CROC: this movie altered my brain chemistry

0:00 crack crack crack crack crack crack crack what's up Greg and welcome back

0:07 to another episode of cry if you've watched my channel for a long

0:10 time you may remember me making a video about the movie Standing Ovation

0:14 like 5 years ago and you might think that that movie should have

0:18 nothing to do with the movie we're going to be watching today Croc

0:22 because well Standing Ovation is about a rag tag group of girls competing

0:26 in a singing and dancing competition while Croc is about a man eating

0:29 crocodile brutally murdering dozens of people come to think of it in Standing

0:32 Ovation I don't think even one person is brutally murdered by a crocodile

0:36 but the movies are related nonetheless because

0:39 they were both directed by this man

0:42 Stuart Raffi Stuart directed Standing Ovation

0:45 he directed Croc he directed another movie called badir Island which I'm

0:49 very curious about and he also coincidentally

0:52 directed Mack and me that ET ripoff from the'80s that Drew has talked

0:56 about on his channel and also Paul Rudd always used to bring a clip

0:59 of on Conan this man has a prolific career of creating lowbudget films

1:04 that leave you questioning if what you just watched could even be considered

1:08 a movie and today I'm pleased to report that Croc is no different

1:15 this movie starts off with a little origin story for the Croc you're

1:18 probably wondering why he goes on this murderous Rampage is he hungry is

1:22 he some kind of mutant uh no it's because two fishermen wake him

1:27 up with a bomb hey man I get it don't wake me up

1:33 with a bomb either until I've had my morning coffee am I right

1:36 or until I've had my morning two fishermen because the crocodile leaps

1:40 from his resting place breaks the boat in half and the fishermen try to swim

1:44 away but they're not fast enough for the Croc all right man

1:48 what was your strategy here what are you doing why are you even

1:51 in that position that's not going to help you get away maybe if I

1:54 just pretend I'm already dead he won't be mad at me anymore maybe he'll

1:57 feel guilty and then he won't want to eat my whole head oh

2:01 no he ate my whole head now I know what you guys want

2:04 you just want me to go through and show you all the scenes

2:07 where somebody gets eaten by the crocodile you know how I know that because

2:10 this whole movie is on YouTube and all of the most rewatched

2:12 parts are the parts where somebody gets eaten by the crocodile but first

2:15 the movie has to introduce all the characters and set up the plot

2:20 and the story but hey at least the plot of this movie probably mostly

2:24 revolves around the crocodile right well

2:29 good morning everybody Welcome to Jack's Farm

2:32 good morning good morning most of the first half of this movie is

2:37 about this sort of local business dispute between the main character Jack

2:41 and the owner of a construction company

2:43 K song it's okay ladies and gentlemen nothing

2:49 to worry about not terrorism it's just a neighbor do his own construction

2:52 Kong's still trying to get you out every day you see Jack an American

2:56 man living in Thailand owns a zoo which is right right in the way

3:00 of a road that Kong wants to build so he's been trying

3:03 every trick in the book to get Jack out of his farm

3:05 to get him to give it up including sending an investigator from the Department

3:09 of Animal Welfare to investigate him Department

3:12 of Animal Welfare Evelyn she said she's

3:14 responding to a citizen's complaint congratulations we're

3:18 having a new promotion at the park

3:19 and you happen to be the 50th customer of the day what do

3:22 I win a sushi dinner for two at any restaurant on the beach

3:26 well maybe you should consider feeding your animal instead of me actually that's

3:31 a courtship but is he Crocs are the most vocal and sexually aggressive

3:35 of all the reptiles oh no no no don't worry that cocodile doesn't

3:38 want to eat you he wants to sleep with you but unfortunately she's

3:43 mine so back off does that make you feel better she's not having

3:48 it but don't worry Jack's not getting his farm shut down he's the main

3:51 character of this story he knows how to treat his animals he's

3:54 a good old American Boy USA USA weevils you're feeding your bird's parasites Mr

4:01 mcade you have problems with your food bins your water systems polluted I

4:06 drink that water myself your Meats

4:07 aren't fresh enough because your refrigerators aren't

4:09 Co oh wait hold on why does it sound like he's not taking

4:12 care of his animals I don't know if I'm really rooting for this guy

4:15 per se honestly at this point I'm just rooting for the animals I

4:18 hope they stage a coup and put jack in a cave uh-oh another

4:21 crocodile encounter this little girl is

4:24 swimming right towards him they wouldn't show

4:26 a kid getting murdered would they hi Ro oh few dude thank God

4:35 she said hi that's his weakness do you think when they were writing

4:39 this movie they forgot how hard it is to talk underwater so when

4:43 they went to film this scene they were like oh no what do

4:45 we do uh well we'll just add her saying hi crocodile in a ghostly

4:51 robot voice and post later on Jack is hanging out with his nephew

4:54 and good friend Theo at the bar and we'll get into what they're

4:57 talking about in a second but first can we just appreciate the people

5:00 dancing at the beginning of this [Music] scene something about the way they

5:06 dance is just so captivating do you think the director just said all

5:09 right now everybody dance like a Sim look at this guy in the black

5:12 shirt dude I've never seen anyone dance like this in my life he

5:15 like strikes a little pose halfway through the dance I love extras man

5:18 I want to be him when I grow up his shirt just says

5:20 play while Jack is at the bar throwing back a couple of beers

5:23 with his high school age nephew a detail which is never explained further

5:26 Jack is investigated again this time by the tax Bureau Jack yes Mr

5:32 Fang federal tax Bureau you have been avoiding me for the last 3

5:36 months so his animals are starving and he's not paying his taxes I

5:40 actually feel like the construction company is like the least of Jack's worries

5:44 right now but while Jack is being interrogated by the tax man Theo

5:47 starts flirting with a girl and they devise a plan to help him

5:50 are you Theo's father no I'm am Theo's Uncle oh uncle is he really

5:57 a rich man he's a pretty rich guy yeah that line is my favorite

6:01 line in the whole movie The inflection is so strange he's a pretty

6:05 rich guy yeah you need to meet my sister very good for you

6:09 come if it's okay with you if it's okay with you he's about

6:13 to arrest you for tax evasion but he does let him go he's

6:16 like look man I may be part of the tax Bureau but I'm

6:18 not a block go meet this chick man let me know how it

6:21 goes so Jack yes we are going to start a fire and you are

6:26 going to dive into the ocean what don't worry kind stranger as we've

6:32 grown quite fond of your nephew over these past gosh 12 seconds so

6:37 naturally we decided to help you commit our sin to escape the [Music]

6:50 police and off he goes dude they did that good they must do

6:54 this a lot also I guess the tide must be out cuz they

6:57 told him to dive into the ocean and once he leapt off the thing

6:59 he landed in the sand that could have ended very badly if he

7:02 didn't know that so long suckers oh oh God my legs I'm going

7:11 to prison so they just barely escaped the police and I know what

7:14 you're thinking it must be time to skip town right now that the police

7:18 Animal Welfare tax enforcement and this construction company are all after him

7:23 nope he just goes back to work like nothing happened but not before

7:27 someone else gets killed by a crocodile also not before we talk about

7:30 today's sponsor rocket money I signed up for paramont plus so I could

7:33 watch old seasons of Survivor but unfortunately

7:37 the experience of using Paramount plus

7:39 is so bad that I never use it I don't know if it's just

7:42 the app on my TV specifically but episodes of that show used

7:46 to be shot in a 4x3 aspect ratio but Paramount plus stretches it out

7:50 to widescreen meanwhile all of the ads which are shot in widecreen for some

7:55 reason are squished down to 4x3 also pausing doesn't work it actually took

8:00 me like days to even sign up for Paramount plus I don't know

8:03 why I tried on every device and they just didn't want my money

8:05 for some reason that being said I am very happy that rocket money

8:09 is sponsoring today's video because it gives me a good excuse to complain about

8:12 Paramount plus I stopped using it a while ago but forgot to cancel

8:15 the subscription which is why rocket money comes in handy rocket money safely

8:19 and securely identifies recurring charges and lets

8:22 you cancel those subscriptions with just

8:24 a couple of Clicks in the app you don't need to worry about pesky

8:27 customer service calls you don't need to worry about Jeff probes coming

8:31 to your house to ask you why you're canceling your subscription it just works

8:35 rocket money also has some great budgeting tools you can monitor your spending

8:38 by category create budgets so you can get the most out of your money

8:41 and develop good saving habits rocket money has helped save customers up

8:44 to $740 a year when they use all the features with over $500 million

8:49 in canceled subscriptions so to save more and spend less join the over

8:52 5 million members using rocket money today

8:55 go to Rocket money.com danany or click

8:57 the link in the description to get started with rocket money Mone

8:59 for free and you can also unlock even more features with premium that's rocket

9:03 money.com Danny to get started for free thank you to Rocket money

9:06 for sponsoring this video and thank you to you guys for checking out rocket

9:09 money now back to the video after the whole escaping from the police

9:13 incident two of those teens from the bar decide to go make out

9:16 in the ocean this is great they're smooching they're making out the boy

9:22 goes underwater to I actually don't know what he was planning on doing down

9:26 there it kind of looks like he's going to suck on her toes

9:29 but you know who that attracts The Croc The Croc said hold on Old

9:35 on if anybody's sucking on anybody's toes around here you better believe it's

9:39 going to be the most sexually aggressive reptile so he eats the boy

9:43 and then he eats the girl all while this lone terrified girl

9:45 watches on in horror I love how casually she rides away she is

9:54 in no rush ah a Killer Croc I got to go get help

9:59 but I shouldn't go too fast I got to focus on me I got

10:04 to take care of myself first my sister here saw a young girl

10:07 get attacked by a crocodile are you sure it was a crocodile I'm

10:10 absolutely sure it tail make a big splash and there was lots of blood

10:20 okay What's My Line What's My Line What's My Line okay nailed it

10:25 hopefully they just edit out that 5 Seconds of Silence that night Jack

10:28 is tending to some of his baby crocodiles which sound like lasers for some

10:33 reason when Kong's crew get a genius idea they sneak into the zoo

10:38 and release Jack's adult Crocs who do not sound like lasers that way

10:42 they can make it look like one of them killed those teens

10:45 that night what time did you leave them last night just before dark do

10:49 you have any idea what happened well we still don't know anything yet

10:53 but they may have been swept out by a current or something oh

10:55 yeah no good call no no need to give any Credence to the girl

10:58 who literally saw them get eaten by an alligator now she was

11:00 probably just making it up she probably just wanted attention she's like curled

11:04 up in a corner traumatized somewhere and they're just like stop lying there's

11:08 no such thing as alligators you idiot you killed them didn't you during

11:13 this scene there's a mysterious man just kind of lurking on the sidelines

11:16 of the investigation he's not part of the police he's just there and he's

11:21 mysterious but it seems like he might have a hunch and then suddenly

11:24 the police pull a leg out of the water [Music] do you think

11:30 she could survive with this missing what kind of question is that uh

11:33 maybe she's still alive it's just a leg she might not even noticed

11:36 it fell out like a tooth or something look like some possible tooth

11:40 lacerations here but it could also be a prop old prop what about

11:44 a crocodile you must be joking maybe not well it could be a croc

11:52 or a shark a Croc are you insane you should lose your job

11:56 just for that suggestion uh but yeah it could be that's not going

12:00 to sit very well with the Chamber of Commerce yeah I was just

12:02 thinking the same thing man kid gets eaten by a crocodile first thing

12:06 I'm thinking about is how is the Chamber of Commerce going to react

12:08 so the police show up to interrogate Jack who is frantically looking for all

12:11 the crocodiles he's lost you doing Phil I'm here on official business Jack

12:16 yeah we assumed so you're a police officer and you pulled up with like

12:22 15 other police officers I know what it looks like but no strip

12:26 club tonight Jack yeah I know people are dying I'm here on official

12:31 business unless no dude we have to catch this crocodile before it kills

12:36 again right right yes exactly but what if it's at the strip club

12:41 yo so the girl that Theo was flirting with at the bar is

12:43 having a funeral for her cousin

12:45 and since everyone thinks it was Jack's crocodile

12:47 that ate the cousin they are not very happy when he shows up

12:50 and he is very confused you okay what's the matter he keeps asking

12:58 are you okay hey and what's wrong when everybody doesn't want to talk

13:01 to him dude somebody died what's going on why is everyone so sad Hey

13:06 where's your cousin the ugly one you need to get these kids out

13:09 of the water we've got a Croc out here what kind of Croc

13:13 one that eats people yeah right all right man why' you even ask

13:17 if you weren't going to care what he said he gave you the worst

13:19 answer you could possibly hear while your kids are in the water

13:23 and you were still like ah yeah I don't care but look we know

13:25 from earlier that sure this movie is violent but they would never actually

13:29 show a child getting murdered by a cocen no LZ you got AOS

13:34 tanks yeah what's going on Croc just took a kid where'd it go

13:38 why is everyone so nonchalant after hearing the craziest things Croc just took

13:42 a kid oh word nice I was looking for somewhere to post up

13:46 where did they head to the strip club it's from a different era

13:50 monster from the past my uh grandfather got me a baby croc

13:54 for my 10th birthday why not the best of pets ate my favorite hamster

14:01 yeah he was a crocodile they do that Jack and Evelyn decide to take

14:05 matters into their own hands and go hunting for the crocodile Jack almost

14:09 shoots him but he misses and then he makes it sound like

14:11 a cicada but on the plus side they do meet the mysterious man

14:15 from earlier who finally introduces himself

14:17 oh sorry Hawkins Croc Hawkins his name

14:20 is Croc Croc Hawkins name's Croc now I know what you're thinking but no

14:26 it's not short for crocodile I'm after the shoe and it's time

14:30 for another crocodile [Music] attack I love

14:44 this one because he is getting dragged

14:45 away for so long and they just watch him nobody does anything to help

14:49 they're just like oh man he's dead help I'm not dead there's still

14:55 time it's like I can still hear his voice you sound sounds scared

14:59 while Jack Evelyn and Croc are hunting the Croc the other two villains

15:03 just die they get eaten by the crocodile so I guess that whole

15:11 plot line is just over it's kind of anticlimactic Jack didn't get a chance

15:15 to like triumph over the unjust Corporation they just got devoured

15:19 by a wild beast but good for him I guess now he can tend

15:22 to his malnutritioned animals in peace here you go a shot of OJ

15:27 in your vodka thanks Nector of the Gods thanks I think the one thing that's

15:32 going to help me kill this thing is being super wasted so who

15:35 are all these people anyway you can't have this many friends oh my God

15:40 skewer him man so who are all these people anyway you're way too

15:44 creepy to have this many friends are these people you kidnapped or something

15:48 they're the ones that couldn't run fast enough the ones that couldn't think

15:52 fast enough the ones that couldn't swim fast enough basically just the really

15:57 dumb slow ones one thing that really surprised me about this movie is

16:01 how overwhelmingly positive all of the comments on YouTube are this movie is

16:05 super boring the acting is really bad there are long periods of seemingly

16:09 pointless plot development and yet the YouTube comments seem to love it but they

16:13 are pretty much exclusively all about how pretty the scenery in Thailand is

16:16 and not about the movie or the plot at all so I guess

16:19 that makes sense great movie well

16:20 filmed nice locations beautiful filming never thought

16:23 Thailand was so perfect to Paradise thanks so much yeah well it's not

16:27 that perfect if people keep getting eaten by by alligators is it great

16:30 movie with beautiful scenery thanks do

16:32 these people think that the director invented Thailand

16:35 cuz he didn't it's been around for a while and you can go

16:38 there so they find the Croc and they kill it it's honestly pretty

16:47 unsatisfying I don't know what I was expecting for them to like pull

16:50 off the mask of the alligator and it was the tax investigator all along

16:54 but I was hoping for some kind of closure as to like why

16:57 this happened out out side of two fishermen woke him up with a bomb

17:01 the ending of this movie is very somber they're all just kind

17:03 of traumatized on their little boat until Jack sister asks Croc if the crocodile

17:09 ate his leg I forgot to mention Croc only has one leg I

17:12 don't know if you've noticed that and so you just assume oh he

17:14 must be hunting The Croc because the Croc ate his leg and Croc

17:17 says oh I don't know lost that leg driving forklift in the Navy

17:28 good good good I was hoping this movie would end like an episode

17:32 of The Big Bang Theory well guys thanks for watching this video I

17:34 hope you liked it if you're new here make sure you subscribe and turn

17:37 on my notifications to join Greg I'll see you guys next time bye-bye