Looksmaxxing Is Making Men Miserable

0:02 It's Josh Johnson in 3D.

0:07 [cheering] I'm in 3D.

0:12 [applause and music] Good popcorn.

0:18 I try not to think of um like image all the time, you know,

0:26 like not not think about how how you look or how you come off all the time.

0:30 That's exhausting.

0:31 And there's more to you than that as a person.

0:34 There's more than just like what people see when they see you.

0:37 And so I I admit though that I've struggled with it.

0:41 Like it's one of the reasons I'm not wearing glasses.

0:46 I need glasses.

0:47 [laughter] Oh.

0:52 Oh, I need glasses.

0:53 I Oh, I need glasses back.

0:55 Y'all lucky I'll drive.

0:57 I need I need glasses.

1:01 I have walked up to animals.

1:03 [laughter] Sure, they were different animals.

1:10 [laughter] Now, I need glasses.

1:13 bad.

1:13 But it's just here's the thing.

1:15 Here's the thing.

1:16 I if I if I wear glasses, I run the risk.

1:21 There's now your chances go up by 100% if

1:24 you wear glasses of getting your glasses knocked off.

1:29 Now, if I get my glasses knocked off, I have to find my glasses.

1:36 [laughter] If I ever get my glasses knocked off

1:40 and have to hit the deck to find my glasses, pack me up right there.

1:45 That's if if my glasses get knocked off and now I can't see

1:50 at all and I got to get on the ground and hit the full Velma.

1:56 [applause] And now I'm over here patting for my glasses.

2:02 And every time you feel for your glasses and you don't touch glasses,

2:05 it makes you look more blind.

2:07 So now my hand might be right next to my glass.

2:10 And I don't know what it is in us as people.

2:13 We will stand there and let somebody fight to find their glasses.

2:18 I did it too.

2:18 I didn't even realize I was doing it.

2:20 One time, [laughter] one time we were all playing around.

2:23 We playing dodgeball in gym class and my buddy got hit with a dodgeball

2:27 and he he barely dodged it but it hit the top of his head,

2:31 knocked his glasses off and he needed

2:33 his glasses bad and so he immediately dropped

2:35 his and he said he said it cuz I guess whenever they fly off you say it.

2:39 I don't know why it comes right out of your mouth.

2:43 If you get your glasses knocked off you you say my glasses.

2:47 [laughter] We all know what just happened.

2:53 [laughter] We all saw it.

2:55 You didn't see it, but we saw it.

2:59 And now you OVER HERE STRIPPING MY GLASSES.

3:02 [laughter] And then he he hit the ground and was looking for his glasses.

3:06 And full on I didn't I thought, okay, Scooby-Doo is a cartoon.

3:11 They're exaggerating for comedic effect.

3:13 Whatever.

3:14 He was fully missing his glasses.

3:17 Wouldn't even slide his hand.

3:18 was just tapping the wrong place around the glasses non-stop.

3:22 I didn't mean to watch him to be mean.

3:24 I wasn't try I wasn't I WASN'T EVEN THINKING.

3:27 I WAS JUST like he he bound to touch it eventually.

3:30 His hand is [laughter] and then

3:34 everybody else started screaming out instructions.

3:37 They were like, "No, Lil to the left,

3:38 Lil to the And no one, we weren't bullying him.

3:42 No one was like trying to get We were trying to help.

3:44 And it didn't occur to me until he grabbed him that I was like,

3:47 "Oh, I was right there.

3:48 I could have picked him up for [laughter] and ever since

3:52 then I've just been thinking about that because there's something about Okay,

3:56 I don't know what this is and maybe I'm wrong,

3:59 maybe it's just the instance that I saw,

4:02 but there is something about bending over to find your glasses

4:06 that makes you hinge your hips in a way that is unflattering.

4:11 [laughter] Maybe it's the panic.

4:13 Maybe it's like, you know what I mean?

4:14 It's it's like you the urgency might be what does it.

4:17 But when he bent down to pick up his guy,

4:19 he didn't just bend up on all fours like you would think.

4:23 He really like t like he [laughter] like it was like it was up

4:30 in the air in a way where I was like, is that part of it?

4:40 from that day to present.

4:42 I couldn't I remember being in the eye

4:45 doctor's office and they had the test for me

4:52 and it was all the letters and I knew I needed glasses as soon as Okay,

4:58 [laughter] they have a lot of layers to it, a lot of levels, right?

5:03 First one, that E, [laughter] easy must be why it's an E.

5:12 Next two down, the like F, L, Q, whatever.

5:16 I was like, "All right, fine.

5:17 Fine." Third layer down, I was like, "Okay, all right." Trying to get tricky.

5:23 [laughter] The layer right under that, I was like,

5:30 [laughter] And they they were standing right next to me.

5:37 Don't straighten your eyes.

5:38 I was like, I'm not straining it.

5:39 I'm not straining it.

5:40 I'm just I'm just looking.

5:41 I'm just looking.

5:43 [laughter] They were like, well, what do you say?

5:50 Give me a second.

5:50 Give me a second.

5:53 [laughter] [laughter] Okay.

6:01 B [laughter] P That's a car.

6:07 That look like a car.

6:09 Are you sure these are all letters?

6:11 Because that look exactly like a Nissan.

6:14 Okay.

6:15 [laughter] Car car two.

6:23 [laughter] D A 12.

6:33 And then they were like, "What about the layer underneath?" And I was like,

6:38 "You don't seriously think if they're starting to look like vehicles?

6:43 I think we've got our answer." And then they were like, "Ooh,

6:50 you need glasses." And I was like, "Ah, there's no like exercises I can do.

6:55 There's no like situps for my eyes or something that I can." And they were like,

6:59 "No, you need glasses." And I was like,

7:01 "Okay, all right, fair enough." And then they gave me what

7:05 should be my prescription cuz they did the better worse thing.

7:08 Um, that shouldn't be up to you.

7:10 [laughter] That's a crazy thing that we do.

7:14 That's insane.

7:15 That's in That's insane.

7:16 Imagine if the surgeon was like,

7:18 "Do you think I should poke here first?" I'm like, [laughter]

7:21 I told you the general area that it hurt.

7:24 I have no idea.

7:25 I don't know.

7:25 Surgery.

7:26 And even though these are my eyes, I don't know.

7:31 And at a certain point when they were like better,

7:33 worse, I was like, that one had to be the same.

7:35 The thing that you just did just now.

7:38 And then that's why I was like, okay, is some of this like a placebo?

7:41 Like are they trying to trick me or something?

7:44 And then they would go like better, worse, better.

7:46 And then I confused them because I started

7:48 saying stuff was better that said was worse already.

7:52 But then I was like, "But why are you trying to test me?" [laughter]

7:59 This it went from feeling like a eye test

8:01 to feel like the type of test your girl

8:04 gives you when she knows you did something wrong.

8:06 [laughter] You know what I mean?

8:09 Like, no.

8:10 Is it better?

8:10 Is it worse?

8:11 Is it [laughter] No.

8:13 You tell me.

8:14 You tell me what you think.

8:16 No, I can't answer for you.

8:18 I can't do that.

8:20 [laughter] And so now I'm like be better better word.

8:24 Then there was a moment where I was like in my head.

8:28 I did not say this out loud, but they they had done the thing so many

8:31 times that I was like, maybe I can't see.

8:34 Maybe maybe I've been going off of instinct this whole time.

8:38 Maybe my sense of smell is so good

8:41 that I've been just daredeviling it without the martial arts.

8:49 And so then finally they're like, "Okay,

8:51 we think we we think we've got it." And I was like,

8:53 "All right, never tell me that.

8:56 You're a professional and I don't know anything.

8:58 You don't have to tell me you think.

9:00 I'll take what you say as uh you

9:02 know the truth." And then they ordered my glasses.

9:07 glasses came in and it it was almost too much

9:13 seeing like I [laughter] it would be like okay so

9:22 a good example is like I've had friends whose grandparents

9:26 got hearing aids for the first time and they went

9:28 from like such a low grade of hearing to like

9:30 a hyper awareness of everything which was really just getting

9:33 them back to baseline but they had their senses dulled

9:36 for so long that it just it was almost too much.

9:39 It was like a flood at one time.

9:40 And when I tell you putting on those glasses would have been like if I

9:45 needed a hearing aid and I got a hearing aid and then I couldn't just hear.

9:49 I could hear thoughts like that.

9:51 Like [laughter] the way I was seeing I I was seeing the veins and leaves.

9:57 I was I was looking at leaves like I didn't know you had blood.

10:06 [laughter]

10:10 No, this is incredible.

10:11 [laughter] It was incredible.

10:13 Truly, I I I put I put them on and I I even said to the optometrist,

10:18 I was like, "This is almost too much.

10:20 Are you sure this prescription isn't too hard?" Like,

10:23 I should have said strong, but I didn't know the term.

10:29 And and they were like, "No, you'll you'll get used to it.

10:32 And you may you may experience like a slight, you know, headache as you adjust.

10:36 You start wearing them more often and stuff like that.

10:38 And I was like, "Okay, cool, cool,

10:40 cool." And then I'm walking out with glasses on for the first time.

10:45 I'm not even considering like how I look with glasses versus without glasses.

10:49 I'm not even really thinking about that.

10:50 I walk out Leonto's office and immediately almost

10:58 not quite get clipped by somebody on a bike.

11:03 [laughter] I was like, you know what?

11:11 That's enough seeing for today.

11:14 Let me go ahead pack these up.

11:16 [laughter] And so I have them.

11:20 I have them, but I just rarely when I'm like going to an event like like

11:26 if I'm going to an event and I have um you know seats pretty far back,

11:32 I will wear the glasses so I can see regular but I it's a lot of seeing.

11:42 [laughter] You know,

11:44 there's a certain there's a certain truth that comes with seeing

11:50 that you were able to ignore for a long time.

11:53 You got me.

11:54 For instance, I wore my glasses in my home, right?

11:59 Went ahead and put them back on cuz I was like,

12:00 at least if I got to look for them here is me,

12:03 but I got all day to find them if they get knocked off my head, right?

12:07 And I knew that I needed to clean up a bit.

12:13 [laughter] But looking at my apartment with glasses, I was like, "Oh no.

12:22 There's too much to do.

12:24 I think I have to move." Even being even being online

12:31 now as like a a a young kid, I can't imagine it.

12:37 Like I and I talk about it a lot,

12:38 but I just was very very lucky to get the type of internet I got.

12:45 I think here's my thing.

12:46 I think I look at the way that I came across

12:50 the internet like the way a kid should get their first car.

12:54 Like your first car actually shouldn't be nice.

12:58 Like it it shouldn't it shouldn't be amazing.

13:00 It's your it's your first car.

13:02 You'll get another one.

13:04 it's your first car and you're 16 or whatever

13:08 and that and that's if you're able to get a car

13:10 at that age like if your parents have money for a car

13:14 I think it should be something that's like something maybe you

13:20 don't want to drift in you know what I mean you

13:24 know like [laughter] you know my my buddy when he was

13:30 16 his parents got him a car but they were nervous

13:32 cuz he was you He was he was a good person, but he was a wild kid.

13:37 And so they were scared to get him a, you know,

13:39 like a Mustang or ju just anything that had like real juice to it, you know.

13:44 So they got him a minivan.

13:49 [applause] [laughter] And at first he was all upset.

13:53 He was like, "What you come on supposed to drive

13:56 up to school with this thing?" And they were like, "You can tell him it's ours.

14:01 like you don't have to you don't have to show it off to anybody.

14:04 And plus, you wanted a vehicle.

14:06 You wanted to be able to get from point A to point B.

14:08 Now you can bring more friends.

14:10 [laughter] And I don't know.

14:13 I think that's a good idea cuz I just knowing him,

14:16 I think if you had got him a Mustang, he wouldn't be alive right now.

14:22 You I mean like he he would have accidentally driven into something,

14:25 you know, just speeding or whatever.

14:28 And and that's how I look at the internet a little bit where it's like

14:31 I got a very beat up version of the internet that was just starting out.

14:37 Like it was young but the tech was old immediately, you know?

14:44 Like there was one time I had I had a computer

14:48 I had a desktop that had eaten a floppy disc.

14:52 And so that was just a function you were never going to be able to use.

14:55 Like [laughter] like, "Yeah, this just, oh yeah, no,

15:01 you can't you you can't print from this one.

15:04 This [laughter] this isn't the type of computer

15:06 that talks to printers." [laughter] And so I look

15:12 at the internet now and I look at it

15:13 as that sort of like Mustang and kids are getting online.

15:17 It's like you're 12.

15:20 You're you're a baby and this thing has so many opinions and a lot of it's bad.

15:29 Like I would even say most of it is bad.

15:33 you know, there's some Spongebob,

15:34 but outside of that, [laughter] it's uh it's not great out there.

15:42 And so many different things that are trying to tell us,

15:46 especially like young boys with being a a man

15:50 is like I remember when I was a kid,

15:53 I thought you wouldn't you wouldn't be a man until this thing and this thing.

15:56 And there's so many like rights of passage things that some

15:59 of them are just with the people that you grow up around,

16:02 but then other things are like almost universal.

16:04 Like for for instance, this is just a thing.

16:06 I don't expect anyone else to know or believe this thing.

16:09 This is just a thing when I was growing up.

16:11 This is just me, okay?

16:13 This is not for anybody else.

16:15 We all live different lives.

16:16 This is just me.

16:17 I was told that you weren't a a man yet until you catch your first fish, right?

16:24 cuz cuz it it has a lot of like life lessons in it.

16:27 You have to learn some patience.

16:29 You have to like be present in what you're doing.

16:32 It's a it's a bit of a a battle to get the thing.

16:34 It's not just going to come to you.

16:36 Even if you wait all day, you might not catch anything.

16:38 It's just like a lot of good lessons in fishing.

16:41 And so then I went fishing, right?

16:43 I I was fishing and I was like, "Okay, this is it.

16:47 I'mma become a man because [laughter] I'm become a man because I'm fishing.

16:55 And this is what this is what men do.

16:57 They uh kill I like they they [laughter] Yeah.

17:03 Like they they kill to provide for the people that they love.

17:05 And that's what I would do with this fish.

17:07 I would catch this fish and then it'd be something for my family to eat.

17:10 I'd be able to actually bring my mom something she could eat.

17:14 My mom always feeds me.

17:15 I'm like a I'm like 12 13 at the time.

17:17 I'm like my mom always feeds me.

17:18 I could actually have something to like have

17:20 I mean she would still need to cook it.

17:22 I would need her to I would I would need her to if it was going to be good.

17:26 Like I could I could I could cook it, but it would just be hot.

17:30 It wouldn't be [laughter] It wouldn't be cooked.

17:34 It'd be hot fish.

17:35 It would It' probably still have the scales

17:37 on it and it probably still have everything.

17:39 Like I I had even thought about cutting it open or doing any of the stuff.

17:43 I I I also didn't know at the time that you had to do anything.

17:47 Whenever I ordered fish, I thought they had caught the fish and got it real

17:51 hot and then chopped it up and then sent it to you.

17:55 [laughter] I would have passed out had I known anyway.

18:00 I was there to fish to be a man, right?

18:02 I'm going to become a man.

18:04 I'm going to fish.

18:04 And they had the hook and I was like, "Okay, so far so good.

18:09 I've seen this in cartoons.

18:10 you go ahead put that hook on the line and everything, cast that out.

18:14 And they were like, "Well, you need some bait." I was like,

18:16 "What?" And they were like, "You need some bait." And I was like, "Oh, okay.

18:20 So, what what do we do?" And the person who

18:23 would was teaching me to fish already had the bait.

18:26 They had a worm, right?

18:27 And they pulled the worm out and I was like, "Uh,

18:36 what what does that have to do with anything?"

18:38 That's I feel like you mixing activities right now.

18:41 Like [laughter] that's that's very weird that you would bring worms to fish.

18:49 And then he was like, "No, the fish is the the fish is going to go for the worm.

18:52 Like the fish is going to the the worm is the bait that the fish will that's

18:57 what we'll use to catch it." He was

18:59 like blown away that I didn't understand this concept.

19:02 He was like he had to he had to describe

19:04 it so many times he started saying it wrong.

19:06 He was like, "Yeah, cuz the fit the fish the worm wants fish.

19:12 [laughter] The fish will want the hook if the worm

19:19 has it." [laughter] And so then [laughter] this dude,

19:27 this dude is trying to explain to me and I was like, I don't know.

19:31 Hey, this is this is I know it's insane,

19:33 but when you're young, you don't always assume you don't know.

19:37 You just take logic as it stands in your mind.

19:39 And so when he was like,

19:40 we're going to put the worm on the hook so that when we throw it out the visual,

19:44 I was like, I don't think that's going to work.

19:46 Uh I'm just look, no, this is my opinion.

19:50 I don't think this is going to work because

19:52 the worm you got the where'd you get the worm from?

19:54 And he was like, oh, I got it from my property.

19:56 Like I dug up some earthworms and everything.

19:58 And I was like, "Oh, okay." So, not the water.

20:00 Like, not the [laughter] No, I'm just saying like it the fish will probably

20:06 see the worm and be like, "You drowning, dog?

20:12 We have never met before." I don't think

20:14 the fish is going to be like, "Ooh, delicious.

20:17 [laughter] I've been waiting my entire life." No,

20:20 I think the I think the fish is going to be like,

20:22 "What is like I I think if anything, the fish is going to think what I think,

20:27 which is why is this here?" [laughter] And he and as as as any good mentor does,

20:35 he was incredibly patient.

20:37 He was incred.

20:41 It's going to work.

20:42 This is how you do it.

20:44 And I was like, "Okay, all right." You know, I've never been fishing.

20:47 you fish, let's do it your way.

20:52 [laughter] And so he he put the fish on his hook

20:57 and I did not have the stomach for that.

21:00 I I even as he was doing it, I was like, "Oh,

21:03 it kind of seemed like you hurting him." Uh,

21:07 [laughter] so what happens with the once we catch the fish?

21:13 Like does he go back in your little box?

21:16 [laughter] And he's like, "No, no,

21:19 that's not how this works at all." I was like, "Oh, okay.

21:21 Oh, this this is a sadder activity than I thought it would be."

21:25 [laughter] And then it was time to put my fish on the hook.

21:30 And I was like, "All right, okay.

21:33 [clears throat] Oh, yeah.

21:34 The the worm." And I grabbed the worm and I was like, the whole time I was like,

21:42 "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

21:46 Ew.

21:47 Oh, ew.

21:48 [laughter] And then he, you know, taught me how to cast it.

21:53 Went to cast it.

21:57 [laughter] Probably did it more times I needed

22:01 to cuz I just I kind of liked casting.

22:04 I was [laughter] [laughter] like, what I was doing didn't even make sense.

22:15 I was like, I didn't like how it fell.

22:16 I didn't like how it fell.

22:19 It didn't fall right.

22:20 So, let me go ahead and [laughter] finally cast out.

22:29 He's like, "You you got to stop.

22:31 There's no way.

22:33 There's no way the fish still want this.

22:35 [laughter] You're scaring them." And I was like, "Okay, all right.

22:38 All right.

22:39 So, what do we what do we do now?

22:43 and we've been cast out and everything.

22:45 He's like, "Will you wait?

22:47 This requires patience." I was like, "Oh, okay.

22:58 [laughter] Hey, you sure about the worm thing?

23:03 Like you you feel completely confident that this is going to work?" He's like,

23:09 "Yes, it works." Okay.

23:12 took a while.

23:13 I don't even remember how long.

23:14 It took too long.

23:15 It took It took a ridiculous amount of time.

23:18 It took It [laughter] was deeply frustrating.

23:22 It was And then finally I felt some movement, the lines.

23:33 And he's like, "Grab it.

23:34 Grab it." Grabbed it.

23:35 He was like, "Reel it in." I was like, "Huh?

23:43 [laughter] cuz then I started to reel it in and he was like,

23:44 he was like, "No, give it a little slack.

23:46 Let it let it let it think it's getting away." And I was like, "Oh, okay.

23:49 But it's not getting away." He's like, he's like, "No,

23:52 but if you just pull pull pull it might it might break loose.

23:55 Give it a little slack.

23:56 Pull it back." I was [laughter] and then I'm like

24:09 I'm so close and it's it he you can tell

24:11 he wants to come grab it with me and help

24:14 me but he's like he's like letting me do it myself

24:16 and so he was like lean back lean back

24:18 and I was like I am [laughter] and finally I pull

24:26 out of the water and it's it's big and it's

24:29 not it's not big in the way that people lie about.

24:33 It's like it's like too big for me at 13.

24:37 You know what I mean?

24:37 So I don't like because I was smaller then

24:39 I actually have no idea how big this fish was.

24:42 Like in my mind he was half my body but I'm sure I'm

24:46 sure it was like what you could order at a Long John Silver.

24:50 Like I'm [laughter] positive.

24:53 But I I pull pull the fish out

24:55 and the fish is fighting which I had not prepared for.

24:59 I thought I was positive that when you

25:02 fished and maybe it's just cuz I watch movies

25:04 and you know you see people put stuff in the in the cooler and then head home.

25:08 I thought when you caught a fish after you caught it once

25:11 you pulled it out of the water it was like you right.

25:17 [laughter] N I'mma chill.

25:19 I'mma chill.

25:21 I don't even know what to do up here.

25:22 I'mma stop.

25:23 I'm gonna stop.

25:23 That did not happen at all.

25:25 This fish was still fighting hard.

25:27 This still the And it was And now that it

25:30 was reeled in, I didn't know what to do.

25:33 And so it's embarrassing.

25:34 But I pulled it in and it's wiggling.

25:37 It's wiggling so hard in front of me.

25:39 And I [laughter] just started screaming.

25:44 I was not prepared for how alive this thing would still be.

25:48 And so it is wiggling all around.

25:51 But now the fishing pole is almost like what

25:54 you remember when you would play like tether ball

25:56 when you were in middle school and the the thing

25:59 is just flying around me as I scream cuz I'm LIKE and I hear him and I know

26:13 he's still next to me but he sounds a thousand

26:16 miles away and he's like grab it SON GRAB

26:21 AND I I don't know why I closed my eyes,

26:24 BUT I [laughter] and finally I grab it and it fully wiggles out of my hand.

26:35 Right.

26:36 And so then I don't I don't know why I did this.

26:40 [laughter] I grabbed it again and it just felt so uncomfortable that it

26:45 was still wiggling so hard that I threw the fish and the fishing rod.

26:53 [applause] Now, I did throw it on land.

27:02 I don't want you to think I just threw

27:03 [laughter] it back in the water and lost two things.

27:06 No, I did.

27:10 I did.

27:11 throw it on the ground far away from me just so I

27:13 had time to gather myself [laughter] and I still saw this fish

27:18 like bouncing like bouncing off the it's like full of life [laughter]

27:24 and he's like he's like you're going to have you have to uh

27:26 grab it you know this is this is part of fishing and I

27:29 was like no one talked about this part of fishing at all

27:35 they said it was peaceful [laughter] and I didn't know how to like

27:41 I didn't know how to stop a fish that [clears throat] was,

27:45 you know, still so uh [clears throat] yeah, still so alive.

27:52 [laughter] And so I was he he kept telling me to grab it,

27:56 but I was like, I've grabbed it.

27:57 That doesn't deter it at all.

27:59 It's still very much wants to keep moving, and I don't know what to do.

28:04 And so I Okay.

28:08 I run up and he's like, "Grab it." And in my head I'm like,

28:12 "Oh, okay." Am I grabb This is what he wanted me to do.

28:14 He wanted me to grab it.

28:16 He was going to take the hook out.

28:17 He was going to put it in the cooler, right?

28:19 And it would just um be ready to take home.

28:24 [laughter] I didn't know any of that cuz we hadn't discussed any

28:30 of it cuz maybe he also didn't think I'd catch a fish today.

28:33 And so [laughter] in my mind, I'm on my own.

28:37 I know I have a mentor there.

28:39 I know I have somebody who fishes who knows what

28:41 they're doing that I don't even believe for some reason.

28:44 But I I just ran up and I I don't even know where it came from, but I ran up.

28:49 I grabbed it and I punched the fish as hard as I

28:53 could [cheering] cuz I thought I thought I needed to knock it out.

29:01 like I thought [laughter] cuz it's flopping

29:05 and everything and I've grabbed it already.

29:07 I've grabbed it several times but grab it.

29:10 It said stop it.

29:11 So I run up.

29:12 I grab the FISH [laughter] [laughter] and it

29:22 stopped moving and I threw up immediately.

29:36 [laughter] I threw up and I was sitting there.

29:39 I was like, I killed him.

29:42 [laughter] [laughter] But at least I was a man, you know,

29:52 like I I was a [applause] Now I had my manhood.

30:02 Manhood looked a lot like uh tears and [laughter] a little bit of vomit.

30:11 Oh yeah.

30:15 No, cuz you see it you see it happen especially online right now.

30:20 You you got all these uh young men

30:23 online that are taking so much in instruction,

30:27 taking it as um as absolute truth what people that are barely older

30:35 than them have to say about life and things that aren't helping them.

30:39 Things that are like really toxic.

30:40 Like you see you see like these uh young boys now

30:44 are getting um swept up in this thing called looks maxing, right?

30:51 And looks maxing you almost don't need to know any of the terms

30:55 because everyone keeps coming up for we we do this every generation.

30:58 Everybody comes up for terms for stuff that like already exists.

31:02 Does already just exist.

31:03 So then there's terms like uh you know what tier you are

31:09 especially like in the in the sort of marketplace of uh of attractiveness.

31:17 And the thing that's really tough about it is

31:20 that to even try not to engage with it, it still makes you think about it.

31:24 Everyone thinks about their appearance to a degree.

31:26 And then you see some of the people who are known in this world

31:30 and they they're authorities to these young

31:33 boys because just like any manosphere type,

31:37 they seem to have everything that the young boys want

31:40 and they're telling them how to get it, you know.

31:43 And so sometimes you can't even get through to a person.

31:45 It's not It's not until I became a little

31:48 bit more understanding of myself and I got

31:51 a little bit older that I realized how frustrating

31:54 it is to like have somebody right next to you

31:56 that you want to get an idea across

31:58 to, but they're willing to listen to someone that they're never

32:01 going to meet online versus you who's right in front

32:03 of them who's giving them good advice, you know?

32:08 And it and and on its face on its face, it just holds so little value.

32:13 It's this idea that everything really does just come down to your looks,

32:18 how you'll be treated, if you'll find a partner, all all this stuff.

32:21 If you if you'll be able to get certain jobs,

32:23 if you'll be able to uh be loved at all.

32:26 And not only is that thing not true because of all the reasons that you

32:30 say when a kid is little and and you're

32:33 trying to instill good confidence into them,

32:35 it's not true because if you look around, that's just not what's happening.

32:41 Like as much as we shouldn't judge on looks

32:44 and as much as we shouldn't as much as we

32:48 shouldn't put everything all of our energy and all

32:52 of our focus into just what we project outside.

32:56 We still have an awareness of how people look.

33:00 That's just human.

33:02 And that's the tough part about when you're dealing

33:04 with some of these people because they'll say a thing

33:05 that has a nugget of truth and then that nugget

33:07 of truth is what a bad actor uses to then say,

33:10 "Well, I guess people just shouldn't work on themselves

33:12 at all." And that's not what I'm saying in the least.

33:16 I'm just saying that like I've watched two women

33:20 fight over a man who was ugly like that.

33:24 Like that that happens.

33:30 That happens all the time.

33:32 It's actually crazy how much it happens.

33:37 I remember I was in college

33:38 and these these these two young ladies were going at it.

33:41 And when I say going, I mean like they were fighting.

33:44 They the only thing they were missing was a cage behind them.

33:47 Like they they were going at it, pulling each other's hair, screaming.

33:51 And when you're young like that, you're a little bit more transparent.

33:55 You don't even realize you're being transparent

33:57 in what in in what you're seeking

33:58 or how you feel and you just say stuff that's like the exact emotion.

34:03 And so one of them pulling each other's hair and thing goes, "He's mine.

34:07 She said he's mine.

34:09 She said he's mine." And I'm not going to get involved.

34:14 I'm not going to try to break the two of them up.

34:16 I know better than that because they they they were hitting hard.

34:20 [laughter] But I heard her say, "He's mine.

34:25 And I couldn't help it.

34:26 I just, you know, I was like, he's ugly.

34:32 Like the why are y'all doing this?

34:38 He clearly cheats like that.

34:43 He cheats and he's ugly.

34:44 This doesn't seem like somebody to go to fist for.

34:50 And he was there.

34:51 HE WAS THERE.

34:56 [laughter] HE was there and like look look I said it cuz I

35:00 was just focused on trying to break the two of them up.

35:02 I wasn't just unnecessarily throwing shots.

35:05 I didn't even realize he was there until I heard, "Hey, [laughter] but look,

35:17 THIS IS AND THIS is one thing that I will say about about looks

35:21 as well is that it almost doesn't matter what you look like until later,

35:28 if that makes sense.

35:29 There's there's a world where he is dating one

35:33 of them and and they like him and he he

35:39 likes them and they have a great relationship and it

35:42 doesn't even occur to me what he looks like.

35:45 Like not really.

35:47 But based on what I'm seeing,

35:48 which is of his character, these two girls are fighting.

35:52 They're fighting because they both think they have him because he cheats.

35:58 And so then him being a cheater and me

36:00 noticing that this person cheats and hearing about it

36:03 and then seeing them fight now cuz this drama

36:06 that was like unfolding right in front of us.

36:09 I just noticed cuz I have eyes.

36:12 [laughter] It's like I don't know if he's the one to hit over.

36:19 And so I think some of these things,

36:21 you know, they they become a part of it later.

36:25 I don't know if I'm making perfect sense with that, but it

36:28 but it's not as if I thought to myself,

36:32 I can't believe anyone would date him.

36:34 I just couldn't believe two two women were fighting over.

36:45 So clearly this like looks maxing of like the sexual marketplace

36:50 and and the the the sort of like

36:52 um physical economy that we have over other people,

36:56 it clearly doesn't actually play out that way in the real world.

36:59 According to all these looks maxers,

37:01 he shouldn't have been able to even speak to anyone.

37:05 [laughter] Do you know what I mean?

37:10 Like that's that's how that's their gospel.

37:13 and they act like they know how the world works.

37:15 And meanwhile, all these people who are out here doing these things,

37:18 like when I when I say doing these things, I should be clear.

37:21 I'm talking about people who are, you know,

37:24 doing like like like bone smashing on their cheeks

37:26 to try to get more contoured cheeks.

37:29 I'm talking about people that are giving themselves like disorders,

37:32 have have like unhealthy relationships with eating.

37:35 Like all of these young boys are in this position where

37:38 they're constantly thinking about how they come off, how they look.

37:41 And meanwhile, so many women like ugly guys.

37:49 Like it like [laughter] what are you doing?

37:55 I I don't know this.

37:56 [laughter] No, I'm just watching.

37:58 And I don't mean I don't mean here's the thing.

38:00 I don't mean ugly as in ugly to me.

38:03 I mean like ugly as in as soon as they

38:06 break up with this person and they start describing their face,

38:09 it's not the face of someone.

38:11 [laughter] Do you know what I mean?

38:13 I'm like, "No, I I saw him, but I guess I didn't notice all

38:16 the problems." [snorts] And when I And look look, this is the other thing, too.

38:24 We We can't discount how filters make us feel, how social makes us feel.

38:29 And that that goes for all of us.

38:31 and and how how much we see ourselves more than our grandparents saw themselves,

38:36 especially more than our great-grandparents saw themselves.

38:39 Like, mirrors have been invented.

38:42 [laughter] Mirrors had been invented,

38:44 but you didn't really see yourself 24/7 like you're capable of now.

38:51 Like re like our our greatgrandparents didn't have they didn't

38:58 have a phone [laughter] to try to take a picture

39:02 of their friend that they lifted up that the phone

39:07 then betrayed them [laughter] and was on selfie mode.

39:11 Way too close to their face.

39:14 So close to their face.

39:15 No one should have to see their face that close.

39:18 That's not how we were made.

39:20 Even when you look in the mirror, you don't go nose tonse with the mirror.

39:25 [laughter] No one should see us that close.

39:30 I feel like that that thing when you're this close, this this is crazy.

39:36 I once opened my phone, went to take a picture of my and scared

39:40 myself [laughter] cuz I wasn't expecting to see me.

39:44 I was just I had already imagined what the picture would look like.

39:46 So when I saw me, I was like,

39:47 "Oh jeez." And And then I realized that th like this close.

39:53 This is this.

39:56 [laughter] [clears throat] That's crazy.

40:01 [laughter] This is what my girlfriend sees.

40:03 This is That's insane.

40:08 No one should see you this close.

40:09 I feel like this and how we look when we're this close

40:12 to our face is probably why we close our eyes when we kiss.

40:17 [laughter] [applause]

40:23 I'm like almost positive that like No, I think if you went to Keith open eyes,

40:31 [laughter] [laughter] I think it here making that type of eye contact,

40:40 one of two things happens.

40:42 You decide not to kiss [laughter] or one of you explodes.

40:46 There's no way that anything else happens.

40:51 [laughter] Ooh, I hope I never meet two people that kiss eyes open.

41:01 That's [laughter] That's a level of intimacy I may never reach.

41:07 That's [laughter] That is terrifying.

41:13 And so you you see how how the widespread once again sort

41:20 of gospel cuz it's this thing that these young men end up living

41:24 by and how how it affects them and some of it is some

41:31 of it is like wrapped up in things that people were going to do anyway.

41:35 you're you're you're a young man and maybe you like

41:38 sports or you just like getting out there and being active,

41:43 you were already probably going to start working out anyway in a way.

41:47 But now even working out is wrapped up into this thing.

41:51 You know, there's like soft maxing,

41:53 which is the all the healthy things that like

41:56 a person can do to not just improve their app appearance,

41:59 but improve their health.

42:00 And then there's like the hard maxing stuff like the double

42:03 jaw surgery that these 17-year-old boys think that they need and everything.

42:08 And it's it's it's fascinating to watch people freak out so much about it.

42:14 Not just because they should.

42:15 This is this is an intense thing that is kicking off in a short amount of time,

42:20 but it's especially jarring cuz this is like

42:26 what it's been like the whole time for women.

42:30 I mean like like [cheering] I [applause] truly truly

42:38 I'm not I'm not saying that so that you clap.

42:41 I'm saying that because that is a a realization that I think a lot of people

42:44 didn't come to until they they saw

42:47 their like 17-year-old boy freaking out about his face.

42:50 Like it sucks that the clo we could have just been better to women and then

42:59 [cheering and applause] Well,

43:03 it's like we could have we could have just been bared away,

43:05 but now the internet and society at large like no,

43:10 we could just give boys eating disorders, too.

43:13 Like that's [laughter] that's crazy cuz it cuz that is

43:21 not how you make a a better world overall.

43:25 If if something is terrible for for someone,

43:28 it it doesn't become more equitable by it being terrible for someone else.

43:33 You you have to just make it better

43:35 for the person who is who's being harmed, you know?

43:38 Like this can't be how we do it.

43:42 This it can't that would be like instead of reparations.

43:47 [laughter] That would No, no, that would be crazy.

44:00 Imagine [applause] that'd be but that'd be a terrible world.

44:04 That would be a that'd be a very bad world to live in.

44:08 Imagine just roots playing out in reverse.

44:15 Some of the lines are still the same.

44:16 It's like, "What's your name?

44:17 Toby." Like that.

44:19 Like that.

44:20 That would be wild.

44:24 [laughter] That is That would be crazy.

44:29 But it wouldn't be better.

44:34 That's not how you make life better.

44:38 Yeah.

44:38 I don't I don't know cuz some of some

44:39 of it feels like it should be ridiculous on its face.

44:43 Like there's this whole short fishing thing that that some of these guys

44:47 do because in in in the mindset of a lot of these people,

44:51 it's like 6 foot or nothing.

44:53 If you're not a 6-foot man, you have lower value to women,

44:57 you have lower value in the world.

44:59 And that's just not only is that not true in any practical sense,

45:02 it's like even if women say their their preference is like 6 foot whatever,

45:09 look at their husband.

45:13 [laughter]

45:13 Do you know what I mean?

45:13 Like most people end up dating and marrying

45:16 people that are like about their height.

45:18 Like there are some people yet, yeah,

45:19 I guess it was a whole deal breaker for them.

45:21 But whenever I meet people and I meet couples,

45:24 I don't meet a 4ft2 woman [laughter] who has to be picked up by her 6'5 husband.

45:35 I'm not saying it never happens.

45:36 I'm just saying that's not the that's not

45:38 the norm that people are that people are pushing out.

45:41 And I don't know, you know, you see these guys,

45:44 there was there was there was this one dude,

45:46 he was streaming and he was explaining how he gets around it.

45:49 So, he already wears lifts in his shoes so he can seem 6 foot,

45:55 which is I guess if you want to be stylish, I don't know.

46:00 Like, but you're really trying to act like you're a different height

46:03 than you are for like But what if you finally find a person?

46:07 Cuz all these things are to find a person.

46:09 All these things are so that someone likes you and they

46:11 want to be with you and that they love you.

46:13 And if if that happens, you're going to get to know someone intimately.

46:17 And intimately, all of us are gross.

46:22 [laughter] The whole point of someone loving you is to look past how like deep,

46:32 unsettling, [laughter] weird, offbeat you are.

46:38 like the most put together people.

46:41 Okay.

46:41 All right.

46:44 When I tell you that some of the most

46:48 [laughter] gorgeous people that I've ever met,

46:51 if you actually like spend some time with them

46:53 and go to their house or with slobs.

46:56 Slobs.

46:56 They're just they're so busy looking good.

46:58 They don't pick up anything.

47:01 [laughter] You walk into their apartment just stepping on stuff.

47:05 Men and women, by the way, you're just stepping on stuff.

47:08 You finally step on something, it sticks.

47:12 [laughter] Yeah.

47:13 Yeah.

47:13 Someone's got to get to know them intimately.

47:15 Someone's going to be like, "Barbara, just pick it up." You know what I mean?

47:18 Like that's what love is.

47:21 Like, like, if you are seeking love, it is past all of this like stuff.

47:26 If you're trying to hook up with people, fine.

47:27 Yes, you're going to have to finagle your way into look like

47:30 this person that maybe they want to be with for one night, whatever.

47:34 But if you're really trying to get companionship, none of this stuff matters.

47:38 And so the idea that you could be so obsessed

47:41 with your height is is it it blows my mind, you know?

47:45 And that's not just because I'm not tall.

47:47 That makes me sound like, you know,

47:52 cuz sometimes you get to talking like this and then people are like, "Yeah,

47:55 from down there." Like I mean it's like no it's easy to find

48:02 love when you're close to the ground where all the people are.

48:05 You know [laughter] no truly it blew my mind.

48:09 You're wearing lifts so that you can seem 6 foot as if women walk

48:13 around with a ruler as if they're like ah I got a yard stick.

48:19 We'll see.

48:22 you know, and don't get me wrong,

48:24 I understand that for for some women, especially younger women,

48:27 they make a huge deal out of maybe height or or like, you know, look, whatever.

48:32 And that's if you want to be with that person.

48:34 But if you're trying to be with a person, that stuff melts away so quickly.

48:39 The the the time you get to spend with someone,

48:41 whether you go on a date or you've been with someone for years,

48:44 like all the quality time you spend with a person

48:46 has so little to do with any of that stuff.

48:49 All these things are just like little tricks and after a while it's just you.

48:54 So when it's just you, are you worth being around?

48:59 That that's like I think maybe the scariest question.

49:02 And so you do everything that you can when you're

49:04 in this sort of mindset to dress up as much as possible.

49:08 So it doesn't even matter.

49:10 Like maybe I'm a horrible person deep down, but I look good.

49:14 I I I project all of the right types of confidence.

49:18 people want to be around me.

49:19 So then I've put up enough facade that I should be fine.

49:23 And that's just not the way the world works.

49:26 You know, it's not at all like like every external factor is just a factor.

49:31 It's not the whole of a person.

49:32 And you know that because billionaires are divorced.

49:38 You would think [laughter] billions would be enough.

49:45 Billions would be enough to wait it out.

49:48 You know what I mean?

49:49 On the till death do us part part.

49:51 But no, even with money, if you don't want to be around a person,

49:56 if you don't like what's in the inside and what you see, you get away, you know.

50:02 And so you see these guys lifts in the shoes.

50:06 I couldn't get over it.

50:06 You're like 510.

50:08 You're already taller, but then you wearing the lift so you could be six feet.

50:14 And then someone asked him on the stream, "What?

50:17 But what do you do?

50:19 What do you do when you know, let's say there's a young lady comes home

50:23 with you and it's time to take the shoes off?

50:26 You can't [laughter] you can't live in the shoes forever.

50:32 What are you going to do?" And he was like, "I have a plan for that." [laughter]

50:39 And I was like, unless your plan is to somehow make her shorter,

50:47 [laughter] I don't know how you have a plan for this.

50:50 Like, unless your plan is chop her feet off.

50:55 No, she's going to realize you're not 6 foot.

50:58 Especially if you're ever out in public and you forget your lifts.

51:01 Maybe you decided to be comfortable that day and then you

51:04 walk up to a man who's actually 6 feet and it's like, "Oh, there's a difference.

51:08 you slouching, you lose a vertebrae.

51:14 And he was like, I have a I have a a plan for that.

51:16 And so what he does, or at least what he says he does,

51:21 at least what he says he does

51:23 [laughter] is he takes his shoes off strategically.

51:27 So you, you know, you brought a beautiful young woman home.

51:31 You're in your apartment.

51:33 She comes in, you're like, "Please have a seat." She sits on the couch already.

51:38 She's at disadvantage.

51:42 [laughter] So now she's sitting down.

51:50 This is a perfect opportunity.

51:51 You get behind your kitchen countertop, your island, whatever you got.

51:57 And across the entire apartment, he had laid out boxes.

52:05 [laughter] He got boxes everywhere.

52:10 He got He got random boxes and he'll kick

52:13 his shoes off and step on the box real quick.

52:16 [laughter] Measured it out perfectly on the box.

52:21 He's 6 feet tall.

52:24 And he's like, "Yeah, but what if you know what if she likes

52:28 you and she wants to move things somewhere else?

52:31 What what do you do eventually?

52:33 You got to walk away from box." Like,

52:34 "Yes." And then you strategically get to the next box.

52:41 [laughter] Imagine her being like,

52:45 "Why don't we why don't we go back to to your room?" Oh, yeah.

52:51 Yeah.

52:51 That sounds great.

52:53 That sounds fantastic.

52:54 What was that?

52:59 [laughter] [laughter] She's like, "Are you are you coming to the room?" Yeah,

53:18 I'll be there in just a sec.

53:19 I think you DROPPED SOMETHING.

53:21 [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] NO, IT'S INSANE.

53:36 It's insane.

53:39 And I I think sometimes the internet whether it is filters or whether it is

53:43 the sort of propaganda it it it it can warp your idea to what life is.

53:50 You know [snorts] like you see you see these people

53:56 who are genuinely taught over time to hate themselves,

54:01 hate how they look, to not think they're ever going to find anyone.

54:07 And that is the perfect opportunity to sell

54:09 them something cuz that's what it is.

54:14 I can sell you what you're missing and you

54:16 happen to be missing exactly what I'm selling.

54:19 And when you're young and impressionable,

54:20 you don't really understand the the grift.

54:24 You don't really get it because right now

54:26 the top people in Looks Maxing are all young.

54:29 They're all they're all at like their physical prime.

54:34 I wonder how many fans they'll have in 30 years.

54:40 Do you know what I mean?

54:41 Or do they get booted by the community that they started?

54:46 Because there's nothing built around it that's real community.

54:50 It's everybody just vying to look better than everyone else,

54:54 but based off of like metrics that are made up in real time.

54:58 And half of it is like eugenics repackaged.

55:03 You know, a lot a lot of this stuff is like is is scary,

55:08 not just in in what it does people,

55:09 but how it makes people feel about themselves.

55:12 No.

55:12 And and look, I I understand, you know,

55:15 I've been like I've been in in a version of where those young guys are.

55:21 And so I understand that it can be incredibly enticing that yeah this thing

55:27 do this thing either change yourself in this way or do this action

55:32 and it will work and it not only is it not true but like

55:37 you you haven't lived enough life to know it's not going to be true.

55:40 And so so then you you do these things either to yourself

55:44 or in in pursuit of someone and you end up disappointed.

55:49 And then the the worst trick that all these things

55:52 play on people is that when it doesn't work out, it's somehow still your fault.

55:57 It's not it's not something that they did.

55:59 They're not lying.

56:00 They're not full of it.

56:01 It's like something that you did and you didn't do it

56:03 right and you didn't do it like I said and whatever.

56:06 And and and I don't know.

56:07 I've just watched like being in relationships now, being being with people.

56:11 It's like I've I've seen how little

56:15 looks end up mattering over time, especially,

56:19 you know, like obviously attraction is is at varying levels of important

56:24 to people and it is what like that first impression is.

56:28 It's like I didn't know you could read from across the room like like this.

56:34 You see someone and you like how they look and you and you approach them

56:39 or you you meet someone and there there's

56:42 like a spark there like chemistry is real,

56:45 you know, but like a lasting relationship.

56:49 It's like if you really want your your woman to be happy,

56:54 you don't need the perfect cheek or bone structure.

56:57 You just need to like hype her up when she's complaining about her day.

57:05 [laughter] You know what I mean?

57:06 She comes home in a bad mood and she's

57:08 telling you a story about somebody who did her wrong.

57:12 You know what you got to do?

57:13 Every man in here, this is important.

57:14 You know what you have to do?

57:16 You have to bring up another time this woman did her wrong.

57:25 If you if you if you if you're trying to win, if you're trying to win at life,

57:30 all you got to do listen to the whole story, whatever she whatever she did,

57:33 whatever she did at work, whatever she and then just be like, "Yeah,

57:36 and and she forgot your birthday." I wasn't even going

57:44 to bring it up again cuz you you know what I mean?

57:46 Cuz you would let it go cuz you're a good person.

57:48 But like it it's bothered me ever since it happened.

57:55 [applause] You know, if I'm being if I'm being honest and that that's you know,

57:58 you too good to people, baby.

57:59 That's your problem.

58:00 You know, you you out here doing this community service with friendship.

58:05 No, don't no more charity.

58:06 You know what I mean?

58:07 She don't deserve it.

58:09 [laughter] You know, I told you I told you to cut her off,

58:13 but you know, you're too gracious.

58:17 [laughter] This will require listening every time.

58:23 So that's also part of [laughter] you have to remember

58:27 things to be able to bring things up again.

58:29 So that is that is a bigger part of it.

58:32 You're going to have to listen every you

58:33 have to start to know and remember the characters.

58:38 [laughter] Oh, cuz it's cuz it's rough because then you have

58:48 people in your life that you that you you

58:52 look at that might be going through some

58:53 of this stuff and you want them to listen to you.

58:57 You want them to see the value that they have by listening to you.

59:00 You're being honest with them.

59:02 This is a young person in front of you that's impressionable and everything,

59:05 but you see so much good, so much potential, and so much genuine like beauty

59:10 from the character that this person has in front of you.

59:13 But it's hard for them to listen to you.

59:16 You know, it's as hard for them to listen to you as it

59:20 was for me to listen to the nice man who took me fishing.

59:25 It's like they know you're older than them

59:29 and they know that you probably know more about life,

59:31 but you don't know as much about this moment as they do.

59:34 So then it's hard to listen to you.

59:37 It becomes it becomes even tougher because you watch [clears throat]

59:43 how how how affected they are.

59:45 Like this thing it obviously you could just turn things off and walk away,

59:50 but like the internet's a part of our lives.

59:53 It doesn't just go away every day the way it used to, you know?

1:00:00 And so you you have you yeah you have

1:00:05 to as best as possible maintain a certain understanding

1:00:11 in these in these young people of of what the people

1:00:14 that are telling them something or selling them something are actually doing.

1:00:19 You know like how much does this thing change your life?

1:00:25 You know cuz some of these things are are permanent.

1:00:27 Like once again, they have these little things

1:00:30 in there that no one could really argue against,

1:00:33 you know, like some of it's like that uh they call it like soft maxing,

1:00:37 which is just doing the healthy stuff,

1:00:38 like just a little bit of exercise here and there

1:00:40 or like um eating eating well and stuff like that.

1:00:44 It's like, yeah, that's fine, but that's also like wrapped up in the world,

1:00:50 so it makes it even harder to escape.

1:00:55 And I don't I don't know a real way [snorts] forward with some of that.

1:01:02 Like it it's up to every individual and the relationships that they

1:01:05 have to make sure that you do as best as you can.

1:01:10 You instill this sort of like confidence in in in young people and that you

1:01:14 don't ever assume that they feel good

1:01:18 about something that you haven't talked about.

1:01:20 You can only rape people nonstop.

1:01:23 You can only um assess everyone else

1:01:27 non-stop when you are deeply insecure yourself.

1:01:29 And you only have time to like obsess over who

1:01:33 makes sense with who when you're like deeply insecure about yourself.

1:01:38 It was at my most insecure that I was a real hater.

1:01:43 No, I was a mega hater.

1:01:44 I I'd see two people holding hands and just want to kick the hands apart.

1:01:53 No, no.

1:01:53 When I was like when I was like what I had to be like 22

1:01:59 and I was I was single and I

1:02:01 don't know wasn't feeling good about myself sometimes.

1:02:04 I just see a couple holding hands taking up the whole sidewalk.

1:02:10 Either be two people or be one person because like why are

1:02:14 you walking down the sidewalk taking up as much as pos over here?

1:02:18 doing this.

1:02:18 I can't pass.

1:02:19 I just wanted to.

1:02:22 [laughter] Oh.

1:02:28 And then and then look, you meet someone and then when you meet someone,

1:02:32 all of a sudden everything's not so bad.

1:02:35 And so it seems like that entire time maybe no one had a problem but me.

1:02:40 And it takes all the stuff that has always

1:02:42 taken to get around and over some of that.

1:02:45 You know, the people that that love you love you for a reason.

1:02:50 And the worth that you have isn't like something you have to build to.

1:02:53 It's intrinsic, you know.

1:02:56 And then, you know, yeah,

1:02:58 if if if there's something that you don't like about yourself,

1:03:03 it's not an indictment on your personality.

1:03:05 Whether you change it or not, you're still you.

1:03:08 is actually why you find people who are

1:03:11 deeply deeply into this stuff are still so unhappy.

1:03:15 By the logic of the thing, they should be the happiest.

1:03:18 They could cut a stone with their chin.

1:03:22 [laughter] Do you know what I mean?

1:03:26 Because and and that's the thing.

1:03:28 It's like you're chasing beauty, but beauty is is relative.

1:03:30 So there is no top.

1:03:32 There is no like 10 out of 10.

1:03:35 Not really.

1:03:35 And not for everybody.

1:03:36 Meanwhile, you have two good-looking women fighting over an ugly man.

1:03:44 It's like that's that's crazy.

1:03:48 I like look look I'm all I'm only piling on him because

1:03:54 his character is so bad that I feel like it's fair enough.

1:03:58 But he was built like Lego.

1:04:00 Lake key.

1:04:02 [laughter] Okay.

1:04:04 Y'all know y'all play with Legos.

1:04:06 You know exactly what I'm talking about.

1:04:08 [laughter] [laughter] Even when I was like, "He's ugly." He was like,

1:04:19 "Hey, [laughter] no, no, it shouldn't be this difficult, you know.

1:04:36 It should it it shouldn't like the technology

1:04:39 getting better was supposed to be better for us.

1:04:42 Remember when we thought we would like float by now?" [laughter] You remember?

1:04:48 You remember you see those like movies in black and white where the like old

1:04:52 docks and they ask people what they think the world's going to be like in 2026.

1:04:59 And even when they answer it's crazy.

1:05:01 It's crazy what their answers were going to be,

1:05:04 you know, cuz they didn't even talk like us.

1:05:07 Like I think we'll have flying cars.

1:05:09 It's like [laughter] [laughter] No man, this guy.

1:05:25 [laughter] This guy was so wrong.

1:05:31 [laughter] No, you you hear all these like in things we

1:05:35 would have invented and things that we would do and stuff.

1:05:41 You know, there was a whole um movement way back in the day.

1:05:45 It's kind of like a little bit of what

1:05:47 the Jetsons was based off of because there was

1:05:49 this idea that like technology would be so advanced

1:05:52 that we wouldn't even really work the way we work now.

1:05:54 It wouldn't work to be able to live.

1:05:56 We would work at jobs that forded humanity,

1:06:00 but then a lot of the a lot of the other work would go to robots,

1:06:04 would go to like intelligent things and everything.

1:06:07 And it's like we we are headed there in the worst way.

1:06:09 Like we are headed there if like [laughter] we

1:06:14 we're headed there in the way that like George

1:06:16 Jetson is just sitting on his like futuristic couch

1:06:20 like how is gas $7 like that's like that.

1:06:27 No, we're close.

1:06:28 We're close.

1:06:28 We got some of the AI but you know robots are on the way.

1:06:35 Because I think about how my my grandparents and even like if if you have enough

1:06:42 of a of like a strong family history

1:06:45 to know the stories or even your great great grandparents,

1:06:50 you know, how we have such a romantic

1:06:53 view of their love because their their love felt

1:06:58 more immediate and it felt stronger and it

1:07:02 in a way it felt just as scarce, right?

1:07:04 like there there would be something that was there

1:07:11 that was like a sticking point in their story whether

1:07:14 it was World War II or it was it was

1:07:17 like something going on at home and and we don't

1:07:23 really think of them as constantly trying to one

1:07:26 up each other and constantly trying to like date up

1:07:29 or what does this person have or you know you

1:07:31 you hear your grandma tell a story about your granddad.

1:07:35 It's like, "Oh, we met at a at a dance

1:07:39 hall and he was dashing like a so sweet." Yes.

1:07:48 Yes.

1:07:48 And he walked right up to me and he asked if he could buy me some honey wine.

1:07:54 [laughter] And you're like, "Oh, that's adorable." Yes.

1:07:59 And then we then we drank and we drank and we woke up in the neighbor's barn.

1:08:04 I'm like, "Oh, OH." [screaming] [laughter]

1:08:16 [laughter] [laughter] That happened to my buddy.

1:08:27 He asked his grandma how [laughter] how he

1:08:34 asked his grandma how [laughter] she met her grandad.

1:08:38 And then she just hit him with a plot twist and he was like,

1:08:41 "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

1:08:42 wait, wait." [laughter] Cuz she just kept talking.

1:08:50 He was like, "I'm not trying to hear the rest of the story.

1:08:56 [laughter] And so there there are plenty of ways where

1:09:01 we're very very blessed with what we have now.

1:09:06 You know, like there's only life that we can live,

1:09:10 so we might as well appreciate it for for what it is.

1:09:13 And I'm very thankful that I am alive now, that I grew up when I did,

1:09:19 that I hopefully grow old to see an even better world and everything.

1:09:23 But I'd be lying if I said that sometimes I wasn't

1:09:26 just a bit envious of how my granddad didn't really if

1:09:31 he didn't want to he didn't really have to think about

1:09:34 his appearance until he came across like a lake or something.

1:09:39 [laughter] You know what I mean?

1:09:45 It was either mirrors or water.

1:09:46 That's the only time you saw your face.

1:09:50 You could walk around all day with something

1:09:52 on your face [laughter] cuz it's very easy to be self-conscious about how you

1:10:00 look because at any given point throughout life, some of us look dumb.

1:10:06 It just h it's going to happen to everybody.

1:10:08 You're going to you're going to pronounce the wrong word very loud.

1:10:14 You're going to say fish when you mean worm.

1:10:20 [laughter] You know what I mean?

1:10:21 Like we're all going to do it.

1:10:26 Oh, I was I was in Chicago years ago.

1:10:32 This is this is where I I came up, where I started and everything in Chicago.

1:10:36 And I tell people all the time to visit Chicago.

1:10:39 I know it has a reputation for being very cold,

1:10:41 but when you are talking about Chicago fall or spring,

1:10:45 there are very few places in the world as beautiful as Chicago in those seasons.

1:10:49 It's gorgeous.

1:10:50 It feels like they have the golden hour for like half the day.

1:10:54 Is it's amazing.

1:10:55 And I loved living there when I was there.

1:10:58 And I knew it was a good place to live, too, cuz I enjoyed it and I was broke.

1:11:05 Whenever you ask people, Whenever you ask people like if a place is nice,

1:11:09 you never ask someone with money.

1:11:12 For people with money, everywhere is nice.

1:11:15 They're having money there.

1:11:19 This is crazy.

1:11:20 You know, you ask somebody ask somebody about different places,

1:11:24 different cities, and they're like, "Oh, it's wonderful.

1:11:26 You can." It's like, "Yeah, but you can go to the best restaurant anywhere.

1:11:29 I need If you want to know if a place is nice, ask a broke person.

1:11:32 Ask a person who like has to enjoy the outdoors.

1:11:38 [laughter] No, I was I was broke when I lived in Chicago.

1:11:43 And so I loved it though.

1:11:45 And there was one time I had day off.

1:11:48 And so I just went out, ran some errands and everything.

1:11:52 Was having a great time.

1:11:53 This was like a phenomenal day.

1:11:55 Saw some friends.

1:11:56 I came home and then realized that basically the entire day I had my pocket out.

1:12:07 [laughter] [laughter] Some of you don't seem

1:12:15 to understand what a big deal this is.

1:12:20 I I had my phone in my pocket.

1:12:22 My phone took up almost all my pocket.

1:12:24 So, I went in my pocket and pulled out my phone.

1:12:26 My pocket went inside out and then I put my pocket back in my jacket.

1:12:30 So, I never touched my pocket again.

1:12:32 So, then my pocket was just out the rest of the day.

1:12:36 My pocket was out, but my Okay.

1:12:43 No.

1:12:43 Clearly, no.

1:12:44 Clearly, clearly y'all don't see what the big deal is.

1:12:47 Okay.

1:12:48 So, so no, no, this is fine.

1:12:50 This is fine.

1:12:51 This is This is what examples are for.

1:12:52 Okay.

1:12:55 [laughter] [laughter] What do you What do you think of me now?

1:13:02 What do you think of me right now?

1:13:04 What do you think of me now?

1:13:07 [laughter] Okay.

1:13:09 What do you think of me now?

1:13:25 No, no, no.

1:13:26 Let's check.

1:13:26 Let's check.

1:13:27 Let's check.

1:13:27 Let's check.

1:13:28 [laughter] What do you What do you think of me now?

1:13:32 What do you think of me now?

1:13:35 Do I look broke?

1:13:38 [laughter] Do I look seven?

1:13:47 [laughter] It is devastating to be out in public with your pocket.

1:13:54 I got home and caught myself with my pocket

1:13:58 out and realized I didn't have as many friends as I thought I had because I

1:14:03 was out with friends with my pocket out just,

1:14:05 you know, [laughter] hanging out talking.

1:14:08 A It's good to see y'all.

1:14:09 This is This is horri.

1:14:14 I went shopping [laughter] with my pocket out.

1:14:20 I'll tell you this, when you go shopping with your pocket out,

1:14:24 doesn't look like you're going to be making purchases.

1:14:26 [laughter] I was so retroactively embarrassed.

1:14:32 I I talked TO A CLERK.

1:14:36 I WAS OVER HERE ASKING PRICES.

1:14:37 cuz I was like, "Oh, how much?" [laughter] Oh, $29.99.

1:14:45 That's reasonable.

1:14:46 That's [laughter] not going to get it today, but I'll be back.

1:14:50 I'll be back.

1:14:56 This is insane.

1:14:57 I I went and saw I went dancing.

1:15:00 [laughter] I danced with people with my pocket out.

1:15:06 [laughter] Oh, if you ever want to clear a dance floor of women,

1:15:12 [laughter] just mosy on over with your pocket out.

1:15:19 [laughter] I was standing on dance floor like, "Wow,

1:15:28 everybody must need a drink." I was Oh, man.

1:15:32 Charlotte, y'all been amazing.

1:15:34 Thank you so much.

1:15:34 I appreciate you.

1:15:36 When I [music] knock it when I