Stop Wasting Your Life (Not Just Your Time)

0:00 What's the biggest mindset shift you've seen separating the people

0:04 who actually break through [music] from the ones who stay stuck?

0:10 You know, Tony's really good at saying when people say,

0:13 "How long does it take to quit smoking?" People say,

0:16 "Oh, it took me 7 years to quit smoking." Did

0:22 it really take 7 years or did it take 1 second?

0:25 It took 7 years of thinking about quitting

0:27 [music] smoking and 1 second to go, "Enough.

0:31 It's over.

0:32 I'm done." There's a situation.

0:37 There's a circumstance out of your control.

0:40 [music] You're in a job for 14 years.

0:41 You know it's robbing your soul.

0:43 And for the last four,

0:45 every morning you wake up and think to yourself, "I'm done with this job.

0:49 I hate it." But you still go.

0:53 Two things could happen.

0:55 One, you go to this job you hate and they fire you.

1:00 You have no choice.

1:01 Decisions have to be made, true?

1:03 I have to make a decision.

1:04 I have to do something [music] different.

1:05 I just got fired and sometimes we get that blessing, right Amy?

1:08 Where you go, "That's a sign from God, the universe.

1:11 I'm going to try my own thing." Sometimes decisions,

1:16 if you look at the biggest ones you make, [music]

1:18 you really didn't have control of it.

1:19 You're in a relationship that you're not sure is good then

1:21 you come home one day and the other person says it's over.

1:24 You got to deal with it.

1:26 This path will lead me to a life is not meant for me.

1:31 I think the biggest regret in life,

1:32 think the worst thing that could happen to any of us,

1:35 is to get to the end of our life and realize we missed it.

1:38 Sometimes that that brain comes in and I'm like,

1:41 "At the end of [music] my life, looking back,

1:43 what would I say to myself?" If you got to the end

1:46 of your life and you realize you didn't make that decision.

1:50 You didn't shift your mindset.

1:51 You didn't say enough.

1:52 You didn't decide to say no or you didn't decide to say yes and you missed it.

1:58 And your maker played you a video of the person [music] you could have been.

2:03 What would be your number one wish?

2:05 What would be your wish?

2:05 If you got to the end of your life

2:06 and realize you played small and your maker said to you,

2:08 "All right, you got one wish.

2:09 What would it be?" To go back and back.

2:12 And you know what I always say?

2:13 Wish granted.

2:17 Wish granted.

2:20 [music]

2:18 We're here.

2:19 Mhm.

2:20 Let's start today.

2:21 If you were there, you'd say, "Please let me go back." Boom, we're here.

2:24 We're back.

2:25 Let's go.

2:27 As a kid, I remember I think I heard that in church.

2:29 It's like, "What are you doing when no one's watching?" And it's so true.

2:33 I mean, that follows you throughout your whole life.

2:37 And it's it's the the Isn't that really who we are today?

2:41 Yes.

2:41 Right?

2:42 If you think about it, you and I have talked about this.

2:44 When people say their values or their character, let's use the word character.

2:47 Character is really just who we are when no one's watching.

2:51 [music]

2:50 Right?

2:50 If you're on social media and you're like, "I love my wife.

2:53 You're amazing." But then

2:56 [music] I'm looking at DMs on the side in my Instagram of other pretty girls,

2:59 then I'm full of crap.

3:01 Right?

3:01 Cuz nobody's watching.

3:04 Right?

3:05 If I say I love my partner Tony

3:06 Robbins and behind his back I'm making side deals,

3:09 then I'm really the side deal guy.

3:10 Or I'm really the guy that would be unfaithful.

3:12 Like we we really are our character is who we are when no one's watching.

3:17 Question two.

3:19 How do you know the difference between pushing through resistance

3:22 and knowing it's time to pivot and start something new?

3:25 There is this fine balance of quitting too soon.

3:28 Sometimes we don't realize that we don't recognize the joy [music]

3:33 of the lessons we learn from it,

3:36 from going deeper, even in something we don't like.

3:40 [music] How you do one thing is how you do everything.

3:43 But what if you said instead of I I shouldn't be here.

3:46 I'm supposed [music] to be doing this.

3:48 What if your brain said, "Oh, this is [music] just part of the journey.

3:52 I have to do this in order to get there." And if you think to yourself,

4:01 "I'm not here forever.

4:02 But while I'm here, I'm going to make everybody around

4:04 me sick because I'm going to love what I do.

4:06 I'm going to kick ass what I do.

4:08 And when I'm at the peak of this, I'm going to bail and go

4:10 do my own thing." If you're torturing yourself year after year of hating it,

4:16 then just give yourself a deadline.

4:18 Right?

4:18 I'm in this career that I don't like or I'm

4:20 in this relationship I don't like and just say,

4:22 "Hey, I'm going all in for 6 months.

4:25 I'm going to make it look like I Like they're not going

4:27 to recognize me at my job cuz I'm going to come in early.

4:30 I'm going to light it up, but I'm only here for 6 months.

4:32 And in that 6 months, I'm going to skip these five things and I'm

4:36 going to spend the time launching my coaching

4:38 program or getting started with this new business

4:40 or getting clients or getting my social media to go.

4:43 And in 6 months from today, [music] it's over.

4:45 It's done.

4:46 It's not a dabble.

4:47 It's a commitment.

4:48 Listen, I didn't quit.

4:50 I started with cars.

4:51 I didn't quit doing cars until my real estate

4:53 business made me more than the car business did.

4:56 Then I quit, got out of the painting.

4:57 Then I started educating people on how to invest in property like I do.

5:02 I didn't quit.

5:03 I never quit investing,

5:04 but I didn't I didn't quit at being my full time and I didn't go

5:08 all in on teaching people until the teaching

5:10 business made more than the real estate business.

5:17 Okay, number three.

5:18 Is there a simple way someone can honestly evaluate whether what they're doing

5:22 is actually moving them forward or they're just or just keeping them busy?

5:28 You have to measure.

5:30 You have to keep score.

5:31 Where was I 3 months ago?

5:33 Where was I 3 weeks ago?

5:34 And am I moving forward?

5:35 Am I Am I making progress?

5:37 Doesn't mean Not perfection, progress.

5:41 You have to measure what actually moves the needle.

5:43 Don't measure work.

5:46 Measure productivity [music] and moving towards the goal that you want.

5:51 You might be great at creating your coaching curriculum.

5:55 You might be great and go,

5:56 "I built the most beautiful thing and the most beautiful

5:59 logo and I have my 12 session session coaching program.

6:02 I went back and forth with GG or Chad or Claude.

6:04 I dialed it in.

6:05 It's freaking amazing.

6:07 I am making progress." True.

6:11 But when that's done, where is the part that you're holding back on?

6:15 Letting people you know just start telling everybody that you

6:17 are a coach now and you want to do it.

6:19 Starting to put on your social media.

6:24 You got to measure the uncomfortable because sometimes our brain just goes,

6:27 "Well, I built the curriculum.

6:28 I built the site.

6:29 I did the thing.

6:29 I did that thing.

6:30 I know my ideal client.

6:32 I'm going to do the thing." It's like, "Yeah,

6:33 but did you put [music] Did you reach out to anybody?

6:35 Make any calls?

6:36 Try to set an appointment to get your first Well, who Hold on a second."

6:43 [laughter] Right?

6:42 You have to measure those things.

6:45 You got to know if you're winning or losing and you got to measure the areas,

6:48 especially the areas that you've been hesitant on.

6:52 We're all uncomfortable when something is new.

6:55 It's okay to be uncomfortable.

6:56 Just do the stuff that you've been putting off.

7:00 Okay, number four.

7:02 What are you watching people make way

7:04 too complicated that if they just simplified it,

7:07 it would completely change their results?

7:10 Our brains love to make things complicated.

7:13 Looking at all of it is what freaks you out.

7:15 Like if if I if I use If I use AI as an example, oh my god.

7:19 If you go online for 5 minutes,

7:21 click on one AI training and then your algorithm knows that you clicked on one.

7:27 Oh my goodness.

7:29 You will get served a gazillion of them

7:33 and everyone makes you feel like you're stupid,

7:35 falling behind, never going to catch up, I'm too old for this stuff.

7:38 How does this work?

7:39 I didn't grow up with technology.

7:41 Right?

7:41 It's like, "Ew, all you got to do is get a Mac Mini and use Claude Bot and then

7:44 it does the thing." And then you see all

7:45 these breakdowns and you plug it into your workflow.

7:48 It works like six people.

7:49 You're not doing it, you're dumb.

7:50 If you are, you're cool.

7:51 And you're like, "Ah." And you start thinking of all these things

7:54 you got to do with AI and it becomes so overwhelming.

7:59 Like anything in life, chunk it down.

8:02 One clear path.

8:03 One step at a time.

8:05 And then just overcome one constraint at a time.

8:12 One constraint at a time.

8:13 One problem.

8:14 One thing [music] you have to overcome at a time.

8:16 So if you know, I want to get to, you know, it's Kaizen.

8:19 One step at a time.

8:20 You know the end result, but you can't look at all of it at the same time.

8:23 You know, it's why New Year's resolutions don't work.

8:25 I'm going to stop drinking soda.

8:27 I'm going to stop eating sugar.

8:28 I'm going to eat three good meals a day.

8:30 I'm going to increase my protein.

8:31 I'm going to work out 5 days a week.

8:32 You look at all of it.

8:33 By week two, you're like,

8:35 "I can't do all this Give me a piece of bread and a soda,

8:37 please." But what if you just said, "January, January,

8:42 I'm going to walk every other day." That's it.

8:48 February, I'm going to walk every other day and I'm cutting out bread.

8:53 March, no bread, no sugar, walk every day.

8:57 April, weights 3 [music] days a week.

9:00 So one piece at a time.

9:02 One constraint at a time.

9:07 Okay, what are the two or three things you

9:09 would tell them to go all in right now?

9:12 We must truly identify the goal.

9:16 If you said, "Hey, I want 90 days." I think most of our brains say,

9:20 "What do I need to do for the next 90 days?" If I

9:24 look what to do cuz there's so much going on in our lives.

9:26 So, the thing I would do is pick one thing

9:29 and then [music] identify that goal down to the specifics.

9:34 So, before you write the how, you're going to write two chapters.

9:38 But more clarity.

9:39 What What two chapters are you going to write?

9:42 What is the outcome of those two chapters?

9:44 [music] How are people going to feel after they read these two chapters?

9:49 I want to be so proud of these chapters that they're

9:51 the two best chapters I've ever written in my entire life.

9:55 I'm just You know, you hear me say that fuzzy

9:57 targets don't get I want to write two chapters.

9:59 What does that mean?

9:59 Is it the first two, the last two, the middle two?

10:01 Where are they going to be in sequence?

10:03 Then once you have this big goal that you stare at, the end in mind,

10:06 then reverse engineer what you have to accomplish to make that happen.

10:12 So I realized we did this unconsciously is you got to give

10:15 somebody a reason why they need to learn it in the first place,

10:18 deeper than just knowing it or just

10:20 deeper than just being better at at business.

10:24 Yeah.

10:24 Number [music] two, once you have and embrace a purpose,

10:28 you need to overcome [music] fear.

10:31 Is there a fear of going live and somebody judging you?

10:35 Is there a fear of screwing up?

10:37 Oh my god, what if I get my first client in the first coaching session?

10:40 They think I'm stupid.

10:41 They think I'm crazy.

10:42 Fear.

10:43 When it comes to AI, oh my god,

10:45 what if AI gets all the codes and starts World War III?

10:49 But when you have a deep enough purpose,

10:52 we can transform that fear because you know where fear comes from?

10:56 Just deciding what the meaning is.

10:59 If AI is the thing that could take [music] your job and end the world,

11:02 do you really want to learn it?

11:04 But what if you said the humans as humans we've invented a lot

11:07 and I'm going to have faith it's going to go in the [music] right direction.

11:13 You know they [music] predict AI, especially when it comes to quantum AI,

11:17 will cure cancer in the next three years [music]

11:19 because it's like having a gazillion, a million doctors working 24 hours a day,

11:23 seven days a week [music] to solve it.

11:26 We are going to have so many medical breakthroughs.

11:28 We are going to cure my kids' allergies.

11:31 All those things are coming.

11:32 So I would just rather focus on AI can make me more human cuz it could do

11:36 the stuff I don't want to do so I can spend more time with her and the kids.

11:40 It's going to help cure cancer and I think we're

11:42 smart enough as humans that we'll put boundaries on it.

11:45 I don't know if that's going to come but if I think about

11:47 that, then I lose the fear and I want to move forward, true?

11:51 I'm just going to think AI's going to shift

11:53 my life and it's going to make everybody else better.

11:55 Then the fear is gone.

11:56 Then we get to the third part.

11:59 When you have a deep enough purpose and you're

12:01 not scared and then you realize if I don't change,

12:04 you know that that saying if I'm not climbing, I'm sliding?

12:07 Yep.

12:07 [music] If I don't change, there's no way I can be significant.

12:10 There's no way I can impact other people's lives.

12:13 [music] There's no way I can turn this inner passion into something bigger.

12:16 Change is scary but I'm going to model proven practices.

12:20 I'm going to take one step at a time.

12:25 So if you think about that, my purpose is big enough,

12:27 I shift the fear and now I'm embracing change, turning resistance into momentum.

12:32 You got to cut through the overwhelm and be

12:34 able to see one straight line, one focus.

12:38 If you're helping people find romance again,

12:41 find intimacy, find themselves, get over an illness,

12:45 whatever it is, you got to have that one path with a one big outcome.