What Everyone Sees... But I Don't (The Johari Window) - Smarter Every Day 314

0:00 [D] Hey, it's me, Destin.

0:00 Welcome back to Smarter Every Day.

0:02 Today we're at the local community college where my friend is a teacher.

0:05 We're going to learn about a concept

0:07 that will help you learn more about yourself.

0:09 If you watch this video, it's going to make you think deep things because

0:13 years ago my buddy Daylan taught me this concept.

0:16 It's called the Johari window, and I cannot quit thinking about it.

0:20 Let's go meet Daylan.

0:22 He does not know what we're going to talk about.

0:23 He does know I'm filming, but he doesn't know why.

0:26 So let's go get Smarter Every Day.

0:27 [Music] Oh, you wore the vest today.

0:34 [Destin laughing] You wore the vest today.

0:39 [Y] How are you, brother?

0:39 [D] Doing well.

0:40 How are you, man?

0:41 Is this how you dress?

0:42 [Y] This is how I'm dressed.

0:44 [D] When you do the professor thing?

0:45 [Y] Absolutely.

0:45 [D] That's cool, man.

0:46 This is Daylan Woodall.

0:47 We're buddies.

0:49 And can I shut the door here?

0:52 [Y] Yeah, yeah.

0:53 [D] OK.

0:53 Do you have any idea what we're going to talk about?

0:53 [Y] I have no idea what we're going to talk about.

0:55 [D] What are you teaching today?

0:55 [Y] So this is a New Testament survey class.

0:59 And so we're talking now about the Book of Acts and the development

1:03 of the Christian faith as a distinct faith

1:06 tradition that comes out of the Jewish world,

1:09 but ultimately becomes something distinct and different.

1:11 [D] I can tell you're different.

1:13 You're in professor mode.

1:14 [Daylan laughs hard] You're totally in professor mode.

1:18 I have never met Professor Daylan.

1:21 I know my buddy Daylan.

1:23 I don't know the professor.

1:24 This is amazing.

1:25 Okay, great.

1:26 This is my buddy.

1:27 Reverend Daylan Woodall.

1:29 You're a professor basically right now.

1:31 That's my title for you.

1:32 I don't know what— lecturer.

1:33 I don't know what it is.

1:35 Daylan's brilliant.

1:36 Years ago, Daylan, you told me something that I can't get out of my head,

1:40 and I want to talk to you about it today.

1:42 I don't even know if you remember this, so I'm shooting cold here.

1:45 You told me about this thing called the Johari window.

1:49 [Y] Yeah, right.

1:50 [D] Do you remember this conversation?

1:52 [Y] Yeah, I do.

1:53 Okay, are the gears turning right now?

1:54 [Y] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:54 Okay.

1:54 [Y] I remember where we were when we had that conversation.

1:58 [D] Where were we?

1:58 [Y] We're not having lunch.

1:58 [D] Maybe.

1:59 [Y] Yeah, I think we were having lunch.

2:01 [D] What were we talking about?

2:02 [Y] I think we were talking about parenthood.

2:05 and our children.

2:08 [D] So you gave me this mental tool to understand self-awareness, right?

2:13 And it has changed the way I think about myself and other people.

2:17 [Y] Yeah.

2:17 [D] And I want to talk to you about it.

2:19 [Y] Yeah, I think it does that.

2:20 [D] I have read up on it a little bit.

2:22 [D] But I think that people would

2:25 benefit from having this framework in their minds.

2:27 [Y] Yeah, absolutely.

2:28 [D] And I just want to show it to you and I'll get you started with it.

2:31 [Y] Okay.

2:31 [D] So this is the Johari window right here.

2:33 [D] Come on over.

2:34 [Y] It's like pop quiz on the Johari window.

2:36 [D] Well, I mean, you're not— you're not a psychologist, right?

2:39 But you're a reverend.

2:40 You're my friend.

2:41 [Y] Yeah.

2:42 [D] And you're incredibly emotionally intelligent.

2:45 [Y] You're very kind.

2:45 [D] And you told me this and it changed me.

2:48 We have one of those markers over there.

2:50 [Y] Does it matter what color?

2:51 [D] Let's go blue.

2:52 so we're gonna go Johari window.

2:54 [Y] All right.

2:54 [D] So the Johari window, as I understand it, as you taught me,

2:57 is a framework for how to think about

3:00 yourself in the world and so we'll start here.

3:05 The first column here, known to self okay, I'll let you go from here.

3:12 [Y] Okay, so one of these is known to others.

3:14 [D] So that'd be here.

3:16 Yeah.

3:17 [Y] Known to others, right?

3:21 [D] Uh-huh.

3:22 So this is not known to self this, you can say not self.

3:27 [Y] Yeah, not self.

3:31 [D] and this is not known to others, right?

3:34 [Y] Right.

3:34 Yeah, I think that's right.

3:35 Yeah, not others, just for consistency, right?

3:39 [D] Yeah, right.

3:40 You told me that each quadrant here means something.

3:42 [Y] Right.

3:43 [D] Can you explain it to me?

3:44 [Y] Yeah.

3:45 So this quadrant here are things that you

3:49 know about yourself and that others know about you.

3:53 in this upper left.

3:55 [D] Okay.

3:55 [Y] Right.

3:56 And so, you know, you're an engineer.

3:58 and other people know that you're an engineer.

4:00 [D] Yeah.

4:00 [Y] That will go in this quadrant.

4:01 You know that you are a content creator

4:04 and other people know that you're a content creator.

4:07 You know that you're a dad and other people know that you're a dad.

4:10 Right.

4:10 [D] Okay.

4:10 [Y] You know that you're a believer.

4:12 And other people know that you're a believer.

4:13 Yeah.

4:14 Right.

4:15 Those are, those are some examples.

4:18 [D] So take me to another quadrant.

4:20 [Y] So another quadrant are things that you know, but other people don't know.

4:26 Okay.

4:26 Right.

4:26 And so this, this could be like your back injury.

4:30 [Daylan laughs] You know that you're— [D] you're out-in me here,

4:33 right here in front of everybody.

4:35 Yeah.

4:36 [Y] Hypothetically, if you had a back injury.

4:37 Okay.

4:38 Right.

4:38 But it could also be emotional things.

4:42 Yeah, right.

4:42 Like, you know that you have—So secrets?

4:45 [Y] Yeah, sure.

4:47 [D] Okay.

4:48 Secrets and feelings.

4:50 Yeah.

4:51 Yeah.

4:52 Okay.

4:52 [Y] And these can be things

4:54 that you're intentionally sort of keeping from others,

4:58 right, that you don't want them to know.

5:00 Or things that maybe you recently learned.

5:04 Right.

5:04 That you would be willing to share,

5:06 but perhaps that time or that space hasn't come yet, right?

5:10 So this top quadrant is the scary one.

5:16 [D] What do you mean?

5:17 [Y] Well, I say that because these are things

5:19 that you are unaware of and that others know.

5:24 [D] So the blind spot.

5:26 [Y] That's the blind spot, right?

5:28 And the central implication of the Johari window, right,

5:34 is that there are parts and pieces

5:36 of our personality and identity that are mysteries to us,

5:41 that we don't have perfect self-knowledge.

5:43 And I think that was kind of how we,

5:45 we brought this up in the context of the initial conversation we were having.

5:49 And we have this incredible inclination and we live in a culture,

5:54 right, that says to us,

5:55 because our wants and needs and desires are so present and so loud,

5:58 we know ourselves well.

6:01 But the reality is we are coming to know ourselves as others

6:04 are coming to know us and that we have blind spots.

6:09 Yeah.

6:09 Yeah.

6:10 Okay.

6:10 [D] What's the next— the next quadrant here?

6:13 So this quadrant here is what?

6:18 Stuff that other people know that you don't.

6:20 [D] It's just the unknown.

6:21 [Y] Yeah, it's the unknown known.

6:23 That's Rumsfeld.

6:25 [D] Unknown unknowns.

6:28 [Y] Is this going to be a Smarter Every Day?

6:30 [D] Yeah.

6:31 [Y] Wow.

6:32 [D] Yeah.

6:32 What do you mean, wow?

6:33 [Y] I just thought you were doing this for fun.

6:35 [D] No, man.

6:36 So I found out where the name Johari comes from.

6:41 [Y] Wow.

6:42 [D] It's the two people that came up with it, Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingram.

6:46 [Y] That's incredible.

6:48 [D] They just put their two names together.

6:49 [Y] Wow.

6:50 [D] Yeah.

6:51 [Y] Now that, that makes me so happy.

6:54 Luft and Ingram first talked about the Johari Window in 1955.

6:57 This is a reprint from 1961,

6:59 but I want to briefly make sure we understand the panes of the window.

7:03 We've got 4 areas, right?

7:05 The first one, arena.

7:06 That's the public stuff.

7:08 We understand that.

7:08 Teddy Roosevelt, man in the arena, right?

7:10 Down here we have this area called the facade.

7:13 I didn't explain this very well, but what the facade is,

7:16 is it's not so much the lie that you're telling people,

7:18 but it's the truth you're withholding.

7:20 Daylan mentioned my back injury.

7:22 I chose not to tell people about that till Daylan outed me.

7:25 And I'm outing myself here because I get to control the edit here.

7:28 But the facade is something you might withhold

7:30 because You're not ready for people to know,

7:32 or you don't necessarily want people to know how you feel about a certain thing,

7:36 or you have inner feelings and secrets.

7:38 So the facade is a very interesting area.

7:41 So it's that stuff that you're withholding.

7:43 So Luft and Ingram called that the avoided or the hidden area.

7:47 That makes sense.

7:49 They call this area the blind area, which I'm calling the blind spot.

7:51 That terrifies me because the idea of someone

7:53 knowing something about me that I don't know,

7:55 I don't know why that just scares me

7:57 for probably all kinds of self-esteem issues reasons.

8:01 But that's That's a scary part there.

8:03 And then, of course, we have the mystery down here.

8:05 So those are the four panes of the Johari window.

8:08 Why do you think the Johari window is valuable?

8:10 [Y] I think the Johari window is valuable because it forces us to confront,

8:15 you know, the reality that our knowledge of ourselves isn't perfect.

8:18 Right.

8:19 And it forces us to confront the reality that people will notice things

8:22 and see things in us that are true that we're not aware of.

8:26 Yeah, right.

8:27 And those are essentially important to our growth and development

8:31 and our movement throughout life and throughout the world, right?

8:34 We have to be open and available

8:36 to the reality that we're still learning who we are,

8:40 and that others might have insight into who we are that we haven't noticed.

8:45 We have to be open and available to the reality that we have blind spots.

8:49 That's critically and crucially important.

8:51 That changes the dynamic of human relationships.

8:55 [D] So do you think ultimately that Jahari Window is about relationships,

8:58 or is it about self-awareness?

9:00 [Y] I think it is about self-awareness,

9:03 but self-awareness directly impacts relationships.

9:07 So I think it's really hard to disentangle self-awareness from relationships

9:11 because having self-awareness directly impacts the health of our relationships.

9:16 Like, if a person is unaware, right, of what their issues and their flaws are,

9:20 that's going to manifest itself and negatively impact their relationships.

9:24 But if they are aware right?

9:26 If they're honest about their flaws and their issues, if they're aware, right,

9:31 and they're progressively working to resolve them,

9:32 well, they're going to have healthier relationships.

9:35 No man is an island.

9:36 We are in community.

9:38 We are in relationships with people.

9:40 And the question isn't whether or not

9:42 we're in relationships with people or society.

9:45 The question is whether we are in good

9:47 relationships or bad relationships with people in society.

9:49 [D] I see.

9:51 Yeah.

9:52 Yeah, I feel things talking about this.

9:54 Like, like when you talk, when you gave me this tool to think about

9:58 myself [Y] I remember seeing your eyes light up.

10:00 I was speeding past this like, you know, the Johari window.

10:03 You're like, wait, what?

10:04 Yeah, what's that?

10:05 And then I told you, and I think most of our conversation became about that.

10:09 And then I thought that was just going to go

10:10 in the giant pile of other random things I've told you.

10:13 And then you brought it up again and you told me that you

10:15 had talked about it with one of your, one of your kids.

10:18 And I was like, oh, you're still thinking about that.

10:21 [D] I am, dude.

10:22 I mean, like, I think that's one of the most beautiful things

10:25 about our friendship is that you help me with the blind spots.

10:30 I think— I feel like you do.

10:32 Yeah.

10:32 And so this is what I would like to do.

10:35 So I'm going to— I'm just going to— [Y]

10:38 that really means a lot to me that you say that.

10:40 [D] Oh, I mean it.

10:41 So, dude, this is a little scary.

10:44 No, it's not.

10:45 So for me and my own relationships,

10:47 this is the known to others, known to self, right?

10:50 And so if I have the ability to somehow expand this area,

10:55 right, so that I know more about myself, right?

11:00 If I can make that area bigger, ah,

11:03 then I think I can— [Y] like Johari window theory.

11:07 [D] Now, if we have the ability to expand

11:08 what we know and what others know about us,

11:11 right, I think we can grow as a person, right?

11:13 And so I thought about this, right?

11:16 And I've read about it.

11:17 So in order to move from the known to self and the not known to self,

11:21 the stuff that other people know, right?

11:23 In order to move over here into this area,

11:25 into the blind spot, you have to have trust with a person.

11:28 [Y] Yeah, you have to have people.

11:29 [D] They have to know you.

11:29 [Y] That's right.

11:30 [D] And they have to— there has to be

11:32 enough of a relationship there where you can ask, like, what is my blind spot?

11:35 [Y]Yeah, sure.

11:36 [D] So being vulnerable here.

11:38 Yeah.

11:38 I would like to ask you.

11:40 [Y] Ohhh hoho [Both LOL hard] Oh, so, so what?

11:44 [Y] You've got to stroke my beard.

11:46 Oh, you've come to the right place.

11:48 [D] What is a blind spot that Destin Sandlin has

11:52 that you think it would be valuable for me to know?

11:54 [Y] So you're in a generation that even,

11:58 even though you're a STEM person, a science person,

12:02 an engineer, like you come from a generation where,

12:05 like, human relationships were much more important.

12:08 You kind of grew up outside of the internet,

12:10 even though you're very much on the internet now, right?

12:14 Yeah.

12:14 And so I would say a blind spot

12:16 would be that that you're like highly relational,

12:19 but you're in a context where relationships work differently.

12:25 So you're thinking about how relationships work.

12:28 Yeah.

12:28 And I think how the contemporary culture thinks about how relationships work,

12:32 I think that's maybe a blind spot.

12:33 Does that make sense?

12:34 [D] Meaning they're different?

12:35 [Y] Yeah.

12:36 I think like what relationships are like

12:39 in contemporary culture is like much more transactional.

12:42 Yeah, but this is what happens when you have like the internet and parasocial

12:46 relationships and people like are not connecting with people in the same way.

12:50 That explains the loneliness epidemic and this kind of thing.

12:53 So I think the way you go about

12:55 building relationships or like your inclination to build

12:57 relationships in a certain way is different than

12:59 kind of how that works in contemporary culture.

13:01 Does that make sense?

13:03 [D] So you're saying maybe I don't build relationships effectively?

13:07 [Y] No, I'm saying that your assumptions for what other people might be looking

13:15 for in relationships are different than maybe

13:18 what they're actually looking for in relationships.

13:21 [D] Oh, okay.

13:22 [Y] Does that make sense?

13:23 [D] So sometimes I miss.

13:24 Yeah.

13:24 Okay.

13:25 So sometimes I miss relational.

13:27 So I miss relationally.

13:28 Okay.

13:29 That's— I'm going to have to think about that for— [Y] For a while.

13:32 [D] The rest of my life.

13:33 [Laughing] So, so give me, give me some more here, Daylan.

13:37 [Y] I would say that— [D] and do just like—

13:41 I might not be ready to publish this on the video.

13:45 Yeah, sure.

13:45 I mean, like, use the, use the relationship capital we have and just,

13:49 and just tell me, what are my blind spots?

13:51 [Y] You're a white guy.

13:53 and what that means is your your view

13:57 of the world isn't necessarily going to naturally

14:01 relate and connect with people that come

14:03 from a context different than yours so like,

14:05 you don't know what it feels like to be pulled over

14:08 by the cops as a black guy because you're a white guy.

14:10 Yeah.

14:11 And so when I tell you a story about

14:13 me getting pulled over by the police or whatever,

14:15 you're going to perceive that differently because you're a white guy.

14:20 So not that there's anything wrong with that, [D] but you're

14:22 saying I may see the injustice and be irritated by it,

14:24 but I still don't actually understand what it's like.

14:28 [Y] Yeah, for sure.

14:29 And so you're I think maybe your ability to perceive needs to be aided

14:37 by relationships because it has been shaped

14:39 by the kind of life that you have had.

14:44 So that's like a cultural, you know, kind of blind spot.

14:48 [D] I'm going to stop short of saying I understand.

14:49 Sure.

14:50 Because that's the point of the exercise.

14:53 Well, that's the point of what you just told me.

14:54 Sure.

14:54 Yeah.

14:55 So I'm going to say I will take that.

14:58 And I'm going to chew on that.

14:59 Yeah.

14:59 Okay.

15:00 I think, I think this relationship helps in that area.

15:02 [Y] Well, and I think when we are wanting to develop

15:06 or when we need to develop the ability to perceive, we need help.

15:10 We need scaffolding.

15:12 You see what I'm saying?

15:13 We have to be, again, just for the purpose of the exercise,

15:16 available to the reality that we have blind spots,

15:19 have relationships with people that we trust, right?

15:21 Yeah.

15:21 That can help us bring those kinds of things to our attention.

15:25 [D] Yes.

15:25 You know what else you got?

15:29 [Y] Let's see.

15:33 I think you're— I think a blind spot that you have is

15:43 this is— you're like a famous person on the internet, you know?

15:48 And so like that impacts the way people like approach you, you know what I mean?

15:54 Like, we laugh and joke about this all the time,

15:55 like when we're out eating and stuff and people come up to you and they go like,

15:59 are you Destin Sandlin?

16:00 You know what I mean?

16:01 Um, you, you do a really good job of like stewarding,

16:04 you know, those relationships, um, and those interactions with people.

16:08 But I think that like— [D] I'm holding my breath.

16:13 Go ahead.

16:14 [Y] No, I think that I think you're

16:16 blind to how much influence you have over people.

16:20 [D] Okay.

16:21 [Y] You know what I mean?

16:23 Like, just think about this for a second.

16:25 Like, we live in a moment that's being called the loneliness epidemic.

16:32 where people feel less connected to people in their real life than ever before.

16:39 But when me and you are out eating lunch,

16:42 people are willing to cross this enormous

16:46 social barrier to just come and say hello.

16:51 That's huge.

16:52 And that it never like registers to you

16:54 how big of a sacrifice someone's making walking

16:57 across a restaurant to talk to a stranger

16:59 because it happens to you all the time.

17:01 [D] Shoot, dude, I've never thought about the chasm they have to cross.

17:05 [Y] Yeah, I mean, it's, it's a huge chasm.

17:07 [D] Holy crap.

17:09 [Y] And it's a growing chasm.

17:11 Right.

17:11 It's never been harder in human history than it is

17:15 right now for a person to walk up to a stranger.

17:19 That's what all of the sociologists and psychologists are saying.

17:22 That's what all the data is pointing in that direction.

17:24 And it happens to you all the time.

17:28 [D] And I don't understand that.

17:29 [Y] And you don't understand how big of a deal that is for people.

17:33 And like, that's why we go right back to our conversation and I'm just like,

17:37 I'm like, you don't quite realize what just happened here.

17:40 That's a, that's a person who maybe doesn't

17:43 have any deep or meaningful relationships with you,

17:48 but they were willing to walk across a restaurant.

17:51 I think, I think that's maybe something you're,

17:53 you're blind to is how much influence you

17:54 have [D] This is making me want to vomit.

17:56 What do I write here?

17:59 [Y] Um, ability to influence.

18:03 [D] Influence.

18:08 So in order to go here, you have to have the relationship.

18:12 but in order to go here into the things that other people don't know,

18:16 you have to be vulnerable.

18:18 [Y] That's right.

18:19 [D] So you have to like,

18:20 you have to be able to open up in order to go into this quadrant.

18:25 Yeah.

18:27 And the last thing I would say is I found

18:29 personally that in order to go into the unknown unknown,

18:32 right, not known to self, not known to others,

18:36 like you ask questions to get here, right?

18:39 [Y] You're just totally thinking about this as an engineer.

18:42 This is so funny.

18:43 You're like, all right, we've got a system.

18:45 [D] Yeah, I am.

18:47 I think here, for me personally,

18:48 the only way to get to expand [Y] To the undiscovered country.

18:52 [D] Yes.

18:53 Oh, the consciousness.

18:54 The only way to do that for me is, is prayer.

18:57 [Y] Yeah.

18:58 And I think that— [D] for me, like, God knows these things.

19:03 [Y] And so again, the root system of this, right,

19:09 is the acknowledgment that there are things about ourselves that we don't know.

19:16 But faith says God knows all things.

19:21 Faith says that God knows and understands the things about me,

19:28 right, that I don't know or understand.

19:31 And so the only way to make progress in my life,

19:35 in my growth, in my relationships, in my understanding of the world,

19:39 in my ability and capacity to be a positive and productive person,

19:43 is by getting in touch through prayer, through spiritual formation, with God.

19:49 Who has the answers that no one else has.

19:53 And that's what faith is.

19:55 Okay, Daylan and I were talking about expanding this arena,

19:59 this known area about yourself, and we talked about two ways you can do that.

20:05 You can expand down into the facade area by disclosing things to other people.

20:11 You can expand over into the blind spot area

20:13 by asking for feedback from people that know things about you.

20:17 I mentioned that one way I explore this unknown down here is through prayer

20:21 because that's the area where God knows things that I don't know about myself.

20:25 But maybe you're not a person of faith.

20:27 And maybe even if you are a person of faith,

20:30 another way you could expand down into this unknown area is just

20:34 by being in situations that you weren't expecting or you see how you react.

20:40 Whenever I explore, And I'm a curious person.

20:43 I like to be in places and areas that I

20:45 don't know a lot of things about and ask questions.

20:47 I end up learning about myself.

20:49 Oh, this is how I react to that situation.

20:51 Oh, that's very interesting.

20:53 So I think there are ways to get

20:54 down into the unknown that we didn't mention here,

20:56 but I just want to make sure that this doesn't sound

21:00 like a hitting you over the head with a faith type video.

21:03 I think it's fascinating.

21:05 And there are many ways to get down

21:06 into the area of the unknown or the mystery about yourself.

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22:21 and I want to shoot this rocket three times.

22:24 I'm going to fire it first with just air.

22:26 I saw a vapor cloud in here earlier.

22:27 I want to see if we can see it.

22:29 I want to fire it second with water

22:32 that provides momentum going in the opposite direction,

22:34 which ultimately makes rockets go.

22:36 And then I'm going to use the citric acid

22:37 and baking soda that they give us in the kit.

22:39 So let's see what we can see.

22:41 All right.

22:41 Air first should be pressurizing.

22:44 And it's— there was a cloud.

22:47 I saw it.

22:49 Let's go look at the slow-mo.

23:00 Time to load up some water here.

23:04 Okay.

23:04 This time we should have water in the rocket for momentum.

23:06 Oh, this thing's going to go, man.

23:14 Oh my goodness, whoa, that's way more fun than it should be.

23:24 Oh, that was great.

23:36 Oh man, that's awesome.

23:39 It's like kind of laminar flow, but not.

23:42 But you can see that it's doing the thing.

23:44 The momentum of the water is going down, pushing the rocket up.

23:46 It's a momentum balance.

23:48 That's how rockets work.

23:50 And it's beautiful.

23:51 Okay, now the instructions say we're supposed

23:52 to add citric acid and baking soda to this.

23:55 I think it'll make it more bubbly.

23:56 Let's see what happens.

23:58 Baking soda, citric acid.

24:01 All right, here we go.

24:02 Oh yeah, so a lot of the gas is coming from that chemical reaction now.

24:13 Oh man, okay.

24:29 This is a blast.

24:30 So, pun intended.

24:32 So the thing about this is this is actual science.

24:34 The one on the left is going slow because there's too much water in it,

24:37 but the chemicals on the right filled the bottle

24:39 up with air faster and the cork popped.

24:41 So we have a better propellant mass fraction and it's accelerating faster.

24:45 This is actual science.

24:46 And that's what I love about KiwiCo.

24:48 And if you want to gift this to a kid you love, then go to kiwico.com.

24:53 Here's a website, kiwico.com/smarter.

24:57 You can see they have all different types

24:59 of options for crates that you can select.

25:01 If you go to kiwico.com/smarter you get 50% off

25:04 the first crate in your subscription and it's a blast.

25:08 So gift this to a kid in your life that you want to give curiosity and joy to.

25:13 My kids have loved these for years.

25:14 I just wanted to play this one because rockets, right?

25:17 So that was really fun.

25:18 They're very durable too.

25:19 Like I can keep using this, so it's really fun anyway.

25:24 Kiwico.com/smarter.

25:25 Thank you for considering supporting the sponsor.

25:28 Big fan of KiwiCo.

25:29 [Y] You know, you've really helped me refine my relationship

25:33 with this concept because when it was introduced to me,

25:38 my initial inclination was to think

25:41 that it was just about self-awareness, right?

25:45 But again, no man is an island, you know?

25:49 Our self-awareness, ironically, isn't just about ourselves.

25:55 Very little that we do in life is just about ourselves.

25:59 [D] Oh, students are here.

26:00 Come on in.

26:00 [Y] Come on, come on, come on.

26:01 I want you to meet somebody.

26:02 Please, please, please, please, please.

26:03 [D] Okay, so students are here, so I should let you go.

26:06 Last thing.

26:07 This is my, my, my brother, Reverend Daylan Woodall, working on his PhD.

26:13 Are you going to be Reverend Dr.

26:15 Daylan Woodall?

26:15 Yeah.

26:15 Dr.

26:15 Reverend.

26:16 [Y] Reverend goes first.

26:17 Yeah.

26:17 [D] Oh, does it really?

26:17 Okay.

26:17 So So if people want to learn more

26:20 about or just read stuff you've written or whatever, just learn more about you.

26:24 Do you have a website?

26:24 [Y] Yes.

26:25 DaylanWoodall.com.

26:25 [D] Oh, that's easy.

26:27 All right.

26:27 More students here.

26:28 DaylanWoodall.com.

26:29 You have a Substack and all that kind of stuff.

26:31 [Y] And I have a Substack and the book is there.

26:33 And yeah.

26:33 [D] Hey, thank you, man.

26:34 [Y] Yeah, absolutely.

26:35 [D] Enjoy class.

26:35 For sure.

26:36 Bye.

26:36 Okay.

26:37 Daylan is in there teaching now,

26:38 but I want to briefly talk about the Johari window.

26:42 It's been valuable.

26:44 To me because I want to get better at relationships.

26:48 I think they are valuable.

26:50 I think they are more valuable than material possessions.

26:54 They're very important.

26:55 It's really interesting when they're authentic and real.

26:58 And I'm scared of my blind spots.

27:02 I don't know why.

27:03 Is it ego?

27:05 Is it that I am scared of looking dumb or I'm scared of like,

27:12 why am I scared of my blind spots?

27:13 I am.

27:14 I very much am scared of my blind spots.

27:16 I don't know why, but I think sometimes if people

27:21 love me enough to tell me what those blind spots are,

27:24 and often those are hard conversations, I can grow.

27:29 And often when I have real conversations with people that I'm close

27:32 to and I confess things to them and I reveal things and disclose close things,

27:39 I think I can also grow.

27:41 So I think these conversations are important

27:43 because they're going to make us better.

27:45 There's different ways that can happen in the context of a safe relationship,

27:51 but also, yeah, therapy is a thing.

27:55 Yeah, counseling.

27:57 I think it's important.

27:58 I think there's a lot here to unpack.

28:00 I don't know where this lands for you,

28:02 but I do want to explore this because I think

28:04 the sense of who we are and the self-awareness is valuable.

28:08 So anyway, I love people.

28:10 I love you.

28:11 Thank you for watching Smarter Every Day.

28:15 Daylan's right about the parasocial thing.

28:17 Don't know what to do with that.

28:19 But yeah, thanks for taking the time to watch.

28:23 I'm a guy, like in real life.

28:26 I'm not just a content creator.

28:28 So I don't know what to do with that.

28:29 That Daylan told me about,

28:31 but I think it is a thing that we, I need to think about.

28:34 So anyway, that's it.

28:38 Even now, there's people walking around and I

28:42 feel weird because of how I'm making them feel.

28:46 I'm not self-aware.

28:48 All right, anyway, that's it.

28:49 I'm Destin.

28:49 Yeah.