The worst way to Break Up | RelationSh!t Advice ft. @Hoezaay @kaneezsurka007 @rohitraghvendra

0:38 Correct.

0:41 But you never know who you find.

0:42 You might, you might bump into someone at a library.

0:46 At this show.

0:47 Yeah.

0:47 For sure.

0:50 Any single guys?

0:55 Okay.

0:56 There's two women who just f** forcing his hand.

0:58 No, because like he's nice.

1:00 Yeah.

1:02 She's very pretty.

1:04 What's your name, bro?

1:06 Rohan, are you on any matrimonial website?

1:10 Sorry.

1:11 How old are you, bro?

1:12 How old are you?

1:13 28.

1:13 How old are you?

1:14 She's 28.

1:16 Woah.

1:18 Are you a manglik, bro?

1:22 Do your parents ask you if you're gonna settle down?

1:26 Yeah?

1:27 Wait, what's your name?

1:29 Kinjal and Rohan.

1:33 Kind of goes well, right?

1:36 Cool, cool, you all figure it out later.

1:38 This is getting boring.

1:39 I want them to get together.

1:40 Maybe.

1:41 Okay.

1:41 What do you wanna ask them?

1:42 I think we should maybe ask him if he wants to be in a relationship first?

1:46 Everyone is like, let's get him married.

1:49 Rohan, you wanna be in a relationship?

1:50 Rohan.

1:51 Are you open to seeing new people?

1:54 Okay.

1:57 Are you open to meeting Rohan?

2:02 You wanna get them on stage?

2:08 Come.

2:12 Come, come.

2:17 Okay.

2:18 Hello, hi.

2:19 Clap, clap, clap for them.

2:23 Come, come.

2:24 Kinjal, you stand here.

2:24 You stand here.

2:25 Okay.

2:26 What great sports for coming up on stage though.

2:31 You guys are so cool.

2:33 I didn't do this at my real wedding.

2:36 What's a red flag for you?

2:38 Yeah.

2:38 Okay, what are your three deal breakers?

2:41 Yeah.

2:43 Yeah.

2:43 Do you like cheating?

2:46 Great.

2:46 Tick.

2:49 Okay, cheating is a definite deal breaker.

2:50 Yeah.

2:51 Okay.

2:51 He knows what he doesn't want from a relationship.

2:53 Okay, what's your deal breaker?

2:54 What's your deal breaker?

2:58 Yes.

2:58 Queen.

2:59 Yes.

3:01 Do you wanna communicate the other two?

3:09 You gotta be decisive, man.

3:10 You are 28.

3:10 You've lived a life.

3:16 He looks like a yes ma'am he looks like he'd agree with whatever you're saying.

3:19 Yeah.

3:20 You got anything more?

3:21 What other deal breakers you have?

3:24 What your ex used to do?

3:29 Yeah?

3:29 He doesn't like cheating.

3:30 You also have been cheated on?

3:32 No.

3:35 Okay, what's your favourite colour?

3:38 What's your favourite colour?

3:43 Anybody from the navy here?

3:47 Would you go on a blind date with him

3:49 based on whatever the f** he said right now?

3:53 Like what?

3:56 What's interesting about you?

4:01 You play table tennis?

4:04 He plays the guitar.

4:12 It's..

4:12 it's a yeah.

4:17 Oh.

4:18 Okay.

4:20 So when she travels, you can play table tennis in the hotel.

4:24 What's your favourite food?

4:28 What's your favourite food?

4:29 Pulao, pulao.

4:31 Pulao.

4:34 Mountains or beaches?

4:37 Mountains or beaches?

4:39 Okay.

4:40 What did they say?

4:42 She said mountain also?

4:43 No, no, opposite.

4:44 Opposites attract.

4:49 It's fixed.

5:25 Kaneez, you you were on an episode very recently but I- Yeah.

5:29 but I had to ask you to come on before you went back to New York.

5:32 Yeah.

5:32 Thank you.

5:33 So how have things been?

5:34 One week after I came, I came on this show for the Valentine's show Correct.

5:37 So it was 14th of February and today is the 14th of it's the 19th it's..

5:48 I did talk to one guy from Raya.

5:51 Here's the thing with Raya I gotta tell you.

5:53 Yeah?

5:54 We have shaadi.com as a sponsor.

5:58 But that's Please don't talk about frivolous things.

6:04 I did talk to one guy from R** so it's basically like,

6:08 going to like an industry party you know, you go to these industry..

6:11 Jose goes to a lot.

6:14 Jose goes.

6:15 I've barely got here.

6:18 So basically, everyone wants to be seen there

6:20 but no one actually wants to connect with anybody.

6:22 Like, you know, you go to those parties oh, my God, Raunaq, hi.

6:25 How are you doing?

6:26 What the f** that's what you were doing?

6:27 Do you wanna hear the story?

6:29 Do you guys wanna hear the story?

6:30 Because I'm very proud of myself.

6:32 Because I met this guy and we were talking and the thing is I'm not like,

6:35 looking but I realised this guy I connected

6:37 with I actually connected with in 2020 during the pandemic.

6:40 But he lives— On this app?

6:42 On this app.

6:42 But he lived in New York and I hadn't made

6:44 the decision to move to New York at that point.

6:47 So I was like, no point continuing and then six years later we connected again..

6:51 and that should actually been a red flag

6:53 because why we are both single after six years?

6:57 And on this f** app?

6:59 Right.

6:59 But I was like, ohh this is cool.

7:00 Now I live in New York.

7:01 I can actually like meet him this time.

7:03 And I was like, do you remember he's like

7:05 I remember your face but I don't remember what happened.

7:07 And I was like, yeah, neither do I.

7:08 I don't know why we stopped talking.

7:09 Anyway, we started chatting and we are having

7:11 a really nice engaging conversation for two days.

7:15 Then suddenly in the middle of the conversation he just stops.

7:19 He died?

7:21 The end.

7:22 No.

7:24 The worst part about this stop is like,

7:26 you don't know the stop happened until like 25 minutes later.

7:29 Yeah.

7:30 Because I am like maybe he had to pee or maybe something- Correct.

7:32 I don't know.

7:33 You are just staring at your phone Yeah.

7:35 For so long.

7:36 Because we were in a flow and I was like,

7:37 okay fine fine, I am not going to be that person.

7:39 Three weeks later he messages me the reply to the question I asked.

7:43 So I replied I am so proud of myself

7:45 because usually I try to be cool I was like,

7:47 one second did you just try to pick up

7:49 a conversation that we were having three weeks ago?

7:52 Without any acknowledgment or no apology and I said nah, man that's wild hahaha.

8:00 Good luck with your apartment hunt.

8:02 So I played it cool.

8:03 I played it cool.

8:03 Thank you.

8:06 And then he replies apologies?

8:08 Question mark.

8:09 Nah.

8:11 Good luck to you too.

8:12 And I was like, you can't say nah after I said nah.

8:16 Because now you are just looking you look dumb.

8:18 Because if he said nah and then you said nah the next thing is what's my name?

8:25 Right.

8:26 So you kept doing this just nah.

8:28 It kept becoming nah, nah.

8:30 Na, na, na re.

8:33 I was very proud of myself guys, like..

8:35 you know.

8:39 Would you double text though?

8:40 Like What's a double text?

8:43 Yeah, what's a double text?

8:44 Double text in the sense if the person hasn't replied

8:46 you text back to check up on like, you know, hey.

8:47 Oh.

8:48 Oh.

8:49 I didn't double text.

8:50 I also didn't do that.

8:51 Thank you.

8:52 Oh, my God.

8:53 I did everything right.

8:54 Woah.

8:55 I don't send the first text only.

9:01 Wait, wait, wait.

9:02 I don't have a phone.

9:05 Kaneez is right though.

9:06 You shouldn't take shit from anyone.

9:08 Thank you.

9:08 Unless you're married to them of course.

9:12 No, so that's all that happened with regards to like,

9:15 men and relationships in the last two months.

9:18 Okay.

9:18 But my relationship with my parents is very good.

9:21 Can I— Okay.

9:21 Sorry.

9:23 And how is it with your with your Na-Na.

9:27 Sorry.

9:27 He passed away.

9:29 He died in 1999.

9:31 I am sorry.

9:33 Na-Ni?

9:38 I think Kaneez what if he did apologise?

9:40 Will you be like I take you back.

9:42 If he was like, I am very sorry, I got caught up.

9:44 Things happened.

9:45 I would be like, okay.

9:46 And if he does it again then I am like, naaah.

9:50 So now you feel like now you are properly being like okay, this is my time Yes.

9:55 Take it or leave it.

9:55 I don't have time for this I said it I

9:56 don't have time for this and I actually I'm honouring myself.

9:59 Which feels great.

10:01 This is the sixth clap you f** taken for this nah.

10:04 Just this..

10:08 no, it's it's a big deal.

10:09 These girls get it.

10:10 They get it.

10:11 When you evolve to that place Is my audience full of pushovers?

10:14 What's going on?

10:17 So then this person and you..

10:19 are never gonna talk again six years later..

10:21 I am not gonna talk to him.

10:23 But what if I bump into him?

10:24 I always think about that.

10:25 Because I am like, what if we bumped into each other?

10:27 Because when you show someone sass on text Exactly.

10:30 And then you..

10:31 what if I meet and like, at some industry party that Jose is at Hi.

10:36 Good evening.

10:37 Good evening.

10:37 Hi.

10:38 But have you ever done that though?

10:39 Just left someone on read and replied like, 3 weeks later.

10:42 Yeah.

10:42 Okay.

10:42 This is not about Hey!

10:46 Never.

10:47 I have never done that.

10:48 You are trapped, ma'am.

10:49 I've never done that.

10:50 I'm very shame, man.

10:51 They are gonna be anxious and like,

10:53 they are gonna like be thinking I don't wanna do that to somebody Okay,

10:56 but let's say you are chatting with someone and something came up,

10:59 so you gotta drop your phone do you come back after like, 10 hours and say Yes.

11:03 Yes.

11:03 Oh, sorry I was operating on a baby.

11:05 Hundred percent.

11:05 Every time.

11:06 Every time I operate on a baby I come back and I say I was operating on a baby.

11:10 That's very nice.

11:12 That's very noble of you.

11:13 Thank you so much.

11:13 This is amazing what the kids are up to these days.

11:17 But I think an explanation was one.

11:20 Yeah, he could've at least lied for your sake.

11:22 Three weeks three weeks is too long, right?

11:24 Yeah.

11:25 Guys.

11:26 Kaneez, they are not going to clap again.

11:27 Sorry.

11:29 They might.

11:31 Kaneez.

11:35 Guys, Modiji is going to make this show tax free if you all clap one more time.

11:44 How are things with you, Jose?

11:45 Shit.

11:47 Jose, come on.

11:48 So every time you come you keep saying you are married and you've a daughter.

11:52 I do.

11:52 That's why I'm saying it.

11:54 Right.

11:54 And then you also go for these industry parties.

11:58 Between these and industry parties,

11:59 and family there's very little time to come and do panel shows.

12:02 But I've come, Raunaq.

12:05 Thanks a lot for coming.

12:06 Just before getting here, I had a fight with my wife.

12:09 Oh, no.

12:10 Thank you guys.

12:11 Thank you.

12:12 You all don't even know me.

12:13 So that's kind of nice.

12:15 What did you guys fight about, bro?

12:16 I don't know if anybody else deals with this but in your relationship if you

12:19 ask your partner to do something and they

12:22 do the exact opposite does that happen?

12:24 Doesn't happen to me also.

12:25 So..

12:27 But if it did we would fight about it.

12:29 Can you please cite the example?

12:30 Don't keep that door open mosquitoes are coming in.

12:33 Yeah.

12:35 Yeah.

12:35 So then you left she left the windows open.

12:37 Yeah.

12:37 And then the mosquitoes came in like, I said.

12:40 Yeah.

12:41 Then what happened?

12:42 Then they bit me.

12:45 Jose, have you ever tried to go close the doors and windows yourself?

12:49 I have.

12:55 I was not at home at the time.

12:58 Kaneez.

12:59 Otherwise I would've closed it myself.

13:01 Then when I came home the mosquitoes were there.

13:03 Sorry.

13:03 My bad.

13:04 Okay?

13:05 So so this is this is what's happening.

13:08 You are outdoors.

13:09 You are just doing your own thing.

13:10 And out of nowhere you text your wife saying, hey, make sure the door is shut.

13:14 Because that that sensor that I've put

13:16 on the window I got a notification saying it's open.

13:20 It's a bit much to have a sensor, right?

13:22 Yeah.

13:22 So I forwarded those messages to her.

13:24 Directly from the sensor.

13:25 Oh, that's too passive aggressive.

13:28 Bro, what if you did it as I think I

13:31 think the neighbours' kids are opening the window from outside.

13:35 On the 15th floor.

13:37 Spider-Man's kids are coming.

13:39 Please be careful, baby.

13:42 No, now I am going to experiment with super glue.

13:44 For the windows.

13:45 So like if she closes it, she gets stuck?

13:47 What?

13:48 No, no, this is for the mosquitoes bro.

13:51 What about the mosquitoes net?

13:53 I've that too.

13:54 She left that also open.

13:58 No, they don't.

13:59 They don't bite her?

14:00 They choose certain people.

14:02 Thank you, Kaneez for supporting me on this part of the story.

14:05 Sorry.

14:08 I am trying to be but all this stuff happening is really getting me down.

14:18 Why didn't you use no, no,

14:22 I was saying The mosquitoes are smoking that repellant.

14:28 Sir, give us more.

14:32 You put kachua chaap the mosquitoes..

14:33 teabagging the kachua chaap.

14:36 Teabagging?

14:37 Bro.

14:41 None of that shit works.

14:42 You have to use the racket.

14:44 You've to use the racket.

14:45 Right.

14:45 Yeah, the racket.

14:46 Right.

14:47 Are you like that if she tells you to do something do you do it?

14:49 Immediately.

14:50 Yeah.

14:50 Immediately.

14:51 She says shut up no, she doesn't do that.

14:57 I am sure she does.

14:58 She just slaps me.

14:59 No, she doesn't do that either.

15:01 Baby, these are all jokes.

15:02 And this is a everything is fake in this show.

15:05 This is a correct ad for Good Night.

15:06 Correct.

15:07 Yeah.

15:08 Yeah.

15:09 They should call that Okay Night.

15:17 Is this a good night?

15:18 Yeah..

15:20 it's kind of okay.

15:22 Mid.

15:22 Mid night.

15:23 Yeah.

15:23 What do you do about gaining control as a man in a relationship?

15:27 No, there's no control.

15:28 You can't have control if you try to the more you

15:30 try to control it's like holding water and holding it tightly.

15:34 I read that on Instagram.

15:35 My ex mother-in-law told me that.

15:36 Yeah?

15:37 She's like, love is like water if you try to like, hold it,

15:40 it will just fall out of your hand but if you open your palm Correct.

15:44 It will stay.

15:45 What context did she say this to you in?

15:47 Did she just I was fighting with my ex husband at the time.

15:49 She got in the middle of the fight and she was like hey,

15:51 come on if you hold him too close that's my son you're talking about.

15:55 He's like water, okay?

15:57 That's weird, right?

15:58 Now I have now I look back and I've compassion for her.

16:01 Was she hot?

16:04 Raunaq.

16:04 I'm getting really uncomfortable with this great advice that you gave.

16:08 So I had to say something to break the tension.

16:12 I mean I don't know I'll show you a picture you can decide.

16:15 Guys, you wanna do it?

16:16 No.

16:17 No.

16:18 We are not Now they have turned.

16:20 Now they are back.

16:23 How are things with you, Rohit?

16:24 How are things with you in your relationship status, bro?

16:26 She is into she's in corporate.

16:28 9 to 5 job.

16:29 Perfect.

16:30 And yeah, it's a long-distance relationship.

16:32 How far do you guys live from each other?

16:34 Pune-Bombay.

16:37 It's not really long.

16:40 Not— yeah.

16:41 After Atal Setu I mean even Andheri-Bandra is..

16:44 I think I have like an unpopular

16:46 opinion that long-distance relationships are actually nice.

16:50 It's better than being close to that person all the f** time.

16:54 Because we don't end up fighting then.

16:56 Oh.

16:58 Yeah, yeah.

16:58 This is it's better, right?

17:01 Is this better?

17:01 Yeah.

17:02 It's water under the bridge.

17:03 The bridge is Atal Setu.

17:09 What's the worst relationship you've been in?

17:10 So I was in a long-term relationship back then.

17:13 Yes.

17:13 I was in a live-in back then and my only escape was Pune.

17:17 Where my parents lived.

17:18 So and covid was kind of getting really bad at around that time.

17:21 And I was like, babe, I'm going to Pune.

17:24 And—- This is Babe, I'm going to Pune.

17:27 How long how long were you guys a couple at this point?

17:31 3 years.

17:32 Oh.

17:32 3 years But then I had mentally checked out we've been fighting like,

17:35 crazy over stupid shit like,

17:37 I told her, I smoked and then we used to have a fight on that.

17:39 Like, why the f** you smoking?

17:41 I am like but you told me to be honest with you.

17:43 So I am telling you I smoked a cigarette.

17:45 I used to get shit also for that.

17:47 And if you are smoking keep the window open.

17:52 Covid was kind of getting back and my parents were like, come back.

17:54 F** this, come back for a while and she everyone

17:57 is going back to their respective cities right and she's like,

17:59 I'm not getting a flight from Bombay Where does she live?

18:03 Umm..

18:05 Kolkata.

18:06 Not even the Income Tax guys ask.

18:10 So then she was like I am going to take a flight from Pune.

18:13 And my parents kind of had an idea about her.

18:14 I was like, f** it whatever.

18:15 Come.

18:16 So she came next day lockdown happened.

18:23 Guys.

18:24 I am not kidding.

18:25 I am not kidding.

18:26 50 days.

18:28 She lived with me and my parents.

18:30 50 days.

18:31 Okay.

18:32 You've checked out.

18:32 She's also checked out?

18:34 No, she didn't check out.

18:36 Like, literally.

18:36 Did not check out.

18:37 She checked in.

18:38 It was once I didn't check out, dude.

18:40 And these 50 days I didn't know my mom counted, dude.

18:43 I didn't count.

18:43 Okay.

18:45 Mother-in-law was Water.

18:49 Mother-in-law was..

18:50 Then we broke up.

18:51 I broke up with her on my birthday it was like again like..

18:56 she brought something up, and the fight kind of went out of proportion

18:59 and then I broke up with her on my birthday.

19:00 15 days after that as she was there at my place so it was like really weird.

19:05 Wait, wait, wait, what?

19:07 What?

19:08 Yeah, 15 days after that was also like

19:09 So you broke up with her on your birthday?

19:11 Yeah.

19:12 But you must have thought that she's not leaving but you were still like,

19:15 okay, we're ending this.

19:16 It must be probably like a big fight.

19:17 Yeah, we ended it.

19:18 That's fair.

19:20 She said bye and came back.

19:24 No, but saying bye where will she go?

19:26 Correct.

19:26 Correct.

19:27 Because they were making people do sit-ups on the road.

19:29 Yeah.

19:30 It was technically a Bigg Boss house only you're

19:32 fighting there you've no way to go and stuff.

19:34 We're fighting there and Are you guys trying

19:37 to keep it subtle for the parents or what's happening?

19:39 Are you guys fighting?

19:40 Oh, yeah.

19:40 Yeah.

19:41 So the thing is like even though my parents knew about us

19:44 we used to sleep in separate rooms and all of that shit.

19:46 We are not in the same room.

19:47 We used to have a fight in the middle

19:48 of the f** dinning table and my mom is making dosas, okay?

19:51 And I really love dosas and I really wanna focus on dosa.

19:54 And she's crying on the dinning table please don't f** cry right now.

19:57 Just cry later let the dosas come I wanna eat.

20:00 So then she went to the washroom she's crying in the washroom and then like,

20:03 dosas came mom's like where the f** did she go?

20:05 And I am like she's coming back and then

20:07 in the room we used to fight Can I ask you?

20:09 Can I ask you?

20:11 Did you not want her to cry because your mom was

20:12 there or you don't want her to cry because of the dosas?

20:18 Because I'm still stuck on that.

20:20 See just because she's crying doesn't mean like, yeah, she's right.

20:24 I don't want to put a picture like that it was

20:26 just a fight and she was very emotionally like you know.

20:29 Charged.

20:30 Like one would be in a fight, okay.

20:31 Right?

20:32 So she used to breakdown very easily and my dad used

20:35 to walk in, every f** time and then I am like,

20:37 please turn just turn and cry like just don't cry in front of him.

20:40 That's how we used to avoid this whole 15 days' emotional drama.

20:44 Okay.

20:44 And finally she went.

20:47 She went away.

20:48 Yeah.

20:49 I am just imagining her watching this episode.

20:55 They were so nice to me.

20:55 The dosa was amazing.

20:59 Cool.

20:59 So that was the worst relationship.

21:00 Yeah.

21:01 Okay.

21:02 Yeah.

21:03 I mean, yeah.

21:06 Yeah, I think that was— How did it end?

22:06 Wow.

22:07 I feel he should use up the rest up of the emergency fund and go on a vacation.

22:12 Yeah.

22:13 Before his mental spiral.

22:14 So..

22:18 we've a joint future fund for when they wanna get married.

22:22 Is that a sweet thing?

22:22 That's sweet.

22:23 That's sweet.

22:24 You think that buying a luxury handbag is misuse of money?

22:27 Yes.

22:28 Yes.

22:28 Of course.

22:29 From a joint fund, definitely yes.

22:31 I feel like they should have not have that rule about not questioning.

22:35 That's a fair rule.

22:36 You can't have no questions in a relationship.

22:38 How do you do that?

22:39 Imagine she had a bad day at work right?

22:40 Is that what she said?

22:41 Yeah.

22:42 Sheetal, why is this Excel sheet not ready?

22:44 Sorry, sir, sorry, sir.

22:46 Hello, Gucci.

22:50 Yeah, yeah.

22:51 Get me two.

22:54 Have you ever bought something to make yourself feel better?

22:56 Yeah.

22:57 I get an ice cream, man.

22:58 To make myself feel better.

22:59 So what do you think she bought?

23:00 Let's for the sake of the argument, fix on one bag.

23:04 What is the cheapest luxury bag, you can buy?

23:06 Michael Michael Kors.

23:09 Yeah.

23:10 Michael Kors?

23:10 Coach or something.

23:11 Is Aldo expensive?

23:12 Aldo's not luxury.

23:14 What if he thought Aldo is a luxury bag?

23:19 Okay, is a non-luxury bag allowed?

23:22 No.

23:23 No bag is allowed.

23:24 No.

23:25 You are at Reliance Fresh.

23:27 You bought all the fruits.

23:29 You need 14 rupees for a bag.

23:31 Is that allowed?

23:32 If you are taking Rs 14 from a joint fund there's seriously a financial crisis.

23:39 And that too secretly.

23:40 Don't ask me about that 14 rupees.

23:42 It was an emergency.

23:43 Couldn't take the fruits home.

23:45 We are clear on the fact that it seems frivolous to buy yourself

23:48 just it feels like what's allowed outside

23:50 of emergency what's allowed to spend on?

23:53 Gas.

23:55 Gas?

23:56 But you can just take an Eno or something.

24:01 No, like cooking gas.

24:02 Oh, like buying a cylinder from the black market.

24:05 Yeah.

24:06 See then you can still get induction.

24:07 How do you guys do finances?

24:08 Do you when you're in a relationship, When I was, When you were married.

24:13 When I was married.

24:13 How did you guys do money?

24:15 We didn't have a joint account like I would I was on the Week That Wasn't

24:21 and I would make like money for the month

24:23 then that money would cover the house expenses Correct.

24:25 So I pay for the house expenses and then he paid for like, maybe bigger amounts.

24:29 Okay.

24:30 Like, flight tickets.

24:31 Or rent.

24:32 Yes.

24:33 Yeah, then we got divorced yeah.

24:35 So when you got divorced, you were like, I'm doing my own thing I'm paying

24:37 for house expenses and I've no house to expense.

24:40 Once we got divorced, there was no..

24:42 we just got divorced.

24:43 There was no money exchange or conversation.

24:45 Oh, let's go.

24:47 But do you think having a Splitwise account

24:49 as a couple Is that a red flag behaviour?

24:55 As a couple as a couple.

24:58 Can you have a Splitwise account?

24:59 Do you think that's okay?

25:01 I think it's fair to start with Splitwise.

25:04 And then the most romantic day is when you decide to drop the Splitwise.

25:08 How sweet.

25:09 How sweet.

25:10 I am so sorry.

25:10 What is a Splitwise?

25:11 What is this?

25:12 Same.

25:14 There are no bad questions, guys.

25:16 All questions are good.

25:18 What is a Splitwise?

25:19 It's an account when you are in college, you go out with your friends,

25:22 and then you spend all the money

25:23 and then you send your friends a request saying,

25:25 hey, you owe me 255 you owe me 250.

25:27 It's a repayment app.

25:28 And they are like, f** a** You're like, f** my money is gone.

25:36 Both of you?

25:37 Let's go.

25:39 Let's go.

25:40 Nice.

25:40 Let's go.

25:41 Okay, tell me one thing if at any point,

25:43 the repayment is going on for too long how do you bring it up?

25:54 See the defaulter lives there only.

25:59 They can't run away.

26:00 What's the current He locks the door.

26:03 You can't get out.

26:05 Send the money.

26:06 What's the current score?

26:07 Who owes whom what?

26:13 That's cool.

26:19 Oh, you really use Splitwise?

26:21 Oh for real?

26:22 I thought you were like, that's a good idea.

26:24 Guys, I gotta tell you you're bringing up another app.

26:26 We're talking about shaadi.com.

26:28 This is on the desktop.

26:31 I think when you were a kid, it was different.

26:36 Okay, okay.

26:36 Okay, you were telling that you got you both use Splitwise.

26:47 I am the same age, dawg.

26:48 Yeah.

26:49 I have never f** Splitwised anybody.

26:58 Yeah.

26:58 Any of my friends who send me a Splitwise, I am like, f** don't call me again.

27:02 Yeah.

27:03 I hate..

27:05 I think..

27:06 I am sorry.

27:06 I hate Splitwise.

27:07 I hate owing friends or friends owing me.

27:09 I just say today I paid, tomorrow you pay then don't talk.

27:13 F** tell me, hey, 366 rupees for using badminton court.

27:17 F** off.

27:18 Yeah, yeah, no, no.

27:19 F** off.

27:20 F** cheap f** But it's good that you guys do this.

27:31 Do you have trust issues or something?

27:34 Marriage is not balanced, Raunaq.

27:36 You know this.

27:37 So it doesn't matter I mean I am sure some expenses are more,

27:40 some are less, right?

27:40 Yeah.

27:41 Like, he paid for the window sensor and nobody acknowledged it after that.

27:49 In my relationship, when I am paying a big amount, right?

27:52 She could say split it but she gives me cash, dude.

27:57 I don't want cash.

27:58 Like, what will I do with 20,000 cash?

28:00 Has she never watched Dhurandhar?

28:03 What the hell is she doing?

28:04 What the hell is she doing, dude?

28:07 She gives you cash.

28:08 Cash, dude and I am like, I don't use cash.

28:11 You don't like the appeal of having cash on you?

28:13 Yeah, cash is cool.

28:14 Yeah, I like the appeal of having cash on you.

28:16 It looks cool but Gpay is more convenient I feel.

28:18 Yeah.

28:19 I get what you're saying.

28:35 What internship is this?

28:37 That's pretty generous for the internship, right?

28:39 Yeah, what the hell?

28:41 Unpaid internship for 3 years.

28:42 Yeah.

28:43 What the f** For what?

28:47 See.

28:48 For what?

28:49 For what?

28:51 I think giving it paying someone back in cash is a good it's a good look.

28:57 Yeah.

28:58 F** off.

28:59 That's a good look.

29:00 Taking change is not cool.

29:03 When you guys were dating, how did you guys do money?

29:05 So it was so long back, we would do demand drafts.

29:18 Bro, that's actually a damn good way to pay your partner back.

29:22 Write a cheque.

29:23 Write a cheque.

29:24 That's cool.

29:24 Then your boyfriend has to call you the next day, saying it bounced.

29:29 Because the signature doesn't match.

29:31 Funny story my first cash I ever earned,

29:33 was an internship I did for my ex-girlfriend's dad.

29:36 You..

29:37 okay, was she your girlfriend while you were..

29:39 Yeah, yeah.

29:39 What?

29:41 No, no, this was in Bombay.

29:43 Was the internship being her boyfriend?

29:47 Was that— No, no, that was a job.

29:51 Like— That's a full-time job.

29:54 That's a full-time job.

29:55 But then yeah, so he gave me a cheque.

29:58 He gave me a cheque.

29:59 And that was the first money I earned doing anything.

30:03 You earned it.

30:04 I edited some video for him.

30:06 So I was like, I got money You edited a video for him.

30:08 You got some money.

30:09 That's good, bro.

30:10 How much do you charge for editing?

30:11 I didn't— Okay, before we move on, I am going

30:15 to give a quick shoutout to the sponsor of this episode.

30:18 shaadi.

30:19 com.

30:23 You know on this f** show we keep

30:25 on doing free advertisements for all these f** apps.

30:29 And we've done enough for shaadi.com also.

30:43 It's him only, right?

30:46 Because I don't wanna do an ad for these guys.

30:47 If you wanna do an ad, shaadi.com, you gotta pay me.

30:49 Right?

30:51 They should pay.

30:53 And you also?

30:56 Great job, guys.

30:57 Getting people married and all.

31:00 shaadi.com is India's number 1 matrimonial website as you already know.

31:06 Wow.

31:08 So shaadi.com has sent us some interesting data about match-making in India.

31:14 Alright?

31:14 Oh, interesting.

31:15 Okay.

31:16 And I decided we should make a fun game out of it.

31:20 I am going to ask you questions based on data that shaadi.com is given me.

31:23 And you're gonna win, prizes.

31:29 Which day of the week on shaadi.com do you have a chance of getting 2x matches?

31:35 Thursday.

31:36 You got the wrong answer.

31:37 What did you wanna say?

31:38 Tuesday?

31:39 No.

31:40 No.

31:42 Who said Sunday?

31:43 Let's go.

31:44 Give it to that guy.

31:48 There you go, brother.

31:49 You got shaadi.com one year's free premium membership.

31:55 Which profession gets the most matches?

31:59 Electrician.

32:00 What are you saying?

32:01 Doctor.

32:02 No.

32:02 Doctors is a wrong answer.

32:03 Even I thought that.

32:04 What did you say?

32:05 Banker.

32:05 No, not banker.

32:06 What did you say?

32:07 IT, yes.

32:08 She said, IT.

32:09 IT is correct.

32:11 Which country has the most NRI profiles?

32:15 What did you say?

32:16 USA.

32:17 Yes.

32:17 USA.

32:19 Okay.

32:20 What percentage of shaadi.com profiles are made by parents for their kids?

32:27 What did you say?

32:28 69%?

32:32 And it's 20%.

32:34 There's somebody who said 25, right?

32:35 You said 25?

32:36 Okay, you take this.

32:37 Here you go, big round of applause.

32:46 What are the options, sir?

32:47 Please, options.

33:02 Jhansi.

33:02 No.

33:03 Then it's Mumbai.

33:06 Okay.

33:06 It is Madurai.

33:07 But what are you gonna do with it?

33:10 Okay, cool.

33:10 You know what take this.

33:11 It's yours.

33:12 Okay.

33:12 Thank you very much.

33:14 It's Madurai.

33:15 Madurai.

33:16 Wow.

33:17 I'm gonna set my Instagram location to Madurai.

33:20 Okay.

33:21 It's a joke, baby.

33:22 It's just a joke.

33:22 F** Very interesting stats.

33:25 I must say.

33:26 Yeah, these are I mean..

33:27 they are pretty cool stats.

33:32 People at shaadi.com know exactly who they are and what they want.

33:35 The clarity and intent is what makes

33:37 their search easier and the connection stronger.

33:41 Single people out there download shaadi.com now.

34:51 Wait.

34:52 Let her finish.

34:55 They are like, yes.

34:57 No.

34:58 Hurry up.

35:00 Hearing Pitra Dosh, everyone is like yeah, f** off bro.

35:02 Like, f** Is Pitra Dosh that bad?

35:06 But what if he marries a tree first then it goes away, right?

35:09 That's manglik.

35:10 Oh.

35:11 That's manglik.

35:11 Pitra Dosh is Again I am Muslim.

35:15 But this is not this is not a Hinduism or Islam.

35:18 This is science.

35:22 I think that it's a little unfair if some f** astrologer said- Yeah.

35:33 What has my show become?

35:36 Okay, did you have Pitra Dosh?

35:45 Generational trauma.

35:46 You pay for the sins of your father?

35:50 First of all I wanna tell you how convenient for the forefathers.

35:56 I want to do all the things now and then just not worry about it.

35:59 I'll Pitra Dosh the next guy.

36:01 Forefather is like, somebody did something really

36:02 good before so let me steal now.

36:07 The guy wants to break up?

36:08 Would you think he's like he's a crazy boy.

36:16 Why do I feel like you've done something like that?

36:19 The conviction in his answer.

36:21 Have you done something like this, bro?

36:23 Tell us.

36:29 That's fine.

36:39 So you blamed it on your mother.

36:41 So Matra Dosh.

36:44 I know that when you are when the whole

36:47 thing about marrying a tree is that when you are

36:51 mangalik you put on you marry a tree and tree

36:53 gets all the bad luck Or the bad karma.

36:55 The tree is the first partner See I know part of it.

36:58 And then they say the tree dies.

37:00 Because- Yeah.

37:01 So then instead of like,

37:04 all the protestors standing outside Aarey colony what if all

37:06 the mangliks went and married The trees would die, Raunaq?

37:14 Yeah.

37:15 So the government wins in that way.

37:17 By making..

37:17 and the mangaliks also win.

37:20 The protestors are just confused.

37:24 What other doshs are there?

37:25 There's manglik.

37:26 There's Pitra Dosh.

37:26 What other bad luck is there?

37:29 Saade Sath.

37:30 What is Saade Sath?

37:31 7:30.

37:32 7:30?

37:35 Saade Sath.

37:38 Okay, yes the one in Mujhse Shaadi Karogi he says.

37:42 He will have Shani for 7 years.

37:45 Oh 7.5?

37:47 I've 6 more months?

37:59 Mine is not getting over.

38:02 Got it.

38:03 It's been 14 years.

38:04 Got it.

38:04 So then you get Your wife was the good thing that you got.

38:06 I married her and she got the bad luck.

38:10 Yeah, you are mangalik, bro.

38:13 Yeah.

38:14 He's Catholic.

38:22 Very nice.

38:25 What if he's like one of those psycho,

38:27 insecure people who is like let's put this test.

38:30 If she still loves me after that that means it's good.

38:33 You know I was watching a movie last night Jackie

38:35 Shroff's called 'Aaina' And he tested her in the movie

38:39 and the test was he drove in the car

38:41 and he's driving off a cliff he's going very fast.

38:44 And then she jumps— Who is he testing?

38:45 Who is the girl?

38:45 Amrita Singh.

38:46 Okay.

38:47 Because she already left him once before.

38:49 And then she came back.

38:50 Wow.

38:50 So he was testing her and he's on the cliff

38:53 and he's driving very fast and she's like no, stop, stop, stop.

38:56 And then eventually she gets out of the car

38:59 and then he brakes and his car turns and then

39:01 he comes out he's like I was testing you

39:04 to see if you would stay with me in the car.

39:08 And you failed the test.

39:09 Totally normal things to do with your..

39:12 So..

39:13 Do you still love me, baby?

39:14 I tried to kill you.

39:16 So that's why they broke up?

39:18 But you should watch the whole movie.

39:20 Spoiler alerts.

39:21 Hey, no spoilers.

39:22 I promise you, I'm never gonna watch Aaina.

39:24 There's never going to be a day in my life

39:26 I will stop looking in the mirror after this.

39:28 Tell me the spoiler.

39:29 Basically, like they were in love then she left him

39:32 to go become a movie star and then her sister married him.

39:35 Oh, okay.

39:36 And then she came back and she's trying to get him back.

39:38 And then he tested her to see if she actually really loved him.

39:41 And she didn't What about the sister?

39:43 Oh, she was singing some sad song at home.

39:47 Because they were doing some test together on the cliff.

39:49 Is this like a regular day in your life?

39:50 Do you watch like old Jackie Shroff movies?

39:52 Is this is this like a There are good movies you guys should check it.

39:55 They are fine.

39:56 I kind of wanna watch it now.

39:57 Yes, it's really good.

39:59 I think Jackie Shroff has it out for all the mangaliks killing the trees?

40:03 Because he's like, very pro plants and shit.

40:08 Do you guys think that this could be possible that he's just trying to break up?

40:11 It could be.

40:12 It could be.

40:12 Has anybody lied like this?

40:13 I have a wildest story to this break up, I mean another relationship.

40:17 That you were in?

40:19 Yeah.

40:19 Basically, me and my best friend we..

40:21 so there's this girl who liked me Yes.

40:24 Right?

40:24 I didn't like her back.

40:26 But my best friend he liked her best friend.

40:29 And the girl likes you.

40:31 Yeah.

40:31 So me and my best friend.

40:32 We went on a double date basically, right?

40:35 Because I knew that he liked her.

40:37 I am like, f** it because the girls are also best friends let me just go- Cute.

40:40 Yeah, yeah.

40:40 Right.

40:41 Right.

40:41 So then he takes me aside, he's like, if you ask her out, I'll ask my girl out.

40:46 Yeah.

40:47 Right.

40:47 And I was like, bro,

40:49 I don't even like her but you know what for you, I'll do it.

40:52 What?

40:53 I'll do.

40:54 Just like a date, yeah.

40:55 You know what, f** it, I'll do it.

40:56 The car is speeding, I am not getting off.

40:59 Yeah.

40:59 I'll do it.

41:00 You know because he was my best friend and I was like, I'll do it, man.

41:02 If that makes you— and if that makes you ask her out, sure.

41:06 Right?

41:06 And I take like my girl aside and he takes his girl, his crush aside.

41:10 And he's asking her out and I asked this girl out.

41:13 And then I could see that he's asking her out,

41:14 and I'm like f** finally, at least they are dating or whatever.

41:17 Then 15 minutes later he takes me aside and he's like,

41:21 bro I was I didn't ask her out I just wanted you to ask her out.

41:26 Like an a** I have asked someone out I didn't wanna date he didn't ask her out.

41:30 And I had to date this girl for 6 months.

41:32 You didn't have to date her.

41:35 For 6 months.

41:37 You didn't have to date.

41:37 You did not.

41:38 Come on, Rohit.

41:39 She said, she'll think about it.

41:40 She was in..

41:40 she had her board exams.

41:42 I didn't wanna break up with her so then I kind

41:45 of let the exams get through and then I broke up.

41:47 That's sweet.

41:48 He's non-confrontational basically.

41:51 He's like, it's been a year sorry.

41:53 So in that scenario saying that my mother is not happy with us.

41:57 Yes.

41:57 Could be ideal.

42:00 Give her the mic.

42:08 But what if she— What's his name?

42:32 What is the cheapest luxury bag you can buy?

42:34 Michael..

42:35 Michael Kors.

42:37 Yeah.

42:38 Or Coach or something.

42:39 Is Aldo expensive?

42:40 Aldo is not luxury.

42:42 It's not.

42:43 Aldo is not luxury.

42:44 That's fast fashion.

42:45 Prestige?

42:47 Prestige?

42:47 What brand is Prestige?

42:48 The pressure cooker.

42:53 Hanging the pressure cooker.

42:56 Removing some change from it.

42:57 Dangling around ching-ching.

42:59 It's a category luxury, prestige, fast fashion Colaba Causeway.