Season 1 vs Season 9 Val Scenes | Will & Grace

0:02 Hey, it's the elevator shantus.

0:07 I caught your act between floors 9 and

0:09 two.

0:10 Ah, all those years on the escalator

0:12 really paid off.

0:15 I'm Will, by the way.

0:16 Oh, I'm Val.

0:16 I just moved into 15F.

0:19 15F.

0:19 Nice apartment.

0:20 Good divorce lawyer.

0:22 Oh, sorry.

0:24 Was it messy?

0:25 Actually, it was.

0:26 You know what?

0:27 I'd really rather not talk about it.

0:29 just still sort of hurts my feelings a

0:31 little.

0:32 Oh, well, I'm I wouldn't have brought it

0:33 up if I if

0:35 Okay, I'm just kidding.

0:36 I'm kidding.

0:40 I'm kidding.

0:44 But no, actually, he was he was he was

0:46 just a real jerk, though.

0:47 You know, whenever we argued, he used to he used

0:51 to talk about himself in the third

0:52 person.

0:53 He'd be like, "Um, Val, Jerry

0:55 needs his space right now." now and I'd

0:56 be like, "Um, Jerry, Val's going to take

0:58 half your money right now."

1:02 Will wonders why Val married Jerry.

1:05 Well, as it turns out, I was a jackass

1:08 magnet.

1:08 But I've now been demagnetized,

1:10 so all the creepy guys just slide off of

1:12 me.

1:15 Oh, thank you.

1:16 Thank you.

1:17 You funny lady.

1:18 And you gay fella.

1:25 which actually kills me cuz you're so

1:27 cute.

1:29 What was the giveaway?

1:30 I guess the abundance of boxer briefs.

1:33 Ah, yes.

1:34 The homosexual is the leading

1:35 exponent of the underpant hybrid.

1:39 Hey, do you want to have dinner later?

1:41 You're probably busy or is that weird

1:43 that I just asked him?

1:44 No, no, no.

1:45 I just got cancelled on

1:46 actually for tonight.

1:46 You know, there's a there's a kosher Chinese place around

1:48 the corner.

1:49 Really?

1:49 Hey, man.

1:50 I could really go for

1:50 some mushu.

1:51 It wouldn't kill you to call

1:52 your mother.

1:56 Um, dirty linen shirts.

1:57 Uh, your ex-husband.

1:58 Things you take to the cleaners.

2:02 Yeah.

2:01 Okay.

2:01 Um, oh, egg whites, thoroughb

2:04 bread horses.

2:05 Um, James Brolan.

2:07 THINGS THAT ARE WHIPPED.

2:10 YEAH.

2:12 You guys are amazing.

2:13 Okay, I'm going to

2:14 total up your time.

2:15 Head up, buddy.

2:16 Yeah, that's generally what I mean when

2:17 I say I'm totaling it up, Rob.

2:20 Sorry, honey.

2:21 Oh gosh.

2:22 Hey, maybe a record will

2:25 record.

2:27 Record.

2:28 Hi.

2:30 Hi.

2:31 Hey.

2:31 Hey.

2:31 Hi.

2:32 Hey, guys.

2:32 What are you doing at home?

2:33 I thought you had to work.

2:34 Uh, yeah.

2:35 I I do.

2:36 I just came home to

2:37 change before my meeting.

2:38 We're playing pyramid.

2:40 I see.

2:41 You know, Will and I are

2:42 champions.

2:43 Oh, I don't know.

2:44 Grace, looks like you

2:45 got some competition.

2:49 I don't think so, Rob.

2:50 OH, I DON'T KNOW.

2:51 VAL IS AWESOME.

2:54 Remember the time that Will and I

2:55 finished an entire round in 2 MINUTES

2:57 AND 14 SECONDS?

2:59 OH, WOW.

3:01 HEY, GRACE, we're the same.

3:07 I'll get the soup for you.

3:07 I got it.

3:08 I'll do it.

3:08 I'm already doing it.

3:09 It's my bowl, my soup, my stove, my recipe.

3:11 My god,

3:14 my skin is burning.

3:16 Oh my god.

3:16 ARE YOU KIDDING?

3:17 WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO?

3:19 IT'S NOT FEED A COLD skull to fever.

3:25 Grace, can I say something to you?

3:26 And I I really I really mean this in the most

3:29 supportive way, but you seem very

3:32 threatened and insecure.

3:37 And I mean this in the most supportive

3:39 way.

3:39 Get out of my house, you wing nut.

3:44 Okay, I'll go.

3:45 But I just want to let

3:46 you know you have a little soup there on

3:47 your blow.

3:48 I got it.

3:53 Look what you did.

3:54 This was a really

3:55 expensive blouse.

4:04 Sorry you had a little bit of that

4:05 delicious split pee on your collar.

4:13 I'm so sorry.

4:14 I thought that was soup,

4:15 but I guess it was part of the pattern.

4:19 You know what?

4:20 This is crazy.

4:21 We We are grown, mature women here.

4:26 Yeah.

4:26 Crazy, right?

4:27 Okay, I'm going to get my

4:28 coat.

4:38 Once again, girl on girl action.

4:39 And it's totally lost on me.

4:44 Hey, hey, Gabrielle Zeta, break it up.

4:53 What is going on?

4:54 She started.

4:55 YOU DID.

4:57 NUH-UH.

4:56 OKAY.

4:56 OKAY.

4:57 NUH-UH.

4:58 Was just uttered by

4:59 an adult.

5:03 You're both taking a timeout.

5:04 Go to your corners.

5:05 GO ON,

5:09 PSYCHO.

5:07 HEY.

5:08 HEY.

5:11 What is wrong with you?

5:14 Nothing.

5:13 Well, fine.

5:14 I'll just go back to my room

5:15 and you took a workout in Thunderdome.

5:19 It's just that, you know, I've just been really busy and

5:23 I turned my back and I've been replaced

5:26 by that wreck.

5:29 It takes one to replace one.

5:35 Wait a Wait a minute.

5:36 Grace, are are you

5:38 jealous?

5:41 No.

5:42 Are you kidding?

5:43 Like I would be

5:44 like I would even Yes, I'm totally

5:46 jealous.

5:49 What are you looking at?

5:52 Okay, here we go.

5:54 My first ride as a lift driver.

5:57 The story begins.

6:06 Oh my god, it's Val.

6:08 Hi, Jack.

6:14 ow.

6:20 Right there.

6:20 Right there.

6:20 Right there.

6:21 Oh, right there.

6:36 I want to get hit by a car.

6:44 Hey, are you in pain or are you having a

6:46 good time?

6:48 My pain and pleasure centers overlap.

6:50 I'm in a medical journal.

6:53 Are you sure we can't take you to the

6:55 hospital?

6:55 It's the least we can do.

6:57 Actually, not running her over would

6:59 have been the least we could do.

7:02 I think I'll be okay.

7:15 Okay, honey.

7:16 How many zeros is it going

7:17 to take to make this thing go?

7:19 Guys, I don't want to talk about money

7:20 out here.

7:21 Come into my apartment.

7:23 We'll talk about it like normal people.

7:25 All right.

7:26 Come on, Jack.

7:28 Not you.

7:34 How's the oat straw tea?

7:36 Well, I guess it's okay if you enjoy the taste of

7:39 liquid foot.

7:41 You're a silly puss.

7:43 All right, honey.

7:45 This is my last offer.

7:47 Oh, Jiminy crackers.

7:50 But still, I I don't know.

7:52 All right, honey.

7:54 I see where this is

7:55 going.

7:55 You want to go beyond the wall

7:56 and see the white walkers?

8:03 Um Oh, no.

8:04 I I didn't mean that.

8:06 I I'm I'm sorry, Karen.

8:08 It's just really hard to set a price when it comes to

8:10 pain, you know.

8:11 You should know that.

8:13 What do you mean?

8:13 I'm not in pain.

8:16 Karen.

8:17 Belle.

8:18 Karen.

8:19 Belle.

8:20 Karen.

8:22 Belle.

8:24 Karen.

8:25 Belle.

8:27 You've experienced a loss, haven't you?

8:29 I have.

8:31 Yeah, I haven't really talked

8:34 about it, but Oh, God, this is so hard.

8:37 Okay, 6 months ago, my beloved housekeeper,

8:43 Rosario, died.

8:45 Ever since then, for the

8:47 life of me, I

8:50 I cannot find my cowboy boots.

8:54 Where are they?

8:57 I want to hear all about it, but I'm

8:58 just going to put another log on the

8:59 fire.

8:59 Hold on.

9:20 Oh my god.

9:22 Hello, Jack.

9:25 Bal,

9:24 what the f Murray Abraham, are you doing

9:26 in my apartment?

9:28 I could ask you the same thing.

9:29 It's my apartment, Jack.

9:31 OH,

9:31 I WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT TRAP.

9:33 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LIMP?

9:34 What happened to your limp?

9:35 I never had one.

9:36 I walked right into that trap.

9:39 What is this, VAL?

9:40 WHY DO YOU HAVE

9:41 PICTURES of me and Karen?

9:42 And why IS YOUR FACE ON MY BODY?

9:43 OH, that that that that was here when I

9:46 moved in.

9:48 Whatever scam you're running, it is over

9:50 when I tell Karen.

9:54 You're not telling anyone.

10:06 What the

10:07 Karen?

10:07 There is so much I need to tell

10:08 you.

10:09 Pause.

10:09 I love the braids.

10:10 Play.

10:13 VAL'S BEEN SCAMMING US.

10:14 LOOK AT THIS.

10:16 SHE KNEW I WAS A LIFT DRIVER.

10:17 SHE KNEW WHERE THE CAR WOULD BE, AND I'M PRETTY

10:19 SURE SHE JUMPED IN front of it.

10:21 Is this true, Val?

10:27 No.

10:27 Bal Karen.

10:29 Bal Karen.

10:34 Okay, I did it.

10:36 But I didn't do it for

10:37 your money.

10:37 I did it for your

10:38 friendship.

10:39 For my friendship?

10:42 Not for my money?

10:45 Okay.

10:45 What kind of sick game are you

10:48 playing?

10:51 It's just so hard to make friends after

10:53 college, you know?

10:57 Well, sure, but why me?

10:59 I mean, of all

11:00 the people you could Oh, no.

11:03 I get it.

11:06 I am the whole Vanam package.

11:10 You are.

11:11 And you're just so good to

11:12 Jack.

11:13 I just wanted a friendship like

11:15 that.

11:15 That's all.

11:16 Shouldn't there be an easier way?

11:17 I mean, couldn't we just make a lunch

11:19 date?

11:20 You'd really go to lunch with me.

11:21 Of course.

11:23 I mean, you're nuttier than a

11:24 tree full of squirrels, but

11:28 we do have the same blood type, and that

11:30 can come in handy.