens, man, I've I've just spent now it's easy,

1:02:37 you know, in two and a half years now.

1:02:39 Now it's natural because I've put in the last

1:02:41 four years of reps to prepare for this.

1:02:44 Just like it's natural for you to be on stage.

1:02:46 Sure, maybe there's a little nerves right before like

1:02:48 you want to make sure it's a good job, but spent 20 years behind the podium now

1:02:53 getting reps to be able to dance and sing

1:02:56 and do breakouts and coach and come back

1:02:58 and remember what you're saying and have joke,

1:03:00 all these different things and make it

1:03:02 a beautiful experience over five days, right?

1:03:04 It's easy now because you put in 20 years.

1:03:06 So for me that's been it's still not a natural state of being,

1:03:11 but it's something I show up to every

1:03:14 single time I have the opportunity to lead.

1:03:17 Even though it's not something I would normally do,

1:03:20 but it's what my future self demands of me.

1:03:23 I love this.

1:03:23 You know, it's like the future goal demands

1:03:26 I get out of my comfort zone every time.

1:03:28 Yeah.

1:03:29 Are you hearing the call of your future?

1:03:33 Yes.

1:03:32 And heeding it by showing up into that expansion.

1:03:35 Yes.

1:03:35 You're like, you're showing up into team expansion,

1:03:38 you know, where you show up into expansion of this media empire.

1:03:41 You show up in expansion of the team here and the handball team there.

1:03:45 Your family's expanding.

1:03:46 Same thing with the family stuff, too.

1:03:47 I was very comfortable for 15 years.

1:03:49 I lived in a two-bedroom apartment.

1:03:51 And I would just kind of bounce around from a parchment apartment,

1:03:54 maybe spend a little bit more on a nicer apartment,

1:03:56 but it was like my preference is minimal, two-bedroom apartment, nice.

1:04:02 Okay, maybe I have a door man now.

1:04:03 But it's like I don't need bigger, right?

1:04:06 I was like, I liked my comfort zone.

1:04:08 I knew where everything was.

1:04:10 I could manage it all.

1:04:10 There was not no one's coming over here.

1:04:12 It's like I got my space.

1:04:14 But my future self, you know, 10 years in the future was like, gosh,

1:04:18 but I have a dream of having children and walking around a house with laughter

1:04:23 in the halls and hearing laughter and play in different rooms and having family.

1:04:28 I was like, I really want family to be and visit me more.

1:04:31 I need more space.

1:04:32 They can't visit, right?

1:04:34 I want her family, her extended family to be able to come

1:04:36 as well and have different like

1:04:38 families coming together and activities and holidays.

1:04:40 And I was like, and I want to have a sanctuary where

1:04:43 I could also have my podcast set up if I need it.

1:04:45 If there's another co, I could do it at home.

1:04:48 I have a backyard where I can have friends over and play pickle ball

1:04:51 and I have a gym and I can do everything I need to do.

1:04:55 And that was expensive to think of that of like investing in a home.

1:05:00 And I remember I was going back and forth.

1:05:02 I live in this beautiful home.

1:05:03 Me and Martha have a beautiful home for the last three years.

1:05:05 It's my first home that I got at 40.

1:05:08 And I'll be 43 here in a couple months.

1:05:12 And as I was going through buying the pro the buying process,

1:05:16 I remember feeling like this resistance in my chest.

1:05:19 I go, man, that's a lot of money.

1:05:20 It's like, man, I'm going to have like zero dollars in the bank

1:05:23 after I put all this down and then the expense every month.

1:05:26 It's just a new zone that I'm not comfortable with.

1:05:32 Mhm.

1:05:31 And I remember I was talking to a coach that I had at the time cuz I really

1:05:36 believe in investing in coaches and masterminds and communities

1:05:41 that support you in seeing a greater version of you.

1:05:44 Right?

1:05:45 This is why we have our mastermind with Ultra.

1:05:48 We have hundreds of members in there who

1:05:50 are investing and getting closer to their future selves.

1:05:55 And I have that personally as well, right?

1:05:57 It's like I'm investing in support and coaches and mentorships.

1:06:02 And I had this call with her and I was like,

1:06:05 Claire, it's like help me get through this.

1:06:08 Like, is this worth spending all my money that I

1:06:11 have right now in this down payment for a home?

1:06:14 And she was like, what would your future self, you're turning 40 soon,

1:06:18 what would you at 50 say to you right now?

1:06:21 And I literally went into the future and timeraveled

1:06:24 and I was just like I had future hindsight.

1:06:28 I was thinking in the future as I was looking back on my life and I was like

1:06:33 my 50-year-old self would say this was the best investment you ever made.

1:06:37 This is the

1:06:38 sure it's going to be uncomfortable for 6 months or maybe a year because

1:06:41 your bank account's going to be zero and you're going to feel this pain.

1:06:44 But you're going to look back and say that was like the easiest investment.

1:06:47 That was the greatest investment.

1:06:48 You had a decade or plus of joy,

1:06:51 love, laughter, play, family, connection, games.

1:06:56 It provided this sanctuary for all your dreams to come true, right?

1:07:01 And so I had this conversation with my current self from my future self

1:07:06 and I was like, that was the decision.

1:07:09 Now, it doesn't mean it's comfortable.

1:07:10 It doesn't mean there's not some, you know, risk there.

1:07:13 There's a new way of being when I'm used

1:07:15 to living in a two-bedroom apartment for 15 years.

1:07:19 But man, it's been the greatest decision over the last three years.

1:07:22 It's been like every day I wake up like, "God, I'm so grateful for this space.

1:07:25 This is a dream every day." And I think

1:07:28 that um what's the fifth thing you were talking about?

1:07:31 Expansion.

1:07:32 Expansion.

1:07:32 You expanded.

1:07:33 It's like it doesn't mean it's going to be comfortable.

1:07:36 It's not comfortable to lead when you've never had the training on how to lead.

1:07:39 It's not comfortable to invest when you're not sure if it's going to pay off.

1:07:45 But that commitment, that action is going to create expansion.

1:07:50 And that's the only way you can really

1:07:52 create the abundance you're looking for in your life.

1:07:54 Yes.

1:07:54 Yeah.

1:07:55 And you did it.

1:07:56 And and you allowed that communication to happen

1:07:59 with the future from an optimistic Yes.

1:08:01 You know, believing place

1:08:04 versus shutting yourself down with negative selft talk or catastrophizing.

1:08:07 You you allowed that dialogue to happen with the future and you played with it.

1:08:12 Yes.

1:08:12 You asked a coach.

1:08:14 You got around people.

1:08:14 I'm sure you ask your friends like, "Okay, how does this work?" And you like,

1:08:18 you have to allow the dialogue of the future to happen.

1:08:21 That is how you connect with destiny is through dialogue with your future self.

1:08:26 Yeah.

1:08:26 We always think destiny is so much about hardcore action.

1:08:28 Like it's a dialogue first.

1:08:30 It's a it's a dialogue you're having in your mind.

1:08:32 It's decisions you're making along the way.

1:08:34 It's how you're showing up each day.

1:08:35 And all of a sudden now it's it

1:08:36 manifests a reality and you have this beautiful house.

1:08:38 I've been there.

1:08:39 I've seen the pickle ball court.

1:08:40 It's like you have this stunning stunning beautiful compound.

1:08:43 Yeah.

1:08:44 You know, it's unbelievable.

1:08:45 It was scary at first cuz I was like this is something I've never done.

1:08:49 I'm not comfortable with.

1:08:50 I don't know how to do it.

1:08:51 I don't know what I'm going to do to generate more money quickly.

1:08:53 So I'm not at zero in my bank account.

1:08:55 Like all the unknowns.

1:08:58 But as you're talking about having

1:08:59 a dialogue with your future, something that Dr.

1:09:01 Jodispenza talks about he says remember the future.

1:09:05 I've heard him say this when I've interviewed him a bunch.

1:09:07 He's like we need to learn how to remember

1:09:08 the future not emphasizing the pain of the past.

1:09:12 When we hold on to the fear of well I did

1:09:14 this thing in the past and it hurt when this happened.

1:09:17 I took a risk on love and I got screwed over.

1:09:20 I did this thing in this business and I lost my money.

1:09:23 If we stay in the past and create from the past pains,

1:09:28 we're not going to create some beautiful future.

1:09:30 We need to remember a future of the result we're looking to create.

1:09:34 And going back to the feeling you want to have in the future,

1:09:38 the responsibilities it takes, the expression and the expansion.

1:09:41 It's like if you have to if you want to remember

1:09:43 the future of like you have this dream home, this dream career,

1:09:46 this dream business, this dream relationship, this dream health,

1:09:50 you have to have the feeling now, which is what I'm going to hear you say.

1:09:53 You have to take on the responsibility of doing the actions of the future now.

1:09:57 Yes.

1:09:58 And you may not have to pay off for years.

1:10:00 You may not see this result overnight

1:10:03 and expressing yourself from the future as well.

1:10:06 And then stepping into that expansion.

1:10:08 And I think when people can start to use this framework of free

1:10:12 that you've shared and I know you have more in the book,

1:10:14 high performance habits.

1:10:17 When you make that investment in this, your life is completely going to change,

1:10:22 right?

1:10:22 Cuz you're showing up now.

1:10:24 Yes.

1:10:24 for that future dream and all the responsibilities and the joys with it.

1:10:28 Now it just it otherwise what people do is you just go through the day.

1:10:32 Yeah.

1:10:32 And you're in stimulus and response throughout the day.

1:10:34 There's no higher intention or higher aspiration.

1:10:37 And if you actually talk with people about how they want to change their life,

1:10:41 it is that they want to feel the day differently.

1:10:44 Even if the same circumstances suck,

1:10:47 they want to go through it and sense it in a different way.

1:10:50 But you won't do that if all you do

1:10:51 is connect with the problems in the way today.

1:10:54 You have to connect with something in the future.

1:10:57 It's so hard to get people.

1:10:58 I love that.

1:10:58 Remember the future to to me it really is about knowing I'm

1:11:03 either operating from stimulus and response

1:11:05 and my minimal homeostasis baseline Brendan.

1:11:10 Y minimal self or aspirational self who showed up and won the day.

1:11:15 I it doesn't mean I don't have hours where I don't fall

1:11:17 into comfort or impatience or I'm not my best during an interview or whatever.

1:11:22 The minimal self shows up.

1:11:24 It's a ratio.

1:11:27 Does the aspirational show up and win the day more often than the minimal self?

1:11:32 And once you've I promise everyone listening once you're

1:11:34 in the aspirational self more often you find yourself higher performing

1:11:39 your results get better people are attracted to you.

1:11:42 You're in better groups.

1:11:43 You're leveling up the the peer set the success around you.

1:11:46 You're attracting different things.

1:11:48 And the weird thing is by making those hard choices things start getting easier.

1:11:53 Yes.

1:11:52 And you're like oh this this feels good now.

1:11:55 Not 5 years from now.

1:11:56 It's like it's starting to feel good now cuz I'm being responsible.

1:11:59 I'm handling these things.

1:12:00 And you handling life better and experiencing and generating into life

1:12:06 better makes you better.

1:12:08 And it makes today better, not some distant decade or, you know, 50 years.

1:12:12 You'll get there.

1:12:12 You'll your compound actions will lead into that, but you

1:12:16 might as well get to enjoy it today with that intention 100%.

1:12:18 And again, every day, today is all we have in this moment.

1:12:23 And do you want to live a crappy day or a beautiful day?

1:12:27 You know, you talked about the the minimal self and the aspirational self.

1:12:31 There's a great story or analogy about the two wolves that each one of us has.

1:12:36 The good wolf and the bad wolf inside of you.

1:12:39 And whichever one wins is the one you feed.

1:12:41 The wolf you feed that day inside of you.

1:12:43 And I, you know, I could have all the self-doubt and insecurity and anger

1:12:47 and frustration in the world if I chose to feed those parts of me.

1:12:51 Yes.

1:12:51 And I can also have all the joy

1:12:53 and beauty and gratitude and appreciation and generosity

1:12:57 and possibility thinking as well if I choose

1:13:00 to feed that part those parts of me daily.

1:13:05 Yes.

1:13:04 And if you want to live in a minimal part of your life,

1:13:08 feed those doubts and insecurities and speak about them and own

1:13:12 them and take and just let them take over your life.

1:13:15 Or say, I'm going to create a new life and I'm going to feed possibilities more.

1:13:20 I'm going to feed joy more, beauty, more, you know,

1:13:24 I'm going to I'm going to feed um forgiveness more.

1:13:27 I'm going to feed these things so I have more peace inside

1:13:30 of me and therefore I can create the freedom in my life.

1:13:34 Which again, going back to your free acronym,

1:13:36 I think a lot of people want to feel loved.

1:13:39 They want to feel free.

1:13:40 If you're not willing to take on life and new possibilities,

1:13:44 then you're going to always get what you've always had.

1:13:46 Mhm.

1:13:47 And again, I invest in coaching, in mentorship,

1:13:52 in deep personal relationships as well and masterminds.

1:13:57 And you have your book, High Performance Habits,

1:14:00 that helps people become extraordinary in their lives if

1:14:03 they're willing to take on new things in their lives.

1:14:06 Mhm.

1:14:07 And I want this conversation, I hope people go back and listen to this and watch

1:14:11 this over and over again cuz I want you,

1:14:13 everyone watching, listening to assess your life and just

1:14:17 say on a scale of 1 to 10, where am I at in my life?

1:14:21 Do I feel like my life's at a 10 in my health,

1:14:24 my relationships, my finances, my purpose?

1:14:27 Am I at a 10 or close to it?

1:14:29 Or am I down in the 2, three, four, five in certain areas?

1:14:32 And just take a simple internal assessment and ask yourself where am I at?

1:14:37 And do I want to live a life at a two,

1:14:39 three, four, or five or eight, nine or 10?

1:14:43 How do I want to live my life?

1:14:44 Do I want to be below a five or above an eight?

1:14:48 Not saying you'd have a perfect day, a 10 every day in every area.

1:14:51 But ask yourself that question.

1:14:53 And if you're not living above a seven right now,

1:14:57 it's time to start seeing where you can make changes, right?

1:15:00 and where you can take responsibility in your life to start

1:15:04 feeling different daily to draw on the future you want for yourself.

1:15:08 And we have a coaching program and a mastermind.

1:15:10 If if people want coaching and mentorship in a group mastermind setting with us,

1:15:16 they can go and check it out.

1:15:18 We'll have it linked up in the podcast or on the YouTube description,

1:15:21 or you can go right to lehouse.com/tra to learn more.

1:15:26 This is where you get to meet us

1:15:27 in person multiple times throughout the year in-person live events,

1:15:31 but also on an ongoing monthly basis virtually.

1:15:35 We'll share more about exactly what's involved and what

1:15:38 it's we just started it a few months ago.

1:15:40 It's been an amazing launch.

1:15:42 The people are so fired up.

1:15:43 It's incredible.

1:15:44 Taking action.

1:15:45 They're getting results.

1:15:46 The best teaching I've ever seen you do in Ultra.

1:15:49 Wow.

1:15:49 That was one of my I shared in a previous podcast.

1:15:51 I was like that was the it was for me expansive watching you do that on stage

1:15:56 for a day with our people.

1:15:57 It was just incredible.

1:15:59 I think it's been fun.

1:16:00 Yeah.

1:16:01 Put you back in that mentorship teaching role which

1:16:03 is so powerful because you have you've come so far

1:16:06 and you have so much to share with these people.

1:16:08 So I'm I'm glad you're doing that in Ultra and it's an honor to do it with you.

1:16:11 I'm excited.

1:16:12 And so if people are interested in really having

1:16:14 accountability and responsibility and ownership of their future results,

1:16:19 now is the time to take action and start shifting these things.

1:16:22 And if you want that support,

1:16:24 if you want that investment in your life for your future self,

1:16:28 then go to lis house.com/tra.

1:16:30 All the information will be there.

1:16:32 But this has been powerful, man.

1:16:34 I'm sure we could go on for another few hours on this, but again,

1:16:36 if you want to have a transformational life,

1:16:40 it starts here with high performance habits and really assessing

1:16:44 your life and seeing what it takes to get there.

1:16:46 This has been powerful.

1:16:47 Brendan Bashard, thank you so much for being here.

1:16:49 I appreciate I love you, brother.

1:16:51 So good.

1:16:52 You either use stress or stress uses you.

1:16:55 Yes.

1:16:54 And the way you use stress is, you know, the whole old whole phrase they say,

1:16:57 you know, when you're going through hell, keep going.

1:17:00 Yeah.

1:16:59 If you keep going, three things happen.

1:17:02 Number one, you discover how strong you really are.

1:17:05 You It's the only way you're going to find it is to push through it.