Why Jamie Lynn Sigler Wanted to Tell All: Memoir Reveals Eating Disorder, Divorce and MS Secrets

0:01 you know, you're revisiting your past, you know,

0:03 and and you lived with all these secrets,

0:07 [music] you know, these silent battles, uh,

0:09 and you didn't share a lot, and now you are.

0:11 Why was now the right time?

0:12 I felt such shame about the things that I [music] was going through,

0:16 the decisions I had made, the choices I had made.

0:20 I wanted to forget them.

0:22 I wanted to bury them.

0:23 I couldn't bear the burden of the secrets and the pain anymore.

0:28 And I just needed to see if I could live a different way.

0:31 And honesty and vulnerability and authenticity is like

0:38 [music] where actually everyone feels the most comfortable.

0:41 It feels like the scariest way to live, but it's truly the most freeing.

0:46 [music] Some of the secrets Jamie Lynn is sharing.

0:49 She struggled with an eating disorder during the early seasons of The Sopranos.

0:53 For anyone that knows anyone that's lived with an eating disorder or had one,

0:57 you're so out of touch with reality that it's not

1:01 like you could have told me you're going to lose

1:03 your job and I didn't want to do that, but I

1:06 was so at the mercy of [music] the disorder.

1:10 I couldn't see or find my way out until I got professional help.

1:14 You can see the forest for the trees like at all.

1:16 In a lot of ways though, do you feel like the show also helped though, right?

1:19 Because you like were able to clock it and be like, I got to make a change.

1:22 Of course, them still giving me a shot

1:25 and taking a chance on me absolutely saved my life

1:29 and I think really [music] set

1:34 um the the tone for the rest of the show.

1:36 Even though I went through so many struggles during those 10 years,

1:40 it was my safe place to go back to.

1:43 I think

1:44 what was hard for me was I just

1:46 felt like I was disappointing everybody all the time.

1:48 They're my family.

1:50 that we went through something that no one

1:53 else would understand unless you were there, right?

1:55 Unless you went through it.

1:56 Then while filming season four of the HBO [music] drama,

1:59 Jaime Lynn was diagnosed with MS at age 20.

2:02 James Gandalfini.

2:03 Yeah.

2:03 Talk to us about that relationship with James and [music]

2:05 and how the bond really transcended a TV show.

2:08 Really?

2:09 Oh, he knew in the right perfect moment

2:11 where [music] I had a literal breakdown on set,

2:15 even though I think people assumed it was because

2:16 [music] of the scene that we were doing where he

2:19 confronted me and that he knew something was wrong

2:21 and [music] that's when I told him I had MS.

2:23 Still, she kept the disease a secret for 15 years before going public in 2016.

2:29 Physically, I was unable to hide it.

2:31 So, I was having to come up with excuses all the time.

2:34 Yes.

2:34 at work, whether it's um I hurt my knee or I have a bad back or, you know,

2:39 and and people would buy it,

2:41 but [music] probably not fully because it wasn't going away.

2:44 It wasn't getting better.

2:46 ET first met Jamie in 2000 at the season 2 premiere party.

2:50 Okay.

2:50 So, are you excited?

2:51 I'm so excited.

2:52 I'm very overwhelmed tonight.

2:54 I've been looking forward to this for a while.

2:55 I think we all have.

2:57 That's great.

2:57 And what can we expect in the second season?

3:01 Definitely.

3:00 Uh everything from before and more and better.

3:03 They're new characters and you're I have a feeling everybody's going to love it.

3:07 I mean, they really don't know where they

3:08 could go with a lot of the story lines,

3:09 but the writers are pretty smart and [music] they're great.

3:13 Can you believe the success of the show?

3:15 I cannot believe it.

3:15 I mean, two and a half years ago when I was filming the pilot in New Jersey,

3:19 I would have never known that it would have been what it was today.

3:21 So, I find myself extremely lucky with the cast

3:25 and the crew and everything and the fans.

3:28 It's amazing.

3:30 You're grinning ear to ear on that.

3:32 Oh my god, I'm such a baby.

3:33 I look like my niece.

3:35 All I could see was my niece.

3:36 I love my accent so much.

3:38 And [laughter] I tried so I've tried so for so long

3:41 to get rid of it and all I want is [music] it back.

3:43 There it is right there.

3:44 Oh my gosh.

3:45 Honey, what would you tell that girl?

3:46 I'm so proud of her.

3:48 She did do a good job.

3:49 She did.

3:50 Thank you for showing that.

3:51 That's so sweet.

3:53 Getting to a place where she feels proud, honest,

3:56 and authentic has been a journey for Jaime Lynn.

3:59 And now she's opening up about some of her darker days in her new book.

4:03 And so it is a memoir of acceptance and hope out now.

4:08 I think that a lot of my hesitancy to be

4:11 honest as well was my own struggle with accepting my circumstances,

4:16 my own struggle with accepting [music] what was going on in my life,

4:21 whether it was my divorce, my eating disorder, [music] the MS.

4:25 And so just to kind of hide it allowed me to live in a state of denial in a way.

4:30 And then I sort of made a bed that I kind

4:32 of had to live in and I couldn't see my way out.

4:36 And then you know about 2 years ago I

4:38 just found myself in [music] this place of just

4:40 really ready to share in a way that I

4:43 never had without without any labels or without any shame.

4:48 There's so many moments in your life story

4:50 that people are going to be able to relate to.

4:51 Maybe not all of it, but there's going to be parts.

4:53 I think one of those parts is your relationship with your first husband.

4:56 You know, you talk about how it's complicated and there were a lot of red

4:59 flags and then you felt you were even in performer mode at the altar.

5:02 What did that chapter teach you about yourself and what you deserve?

5:06 You know, I think that chapter taught me that um my intuition is strong

5:13 and [music] and to listen to it more, right?

5:16 Um I think it taught me that to have grace for myself.

5:22 I think it taught me I mean it made me [music]

5:24 grow up a lot quicker I think maybe than I would have.

5:28 Um you know it was it was a dark time.

5:33 It was difficult.

5:34 It it it made me untrusting in many ways but also

5:39 solidified my trust in a lot of others in other ways.

5:43 I think it taught me how to [music] lean on pe lean

5:47 on my people even though that my my circle was very small at the time.

5:52 And I think it started to give me a voice a little bit.

5:56 You know, [music] I had I didn't talk to my family for a little while.

5:59 So, it's like I had to really um like find footing on my own

6:04 because I basically went from my parents to him taking care of me.

6:08 And so, I was at 24 years old having to grow up really fast.

6:11 And I was going to say when you go through an experience like that, then

6:14 you recognize the good in a man too

6:16 because then you meet Cutter and you're like,

6:17 "Okay, no, this is what it's supposed to be like, right?" And then you again,

6:21 like you said, you trust your intuition a little bit more.

6:23 Yes.

6:23 And I mean, how long have you and Cutter been together?

6:25 We've [music] been together for 14 years.

6:27 Like that is something.

6:28 What has he meant to you in your life?

6:30 I know that's a big question.

6:31 Yeah.

6:32 Well, I really feel like this book is a lot is a love letter to my husband.

6:36 He um we met each other at a time

6:39 in our lives where we both really needed each other

6:41 and it's kind of another one of those like beautiful

6:44 [music] testaments to the universe and just how it works.

6:47 Um you know he on paper was not the guy

6:50 that I don't think anyone would have chosen for me.

6:52 He was [music] 22-year-old minor league baseball player.

6:54 I was a 30-year-old single like out of work actress.

6:56 Like what?

6:57 Didn't your friends say just hook up and have fun?

6:59 He's going to be they were like he's young.

7:01 He's hot.

7:01 He wants you go.

7:03 And here we are.

7:04 But even while she was writing the book,

7:06 she faced [music] one of the scariest moments of her life.

7:09 Her 12-year-old son, Bo, was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder.

7:13 Unable to walk, eat, or stay awake.

7:15 Doctors weren't sure if he would survive.

7:18 I was in the middle of writing the book when that happened.

7:20 So, all of a sudden, it was like, oh my god,

7:24 [music] everything that I have been through and everything

7:27 that I have learned has armored me for [music] right now.

7:32 So it the book even took a different shape because of that.

7:35 You end the book by a quote that Bo, [music] your son, had said about you.

7:38 Mom, you're my inspiration.

7:39 You're the reason that I am this way.

7:41 You're my idol.

7:42 You work so hard.

7:43 You never give up.

7:44 You're a warrior.

7:45 [music] You go on to say, "My angel boy made me finally believe this.

7:48 It took B saying it to believe it." I mean,

7:52 you're [music] well enough even me sharing that.

7:54 Kids are honest, you know.

7:55 Um I don't think sometimes [music] we or we can take

7:59 for granted and all the things our kids [music] see.

8:04 Um, you know, I've I think I've had the [music] biggest insecurities

8:09 around my MS with being a mom and just feeling like I

8:13 don't [music] do all the things that other moms do and physically

8:17 can't be everywhere and hang the way I would I would choose to.

8:23 So to have my son tell me those words [music]

8:28 um reminds me that MS doesn't take my value away.

8:33 I truly feel like I'm like just starting like I just I feel like yes

8:38 I'm like just starting my career.

8:40 I'm just starting my like and I don't know what's ahead but I am so

8:47 bolstered by the greatest community of people.

8:51 I'm so loved.

8:52 Like everything is a cherry on top.

8:55 And to be able to say that while

8:57 living with MS [music] and the difficulty that brings,

9:00 you know, again, it's just I this is what I hope

9:03 to give to other people is we can't change our circumstances,

9:06 but we can change the way we think about them.

9:09 Amen to that.