Why I'm not quitting YouTube (yet)

0:00 I've lived what feels like many lifetimes on YouTube I

0:05 don't feel like the same person as when I started

0:07 at 20 years old almost 10 years ago and the 10e

0:10 mark seems to be a time that a lot of people

0:12 decide to stop and move on to something else which

0:15 in many ways I really understand so today I'd like

0:18 to sit down kick back and talk about the times

0:20 that I've considered quitting and ultimately why I'm not at least not

0:25 for now it seems to me that it's very easy

0:30 to lose control over your process as a Creator and end

0:33 up in a life that no longer feels like your own

0:36 I also think that a lot of people start YouTube

0:39 when they're young and the topic that they chose to pursue

0:41 at that time May no longer be fitting to them

0:44 10 years later down the line I think that as we

0:46 grow as humans as we explore and learn more about life

0:50 and the world around us maybe what we found interesting

0:53 at 17 18 19 20 years old is very different

0:56 as we grow into our 30s I also think that it's

0:59 very possible that you reach a point where you feel like

1:01 you've explored every possible format within this realm of creativity

1:05 so many of us find ourselves in a rat race it

1:09 might sound a little dramatic but I can assure you

1:11 that every single creator that I know including ourselves have felt stuck

1:15 in one at one point or another in our world

1:18 that was at the end of 2019 at the start of 2020

1:21 I'd never felt more stuck in a rat race

1:23 in my entire life I felt completely restricted by the weekly upload

1:28 schedule which came in complete conflict with this idea that we'd

1:31 had for starting the channel in the very first place

1:33 which was to live a life Without Regrets and to live

1:36 our Dream Life traveling the world but now it felt like

1:40 a restriction it did not feel like the feeling that we

1:43 had at the very beginning it started to feel like

1:45 this monotonous routine-based job with an enormous amount of pressure

1:50 to perform that no longer was fun when you are expected

1:55 to be the fun wholesome friends who travel the world

1:58 and have fun together which we were but when that's set

2:01 on a schedule on a weekly schedule and there is

2:04 very little room for rest there's very little room for reflection

2:08 and your lack of sleep eventually catches up with you

2:11 it doesn't matter how incredible the experience is if you can't

2:14 be present for it it's very very challenging to actually

2:18 enjoy any part of it and the challenge I believe is

2:21 that there is no real structure or advice or help

2:24 for creators that find themselves in this situation at this point we

2:28 were experiencing a lot of upset and downs in our moods

2:31 and in our lives and it didn't mean that we weren't

2:33 enjoying making the videos I think the problem was that we

2:37 were so busy making the videos that it didn't feel

2:40 like we had anything that existed out theide of them

2:43 I remember having a Sunday off at some point in 2019

2:47 and it was the first day off that I'd taken

2:49 in a few months and I remember spending most of the day

2:53 Crying by myself as I slowly realized that I didn't

2:56 really know what my life was outside of this the cycle

3:00 of making videos I hadn't taken a moment to figure

3:04 out how I like to rest and getting to this point

3:07 is what it took for me to realize that I developed

3:10 an unhealthy relationship with YouTube the problem is without a weekly

3:15 upload rate your Revenue goes down your subscriber growth goes

3:19 down people's habit of watching you on the same day

3:21 at the same time every week goes away so there's

3:24 a whole other pile of issues that add up when you decide

3:27 to pull away or take a break or limit your upload

3:30 Cadence so at some point I had to zoom out

3:33 and had to get a shift in perspective and Co

3:37 kind of allowed me to do that but it has taken

3:39 me a few years to really figure out what it

3:41 is that I want out of this YouTube career that I

3:45 found myself in and there's a passage from a book

3:49 that I really enjoyed called the psychology of money uh by Morgan

3:53 housel that I think put things into perspective in a way

3:56 that I really enjoyed and I will read this short

3:59 passage to to you if expectations rise with results there is

4:03 no logic in striving for more because you'll feel the same

4:06 after putting in extra effort it gets dangerous when the taste

4:10 of having more more money more power more Prestige increases

4:14 ambition faster than satisfaction in that case one step forward

4:19 pushes the goal post two steps ahead you feel as if

4:23 you're falling behind and the only way to catch up

4:25 is to take a greater and greater amounts of risk

4:29 this really me because I think that I realized that as soon

4:33 as I hit a milestone I barely had a moment

4:36 before I was already thinking about the next one

4:39 and by that point your first Milestone is to hit a million

4:43 subscribers and then it might move to five and then

4:45 to 10 and so they're growing at this increased speed and so

4:48 you never have time to be satisfied at any point

4:51 in your life so I decided to ask myself do I

4:55 want more subscribers at the cost of my happiness my answer

4:59 was no do I care about making more money by uploading

5:02 weekly at the cost of my peace and having a life

5:05 that I actually enjoy my answer was also no so

5:09 then why am I arbitrarily torturing myself and I think

5:13 having this moment of realization slowly throughout time has allowed me

5:16 to shift the way that I've chosen to do things

5:19 which I'll get into in a moment unfortunately I think burnout

5:22 can come from a lot of different places and one

5:25 of them I think is losing control over how fast your operation

5:29 escapes ing you go from being this solo Scrappy creator

5:33 making videos that you feel inspired to create to all

5:35 of a sudden having an army of employees that you've hired

5:39 to help you but that you now have the pressure to continue

5:42 making videos for to be able to pay it's kind

5:45 of ending up being in this tricky situation where you were

5:49 meant to hire to take things off your plate but you

5:51 end up adding more pressure now I don't want to make

5:54 this about the system but I do really believe

5:57 that the productivity expectation that comes with capitalism pushes us to create

6:02 more to stri for more to grow faster and ultimately

6:06 leaves you almost feeling like with no other choice and although

6:10 I am still a very driven person and care deeply

6:13 about continuing to create at the highest possible level that I

6:16 feel I'm capable of I no longer want those aspirations

6:20 to continuously get in the way of my peace because if

6:24 most of my career is filled with Stress and Anxiety

6:28 how is the dream job that I supposedly have really better

6:32 than any other and in order to have this dream job

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7:52 back into how I have tackled this world of YouTube since

7:57 2020 so I shifted gears and perspective a bit I

8:01 decided to embrace the upload rate of every 2 weeks

8:04 on yes Theory allowing myself to increase the level of ambition

8:08 I have in the stories themselves while feeling like I have

8:10 a bit more of a sustainable travel Rhythm I accepted

8:14 that the channel will potentially grow slower and we may generate

8:17 less overall Revenue which I can assure you was not

8:21 an easy decision to make I've embraced my creativity as a lifelong

8:25 Pursuit rather than this short-term Sprint that I'm trying to squeeze

8:30 as much as I can get out of while I

8:32 have this moment on YouTube I instead am aspiring to have

8:36 a rhythm that I feel like I can grow up

8:38 with and that still leaves some room in my weekly

8:42 life to allow myself to dream about future projects alongside what

8:46 I'm currently doing last year as some of you know was

8:49 a very difficult year for me and I ended up asking

8:52 a family friend of ours his name is ragna G

8:55 he is a musical composer who has written one of Sweden's

8:58 most iconic film soundtracks he's in his 70s and still

9:02 feels inspired to create music so I asked him how do

9:06 you do it and he had this very simple beautiful

9:09 answer which I love and really stuck with me which is

9:13 I still feel like I've have something left to say

9:17 and I think as an artist it's the most beautiful way

9:20 of putting it because I think every single person who

9:22 starts making videos or music or writing feels like there's something

9:26 within them that needs to come out they have to put

9:28 it out almost don't have a choice and to me

9:33 the way that he put it made it extremely clear

9:36 that I am myself not done at some point I do have

9:40 a feeling that I will likely want to move my creativity

9:43 elsewhere and explore new formats explore new ways of expressing myself

9:47 but for the time being I do still feel like

9:50 I have at least a few more years of feeling very

9:52 driven to pursue what I'm in the middle of right

9:55 now my ambition is really to create the travel Adventure Show

10:00 with a strong sense of purpose that I want to see

10:02 on YouTube there are some amazing travel shows on YouTube

10:06 but I feel that the way that we explore it

10:09 and the way that we do it is very unique to us

10:12 and I don't feel that we've finished I feel like

10:15 there are still so many stories around the world that deserve

10:18 a yes Theory style adventure story to be told about them

10:22 and I can't wait to find them I am also going

10:25 to try a storytelling type of format on this channel

10:29 which this is kind of the first iteration of my future

10:32 videos will probably be a bit less specific to YouTube

10:36 and will be more specific to personal development stories that I've experienced

10:39 in my life and am currently in the middle

10:42 of and stories that I find in incredibly interesting from around

10:45 the world in locations that I don't believe that I will

10:48 ever travel to to tell the story of so I think

10:51 that this will be a place for me to explore

10:54 a different kind of Storytelling where I'm not travel adventuring out

10:58 in the world but but we are simply having a conversation

11:01 I look forward to a more productive year of stories I

11:04 feel more centered and at peace and focused and clear

11:07 on what direction I want to take and for that reason

11:11 I feel very far away from burnout at least

11:13 in this very moment the lesson that I think anyone could take

11:18 from this YouTube turmoil that the platform seems to be

11:21 experiencing at the moment is to check in whether the drive

11:25 that you currently have actually matches the life you want

11:28 to live I think it's very hard for so many of us

11:30 to predict what we want in life until we've experienced

11:33 it and so that's why I think it's so common

11:36 to end up in a life situation that wasn't really what

11:40 you expected it to be or maybe didn't pan out like

11:42 you meant it to be and I think that certain

11:46 milestones in life like turning 30 or doing something for 10

11:50 years seems to serve like a reflecting moment for a lot

11:52 of people and I think if that's happening to you

11:55 or has happened to you I see it as an invitation

11:58 to to check in with yourself and see what aspect

12:01 of your life could be more aligned with your values

12:04 and your priorities I am a strong believer in gradual sustainable change

12:09 rather than these overnight Spurs of energy of completely Reinventing

12:14 Your Life based on my own personal experience I haven't seen

12:17 those Spurs of desire to change everything in your life

12:20 at once to really pan out to be that sustainable so what

12:24 are some of the first decisions that you can make

12:27 that will create that posit positive domino effect in your life

12:30 what bad habit can you focus on trying to break

12:34 first what positive habit could you be aiming to be more

12:37 disciplined about as I've grown up I've realized that peace

12:40 in my life is the most valuable thing I could get

12:43 but also that feeling creatively fulfilled is a part of me

12:47 finding that peace so I will continue to pursue my greatest

12:51 creative potential in what I hope will be a multi-decade

12:55 career filled with a myriad of interesting and unique unque projects

13:00 so yes for the time being I am not quitting YouTube

13:04 even though it has stretched me to my limits a numerous

13:07 amount of times at the moment I'm feeling creatively excited

13:11 I am curious and I still feel like I have something

13:14 left to say please subscribe to this channel would mean

13:17 the world to us I think this is going to be

13:18 the place where if you are interested in specifically the yes

13:21 fam aspect of our community this will probably be the main

13:25 place for it I look forward to continuing to explore

13:27 these formats uh if you have thoughts uh on this format

13:31 let me know on how I can improve it how

13:32 I can make it more exciting I would love to read

13:34 your comments down below so let me know what you

13:36 think about what I've spoke about in this story and let

13:39 me know any thoughts you might have to me I would

13:42 be happy to hear them and I look forward to seeing

13:45 you soon wherever that is I don't know where because

13:50 I don't know when this one is going up you you

13:54 might see me on that other channel you might see

13:57 me on here soon I'm not sure actually it all depends

14:01 everything's up in the air sometimes and you can't always You

14:03 Can't Always Get What You Want You know okay bye-bye now