The Pig War - OverSimplified

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0:23 (cheering) Look at us, boys, we've only gone and bloody done it.

0:29 We beat the Brits and secured independence.

0:32 Now to expand westward and conquer the rest of the continent.

0:35 Uh, Thomas, it looks like a bunch of different people already live out west.

0:39 (gasps) What?

0:41 Oh, no, that means we can't expand.

0:44 I hate my life.

0:46 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

0:47 I didn't say they were white people.

0:50 (crowd cheering) At the end of the Revolutionary War,

0:58 when the United States secured its independence from Great Britain,

1:00 the two sides met in Paris to settle the terms.

1:03 Among various things, they discussed American territorial gains and the British

1:07 granted them a generous amount of land out west.

1:10 However, Benjamin Franklin appeared to have an additional fascination.

1:14 Oh Canada, so voluptuous.

1:16 You think we can maybe acquire some of that?

1:18 Quit oogling our territory.

1:19 But look at those curves.

1:21 I'd worry less about Canada's curves and more about your own curves, Benjamin.

1:25 (crowd laughing) Many in America suggested that, one day,

1:29 the Canadian colonies should become a part of the United States.

1:32 In response, Britain suggested that many in America should shut the hell up.

1:36 Well, if Britain wasn't gonna give up Canada,

1:39 then the two sides had to agree on where to put their border.

1:42 Easy enough for the most part.

1:43 Follow some existing borders, add in a few rivers and lakes,

1:46 maybe even a parallel for good measure.

1:48 But then there was a question, what would happen here?

1:52 (clock ticking) Straight line?

1:55 Straight line.

1:56 And so it was.

1:57 The border would go from the northwestern

1:58 most point of this perfectly oval shaped lake and continue in a straight line

2:02 westward until it met the Mississippi River.

2:04 Perfect or was it?

2:06 Well as it turned out, the lake didn't actually look like this, but like

2:10 this, and the Mississippi wasn't here, but here.

2:13 So in the end, none of that made even the slightest bit of sense.

2:16 Don't blame the founding fathers, they were just using the best map available,

2:20 blame the guy who made it.

2:21 But to the minds of the day,

2:23 the issue had been solved and it was finally time to start getting along.

2:27 Oh, back to war they go.

2:29 The glorious War of 1812 saw the Americans try

2:33 to invade Canada and the British burn down the White House.

2:36 But when all was said and done, it was pretty much a draw.

2:39 And once again, America and Britain had to enter into peace negotiations.

2:43 By now, both sides realized the original border they

2:45 came up with was a piece of hot garbage.

2:47 And since America had also recently obtained

2:49 a huge amount of land from Napoleon,

2:51 they decided they would need to re-examine the border issue.

2:54 (clock ticking) Straight line?

2:57 Straight line.

2:58 And so it was.

2:59 To fix the problems of the previous border agreement,

3:01 they decided to go from the Northwestern most point of this lake,

3:04 as had been previously agreed, down to the 49th parallel.

3:07 And from there, the line would go straight

3:09 as an arrow up until the Rocky mountains.

3:11 But beyond the Rockies, the two sides couldn't quite agree on where it would go

3:16 next because both sides claimed the territory beyond the Rockies was theirs.

3:20 See, throughout its early history, America as a nation had its eyes heavily

3:25 fixated on all that juicy land out west.

3:28 Ripe for invasion.

3:29 I mean settlementation.

3:31 America wanted to expand.

3:33 Not only was it there right, some believed it was a destiny given to them

3:38 by God himself to multiply and spread across the continent,

3:41 like rats or disease.

3:43 Okay guys, just before we take over everything,

3:45 God definitely said this is what we're meant to do, right?

3:48 (crowd murmuring) And who was it who spoke to God?

3:53 (crowd murmuring) Well, it was one of us.

3:57 There's no way we made this whole thing up to justify ruthless,

4:00 collective imperialist tendencies.

4:01 (crowd cheers) All right.

4:03 Well, in that case, let's get out there and make

4:06 the world a better place just as God intended.

4:08 (crowd cheering) (gunfire) (explosion) This belief in divinely destined

4:18 expansion will later be given its very own name,

4:21 manifest destiny, but America wasn't the only

4:23 one interested in controlling the Western territories.

4:26 At the time, Canada was made up of a number

4:28 of colonies collectively referred to as British North America.

4:31 This one over here was owned by the Hudson's Bay Company,

4:34 a British charter company dedicated to turning as many beavers as possible

4:38 into as many felt hats as possible as quickly as possible.

4:41 And the indigenous people became a key supplier.

4:43 As a result, the British were also eager to control

4:46 the land out west and secure that regions valuable resources.

4:49 And in particular, the great Columbia River

4:52 was deemed vital to the beaver business.

4:54 So when it came to the question of what

4:56 would happen to the border beyond the Rockies,

4:58 the conversation went a little like this.

5:00 The line should keep going straight because we're

5:03 manifestly destined to gain the entire North American continent.

5:07 No, we need this river so we can keep scalping beavers.

5:10 Look, why don't we just draw the border along the river?

5:13 That way we both have access to it.

5:15 Well, that would be a completely fair

5:17 compromise that protects the interests of both parties.

5:19 And there's no way I'm ever going to agree to it!

5:22 Having come to a roadblock, both sides simply agreed that, for now,

5:25 they would jointly occupied the Northwestern territory.

5:28 They were both free to settle and trade there,

5:30 but rest assured the agreement was only temporary.

5:34 Eventually somebody would get their way.

5:37 Listen, yank, we can jointly occupy this land,

5:40 but I ain't sharing anything else.

5:42 I don't want to see you using my toothbrush.

5:44 I don't want to catch you wearing my underwear.

5:46 And I don't want to catch you using

5:49 my computer and selling my data to advertisers.

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6:50 So thank you.

6:52 Now, where were we?

6:53 Oh yeah.

6:55 Bickering over boundaries, manifesting destiny and a joint occupation of Oregon.

7:00 And one man living here,

7:02 who felt the territory should be British, was James Douglas.

7:06 The Hudson's Bay Company's no nonsense chief factor at Fort Vancouver.

7:11 What a beautiful unspoiled corner of the British empire.

7:14 I've got my spotted dick, my spice girls fan club membership,

7:18 and an unrelenting negative outlook on life that affects everyone around me.

7:20 What are you looking at, Steven?

7:22 Yes, truly British.

7:27 What the.

7:28 (noisy crowd) No!

7:34 The problem for men like Douglas was that many Americans had

7:36 already begun streaming up the Oregon trail gun slinging, howdy neighbor,

7:40 and in diarrhea having by the thousands,

7:43 they were pouring into the Oregon territory

7:45 in search of land to settle and farm.

7:47 This however crowded up the fur trade.

7:49 And eventually the very bitter Douglas and the other Hudson's Bay traders

7:52 at Fort Vancouver were ordered to relocate north to a new base of operations.

7:57 But the Americans keep coming and they don't stop coming

7:59 hopped in their wagons and they hit the ground running.

8:01 It didn't make sense to keep sharing Oregon when

8:04 they outnumbered the Brits more than six to one.

8:06 And suddenly the whole joint occupation deal was being called into question.

8:10 Newly elected president Polk maintained that America

8:12 had an obvious claim to the entire region,

8:15 even implying a possible war with Britain.

8:17 Fiery language from U.S.

8:19 senators declared that American rifles would annihilate

8:21 the Hudson's Bay Company in Oregon and America

8:24 even gave Britain notice that it was

8:26 pulling out of the joint occupation agreement.

8:28 The British were alarmed as the two sides stood on the brink of war.

8:32 But in the end, neither truly wanted to fight.

8:35 The British favored maintaining good economic relations while the Americans

8:38 had already gotten themselves into a war with Mexico.

8:41 So after a bit of back and forth, the British finally said, fine.

8:45 You wanted a straight line there, there's your straight line.

8:48 (gunshots) Yeehaw!

8:51 And so the agreement was made.

8:53 The border would continue directly to the Strait of Georgia,

8:55 but because the British insisted they keep Vancouver Island,

8:58 it would then move south through the center

9:00 of the channel and onto the Pacific Ocean.

9:02 Finally, the issue of the Northwest border had been solved.

9:06 (beeping) Hold the phone discrepancy detected, enhance frame 200%.

9:12 (beeping) Enhance.

9:15 (beeping) Enhance.

9:17 (beeping) Nope, too far.

9:20 (screams) Perfect.

9:22 Now show me the exact wording of the treaty.

9:26 The line of boundary goes to the middle of the channel

9:28 and thence southerly through the middle of said channel,

9:32 but there's loads of channels.

9:35 So you tell me, dear viewer, which channel is the treaty referring to?

9:40 And therefore who owns these islands?

9:42 Is the wording of the treaty maybe a little too vague?

9:45 Well, that's exactly the problem encountered by the people living in the area.

9:49 The British insisted that the channel intended by the treaty

9:52 was the Rosario Strait and therefore the islands were British.

9:56 The Americans on the other hand, argued that the intended channel was the Haro

10:00 Strait and therefore the islands were American.

10:03 At times, the debate became rather heated.

10:05 Even the individuals who negotiated and signed

10:07 the treaty at times didn't seem entirely sure which

10:10 channel the treaty meant and representatives from the Hudson's

10:13 Bay Company begged them to make it clearer.

10:15 But thousands of miles away the people in power simply had more

10:19 to worry about than some tiny islands in the middle of nowhere.

10:23 Order!

10:25 Order!

10:26 Shut up!

10:27 (crashing) All right, listen up, we got a lot to get through.

10:31 The 7th Earl of Jizzingham says he encountered a foul

10:34 beast in the fields of Upper Fartingdom late last night,

10:36 and put this sketch together.

10:38 That, that's a poor person, Darren!

10:40 Ugh, next.

10:41 Lord Piddlingham says he has a new mole on his backside?

10:44 How has that parliamentary business, George?

10:47 Oh, some islands in the Pacific Northwest are

10:50 in dispute and could lead to a war with America?

10:53 Boring!

10:54 Fine.

10:55 Let's take a look at that mole, George.

10:56 (crowd cheering) And so, for now, the islands were simply held in dispute.

11:04 Were they British or were they American?

11:07 I'm sure this conflict won't cause anyone to die.

11:11 And one man who thought the islands were undeniably British was James Douglas,

11:15 now the Governor of Vancouver Island.

11:17 He had already once had American settlers encroach

11:19 on his territory and force him to move.

11:22 And by golly, he wasn't going to let it happen again.

11:24 As far as he was concerned,

11:26 those islands were not only British, but prime agricultural land.

11:30 And given the chance those glubby yanks wouldn't hesitate

11:32 to start pitching flags with their glubby little hands.

11:36 And so he came up with a plan.

11:38 If the British settled the islands first,

11:40 then that would surely secure them for Britain.

11:42 And so in 1853, Douglas sent an Irishman by the name of Charles Griffin,

11:46 along with some Hawaiian shepherds to go set up a sheep farm on San Juan Island.

11:51 And set up a sheep farm they did.

11:53 The place was rammed with sheep.

11:55 1,369 to be exact.

11:58 But within those flocks of wooly cowards

12:00 could also be found a number of beautiful, prized Berkshire pigs.

12:05 Oh, Porky, you look stunning.

12:09 You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

12:11 Would you, perhaps, like to go to the island ball together tonight?

12:16 Oink once for no, roll around in that cow crap if yes.

12:19 Yes!

12:20 I'm covered in poo and I'm the luckiest man alive!

12:23 But life on the island for Charles Griffin wasn't to be

12:26 a perfect paradise of pig pageants because unfortunately for him,

12:30 the Americans also believed the island was theirs.

12:33 One day in 1854, an American customs collector was sailing around the islands

12:38 on the outlook for bands of native tribesmen when he spotted something.

12:42 Aha!

12:42 I've got you now you savages.

12:44 Over yonder.

12:45 Those are sheep, sir.

12:47 Sheep you say?

12:48 What are they doing here?

12:49 Let's go and negotiate with them.

12:51 Negotiate with sheep?

12:52 Are you crazy?

12:53 I'm perfectly stable you ratbag!

12:55 Call me crazy again and I'll eat your eyes!

12:57 Uh, hello, good sir.

12:59 We request to speak with your leader.

13:01 (sheep baaing) Out of my way.

13:03 Allow me to parlay with this foul beast.

13:06 (baaing) Hey!

13:12 Hey!

13:12 Stop threatening my sheep.

13:13 Your sheep?

13:14 You mean to tell me that you, a British subject,

13:18 have illegally imported these sheep into American territory?

13:22 I'll have you know that you,

13:24 an American, are currently trespassing on British territory.

13:29 (baaing) The Americans felt that they were

13:32 entitled to collect taxes on the British property,

13:34 you know, because the island was American

13:36 and they threatened seizure if dues weren't paid.

13:39 The British, meanwhile, threatened to arrest the Americans, you know,

13:42 because the island was British and the two sides were in a standoff.

13:46 To give Charles Griffin the legal power to deal with the American trespassers,

13:49 Douglas said, hey, put on this wig, boom, you're a magistrate now.

13:54 And in turn, Griffin went to one of his Hawaiian shepherds and said,

13:57 hey, I'm making you a Constable.

13:59 Put on this badge.

14:00 (screaming) The British then went off to arrest the U.S.

14:03 customs inspector, but, being an American,

14:06 he emerged from his tent with four pistols and a giant knife.

14:09 So the Brits had to back down.

14:10 Eventually, raids by Northern tribes chased the U.S.

14:13 officer from the island.

14:14 But the Americans weren't done yet.

14:16 Officials from nearby Whatcom county in Washington

14:19 territory believed the island fell under their jurisdiction.

14:21 And they decided it was time to make the British pay up once and for all.

14:25 They sent one Sheriff Barnes to go confront Charles Griffin.

14:28 Hey, you owe us $80 and 33 cents for all this farm stuff you got here.

14:34 Go suck an egg.

14:36 Oh, I see.

14:38 So that's how it is, huh?

14:40 That's how it's going to be, is it?

14:42 That's the way in which things are, eh?

14:44 That be how it will, is it?

14:46 Will it be how that is, huh?

14:49 That be the way in which things be the way they are, is it?

14:51 Get off my property!

14:52 So the sheriff and other Whatcom county officials felt they were now well within

14:55 their rights to seize and auction off

14:57 Griffin's sheep in order to recoup lost taxes.

15:00 And who would they auction these prized breeding rams off to but themselves?

15:04 Then in a pretty chaotic scene, they worked to tie the rams to their boats.

15:08 And when Charles Griffin came running

15:09 to rescue his kidnapped sheep, being Americans,

15:12 they pulled out guns on him and he had to back down.

15:15 In all, Charles Griffin lost 34 breeding rams and he was furious.

15:21 The British complained to the American government who were shocked

15:24 to hear what had been going on at the Northwest border.

15:26 And both governments told their officials in the area to back off.

15:30 We're not trying to start a major war over some dumb sheep and a stupid island.

15:35 But also the islands are definitely ours.

15:37 Under no circumstances at the other side have them.

15:39 For now, both governments agreed to set up yet another

15:42 boundary commission to decide which channel was the correct border.

15:45 But it often devolved into petty bickering.

15:48 The British did make one interesting suggestion though.

15:50 We could draw the border through this middle

15:52 channel and split the islands between us.

15:54 Well, that would be a completely fair

15:56 compromise that protects the interests of both parties.

15:59 And there's no way I'm ever going to agree to it.

16:01 (gunshots) And in the aftermath of the sheep raid, James Douglas,

16:04 still stationed at Fort Victoria,

16:07 became even more cautious of American encroachment into his territory.

16:11 Uh, Mr.

16:11 Douglas, sir, it appears an Indian has discovered

16:14 gold in the Fraser Canyon just north of here.

16:17 (gasps) Shut up!

16:19 Keep your voice down, boy.

16:21 We can't risk those glubby Americans hearing about

16:24 this or our territory here will be infested with them.

16:29 Oh no!

16:33 (crowd cheering) No!

16:40 The Fraser Canyon gold rush attracted a heap of Americans to the region.

16:43 Some got lucky, most did not.

16:47 And of those that didn't, rather than returning all the way home,

16:50 many simply decided to settle in the area.

16:52 And in particular, the juicy green pastures

16:55 of San Juan Island were rather appealing.

16:58 Believing the island was American territory,

17:00 around a dozen American settlers moved there in the late 1850s.

17:04 One of them was a man named Lyman Cutler.

17:07 A young man in his mid twenties and lazy as pie.

17:11 He didn't want to have to clear a space in the forest to build his home.

17:14 So he said, eh, I'll just build my cabin

17:16 right in the middle of this British sheep run.

17:17 I'm sure that won't make anyone mad.

17:19 When he planted potato seeds in his garden,

17:21 rather than building a nice protective fence around them, he said,

17:24 I'll just fence in three sides and hope all these British

17:26 farm animals have a moral compass and respect my property rights.

17:30 (gasps then screams) Griffin's pig was a Berkshire well-known for rooting,

17:36 and Lyman's fairly pathetic fence made for a bad combination.

17:39 Numerous times he had had to chase the pig away from his property.

17:42 And he once angrily marched up to Griffin's home saying,

17:45 hey, British farm idiot.

17:47 Keep your stupid pig out of my potatoes.

17:48 It is up to you to keep your potatoes out of my pig.

17:52 (door slams) Griffin was furious with his new American neighbors.

17:56 They built their homes all over his sheep pastures.

17:58 And besides what right did they have to be here anyway?

18:01 It was British territory.

18:04 Lyman, on the other hand,

18:05 swore the local government had assured him his land claims were legitimate.

18:08 And so to him, the British were out of line.

18:11 Look at that sick freak!

18:14 In love with his pig.

18:15 Isn't that just sick?

18:16 Yeah!

18:17 What a freak?

18:18 Not like our love, Spuddy.

18:20 Ours is all natural.

18:22 Yep, just a man in his potato.

18:24 Nothing wrong with that.

18:26 But the tension between Lyman and Griffin was just about to explode.

18:33 What the?

18:35 (gasps) Spuddy?

18:38 All right, you damn dirty pig.

18:41 That's the final straw.

18:45 (gunshot) Lyman shot the pig.

18:52 After taking a second to calm down,

18:54 he felt bad about murdering Griffin's prized boar.

18:57 So you went to him and said, Hey man, look, I, I kinda just killed your pig.

19:02 It was eating my potatoes again and I don't know man,

19:06 I just, I kinda just killed your pig.

19:09 Killed your pig.

19:10 Killed your pig.

19:12 (bright music) (laughing) You swine!

19:28 No, no the swine is the one I killed.

19:31 I'm Lyman.

19:32 (screaming and crying) Griffin demanded Lyman pay

19:39 a hundred dollars for the loss of the pig, an outrageous sum at the time.

19:43 Obviously, Lyman refused.

19:44 Threatening to shoot anymore animals that dared enter his property,

19:47 even threatening to shoot Griffin himself.

19:49 When Griffin complained to James Douglas,

19:51 British officials went and confronted the pig killer.

19:54 Again, they insisted he pay up and if he didn't,

19:57 Lyman claimed they threatened to arrest him and take him back to Victoria.

20:01 British officials arresting an American on American

20:04 soil and trying him under British law, now that's controversial.

20:09 And it's a controversy that attracted the attention

20:11 of an American General in charge of the department of Oregon.

20:15 One William S Harney.

20:17 This guy.

20:18 General Harney had a reputation.

20:21 He's the kind of guy who invades Mexico without orders,

20:23 wasting valuable resources and creating

20:26 an embarrassing situation for everyone involved.

20:28 He's the kind of guy who has one of his own

20:30 men arrested for writing the wrong header on a report.

20:32 He's the kind of guy who finds a dog digging up his yard and then

20:36 chases it for a mile and a half just to give it a beating.

20:39 He hated superiors, hated being told what to do

20:42 and had been court-martialed four times for disobeying orders.

20:46 Contemporaries described him as an imbecile, all matter and no mind,

20:50 an arrogant humbug and a laughing stock.

20:53 Like I said, General Harney had a reputation.

20:57 He hated the British out was up

20:59 for any opportunity to earn personal glory for himself.

21:02 By some accounts, he even wanted to become president.

21:06 And so in July, 1859, when he happened to visit San Juan Island,

21:10 and he learned of the plight of the Americans living there,

21:13 the shooting of a pig and the British threat to arrest Lyman Cutler,

21:19 General Harney went into scheme mode.

21:22 (dramatic music) (phone ringing) Ay yo, Captain Pickett.

21:28 Yes sir?

21:29 Listen carefully.

21:30 I need you to go pick up some flowers and bring them to my place later.

21:34 I've got a plan.

21:36 Here I am, sir.

21:37 What's the plan?

21:38 Pickett, you and I are going to start a war.

21:42 What do you mean, sir?

21:43 Okay, listen up.

21:45 An American man shoots a worthless pig on San

21:47 Juan Island and the British threatened to arrest him.

21:50 Outrageous!

21:51 But we can use it.

21:53 We get the settlers there to send us

21:54 a petition saying they need American troops for protection.

21:57 That's when you go with your men and occupy the island.

22:00 The British will find American troops on an island they considered

22:04 theirs so offensive they won't hesitate to blow you to smithereens.

22:08 Then it's war.

22:10 We bring in reinforcements and we fight back.

22:13 I'll write to Washington DC letting them know what's happening,

22:15 but here's the kicker, my letter will take six whole weeks to get there.

22:20 Before the government even gets a chance to respond,

22:22 telling me I'm an idiot and ordering me to cease fire, the island will be ours.

22:27 Hell we could even invade Vancouver island or British Columbia.

22:31 It's foolproof.

22:32 Wow.

22:33 Very impressive, sir.

22:34 But I got to ask, why?

22:37 Well I'll level with you, Pickett,

22:38 historians still contest exactly what it is I'm trying to do here.

22:42 It's possible I'm trying to expand America's territory.

22:45 Maybe I'm trying to play the hero so I can become president.

22:48 Some have even suggested that since I'm a slave owning southerner,

22:50 I may be trying to create a diversion

22:52 to help the south succeed in the upcoming civil war.

22:55 But if there's one thing that almost everyone

22:57 can agree on, it's that I'm an idiot.

23:01 I see.

23:02 But hold on.

23:03 What'd you tell me to bring flowers for?

23:05 Because, Pickett, they're pretty and I like them.

23:08 There are also historians who believe that Harney and Pickett

23:11 had no secret plan at all and were not scheming masterminds,

23:14 but simply hotheaded buffoons, genuinely outraged at the audacity of the British

23:19 and trying to protect American citizens.

23:21 But the fact of the matter is Pickett took the very

23:24 controversial and extremely provocative act

23:27 of landing American troops on disputed territory.

23:31 He set up his camp in a very exposed position and directed

23:34 a very provocative sign proclaiming that only

23:37 American laws applied on the island.

23:39 It was almost like he was asking to be fired upon.

23:42 Or, again, maybe he was just an idiot.

23:44 When a British official sent to the island to get rid of the unruly

23:48 American settlers now saw that there

23:50 were American troops he demanded they leave.

23:52 He was obviously told to go suck an egg.

23:55 When Douglas found out, he was enraged.

23:58 To him, the American landing constituted an invasion.

24:01 Harney sent a report back to the war department in DC,

24:04 justifying his actions with exaggerated claims of British villainy,

24:08 but he knew it would take six weeks to get

24:09 there and another six weeks for the reply to come back.

24:12 For now, the situation was entirely

24:14 in the hands of local military and government officials.

24:18 And the ball was in the British court.

24:20 Will the temperamental Governor Douglas and the powerful British Navy,

24:24 respond to the American provocation with force?

24:27 Were Britain and America really about to go to war over the shooting of a pig?

24:33 Well, if one men were to have his way, it's entirely possible they would.

24:38 James Douglas had already had Americans force him out of Oregon,

24:42 they had threatened his position in Victoria during the gold rush,

24:44 now they had invaded his island and he had had it.

24:48 It was time to turn to the Royal Navy.

24:51 You, Captain Hornby,

24:52 go to the island and prevent any more Americans from landing

24:56 and take this Magister with you to arrest captain Pickett.

24:58 Use force if necessary, just don't do anything to start a war.

25:02 Wait, you want me to use force, but not start a war?

25:06 Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

25:08 Is that too much to ask, princess?

25:11 When Captain Hornby got to the island and saw that the American

25:13 force there was even larger than expected, his concern grew.

25:17 He sent word back to Douglas,

25:18 who in response ordered even more ships to the island.

25:22 And at this point, the Naval officers were like, hey man, let's talk.

25:26 They were concerned Douglas' escalation was leading them

25:29 to war and they convinced him it probably wasn't

25:31 a terribly good idea to just go up

25:32 to an American military captain with his armed men and say,

25:35 hey, Bucko, you're under arrest.

25:38 Please don't shoot me.

25:39 Douglas gave in.

25:41 To prevent any hostilities, he canceled all orders and told the Navy,

25:45 for now, to simply keep an eye on the Americans.

25:47 He did send one more ship for good measure.

25:50 Captain Pickett, now seeing the British ships

25:53 with their guns aimed directly at his exposed camp,

25:55 said, see, Jeff, look at that.

25:58 We're about to get blown to bits all according to plan.

26:02 Hang on.

26:03 Oh crap, Jeff, we're about to get blown to bits!

26:06 Run!

26:07 Pickett hastily moved his camp from its

26:10 very exposed position to another position,

26:12 which as it happened, it was also very exposed.

26:15 It probably won't surprise you to learn,

26:16 Pickett came dead last in his graduating class.

26:19 Nearby, American and British officials began showing up

26:22 to ask Pickett what the heck he was even doing.

26:24 Then a bunch of tourists showed up because

26:26 a major war breaking out on their doorstep

26:28 was the single most exciting thing to ever

26:29 happen in any of their miserable frontier lives.

26:32 One Charles Griffin was particularly unhappy.

26:35 First, his pig had been shot, now,

26:37 his sheep pastures were being trampled by soldiers and tourists alike.

26:41 He complained to Governor Douglas who was

26:43 still pretty upset about the whole thing.

26:45 Douglas felt British honor itself was at stake.

26:49 So he decided that if American forces were allowed to be on the island,

26:53 well then by golly, the British should be there too.

26:56 It would be a joint military occupation.

26:59 Upon hearing Douglas' new plan to land British troops on the island,

27:03 Captain Hornby decided to go speak with Pickett in person.

27:06 After informing him of the plan,

27:08 Pickett replied that if they dared land, he would open fire.

27:12 So there they were.

27:13 The British had orders to land.

27:15 The Americans had orders to prevent their landing.

27:18 This was it, war.

27:20 Over a small island in the middle of nowhere.

27:23 Over a pig and some potatoes.

27:25 Over whether the U.S.

27:26 Canada border looked like this or like this.

27:30 It was stupid.

27:32 Hold on.

27:33 This is stupid.

27:35 To heck with it.

27:36 I'm not landing those troops.

27:38 I'm not going to be the one who starts a war.

27:41 (crowd sighing) The captain decided not to follow

27:44 Douglas' order and good thing he didn't

27:47 because pretty soon after that the leading British

27:49 Admiral in the entire Pacific region showed up.

27:52 Rear Admiral Baynes outranked Governor Douglas.

27:55 When he heard of everything that had been going on, he was stunned.

27:59 But when he heard that Hornby had refused Douglas' plan to land troops,

28:04 Baynes could've kissed him.

28:07 Whether he did or not, history doesn't tell.

28:10 But I like to think that he did.

28:11 The Rear Admiral canceled all of Douglas' orders and instead pursued a policy

28:16 of not interfering with the Americans

28:18 until he could contact the British government.

28:20 The Americans not knowing the British no longer

28:23 intended to land had sent reinforcements and began fortifying.

28:26 But even still, the British Navy did nothing.

28:30 And finally, when word made it across the planet,

28:33 informing the two governments of the ongoing crisis, everyone was shocked.

28:37 Holy crap!

28:39 Harney landed troops on disputed territory?

28:42 Man, I hope the British don't find out about this.

28:44 Buchanan.

28:45 Oh crap!

28:46 The British!

28:47 Why are we getting reports of American troops on San Juan Island?

28:49 Whoa, whoa, whoa!

28:51 I don't know man.

28:53 Nothing to do with me.

28:55 But you're the President.

28:56 What?

28:56 Breckenridge?

28:57 Am I the president?

28:59 Yes, sir.

29:00 And hey, we, we got a problem.

29:02 It looks like the Southern states are considering succeeding and we're

29:05 headed for the biggest crisis in the history of the nation.

29:08 And it's your job to fix it, sir.

29:11 Sir?

29:12 Oh, no.

29:13 Go away.

29:14 Not the curtain again, Mr.

29:16 President.

29:17 I'm not here.

29:17 Buchanan.

29:19 (screams) Back in the Pacific Northwest,

29:21 Harney was beginning to realize the government may

29:24 not be terribly impressed with his reckless actions.

29:26 So he began firing off even more aggressive letters,

29:30 justifying what he had done.

29:31 Tell them the British were sending bands of Indians

29:33 to attack our men and that their big

29:35 meanings with coal for hearts and that they made me cry like a little girl.

29:38 Wait, no that makes me sound weak.

29:41 They made me cry like a big girl.

29:43 Yeah, that's it.

29:43 When the president received Harney's new letters,

29:45 his anxiety only grew stronger.

29:48 Oh crap.

29:48 Hey general Scott, please make this go away.

29:52 Leave it to me, sir.

29:54 General Winfield Scott was the Commanding General of the entire U.S.

29:58 Army.

29:58 Well known for his negotiation skills.

30:00 He was a veteran of the Mexican American war.

30:02 During which time he had had

30:04 to deal with General Harney's idiocy and insubordination.

30:07 And he watched his Harney got away with it all.

30:09 Thanks to his friends in high places.

30:11 It's safe to say that Scott really did not like General Harney.

30:15 By now, General Scott was racked with gout and he was so

30:19 big he had to be hoisted onto a ship in a basket.

30:22 Nevertheless, he began the long journey to the Pacific Northwest.

30:27 Okay.

30:27 Everyone get over here.

30:30 Will somebody please tell me what the heck is going on?

30:34 I'll tell you, General.

30:35 It all started on one fateful day, last summer.

30:40 (gasps) Spuddy?

30:43 All right.

30:44 You damn dirty pig.

30:46 That's the final straw.

30:49 Huh?

30:50 What?

30:50 Hey, you can't get away from me.

30:55 Oh, look at that, pig.

30:57 Nowhere left to run, eh?

30:59 I'm gonna enjoy this.

31:03 Lyman, if you spare my life, I grant you three wishes.

31:08 (gunshot) (evil laughing)- So you see, General,

31:17 the pig wasn't even on his property when he shot it.

31:19 Liar!

31:20 He's lying to you, General.

31:22 I'll tell you what really happened.

31:26 What a pleasant summer's afternoon here on my humble farm.

31:30 It's just me and my beloved potatoes.

31:33 I'm so happy.

31:34 Say, Lyman, them some nice spuds you got there.

31:38 Would be a shame if somebody ate them.

31:41 No, not again you beast!

31:43 Leave my potatoes alone.

31:45 Yeah, I'm going to eat them, Lyman.

31:47 I'll eat them and then I'm going to eat you.

31:52 Stay back!

31:53 I'll shoot!

31:54 Go ahead, punk.

31:55 Make my day.

31:58 Shoot me.

31:59 Shoot me!

32:03 He made me do it.

32:05 He made me do it.

32:08 So you're telling me, you guys nearly started a war with the strongest Naval

32:13 power in the world over the shooting of a pig.

32:16 Yeah.

32:17 Yeah, now he's starting to get it.

32:19 Not only the pig, sir.

32:20 The British then threatened to arrest this poor pure American soul.

32:25 Thank you, General.

32:26 Shut up.

32:26 I don't care about you.

32:27 Okay, I've made up my mind.

32:31 You're an idiot.

32:32 You're an idiot.

32:33 You're an idiot.

32:34 You're an idiot.

32:35 You're an idiot.

32:36 You guys are fine.

32:37 And you two are the most mind-numbingly brain

32:40 dead ding-dongs I've ever encountered in all my life.

32:43 And I'll see you in my office.

32:45 Okay, Harney, listen.

32:47 I cut a deal with the Brits, here's how it's going to be.

32:50 Both sides will maintain a small force on the island for a joint

32:53 military occupation until our two governments can decide who owns the island.

32:57 Now, the only way they had agreed to that is if Pickett is removed from command.

33:01 So I'm replacing him with Captain Hunt here.

33:03 Now, Harney, listen to me.

33:06 Do not under any circumstances put Pickett back on that island.

33:11 Okay?

33:11 I mean it, Harney.

33:13 Do not order Pickett back onto the island.

33:16 Understood?

33:17 Yes, sir.

33:18 Good.

33:18 I'll see you glubbos later.

33:22 Is he gone?

33:24 I think so.

33:25 Good.

33:25 Hunt, you're fired.

33:27 Pickett, you're going back on the island.

33:29 All right you psychopath, I've been waiting years for this.

33:33 I hate you!

33:34 I've always hated you!

33:35 Harney had not only ordered Pickett back onto the island,

33:38 but his department even notified the British

33:40 that it did not recognize the joint occupation settlement.

33:43 While everyone else had decided on peace,

33:46 Harney appear to still be threatening war.

33:49 Needless to say a furious Winfield Scott soon

33:52 removed him from command and sent him elsewhere.

33:55 In Harney's absence, the joint occupation went ahead and the troops

34:00 actually got along together quite well.

34:02 The British attended 4th of July celebrations at the American camp.

34:05 While the Americans visited the British for Queen Victoria's birthday.

34:09 Even Pickett became good friends with his British counterpart.

34:12 War, it seemed, had been avoided.

34:15 Thanks largely to the level headed actions

34:17 of the Royal Navy and general Winfield Scott.

34:20 Of course the islands were still in dispute.

34:22 And the question of who exactly owned them still had to be answered.

34:26 That answer would have to wait because while San Juan was at peace,

34:30 the nation was tearing itself apart.

34:33 When Civil War broke out in 1861,

34:36 the issue of San Juan just wasn't that important.

34:40 Harney, despite being a southerner remained in the U S army,

34:43 but was eventually removed from command at St.

34:46 Louis when his loyalty to the union came under suspicion.

34:49 More famously, Captain Pickett, a native Virginian,

34:52 went on to become a Confederate General.

34:54 Pickett's charge at the Battle of Gettysburg remains one of the most

34:58 famous moments of the entire war and marked a major turning point.

35:02 U.S.

35:03 relations with Britain actually soured during the war.

35:06 The British, missing their supply of Southern cotton,

35:08 initially looked like they may intervene on this side of the Confederacy.

35:12 There was the Trent Affair, when Confederate diplomats were discovered

35:15 and arrested on a British mail steamer.

35:17 And then there were the British built ships sold

35:20 to the Confederacy that wreaked havoc on Northern commerce.

35:23 When the Civil War ended,

35:25 furious American politicians called on the British to pay reparations.

35:29 And by now a long list of hot issues existed between them.

35:33 And yes on that list remained, 12 years later,

35:37 still the issue of who owned these gosh darn islands.

35:42 That issue, it was finally agreed,

35:44 would be submitted to international arbitration.

35:46 The empire of Germany would decide.

35:49 With the British and Americans presenting arguments.

35:52 The American argument was reportedly presented with a little more pizzazz,

35:55 a little more zing, and in the end, when the Germans made their decision,

36:00 they awarded the San Juan Islands to the United States.

36:04 (gunshots) When an aging Douglas heard the news,

36:08 he said that there was no possible

36:10 way the British argument had been presented correctly.

36:13 But that was that.

36:14 The British conceded and on the 25th of November,

36:18 1872, the last British troops left the island.

36:22 As the American enter the British camp to raise their flag,

36:25 they found that the British had removed the flagpole.

36:28 One last up yours to Uncle Sam.

36:30 By this time Charles Griffin had already left the island

36:33 and the Hudson's Bay Company eventually sold their sheep farm.

36:36 And so there you have it.

36:39 A dangerous situation that almost brought two great powers

36:42 to war triggered by the shooting of a pig, but thanks to more level-headed minds

36:48 and an eagerness for peace and cooperation, conflict was avoided.

36:52 And the only casualty of this pig war was, well, just a pig.

36:57 But how different could things have been?

36:59 What if the British had attempted to arrest Pickett?

37:02 What if they had landed troops?

37:05 Could the two sides have actually gone to war?

37:08 Could America have invaded Canada?

37:11 Could it perhaps still invade Canada?

37:16 Think about it.

37:17 Why not?

37:18 We have the manpower.

37:20 We have the arms.

37:22 It's our manifest destiny.

37:26 Picture a future where American Mounties wear red,

37:29 white, and blue and hail the stars and stripes.

37:32 Where Wayne Gretzky would wave the American flag

37:36 every 4th of July in the streets of Montreal.

37:40 Maple syrup, the greatest American food.

37:43 Banff, the greatest American national park.

37:47 One United nation under the leadership of our glorious president Drake.

37:53 No longer shall we tolerate our smug neighbors to the north,

37:57 with their affordable insulin and endless comments complaining

38:00 that I don't talk about Canada enough in my videos.

38:04 That's right, Canadians, watch your backs.

38:08 Sleep with one eye open tonight because Biden's coming, baby.

38:14 And maybe then this time, he's coming with a vengeance.

38:21 (upbeat music)