🔴LIVE🔴ADVICE. INSIGHT. FEEDBACK. (UN)INTENTIONAL ROASTING | !discord !cameo !rice

2:32 What do you mean semicconsistently?

2:35 Also, huge thank you to everyone who's

2:37 subbing and following while uh the stream starts.

2:40 I appreciate all of you,

2:41 the unsung heroes of the beginning of the stream, including you, I guess.

2:47 Pigs.

3:52 I go up.

3:53 I go up.

3:55 Here I Wow.

3:57 Wo!

3:58 I go up.

3:59 I go up up your ass.

4:03 I need a dick, but it's not yours.

4:06 100 coins.

4:09 I need a dick and it's not yours.

4:12 I'm a spend boyfriend.

4:17 I bend them over.

4:19 I bend them over.

4:36 84.

4:51 Press one.

4:54 Press two if you want to follow through.

4:56 Press three if you're gay.

4:59 Press four.

5:02 Think about who think about think about[ __]

5:06 Do they know they're[ __] Let's find out.

5:09 You're a[ __][ __] And you should feel like a[ __] Cookies and blank on them.

5:16 Give me the icing sticky.

5:19 You should[ __] You should[ __] You should[ __] with the again and again.

5:35 I go over the ass.

5:38 I go over the ass.

5:40 I go over a girl.

6:26 I make all my songs live on Twitch.

6:28 You can check that out in the link down below.

6:31 Hello, hello, and welcome in.

6:32 It's so good to see you.

6:34 Today's a Monday stream.

6:35 We tend to give help and advice.

6:36 So, if you are struggling with a decision

6:38 and you want to bounce it off us, go ahead.

6:41 I will say I am hungry as[ __] I did a big workout.

6:46 I forgot to have lunch.

6:47 So, I've been stuffing my face during that inter that intro.

6:51 And I might stuff it a little bit more while we're talking.

6:54 I haven't decided yet cuz I am still hungry.

6:58 I need to start remembering that hung means something else to you guys

7:01 cuz I would usually say I'm so hung as in like short for hungry.

7:05 But you guys always see it the some the wrong way for some reason or another.

7:09 Anyway, let me put the music back on.

7:12 I wish I loved you.

7:21 Everyone is hung sometimes.

7:23 Yeah, depending on what you mean by the definition of the word.

7:29 What a brilliant intro.

7:30 Hope you had a great bank holiday.

7:31 It was a really lovely day.

7:33 So, I ran my bunnies outside and um I had a new bird come to my bird feeder.

7:38 I have like a bird feeder camera on my bird feeder.

7:40 So, like and it like it will identify what kind of species

7:44 has landed there and give me loads of information about that particular bird.

7:48 And I got really excited cuz bullfinches arrived.

7:50 I never thought I'd see bullfinches in my life,

7:52 but I was pretty excited about them.

7:53 And that's how you know I'm an old biddy.

7:56 Because young people would never give a[ __] about such things.

8:06 Are you able to treat the birds with ants on toast?

8:09 Don't you dare.

8:10 Don't you dare.

8:11 What is wrong with you?

8:12 You are diabolical for making me remember that again.

8:16 Rain, thank you so much for the 20 gifties.

8:18 I hope you're doing good, sweetheart.

8:22 How's Oscar doing now?

8:24 He's doing all right.

8:25 I have noticed that he is a little bit skinnier.

8:27 So, given the combination of the fact that he did

8:29 have a recent belly ache and he is like more bony,

8:33 I'm I'm really tempted to take him to the vet and be like, "Is he okay?

8:37 Is there is there everything?" Cuz he's such

8:39 a dandy little lion and he's so cute.

8:41 But I am very aware that that that particular

8:44 type of lion head, they die so early.

8:46 It's really rare to get them to even 8 years old.

8:51 So, I'm hoping he's okay.

8:53 I really am.

8:58 And he sees a normalsized rabbit

8:59 and gets concerned when they aren't balloon shaped.

9:01 Listen, he feels bony.

9:04 He doesn't feel healthy.

9:06 He feels bony.

9:07 Like, not even in a skinny way.

9:09 Like, he just feels bony.

9:10 Like, his muscles ain't as good.

9:17 How old is Oscar?

9:18 I forget.

9:19 if I'm quite honest with you.

9:21 I know I got him since I started streaming, but I forget how old he is.

9:26 Do you guys remember when I first the first stream?

9:28 Cuz there was a a first stream I was like, "By the way, I got a new bunny.

9:31 Look at him." And I showed you cuz that's that's like Okay,

9:36 so he's about five according to the mods and they're paying attention.

9:39 I don't really pay as much attention to me as you guys do.

9:42 So, I'm going to trust your word on it.

9:49 I'm so hung in Australia means you're hung over.

9:52 Oh well that's great.

9:54 Here it means you got a massive donkey dick.

9:56 So slight slight difference.

10:00 Might be a little bit uh crosswires.

10:06 It does though.

10:06 I'm not even joking.

10:07 That's not even a tick.

10:10 I feel like the Australian should know about this because if they don't,

10:16 it's going to warn them in some situations.

10:27 There's like what if you get really drunk on your wedding night

10:32 and your mother-in-law comes in and makes you breakfast and it's like,

10:35 did you have a lovely wedding, dear?

10:37 and you were like, "Oh my god, I'm so hung.

10:40 I need you to know I'm not sure if I

10:41 can eat that cuz I'm just so hung right now." Like,

10:46 that might be a slightly inappropriate thing to say to your mother-in-law.

10:48 Not if you're Australian, though.

11:07 I learned to cherish life.

11:08 I found out this week that my class name classmate died at the age of 43.

11:11 I'm so sorry, Ace.

11:13 That's horrible.

11:14 I will say there are cooler reasons to cherish life than guilt.

11:19 Because what you're saying is guilt.

11:21 Going I got to live longer than that person

11:25 so maybe I should appreciate my life a lot more.

11:27 is going.

11:27 I feel guilty that I lived longer than you

11:29 and I haven't been appreciating every minute of it.

11:33 I've lived an entire lifespan according to you

11:37 compared to you and I'm still not happy.

11:41 Guilt doesn't usually make you happier.

11:43 It makes you feel like you should feel

11:44 something which isn't the same as feeling something.

11:51 Is that a brownie?

11:54 What is a cocoa vanilla raised bar?

12:04 Do you consider yourself goth or just black Anita?

12:08 I think some people might have a little bit teensy watsy little

12:12 bit of a problem with me referring to myself as black Anita.

12:20 Just a small just a small problem.

12:23 Gargoyle, thank you so[ __] much.

12:25 E Holtzman, so good to see you.

12:27 Thank you.

12:27 Thank you.

12:28 Thank you.

12:28 Thank you.

12:58 Pardon me.

12:59 So, Peaks just did a super chat.

13:01 I've never seen that before.

13:02 Basically, you see how that works.

13:04 I just see an amount of money next to your uh comment, which is interesting.

13:12 Burpanita, I'm not sure how good that would be for branding,

13:15 but I'll take it under under advisement.

13:17 Thanks for the suggestion.

13:22 I love you.

13:28 There were no alerts.

13:29 I feel unfulfilled.

13:31 Well, there's so far there's only one way I know of to get your um

13:35 donor message read out and I think

13:38 that's the PayPal link in my Twitch description.

13:41 I think you can submit there and the mods will see it first.

13:45 So, you can't be like, "Hey,

13:47 you crazy old bent." You know, I'm masturbating right now.

13:51 Like that kind of stuff.

13:52 We we we don't let the message read out on the stream,

13:58 but the money doesn't get refunded, which I find[ __] hilarious.

14:02 So, the people who want to pay like 50 quid to roast

14:04 me basically got paid 50 quid to get ducked on and disappointed.

14:16 Wait, why did you do it twice?

14:20 Oh, wait.

14:20 So, there is an alert.

14:22 That's cool to know.

14:23 Conveniently all over my face.

14:25 Maybe I should shimmy.

14:27 Is there Is there a pee beneath me?

14:29 No, he's in the bed.

14:30 Do you see that little He's like dollop shaped right now.

14:33 He's so cute.

14:38 Only Anita is allowed to say inappropriate things on this stream.

14:41 Yes, exactly.

14:42 You understand the rules.

14:43 Perfect.

14:46 But the difference is like I'm not just going to randomly masturbate at use.

14:49 I think I'm allowed to have this privilege chat.

14:52 However, I sleep with Chad because I felt like it.

15:06 Thank you so much.

15:28 Don't make me.

15:28 I'm just choking a little.

15:31 There we go.

15:32 No more eating on stream, I think, in case I die.

15:41 Mer, thank you so much for the bits.

15:43 I appreciate that, hun.

15:46 What were you munching?

15:48 So, I had two Graze bars.

15:49 One of them was a banana banana bread one.

15:53 One was a sweet cocoa vanilla one.

15:57 And I also had a little bit of this, but I didn't finish it.

16:06 But not cuz it's not good.

16:07 I'll probably finish it later.

16:13 Doom Gang, thank you so much.

16:14 I appreciate it.

16:22 Also, I saw someone was like,

16:23 "Do I dump the last of my savings into my project car?" And I was thinking,

16:28 I'm not I'm not like in any way qualified

16:32 to dictate what you do with your money, mate.

16:34 But I think that might not be a very good idea at all

16:38 personally cuz like a car could get stolen even if it's not finished.

16:52 Like you should always have like some spare money.

16:54 Also, if you needed that bunny for that money for like an emergency vet bill

16:58 or an emergency medical bill or something like

17:01 this, you can't be like be right back.

17:03 Let me just sell my unfinished car real quick.

17:21 Also, I saw recently, so I I don't know.

17:24 I've been watching a lot of content.

17:25 I don't know if you've been watching a lot of content,

17:26 but I watched this girl and she was a larger lady and she was like,

17:31 "I'm fat and here's how I harvest stupid men for money and you can do it, too.

17:37 Because in this economy, if you're going to get raged at by men,

17:41 you might as well be profiting from it." And she basically did things like she

17:45 makes like dairy content and she has like a farm and she has some cows.

17:48 So, she positions herself next to her cows during her content so

17:52 that all the men have to do in the comments is go,

17:54 "Which one's the cow?" And there are so many people commenting it that it

17:59 boosts her video and it gets her more views because it gets more engagement.

18:03 And because of those two things put together,

18:06 she gets more of a payout from her content.

18:08 And she's like, "I line this[ __] up

18:10 and don't acknowledge it." So the men in the comments

18:13 can boost and just get me paid because

18:16 they're really weird about it and really[ __] stupid.

18:21 Yeah, she's like a professional rage ber and she's just like

18:24 I'm just existing and I just have a body, you know?

18:27 So like if if I can get paid passively

18:32 and I mean they're going to give her[ __] either way,

18:34 so she might as well benefit from it.

18:45 Okay, misinterest.

18:47 I don't know if you could call her a misinterest for that, though,

18:50 because she's only targeting stupid men.

18:52 So, in order for her to be a misinterest, she'd have to hate all men,

18:57 and that would mean that you think all men are stupid.

19:00 So, is she the miss or are you natural selection?

19:09 I guess I don't know if it's natural selection because

19:11 she's not actively killing the men who fall for it.

19:15 I mean, it would only it would be death or sex

19:18 involved somehow for this to be in any way natural selection.

19:22 And I don't think either are involved.

19:23 It's not like she's just like shooting all the people who leave mean comments.

19:29 Sushi TV.

19:30 Thank you so much.

19:32 Hello, sweetheart.

19:50 That's not misinterest.

19:52 They The dudes chose They The dudes don't have to say anything.

19:55 They chose to be mean.

19:56 Exactly.

19:57 It just happens to be men that are doing it.

19:59 Like she's she's inundated by a lot of angry men who

20:03 are just mad that she's not slim and she's harvesting them.

20:06 She's like, "Be yes, be angry.

20:09 Go ahead.

20:09 Rage at my body." Yes, cuz she gets a pay pay.

20:12 She gets paid out of it.

20:14 Sarge, thank you so much.

20:15 I appreciate the prime.

20:16 I've seen people rage bait for money quite a few times.

20:19 Um there's a trans lady who runs a stream.

20:22 Um, and she just does casual stuff like normal stream things,

20:27 but people can donate and an emote will pop

20:30 up pop up that puts a mustache on her.

20:33 And so she's like, "Stop it.

20:35 Stop it.

20:36 It's transphobic." But she makes bank out of all this transphobia.

20:40 Absolutely.

20:41 Like she makes so much money off of it every single stream.

20:45 And I'm a little bit part of me is like,

20:48 I don't know if there's a way to turn this alert off.

20:51 And if you could, if it would even be worth it.

20:57 Wait, really?

20:57 Yeah, I've seen her streaming for years and it's it's making her a lot of money.

21:02 It really is.

21:04 So, like, I feel like there are professional rage bears

21:06 out there who know that there's an angry demographic of people,

21:09 but rather than letting it hurt them,

21:11 they just find a way to benefit from the energy.

21:14 And I think that's the topiest tier,

21:15 most genius level to handle adversity is to go,

21:18 okay, how can I make this benefit me?

21:20 If I can't choose whether or not I have to deal

21:22 with this[ __] how do I make this[ __] profitable?

21:43 Ah, you're the only person who can give a compliment,

21:52 an insult, and a jump scare in the same sentence.

21:54 It's like emotional roulette.

21:56 Who?

21:56 Wait, what?

21:57 Are you quoting me or are you just saying that about me?

21:59 Because to be honest with you, I'm sure many people can compliment you,

22:02 insult you, and jump scare you in the same sentence.

22:05 I guess I just have like a medical excuse, which is different.

22:19 Did you kiss dick?

22:23 I've been a follower for a few years and I just

22:25 want to tell you my wife has a cousin who has Tourette's.

22:27 However, a much mild case than yours,

22:30 but I your streams and YouTube content have helped

22:33 me a lot in seeing her for who she is.

22:35 That's awesome.

22:36 I kind of feel like when I first landed, I had to do a lot of explaining about

22:39 the condition and now I'm just really good at getting people.

22:41 so used to it that they can see the human behind it.

22:44 I feel like if you let people with Tourette's make content and just exist,

22:48 then people won't think of them as just the person with Tourette's anymore.

22:52 Like I would like to see a world where, you know,

22:54 someone isn't referred to as the cousin with Tourette's or whatever,

22:58 the girl with Tourette's,

22:58 the guy with Tourette's, but like you get so like used to it that they are them,

23:05 that they are just who they are.

23:10 Cuz like when we were watching that video

23:12 together the other day where that like female pilot

23:16 in the 60s and the man saw her walk to go be the pilot and they're like,

23:20 "That's your pilot." And he was like, "Oh god." And he looked terrified.

23:22 He was like, "Really?

23:23 Oh no." Right?

23:25 And he's like, "I bet she was considered the female pilot." But lady pilots now,

23:30 no one would refer to them as the female pilot.

23:32 They'd just be Jill, you know?

23:34 They'd just be Amy, Jane, Katie.

23:37 like and I feel like I would like to see

23:39 a world where that's how people feel about Tourette's as well.

23:47 Yeah.

23:48 Like when you get to the point where it's

23:49 not like the gay couple who live down the street,

23:52 it's James and Andy, my neighbors, you know?

24:01 Wouldn't it be weird if everyone in the world woke up with Tourette's tomorrow?

24:09 It would be chaos.

24:10 A lot of people would immediately die.

24:13 Like abso fuckingutely.

24:14 Um, so people would try to drive and some

24:17 people it would be so severe that they would crash.

24:20 Like people with Tourette's can drive,

24:22 but like if you had the really severe kind, you can't anymore.

24:26 um nobody could operate like really really dangerous machinery safely anymore.

24:34 All these sorts of things.

24:35 Yeah.

24:36 If you're living in your own personal

24:38 earthquake where your like limbs are doing all

24:40 sorts of[ __] And like imagine anyone

24:43 who has to use speech commands for anything.

24:46 They're pretty[ __] I mean,

24:48 if you've lost both of your limbs and you're operating your PC and you're

24:51 like Alexa and you're like ordering things

24:53 on Amazon and[ __] with just speech alone,

24:57 um, because you can't type, then Tourette's is going to really be terrible.

25:03 The first day of that, you're going

25:04 to accidentally order yourself 20 dildos and 52 pizzas,

25:08 and, you know, you're going to send some pretty awful texts to your in-laws.

25:19 might sound weird, but are you hyper mobile?

25:20 Yes, I am.

25:21 So, like one of the immediate tests is,

25:23 can you put your thumb straight onto your wrist?

25:28 And the answer is yes.

25:30 But I got the weird ones.

25:31 Like I can move my trachea around.

25:34 That's not supposed to do that.

25:36 I didn't know.

25:40 What the[ __] She's a witch.

25:42 Ah, I mean technically probably by like by med

25:49 middle by medieval standards I I was probably a witch.

25:53 By medieval standards I was probably a lot of things.

26:17 Wait, not everyone can do that with their throat.

26:18 No.

26:20 If you can hold your Adam's apple, your trachea,

26:23 and you can just move it from side to side,

26:26 um, like and separate it from like your neck.

26:30 That's not normal.

26:52 Don't get don't take this the wrong way, but have you seen Circus of Horrors?

26:55 Cuz there's a guy with the same condition.

26:57 __] I don't know if I could count as like part of a Circus of Horrors.

27:03 That's pretty[ __] That's a pretty harsh roast.

27:06 Like the horror of hearing swear words.

27:10 That's just a basic Australian.

27:16 That's not That's not horrible.

27:19 People would pay to see Well, actually,[ __] People do pay to see me.

27:25 And some of them even do pay to see me just because I swear.

27:28 __] Am I already a circus of horrors?

27:30 Has this been what this is the whole time?

27:43 guilty.

27:46 Um, well, this has been quite the realization.

27:48 Thank you.

28:01 __] off.

28:06 I mean, one of the things I noticed is that when I first got here,

28:08 a lot of people were laughing at me and they were like, "I feel bad laughing.

28:11 Is it okay to laugh?" Like, I got asked that a lot.

28:13 And I was like, "Bitch, I laugh at myself.

28:16 Why would I get mad at you for laughing?

28:27 Is it bad that I can move my trachea around with my hand?" Um,

28:30 you might have hypermobility, Rogue.

28:32 you might want to look into because like that you

28:34 might have some sort of connective tissue disorder might.

28:37 So, it might be worth looking into.

28:43 What I love about my hair is that I can just decide how much forehead I have.

28:47 That's perfect.

28:48 I think does she have like eight dumbbells behind her?

28:59 Uh, probably more than that.

29:00 Oh, you've just made me realize I didn't put them away after the workout.

29:03 But yes, I do have a lot of those.

29:13 I love you.

29:14 Have you always streamed on YouTube?

29:15 No, I haven't.

29:16 I've only just started pretty much.

29:17 I'm pretty new to YouTube streaming.

29:19 So, I am still streaming on Twitch.

29:20 I just learned how to stream the same thing to YouTube at the same time,

29:24 which is pretty cool.

29:25 I'm dabbling in multistreaming.

29:46 I wish all the people with conditions

29:48 or disabilities had a positive mind like you.

29:53 Uh, I kind of feel like I I don't really want

29:56 to pressure anybody who's going through some[ __] to be constantly happy about

30:00 it or to just constantly glaze themselves over it because I think

30:05 it's okay when bad things happen to you to be sad about it.

30:08 Um, but I do think that it's really really common to just find your new

30:13 normal and still find a reason to exist no matter what you're going through,

30:18 whether it's no matter what kind of challenge it is.

30:25 Huh?

30:31 Someone immediately asked how heavy my heaviest dick.

30:33 Dick dick dick dick.

30:34 My heaviest dick.

30:35 2 g.

30:36 Uh, my dick.

30:38 How many how many dick?

30:39 How many how many how many dick h how much my heaviest weight is?

30:43 And it's 12.5 kilos.

30:46 Um, so like I'm not doing the kind of exercises

30:50 yet where I'm just like lifting the heaviest weight till failure.

30:55 I'm sure I'll start doing those sorts of exercises,

30:57 but the kind that I'm doing right now um is different.

31:02 So I don't need much heavier than that yet.

31:19 Also, the second dumbbell finally came.

31:21 Yeah.

31:21 And so, like today I lifted both of them like this.

31:25 So, what is that like 25 kilos?

31:27 It's not very much, but it wasn't very challenging either.

31:32 So, cuz the whole point is I was doing lots of exercises

31:34 and I didn't want my arms to be too exhausted to do the rest.

32:05 Oh, thanks Tom tries Twitch.

32:07 I appreciate that.

32:08 It's cool that a lot of people are seeing

32:10 and hopping in after seeing the Tommy in an interview.

32:14 What will we get a workout stream?

32:18 No, you won't.

32:19 I used to do workout streams and I used

32:21 to love doing that cuz my community me and my community

32:23 used to follow a video together and it was

32:26 like it would keep me regular and working out.

32:29 Um, but then I got a video of someone watching the workout streams and jerky

32:33 off into a hot dog bun and it just grossed me out and I just couldn't.

32:38 I just I thought, "Okay, no, no more." I wonder if I tell that story,

32:51 there's always someone in chat who's like,

32:52 "Did he eat it afterwards?" And it's like,

32:54 "Why did you think that I would watch it to completion?" Why

32:58 did you think I'd stick around and play the video to find out?

33:15 I love you.

33:34 Oh, wait.

33:34 Is it 3:00?

33:35 Okay.

33:36 Okay.

33:36 I'll go do 3:00.

33:38 Hang on.

33:38 Let me get it up.

33:43 I don't know, man.

33:44 I just feel like I feel like Where's the treats?

34:27 It's Not my baby.

34:53 I go pee.

35:33 __] Some reason he likes gentle head pats like this.

35:46 He loves that[ __] Cute little baby.

36:01 You are.

36:08 He's got all his children do left about him.

36:10 Did you see what it's back?

36:27 Hello.

36:38 I just heard about TRS a month ago.

36:39 Wow.

36:40 Where have you been living?

36:41 Under a rock?

36:42 Like, that's been so much about Tourette's for years, my dude.

36:48 Uh-uh.

36:56 Have you ever had guinea pigs as pets?

36:58 We're indecisive between bunnies and guinea pigs.

37:01 Okay, I will give you my tits.

37:03 I will give you my lowdown on tits on on like

37:06 guineies versus tits versus bunnies because I've had both.

37:09 I've definitely had both.

37:10 Oh, he's asking for stepies.

37:11 Hang on, let me just step him.

37:13 Um, so I feel like guinea pigs are easier to contain.

37:17 Their poops are a little tiny tiny percentage grosser.

37:21 Like bunnies mostly produce like hard dry poops that you can just sweep up.

37:25 They're relatively sanitary poops.

37:27 Bunnies are easier to litter train than guinea pigs as well.

37:32 But bunnies can get into places they

37:34 shouldn't more easily destroy your life more easily.

37:37 So they can escape more.

37:38 they can find wires to chew and climb higher.

37:42 Guinea pigs are very easy to contain.

37:43 You can make quite a big pen for them with quite

37:45 a low fence around it and they won't be able to escape.

37:48 Um, so like those things, if you're going to have a house,

37:52 keep them in the house no matter which one you get.

37:54 Don't don't keep them in a hutch.

37:55 People who put their animals in a hut should go to prison.

37:58 Hutches are just the worst.

38:00 I know they sell them at the pet store, um,

38:02 but they they really are no life for these animals.

38:05 They're horrible, horrible things.

38:07 Um, so you should be keeping them indoors.

38:08 It triples or quadruples their lifespan to be kept indoors.

38:12 And you should be getting them a pen.

38:14 Um, so bunnies need a bit more space than

38:16 guinea pigs as well because guinea pigs are smaller.

38:19 Um, so I'd say like bunnies are the bigger investment I think,

38:23 but they you can have them like I have

38:25 my rabbits three roam and they are litter trained.

38:28 So they go to their litter tray,

38:30 they poop in there and they just hop around everywhere else

38:32 and it's relatively fine to do that and they're perfectly happy with that.

38:37 Um, so like I personally I prefer having rabbits to guinea pigs.

38:44 Don't put them together.

38:45 They shouldn't be kept together.

38:46 You can Google why.

38:47 But yeah, don't house bunnies and guinea pigs together.

38:53 Also, I just kind of feel like rabbits

38:55 are smarter than guinea pigs and they live longer,

38:58 so you can have a much more in-depth relationship with them.

39:00 And it's like, you know, it's a bigger commitment,

39:03 but I feel like it's a more indepth connection.

39:07 And with guinea pigs, I feel like they're a better starter pet.

39:09 Like, guinea pigs are easier to keep.

39:12 Absolutely.

39:14 Um, another thing is I don't use sawdust with either.

39:17 And you should definitely look into sawdust free keeping of animals.

39:21 Um, both for your health and for the animals

39:24 because it will give the animals respiratory issues,

39:26 which will they'll never get cured of and they will have until they die.

39:30 And it can also give you permanent respiratory issues.

39:33 So even with the dust extracted stuff.

39:35 So I would just advise don't live around sawdust.

39:38 Sawdust is bad for you.

39:49 Your whistle is so funny.

39:51 I love it.

39:51 Thank you.

39:51 I wasn't aware that I whistled at all this stream.

39:53 So if I have, that mean that just goes

39:55 to prove how much it's become background noise to me.

39:59 Do you take medication for your Tourette's

40:01 or do you have other managing methods?

40:02 I have been living with Tourette's

40:04 for a few years and finding methods is annoying.

40:06 I know others have other methods.

40:08 So, I found that the biggest way that I

40:10 control my ticks is by not controlling them.

40:12 So, if I think of them as something I have to hold in and hide from people,

40:15 then it builds up and it gets worse.

40:17 Um, and I tick more.

40:19 So, but also I don't take medication for my Tourette's for a few reasons.

40:22 One of them is that they just add additional side effects.

40:25 And none of my friends I have a lot

40:27 of people that I know with Tourette's syndrome and none

40:29 of them are on meds and none of them all

40:31 of them that have tried meds have not liked it.

40:34 I've not heard any positive reviews about the meds.

40:37 So I've just not gone with it cuz

40:39 I've become really well adapted at dealing with Tourette's.

40:42 I haven't become really well adapted

40:43 at say nerve damage or rapid permanent weight

40:46 gain that stays even after you've given up the meds and things like this.

40:50 So, with that in mind, I've just never medicated it because I'm like,

40:53 I know how to deal with this, but I don't

40:55 know how to deal with those kinds of side effects.

40:57 That would be a whole new problem to add on to my life.

41:02 Is Pete digging hay?

41:04 Yes, he is digging hay.

41:07 He's uh nestled all the way up in it.

41:09 He's really enjoying it.

41:25 I[ __] you, Dad.

41:28 You can hear the rustling ever so slightly.

41:30 I wonder if my bunny can I wonder if I

41:33 can just put it in there and you can see him.

41:35 Hang on.

41:37 Hang on.

41:37 Hang on.

41:38 Hang on.

41:48 Does P cam still have signal?

41:52 I love your tits.

41:54 It does.

41:56 Well, would you look at that?

42:03 So, can you see him?

42:06 Okay.

42:07 Nestling in his head and eating.

42:10 If I move it back, can you see from there?

42:20 But that's essentially his literature.

42:26 I love him.

42:39 Why he's so cute?

42:40 Cuz I don't know.

42:41 That's what he does for a living.

42:43 That's how he earns his keep.

42:44 He just bees cute.

42:51 But yeah, I did have guinea pigs.

42:52 Another thing is if you get boys, the boys are horny.

42:55 And when the boy guinea pigs are horny,

42:58 they go and they wiggle their butts from side to side.

43:06 And this means I'm going to mount you.

43:09 I'm going to mount you, you know.

43:12 And so, um, I had a pig called Bill and he had four friends.

43:16 And the four friends did not appreciate Bill constantly trying to mount them.

43:20 So, when he did the dinosaur noise, they'll run and hide.

43:24 And they go and they don't go hide, right?

43:27 They'd scream and hide.

43:27 They'd be like, "Fuck, run.

43:29 Belle is horny." Um, and eventually after much bullying and mounting by Bill,

43:35 all of them rose up against Bill and were like, "Fuck this Bill.

43:38 We're done with you." And they relegated him to the poo corner.

43:41 So like guinea pigs will typically all poo

43:45 in the same corner if they live together.

43:46 And what they did was they just nipped him

43:48 and bit him whenever he left the poo corner.

43:51 So he just had to sit there all day and night and just sleep where they pooped.

43:55 Um, which was horrible for Bill.

43:57 And he looked really sad cuz he's like,

43:58 "But I love you." And they're like, "You'll love us too much, Bill.

44:02 Uh,[ __] off, Bill." And he's like, "Oh." So,

44:05 um, we had to separate him out from them.

44:08 And then he got really lonely and he just

44:09 spent his entire day with his hands with his little

44:12 paws on the on the edge of the of the cage just looking in at them going,

44:15 "But why don't you love me?

44:17 Why can't I be with them?" You know?

44:19 So, um, what happened was I had this friend and she had like a guinea pia, um,

44:26 with lots and lots of boxes with like all of the different guinea

44:29 pigs names on that they could run in between and stuff in her room.

44:32 And she really loved her guinea pigs.

44:34 They were like the center of her world.

44:36 So, I was like, and she was like,

44:38 I think I think they would appreciate having a male cuz they're all females.

44:42 And I was like, I know just the male.

44:44 and he went and lived with them and he lived

44:47 with them happily ever after and everything was absolutely fine.

44:50 Bill lived in heaven for the rest of his life.

45:16 Good ending unlocked.

45:17 Absolutely.

45:19 Yes.

45:47 Oh, why are you doing super chat so much?

45:50 I was about to thank you.

45:51 What are you doing?

45:52 I'M SUPPOSED TO PAY.

45:53 You're a mod.

45:54 This should be less terrible now.

45:57 Oh, did you resize it?

45:58 Okay.

45:58 Are you just fixing things?

45:59 I I will allow it.

46:10 I wish I loved you.

46:12 Rock collection one.

46:13 I already have a sealass collection and a fossil collection.

46:16 So, I don't I think that counts as rocks.

46:18 I don't really think I need to like start a whole new thing.

46:21 Also, I do worry that it would make my house really heavy.

46:24 Like the corner with all my weights in, that's a lot of combined weights.

46:28 Like I have weights ranging from 2 kilos

46:30 to 12.5 kilos and they're all piled in one corner.

46:34 And I'm starting to notice like the floorboards

46:36 in that area creek a little bit extra.

46:38 And I'm like h and it made me really curious like how how heavy can you make

46:46 like if if I wanted a boulder collection

46:49 like how soon would that become a structural problem?

46:56 Magic card collection.

46:57 I have so many unopened Magic cards.

47:00 I'm kind of scared because when I started opening them on stream,

47:02 I was like, "This feels really good." And I was like,

47:04 "Oh,[ __] Am I going to spend my life savings on Magic

47:07 cards and I haven't opened the rest?" Cuz I'm just like,

47:09 once I get into this, this is going to be an obsession of mine.

47:25 Has your weighting collection increased?

47:27 I thought you only had one big dumbbell.

47:29 No, I' i've never had just one big dumbbell.

47:31 I've always had a collection of weights.

47:39 Open once a week to manage and hold off the obsession.

47:42 Maybe that doesn't work.

47:44 It's like you can't just have a little bit of crack.

47:46 Pika, that's never how this works.

47:55 Uh, I wish I could meet you one day soon.

48:01 I'm going to TwitchCon and I have a meet and greet at TwitchCon.

48:05 So come on over.

48:31 I'm going to bother you IRL with Civ 6 and ANO17 at this rate.

48:35 What do you mean?

48:36 How are you going to do that?

48:38 Are you just going to appear at my house?

48:41 Am I just going to come down for breakfast one morning, go into my stream,

48:44 and you're just sat there with Civ 6 open

48:47 just like today you will learn,[ __] It's happening.

48:51 I've waited long enough at the meet and greet.

48:59 Are you just going to wheel a PC up with you?

49:01 Are you just going to bring a whole setup?

49:04 Am I just going to have to turn to everyone in the queue and be like,

49:06 "One minute, please.

49:16 Watch me." You know,

49:19 there are PC setups and everything spotted around in TwitchCon.

49:22 There are so many people playing new games and[ __] So,

49:24 one of the cool things about TwitchCon is

49:26 sometimes you can like play games that aren't

49:28 out yet and get like a little a little taste of a new game before it's released.

49:33 Um, which is pretty exciting.

49:35 There's there's loads of other things like there's a bunch

49:37 of consoles and you know different types of like sometimes phone companies

49:41 will literally have phones at their booth that you can try

49:45 phone games on cuz like a lot of people assume they won't

49:48 enjoy phone games and so like people like oh yeah you

49:52 want to bet and someone will give like a try like ah

49:54 I'm waiting for somebody I'll try this game and the next

49:56 thing you know they've been there this entire weekend just playing playing.

50:00 So yeah like there's there's a lot of that.

50:03 There's also a lot of installations and things to play with.

50:06 I learned how to resuscitate people at TwitchCon that the British

50:10 Heart the British Heart Foundation the British Heart Foundation um had

50:14 an installation where they had like those dummies with the clicky chests

50:17 that you can resuscitate and it was linked up to a game

50:20 you could play with your mates where you could resuscitate

50:22 the sh and if you are doing it on beat it moves

50:25 this thing up and you have to race your friends to like

50:28 resuscitate your um victim as as fast as you possibly can.

50:58 like with Guitar Hero but with no guitar.

51:00 Yeah, I guess in a way.

51:04 Uh something about staying alive.

51:08 Oh yeah.

51:09 If you sing that to you, you'll stay on rhythm.

51:10 So if you go like ah ah staying alive, staying alive.

51:15 Like apparently paramedics, different paramedics have different songs depending

51:19 on their generation that play in their head when

51:22 they resuscitate people because obviously popular songs

51:26 that have the exact right beat change over time.

51:30 There's new ones.

51:39 What does this generation use?

51:40 See bat.

51:41 I feel like that you die because this that isn't a very good rhythm.

51:45 Like it's supposed to be consistent and going

51:52 you're probably going to just kill them harder.

52:13 You can always use the macarina.

52:15 Yeah, the macarina is one.

52:16 I think that's like an older generation one though.

52:18 I think that might that might be if you're an older paramedic.

52:24 Another one bites the dust is a wild one.

52:38 Yeah, I bet there's a song list.

52:59 Isn't staying alive literally on beat?

53:01 I did diss you say that.

53:02 I think staying alive is one, but so is another one bites the dust.

53:06 Sir, the scariest thing about learning CPR,

53:15 it was knowing that in the first few pumps, you will break someone's rib cage.

53:18 That was a freaking dark first lesson.

53:21 Yeah, but I think a lot of people would rather

53:23 be breathing with a broken rib cage than be dead.

53:27 So, the alternative was worse.

53:36 I would rather live with a broken rib cage than die of death.

53:49 Uh-uh.

53:51 Sorry, I'm new here.

53:52 I'm just curious, how long did it take for you to grow such a big following?

53:55 Um, for me, I didn't have a very typical Twitch journey.

53:58 I feel like for most people, you stream a bit and it's a hobby of yours and you

54:02 gain like a few hundred followers maybe in your first year.

54:05 Um, and you you gradually grow and sometimes you'll have spikes

54:09 in viewership and those will get you a few extra like viewers

54:12 and you just grow gradually and like a lot of it is

54:15 just getting yourself seen and out there and collabing with people and stuff.

54:18 But for me, I didn't really collab with anyone when in the first year

54:22 I just went from like my first stream had like 28 viewers or something

54:27 and then I had like a few thousand viewers by the end I think it

54:32 was by the end of the month or maybe the end of the second month.

54:35 It was very very rapid for me,

54:43 but I think that's just because people wanted to see like they were like,

54:47 "Are you allowed to be here and say all that?" Cuz of my Tourette's.

54:50 So, I feel like uh there was a little bit of curiosity in that respect,

54:54 but I expected people to get bored of me by now.

54:56 Genuinely.

54:58 Yeah, I did the speedun.

55:04 Any tips to stop smoking?

55:06 Yeah.

55:06 Um, a lot of people recommend swapping

55:08 your addiction with something else that's like slightly healthier,

55:11 but we saw how that worked out with vaping and vaping actually being pretty

55:15 deadly and lots of people being in the hospital and dying with vapor's lung.

55:19 Um, so I'm just going to lay it out there.

55:22 Uh, maybe don't play swapsies.

55:25 Um, some top tricks for dealing with addiction are um,

55:30 make it difficult to obtain the thing that you are

55:33 trying to give up and make it easier to do

55:35 something else with your time that isn't an an addiction

55:40 that isn't something that you're consuming or anything like that.

55:43 So like if you usually buy a pack of cigarettes on the way to work,

55:46 take a different route to work so that you

55:47 don't pass the place where you buy the[ __] cigarettes.

55:50 If you usually socialize with people who take a break to smoke,

55:54 maybe start spending time with the people

55:55 in your life who don't smoke so that they're

55:58 not all going out and standing outside wafting

56:00 that addictive scent towards you and you're like,

56:03 "Oh." Because, you know, you're going to want to join in.

56:05 You're going to want to hang out with them that way.

56:07 So, it may take whilst you're getting over it as a temporary measure,

56:11 spending time with people that don't tempt you all the time.

56:14 Um, so I feel like it's much much harder to resist temptation

56:18 than it is to just not experience the temptation in the first place.

56:22 So making an uphill battle, like if you're trying to give up sweets,

56:25 but you still buying a few and keeping them in the house,

56:28 then you're going to have to think about them

56:29 all the time and resist eating them all the time.

56:31 But if they're just not there, it makes it a lot easier, right?

56:43 Exactly.

56:47 I didn't know vape lung was a thing.

56:49 Yeah, vaping is pretty deadly.

56:51 So, initially they they marketed it as like

56:53 a healthy alternative to smoking and they promoted it

56:57 as just like water vapor and it's not just

56:59 water vapor and things like propyline glycol in it.

57:03 um they attach to water molecules,

57:05 but they also leave a residue in your lungs that you you can never remove.

57:08 Like it doesn't come out of your lungs after it's in it.

57:11 So, the buildup can be pretty[ __] deadly.

57:13 And there are people actually who give toxin

57:15 who are in hospital either dying or are

57:18 permanently disabled and will permanently have to have

57:21 like tubes in their nose to help them breathe.

57:24 Um and they'll sit there and talk about like this is how I started vaping.

57:29 This is why vaping completely[ __] me up.

57:31 Please do not vape.

57:32 Like, vaping is really bad for you.

57:34 And there are studies that say that it can make you more at risk of infections,

57:38 like more vulnerable to things like COVID,

57:40 but also that it can even interfere with your mental health and, you know,

57:45 in inhibit your brain function.

57:47 So, it's like really, really bad.

57:48 And the worst part is that loads of kids are vaping

57:51 and they're going to be so[ __] by the time they're like 25.

58:27 We need to make the cheese cool again.

58:29 I'm not sure that we do.

58:31 I I I'm not I don't think I'm quite aligned with this.

58:35 I mean, I like cheese and I I I eat vegan cheese and I like my cheese.

58:40 I like it melted on stuff.

58:41 But I do think that maybe cheese is probably not a very good

58:45 food group and that it's kind of weird that we eat it because

58:49 most of the world is dairy intolerant and most animals in general are

58:54 weaned and become intolerant to lactose and can't digest it when they're older.

58:59 And that's by design.

59:00 We're not supposed to be like we're

59:03 not supposed to be breastfeeding into adulthood.

59:05 That is weird.

59:06 It's even weirder to be breastfeeding from another species.

59:30 But cheese, I mean, like I said, I I kind of feel like I eat cheese in a way.

59:34 So, like, I get it.

59:36 But at the same time, because most cheese is made from cows milk,

59:40 I kind of feel like maybe we shouldn't make cheese cool.

59:43 Maybe we should give cheese a break.

59:51 Cheese is awesome, but god does it ruin my insides.

59:53 That's the thing.

59:54 Like, I'm looking forward to the day.

59:55 Like I'm fine with us making cheese cool when we can start

59:59 like you know in Star Trek they have like that random glory

1:00:02 hole in the corner of every room and you could just be

1:00:04 like computer Earl Gray tea hot and it'll just like manifest it.

1:00:09 It'll just go and just make the teacup

1:00:12 and the tea and the plate and you go thank you

1:00:15 and you drink it and you put it back

1:00:16 in and it dematerializes it ready to make it into something else.

1:00:19 A replicator.

1:00:20 Exactly.

1:00:20 I always forget that name.

1:00:23 So, like it has replicator has such a better

1:00:27 ring to it than bloody corner glory hole.

1:00:30 Mystical glory hole.

1:00:31 But here we are.

1:00:32 Thank you so much.

1:00:33 I appreciate it.

1:00:34 Steel.

1:00:35 Thanks for the prime.

1:00:36 Um, well, the thing I'm getting at is

1:00:38 like when we can materialize any kinds of foods.

1:00:40 I look forward to the day where you can make like, I don't know,

1:00:43 an ice cream sundae or whatever,

1:00:44 but it be healthy and taste exactly the same and just manifests immediately.

1:00:50 You never have to cook it from scratch.

1:00:51 You never have to go buy the ingredients.

1:00:53 You can just walk to the corner hole and say, "Corner hole,

1:00:56 give me a healthy sundae." And it will give you a healthy ice cream sundae.

1:01:00 And you can just gorge on it.

1:01:32 I have an advice question.

1:01:34 Oh, it's not an advice question.

1:01:35 I would like to hear your thoughts on clvicular figure.

1:01:38 I have younger brothers and I fear they will

1:01:40 fall for this look maxing[ __] if it sticks around.

1:01:42 I haven't really seen much about clvicular.

1:01:44 Isn't that like a content creator?

1:01:46 But anyway, uh I know about looks maxing and it's really really funny

1:01:49 that they had to make it masculine so that men would go along with it,

1:01:55 but everything that's toxic about looks maxing is just toxic

1:01:58 about the beauty stand like the beauty industry as a whole.

1:02:02 And like men modifying their bodies

1:02:04 and you know decorating themselves and sharing

1:02:08 tips and advice on how to improve their appearance doesn't have to be toxic.

1:02:12 It can just be them enjoying their bodies

1:02:16 as a work of art and crafting them into something beautiful.

1:02:18 But what's the problem is is that the incel community has

1:02:21 started overlapping with the beauty community to make max it looks maxing.

1:02:25 So it's not just like beauty for men cuz that would just be beauty, right?

1:02:29 It's it's intertwined with all this like alpha male[

1:02:32 __] and trying to look like a alpha male.

1:02:36 And um a lot of it has like racist overtones

1:02:41 and sexist overtones and is based around dominating women and not actually

1:02:46 feeling good about yourself or tailoring your body to suit your personality

1:02:50 more because I don't think those necessarily have to be unhealthy.

1:02:56 But with the beauty industry, it's always going to have an unhealthy corner.

1:03:00 Like we've had like the pro- Anna communities that have

1:03:03 been pres like where people will get together to try

1:03:06 and help each other get skinnier and skinnier and they

1:03:09 will like romanticize your rib cage showing and your bones

1:03:12 and stuff and they will show each other how

1:03:14 to avoid food and things to the point where they're

1:03:16 hospitalized and like that's a really toxic end of like

1:03:20 the body modification and beauty kind of like community.

1:03:23 But not everything about beauty is bad.

1:03:26 Like some of it is just people exchanging tips

1:03:29 on how to wear clothes and make them look

1:03:30 better on you and suit your figure and things

1:03:32 like this so you feel more confident about yourself.

1:03:35 Like someone will come in and go, "Ah,

1:03:36 I don't like the way that my love handles look in this dress.

1:03:39 What can I do?" And other people will be like, "Oh,

1:03:41 you can do XYZ about that." And they're like, "I love this dress now.

1:03:44 Thank you." And that's like a healthy version.

1:03:46 And you can have that for men.

1:03:48 It's just really funny because like the reason why looks

1:03:50 maxing is even a thing to be quite honest with you

1:03:53 is because like men are really really scared to be

1:03:57 associated with anything feminine but they still want to look good.

1:04:01 So the only way that they could actually delve into beauty

1:04:05 and still hold on to this idea that women are inferior

1:04:07 is by inventing looks maxing and going no this is something

1:04:10 separate this is something better than what women do and it's not.

1:04:14 It's exactly the same thing.

1:04:37 Those men are kind of weird.

1:04:38 Yeah.

1:04:38 And the hard the hard truth of it

1:04:40 all is that it's incredibly gay, which is fine.

1:04:44 I'm fine with men being gay.

1:04:46 Um quite a fan.

1:04:47 But like the problem is that a lot of these men are trying to be hyper

1:04:51 masculine and hyper super straight and they're going

1:04:54 full circle and just ending up being incredibly gay.

1:04:56 Because a lot of the beauty standard that they're trying

1:04:58 to aim for is what gay men are attracted to.

1:05:01 Look at any gay erotic art and you will

1:05:03 see the body types that these men are aiming for.

1:05:06 The facial structures that these men are aiming for and getting surgery for.

1:05:10 Everything about looks maxing is to look like a gay icon.

1:05:13 Is to look like a gay male porn star.

1:05:16 A lot of the kinds of men that women are attracted to and full

1:05:19 heads over heels for generally don't look like the looks maxing categories aims.

1:05:25 Right?

1:05:26 So, a lot of these guys are going to look incredibly hot

1:05:30 to each other and wonder why they're still single, which is fine.

1:05:34 I quite enjoy the show.

1:05:39 But it's also like a lot of incelss uh turn their anger outward at the world

1:05:45 and they lash out and there's like school shootings and stabbings and all sorts,

1:05:48 you know, against women.

1:05:49 There was very recently a video circulating of a young man who asked

1:05:53 for a girl's number and she said no and tried to walk away from him.

1:05:56 So he picked her up,

1:05:57 slammed her on the ground and then stomped on her head and she was

1:06:00 in hospital and she's getting rehabilitation now

1:06:02 for that because she got brain damage from it.

1:06:04 So um yeah, like the incel community and this like

1:06:08 vengeful angry turn my anger outward at the world,

1:06:10 how dare you not[ __] me kind of be behavior.

1:06:13 Some men are turning it inward and they're turning it

1:06:16 into like a quite a masochistic behavior and they're going,

1:06:18 "If I was beautiful enough, you'd love me.

1:06:20 So, I'm going to inject my face.

1:06:22 I'm going to, you know, cut tendons.

1:06:24 I'm going to um, you know,

1:06:27 starve myself really punishingly do all this[ __] do this 38st step

1:06:31 beauty routine so that women will like me." And it's like self torture.

1:06:35 They will take it to such an extreme trying to be beautiful,

1:06:38 trying to be desirable that they're basically torturing themselves

1:06:42 and they're turning their out on themselves that they're so lonely.

1:06:48 There was actually a look maxer who cut his own

1:06:51 face like he he wanted to create a a certain

1:06:54 facial structure and he learned about the surgery and he

1:06:56 just tried to do it to himself raw without any anesthetic.

1:07:00 Um and he just completely disfigured himself.

1:07:05 I think he videoed it as well.

1:07:06 I think the video of him doing it to himself circulated.

1:07:09 So like looks maxing is like an extreme version of beauty for men

1:07:14 who cannot bear the idea of just beauty like just getting beauty tips.

1:07:20 It has to be masculine.

1:07:21 It has to be alpha male.

1:07:23 And it really does remind me of what's the name

1:07:26 of that guy in American Psycho and his like

1:07:29 really long beauty routine and him doing all

1:07:31 those situps in the morning at like 4:00 a.m.

1:07:33 and[ __] It really does.

1:07:35 Yeah, it's very Patrick B Patrick Baitman.

1:07:37 And the thing with Patrick Baitman is he is a joke.

1:07:41 The whole movie is to make fun of men like him and culture

1:07:44 like that and how destructive and ultimately pathetic it is because it turns

1:07:48 out that all of that film is just a fantasy in his head

1:07:51 and he isn't even hurting any

1:07:52 of these women that he's fantasizing about hurting.

1:07:54 He just wishes he could hurt these women because he hates his life.

1:07:57 Right.

1:07:59 Yeah.

1:08:00 So it's Patrick Baitman was like a satirical character, a ridiculous joke.

1:08:06 And there are some people who are literally

1:08:07 using his behavior as an inspiration for looks maxing,

1:08:13 which is funny because the actor probably didn't live

1:08:15 like the character to look the way that he did,

1:08:18 but they're still interpreting it as a[ __] documentary.

1:08:22 Like the actor probably wasn't doing a 36step beauty routine and all

1:08:28 of the[ __] that whole ritual in the morning to be quite honest with you.

1:08:32 Yeah, he was a joke character.

1:08:34 And so it's always funny because I've grown up my whole

1:08:36 life seeing people try to aspire for that and being like,

1:08:40 you know, he's a joke, right?

1:08:42 You know he's a joke, right?

1:08:48 The actor himself told those guys to get life.

1:08:51 I know.

1:08:52 It's so funny.

1:08:53 It's beautiful.

1:09:02 How do I shut off the desperation with people I want

1:09:05 to meet or want to know and stop romanticizing about being with them,

1:09:09 cultural differences included, making them intriguing?

1:09:16 So, it sounds like you could So, I don't know whether this is romantic

1:09:20 or if you're fantasizing about befriending people,

1:09:23 but if it's romantic, you need to Google lirance.

1:09:27 So lirance is not like love.

1:09:29 Limrance is a form of obsession with people and you

1:09:33 make these unrealistic fantasies about being connected with these people.

1:09:37 Um and it's usually a psychological phenomenon

1:09:40 and it comes from a certain place.

1:09:42 It comes from a certain need.

1:09:43 And if you heal the underlying foundation for the lirance,

1:09:47 then it doesn't have to eat your life

1:09:49 and you don't have to obsess over other people anymore.

1:09:51 And like with lirance, it can get so enveloping.

1:09:55 It can eat your whole life with lirance.

1:09:58 Um, and what you're describing really does sound like lirance.

1:10:03 So, I would start there and do some research into like what is lirance,

1:10:07 how does lirance feel, how do you manage lirance,

1:10:10 all these sorts of things because those sorts

1:10:12 of thoughts and feelings can turn you into a stalker.

1:10:14 You become a stalker when those thoughts

1:10:15 and feelings make you do unwanted behaviors

1:10:17 towards people that aren't healthy for you

1:10:20 and are very unwelcome to the recipient, right?

1:10:23 And so like it can be dangerous to feel that way.

1:10:25 And I think it comes from like a really normal place as well.

1:10:28 Like it doesn't have to get deranged and it

1:10:30 doesn't have to get like dangerous or anything.

1:10:32 It can come from just this casual feeling

1:10:34 of like when you don't have a lot of friends,

1:10:36 when you don't know a lot of people in the area and you start

1:10:39 seeing other people hang out and have fun and laugh and stuff and you're like,

1:10:42 I want to be a part of that.

1:10:43 I feel left out.

1:10:44 And you might just be walking in the street and see like a friend group hanging

1:10:47 out in the middle of town or whatever and you're like, I wish I had that.

1:10:50 I wish I could just come over and speak to them

1:10:51 and they would include me because I want a friend group like that.

1:10:54 I want to go have drinks with people.

1:10:56 I want to go have fun.

1:10:57 I want to have hen parties and things like this.

1:10:59 And I don't think that's a bad thing about anyone.

1:11:02 I think that's like a really normal phase of existence,

1:11:05 especially when you're adult because you're going

1:11:06 to move or you're going to change jobs,

1:11:08 you're going to change environments a few times

1:11:09 and it's going to reduce your friend group.

1:11:12 You're going to get lonely sometimes.

1:11:14 You're going to have times where you face it where you're like,

1:11:15 "How the[ __] do I make friends?

1:11:17 This is really hard.

1:11:18 I'm a grown-up now.

1:11:19 You can't just walk up to people and with your juice box and go,

1:11:22 "Hi, I am called Katy and I have no friends.

1:11:26 Would you like to be my best friend?" Like,

1:11:29 you could that[ __] would fly in primary school.

1:11:32 It makes you look thoroughly[ __] weird and desperate now.

1:11:34 So, that that just doesn't work, right?

1:11:38 So my next the next bit of advice is like if

1:11:42 you want friends um and you don't know how to make friends,

1:11:46 it's going to make things like it's going to make you

1:11:48 feel things like lirance or be more at risk of lirance.

1:11:51 So like top tips for making real friendships

1:11:55 so you don't have to fantasize about being close

1:11:57 to random people is go and do the[ __] you love in a group in a group setting.

1:12:03 So examples of this, if you like painting Warhammer models,

1:12:08 there are places like Games Workshop and stuff.

1:12:10 I think it's that where you can go

1:12:12 and paint Warhammer models with other people and you

1:12:15 can sit at tables together and paint and you

1:12:18 can play the game in real life with others.

1:12:20 If that's too much for you right now,

1:12:22 you can try starting online and slowly shifting

1:12:25 into IRL with the skills you gained online.

1:12:28 And an example of this might be like

1:12:29 play a game like Overwatch where you're thrown

1:12:31 into a group of people and you can speak to all of them and you can make jokes,

1:12:35 make them laugh, start a conversation, maybe they'll add you.

1:12:38 If you've succeeded, if you gain some social skills,

1:12:40 people will start adding you and from there you can play again

1:12:43 and you can get to know them and you can invite them next time.

1:12:46 You're like, "I'm playing.

1:12:47 Do you want to play again?

1:12:48 I see you're online." And then maybe you have another conversation

1:12:51 with them and another and another and you'll learn how to entertain people.

1:12:54 You'll learn how to be entertained, how to not start arguments with people

1:12:58 and hyperfixate on your differences and[ __] like this.

1:13:01 And once you've managed all of that stuff and you've learned the basics,

1:13:03 you can turn that into a conversation IRL.

1:13:06 You can turn that into connections IRL.

1:13:08 And maybe you can take a hobby out into the world.

1:13:11 Maybe you like rescuing animals.

1:13:13 Maybe you like gaming.

1:13:14 Maybe you like walking.

1:13:16 There's just a way.

1:13:17 It doesn't matter what it is that you do that you love doing at home.

1:13:20 There is a way to make that a communal activity.

1:13:24 in your area.

1:13:25 And so, like, that was a progression that I experienced.

1:13:28 And I went from having no friends and going, "No one's like me.

1:13:30 I don't know how to be like making friends as an adult is hard.

1:13:33 I'm so isolated.

1:13:34 What the[ __] do I do?" I went from that to having loads and loads of friends.

1:13:37 I have a really busy social life.

1:13:39 I'm flourishing.

1:13:41 I had to learn all of this from my late 20s onwards.

1:13:43 I was really isolated as a kid and a teen.

1:13:45 Did not learn all the basic human skills very early.

1:13:48 So, I can tell you, even if you're socially inept now,

1:13:51 you don't have to be forever.

1:13:52 It's never too late to learn to make friends and to make real connections.

1:14:04 And I mean, it's not a crime to be lonely.

1:14:06 Press one if you've ever been lonely in your life.

1:14:09 Like, I'm sure so many people in this chat,

1:14:11 I'm pretty sure most of the human beings I've ever met have had a period

1:14:14 where they just didn't have enough people

1:14:16 in their life and they felt very alone.

1:14:23 Yeah, exactly.

1:14:24 There you go.

1:14:24 Thank you, chat.

1:14:27 And so, like, you might feel some things.

1:14:29 You might have some embarrassing fantasies about rescuing the cute girl

1:14:32 at the shop from like some annoying guy in your head.

1:14:36 You might have fantasies about being a hero or being needed or having friends.

1:14:40 You might like roleplay in your head like but having

1:14:42 actual real connections and things like this and cringe at yourself

1:14:45 for being so desperate because you're like why am I

1:14:48 fantasizing about random people like they don't know me they don't

1:14:52 care about me and I feel like that's a common

1:14:55 stage of loneliness when people like start really just wanting someone

1:14:59 to acknowledge them to hang out with them to wonder

1:15:02 about their day to talk to I know this isn't IRL,

1:15:19 but I felt less lonely talking to people on your Discord.

1:15:21 Yeah, my Discord's pretty great.

1:15:22 I feel like we've made a really awesome um environment,

1:15:25 and so many people sit in the VCs.

1:15:27 You don't have to be in a VC.

1:15:28 There's loads of text channels where people just hop in and go,

1:15:30 I made a cake today.

1:15:32 People like, oh, what a great cake.

1:15:33 and then they just make a conversation in in general chat all the time.

1:15:36 Um, but like there are also people who just

1:15:38 get drunk and play computer games with each other

1:15:40 on a on a Friday night and they all have

1:15:42 fun together and stuff and like there's always people gaming.

1:15:46 Like sometimes I'll look at the[ __] how long the VC has

1:15:48 been open and people have been hanging out in there for 20 hours.

1:15:52 20 hours.

1:16:03 Have you ever did IRL?

1:16:05 What do you mean?

1:16:06 Of course.

1:16:07 Don't act like that's not normal.

1:16:08 Yes, I have seen daylight.

1:16:10 Yes, I have.

1:16:10 I have seen humans in real life before.

1:16:13 That is a thing I've done many times.

1:16:15 Um[ __] y'all have seen people IRL before.

1:16:32 Yeah, people in my Discord have met each other IRL.

1:16:37 They have.

1:16:38 Some of them have even gotten engaged to each other, believe it or not.

1:17:03 Is that safe?

1:17:04 Well, I feel like um a lot of the people in my Discord are not[ __] stupid.

1:17:08 So, like a lot of them if they do meet up with each other,

1:17:11 they do it in safe settings and they get to know each other quite

1:17:14 well uh both online and IRL before

1:17:16 they're ever together in like an isolated space.

1:17:20 So, like a lot of people from my Discord

1:17:22 will meet each other for the first time at TwitchCon.

1:17:24 And it's like it's not like something weird's going to happen

1:17:26 to you in a massive convention with loads of security

1:17:29 where you have to get felt up for a knife

1:17:31 and you can't bring guns or weaponry in there and and everything.

1:17:34 It's like a pretty safe place to meet people

1:17:36 you've been friends with online for the first time.

1:17:39 And so like people meet each other in places like that.

1:17:41 So it's hard to get catfished or abducted and stuff like that.

1:17:45 But also a lot of these people have been friends

1:17:47 with each other for years and years as well on Discord.

1:17:51 been gaming together,

1:17:52 saying hello to each other every morning and all the all sorts in my Discord.

1:17:56 So like it's not like you know you've been talking to someone

1:17:58 for a month and they like whisk you away and go

1:18:01 come and meet me in this remote location and then you

1:18:03 end up being in someone's basement for the rest of your life.

1:18:05 Like it's not like that.

1:18:21 I mean, even if some of them were potential serial killers who

1:18:24 are going to[ __] you up if they ever meet you in person,

1:18:26 you just don't have to meet them in person.

1:18:28 Like as a lot of people who secretly want

1:18:31 to lull you into a full sense of security are really

1:18:34 nice if you never actually have to meet them cuz

1:18:37 then you just stay in the lulling s like stage.

1:18:47 I was like, "Wow, you're a really great gamer.

1:18:49 This is really fun." And they're like, "Great.

1:18:51 Would you like me to come to your house?" And you're like, "Oh, no,

1:18:53 but I'd like another game." And they're like, "Okay,

1:18:57 your dress is really nice." And you're like, "Thank you.

1:18:59 Would you like to come to my house?" And you're like,

1:19:01 "No." And they're like, "Oh, well, it is a very nice dress." You know,

1:19:06 so if you're worried about being murdered by someone on the internet,

1:19:09 just don't meet them off the internet.

1:19:28 I'm going to be real.

1:19:29 I would get kidnapped for loaded fries.

1:19:33 I wouldn't advertise that.

1:19:34 Nova, this isn't I don't think that's the I mean,

1:19:39 unless you want to be kidnapped, then this is very efficient way to do that.

1:19:42 Yes, announce that to a lot a bunch of Twitch chatters.

1:19:45 That that would be a very quick way to speedrun getting kidnapped.

1:19:51 But you're setting the bar so low.

1:19:55 Like there are men who'll pay one grand for a jar of your farts.

1:19:59 Like raise your prices.

1:20:02 If you're going to get you want to get kidnapped once.

1:20:16 True to be honest.

1:20:17 Yeah.

1:20:17 And you can make your own loaded fries.

1:20:19 So, at least charge something that you're

1:20:20 very bad at making for yourself, you know,

1:20:26 or at least ask for something that you can continue to enjoy in the basement,

1:20:33 like a fidget spinner that lasts way longer than loaded fries.

1:20:43 Okay, you convince me.

1:20:44 I'll sell pics or something.

1:20:45 Good for you, Nova.

1:20:46 Nova.

1:21:03 Loaded with what though?

1:21:04 Uh, freaks.

1:21:05 Uh, of course you're called freaks.

1:21:08 Um, WHY DID WE WHY?

1:21:10 THAT IS THE MOST TWITCH CHAT QUESTION I've ever[ __] seen.

1:21:23 Thanks so Lord Custard.

1:21:24 I appreciate that.

1:21:26 I'm glad you enjoyed it.

1:21:28 Bacon bits.

1:21:29 Obviously, I recently found out that bacon bits are vegan.

1:21:33 Never never that was a curveball.

1:21:36 Go Google what bacon bits are made out of.

1:21:43 Yeah.

1:21:44 A lot of vegans are sprinkling bacon bits on their[ __] salad.

1:21:51 They're not even intended to be vegan.

1:21:53 Bacon bits are just a lie.

1:21:55 You thought you were getting pig ass.

1:21:56 Nope.

1:21:57 You were getting plants.

1:21:58 You got bamboozled.

1:21:59 You got bamboozled.

1:22:14 It depends on what you get.

1:22:16 Most bacon bits in stores are just seasoned wheat.

1:22:19 You have to buy the ones that say they are actually bacon.

1:22:22 Exactly.

1:22:22 And most people see the word bacon bits and they just

1:22:26 assume that it's made of bacon quite reasonably, I will add.

1:22:29 And that's weird to me because because it's not a vegan product,

1:22:33 because it's just an accidentally vegan product.

1:22:35 Because it's just like some big company screwing you and deceiving you.

1:22:39 They haven't been sued for using the word bacon,

1:22:42 but a lot of companies, meat and dairy companies,

1:22:45 sue vegan companies for calling their food

1:22:48 things like cheese or yogurt or mayonnaise, like Helman's, I believe it was.

1:22:52 I think it was Helman's.

1:22:53 Um, they they sued another company for making

1:22:57 a mayonnaise product that didn't have egg in.

1:23:00 And they wanted to limit the use

1:23:02 of the term mayonnaise to only things with egg in.

1:23:04 The lawsuit didn't fly.

1:23:05 They didn't manage to attack and destroy this company

1:23:08 and make them have to rebrand and stuff.

1:23:10 So, they just ended up bringing out

1:23:11 their own vegan mayonnaise line when they didn't win.

1:23:18 So, it was all about attacking their competitor.

1:23:20 It wasn't really about maintaining the definition at all.

1:23:28 Exactly.

1:23:29 So, like it's so funny, but when it's just capitalism's doing it to screw you,

1:23:33 when it's just a big old company trying to screw

1:23:35 you into buying what you would think is bacon bits,

1:23:38 everyone just leaves them to it and goes, "You know what?

1:23:40 Fair play.

1:23:41 I'll allow it." But the minute it's just

1:23:43 because like a company is meat-ree and vegan,

1:23:45 they're like, "So, like I see that a lot.

1:23:48 Like you'll see in um like vegan restaurants and stuff,

1:23:52 they'll put chicken bits and instead of an I,

1:23:54 it'll just have like a little star as if

1:23:56 like chicken is a slur." And it's because like they

1:23:59 might get sued if they they put chicken

1:24:01 in their in their menu when you're not really eating chicken.

1:24:05 You're just eating a chicken like substance a chalk.

1:24:27 I don't know if that'll fly.

1:24:28 You can try it, though.

1:24:29 I don't know if I'd buy a chalken.

1:24:53 Have you had bad experiences with fans IRL?

1:24:55 Yeah, I've had good ones and bad ones.

1:25:16 Have you had good experiences with wild animals?

1:25:19 Yeah, good ones and bad ones, I'd say.

1:25:23 Like a few wild animals have nearly killed me.

1:25:25 A few wild animals have been really awesome and I'll just be like,

1:25:27 "Wow, I'm a Disney princess now.

1:25:29 Everyone loves me and this is amazing." You know,

1:25:34 you never know which one you're going to get.

1:25:35 Especially in some countries.

1:25:36 In some countries it's like you could get a bird, you could get a bear.

1:25:39 And a bear will eat you to death in the worst possible way imaginable.

1:25:43 There was a documentary about a guy who like liked

1:25:46 hanging around with bears and he like made documentaries about himself

1:25:50 hanging out with bears and just being close to bears

1:25:52 and he felt like he had the spiritual connection to the bears.

1:25:54 And his girlfriend was like, "I don't want to hang out with the bears.

1:25:56 The bears kind of scare me." Um, but he was like, "No, no, it'll be fine.

1:26:00 Just come out one last time with me.

1:26:02 Just come out camping with me one last time." And she's like,

1:26:04 "I think you need to stop with the bears,

1:26:06 but I will do this trip with you one last

1:26:08 time to hang out with the bears." and for some

1:26:10 reason he took them both out during like hungry

1:26:13 bear season and the bears ate them to death.

1:26:16 Um, and they turned on the camera because they were

1:26:19 going to like they filmed their interactions with the bears,

1:26:22 but like they didn't get time to take

1:26:24 the lens cap off before they started being eaten alive.

1:26:28 And so the guy accidentally records his own death and it's horrific.

1:26:34 And um bears will eat you and eat you and not kill you.

1:26:40 They will just eat you to death and they will start

1:26:42 in areas of your body where it takes a very long time.

1:26:45 Um so there was a documentary maker who went to that guy's

1:26:50 family and they still have the recording of him dying

1:26:53 but they haven't watched it and he listens to it cuz

1:26:56 it's just audio and he's like you can never listen to this.

1:26:58 And she starts crying and she's like I know I know.

1:27:01 and he was like, "You should destroy this because no one should ever hear this.

1:27:05 No one should ever have to hear what happened." Um,

1:27:08 obviously I don't think that the lady

1:27:10 I don't think his girlfriend died on camera.

1:27:12 I don't think that you hear her die, but you hear her trying to save him.

1:27:18 Um, and so yeah, bears can be pretty immensely horrible.

1:27:21 There was also a lady,

1:27:22 a young lady who was fishing with her dad and bears attacked them,

1:27:26 killed the dad and started eating her alive.

1:27:28 and she called emergency services and then she called her mom and she was being

1:27:34 eaten alive whilst she was calling her mom and she was like the bears are eating

1:27:38 me you need to send someone to help and then it cuts out and then she

1:27:40 rings her mom again and she's like I I can't feel it anymore they are eating

1:27:44 me I am going to die and I love you but I'm still dying you know

1:27:49 and then it cuts out and they didn't find her body for a very long time

1:27:52 she'd been very very eaten by the time

1:27:53 they found her so bears are pretty intense

1:27:56 and I can understand why we had bears bears in the UK and that, you know,

1:28:00 humans made them extinct.

1:28:01 And it's funny to say all of those stories and say,

1:28:03 but I still kind of wish that bears still existed in the UK.

1:28:06 I think that it's possible to be a smart human being and to exist

1:28:10 in nature and to exist without being eaten to death by bears,

1:28:14 even if you live around bears.

1:28:16 And I know this because there are plenty of countries, there's plenty of places,

1:28:18 like in America and Russia, for example, where people do that.

1:28:21 They live alongside bears, don't get eaten by the bears.

1:28:24 Um, and I kind of feel like I wish that our our environment was whole again.

1:28:29 I wish we had wolves and I wish we had bears.

1:28:31 They are pretty intense animals and they deserve a lot of respect.

1:28:50 Respect them from a large distance away.

1:28:52 I agree.

1:28:53 Um, that said though, can you see the scratches on my face?

1:28:56 I don't know if they're showing through my makeup.

1:28:58 Can you see that?

1:29:03 Oh, I can.

1:29:05 Yeah, I I was running Pete and he scrabbled a little bit and I was

1:29:09 and I didn't want him to fall on the ground from when I was standing,

1:29:12 but he got really excited about running in the garden,

1:29:14 so he started scrambling and he kicked me in the face.

1:29:18 Any advice for helping a suicidal brother recently divorced,

1:29:23 recently unemployed, recently severely ill,

1:29:25 having a difficult time encouraging him?

1:29:28 I will say um I have been suicidal.

1:29:34 I have had horrible horrible um like being I I was unemployable.

1:29:41 I have gone through a horrendous breakup.

1:29:44 I was dealing with um Tourette's and it was[

1:29:47 __] my life and I am also perpetually severely ill.

1:29:51 So I can very much relate to your brother.

1:29:54 Um and I have a lot of practical advice.

1:29:56 The main one is if you're going to die anyway, don't rush it.

1:29:59 Don't commit suicide.

1:30:00 It doesn't stop you suffering.

1:30:01 It just means that suffering is all you got to do.

1:30:04 Every time you have a good moment in life,

1:30:07 um you forget about all the hard[ __] you went through.

1:30:09 And life is just going to be full of good and bad.

1:30:12 Not every job's going to last forever.

1:30:13 Not every relationship is going to last forever.

1:30:16 This is normal.

1:30:17 Most of the things you will ever love about life, you will have to lose one day.

1:30:21 That is absolutely normal.

1:30:22 Everyone goes through it.

1:30:24 And it hurts.

1:30:25 I'm not going to diminish how much it[ __] hurts.

1:30:27 It It's okay that it hurts though.

1:30:29 It is normal for those things to be painful

1:30:32 to lose cuz if they're worth if they're worth having,

1:30:35 it sucks to lose them, right?

1:30:37 So, I think it's okay.

1:30:38 He's allowed to be depressed.

1:30:39 He's allowed to wonder if he even wants to live anymore.

1:30:42 He's allowed to have those feelings.

1:30:44 Those feelings are valid.

1:30:45 Life is hard, right?

1:30:48 The thing I will say is that it is

1:30:50 just worth toughing out the stuff that is awful,

1:30:53 the stuff that you just never want to experience.

1:30:55 It's worth toughing those things out.

1:30:57 It doesn't make you worthless to lose those things.

1:30:59 It just clears the state slate for new things and you can build those.

1:31:05 And the next thing is like if your brother's really really

1:31:09 struggling and you're genuinely worried that he might do something silly,

1:31:12 ask him to write your phone number on a piece of paper or on a card

1:31:18 piece of card that fits in his wallet and then wrap a note around that card.

1:31:23 Like wrap a£10 note, 20 pound note, enough money, whatever it is,

1:31:28 or a small be or a drink at a local restaurant somewhere like that.

1:31:33 And if he tends to get really miserable in the small hours of the morning,

1:31:36 pick a 24-hour place, right?

1:31:39 And just go, if you're ever feeling suicidal,

1:31:42 I have made a pact where you can ring me and I will come and hang out with you

1:31:46 in this public place where you can't do anything

1:31:48 silly to yourself because you're in a public place.

1:31:50 Like, how are you going to die in a restaurant, right?

1:31:52 So, you go there if you're feeling terrible and we can talk

1:31:55 it out until the feeling passes because the feeling is always temporary.

1:31:59 It comes in waves.

1:32:00 And we know this.

1:32:01 There's a science behind it, but we know this for a few reasons.

1:32:04 One is that anecdotally, a lot of people who have survived suicide attempts

1:32:08 tend to say that seconds before they impact the ground,

1:32:11 if they jump or whatever, they tend to regret their decision.

1:32:15 So, it usually is super temporary.

1:32:17 Also, there are suicide places around the world and like

1:32:20 there places like bridges um which have a high rate suicide.

1:32:23 And the reason why is because suicide is an impulsive thought.

1:32:26 It usually comes in a really big wave and then dies down again.

1:32:30 And so when people are are are opportunistic,

1:32:32 a lot of people impulsively go to a bridge

1:32:34 or impulsively go to like a train tracks or whatever.

1:32:38 And if they just tucked out the feeling,

1:32:39 they wouldn't have wanted to do it like in an hour or two's time.

1:32:43 And so like we know this, the scientific basis,

1:32:46 but I would bore you with it, right?

1:32:47 A lot of people can attest to this that it's

1:32:49 opportunistic and very temporary spikes of despair.

1:32:52 So, if you can be there for them during those temporary spikes of despair,

1:32:57 you can usually carry them and help them get through

1:33:00 those moments until they build a life worth living again.

1:33:03 Because we're going to we're adults.

1:33:05 We go through chapters in life.

1:33:06 A lot of the worlds and lives and connections we build are chapters.

1:33:10 They pass.

1:33:11 And there is a painful in between period.

1:33:13 We all of us will go through this no matter what.

1:33:16 Since the beginning of time, all humans have had to face this.

1:33:20 Um, so like if I think one of the ways that you

1:33:23 can beef that in a very practical way is to literally give him

1:33:27 one of these cards and say like I'm on call I am here

1:33:30 for you in those moments and like tell him find a few people

1:33:34 in case like I'm asleep or my phone's on silent or in case

1:33:36 like somebody's at work have like three or four of us we'll all

1:33:40 like have a chat and be like would you like to be one

1:33:42 of these names so that I have someone to help me survive those moments.

1:33:46 That is a real practical thing you can do right now for your brother.

1:33:50 It isn't wishy-washy.

1:33:52 It isn't just a concept or reassurance.

1:33:54 It's not a don't worry, it'll pass.

1:33:56 It's a you have people.

1:33:58 You have a means to survive this.

1:34:14 Aren't there people who've been planning it for a while?

1:34:16 Absolutely.

1:34:17 And most of the people who plan it for a while never do it because like I said,

1:34:21 you go through spikes.

1:34:23 It's not like one constant high pitch of I need to die.

1:34:26 I need to die right now.

1:34:27 This is unbearable.

1:34:28 I need to die.

1:34:29 Usually it is, well, this sucks.

1:34:31 I hate this.

1:34:32 Oh my god, I don't know if I can face tomorrow.

1:34:34 And then they go to bed.

1:34:36 They wake up and they face tomorrow and they're like, you know what?

1:34:38 This isn't so bad, but it still really sucks and I hate this.

1:34:40 I hate this.

1:34:40 I hate this.

1:34:41 And then it goes up again.

1:34:42 And then it like that is usually it.

1:34:43 Even if they plan it, even if it's like even if they're thinking

1:34:46 about it and considering it for a while, most people who consider it fantasize,

1:34:50 they have suicidal ideiation that is separate to being suicidal.

1:34:53 Most human beings will suffer with suicidal

1:34:56 ideiation at some point in their life, but aren't actually a risk to themselves.

1:35:01 It's incredibly rare rare that people who've

1:35:03 been planning it for ages actually do it.

1:35:06 Usually, people who've been planning to do it

1:35:08 actually do it have a moment of impulse.

1:35:11 The plan was there, but they never intended to do it.

1:35:13 And then one day they had a moment of impulse and those impulses pass.

1:35:16 So one of the beautiful things is if you have social connection

1:35:19 you can utilize them as a lifeline to get you through those moments.

1:36:08 Life is a series of waves, good and bad.

1:36:10 Yeah.

1:36:11 Everything is temporary, especially suffering.

1:36:14 And the thing is as well like you got to remember so

1:36:18 the World War II was like a really prominent thing in the UK.

1:36:21 Like the UK it hit the UK a lot.

1:36:24 So we have a lot of World War history, right?

1:36:26 And one of the things is a lot of men,

1:36:29 millions of men went to war and never came home.

1:36:32 And there were women who started their lives with these men or got

1:36:36 pregnant by these men and then these men just disappeared and they had nobody,

1:36:39 no support structure, nothing.

1:36:40 The love of their life is just gone.

1:36:42 They'll never even know how they died.

1:36:44 they'll never know what happened to them and they just have to continue, right?

1:36:48 And that was incredibly depressing and hard and a lot

1:36:50 of these women were being forced into the workforce as well.

1:36:54 So, they were being pushed to work at a time

1:36:56 where they were terrified that their loved ones won't come home,

1:36:58 their sons, their brothers, their partners.

1:37:00 And then um quite often they'd be unemployed after because

1:37:04 when the men came home from you know the war,

1:37:08 the women they were like, "Okay, no more hobbies, no more sports, no more work.

1:37:12 get back in the kitchen and they forced these women

1:37:15 back into subjugation and took all their opportunities away.

1:37:18 So they gained a sense of purpose and independence for a brief time,

1:37:21 had it taken away and quite often a bunch of their[ __]

1:37:24 loved ones are dead and they now have to grieve that.

1:37:28 And so like that is just one wave of many

1:37:32 situations where people lost everything that mattered to them,

1:37:35 their jobs, their health, their family, so much and had to rebuild from scratch.

1:37:40 And they did.

1:37:41 and they did.

1:37:42 And this is a recurrent thing.

1:37:44 There will be mass waves of misery where it's not just like a handful

1:37:47 of people in society who are going through depression or a tough time in life.

1:37:51 Everyone is just going through it.

1:37:53 And it's like this is an aspect of like this is one of the things

1:37:56 you have to fight through to in order to have computer games and an oven

1:38:00 and you know an opportunity to paint

1:38:03 in the evenings and you know looking forward

1:38:05 to coming home to your dog and laughing

1:38:08 at your birthday parties or somebody else's birthday party.

1:38:11 Like these beautiful moments you pay for them.

1:38:13 You earn them by dragging yourself through the harder moments,

1:38:18 the tougher moments.

1:38:19 And the thing is, the more tough moments you go through,

1:38:22 the more like self assured and confident you can become because you're like,

1:38:27 well, whatever happens, I can handle it.

1:38:29 I've handled a lot.

1:38:31 Once you gain enough exp, you're just like, yeah, maybe tomorrow,

1:38:34 maybe the interview won't go well,

1:38:35 but whether it does or it doesn't, I've gone through worse.

1:38:37 I' I've handled way harder things than being

1:38:39 rejected for a job interview, so who cares?

1:38:42 __] it.

1:38:42 Like, it does make life easier.

1:38:45 It does make the world's challenges easier when you

1:38:48 see just how much glass you can drag yourself across.

1:38:51 Trust me.

1:38:53 And that's why a lot of people when they get

1:38:55 into their 30s f hit a level of self assuredness and confidence.

1:38:59 That's why a lot of women are telling each other,

1:39:01 "Yeah, 30s is your prime." You know,

1:39:04 you learn a lot about life and it life gets easier once you've learned

1:39:08 those things and life gets a lot more awesome and a lot less stressful.

1:39:27 What happened to streaming on Twitch?

1:39:28 I am streaming on Twitch.

1:39:30 You can just see it on YouTube as well.

1:39:32 Like if you hop on my Twitch, it's it's happening there, too.

1:39:35 You're both seeing me at the same time.

1:40:13 Have you have both chats combined or switching between them?

1:40:16 Both combined.

1:40:18 I can see both at once.

1:40:48 Do I like this moments of silence?

1:40:50 Oh, I'm just reading chat.

1:40:51 Like on Mondays, I tend to just hang out with you and we chat.

1:40:55 And so sometimes I just read through what you

1:40:57 have to say so I can respond to it,

1:40:58 but I'm a slow reader because I have dyslexia.

1:41:01 So like when there's a wall of people talking,

1:41:04 it will take me a couple of minutes to read through it.

1:41:08 I appreciate your patience with me.

1:41:10 I mean, I guess it's rare for people who are slow readers to choose

1:41:14 to be streamers because reading is a big part of being a streamer,

1:41:18 but I threw myself at it anyway, and I'm here regardless.

1:41:21 tits.

1:41:28 I love you.

1:41:41 I've seen you speed read on here though.

1:41:43 If you're thinking about that video where

1:41:44 it flashed loads of words on the stream

1:41:46 on on the screen and you had to follow what it was saying the whole way through,

1:41:49 I found that relatively easy.

1:41:51 But I don't think that's because I can read very quickly.

1:41:53 It's because I have already been presuming by the shape and length

1:41:58 of the word and the context of it what it says.

1:42:02 And so one of the ways to speed read is

1:42:04 to not read every single letter to read the word,

1:42:07 but to kind of just assume what it says based on context clues.

1:42:13 And so I feel like even if you are a dyslexic and a slow reader,

1:42:16 speed reading by like in that the type

1:42:18 of speed reading in that video is actually quite easy.

1:42:28 Oh yeah, you naturally do that anyway because of the dyslexia.

1:42:30 And very occasionally I will get things wrong and be like,

1:42:33 "Why the[ __] are you calling my friend

1:42:34 a prostitute?" And it's like they didn't say that.

1:42:37 They're just like, "You should maybe properly look

1:42:39 at what your friend said." And I'll be like, "Oh, oh, that's that." No.

1:42:44 Or when I called that guy uh Kitten Mcshine or Kitchen Machine.

1:42:48 I think I called them Kitchen Machine and their name was Kitten Mcshine.

1:42:53 And for years they've been subbing and I thought they were Kitchen Machine.

1:42:58 And like I only figured it out because they they were like, "Oh yeah,

1:43:01 people assume that I'm a woman all the time." And I was like, "What?

1:43:04 Because you're called Kitchen Machine?

1:43:05 That's so[ __] sexist." And I was so outraged.

1:43:08 And I was like, "Oh, oh, wait.

1:43:20 The name is Kitchen Machine." Oh, then I got the story backwards.

1:43:23 BUT YOU GET YOU GET WHAT I mean.

1:43:43 Is it just me or does it need to sound even more British live?

1:43:46 It depends on the day.

1:43:47 My accent fluctuates unfortunately.

1:43:49 I wish it was much more continuous.

1:43:52 I do.

1:43:54 I need to eat a lot of protein after this stream because,

1:43:56 you know, for my workout gains.

1:43:59 I'm deciding what I'm going to eat.

1:44:01 I mean, it's a bit early to be deciding what I'm going to eat

1:44:03 because I'm going to be hanging out with you for at least another hour,

1:44:06 but like or an hour and a half even.

1:44:08 But I'm still like, how do I get my proteins in?

1:44:11 What am I going to eat?

1:44:17 Tofu.

1:44:18 I already had a[ __] ton of tofu earlier

1:44:20 with lentils and rice and beans and salad and fruit.

1:44:24 It was really good.

1:44:29 What material is that necklace?

1:44:30 It looks almost like a tattoo.

1:44:31 Is it bad that I don't know what kind of metal it's made of?

1:44:38 Like necklaces don't usually come with like my tits.

1:44:41 My tits an ingredient list, so I don't know what it contains.

1:44:45 Just hopefully not lead.

1:44:50 My deck.

1:44:51 My deck.

1:44:58 No, it's pretty normal to not waste no.

1:45:00 Yeah.

1:45:01 Also, I just don't give a[ __] about precious metals

1:45:03 and[ __] I think it's a bit It's not really me

1:45:07 cuz like it's usually quite unethical the way that we get

1:45:10 a hold of our gold and diamonds and[ __] you know,

1:45:13 like blood diamonds and gold mines and[ __]

1:45:16 Usually really unethical places where kitties die a lot.

1:45:18 So, I'm just like, ah, the cheaper the better.

1:45:20 I'd rather it be some local easy to gain metal

1:45:22 than something that people are killing each other over, you know?

1:45:34 Oh, that's absolutely true.

1:45:35 Sad when you think about it.

1:45:36 Yeah.

1:45:36 It's why if like a guy proposed to me, I'd be like,

1:45:38 "What the[ __] are you doing?" But if they proposed me with a diamond,

1:45:41 I would be like, "You don't know me.

1:45:44 Get out of my way, weirdo." Like,

1:45:46 "That is the stupidest thing you could have ever done." Like,

1:45:48 if I was with someone for 7 years and they proposed with like a real diamond,

1:45:52 I would break up with them on the spot.

1:45:54 I'd be like, "The[ __] is wrong with you?" Like, cuz it's really unethical.

1:45:59 And also, I am very vocal about the fact I don't give

1:46:02 a[ __] about diamonds and I don't give a[ __] about status symbols.

1:46:05 And I'm actually pretty opposed to hurting people for silly little rocks

1:46:08 that you could make a sparkly piece of glass and nobody would know.

1:46:11 And like seven kids wouldn't have had to die for it.

1:46:14 What the[ __] are you doing?

1:46:15 So, if someone had known for me for seven years and proposed with a diamond,

1:46:18 I'd be like, "Get out of here.

1:46:35 Exactly.

1:46:35 That's a great email.

1:46:36 What's that called?

1:46:39 People ye people eat there are fake diamonds

1:46:57 and people don't know most of the time.

1:46:58 Yeah, you can just make a diamond because diamonds are

1:47:01 a byproduct of carbon and they're actually really really common.

1:47:05 But companies like Debeers made them artificially scarce and did

1:47:08 this massive ad campaign to sell you[ __] carbon[ __] Essentially,

1:47:12 they were like, you know, he doesn't love you unless he spends like most

1:47:15 of his wages on this ring and it has to be a diamond because women love diamond

1:47:20 and you're a woman so you should love the diamonds.

1:47:22 And women were like, we love the diamond.

1:47:24 And men were like, I'll sacrifice my wages for you, deers.

1:47:28 And like people just fell for it for a few decades.

1:47:30 Poor[ __] And like it's just not like but but like you can just

1:47:34 make a diamond that is completely identical

1:47:38 to a mind diamond in every single way.

1:47:40 Like even experts cannot differentiate them.

1:47:43 There is no way to scientifically differentiate a handmade diamond that you

1:47:49 just made in a lab from one that you made in a mine.

1:47:53 Right?

1:47:54 to the point where they're now saying that labs that can make the diamonds

1:47:58 should be forced to put some sort of engraving on them or something,

1:48:00 some proof to differentiate them from mind ones

1:48:02 that the mind ones can still hold their value.

1:48:04 I don't think we should do that.

1:48:06 I think the mind ones should just lose all

1:48:07 their value and we get rid of the diamond mines because

1:48:10 a lot of these diamond mines absolutely destroy communities

1:48:14 and the environment for a worthless common piece of[ __] So,

1:48:21 like,[ __] diamonds.

1:48:26 I feel like the only time it's acceptable

1:48:28 to wear a real diamond is if it's a handme-down.

1:48:30 Like, if your mom or your grandma gives you

1:48:32 their wedding ring and it just happens to have a diamond.

1:48:34 Fair enough.

1:48:35 But if you're buying new mind diamonds, that's diabolical.

1:48:38 That's like some psychopath[ __] Like, why would you do that?

1:48:42 Why, but it's incredible how marketing,

1:48:57 all you have to do to get someone to spend a lot

1:48:59 of money on something is just tell them it's worth a lot of money.

1:49:03 And like rich people really love brandishing how much wealth they have.

1:49:06 Like a lot of the stuff that they spend a lot

1:49:07 of money on is not because it's worth a lot of money,

1:49:09 but because they just really want you to know that they can spend the money.

1:49:12 That's what brands are.

1:49:14 That's what like really high expensive brand labeling on clothing is.

1:49:18 It's like usually the clothing isn't actually worth more.

1:49:20 It's still made in a sweat shop and it's

1:49:23 still made of plastic that gives you cancer, right?

1:49:25 But and like it's really rare to find high quality clothing at all.

1:49:30 But most of the time,

1:49:31 the high quality labels that will add a few grand to the the price tag are

1:49:36 usually just you being able to flex

1:49:38 that you can spend that much money on clothes.

1:49:41 And that's and from my opinion that just makes me

1:49:44 think like why don't poor people just buy little labels?

1:49:48 Why aren't there just people selling like expensive

1:49:50 labels and you can stitch them into your clothes

1:49:51 and just skip the[ __] 3 month salary

1:50:14 for an engagement ring is 100% the beer's marketing campaign.

1:50:18 Yeah, I' I've watched the documentaries about it.

1:50:21 I have been my my brain has been changed.

1:50:23 I now know why I never really liked it.

1:50:25 I mean, as a kid, I never really liked gold anyway,

1:50:28 but I think it's cuz my dad bought me a necklace,

1:50:30 a gold chain that said daddy's little girl on it.

1:50:32 And I was like maybe nine or like 10 or 11, sometime in that age range.

1:50:37 And I was looking at it like, I'm not wearing this.

1:50:39 What the[ __] I'll wear it if I ever find it.

1:50:55 I'll I'll post it to you.

1:50:58 You probably get more use out of it than me.

1:51:03 Do you still have it?

1:51:04 You know, probably.

1:51:05 I'm not entirely sure, but I probably do still have it somewhere.

1:51:16 Makeup is overrated, too.

1:51:17 I don't agree.

1:51:18 I think makeup is awesome.

1:51:20 And I think like makeup has also been always awesome.

1:51:23 I think we only started stigmatizing it and questioning it

1:51:26 and[ __] on it when it became a feminine activity.

1:51:29 But like, you got to remember that for hundreds of thousands of years,

1:51:33 humans have existed.

1:51:34 And during that time, we often painted ourselves with multiple colors

1:51:39 on our faces and bodies to represent our culture,

1:51:42 our beauty standards, to be artistic, to express ourselves, to tell our stories,

1:51:48 to represent status, to do all sorts of things, right?

1:51:51 It has had this purpose.

1:51:52 And so we've had a relationship with makeup

1:51:54 for as long as we've been human, right?

1:51:58 And it has always been accepted until it became a feminine activity.

1:52:02 And when men no longer were required to do

1:52:04 any of that stuff and only women were, then we started[ __] on it.

1:52:09 So I don't think that we hate weight makeup because makeup is fake or anything.

1:52:12 I think we hate it because it's a feminine pursuit.

1:52:16 And I don't think it should be a feminine pursuit.

1:52:18 I think we should bring it back

1:52:18 for everyone because it's a form of self-expression.

1:52:21 It's kind of like if I went into someone's

1:52:23 house and they'd never put up any wallpaper, they'd never put any carpet down.

1:52:26 They'd never done anything with their house.

1:52:27 I'd be like, "Why did you leave it so plain?" And if they were like, "Well,

1:52:30 I just wanted to keep it the way

1:52:32 that it was built." Um because that's that's more honest.

1:52:35 And it's like, "Bitch, I have nowhere to sit.

1:52:38 You're sleeping on the floor.

1:52:41 Like, what are you doing?

1:52:42 Get some furniture.

1:52:43 Live a little.

1:52:45 Move in." Right?

1:52:47 And it's like I feel the same way about bodies.

1:52:49 If you want to get a tattoo or wear

1:52:51 makeup or dye your hair or get an ear piercing,

1:52:55 if you want to wear specific types of clothing,

1:52:58 if you want to get a[ __] piercing,

1:53:00 if you whatever the[ __] you want to do with your life, right?

1:53:03 I appreciate you moving into your house.

1:53:05 I appreciate you customizing your avatar.

1:53:09 I mean, people spend hours proudly doing that in computer games.

1:53:12 They're like, I'm going to be this character for like probably

1:53:14 a collective total of like 14 days in lived hours, right?

1:53:18 And it's like still I will spend a lot of time

1:53:20 customizing what the hair looks like, the face, the eyes.

1:53:23 No one walts in and goes, "That's so fake.

1:53:25 Just play the character how the developers made it as the developers intended.

1:53:30 Respect the devs.

1:53:31 Don't customize the character." They're like,

1:53:32 "Yeah, of course you'd customize the character.

1:53:34 That's a fun part of playing the game." And it's

1:53:36 like a fun part of existing is customizing your[ __] face.

1:53:40 Paint on it, pierce it, get tattoos, do whatever the[ __] you want.

1:53:44 I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

1:53:45 I don't think I'm I don't think makeup's overrated.

1:53:48 I think it's fine to like makeup.

1:53:58 And funnily enough, whenever I meet a guy,

1:54:02 usually it's a guy who's like, I think women shouldn't wear makeup.

1:54:04 Usually women are fine with people whether they wear makeup or not,

1:54:07 and they're a bit more open-minded.

1:54:08 Usually it's a guy who goes, I don't like women who wear makeup.

1:54:10 Makeup should be banned, whatever.

1:54:11 Right?

1:54:11 And then they play a computer game,

1:54:13 and what's the first thing they put on their female character?

1:54:15 __] makeup.

1:54:17 Usually when a guy the guy who doesn't like

1:54:19 makeup makes a Barbie doll porn star with eyeliner,

1:54:26 lipstick, a boob tube, a boob job,

1:54:29 the perkiest ass known to man, mini skirt, thong.

1:54:34 So don't you start me with that.

1:54:35 If you could be a woman, this is the woman you'd build.

1:54:38 Shut the[ __] up.

1:54:49 Aren't they trying to impress other guys?

1:54:51 No.

1:54:51 Usually, if a guy makes a[ __] smoking hot woman in Monster Hunter,

1:54:56 it's not to impress other guys.

1:54:57 It's because they get to look at the woman.

1:54:59 It's because they get to look at her while they play her.

1:55:03 So, it's like, if you could be a woman, this is how you dress her.

1:55:06 Shut the[ __] up.

1:55:06 If you could be a woman, this is what you do with her face.

1:55:08 So, you could shut the[ __] up.

1:55:15 I want her to look nice in the pretty clothes.

1:55:18 Exactly.

1:55:18 That's another reason.

1:55:20 So, like if I think that men like makeup more than they realize.

1:55:23 That's my take.

1:55:24 I think a lot of men love makeup.

1:55:26 They just don't realize it.

1:55:27 And a lot of men love plastic surgery and don't realize it, too.

1:55:30 And I learned this from a woman who's had a lot of plastic surgery,

1:55:33 but it's good plastic surgery.

1:55:34 So, she looks very unnatural to the average woman.

1:55:37 But to a lot of men, because they don't know what they're looking

1:55:39 at and they don't know anything about plastic surgery,

1:55:41 they think she looks really natural and they're like,

1:55:43 "So most of her boyfriends that she's ever had in their life are like,

1:55:46 I love natural women.

1:55:47 I hate things like lip filler and stuff." And she's

1:55:49 like not telling them that she has a boob job,

1:55:52 lip filler, cheek filler, brow lift, bleoplasty, all this stuff.

1:55:57 And she's like, "Yeah,

1:55:58 these guys love this[ __] They just don't know what it looks like.

1:56:00 They just think that all the botched women who've had like surgery go wrong.

1:56:04 They think that that's what all plastic surgery is.

1:56:06 And they have no idea that they[ __] love

1:56:08 it and are attracted to women who have it.

1:56:19 But there's not a lot of good plastic surgery.

1:56:20 I feel like there is.

1:56:21 And the reason why you don't know that there is is because you can't see it.

1:56:25 Is because you can't tell.

1:56:28 So you are probably seeing thousands more people both

1:56:31 male and female with plastic surgery than you realize.

1:56:34 you only notice and are only keeping count the ones where you can tell.

1:56:37 And usually if you can tell it's bad.

1:56:40 So obviously that's going to create a bias.

1:56:54 Do you think that women should proudly own their plastic surgery?

1:56:56 No.

1:56:57 I think that anyone who's had plastic surgery for any reason,

1:57:00 male or female, does not have to disclose it to anyone.

1:57:03 I don't think they have to tell anyone.

1:57:04 If they want to tell people, they can.

1:57:06 If they don't want to tell people,

1:57:07 they don't have to because it's your medical history.

1:57:09 And that's like, you don't owe that to anyone.

1:57:11 Like, if you want to do something to yourself,

1:57:13 for yourself, you don't have to run that by anyone.

1:57:16 You don't have to disclose it to anyone.

1:57:18 It's nobody else's business but yours what you do with your body.

1:57:21 If you want to get massive watermelon size ball implants,

1:57:26 I'm pretty sure most people would guess,

1:57:27 but if you don't want to tell people they're not natural,

1:57:29 you don't have to tell people jack[ __] That's personal.

1:57:34 Do what you want with your body and tell people what you want about your body.

1:57:38 Whether it's everything or nothing.

1:57:40 I don't need your full medical history to respect you, know you,

1:57:43 hang out with you, work with you, have you serve me a drink at a bar.

1:57:47 Like, none of my interactions are based on whether or not you got a nose job.

1:57:52 So, it's not something you owe me.

1:58:01 Do ball jobs exist?

1:58:03 Yes, they do.

1:58:04 Dick extension surgery exists, too.

1:58:07 The the surgeons who extend dicks literally have to go

1:58:12 and they have to like find their clients before they kill themselves.

1:58:17 This is something I learned.

1:58:18 So, I was listening to a guy who does

1:58:20 dick extension surgery for people who have micro penises.

1:58:23 And he goes and finds youngsters who have micro penises,

1:58:28 and he tells them about dick extension surgery and says he's here

1:58:31 for them if they ever need him when they're old enough to get

1:58:33 the surgery because he knows that so many of them end

1:58:37 their lives before they get to be old enough to get the surgery.

1:58:54 So, he's poaching your audience.

1:58:55 Well, I would say that's a very slick roast of yours, but to be honest with you,

1:58:59 I haven't seen very many micro penises,

1:59:01 but I've been sent thousands of dickpicks in my life,

1:59:05 even before I started streaming.

1:59:07 And like the only people who manage to stay in my audience and comment,

1:59:11 the people you're seeing here are

1:59:12 the people who didn't act inappropriately, right?

1:59:15 But the people who do interact inappropriately get very quickly banned, right?

1:59:21 But um yeah, some of them end up finding

1:59:23 my Discord and sending me the odd dickpick or two.

1:59:26 So, like assuming that somebody has a micro penis because they're here is weird.

1:59:30 Anyway, because like another thing that I've noticed is that people

1:59:37 forget that people with small dicks can be good people.

1:59:40 Like I don't know why, but it's used as an insult as if

1:59:43 like people with small dicks did anything wrong.

1:59:45 But it's not something you chose about you

1:59:47 and it's not some[ __] moral failing either.

1:59:50 Like why do we use it as an insult?

1:59:52 I've never really understood that.

1:59:58 It's also extremely rare.

1:59:59 Yeah.

2:00:10 It's emasculating.

2:00:12 I I obviously it's going to be really hard for me to understand that as a woman.

2:00:16 Like I have a disadvantage in trying to understand

2:00:18 emasculating because there's no such thing as effeminating.

2:00:21 There's nothing that you could do to me that would degrade

2:00:23 my femininity and make me feel like less of a woman.

2:00:26 Right?

2:00:27 So, I might be talking out of my ass here.

2:00:29 I might be being insensitive,

2:00:31 but I don't think that emasculating anyone actually[ __] exists.

2:00:35 I don't think you can humiliate someone so

2:00:37 much that they just lose their man card.

2:00:39 I don't think that having a small dick makes you more or less of a man either.

2:00:43 I just genuinely don't.

2:00:45 I don't think it's something that other people can

2:00:47 decide about you or take away for social reasons.

2:00:52 Right?

2:00:52 So, I don't believe that emasculating emasculating someone exists.

2:00:56 And men who are secure in themselves,

2:00:58 the most desirable men also don't believe in emasculating.

2:01:02 Like a a an attractive guy can wear some nail

2:01:04 varnish and not feel like he's had his manhood taken away.

2:01:10 Like, and it's weird because some men cope with having

2:01:14 a physique that other men ridicule by showing it more.

2:01:18 Like, some people get defensive and they're like, "No," and they go into denial.

2:01:21 No, I have a big[ __] Don't.

2:01:23 And other men will be like, "Yeah, I have a tiny[ __] What of it?

2:01:26 Look at my tiny cock." and they will just like and it's funny because like a lot

2:01:29 of people who get into streaking and flashing

2:01:31 and things like this quite often are guys who

2:01:35 are on the smaller end and like because it it appeals to people who are like you

2:01:39 know what if you're going to judge me either way[ __] it I'm just going to be

2:01:42 like free with it I'm going to be open I'm going to lean into it you know

2:01:46 and so like I don't know I don't think that having a big or small penis really

2:01:50 defines anything about your masculinity as a human being

2:01:53 I don't think it makes you more or less of a man like I I will look

2:01:56 down on a man who can't emotionally regulate himself.

2:02:00 I'll look down on a man who is violent to those weaker than himself.

2:02:05 I'll look down on a man who punches walls when he's mad.

2:02:08 But I'll never look down on a man for things he didn't decide about himself.

2:02:12 And seeing as we don't decide how big our nose is or how

2:02:15 big our eyes are or how big our dicks are or whatever,

2:02:18 like I don't think that that should be a defining factor

2:02:21 on how much of a man you are or how worthy you are.

2:02:25 It's just it has nothing to do with anything.

2:02:33 I just think of them as like heavy penises and sport mode penises, you know?

2:03:00 Genuine question.

2:03:01 Do women as a society have not a monolith

2:03:04 have toxic femininity e like men have toxic masculinity?

2:03:07 Okay, so there's there's masculinity and there's toxic masculinity.

2:03:10 They're two separate things.

2:03:11 They're not overlapping at all.

2:03:12 It's not inherently toxic to be masculine,

2:03:14 but like you can take your masculinity to a toxic degree.

2:03:17 And that would be things like saying,

2:03:18 "I don't wipe my ass because touching between

2:03:20 the cheeks is gay and being gay isn't masculine,

2:03:22 and I'm a real man, so I have skid marks in my pants." Like,

2:03:25 that's toxic masculinity.

2:03:27 Like, there are men who don't wipe

2:03:28 their ass because their masculinity is so toxic, right?

2:03:31 There are men who are violent or don't talk about their emotions,

2:03:34 that ridicule their friends for talking about their emotions,

2:03:37 these sorts of things.

2:03:38 The that's toxic masculinity, right?

2:03:40 Men bullying each other so much that someone would rather commit

2:03:42 suicide than admit that he's sad about breaking up with his wife.

2:03:45 That's toxic masculinity.

2:03:47 was that like masculinity isn't toxic, but some things can be taken to such

2:03:50 an extreme that they become self-destructive or destructive towards others.

2:03:54 And that's toxic masculinity.

2:03:56 It's hard to pinpoint toxic versions of femininity.

2:03:59 But if I were to try and put a circle around it,

2:04:02 usually when men do things in a masculine way and it turns toxic,

2:04:06 they turn their anger and their feelings and they take

2:04:08 it out on other people and it causes victims in others.

2:04:11 When women get upset and angry about things and it turns toxic,

2:04:15 they tend to turn it on themselves.

2:04:17 So like when you go to a ward for people

2:04:18 who have eating disorders or self harm a lot,

2:04:21 you will find a lot more women there than men because

2:04:24 men are more likely to kill someone else over their rage.

2:04:26 Women are more likely to kill themselves over

2:04:28 their rage or hurt themselves over their rage.

2:04:31 If they're feeling insecure, they're less likely to compete with others.

2:04:33 They are more likely to starve or harm themselves in some degree.

2:04:37 Like women turn their rage inward.

2:04:39 And so like when we de develop toxic behaviors,

2:04:43 they tend to hurt us more than they do other people, right?

2:04:47 When you get to the toxic levels of femininity,

2:04:49 it's when you are so unable to speak of your needs,

2:04:52 you are so unable to take care of yourself,

2:04:54 to stand up for yourself, to be your own friend,

2:04:57 that you become walked all over and destroyed by the life you chose.

2:05:03 I think that it might be toxic masculine,

2:05:05 toxic femininity to stay in a marriage that is

2:05:08 an abusive where you're not allowed to work.

2:05:10 You're not allowed to do anything for yourself.

2:05:12 You're not allowed to have any hobbies.

2:05:13 You're not allowed to step outside of your role of giving.

2:05:16 Where you're getting to the point where like you have a favorite food,

2:05:19 but you save the last of it for your sons to make sandwiches for them tomorrow

2:05:23 rather than eating it because you wouldn't want

2:05:25 to take the last slice of this thing.

2:05:27 Meanwhile, they don't even care about it and it's your favorite food.

2:05:30 These sorts of things.

2:05:30 being so self-depreciating that you hold no value in your own pleasure,

2:05:34 your own identity, your own hobbies.

2:05:36 You do not develop a sense of self, right?

2:05:38 And I'd say like that is the toxic end of femininity where

2:05:41 you take feminine traits to such an extreme that they start destroying you.

2:05:45 Uh I think that would be like a common thing you see

2:05:47 where the masculine where the femininity

2:05:50 turns toxic is just completely self-erasia.

2:05:53 And we see this in spirituality.

2:05:55 I've talked about this a lot.

2:05:56 You know when you see people take out iawashka or like they go on a spiritual

2:06:00 journey and they take a hallucinagen as part

2:06:04 of their spiritual journey to experience ego death.

2:06:06 A lot of men will look for ego death.

2:06:08 A lot of women won't because women need to build an ego.

2:06:13 So like so when men are like they're like my concept of self is destroying me.

2:06:18 My attachment to things, the way I sleep with women,

2:06:21 the way I connect with others,

2:06:22 the way I treat my family, it's[ __] I'm depressed.

2:06:24 I hate myself.

2:06:25 I hate my life.

2:06:26 The person I've built is not serving me.

2:06:29 So, ego isn't bad for you.

2:06:30 Um, ego is just your concept of self.

2:06:32 It can be good or bad, right?

2:06:34 And so, like, some people need to destroy

2:06:36 that ego to build one that is healthier.

2:06:39 And so, like that is why men are more likely to go

2:06:42 on a spiritual journey where they do an ego death, a reset.

2:06:46 Whereas women quite often when they get

2:06:47 into the toxic levels of femininity will spend

2:06:50 so much time taking care of other people that they never build a sense of self.

2:06:53 They never found out what hobbies they're into or what skills

2:06:56 they have because they went from childhood to serving a family,

2:07:01 serving a partner, serving children.

2:07:04 And in that time, they never made time for themselves.

2:07:06 They never made friends with anyone.

2:07:07 They never had adventures of their own.

2:07:09 They never wrote their own story and so they don't have a concept of themselves.

2:07:12 They don't have an ego and so for them to connect

2:07:15 with the world better and connect with the like connect with everything

2:07:18 better and have a spiritual journey they have to develop the concept

2:07:20 of self not kill one but make one in the first place.

2:07:23 And so like I would say yeah if I were to define toxic femininity it would

2:07:27 be the self-destructive self-erasia to completely banish

2:07:32 your entire identity and just be a servant be

2:07:35 purely in a servitude mode to be so

2:07:38 submissive that you have you are not a person

2:07:41 you are just your deeds and quite often

2:07:43 those people never get respected never get loved.

2:07:46 Um what happens to them is the minute they

2:07:49 stop being able to serve their duties they get discarded.

2:07:52 So, they end up with the kind of partner who doesn't

2:07:53 stay with them if they get cancer or if they get sick,

2:07:56 terminally ill, their partner will cheat on them and leave them.

2:07:59 You know, um people will get mad at them

2:08:01 that they're not making lunch anymore when they're sick.

2:08:03 They won't get looked after or cared for.

2:08:05 They'll arrange everyone's birthdays,

2:08:07 but nobody's ever held a birthday or bought a present for them.

2:08:10 They buy all the Christmas presents and write them from dad even

2:08:14 if dad never bought them or shopped from them or even if

2:08:16 dad doesn't even know what their kids like and isn't going

2:08:18 to be there Christmas morning is going to be working or whatever, right?

2:08:22 She's buying everyone's presents, making an experience, cooking all the dinner,

2:08:26 laying the table, decorating the house, and nobody notices.

2:08:29 They only notice each other and they never would do anything like that for her.

2:08:32 That would be toxic femininity.

2:08:34 Finding a life and burying yourself in servitude

2:08:36 to the point where you don't exist anymore.

2:08:38 You are just a deed.

2:08:57 But like I will say, yeah,

2:08:59 it's weird that we don't like ego because ego doesn't mean bad.

2:09:03 Like ego doesn't mean thinking so highly of yourself when you're not that good.

2:09:06 Ego is just a term for self-concept.

2:09:08 We have loads of different words for this.

2:09:10 In therapy talk, it's called a schema.

2:09:13 You have a schema.

2:09:13 Like a a schema is like a collection of ideas about who you are.

2:09:18 And like sometimes your schema needs healing, right?

2:09:21 And I think they in therapy talk don't call it an ego

2:09:24 because we don't most common people don't actually think about what ego means.

2:09:29 And I've only ever used it in a negative context.

2:09:31 So you start to think it's negative.

2:09:32 It's not.

2:09:33 It's just your idea of who you are.

2:09:35 So if you think you know I am a gamer and a worker

2:09:39 and a friend and a brother like that would be your ego.

2:09:43 That's not a negative ego.

2:09:44 That's not a fragile ego.

2:09:46 It's not a bad ego.

2:09:46 It's not a big ego.

2:09:48 But some people are protective of their ego even if it's not true.

2:09:51 So sometimes you can have this idea that you are awesome, kind,

2:09:54 and loving even if you're an abusive partner, even if you do horrible things.

2:09:58 And you might if you get challenged on that, you might deny it.

2:10:01 Not because it's not true, but because you need to defend your ego.

2:10:04 Your idea of yourself is threatened when people challenge your behavior.

2:10:07 So some people their ego is too big for them to self-improve.

2:10:12 But that doesn't mean ego is bad.

2:10:13 It just means this person has a terrible relationship with their ego.

2:10:17 And I think like having an ego, being able to acknowledge who you are,

2:10:21 how you behave, what you do, what you don't do can be really, really helpful.

2:10:25 Like it can help you be a decent human being.

2:10:27 If you decide like I'm a person who

2:10:28 stands up for animals and those weaker than myself.

2:10:31 If you decide that before you get into a situation,

2:10:34 then you handle that situation more quickly.

2:10:36 If someone's attacking an animal and you've decided, I defend animals,

2:10:39 then you will rush in and help that animal immediately.

2:10:41 But if you haven't decided who you are or how

2:10:43 you feel about the situation and then you're in it,

2:10:44 you might be like, uh uh, what do I do?

2:10:47 And then it might have passed, the dog is dead,

2:10:49 and you sit there and you regret it.

2:10:50 You're like, I should have saved the dog.

2:10:53 __] So, like sometimes having a sense of who

2:10:56 you are keeps you sticking to your morals,

2:10:59 to your your idea of a good life, your idea of what being a good person is.

2:11:03 If you decide you're a family person and you're a protector,

2:11:06 then if you decide that ahead of time,

2:11:07 you're going to stand up for your partner if they're in trouble, right?

2:11:10 I saw a video of a woman getting attacked with a knife

2:11:14 um next to her husband or partner and her partner just stood there,

2:11:18 looked really scared,

2:11:19 hid behind her and then ran away and left her with with the man with the knife.

2:11:25 And so like I feel like a lot of people watched that video and really

2:11:27 scrutinized him and were really mad at him for not being a real man.

2:11:30 I don't think it has anything to be to do with being a man.

2:11:33 I think if she was with a woman that would

2:11:34 have been a terrible thing to do with your partner.

2:11:36 I think if she was a man and it was

2:11:38 the woman who got scared and hid behind him and ran away,

2:11:41 I think that would be to be a terrible partner, too.

2:11:43 I think if you decide that you are going to be the kind

2:11:45 of person who stands up for the ones that you love ahead of time,

2:11:48 then you will do the right thing in the moment.

2:11:50 And that is a part of your ego.

2:11:52 You have to decide who you are.

2:11:54 And I like having an ego is useful is

2:11:57 beautiful if you have a good relationship with it.

2:11:59 Having a good schema and therapists will listen to your schema.

2:12:06 They will listen to your idea of yourself and they will ask you questions.

2:12:09 If you have problems with your behavior

2:12:11 and things and like you're not seeing what

2:12:13 the problem is because your idea of yourself

2:12:15 is different to how you're actually behaving.

2:12:18 Sometimes your ego can get in your way.

2:12:19 Like if you think no I'm a good person but you're doing a shitty thing.

2:12:22 Like you may not see that you're doing a shitty

2:12:24 thing because you're like I wouldn't do a shitty thing.

2:12:26 I'm a good person.

2:12:27 Most people in studies n a 90% plus of people in studies think they

2:12:32 are a very good person and think they are the nicest person that they know

2:12:36 and it's like we know we're all human we've experienced humans we know that 90%

2:12:41 plus of people are not wonderful and nice but most people believe that they are.

2:12:46 So sometimes your your ego can be very very unrealistic, not very accurate,

2:12:56 and it creates blind spots where you

2:12:58 might be hurting your family or hurting yourself.

2:13:01 And a therapist can point out and ask you questions and make

2:13:04 you realize things that you weren't seeing because of your ego.

2:13:08 So yeah, ego can be good, ego can be bad,

2:13:11 ego can be a tool, ego can need destroying,

2:13:14 you know, but every time you describe yourself,

2:13:23 you are displaying your ego, good or bad.

2:13:32 So wait, did we get an answer to if toxic femininity exists?

2:13:35 I got incredibly lost.

2:13:36 Oh yeah, I said that ages ago before

2:13:37 I even started talking and clarifying about ego.

2:13:39 I started talking about how I think toxic femininity is when you become a role

2:13:44 where you become entirely a gender role to the point where you destroy yourself.

2:13:48 And I think toxic masculinity is that by definition

2:13:51 as well to be honest with you.

2:13:53 It's but it's just manifests in a completely

2:13:55 different way because we have different expectations of men.

2:13:58 So like you might completely destroy yourself by taking masculinity too

2:14:02 far just like you might destroy yourself taking femininity too far.

2:14:05 But yeah, usually toxic femininity is becoming pure

2:14:10 servitude to the point where you destroy yourself,

2:14:12 where you are not a person and no one cares about you

2:14:14 and all that anyone values about you is what you do for them.

2:14:18 And not finding out until you're on your deathbed

2:14:21 that's that that was all you were to people.

2:14:30 And I think like one of the things that I would advise if I had kids,

2:14:33 if I had a daughter and I wanted to make sure she

2:14:35 didn't just become nothing but a servant and nothing more with no identity,

2:14:39 no values, no no one caring about anything about her is

2:14:43 I would I would give her these top bits of advice.

2:14:45 I'd be like only get with a man who tells you who you are to them.

2:14:50 So if you're considering getting with a man and you ask, why do you love me?

2:14:54 And they go because you keep the house clean.

2:14:57 because you make me breakfast every day, because you listen to my problems,

2:15:03 because you always make me smile on a hard day.

2:15:05 If he lists things that you do for him, he doesn't love you.

2:15:10 If he doesn't say things like,

2:15:12 "I love the way you paint things and the way that you see the world.

2:15:17 I love your viewpoints.

2:15:18 They change my mind." Like, "I love, you know,

2:15:21 your habits and the things that you care

2:15:23 about." and he can list those individually about you.

2:15:26 If he speaks about your character,

2:15:29 the unique things that make you who you are, then he loves you.

2:15:33 But if he speaks about things you've done for him, he loves what you do for him.

2:15:38 And I would say like to help protect a woman from tox toxic femininity,

2:15:42 I would say um only be friends with people who also message you first.

2:15:49 If you are the only one messaging first, get rid of those people.

2:15:53 You know, I would encourage her to have hobbies.

2:15:57 Even if she wanted to be a housewife, I would encourage her to have hobbies

2:16:00 and a separate life from her partner and her kids.

2:16:03 So that if she lost her partner and her kids, she would still have a life.

2:16:06 That they are add-ons, that they are not the center.

2:16:10 They should be also cool things about her existence,

2:16:13 but that of which she has many.

2:16:16 And I think that would save her.

2:16:17 And I think I also would encourage her to uh never say anything

2:16:22 poor about her body and never hate her body as much as men do.

2:16:26 Like no one should ever be angry at you for being whatever size you want.

2:16:32 But even more important than that, you should never

2:16:34 be mad at yourself for not being a certain size.

2:16:36 Like there you don't owe the world a specific size.

2:16:39 You don't owe the world a specific type of beauty.

2:16:41 You can have whatever amount of like hair or none.

2:16:44 You can have a bush or none.

2:16:46 You can be fat or thin.

2:16:47 You could be muscular.

2:16:49 You could be whatever body you want.

2:16:51 But never be mad at your body.

2:16:54 And never see your body as not enough.

2:16:56 And never listen to anybody who tries to make you feel bad about having a body.

2:17:00 Cuz the body is the greatest gift you will ever receive.

2:17:02 No matter what shape it is, it is carrying you everywhere you go.

2:17:06 You are, you know, your brain is the most complicated

2:17:08 and beautiful thing you will ever be given in your entire life.

2:17:11 It is the most complex thing we know of in the universe.

2:17:15 We haven't even made computers that are as powerful and strong and as the brain.

2:17:20 Um, so like your body is a gift,

2:17:23 your eyesight is a gift, your hearing is a gift,

2:17:26 your sense of smell is a gift, your everything that your body does is a gift.

2:17:30 Never let anybody make you not appreciate this awesome thing that you have.

2:17:36 And the fact that they can't jerk off to it

2:17:38 and it's not their particular brand of beauty doesn't matter.

2:17:41 It really doesn't[ __] matter because no matter how beautiful you are,

2:17:45 I would take them and I would sit them

2:17:46 in front of people like I'd go into Rihanna's comment section.

2:17:49 Rihanna's gorgeous, right?

2:17:51 I look at all these mediocre men going,

2:17:54 "She's mid." Look at these men who wouldn't

2:17:57 pass the beauty standard that they're holding her to.

2:18:00 This is how ridiculous it is.

2:18:01 Whilst there are men who would kill to be breathe the same air

2:18:06 as her, there are also men who are calling her mid and saying,

2:18:09 "I could never date her." you know,

2:18:11 her arms are too wide or some[ __] And it's mean,

2:18:13 meanwhile, they look like gum that someone scraped off someone's shoe.

2:18:16 And it's like, other people's critique of your body is[ __] ridiculous.

2:18:20 You're the only one who has to live in it.

2:18:22 Appreciate the[ __] out of it.

2:18:23 Never let anyone turn you against your own body.

2:18:40 Do all your relationships involve rel do all

2:18:44 of your relationships with people involve getting something out of them?

2:18:47 I don't know if that's a question.

2:18:48 It doesn't look like a reply, but I feel like I No, this is not acid at you.

2:18:54 Okay, cool.

2:18:55 Because I was going to say, yeah, no, I don't think that applies to me.

2:18:58 That'd be a bit of a weird question for anyone to ask me.

2:19:06 It's taken me a long time to appreciate my body.

2:19:08 I think it's really hard because there's

2:19:09 a huge industry that really benefits off everyone's insecurity.

2:19:12 So like the world, we live in a capitalist society

2:19:16 that really does heavily profit off you feeling perpetually insecure.

2:19:20 Because if you're insecure, you're more likely to buy more expensive

2:19:23 clothes and more clothes than you actually need.

2:19:25 If you're insecure, you're more likely to buy B

2:19:27 products to fix things that aren't actually issues with you.

2:19:30 I saw that there's like a little capsule you

2:19:33 can buy that makes your sweat smell like roses.

2:19:37 Like people sweat is such a beautiful mechanism.

2:19:39 You're supposed to sweat.

2:19:41 And there are people taking rose capsules before they go to the gym.

2:19:45 So their sweat smells like roses.

2:19:47 It can potentially cause liver and kidney damage.

2:19:51 So I wouldn't recommend it.

2:19:52 Um, but people are willing to gamble that just to not face the embarrassment

2:19:57 of people being able to smell their sweat when they go to the gym,

2:20:01 when they do things that where you're supposed to sweat.

2:20:06 And mouthwash didn't exist for most of humanity and it was just floor cleaner.

2:20:10 There was a floor cleaner company and they found

2:20:12 a way to rebrand and sell more floor cleaner.

2:20:20 And so they invented a illness that doesn't exist.

2:20:23 Halattosis was a madeup word made up by a mouthwash

2:20:27 company to make you feel ashamed of your breath.

2:20:30 And they first targeted women.

2:20:32 Of course they did, right?

2:20:34 Because so they with women they had

2:20:36 these little sheets and you can go find them,

2:20:38 these adverts and magazines where they said um is

2:20:42 he running away when you try to kiss him?

2:20:44 You might suffer from halattosis.

2:20:46 Is your breath horrible?

2:20:47 No one wants to know you.

2:20:48 No one wants to be friends with you.

2:20:49 How embarrassing.

2:20:50 and you can fix it with this with mouthwash, you know.

2:20:54 And so like they invented a problem.

2:20:57 They invented some extra shame to profit from.

2:21:00 Most shame is about control or profit.

2:21:03 It's not actually good for you or healthy for you.

2:21:19 So it was the same with leg hair.

2:21:22 Um so men's razors they wanted to start selling to women.

2:21:26 So they started making women feel embarrassed about their leg hair.

2:21:29 They started because leg hair was attractive

2:21:31 for a longass time because it's a sign of puberty.

2:21:33 Like men were really attracted to signs that women were fertile which

2:21:37 makes sense in like in a natural way in an instinctive way.

2:21:40 signs that a woman is fertile are attractive.

2:21:44 Um because like if you mate with a child,

2:21:47 they could die and if you get a child pregnant, they will die, right?

2:21:51 So it stands to reason that men

2:21:53 would be attracted to signs of puberty development,

2:21:58 you know, that someone has completed that stage of their life and are an adult.

2:22:02 So like body hair, having a full bush, having curves, having thick thighs,

2:22:09 having like fat distributed where estrogen distributes it, right?

2:22:13 These sorts of developmental things that show

2:22:15 this is an adult who can survive child birth.

2:22:18 And so, but like leg hair started becoming a point of shame because

2:22:22 these companies started displaying it as like

2:22:25 you should be ashamed of your leg hair.

2:22:26 No one's going to want to touch you unless

2:22:28 you're baby smooth like a child all the time.

2:22:30 And it was just shame for profit to get women

2:22:33 to be buying razors too so they could double their[ __] sales.

2:22:36 That was it.

2:22:37 That was all they did it for, right?

2:22:40 And so I think it's really hard to like your body because everywhere,

2:22:44 every billboard, every advert,

2:22:46 every TV show is constantly trying to and profiting

2:22:49 from you thinking that there's something wrong with the average body.

2:22:54 The average is usually healthy.

2:22:55 In medical terms, average usually means like the aim, the ideal, right?

2:23:01 And that should be like the healthy range.

2:23:05 But average becomes such a[ __] insult in today's society.

2:23:09 If I called you average, like, yeah, my friend is pretty average.

2:23:12 People would think I was calling them ugly or boring.

2:23:17 Even typical gets that sometimes, right?

2:23:20 So even though medically for health you should be aiming to be average,

2:23:27 the world at large thinks that that is a shameful place to be and you

2:23:30 should be constantly aiming to be exceptional or no one's going to[ __] you.

2:23:34 No one's going to date you.

2:23:36 Everyone's going to think you're gross.

2:23:37 You're it's going to be embarrassing.

2:23:40 So you should buy the best shoes.

2:23:42 Like kids crying at school crying to their parents cuz

2:23:45 they're like you need to buy me the modern shoes, the new shoes for this season.

2:23:49 or people will take the piss out of me and I will get bullied.

2:23:53 And I saw that kids getting bullied for wearing the wrong shoes.

2:23:57 And it starts[ __] young when you're a kid

2:23:59 and you question it the least and you bully each

2:24:01 other and you give each other permanent issues and insecurities

2:24:04 that chase you for the rest of your life.

2:24:06 I feel like most of the things you're insecure about,

2:24:08 you probably got insecure about them when you were like five.

2:24:16 Yeah, it does start young.

2:24:17 It's crazy.

2:24:18 Yeah.

2:24:18 And we all have it.

2:24:19 Women aren't allowed to have eyebrows.

2:24:22 Women start getting ridiculed for having eyebrows.

2:24:24 I remember the first time I was

2:24:25 bullied for having cat like caterpillar eyebrows.

2:24:28 I was under the age of 10 and I started plucking them so

2:24:31 that they would be acceptable and I would be treated like a human being.

2:24:34 There's constant[ __] like that with everything.

2:24:38 Dick size is one for men.

2:24:40 Like dick size is absolutely one for men.

2:24:42 Guys scared to go into the changing rooms

2:24:44 and stuff because they're ashamed of their size.

2:24:46 guys crying in the bedroom and being really

2:24:48 worried that their partner's gonna think they're small.

2:24:51 And usually these guys have averagesized dicks.

2:24:53 They've just been watching a[ __] ton of porn, right?

2:24:57 And they think that the guy with the massive like arm length,

2:25:01 forearm length schlong is the average because

2:25:04 that's the only dicks they're really seeing.

2:25:06 And so like, yeah, a lot of people are constantly insecure and it's

2:25:11 the world profits from turning you against yourself all of the time.

2:25:15 And it will take so much energy from you.

2:25:17 It will sap your joy in life if you're constantly thinking about your body

2:25:21 and how it looks to others and maintaining and sanitizing your body for others.

2:25:26 I don't I don't mean sanitizing.

2:25:27 I think it's good to be sanitary.

2:25:29 You should wash.

2:25:29 You should wipe your ass, you know,

2:25:31 but I'm saying like when you're sanitizing your body for other people's eyes,

2:25:34 you're not focusing on your health.

2:25:36 You're not focusing on what's good for you and what elevates your experience.

2:25:40 You are focusing on shame and avoiding shame.

2:25:44 You are constantly paying to avoid shame.

2:25:49 And that's why it's so hard to like your body.

2:25:52 That's why it's so hard to feel comfortable.

2:25:54 That's why you feel self-conscious in a crowded room and feel

2:25:58 fine when you're at home and no one's around, right?

2:26:19 a female porn star said that female porn stars don't like huge penis.

2:26:23 I feel like yeah, it stands to reason because a lot of porn is not a sex act.

2:26:28 It's usually like hours and hours of stopping and starting

2:26:31 and getting the right camera angles and pausing and like everyone holding

2:26:34 their position and staying very still while they pour like fake

2:26:37 come on people for screenshots and pictures and things like this.

2:26:40 So you might be working with a guy for like

2:26:43 10 hours and if someone is very very well endowed

2:26:48 those are going to be 10 very painful hours because

2:26:52 when women get erections it makes room for the penis.

2:26:55 If you're not actually erect, then that's going to be quite agonizing.

2:26:59 Also, the texture of your insides changes.

2:27:02 So, like it it does make it very difficult to just have something

2:27:07 pressing on your insides for a long time if you're not specifically aroused.

2:27:10 So, it doesn't it doesn't surprise me that people who are

2:27:13 porn stars probably don't prefer the massive massive penises, but earwigs do.

2:27:19 Did you know that earwings prefer bigger penises?

2:27:25 An earwig's penis is like twice the length

2:27:28 of their body because they're sexually selected by the female.

2:27:31 Like female earwigs will mate multiple times

2:27:33 with the ones with the larger penises.

2:27:34 The ones with the smaller penises, they're like one and done.

2:27:36 They're like, "That's nice.

2:27:37 I hope I never see you again." But they'll go, "Hey,

2:27:39 can we hang out again?" with the guy with the big penis.

2:27:42 And that is earwigs, not humans, earwigs specifically.

2:27:48 Yeah.

2:27:48 So earwigs are size queens.

2:27:59 Not sure how I feel about that knowledge, but today I learned.

2:28:01 Yeah, I feel like so there is a lot of sexual selection.

2:28:04 So when when a species is allowed to choose what partner they have,

2:28:11 you start to see partners with preferable sexual traits being

2:28:16 selected more often and that trait becoming more common, right?

2:28:20 I think there's a reason why there's a median dick size for each country.

2:28:26 And I think it's probably to do with female selection.

2:28:30 I think that, you know, if massive giant dicks, if the bigger the better,

2:28:34 men, human males would have much bigger schlongs by now on average.

2:28:54 Why are you just dropping fun facts today, Pinkies?

2:28:57 Like I always find it fascinating how Anita can have a 45minute

2:29:00 non-stop rant but can't drink apple juice without ceasing to exist.

2:29:04 Is this like the in-game loading screens where you

2:29:06 get you get a hint dropped every now and again?

2:29:08 Are you just like telling people that I can't

2:29:10 drink apple juice as like a fun little loading

2:29:13 fact between between rants because like it is actually

2:29:22 my kryptonite and you probably shouldn't tell people about that.

2:29:31 Like I immediately puke.

2:29:32 I choke and puke on apple juice.

2:29:34 I can't swallow it.

2:29:37 I'm like, is there apple juice in this?

2:29:41 Even though I love apple juice.

2:29:53 And it's really bad because the apple juicification like it's the cheapest

2:29:57 of the apple it's the cheapest fruit juice to produce in the UK.

2:30:00 So now our version of shrinkflation where they raise

2:30:03 the prices and give you less portions is not

2:30:06 to shrink the bottles of fruit juice but to just

2:30:08 make a higher percentage of it apple juice.

2:30:10 So you'll buy mango juice and it's like 25% mango juice

2:30:15 and then the rest is apple juice and I won't know mango juice.

2:30:22 So I feel personally attacked by the apple apple juiceification.

2:30:32 Apple phobic.

2:30:33 But I love apples.

2:30:34 I try to eat them and then I puke them.

2:30:37 I try to drink the apple.

2:30:38 I'm like apple juice.

2:30:40 I went on the first class in the trains.

2:30:42 I've started taking first class to avoid weird people.

2:30:46 Um because you know sometimes people recognize me and I it's nice most

2:30:49 of the time but sometimes it's not nice and I I get sleepy traveling.

2:30:53 I'm not out during the day much and I usually am sleepy during the day.

2:30:56 So I want to be able to fall asleep and not wake

2:30:58 up to someone who's like mouth breathing and like I love you.

2:31:02 I've been watching you for years.

2:31:05 You touched my elbow.

2:31:06 I think we have a special connection.

2:31:08 Where are you going?

2:31:09 Where do you live?

2:31:11 Um, so like uh to avoid that I

2:31:14 started taking first class trains to travel places.

2:31:16 A thank you so much.

2:31:19 I appreciate that Med.

2:31:22 I really love the Minute Made Apple juice.

2:31:25 Wow, way to flex.

2:31:27 I feel flexed on.

2:31:28 I wish I could enjoy Minute Made.

2:31:31 But anyway, um, so yeah,

2:31:32 I take first class and they give you free drinks completely free of charge.

2:31:36 They don't charge you like there's a cart that comes up and down the train

2:31:39 with snacks to all of the carts or all of the train carts, right?

2:31:44 But usually you have to stop them and go, "I would like a sandwich.

2:31:48 I would like a chocolate bar." And then you have to pay for it.

2:31:50 You have to scan your card to have the chocolate bar.

2:31:52 And they run past like snacks for everyone.

2:31:54 Would you like snacks?

2:31:55 And you eat your snacks, right?

2:31:56 Um in first class they're like, "Would you like wine?" Free wine.

2:32:00 Don't have to pay for it.

2:32:02 and they will offer you another glass of wine every 10 to 30 minutes.

2:32:07 It's crazy because after every stop,

2:32:10 new people hop on so the car comes through again.

2:32:12 That doesn't happen in the ordinary cars.

2:32:16 Yeah.

2:32:16 In the ordinary cars,

2:32:17 you get the it passes you like maybe twice in the whole journey,

2:32:21 but every time new people get on, they make sure

2:32:23 that you've had your chance to have a free drink.

2:32:25 So, they come by and they offer you wine.

2:32:29 And I don't want to drink wine on a train.

2:32:31 And I I have lots of things working against me.

2:32:33 I could miss my stop.

2:32:36 And you got the name right.

2:32:37 Wait, your name really is Meger?

2:32:41 That's awesome.

2:32:42 I was kind of worried that you might be Mebb Jr.

2:32:45 Anyway, um so with the with this the train,

2:32:49 I don't want to get drunk cuz I'll miss my stop.

2:32:51 So I took the apple juice.

2:32:53 I was like, "Oh, juice." And I completely forgot.

2:32:55 I don't know why, but apple juice kills me.

2:32:58 And so I drank one.

2:32:59 And I was choking on it, trying not to puke, just like, you know,

2:33:02 doing that thing where you puke a little and you swallow it back.

2:33:05 So like my throat and my stomach were playing ping pong with the apple juice.

2:33:08 And then they came by and they're like,

2:33:09 "Would you like some juice?" And I was like,

2:33:10 "Yeah, I'll take some juice." And I took

2:33:11 some more[ __] apple juice cuz I'm an idiot.

2:33:14 Slowly poisoning myself the whole way through.

2:33:19 But luckily, they had the bathroom right at the like it's next to the cart.

2:33:24 Like one of the other things I've noticed about First Glass quite

2:33:26 often they always have like a bathroom right there, right next to it.

2:33:29 So I go into the bathroom cart and I puke and then I come

2:33:33 out and while I was sat there um so it has a rotating door.

2:33:36 It's like a sphere.

2:33:37 It's like a circular toilet.

2:33:39 You go in, you press the button and the door goes in a round way and like

2:33:43 I look up once and there was just this guy who I don't know what he did.

2:33:47 I think he accidentally activated it whilst he was on his L,

2:33:50 but it went sh and I got the a glimpse

2:33:52 of someone's hairy legs and then it went did this again.

2:33:56 Also, there was just a random guy who went in there like four times.

2:34:01 I was like, "Wow, you really need the L,

2:34:03 huh?" And um he was like tall, slim, fabulous.

2:34:09 Um and like I was like, "Huh,

2:34:11 he's passing me a lot going to the L." Didn't really think too much of it.

2:34:14 Then one time I look up and a middle-aged man and that guy who's been

2:34:18 going to the bathroom a lot come out of the bathroom at the same time.

2:34:23 I like what?

2:34:27 Okay.

2:34:28 And I asked no more questions.

2:34:35 So like I've also learned from here on out if I

2:34:38 get the first class tickets I'm going to get you can choose.

2:34:41 You can pre-book.

2:34:42 You can choose everything about your ticket.

2:34:43 You can choose, do you want a window seat?

2:34:45 Do you want to face the way you're going or do you want to face backwards?

2:34:48 Do you want a table?

2:34:49 Do you want a table to yourself?

2:34:51 They have tables to yourself in first class.

2:34:53 So like normally in like the ordinary poor people class,

2:34:57 you there's four seats and they face each other with a table in between

2:35:01 and there's like a couple of those in the middle of every train.

2:35:04 So like most seats you don't get a table, you get a little foldout table,

2:35:08 but there's like two where there's like an actual real table.

2:35:11 And in first class, you can get a table to yourself

2:35:15 where you don't face anyone and no one sits with you.

2:35:18 Just one chair facing one table and then

2:35:22 there's a chair the back of the chair here.

2:35:26 Are we calling it pavo class?

2:35:28 Yeah, we'll call it pavoc class.

2:35:29 In pavo class, you would never have this many tables.

2:36:05 Do you fly first class as well?

2:36:07 No, I don't.

2:36:08 And I think the reason why is because I just

2:36:12 some of these first class tickets are like 15 grand,

2:36:17 like between £5,000 and £15,000 I've seen them go for.

2:36:21 And it's like that is enough money to put someone through college

2:36:25 and I'm only paying for a slightly more comfortable seat for a few hours.

2:36:29 And I can't justify that in my head.

2:36:31 Like even if I was a multi-millionaire,

2:36:34 like billionaire, if I was a multi-billionaire,

2:36:37 I don't think I could justify to myself not

2:36:40 spending that on something that changes things for the better.

2:36:43 Because the thing with uh economy class is it is a con.

2:36:48 So they make economy class as uncomfortable as possible

2:36:51 to torture you into paying for a better seat.

2:36:53 rather than just having good seats throughout the entire plane,

2:36:57 they will coersse you into spending

2:37:00 as much money as possible to avoid discomfort.

2:37:02 And that's all by design.

2:37:04 And I think that's really scummy.

2:37:06 And I don't I I don't want to be forced to do that.

2:37:10 And I don't want to be forced to spend enough money

2:37:14 to put someone through college on a[ __] slightly more comfortable seat.

2:37:21 I just don't want to do it.

2:37:22 I just cannot reason it.

2:37:41 Whereas like the price difference for a first

2:37:43 class train ticket isn't actually too bad.

2:37:46 And like say if it's like £100 to go to London on the train,

2:37:52 then it might be like £150 uh to 200 to go on a first class train.

2:37:59 And then that depends on what train you choose.