Happy Smother's Day Marie! | Everybody Loves Raymond

0:07 Hey.

0:08 Oh, Robbie, you scared me.

0:11 You don't leave a note.

0:12 YOU JUST LEAVE.

0:13 WE'RE LOOKING ALL over for you.

0:14 Where'd you look?

0:15 We thought we'd start here.

0:22 Where are the kids?

0:23 Oh, no.

0:23 They're sleeping.

0:24 They're sleeping.

0:24 Hey, I just want to see them.

0:25 Come on.

0:26 It's early.

0:27 I just want to see the kids.

0:28 They can sleep when we go.

0:29 No, no, no.

0:31 You want to see something, huh?

0:32 A $120 receipt from Victoria's Secrets.

0:38 Holy crap.

0:41 What the hell's a bustier?

0:49 When did he get this?

0:51 Oh, that's an award your brother got for his sports column.

0:55 Never ends for Raymond.

0:57 Oh, poor Robbie.

0:59 Everybody loves Raymond.

1:03 I go to work, people shoot at me.

1:06 Ray goes to work, people do the wave.

1:09 Then he sits down, has a hot dog, doodles on a piece of paper.

1:12 They give him a trophy.

1:17 To tell you the truth, I think that Raymond is wasting his life writing sports.

1:21 I mean, a writer should be writing short stories and poetry.

1:26 You think I'm wasting my life?

1:33 Well, it's different with you, dear.

1:38 Look who's on.

1:54 Oh, no.

1:55 No.

1:56 No.

1:57 Hey, Ray, you want to watch the game?

1:59 Oh, no.

1:59 What are you doing, everybody?

2:01 Deborah's going to be Okay.

2:03 All right.

2:03 I'm going to ask you quickly and quietly move to your nearest exit.

2:06 It's the fourth quarter.

2:08 Dad, please buckle up and go.

2:12 Listen,

2:14 you know, when somebody does you a favor, you're supposed to say thank you.

2:18 Thank you.

2:19 Thank you, Mom and Dad.

2:20 You're wonderful grandparents.

2:21 You're not evil at all.

2:23 Let me just smell their heads once more.

2:26 Dad, please.

2:27 Please,

2:28 Mr.

2:28 Fountain of Youth.

2:30 I'm sucking in that youth.

2:31 I'm begging you.

2:32 I'm begging you.

2:33 Let go of their heads.

2:34 Let go of their heads.

2:35 I'll give you money.

2:35 Do you want the money?

2:36 Save your money.

2:37 You're going to need it.

2:38 Victoria is not a secret anymore.

2:41 We'll see you Sunday at Deer's party.

2:44 Okay.

2:44 Thanks again.

2:45 Thanks again, Ma.

2:48 Nice trophy.

2:57 Hey.

2:56 Hey.

2:57 I was just checking the kids.

2:58 Oh, great.

3:00 Still sleeping like logs.

3:04 Oh my gosh.

3:05 Look at this place.

3:09 What?

3:09 It's spotless.

3:10 You cleaned up for me.

3:12 Well, you're not the maid.

3:15 Oh, Ray.

3:16 Oh, you're so wonderful.

3:18 Hey, listen.

3:19 I'm just going to look at the kids real quick.

3:21 Okay.

3:22 Okay.

3:29 I think I'm having sex.

3:36 Oh, good old sex.

3:41 Oh, I'm I'm going to do new stuff.

3:47 Hi, honey.

3:50 Uh Ray,

3:54 what?

3:53 Why do the boys's heads smell like old spice?

4:01 What?

4:01 Your father was here and sucking the youth out of their heads again, huh?

4:06 And your brother was here, too.

4:09 Just found this fruit loop on Matthew's chin.

4:14 You going to tell me what happened here tonight,

4:15 Ray, or do I have to call your parents?

4:17 No, no, no, no, no.

4:19 Oh, hey, Ray.

4:22 The rat go home.

4:26 Yeah, I heard your mother giving a lesson to one of her piano rat.

4:29 I was hiding out.

4:32 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

4:32 The rat went home.

4:34 Jeez Lou, I hate the sound of a kid on that thing.

4:37 Blink blink blink.

4:41 I'm gonna chop it into kindling and put a big vibrating chair right there.

4:45 Hey.

4:49 Yeah.

4:49 Yeah, that'll sound better.

4:50 You bouncing around in a chair.

4:54 You want to watch the Jets?

4:56 No.

4:56 No.

4:56 No thanks.

4:59 Listen, Dad.

4:59 When I was taking piano lessons as a kid, how come you never, you know,

5:06 killed myself?

5:14 I was I was going to say encouraged me.

5:18 Encouraged your piano lessons.

5:21 Why the hell would I do that?

5:24 I don't know.

5:25 I heard some parents were into encouraging, Dad.

5:28 You know, maybe you could have been better about it.

5:32 What in the holy name of crap are you talking about?

5:36 Nothing.

5:36 You just You always rag me about practicing the piano,

5:38 and I think that's maybe why I quit.

5:40 Good.

5:42 Good.

5:43 I don't think so, Dad.

5:46 What are you saying?

5:48 Are you saying I didn't do my JOB BY YOU?

5:50 I DID MY JOB.

5:51 I GOT YOU AWAY from that thing.

5:53 I got you outside.

5:55 WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO HIT, CATCH, THROW?

5:57 WHO TOOK YOU TO SHAY STADIUM?

6:00 And hey, am I mistaken or does somebody here

6:03 make a decent living NOW AS A SPORTS WRITER?

6:09 NO, I think what you meant to say was Thank you, Dad.

6:16 I I could have done music and sports.

6:20 No, unless you want to play the organ at Shay.

6:24 At least those songs are good.

6:28 Hey, you're sorry I didn't take you to ballet class.

6:34 Hey, I think I did all right by you.

6:36 All right.

6:37 What?

6:37 What did you do, Dad?

6:38 Maybe I like the piano, you know?

6:40 Maybe I had potential or something.

6:42 I don't know.

6:42 I Right.

6:55 I'll catch the damn ball, you stinking hump.

7:03 Listen, Ma, I'm sorry.

7:05 No, no, no.

7:06 I'm the one who's sorry.

7:09 I I shouldn't have expect you to remember all those things.

7:12 I overreacted.

7:14 You know, I have that.

7:17 The overreaction thing

7:18 for years.

7:22 It's just that

7:26 what what

7:29 sports is so stupid.

7:33 I mean, who would HAVE EVER DREAMED THAT A CHILD OF mine would end up in sports?

7:37 I like sports.

7:38 I know.

7:38 I know.

7:39 And you're very good at it.

7:45 You know what the amazing thing is?

7:46 That I can function at all.

7:50 You know, when I was a girl, I I loved the piano.

7:54 And my mother wanted me to play, too.

7:56 Except she she had these ridiculous expectations for me,

8:01 and I I always disappointed her.

8:07 Oh, fingers short and stubby.

8:09 You know, the point is that I love music and I wanted to impart some

8:14 of that to Robbie and you except that every

8:17 time your brother sat down at the piano, the nose bleeds.

8:23 I mean, a mother shouldn't be disgusted, but gh.

8:29 But you you you had an ear and fingers.

8:36 Yes.

8:35 Well, I know why I quit.

8:36 It was dad.

8:37 No, it wasn't your father.

8:39 It was you.

8:41 Okay.

8:41 Your father, his idea of culture is an undershirt with sleeves.

8:47 I know you were the one who lost interest in the piano, Raymond.

8:51 No, I like the piano.

8:52 You like the idea of the piano.

8:58 I like the lessons.

9:03 We had nice times.

9:06 But you wanted to go with the other boys running and punching and spitting.

9:13 Don't talk about sex.

9:14 We're here.

9:17 What?

9:18 Deborah's thinking of writing a book.

9:19 A sex book?

9:21 No, no, no, no, no.

9:22 I a children's book.

9:24 I was just thinking of trying it.

9:26 Oh, I have a wonderful story for you, Deborah.

9:29 When Robert was 10, he was in little league and before one of his games,

9:33 I asked if he had to go to the bathroom and he said no.

9:36 So, it's his turn with the bat.

9:39 And sure enough, he wets his pants.

9:46 Oh, isn't that charming?

9:53 Hey, is this about me?

9:56 And Marlo was just telling the story about how you wet your pants at home plate.

10:02 Ma, it's for dad's children's book.

10:04 It's going to be in a book.

10:05 Oh, no.

10:07 Please.

10:07 I don't think I'm going to use the story.

10:09 That's my story.

10:10 You can't use it.

10:11 I have the right to that story.

10:12 I'm not using the story.

10:14 Why not?

10:15 It's an important story.

10:17 It has a moral about how kids shouldn't tease other kids

10:20 and how you should listen to your mother and not hold it.

10:26 I tell you what, whatever you do, I'll do the pictures for it.

10:31 Pictures?

10:30 I've dabbled into visual arts.

10:32 I've uh painted some bull fighters, some nudes.

10:38 You painted naked ladies off a deck of dirty cards.

10:43 I had to.

10:44 After Robert was born, you stopped posing for me.

10:48 Frank,

10:51 what?

10:51 Okay, I have to gouge out my eyes.

10:55 You can't catch out your mind's eye.

10:58 So, do you want me to bring over my portfolio?

11:01 No.

11:01 I got to be concentrating on the story.

11:03 Hey, you know, Deborah, I got a great story for you.

11:06 It's about a tall crime fighter.

11:09 Does he live with his parents?

11:12 Could No, no, no.

11:14 I have another story for you, dear.

11:16 Oh, no.

11:16 We're on a long car ride, and before we leave, I warned Robin.

11:23 Mom, dad, everybody.

11:25 Deborah's she's already got somebody who's going to help her.

11:27 Me.

11:29 Really?

11:29 Yeah.

11:29 Yeah.

11:29 Yeah.

11:30 It'll be fun.

11:30 It'll be fun.

11:31 Okay.

11:31 So, thanks anyway.

11:33 Thank you.

11:35 Okay.

11:35 Listen, Raymond, if you're going to use a baseball story,

11:38 at least put in that I was the one who scored the winning run.

11:41 Nobody wanted to tag you.

11:45 We don't need mommy to fall asleep.

11:47 Right.

11:49 Right.

11:51 Okay.

11:51 Good night.

11:55 Good night, ma.

12:00 Good night, sweetie.

12:01 Good night.

12:02 We'll be okay.

12:02 We'll be fine.

12:03 Yeah.

12:03 Just, you know, keep it down.

12:05 Okay.

12:08 Okay.

12:08 Are you sure this is going to be all right with Deborah?

12:11 Listen, she's going to thank me for a good night's sleep,

12:14 and it'll prove to her that it doesn't have to be one of us in here,

12:18 and we have other options, and You got to be out of here by 5:00 a.m.

12:27 I'm happy to to help.

12:29 Yeah.

12:29 Okay.

12:29 Right.

12:30 What are you doing?

12:31 What are you doing?

12:31 Where are you going?

12:32 I have to use the bathroom.

12:34 No.

12:34 I I told you to go before you came over.

12:38 I didn't have to go then.

12:41 Oh, great.

12:41 So, now the whole plan just blows up

12:43 because you couldn't go when you were supposed to.

12:45 I'm sorry.

12:46 Can I go now, Raymond?

12:49 Oh, all right.

12:53 And no humming.

13:09 What are you doing?

13:10 Thought you were going to spend the night in Alli's room.

13:13 No, no, no.

13:14 It's okay.

13:14 I I I told Ally if she needs to come in and I'm here for her.

13:19 But uh you know I I think my little talk did the trick

13:23 and we're going to have a good night's sleep, you and I.

13:27 Well, I know I am.

13:29 Okay.

13:30 Good night.

13:31 Good night.

13:46 Ray, I think that's for you.

13:58 Ray, Allie's at the door.

14:00 Well, of course it's Ally.

14:03 Go to sleep, Ally.

14:06 Huh?

14:07 Remember what we talked about.

14:09 I'll see you in the morning.

14:12 Where's Marie?

14:17 I just got back from the lobby.

14:21 I can't find Marie anywhere.

14:23 Well, she's not here.

14:24 That's right, Deborah.

14:25 You're right.

14:28 Mommy.

14:29 Ally, are you okay?

14:30 Grandma turned into a bastard.

14:34 Grandma.

14:36 Oh, honey, sweetie.

14:37 It's just me with some cold grain.

14:42 Roy, what are you doing here?

14:43 YEAH, I LOOKED ALL over for you.

14:45 I left a note on my pillow saying I was sleeping over here tonight.

14:49 Why are you sleeping over here tonight?

14:57 We're waiting, Ma.

15:08 You snuck your mother in to sleep with Ally.

15:12 No, no, no.

15:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:16 I just for I JUST FOR TONIGHT.

15:19 THAT'S ALL.

15:20 ALL I WANTED WAS ONE NIGHT'S sleep for us.

15:22 That's all.

15:23 Well, this is restful.

15:26 Nobody check this with me.

15:27 Why should anyone check it with you?

15:28 It's none of your business.

15:30 WHERE YOU SLEEP IS MY BUSINESS.

15:31 OH, YEAH.

15:32 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

15:33 YOU'RE MY WIFE.

15:33 YOU SLEEP WITH ME.

15:34 YOU CARE WHERE I SLEEP ALL OF a sudden?

15:37 I DON'T CARE.

15:37 I JUST CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT YOU.

15:43 OH, FRANK, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.

15:48 Don't kiss me with that stuff.

15:53 Ray, can we go home now?

15:55 Yes.

15:56 Once again, thanks for everything.

16:08 That was kind of sweet, wasn't it?

16:13 Ally, can you go to your room, please?

16:15 I need to speak to Daddy.

16:17 Well, no, she doesn't have to go.

16:18 She's, you know, I mean, she's scared.

16:23 She can Ally, you can stay here as long as you want.

16:27 Just a little Oh, the twins.

16:29 They can't sleep.

16:30 YEAH.

16:30 COME ON, GUYS.

16:31 The bed.

16:32 Bed's open.

16:34 Yeah.

16:35 Plenty of good seats still available.

16:42 Oh god.

16:42 You're kidding me.

16:44 What is it, Raymond?

16:45 It's a Steel City beer bottle cap.

16:49 Man, I haven't seen one of these since high school.

16:52 Frank, what are you doing throwing bottle caps in there?

16:55 It wasn't me.

16:57 I never drank that stuff.

16:59 Well, then where'd it come from?

17:01 Well, I can tell you that.

17:03 I remember one week when you and dad went to Florida.

17:21 Hey, Billy County.

17:24 Hey, David.

17:29 Hey, Dizzy.

17:30 Cool fiesta.

17:31 I know, right?

17:33 Yeah.

17:33 Work out.

17:34 Hey, hit that box.

17:56 Hey, check it out.

17:58 Check it out.

17:58 Check it out.

18:10 Disney said, Dominique, you had a party in my house.

18:17 Not a party.

18:20 Fiesta.

18:24 You drank?

18:26 Ma, it was 20 years ago and I'm just finding out about it now.

18:32 Was that the only party?

18:36 A

18:35 Oh my god.

18:37 What else did you lie to me about?

18:40 Did you smoke?

18:43 At that party.

18:45 Oh my god.

18:46 Did you smoke?

18:49 Smoke what?

18:50 Oh my god.

18:53 Come on.

18:54 This is how I RAISED YOU.

18:55 DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO SMOKE?

18:57 How many times did I tell you not to smoke OR DRINK OR DO ANYTHING?

19:02 And how many times have you lied to me?

19:06 This was the one time.

19:08 It's another lie.

19:09 You lied to your mother.

19:11 Everybody lied to their mother.

19:13 I DON'T CARE ABOUT everybody else.

19:15 You're my son.

19:16 I trusted you and every day that you pretended to be a good boy,

19:20 you were lying to me.

19:25 All right, Ma.

19:26 What?

19:27 What?

19:27 What do you want me to say?

19:28 Ma,

19:33 nothing.

19:32 I don't want you to say anything.

19:41 Ah, I for one am shocked and disappointed.

20:04 Ray,

20:04 my birthday.

20:06 All right.

20:07 Okay.

20:07 If you're sure that's the one special thing you want to do today.

20:15 No, no, no, no, no.

20:16 That's not it.

20:18 By the way, that one special thing, we're doing it twice.

20:24 Happy birthday, Ray.

20:26 You wanted skis, right?

20:30 It's funny.

20:30 Big skis, small box.

20:32 Tell you what, I'll keep the gift and return the joke.

20:38 So, ma, how are you?

20:40 I'm fine.

20:43 All right, come on.

20:44 Let's go.

20:44 Let out any of that anger you got up built up in there.

20:47 I'm not angry.

20:48 Hurt, confused, disillusioned, maybe.

20:53 Stop overreacting, Marie.

20:55 So, he did a little rebelling when he was a kid.

20:58 What rebelling?

20:59 I never gave him anything to rebel against.

21:01 Oh, dear.

21:03 You had a nice childhood.

21:05 You hear me?

21:06 Nice.

21:07 Nurturing and nice.

21:08 I was a good mother.

21:13 She's nuts.

21:15 Yeah.

21:16 And water's wet.

21:19 You know, I never told you this, but I used

21:22 to think of you as kind of a weak little mama's boy.

21:28 He told me that.

21:30 Well, not anymore.

21:32 Now I see you're a troublemaker.

21:37 I'm a troublemaker, too.

21:44 Ow.

21:44 Hey.

21:45 Hey.

21:46 Keep still.

21:47 Hey, come on.

21:48 Try a little sensitivity here.

21:51 Too bad you're not a horse.

21:52 We could shoot you.

21:57 All right, let's get going.

21:58 Hello, Raymond.

21:59 Your father's ruined everything.

22:01 What?

22:02 What happened to you?

22:03 I was bringing the suitcases down.

22:05 The bum knee popped out again.

22:07 You're so clumsy.

22:09 That's the thanks I get for blowing my knee out in Korea,

22:12 making the world safe for your mother.

22:16 You told me you slipped off a massage table in Tokyo.

22:23 Nevertheless, what about the cruise now?

22:25 Okay, well, thanks.

22:28 Mom and dad are screwed.

22:31 can't reschedu and we can't get our money back.

22:34 Why not?

22:35 Because the discount package you made us get them does not permit changes.

22:41 We can't go.

22:42 You're happy now, Tiny Tim?

22:46 I'll go.

22:47 I'll go.

22:48 I'll go.

22:49 I'm going.

22:53 M.

22:53 You could go by yourself or call one of your friends.

22:56 Call Lee.

22:57 Lee can't go.

22:58 Stan's cousin, the diabetic, is visiting from Arizona.

23:02 Oh, you could always go by yourself.

23:05 No.

23:04 Yes, we got it for your birthday.

23:07 I know, dear.

23:07 And for once, you got us a very nice gift.

23:12 Come on, Ma.

23:13 You never do anything like this.

23:15 You bought all that cruise wear, huh?

23:17 Where you going to wear that?

23:18 Around the tub.

23:19 No, not not for me.

23:20 I I couldn't bear to go alone.

23:23 Ma, this is a deluxe weekend cruise in Bermuda.

23:25 This is once in a lifetime.

23:27 This is nonrefundable.

23:31 I'm sorry.

23:32 It was a lovely gesture.

23:33 Really?

23:34 And we want to pay you back for the whole thing.

23:39 Hey,

23:39 no.

23:40 Ma, you want to go?

23:41 I want you to go.

23:42 Come on.

23:42 What's it going to take to get you to just go?

23:55 No.

23:55 Ma, look.

23:56 Deborah would never let me do that.

23:57 I can't do that.

23:58 Now, that would be a real present.

24:01 Look, Ma, I would love to go, but I that wouldn't be wouldn't be fair to Robert.

24:07 No, no, I don't mind.

24:10 I think it's fair.

24:12 In fact, it's more than fair.

24:14 It's funny.

24:17 Robert, you can stay home and take care of your father.

24:23 Also funny.

24:26 Raven.

24:32 This day started out so good.

24:37 So, she ate them.

24:38 THAT'S RIGHT.

24:39 BECAUSE TWO DONUTS are enough.

24:41 Well, how many did you have?

24:43 Why do you change the subject?

24:44 Wait a minute.

24:45 Wait a minute.

24:46 Wait a minute.

24:46 I know what to do.

24:47 I know what to do.

24:48 Get out.

24:52 WHAT'S the matter, dear?

24:54 Michael might get left back in preschool.

24:58 What?

24:58 Oh, interesting.

25:01 What?

25:01 What's so interesting?

25:02 What is he stupid?

25:05 Nobody's stupid, Frank.

25:07 Michael's a little young for the class.

25:08 And besides, girls mature faster than boys.

25:12 Oh, so I guess Jeffy's fine then.

25:16 All right.

25:18 Stop it, Frank.

25:19 Raymond's upset.

25:21 It's okay, dear.

25:22 It's just preschool.

25:24 That's what I told him.

25:25 And if he has to stay, Jeffrey will stay with him.

25:27 Oh, that's good.

25:28 No, no, no.

25:30 Why not, Frank?

25:31 Law of nature.

25:32 You get left behind, you get eaten.

25:36 You're too soft on the kids.

25:38 You got to push them.

25:39 Push them forward.

25:40 Just keep pushing them.

25:44 Until when, Frank?

25:46 Until they cry.

25:49 That's nature's way of letting you know you pushed enough.

25:58 Here's a man they let have two children.

26:03 Raymond, don't worry about the boys.

26:05 They're beautiful, sweet boys.

26:08 They're going to fly away soon enough.

26:10 Yeah.

26:10 All right, Ma.

26:11 Look, I want them to move up to kindergarten and be with the other children.

26:15 Other children are overrated.

26:19 But it won't hurt Michael and Jeffrey to stay little one more year.

26:25 You know that's what I did with you.

26:33 What?

26:32 It's funny.

26:35 I never told you this, but when you were the twins age,

26:39 do you remember nursery school used to be

26:41 on J Street with the pretty yellow flowers out front?

26:45 Well, you and I would walk there and back together every morning.

26:49 You were so cute holding my hand.

26:51 So, when it came time for you to go to kindergarten,

26:54 which was cross town with a bus,

26:56 I decided it would be nice for everybody

26:58 if you stayed in preschool one more year.

27:06 You left me back.

27:08 Left back for love that.

27:13 And you were slow.

27:15 I remember you couldn't even cut paper.

27:26 Wait, what?

27:28 What was wrong with me?

27:29 Nothing, sweetie.

27:31 You were just a little young, too.

27:33 So, you stayed there one more year,

27:34 and we got to walk by the yellow flowers some more.

27:47 That's That's why I was always the oldest in my class.

27:51 Yellow flowers.

27:56 You knew?

27:58 No.

27:58 Yes, you.

27:58 Of course you did.

27:59 That's what was so interesting.

28:01 Okay, I knew.

28:03 Why didn't you tell me?

28:04 I don't know.

28:05 You tell your BROTHER THIS.

28:06 I COULDN'T.

28:07 WHY?

28:08 BECAUSE BECAUSE WHY?

28:09 BECAUSE I FELT SORRY for you.

28:12 You felt sorry for me.

28:15 You felt sorry for me, Ray.

28:22 It was just PRE

28:28 I was just maybe I should waited another year to tell him.

28:48 Frank, I'm sick of this.

28:49 Go clean your whiskers out of the sink.

28:53 after you.

28:59 You know, this Wait a second, Dad.

29:01 That the Batman thing is not the same.

29:03 Okay, cuz you ruined my cards.

29:05 I saved Alli's cards.

29:06 She wanted to get rid of all the cards for one, which is what she wanted to do.

29:10 Oh, will you stop, please?

29:12 Huh?

29:12 It's over.

29:13 What kind of cards?

29:14 Nothing.

29:15 Well, just this Korean thing the kids are into now.

29:18 Oh, how can you do?

29:21 What car did she have?

29:23 See, I don't know.

29:23 Scrammy something or other.

29:24 A scramor.

29:27 You know about this stuff?

29:28 A little.

29:30 Scramor is the fastest creature on Hacky Dooo Mountain.

29:35 He starts off as a slug of awar.

29:37 And he can only evolve into a scramar if he gets the sonic crystal.

29:42 That's why scramars are rare and valuable.

29:50 I'm grandma.

29:54 I have this and candy.

29:59 Well, wait, wait, wait a minute, Mom.

30:01 How valuable is a scrammy saw card?

30:03 Oh, you can't find them in the stores.

30:05 Believe me, I looked.

30:06 But if you find one mint condition, no creases, that's $65.

30:14 $65?

30:13 Holy crap.

30:17 This is the work of the North Koreans.

30:25 So, you had a scramby's and you lost it.

30:27 Yep.

30:28 What do you know, Ray?

30:29 Ally knew what she was doing all along.

30:32 Or Parker did.

30:36 What?

30:34 You, sir, of a numskull.

30:38 Num skullog.

30:42 Wait a minute.

30:42 Parker Parker didn't know.

30:45 Oh, he was just trying to show me what a great dad he is.

30:47 He took you for a ride, Satchimo.

30:51 Come on.

30:52 Hey, wake up.

30:53 You think this is just hacked cards?

30:56 You think it's about daddy and setting a nice example for a little boy?

31:00 This is business.

31:02 This is 65 bucks.

31:05 Pull your head out of your pants.

31:10 No, Frank.

31:10 Bill Parker's not like that.

31:12 Where are you going?

31:14 I got a little unfinished business with your boyfriend.

31:21 Boyfriend?

31:22 Well, this could explain why all the kids are blonde.

31:33 And smart.

31:35 I have chicken soup.

31:38 What are you doing?

31:39 Huh?

31:39 No, nothing.

31:40 I just

31:40 get back into bed.

31:42 Oh, boys.

31:44 Boys, you shouldn't be up here getting him all excited.

31:47 It's okay, Marie.

31:47 He's fine.

31:48 You're still saying that.

31:51 I said get into bed.

31:52 Oh, Deborah actually thinks that I should not.

31:54 Don't let her pressure you.

31:56 Give me your head.

31:59 This is a person who should not be standing.

32:02 What?

32:02 What?

32:03 Why?

32:03 I could bake ziti on your head.

32:06 Oh, go lie down,

32:08 Marie.

32:08 My god.

32:08 HE WAS JUST PLAYING BASKETBALL.

32:10 HOW'S YOUR THROAT?

32:11 It It's a little scratchy.

32:12 It is scratchy.

32:15 And you're you're giving him pizza.

32:17 I didn't cheese a known fle producer.

32:21 All right.

32:22 Take that out of here

32:23 right away.

32:23 Mrs.

32:23 B.

32:24 All right.

32:24 Yeah.

32:25 Where's your blue blanket?

32:26 Oh, it's in the laundry.

32:31 Here you go.

32:32 Now, I I know you're in pain, but I want you to try to get this all done.

32:36 Okay.

32:37 All right.

32:37 Just breathe it in.

32:39 Oh, yeah.

32:40 That smells good.

32:41 That does smell good.

32:42 She makes good soup.

32:43 That'll fix her right up.

32:44 That stuff will grow back a limb.

32:48 And And uh what else do you feel?

32:51 Are Are you achy?

32:52 I don't know.

32:53 Where in your chest or your legs?

32:55 I both are actually both.

32:56 What about coughing?

32:57 Are you coughing a LITTLE BIT?

32:59 ALL RIGHT, that's enough.

33:01 I can't take this anymore.

33:04 But Deborah, Raymond is sick.

33:06 Oh, that's right.

33:07 Raymond's sick.

33:07 Raymond is very sick.

33:08 And do you know why?

33:09 Because you made him sick.

33:11 You're both sick.

33:15 I am giving Raymond what he needs.

33:17 You're giving Raymond what you need.

33:19 A sick little boy to TAKE CARE OF.

33:21 WELL, I DON'T NEED ANOTHER LITTLE BOY.

33:23 And every time you come over here,

33:25 Raymond takes another step backwards and I got TO WEED HIM ALL OVER AGAIN.

33:32 WELL, I'm busy.

33:36 And I don't appreciate the implication that I am

33:38 not a good wife and mother and not nurturing.

33:41 I'm a damn fine nurturer.

33:44 Now get out of bed and where you take your soup

33:49 and your flowers and your probably HOMEBAKED BREAD AND GET OUT OF OUR BEDROOM.

33:55 WHAT?

33:56 UH-HUH.

33:57 UH-HUH.

33:58 OKAY.

33:59 That was Dr.

34:00 Sundram's office.

34:01 Get back into bed.

34:02 You got strep throat.

34:06 Hi, Ma.

34:08 Hello, Raymond.

34:12 Uh, listen, Ma, about the journal.

34:17 I uh I want to apologize for what you saw in there.

34:24 Um, could you not look at me while I say this?

34:30 All right.

34:32 Um, you know, when you're 14, the the world is a very confusing and sexy place.

34:43 Ma, come on.

34:46 So, I just I just want you to know that I outgrew all that stuff, okay?

34:51 And I don't do that stuff anymore, hardly.

34:56 So, I'm I'm sorry that you had to see that.

34:58 I just want you to know that I'm not still some kind of weirdo.

35:00 All right.

35:01 So, I'm I'm going to go take a shower.

35:03 Maybe you want to do the same.

35:07 Raymond.

35:06 Raymond, do you think I'm approved?

35:11 What?

35:11 Do you think all that stuff is why I'm upset?

35:14 What you did as a teenager?

35:16 I don't care about your happy dream.

35:18 All right, Mom.

35:20 Oh, where you have your little hair?

35:22 Mom, stop it.

35:24 I mean, oh, why you entered my sewing kit for MY MEASURING TAPE?

35:27 OH, GOD.

35:31 OH.

35:31 OH.

35:32 OH, come on.

35:33 Grow up.

35:34 That's not what I'm upset about.

35:36 I mean, give me a little credit.

35:38 Please stop talking.

35:39 No, I will not.

35:41 As if you've forgotten October 9th, 1974.

35:46 I have to forget everything now.

35:50 Did you forget what you wrote on October 9th?

35:52 I don't know.

36:00 What?

36:00 You still have that?

36:01 No.

36:01 Give me Give me Give ME October 9th, 1974.

36:12 A single entry on this particular day.

36:17 Not much to report except I e hat my mom.

36:27 That's it.

36:30 There's nothing else on the page.

36:32 No reason for it before or after.

36:34 Just here between I dropped a pencil to look up Mrs.

36:38 Huswick's dress and today Mrs.

36:42 Huswick caught me doing the pencil thing.

36:49 Just this sentence.

36:52 No exclamation point after like you were having some sort of a tantrum.

36:57 It's just written like a fact.

37:00 I e hat my mom.

37:07 Well, so what?

37:08 Mom, that doesn't mean anything.

37:09 Then why did you write it?

37:11 What was it?

37:11 Something I did?

37:12 I don't know.

37:13 It was probably nothing that you did.

37:16 Oh, so it's what I thought.

37:18 You just generally hated me.

37:20 What?

37:21 What are you talking about?

37:22 I was a kid.

37:23 Every kid probably wrote that.

37:25 Robbie didn't.

37:25 You want to know what he wrote on the same day?

37:27 Oh, no.

37:30 No.

37:33 No.

37:33 Mom.

37:38 Terrific chicken tonight.

37:40 That's a fake book, Ma.

37:41 No, that's a decoy.

37:42 THE REAL ONE'S in a safe deposit box at First National.

37:45 YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY you sound.

37:46 It's true.

37:48 We're not talking about you, brother.

37:50 I need to know why you wrote that.

37:51 I don't know, Ma.

37:53 Well, do you know when it this feeling began?

37:55 No.

37:55 No.

37:55 But do you know when this feeling ended?

37:58 No.

38:02 I see.

38:11 Oh, come on, ma.

38:13 What?

38:13 I don't hate you.

38:15 I never hated you.

38:18 I I don't know why I wrote that.

38:23 I'm sorry.

38:27 I'm okay.

38:28 I'm sorry.

38:28 That That was a It's a terrible thing to write.

38:33 I was wrong to ever write that.

38:38 You know, I didn't really want to be a tap dancer either.

38:45 Okay.

38:45 We okay now?

38:49 Oh, I guess we are.

38:50 Okay, just get in there.

38:53 Come on, let's go.

38:56 Oh, you boys have done a beautiful job putting these together.

39:01 Thank you, M.

39:02 Thanks.

39:02 Do me a favor.

39:03 Don't sand them in here.

39:07 Sand them.

39:08 Of course.

39:08 You can't paint them until you sand them.

39:12 Paint them.

39:14 I can't have unfinished wood in my house.

39:17 It doesn't go with the decor.

39:20 It's the laundry room.

39:23 This color will go very nice with that orange box of Tide.

39:27 All right.

39:27 All right.

39:28 Look, Ma.

39:28 I'm just going to put it back here for now, and we'll paint it on Sunday.

39:32 No, I have people coming tomorrow.

39:34 Oh, you might as well just drag it out to the trash.

39:41 All right, just call the guys and tell them we'll meet him at the course.

39:45 Really?

39:46 I mean, it's unbelievable.

39:47 Of course it is.

39:49 I'll be honest with you, Marie.

39:51 Looking at those shows, I think Lee's going to win this one.

39:54 What do you mean win what?

39:55 Ah, Lee's all full of herself cuz her son

39:58 built a special box for her spoon collection.

40:03 That has nothing to do with anything.

40:05 Give me a break.

40:06 That's why your mother wants to drag Lee into the laundry

40:08 room so she can show her what you two do for her.

40:12 Ow.

40:15 THAT'S WHY WE'RE DOING THIS, MOM.

40:17 BECAUSE CUZ CUZ LEE'S SON HAS NOTHING better

40:19 to do all day than to kiss his mom's behind.

40:22 Have you seen Lee's behind?

40:25 It does take all day.

40:29 And yet we still felt bad like what we were doing wasn't good enough.

40:32 YEAH.

40:32 WHAT?

40:33 WE ALWAYS FEEL BAD.

40:34 We fall for it every time.

40:36 The guilt.

40:37 YOUR GUILT.

40:39 IF YOU FEEL GUILTY, it's not because of me.

40:41 Oh, yeah.

40:42 Right, Ma.

40:42 And by the way, where's the limp?

40:51 I feel very sad.

40:56 All this anger against me because of your PRECIOUS GOLF.

41:03 NO.

41:03 NO.

41:03 OH, THAT'S SUCH A STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK.

41:05 YOU'VE BEEN MAKING US FEEL GUILTY ABOUT STUFF

41:07 OUR WHOLE LIVES AND WE'RE SICK OF IT.

41:09 SICK.

41:14 NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH AND IT'S ALWAYS OUR FAULT.

41:17 HEY, YOU CAN'T SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT.

41:19 YOU DO.

41:19 She's not my mother.

41:23 I'm sorry.

41:23 Look, THE GUILT TRIP, IT'S OVER.

41:26 COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

41:27 And we're not moving that.

41:28 That's right.

41:29 Amen, BROTHER.

41:30 FINE.

41:30 GO.

41:31 LEAVE AN OLD CRIPPLED WOMAN WITH UNFINISHED self and uncaring husband yesterday.

41:46 That would have worked us into some kind of Venus SEX TRAP.

42:01 FIRST of all, do not say sex trap to me.

42:05 And second of all, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

42:09 I resent the fact that you see me as this manipulative monster.

42:16 And by the way, what would be so terrible if you and Amy had a baby?

42:21 Ma, try to understand.

42:22 It's not the right time right now.

42:25 I understand.

42:26 What do you think, Amy?

42:28 Well, I think we both need to be ready.

42:31 But I am ready.

42:35 No, Marie.

42:35 Me and Robert.

42:37 Yeah, Ma.

42:37 You could see that, can't you?

42:40 Of course I can.

42:41 I only want the best for you.

42:42 Get your ass out of my house.

42:59 What?

43:03 Marie, you don't mean that.

43:05 Well, if they want to live in my house, there are certain rules.

43:09 Ah, come on.

43:10 Nobody's throwing anybody out.

43:12 No.

43:12 No.

43:13 Let's think about this.

43:16 Since Marie has been paying so much attention to them lately,

43:18 she's been nagging me less.

43:22 On the other hand, this has also made my dinner somewhat tardy.

43:31 Don't worry.

43:31 Okay, we're moving out.

43:32 Come on, Amy.

43:33 Let's go.

43:34 Robert, wait.

43:37 I don't know what to say, Marie.

43:39 I feel used.

43:42 I mean, I fell for all this.

43:45 With all due respect, this is between me and my husband.

43:50 And just so you know, Robert even was willing to try,

43:53 but he couldn't perform because he couldn't get you out of his mind.

44:09 Believe me, and I've tried hard.

44:11 It takes a few years.

44:22 And worst of all, Robert thought that maybe

44:26 you appreciated him for himself and not his All right, take it easy.

44:33 Amy, I don't know where Robert gets this idea that I don't appreciate him.

44:37 I do.

44:38 I do.

44:40 If anything, I have always favored you over Raymond.

44:47 It's true.

44:51 And Robbie, I may have paid a bit more attention to Raymond,

44:55 but that's only because he was a needy, soft, weak little boy.

45:04 You, on the other hand, you've always been so strong.

45:08 I never had to worry about you being bullied

45:10 on the playground because you were always a boy who who had a five:00 shadow.

45:21 Yes, maybe I was wrong to try to create conditions that would

45:25 encourage you to be fruitful and multiply as it says in the Bible.

45:33 But that's only because it would be a waste not to pass on these strong legs,

45:37 these broad shoulders, and this marvelous set of teeth.

45:50 I'm sorry, Raymond, but your teeth were always a disaster.

45:56 Well, that's very nice, Ma.

45:57 But you really expect me to believe this?

46:02 No, I don't expect you to believe anything I say.

46:07 I obviously have failed as a mother and I was

46:10 only hoping to have one more chance as a grandmother.

46:13 Oh, but Marie, you are a grandmother.

46:15 What about our kids?

46:19 Oh, where are they?

46:22 Ally, Michael, Jeffrey, you know, used to be that I'd walk through that door

46:27 and I'd be smothered with hugs and kisses.

46:33 Yeah, grandma's here.

46:40 Hi.

46:42 Hi.

46:42 Hi.

46:45 See?

46:45 Oh, come on, Marie.

46:46 You know they love you.

46:48 Yeah, maybe if you just gave them a little time to miss you.