Nikki Glaser on sex, shame, and self-acceptance

0:00 Stand up for me is like sex.

0:01 Like I enjoy it.

0:03 It's something I like to do.

0:04 It like lets me behave in ways that I would not normally behave.

0:08 Say things and do things that I am otherwise ashamed of doing.

0:13 I'm secure in my insecurities is is what I feel I am.

0:16 If I am as honest as possible and people still like me,

0:19 then I guess I feel likable deep down because I

0:22 think there's something about this business that feels so fake.

0:25 I got to get kids.

0:26 That's maybe the my problem.

0:27 You can borrow mine if you like.

0:28 I've got a lot.

0:28 Um, and they're all different ages.

0:36 Hi everyone.

0:37 Today my guest is comedian Nikki Glazer.

0:40 Nikki is one of the top comedians out there right now.

0:42 She's hosted the Golden Globes twice,

0:44 has a new comedy special called Good Girl on Hulu

0:46 and was just named one of Time's most influential people.

0:50 She's really kind of owning the moment right now with the comedy,

0:52 especially about women and about herself.

0:54 She's also very self-deprecating in a way that doesn't feel hateful to yourself.

0:59 Sometimes women comics and many comics can feel like that, but she

1:02 actually is sort of celebrating life and her own life.

1:04 Uh, and she actually lives in the Midwest,

1:07 which is really interesting and has sort of at a moment in her career

1:10 where she really can reflect on how she got there and where she's going.

1:13 Nikki is also very funny but very thoughtful.

1:16 And this is a really fun one.

1:17 So, don't go anywhere.

1:19 Nikki, thanks for coming on on.

1:22 Thank you so much for having me.

1:23 It's an honor.

1:24 So, let's start with Good Girl.

1:26 I'm a huge fan.

1:26 Obviously, many people are.

1:28 Um, and I love all your different appearances,

1:30 but this is this new special, Good Girl, which comes out this week.

1:34 It's your fifth one.

1:35 Um, but you've expressed a lot of fear and anxiety about its release,

1:38 and you said you don't even want anyone to watch it.

1:44 It just I don't know.

1:45 Oh, I just I kind of had this revelation when I

1:48 was um editing it that this um I don't or just now that it's like coming out,

1:54 I guess the editing process is a whole

1:56 other kind of torturous uh you know, self-examination,

1:59 but now that it's coming out and people are starting

2:01 to see it and I was hearing from my publicists,

2:04 you know, like you know, we've sent out, you know,

2:07 early copies of it, so people are watching it like today.

2:09 It was just this yeah this sense of doom that um

2:13 uh people are going to see a side of myself

2:16 that um maybe is a little bit more darker than I

2:19 I guess my image is now that I've in the past couple

2:22 you know two or three years have had a more mainstream

2:25 image and there's maybe something in me that wants to protect

2:29 that and uh to to keep that kind of uh popularity

2:35 coming in because it's you know made my life a lot easier.

2:38 I've I've used this analogy before,

2:40 but I'll use it again because it's just so apt for it

2:42 is that I just feel like stand up for me is like sex.

2:46 Like I enjoy it.

2:47 It's something I like to do.

2:49 It like lets me uh behave in ways that I would not normally behave,

2:53 say things and do things that I am otherwise ashamed of doing.

2:58 And then and it's and when I started doing standup, you know,

3:01 it was just like open mic nights and just clubs where there

3:04 was no worry of it being recorded or anyone being able to

3:09 even, you know, review it.

3:10 I mean, I never put out clips online or anything.

3:12 And so it was like even if people came up

3:13 to me after the show and quoted me back to myself,

3:16 I could almost deny what I had said because there was no proof of it.

3:19 So it was like this safe space.

3:21 So, it's to me when I think about my standup,

3:23 it's like hearing people kind of talk about,

3:27 you know, if someone after sex were to be like,

3:29 "Oh, that thing you said or that one time you did that thing," you're just like,

3:32 "No, no, no, no, no.

3:33 I we shall not speak of this.

3:35 We shall I don't want to hear about it.

3:36 It's just so it's it's embarrassing to me." But, um, I'm, you know,

3:42 so when people see my special, I kind of change the subject really quickly.

3:45 I just want kind of move on to something else.

3:48 No, no, no.

3:49 It's I have to promote it.

3:51 Um, but it's We can talk about Pete Hegathth if you'd like.

3:54 If

3:55 No, thank you.

3:56 I I He just quoted.

3:58 Yeah.

3:58 Who just puliction?

4:00 Pulp fiction.

4:01 As a Bible.

4:02 Yes.

4:02 I It's just It's, you know, it's there's no surprise there.

4:07 I know.

4:07 You really can't.

4:08 So, do you get like this with all your specials?

4:11 I do.

4:11 I think I I just realized that um I just started to explore

4:16 that feeling because it's it's it's I'm like this with everything I I put out.

4:20 Not everything because there's some things that I don't have

4:22 a problem watching if it's I'm acting or if I'm

4:26 singing or like any kind of but when I'm I'm

4:30 being myself um I I have a hard time watching it.

4:33 I think it's like editing a special is

4:35 the most uncomfortable thing I've ever done in my life.

4:37 And honestly, in the past, I've had to delay the releases of specials because I

4:42 just couldn't watch it and I couldn't I couldn't edit it.

4:45 And I and I'm not someone who pushes deadlines,

4:48 but that's the only time in my life that I

4:49 I've had to because it's you want to have the editable.

4:52 Yeah, you do.

4:53 Because sometimes you outsource and you go, "Oh,

4:55 I'll trust my friends to look at it and give

4:57 me their notes on it." And then in the end,

5:00 it I be the the the self-consciousness that makes me not want to watch myself is

5:05 the same kind of self-consciousness that makes me

5:07 as the only one who could who could edit it.

5:09 It's you because it's right.

5:11 I mean, I just did that with a special person

5:12 for Santa and I like very much was like, "It's me.

5:15 Don't tell me what I am like and and included things." You know,

5:19 everyone had a different opinion.

5:20 So, h how do you overcome that?

5:23 How do you do you not, you know?

5:26 Uh the the one time I struggled with it,

5:28 I was reading um the tools by that one guy Schultz, I'm thinking his name is.

5:35 I forget his name, but he he's kind of controversial now,

5:38 but um there was one quote in it.

5:41 It was like um I love fear.

5:43 Fear sets me free.

5:45 And I was just repeating that to myself over

5:47 and over of like I just have to be uncomfortable.

5:50 I just I mean, honestly, the only reason I do it is because I have

5:52 a team of people that are asking me to do it.

5:55 Otherwise, I probably would never release a special ever

5:58 or if it just wasn't a part of my career.

6:00 I would love to just have standup be this thing

6:02 that is just live in the moment and there's no

6:05 which is your favorite part right so Phil Stuts Phil Stuts is the

6:09 author Phil Stuts Phil St.

6:10 are.

6:10 Yes.

6:11 So, you eat fear for breakfast.

6:12 Is that the Yeah, that's the thing of like I love fear.

6:15 I run into fear.

6:17 Picture fear as like a wall that you have to run into.

6:19 And so, I was I kind of go into that of like I know

6:22 that my self-esteem is built upon doing

6:25 things that are hard and conquering them.

6:27 So, I know that on the other side of doing

6:29 this horribly uncomfortable thing is uh is me feeling better about myself.

6:34 And um and it and it it does always, you know, wind up that way.

6:37 the thing that I fear most of, you know, regretting some decision I made.

6:41 I mean, there's so so many regrets I make in the edit

6:44 where I I look back and I think, "Oh my god,

6:46 why didn't I just say this extra line

6:48 or why didn't I um describe this part differently

6:50 or why didn't I make a funnier face

6:52 at this moment?" And um and I just have to think,

6:55 okay, you know, I've worked a lot on that of um you know,

6:59 uh listening to a lot of Sam Harris uh meditations

7:02 and podcasts about regret and how um there's no point in it.

7:06 First of all, and also there's something that me not doing that funny

7:11 face or me not making that extra tag that really only fits that joke.

7:14 I can't really use that again.

7:16 There will be some use for it someday.

7:18 You know, even in talking about it right now,

7:20 this is a use for me regretting something is talking about regret here with you.

7:25 You can also you can also editing is a constant process.

7:28 Like I know um Mike Biglia does things over

7:31 and changes them on the course of his journey essentially.

7:35 Yes.

7:35 Constantly.

7:36 Well, that's my problem is that I should be watching and listening

7:39 to myself through the course of putting together a special and I don't.

7:42 I just go off of memory and if I were to even watch my set one

7:46 time before and review it like everyone tells me to, I could be so much better.

7:51 So, I think there's always just that fear of realizing um my potential.

7:56 It's not about

7:56 you want to look at yourself or you don't

7:58 want to look at because one of the main topics in the special is your appearance

8:01 and the pressure to maintain it which is interesting.

8:04 There's a line where you say,

8:05 "When you look[ __] your life is great." And a lot of your jokes

8:08 in this center on how you embrace

8:09 that harsh truth because it helped you professionally.

8:12 Talk a little bit about that because it's a lot about that.

8:15 Yeah, I I actually just was rereading Tina Fay's Bossy Pants and she

8:21 had a great part in that that really synthesized everything I want

8:24 to say about that is that when you appe like don't ever she

8:27 said um one of the things she learned from Lauren Michaels is that

8:31 don't feel bad about asking for a makeup touchup or perfecting

8:34 your lighting or making sure that a scene that you're, you know,

8:38 putting together on SNL is dressed well and and and detailed

8:42 and pretty because if people are drawn to it optically,

8:47 they're going to hear you more.

8:48 So, I think in the end, it's just about really wanting to be heard and feeling

8:52 like when you are pretty um and and stunning looking,

8:58 both men and women are drawn to watch you

9:01 and then therefore listen to what you have to say.

9:04 H interesting.

9:04 Does it bother you at all?

9:05 Because it was really interesting because I

9:07 was watching when you were talking about it,

9:08 I was like, she thinks she looks bad.

9:10 You know what I mean?

9:10 you know, I mean, male I mean,

9:13 the obvious question is male comedians don't face that same kind of in fact,

9:16 many of them do not look good in any way whatsoever.

9:19 No, they don't.

9:19 And they lean into that and um and I'm I'm very envious of um being able to not

9:24 have to care about that stuff because it is

9:26 so time consuming and I feel like I would

9:28 get a lot more done and I would just be more rested and uh just a more well-

9:33 balanced person if I didn't spend so much time

9:35 on all the upkeep to to look a certain way.

9:38 But then there's a part of me that also

9:39 feels bad that they don't get a chance to really

9:42 level up and that they kind of don't have

9:45 as many options to draw the eye as as women do.

9:48 So, you know, we're getting into manosphere

9:50 talk here of like women just, you know, but there is a part of that that I I

9:55 do have some compassion for with men where like they

9:58 they if they have a zip look max, you know, it's a thing.

10:01 Looks maxing is a thing.

10:03 No.

10:03 Yes.

10:03 They they they could um break their bones

10:06 with a hammer and see how that works out.

10:08 He's not doing very well today.

10:10 No, he's not.

10:11 No, he's not.

10:11 But yeah, and so it's Yeah, it's it's something that I I struggle with.

10:15 I'm both grateful for it, but I also resent it deeply and I'm also terrified

10:19 of it it eventually kind of uh falling away from me.

10:22 So you you made it material.

10:23 No, you were talking about facelifts.

10:25 That was very funny.

10:26 People come come before you with their um bad facelifts presumably.

10:32 Yeah.

10:31 Yeah.

10:31 Now men are in the bad fac.

10:35 Yeah, they're getting them now, too.

10:36 And um and I get why.

10:38 I mean, it's really there's really good work

10:40 out there now that can be done really subtly.

10:43 You kind of you can't you don't notice it as much anymore.

10:45 And um and so it's that's the other thing is like

10:48 the more success I've had and the more money I have,

10:52 the more options I have to look hotter.

10:54 And it kind of feels like if you aren't doing everything you can

10:59 and reaching again your potential in that realm,

11:02 you're failing in some way.

11:03 And there's almost like a wisfulness for

11:07 when I used to not be able to afford Botox.

11:10 And I could say, "Okay, well, I look like[ __] because I can't afford to look

11:13 hot." And now that I can afford to look hot,

11:15 it just feels like, God, why am I not doing this thing?

11:17 And oh my gosh, they came up with and I should be doing that laser.

11:20 And then there's another.

11:20 And then you do that laser.

11:21 And then two months later, you go in and they go, "Oh, no.

11:24 That laser removes the fat on your face.

11:25 You need the fat on your face." So, there's and the peptides.

11:28 I mean, I just listened to you talk to um that guy

11:31 about them and I'm I'm I'm so glad to hear that.

11:34 Uh maybe I shouldn't be doing those because I was for a second

11:37 and then I fell off because I didn't feel any difference.

11:39 That's correct.

11:40 I won't go into it, but men are more into it than everything.

11:42 I'm getting yelled at by a series of gay men

11:44 right now and like I don't really care what you say.

11:46 I mean, sure, use it.

11:48 Knock yourself out.

11:49 But one of the things it's sort of it is that vicious like although I was just

11:52 thinking as you were talking I was like I

11:54 can't think of a male comic who's actually hot.

11:56 I mean I can think of a lot of actors.

12:00 Who who is a male and there's some goodlooking ones.

12:05 I mean, um, I don't want to name

12:08 I can think of

12:09 I don't want to give them any credit because

12:11 they're I'm not a such a fan of their material,

12:15 but there are some that are attractive and but it is

12:19 distracting and I think that it it hurts them in the end.

12:22 Oh, interesting.

12:22 I think it's a very low bar for men.

12:24 I have to say

12:25 it is a low bar.

12:26 I mean, it's and you know,

12:27 it's it couldn't be truer that just like men just age.

12:31 We just accept their aging a lot more and we trust

12:34 them more as they age and we think they sound smarter

12:36 and have more to say and we let them pause longer

12:39 and take longer to tell stories and we hang on their every word.

12:42 Whereas, I just don't feel I I'm just fearing that when I start

12:47 to like show the the signs of aging that um people won't care anymore.

12:52 And there's there's proof behind that.

12:54 Yeah, it's true.

12:55 I mean, on the Reddit's thread that asked who's the hottest male comet,

12:58 the comments immediately turned to women.

13:00 Um, but this this this special was recorded in St.

13:03 Louis, which is where you grew up and where you live now, correct?

13:07 That's correct.

13:08 And the Midwest is a very different place than New York.

13:11 Now, St.

13:11 Louis is a pretty hit place actually for people

13:13 who don't know that, but it's pretty cool city.

13:15 Um, and you joke about how people don't care as much

13:17 as what they look like and actually insult the audience.

13:20 Talk about living there.

13:21 I'm I didn't I realized you lived there.

13:24 Yeah, I moved back um I was in New York and LA pretty much

13:28 after college just uh pursuing this career and then I found myself in New

13:32 York and um during COVID and I just was like I'll just move

13:36 back home with my parents because this is scary and work is dried up.

13:40 So, I just moved back into my childhood bedroom um in pretty much March of 2020.

13:46 And then I hung out there for 10 months living with my parents who are like,

13:50 you know, my favorite people.

13:52 And we just had a great time.

13:53 And and then as soon as they kind of were like,

13:56 "It's time for you to move back out." I um I just

13:59 didn't I just I just didn't feel the need to go back.

14:02 I I think I was actually very lucky because I was at a point in my career where

14:06 I didn't really need to be on the coast

14:09 to be seen and to be thought of for projects.

14:11 People were already kind of aware of me.

14:13 So, I kind of reasoned, you know,

14:15 if people if someone wants me to do something in LA and they

14:17 don't have a week a week's notice to give me and, you know,

14:21 $400 for a Southwest flight, uh,

14:24 then it's probably not a project I'd even want to do anyway.

14:26 So, I feel like I can just be in St.

14:28 Louis.

14:29 And also, I just feel like I um I know that I'm,

14:32 you know, addicted to work and I can really um hurt myself with it.

14:37 And I guess kind of felt like I'm going to keep work

14:39 on the coast so that if I really want it, I go to it.

14:42 And it's not just something that is just always outside

14:45 my door and making me feel like I'm not doing enough.

14:48 You know, if I'm living in New York,

14:49 there's always a set I can go do that night.

14:51 There's always a podcast that I can jump on that day.

14:54 And and here in St.

14:55 Louis, there's just not that's I I don't feel those pressures.

14:58 So I can kind of just relax.

15:00 What do you do daytoday there?

15:01 What is it like living there?

15:03 I sleep late.

15:04 I play with my dogs.

15:06 I take a Pilates class.

15:09 I go visit my parents and hang out with them.

15:12 I I I have like a visit my sister and her kids.

15:15 Like I kind of just do honestly nothing.

15:17 I do a lot of sleeping because usually when I'm here I'm just

15:20 catching up from just you know nonstop go whatever it is.

15:25 What's is it different?

15:26 What is the different mood there?

15:27 I mean it's but St.

15:29 Louis is is more liberal obviously and I

15:32 have friends who live in Kansas City, same thing.

15:34 But what's the mentality difference?

15:37 Do you feel that or not?

15:38 Well, I just in terms of show business is the thing

15:42 that I pay most attention to is that people are not as driven.

15:47 Not show business, business in general.

15:49 I just don't feel like people are as driven here for for good or bad.

15:53 I think for me it's good because I

15:55 just don't feel as in competition with others.

15:57 I think here it's about, you know,

15:59 what your yard looks like and how your home is decorated and um how your what

16:04 school your kids go to and those are

16:06 not metrics by which I measure myself at all.

16:09 So I feel a lot more free here to not judge myself and not compare myself.

16:14 And so and also I just people people just don't care about celebrity here.

16:20 It doesn't feel gossipy.

16:21 it doesn't feel uh like I'm being watched or um that you

16:26 know and I I've told this story before but it's just

16:28 so funny to me that you know the week before I

16:30 hosted SNL like sitting in the hair chair getting my hair done

16:34 and she's like do you have any fun plans

16:36 coming up and I go oh I'm hosting SNL uh

16:39 next week and she goes fun and then just like

16:42 keeps going and I'm like if it was just you know I was ready for her to go what

16:48 you know because it hadn't been you know and there's

16:51 just they just don't seem to be as um aruck

16:54 by those things and and much to my parents sugar.

16:57 I mean that my parents are so disappointed on it.

16:59 Oh, they they want everyone losing their minds cuz they lose their minds.

17:03 But I just tell them like people just don't care about that stuff

17:06 as much here and I I it it it tickles me actually.

17:09 That's funny.

17:10 Fun.

17:10 Fun.

17:11 That's really good.

17:12 Fun.

17:12 Oh like like I have a you know

17:16 my a college friend's wedding coming up or something.

17:19 You know, it's like and I go, "Did you hear I'm hosting?

17:22 I'm not watching it.

17:23 I'm not hosting a party." It's just no.

17:25 Oh, fun.

17:26 So, I I appreciate that.

17:28 Like, it's just not it isn't that, you know, it's important, but okay.

17:32 It helps you.

17:32 I I get it.

17:33 I get it.

17:34 So, another now shifting, total shift.

17:37 Another major theme in the special is your vagina.

17:40 Um, you spent about 15 minutes talking about it,

17:42 the anxiety you felt when you were younger about how it looked.

17:45 Even in 2026, people are very uncomfortable women talking about their sexuality.

17:50 Talk about why you made the vagina a center a centerpiece to it.

17:55 I enjoyed it myself, you know.

17:57 Well, the main reason is that the jokes just killed on the road.

18:01 I mean, there was there's just a thing you feel

18:04 on stage where you start doing kind of the dirtier comedy

18:07 that I I've been like known for where you just

18:09 feel a pop from the crowd where they just get energized.

18:11 It's at the end of the the show.

18:13 They've been sitting there a while and they somehow summon

18:16 all this energy to laugh so much harder at those jokes.

18:18 So

18:18 you're like now the vagina comes out, right?

18:21 Yeah.

18:21 It was just like I I you know there's a part of me that felt it

18:25 was hack or you know so many women get female comics get told you talk about

18:30 your vagina and and sex and it's like so easy and I I never want

18:35 to feel like I'm doing the easy hack thing but I can't deny that it was killing.

18:39 And I also thought, you know, I if I let that kind of rhetoric,

18:45 you know, determine what I talk about on stage,

18:47 I'm just going to be placating into the again like

18:50 the male comedians that I've started in my career trying to impress.

18:53 And I just I just don't want to do that.

18:55 And I also just feel that it's it's still important.

18:57 I feel like women still need to be really a lot more open about their sexuality.

19:02 And it helps a lot of women and men under understand women's sexuality more.

19:06 So, I just felt, you know,

19:08 if there was still some girl who has not heard me

19:11 in the course of my career talk about my insecurities about my vagina,

19:15 I want to reach that that girl and let her know like she's not alone in the way

19:19 she feels about hers and and the anxiety

19:21 you have when presenting it to someone new.

19:23 Right.

19:23 Because men never talk about their penises, male comments.

19:27 Exactly.

19:27 Never heard it.

19:28 I wish they would.

19:29 It would be very interesting.

19:31 I know there's not enough.

19:32 It's really I I'm I'm excited for them

19:34 to tackle that at some point, but it's um yeah,

19:37 it's just it but there is a part of me that is

19:40 ashamed of it and that maybe I put it at the end

19:42 of my special hoping that maybe some people wouldn't get to it

19:45 so I wouldn't be judged for it because it's something that I um

19:50 I am I'm embarrassed of doing, you know,

19:52 you I get called a sex comic all the time and I get kind of um there's

19:56 been opportunities I've lost out on, I would say

19:59 earlier on in my career that were more mainstream.

20:01 same uh chances at a career in on networking machine.

20:07 Yeah.

20:07 That that people thought, "Oh, she's too dirty,

20:10 so she can't go on this show because she's just going to talk about

20:12 her vagina." And they didn't realize that I know when and when not to do that.

20:15 So, I I you know, and I also just don't want other comics, female comics,

20:20 to have to suffer what I have created for them,

20:22 which is like more evidence that all we talk about are vaginas.

20:26 But I I think um well, there's so many different ones.

20:29 They all look different.

20:30 So, I feel like there's a lot of different angles to cover.

20:32 I haven't I felt it was perfectly fine to talk about your Thank you, Cara.

20:36 And by the way, men do talk I have a four-year-old who has

20:38 not stopped talking about his penis and he's not even a comic yet.

20:42 I mean, it is fascinating and it's I always want to just talk about

20:46 I'm three boys in.

20:47 I'm three I only have one daughter.

20:49 You've heard it all.

20:50 I've heard all about it and I haven't.

20:53 But it is it is what we're not supposed to talk about.

20:56 And I think that's maybe one of the reasons I am talking about it is

20:58 because I didn't have a chance in growing up to ever make jokes about it.

21:04 You can't touch it if you even itch it.

21:06 And in you know in front of your parents and you're just like playing with it.

21:09 What are you doing?

21:10 You know there was a shame around it.

21:11 So I think I'm always just drawn to the things

21:13 that as a kid or teenager I just felt like I couldn't talk about.

21:16 So your your speaking of your parents,

21:18 your dad was sitting in the front row of this and as a comedian

21:21 you're used to talking about personal things in front of the people you love.

21:24 Yeah.

21:24 How that was an was that he's listened to that before presumably, right?

21:29 Yeah.

21:29 I think I I think he had heard it before.

21:31 He'd come to see me on the road before.

21:32 Yes.

21:34 Yes.

21:33 Yeah.

21:33 Yeah.

21:34 He had it's you know they have been through the whole thing with me.

21:38 I started out you know 20 something years ago really um

21:42 putting them on blast and talking about really disgusting stuff like kind

21:47 of I was just I was a late bloomer so I was

21:49 just kind of exploring my sexuality and really bringing it all on stage.

21:52 And so my parents were always in the crowd supporting

21:55 me and and kind of just stayed quiet about it.

21:57 They'd never shamed me about it or said maybe

21:59 don't do that or oh this is so embarrassing.

22:02 But I came to find out later on that it

22:04 was really embarrassing for them and really uncomfortable.

22:06 And I I just I never even considered their perspective on it.

22:10 I think that if I would have it

22:11 would have um it would have hindered my creativity

22:14 in some way to consider how they felt

22:16 and to have empathy for them in those moments.

22:18 And I did have a a moment, I would say 15 years in, where my dad was

22:22 in the crowd and I was describing giving oral sex

22:25 or something and I just saw his shining bald head

22:27 in the background and I had to stop and I was like,

22:29 I cannot believe I'm doing this.

22:31 I Dad, I am so It just dawned on me how uncomfortable that would be for him.

22:35 It wasn't even about how I felt.

22:36 I I really I don't have embarrassment around it for some reason,

22:41 but I I saw it from his perspective because I I I guess I

22:44 could see my reflection in his head and I was like, I am so sorry.

22:49 And I it it was this like awakening on stage that happened in real time.

22:52 And after that, I was a little bit more um you know,

22:56 like I just told my parents like you can you can go to the bathroom

22:58 for this part of my set if they would come to my show.

23:00 Now, this one in particular, I was like,

23:02 I think they can kind of handle everything that I'm talking about,

23:04 but they're just so proud they don't care.

23:06 Yeah.

23:06 Your dad was asked about advice to others whose kids get in common and he

23:09 said get some thick skin which I think is the right answer for a parent.

23:14 Um that's your special ends on a kind of full circle note.

23:18 You talk about rejecting insecurity

23:19 and feeling confident in face of imperfection.

23:22 Um talk about that because that's where you get to um

23:26 accepting yourself and at the same time it doesn't go away.

23:30 Yeah, it I don't think it it ever goes away.

23:32 I feel like I um am always striving for uh I guess I guess perfection,

23:37 acceptance of myself is more the thing that I'm trying to strive for now

23:42 is is acceptance and um but it's I like that it's an ongoing battle.

23:47 I think it is what fuels me to keep going and to even

23:51 pursue this career because it's um there it's an empty pursuit

23:56 and if I wasn't trying to achieve uh the world thinking something

24:01 of me and and how they perceive me I I really wouldn't continue going.

24:05 There's no point in doing it.

24:06 I mean the money is nice.

24:08 So that is you know something that I I like about it.

24:11 But the attention, I mean,

24:12 that comes from a really sad place of of wanting expecting a crowd

24:16 of people to sit for an hour and listen to me talk into a microphone.

24:19 I'm not singing.

24:20 There's no dancing.

24:21 There's no lights.

24:22 There's no video show.

24:23 Like, I mean, it's really expecting a lot out of a crowd.

24:26 I I I'm I'm honestly shocked that people go

24:28 to comedy shows and have the attention span for it.

24:30 Now, I'm always really impressed by people.

24:32 I mean, I do as well, but I just I'm always really proud of myself afterwards.

24:36 Like, I just watch someone monologize.

24:37 It just feels like something that uh we

24:40 we shouldn't have the attention span for anymore.

24:43 But I feel like I I hope it never goes away.

24:46 I I kind of like my insecurities.

24:48 I And I am I'm secure in my insecurities is is what I feel I am.

24:54 I really am.

24:55 Like I I feel like I had a friend once

24:56 who was like would never admit she had had low self-esteem.

25:00 And she would always say to me,

25:01 I I'm I can't believe how you could admit that you have low self-esteem.

25:04 that's just something I could I I probably do have.

25:07 She couldn't even say that she even she was like,

25:09 "I might have it, but I would never ever say that to anyone."

25:14 Um, and say it out loud and especially to everyone.

25:17 And I've just never felt shame about that.

25:19 I really I know that that's okay.

25:22 And I just am I'm always on a quest just to be as honest as possible.

25:26 And I think that that is also um if I

25:29 am as honest as possible and people still like me,

25:32 then I guess I feel likable deep

25:34 down because I get think there's something about

25:36 this business that feels so fake that when people like me because of, you know,

25:41 the Golden Globes or a roast or a photo

25:45 shoot I did or, you know, whatever it is,

25:47 I just I never really I can't really let it in because I'm like,

25:50 well, that's not really me.

25:52 You know that's it is me but it's it's months and months

25:55 of work that was to make this one version of me that is so

26:01 glowy and so unattainable uh for me if I don't completely like you

26:07 know doing a golden globes I have to give up my entire life.

26:09 It's not it's like an Olympics.

26:10 It's not something that I could keep doing forever.

26:13 And so I don't really like the praise for that.

26:17 But then there's the praise that comes where people go

26:19 well but then I'll praise you for how hard you work.

26:21 And I'm like, well, I don't like

26:22 that either because that means I'm not talented.

26:24 That means, oh, you just work harder than everyone else.

26:26 So, I I it's I'm just never really satisfied.

26:29 And I think I I need that.

26:31 It's it's the engine that fuels me.

26:33 Yeah.

26:33 Well, it's interesting because I think comics

26:34 are very vulnerable and they're telling a story.

26:36 And to hold people's attention is very difficult.

26:39 It's much more I don't know if you remember,

26:41 there's a movie Tom Hanks and Sally Field did about

26:43 comics that I still stays with me to this day.

26:46 I don't know why.

26:47 It wasn't a huge hit or anything else.

26:49 Punch line.

26:50 I think it was punch line.

26:51 Yes.

26:52 Yes.

26:52 What stays with you about it?

26:54 The vulnerability of them and the insecurity and still walking out there.

26:59 Cruelty a little bit towards each other.

27:01 And it would just I just everything about it was very it was

27:04 very unlike Tom Hanks too because he was a little bit cruel, right?

27:09 And the desperation.

27:10 I just every bit of and Syfield is like

27:12 a walking does that desperation better than anybody like walk

27:17 well that's the comedy I like most is that is when someone is sharing a part

27:21 of their psyche that's really shameful

27:23 and that is it you know is really embarrassing.

27:26 I don't really like comedy that's just talking about the other day this happened

27:31 or just observational comedy although I I respect

27:34 it and it's not something I can do.

27:36 It just isn't my cup of tea.

27:37 I really like when people are kind of humiliating themselves in a way that makes

27:43 me like them more and feel closer to them and makes me like myself more.

27:47 Let's let's talk about that style because

27:48 some of the themes you like to explore.

27:50 Now, obviously you noted this in the show.

27:52 You gained a lot of fame from your parents' on Comedy Central roast.

27:55 A lot of good ones.

27:56 The Tom Brady one really sent you over the top, I think.

27:59 Um the jokes you made about him were brutal and he was sitting right there.

28:02 Um which I thought was great.

28:04 Um, can you just talk about the roasting?

28:08 How that is that a different thing?

28:09 Because you kind of said it offhand like in an interesting way in the show.

28:15 Yeah, it feels it feels like a different skill.

28:17 I mean, it's it's a for me it's about jokew writing.

28:20 That's what's drew me to Rose most of all is I I love I love really tight jokes.

28:25 I like oneliners.

28:26 I like um just a real sharp turn of phrase.

28:29 It feels like little math problems.

28:30 It just is to me has always been

28:32 an expression of intelligence that I've respected and you know

28:35 the Mitch Hedbergs or the Steven Wrights or uh

28:39 Wendy Leeman's just these like just being so concise.

28:42 So I always like that about it where you

28:44 and also you don't need much of an attention span.

28:46 You're just on to the next joke before you're bored.

28:48 I really don't really enjoy storytelling comedians because I

28:51 can't I just don't care enough to to walk through

28:54 an entire story with them and it's so so

28:57 it's not very often that compelling the whole way through.

28:59 and it feels too self-important all the pauses and just expecting

29:04 the audience to follow you on this journey to the bank.

29:06 I just don't care.

29:07 But um so I always loved like the sharpness of the joke writing special but okay

29:11 and it was and it was just something that um yeah I think

29:14 that I first got started doing it just helping my friends write jokes.

29:18 They were doing the roast and I would just submit

29:20 jokes and see what I could get on and um and I got some on and it was just such

29:24 a good feeling to write a joke that people were talking about.

29:28 And then I um and then I think the other thing I like

29:31 about it is that it's like you get to be so brutally honest.

29:34 I mean Yeah.

29:34 mean.

29:35 Yeah.

29:35 You have to have the right amount of mean.

29:37 You have to have the right amount of pain.

29:38 And some honesty is it is mean, you know, like uh just Taylor Swift lyric.

29:44 You called me up again just to break me like a promise.

29:47 So casually cruel in the name of being honest.

29:49 Like you can be so mean but and just say,

29:51 "Oh, but I'm just but I'm just telling you the truth.

29:53 Do you not want the truth?" And so it's it's it gives me permission to do that.

29:57 That's why I like them is they're it's protected by this.

30:00 It feels like the most protected space of free

30:03 speech of like this guy signed up for this.

30:07 They they didn't give any parameters or they

30:09 gave some and I'm adi abiding by them.

30:11 And so now I have to find loopholes where I can hurt

30:13 this person in ways they don't even know that they are there.

30:17 You know, there was just like stuff of like, hey, maybe don't, you know,

30:20 in the past roast that I've done, it's just like don't go after their kids.

30:23 don't go after, you know,

30:25 a us maybe a person in their life who's sick or old or, you know,

30:29 like it's it's stuff like that that I I always respect.

30:32 I don't mind anyone telling me, "Hey, don't joke about this.

30:34 It's going to hurt my feelings." Like, fair enough.

30:36 Um, I don't that's never my goal,

30:39 but it is my goal to find an angle that other people haven't explored.

30:42 and like and and and when you get it,

30:45 it's like that feeling of when you write a joke that no one else has thought

30:49 of and it's a new type of joke that none of the roasts have ever done because

30:52 a lot of it is just like uh you know plugandplay like you can really write

30:56 a good set using a lot of the same tropes and tricks that have been done before.

30:59 So that's a it's a really fun nut to crack and it's just

31:02 um yeah and you're just allowed to be a psychopath for seven minutes.

31:08 I mean it's it's insane the things that I've gotten away with saying.

31:11 Is there one joke that you liked or wanted to put in?

31:15 Yeah, there's there's always times even with the Golden Globes,

31:17 there's always times where it's like, "Oh,

31:19 this is the best joke I've ever heard or written or, you know,

31:23 one someone in my my writing staff writes and you know,

31:27 you just you just can't do it because it's just going to make

31:30 the room feel too weird or it's just too harsh for that moment,

31:33 especially like a Golden Globes." And um and you just have to let it go.

31:37 And it's so painful, but you just think, okay,

31:41 maybe I'll put that in my book someday

31:42 when that person's dead or something like that.

31:44 You don't touch on politics a lot, although you did include some jokes

31:46 about Epstein files in your opening monologue.

31:48 Yes.

31:49 Um, which I thought was interesting.

31:51 Talk a little bit about that.

31:52 Yeah.

31:52 I mean, I was so immersed in it at that time anyway.

31:55 I have gotten away from it like I think we all have unfortunately.

32:00 Melania brought it back.

32:00 Melania, she really did.

32:02 Thanks.

32:02 We still don't know exactly what that was preempting,

32:06 but it's I'm I'm waiting every day for that other shoe to drop.

32:10 But um yeah, I was just so I was reading so much about it.

32:13 I was so mad about it.

32:14 If you like true crime,

32:16 there's a lot going on in there and there's a lot that the mainstream

32:19 media can't even report on because it's too grotesque to even paraphrase.

32:23 I mean, it's like it was crazy the stuff I was getting into.

32:25 So, I think it was on my mind a lot.

32:27 And also, um it's one of those things that no one can deny is wrong.

32:31 like no, that's to me felt totally safe to go after because

32:36 you know although there were people in that room that night were

32:39 that were definitely in the files like um no one's going to say

32:43 that's mean of me like that it's it's that it felt like

32:47 a you know for lack of a better term a safe space

32:50 to go to for a monologue and but in the in the right

32:55 way because I think actually Epstein you know 2019 till you

33:00 know the drop last winter was like kind of an easier joke

33:04 to make and to reference because we didn't know the the the horrid

33:08 details of it as much and I think it was a little

33:11 bit more risky given that but I forget the joke oh yeah

33:14 it was like um what what I don't even remember what

33:17 the joke I the oh a lot of A-listers in the room tonight

33:21 and by A-listers I mean people who are definitely on A-list that has

33:25 been heavily redacted so I felt like that was that was safe

33:27 enough because you're not getting into any of the details of it

33:30 and we're And I didn't say his name and it's just I said list.

33:33 So there was a lot of things about that that I felt like

33:35 well list is now Epstein just for Exactly.

33:38 That word is

33:39 that word is now.

33:39 Um and you your biggest hit was your CBS joke though.

33:42 I have to say I think that one got the most attent.

33:44 Do you have did you were you surprised by that?

33:47 No.

33:47 I think I I I knew that.

33:48 I was so happy that CBS did not cut that because, you know,

33:52 that was one that I was really worried that they were

33:55 going to see and I would have understood if they were like,

33:57 "Can you just not like we're paying you a lot

34:00 of money and we're putting a lot into this?

34:02 Can you not throw us under the bus?" But they they liked it.

34:06 And I think when I did it in rehearsals,

34:07 a lot of the the crew and cameramen were all laughing.

34:10 And I think I think the pe the powers that be uh saw

34:13 that and just knew it was undeniably just going to be a killer.

34:16 And I think that they wanted um you know, they wanted that show to be killer.

34:21 They they wanted that head, you know,

34:23 they wanted the press that would maybe come from me

34:25 doing that headline more than the bad press associated with it.

34:27 And I and I thought it was really I

34:30 was really happy that that they let me do it.

34:32 It was a great joke.

34:32 It was a great joke.

34:33 Yeah.

34:34 Um, so, um, and I'm glad they let you do it.

34:36 I hope they don't I hope they continue to let people do that.

34:39 We'll see.

34:40 Um, one of the things, uh, that you don't talk about though is politics.

34:44 So, let's get to our expert question.

34:45 Every episode, we get an outside expert to ask one.

34:48 Here's yours.

34:49 Hi, Cara and Nikki.

34:50 It's your old friend Jud Appatile here in Savannah,

34:56 Georgia, directing a movie during World War II.

35:00 I have a question.

35:01 Is it possible to be funny during World War II?

35:06 Also, is it possible to not gain weight?

35:10 How can we be funny when the world is so[ __] weird?

35:15 When our government is stranger than

35:18 every single character from Doctor Strange Love.

35:23 Anyway, just wondering.

35:24 Bye.

35:26 Well, he's a he's a great example of someone

35:28 who is continuing to be funny amidst all this.

35:31 And um

35:32 I think that um no, I mean,

35:34 I've I've really struggled with it because it's just made me so

35:37 depressed that it's hard to be funny and it's hard for me

35:40 to even look at my own life and be funny about it

35:42 or think that anything in my mundane life that I'm complaining about,

35:46 like my lip filler, is interesting to for anyone to hear about.

35:51 Um, but you know, I think that um I think I think we

35:58 just have fatigue with all of it and people needed I I do I

36:02 know that's often used a lot of like we just need an escape

36:04 and it's just a a a reason people give to justify making bad art.

36:08 But um I think that it's true.

36:10 I think people do want to think about anything else and I think that I want

36:14 to talk about anything else and and we're

36:17 it's almost nostalgic to worry about the dumb stuff.

36:20 It was interesting because some you had said to Howard Stern

36:22 that you pulled some political jokes from your monologue for example like

36:26 Trump and Ice because it was it fatigue or that you

36:30 just it was hard to strike the right tone as you noted.

36:33 I just don't want to say his name to be honest with you.

36:35 Like I just don't want to give him air time.

36:37 I think that yeah, I just there were lots of jokes that, you know,

36:41 said ice and Trump and I just and the ballroom.

36:47 We had jokes about, you know, I just didn't want to say his name.

36:50 I just felt like I I knew he would be watching and I

36:53 didn't want to give him the satisfaction of having anything to respond to.

36:58 And I just and I don't want those words to come out of my lips.

37:02 I mean, I can't even listen.

37:03 I I really don't listen to him.

37:05 I don't watch him.

37:05 I just read what he says.

37:06 I sometimes watch it on mute, but I really I can't I can't stomach it.

37:10 And so I just don't I and I don't talk about it

37:13 on stage because I don't when I'm doing my standup I don't want

37:17 to know who in my crowd might be on that side because I

37:21 don't want to resent anyone in the crowd because then I I I get

37:24 angry and it starts to and no one likes an angry woman especially

37:29 but just in general it just doesn't mix well and I can just

37:33 when I get heckled or something or something disarms me on stage

37:36 and and there's an angry side to me I just lose the crowd instantly.

37:39 It's like they don't trust me anymore.

37:41 Like the bus driver that is like driving the kids to school

37:44 is suddenly like freaking out and then and everyone gets scared.

37:47 And so I just I try not to just I try not to talk about it

37:49 because the times that I have and I felt like the crowd go in a certain way.

37:53 I just start, you know, aiming my jokes at only the side that I like.

37:58 And I'm just and and these people made money

38:00 and I don't want to make them feel bad.

38:01 And it's not their fault that they have the ideology that they have.

38:05 I would too if I had their same brain and was

38:07 grew up in the same family and the same place in America.

38:10 Like I try to I try to remember that no

38:13 one has free will and everyone that likes him.

38:16 I I would like them to if I was that person.

38:18 I would like him to if I was that person.

38:19 I try to remember that I'm feel lucky that I

38:21 that I have the brain that I have that knows, you know.

38:25 Right.

38:25 No, it also does bring ridiculous.

38:27 Some of the comedy can be very funny, but it's sort of gotten not funny.

38:30 Like you see a lot of the daily shows

38:32 and stuff like that and they do a nice job.

38:33 I have to say they're pretty fun.

38:35 I like I like Kimmel's anger at it.

38:38 You know, like Kimmel is able to harness his anger and frustration

38:41 with it in a way that I I really find soothing to me.

38:45 And also, you know, John Stewart's just consternation at it all.

38:48 And uh frustration is is a really one being saved by Jesus Trump.

38:52 That was that that that was Yes, that's right.

38:57 But was that him?

38:58 Was that John?

38:58 No, it wasn't.

38:59 But he look it looks like him.

39:01 I just yes two days ago interviewed Jose Andre who's

39:04 doing World Central Kitchen and the guy in the back

39:06 looks like him with a hat and he said he's

39:08 gotten 7,000 texts from people because it looks like him.

39:12 What an honor.

39:13 And he's like, "What was I doing there?

39:15 I don't understand.

39:16 I was in Gaza feeding people and then I was in this picture." And it does.

39:20 Go look at it.

39:21 You're like, "Whoa, what is happening?"

39:23 I really haven't taken that image in outside of um his doctor.

39:27 Uh yeah.

39:28 And then there's a character from a sci-fi.

39:30 The whole thing is whoever does this.

39:31 I kind of want to meet Oh, that's They don't even like sack.

39:34 They don't It doesn't They don't even watch it or review anything they put up.

39:39 I just kind of want to be in the room as they make it.

39:41 Like, what are you thinking?

39:42 Someday we're going to find out.

39:43 Teenage boy.

39:44 It's some really[ __] up teenage boy who mostly wants to hear about your vagina.

39:49 Anyway, um let's end up talking

39:51 about business of comedy and Hollywood generally.

39:54 Um, obviously podcasts have become a huge part of comedy right now.

39:57 Uh, you had one for a few years but ended last year.

40:00 Talk about is it shaping comedy these podcasts because

40:03 a whole lot of comics are doing them now.

40:05 Like a lot.

40:06 Yeah, I think I mean it's it's shaping comedy in the sense that I think

40:10 um well it's getting people to go see comedians because they find out about them

40:15 through podcast.

40:15 So I think it's helping in that way.

40:16 But I think that it's made uh the bar a bit

40:20 lower for comedy because you you know standup comedy takes

40:24 work and it takes effort and rewriting and uh punching up

40:28 and reviewing and and trying your material over and over again.

40:31 And that has kind of become a lost art because there's just

40:34 this expectation now that you should just have fresh stuff all the time

40:37 and just be able to uh be funny on command and and I

40:41 think that it's lowered the bar in the sense that yeah,

40:43 people are just expecting um they expect less,

40:47 I guess, and so they're entertained by by less.

40:50 But I think I I hear a lot, I mean,

40:52 when I'm looking on Reddit and reading about people going to see

40:54 stand-up shows of their favorite podcasters

40:56 that they're they're often very disappointed

40:59 because it's not what they expected it to be because it's it's

41:03 not the right place for the level of professionalism for a podcast.

41:08 I mean, it's Yeah, it it needs to be more polished.

41:10 So, and now we went on tour and did really well because it was the show.

41:13 We just did the show.

41:14 Well, yours is polished.

41:16 You you have you have notes.

41:18 You've done your research.

41:19 You're not just, you know, there's

41:22 you have a system in place um and you work hard on it.

41:24 There's a difference between um you know,

41:27 there's a lot of different ways to podcast and there's, you know,

41:31 and and I enjoy the ones that are

41:32 just shooting the[ __] There's times and the time and a place for that, but um I

41:35 stopped podcasting because I wasn't giving it that effort.

41:38 I just was sitting down and just shooting from the hip and saying things

41:43 that I didn't even really hadn't really

41:45 thought through and couldn't really back up.

41:48 And I was just feeling like I was getting to a place where my words

41:52 were being uh taken more seriously and being

41:55 paid more attention to by like page six and I was getting things pull quoted

41:59 that I didn't even remember saying and it was

42:01 becoming kind of embarrassing and it was also

42:03 like you need to have a video podcast now.

42:05 So, it was about doing hair and makeup every day so

42:08 you could look uh presentable enough for this to live online forever.

42:12 And it's like now I I need full glam for when I'm going to be on camera.

42:16 I mean, I didn't get it today or you know,

42:17 like I there's there's a time and a place, but like,

42:20 you know, I just was feeling like this burden

42:22 every day of like I have to look a certain

42:23 way and some days I would just look tired

42:25 and then that's out there forever and then people are pulling.

42:27 It just was it was just too much pressure and it I love it.

42:30 Every time I do it, I love it.

42:32 You have to love I did I did love it and there's parts of it that I miss.

42:35 I miss having that connection with people who feel like they

42:38 know you and and you get to talk to them every day.

42:40 Yeah.

42:40 I mean I have it too with celebrities.

42:43 So I really liked providing that for people because I felt like Yeah.

42:46 If you listen to my podcast and you think you'd be friends with me,

42:49 you're probably right.

42:50 I'm really myself on this thing.

42:51 But I just felt like it was for people who were paying attention,

42:55 that wanted something um that weren't just looking

42:59 to listen to something on their drive to work

43:01 and were actually trying to pay attention to what

43:03 I say and and and glean something from it.

43:06 I think I was falling short and I I really like

43:08 to make to I was just I'm as I get older,

43:11 I just want to put out things out that I'm proud of and I wasn't proud

43:14 of it and so I I'll go back to it when I can work at it.

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44:19 How important have podcasts become to comedy as a business?

44:23 Yeah, so important.

44:24 I mean, it's it's just a way Yeah.

44:27 It's like people are doing the Tonight Show was the biggest deal ever to me.

44:33 even when I did it after the boom and like

44:36 you know first time I was on Tonight Show 2009

44:38 the the hugest deal in comedy and was so until

44:41 probably 5 years ago getting a and it's still a big

44:43 deal to get a late night set but nobody sees

44:45 it nobody really it doesn't move ticket sales like a podcast

44:49 does so you still have to go on these podcasts

44:51 you have to weigh um and especially now that um

44:57 you know some of the most popular comedy podcasts are

45:00 on the wrong side of things you have to, you know,

45:04 there's a moral dilemma there of what am I going to do?

45:07 And so I look at polar polar there's a lot it's changing.

45:10 I have to say it's a real

45:11 there's a there's a lot more now to do that are just, you know,

45:15 are getting the same level of attention that are not as pro not problematic.

45:19 But um but it's heavy rightwing.

45:21 Yeah.

45:21 Scott and I are always in the top 10,

45:22 but we're always surrounded by Candace Owen and Mark Leven.

45:25 So we're like, yeah, that's that's what it is.

45:28 Megan Kelly's is always hanging at the top

45:30 like looking down at us with her angry eyes.

45:34 I I do feel like I still need to do them.

45:37 I am um nervous about them every time I do it.

45:41 Like I did one last week.

45:42 I did Call Her Daddy and you know it was like a two-hour conversation.

45:46 It was so much fun talking about sex openly.

45:48 She's such a girl's girl and it was like I just felt like we were

45:51 like best friends by the end of it and I I maintain that we are like

45:53 I really feel a friendship with her and but but I was talking like I

45:57 would a best friend and I was feeling like oh you know I I wasn't even

46:00 thinking about censoring myself in any way

46:02 knowing that this podcast gets you know makes

46:05 headlines and then you know a week later I wake up to just headlines about Nikki

46:10 Glazer um says that she likes for her boyfriend to sleep with other women and it

46:16 was like five different headlines showing up

46:18 in my feed and I don't even follow myself.

46:20 I don't look for news about myself.

46:22 I like avoided at all costs and um and it was just really

46:26 embarrassing because I was like that was just one little thing I talked

46:29 about like oh I'm kind of turned on by this idea of it

46:32 and then it was just every everyone I knew had seen it that day.

46:36 I went in to like do some voiceover work and even

46:39 the people on the Zoom on the voiceover were like,

46:40 "Wow, a lot of headlines about you today." And I'm like that is so humiliating.

46:44 Go to the hair lady.

46:45 Go to the hair lady.

46:46 Yeah, exactly.

46:47 Oh, fun.

46:49 No, that's the one she would know about and care about.

46:52 Um, and so that's the other thing that's like I

46:54 just get like nervous now because I in these spaces

46:57 I do feel like a connection with the hosts

46:59 and I do feel comfortable and I feel like oh no

47:02 one's really going to listen to this too hard

47:04 and then I just have to pay more attention now

47:06 to the the the stuff I say but then you know

47:09 it just goes away in a day and no one cares.

47:11 It's like Exactly.

47:13 I never pay attent I'm I've gotten apparently

47:15 I've gotten to 17 beefs with Megan Kelly.

47:17 She always talks about her show and I ignore it completely

47:19 except one time I wrote because there was so much of it.

47:22 I wrote back I go it's never going to happen between us.

47:25 Megan and that ended it.

47:28 That ended it.

47:29 It's just I please stop.

47:30 It's getting sort of like the Taylor Swift song about what's her name?

47:34 Charlie XEX.

47:36 Oh yes.

47:36 Yes.

47:37 That is a great song.

47:38 I love that song.

47:39 So petty.

47:40 It's so it's it's delicious.

47:42 I It was It's It's so much fun.

47:44 But I just I I mean, how did you do you find You probably find out

47:48 about most of these headlines because you have friends texting you.

47:51 No, I don't care.

47:52 I don't pay attention to them because I don't pay attention to it.

47:55 It's just like I find out from people who write.

47:58 I don't even pay attention to my friends text me about it.

48:00 That's so good.

48:00 I got to start blocking.

48:01 I don't got time for this.

48:02 That's a I got to get kids.

48:04 That's my problem.

48:05 That's it.

48:05 You need to You can borrow mine if you like.

48:07 I've got a lot.

48:07 Um and they're all different ages.

48:09 Um, so a couple more questions.

48:11 Hollywood's in the middle of a huge shakeup.

48:13 Talking the bigger business.

48:14 Obviously podcasts are part of it,

48:16 but tens of thousands of jobs have been lost is

48:18 still reeling from COVID and labor strikes and production moving abroad.

48:21 Uh, Marvel's just moving to England.

48:23 There they're they're saying things there's a lot

48:25 of fear over obviously Paramount's pro takeover, Warner Brothers.

48:28 I've never been so inundated with celebrities who want to come on and talk

48:31 about this Paramount deal and really big ones which is really interesting.

48:35 Um, talk about do you think about it at all?

48:38 Because you have your, as you said, your standup career could go on, right?

48:41 As long as you have great material.

48:43 How do you look at what's happening in Hollywood?

48:44 Because you also do other things.

48:46 You do you do lots of other things.

48:48 Yeah.

48:48 To be honest, Cara, I like don't look at it at all.

48:50 and I know I should and I feel really embarrassed that I don't pay

48:54 attention to it that much and that when

48:55 my friends get in conversations about it,

48:57 I just kind of slowly back out of the room because I don't really under

49:02 I feel I feel too ignorant to kind of understand um that kind of talk.

49:08 It just like my brain shuts off and I don't

49:10 it's like when people try to explain football to me

49:12 like I don't understand mergers and monopoly like I

49:14 just don't I'm I'm just not that kind of intelligent

49:17 and I just know where I what I should know

49:19 and I try to there are times where I go

49:21 please explain it to me and I'll get it all

49:23 and then it falls out of my head right away.

49:25 I mean, I do I feel for everyone going through it and I just worked on a a movie

49:31 that filmed in Los Angeles and it I could just

49:33 sense the gratitude of everyone in on that crew and how

49:37 helped rather considerably.

49:38 Yeah.

49:39 Yes.

49:39 They these people it was like maybe you know one of one job they

49:43 get a year and and you know I've worked with makeup artists for years who

49:47 were able to make a living and now

49:48 they're thinking of moving to Las Vegas or Atlanta.

49:51 I mean everyone everyone in that town is suffering.

49:54 So, I I feel so much for everyone and but I will say that like I do

50:00 that's why I um I really don't spend my money.

50:03 Um, I'm always worried that the the it's going

50:06 to drop out from under beneath me at any point.

50:09 And that's why I, you know, am going on tour again,

50:11 right on the heels of putting out a special and I have to go

50:14 to New York this summer and write a whole new hour in three months,

50:17 which I'm going to get done and I'm excited to do,

50:19 but it is like I'm going on tour again in August,

50:22 which is insane because I just got off tour, but I I'm worried that

50:26 people are going to have the money to go see people on tour and that someday,

50:30 you know, the live entertainment is going to that take that same hit.

50:33 So, I'm trying to capitalize on it as much as possible

50:35 and enjoy that um the luck that I've had in this business,

50:39 but uh I also just uh really am very cautious and and save my money and I

50:45 don't I don't live at the you know like I see a lot of people living.

50:51 You're not getting on and off of private planes.

50:54 No.

50:54 Uh I mean for also for fear of like if you because I'm you

50:57 know if you crash in a private plane no one feels sorry for you.

51:00 I think it's like we're that's my biggest fear now is like whenever I am in one

51:06 yeah I'm southwest people be like oh my god what

51:08 a woman of the people what a hero died so

51:10 young um they made my but you know like it's

51:14 but if Ire death comedy that you could do that

51:17 Oh yeah but I thought about it because I've been in some private

51:20 jets and I'm like if this goes down it's like the the amount

51:23 of sympathy me and my family are going to get is so is going

51:27 to be so much less because of the private plane people flying on private.

51:32 Yeah, this elitist[ __] she deserved it.

51:35 So, I like I do think about that and I do feel

51:38 like it's a huge waste of money and I don't mind flying.

51:40 I'm not famous enough that it's like really a hindrance

51:42 to me to be in the airport amongst the people.

51:44 It's like I I understand why people do it with where

51:46 it's like people give Taylor Swift[ __] about like flying private.

51:50 It's like she cannot be out in public.

51:53 It would shut down the airport.

51:54 it would it would cause delays ac across it would just you just can't

51:59 she can't do anything else and so I don't fault her for that ever.

52:03 Um and so but but I can still do it.

52:05 I can I can be in boarding group C.

52:08 Two more questions.

52:09 The other disruptive force is something you've talked about the Hollywood is AI.

52:12 You said in the past you don't mind semia content that's obviously I like

52:16 when it creates a video of Trump uh and Russian President Vlad Putin making out.

52:21 Do you think about it about content around AI?

52:24 It's some of it's I mean like Iran is killing it right

52:27 now making these Lego commercials about I mean videos about Trump for example.

52:32 They're very funny actually.

52:33 Yeah.

52:33 I mean when done right and you know and people behind

52:39 it have a good point of view and are you know

52:43 modifying it, working with it and you can create some

52:46 good stuff if you there's like a human behind it.

52:49 Um, but and I've used it a little bit just to like

52:52 generate some starting places for jokes where I'm just like, "Okay,

52:57 what are some angles that Nikki Glazer would take

53:00 on this thing?" And it'll just give me a jump start.

53:02 Like, you know, like anything like if you

53:03 were when I used to work with my friends.

53:05 Yeah.

53:06 With your friends.

53:06 And so, I think it's good for that.

53:08 But I um I'm just like it's just made

53:11 me sad that it's like it's ruined wonder a bit,

53:14 you know, like when I see something when I see like a whale approaching a boat.

53:19 This is Scott said this.

53:20 You can't watch animal.

53:21 He's so angry about the animal.

53:23 No, you can't enjoy any kind of animal footage anymore.

53:25 It was already sad to watch anyway because most most news about

53:30 nature is really depressing or any kind of stuff that you see.

53:34 So, I was always kind of like um scared to watch it,

53:37 but now it's just like I just I don't I don't tr I don't trust anything anymore

53:42 and I can't um I think that that that's

53:44 that's the part of it that I'm uh like upset

53:46 about is that it's just made um you know

53:50 it's it's made entertainment less enjoyable because there used

53:53 to be like I can't believe they caught

53:54 this moment and then you just go through the comments.

53:56 The first thing I do now when I say videos

53:57 is go through the comments and see who's who's debugged it.

54:01 Debugged it.

54:01 Right.

54:01 And it's AI.

54:02 Yeah.

54:02 There's one with a tiger trying to kill a hippo and then a crocodile's eating.

54:08 I'm absolutely I love it, but I'm absolutely certain it's AI.

54:11 Um No, I wouldn't want to watch that anyway.

54:13 Oh god, I can't.

54:15 It's actually strangely satisfying.

54:17 I hope that's AI.

54:18 Yeah.

54:18 Yeah.

54:19 Yeah.

54:19 Yeah.

54:20 Also, you're a vegan, too.

54:22 Yeah.

54:22 Yeah.

54:22 Animal killing is not something that's really pleasant to watch.

54:25 No, I can't handle any of it.

54:26 No.

54:26 Yeah, I would imagine.

54:27 Um, so last question.

54:29 You just wrapped a movie with Kim Kardashian, who is lovely, by the way.

54:32 I know her pretty well.

54:34 Um, you're in the process.

54:35 Lovely.

54:35 So polite.

54:36 So just surprising.

54:38 So nice.

54:38 Yes.

54:39 So polite.

54:40 Polite.

54:40 Like I was like, you were somehow well raised,

54:43 although it doesn't seem like the show, but you are.

54:46 Um, but you're up in Calabasas.

54:48 Up in I feeling her father was a critical part of her life, too, before he died.

54:52 Absolutely.

54:53 So you're in the process of writing

54:54 and starring another one produced by Jud Abatau.

54:57 you're having a moment and and that shouldn't matter,

54:59 but you're having it in your 40s,

55:00 as you note of the difference between millennials and Gen Z and stuff.

55:04 Um, and you told Time magazine, congratulations on being part of the Time 100.

55:08 Um, you've always dreamed of having this kind of success.

55:12 We never thought it would happen.

55:13 Um, what can you just go on about that and then what you think you

55:19 wanted to do next with it because it gives you a certain power obviously.

55:23 Yeah, I Well, there was just a point I think um you know,

55:28 I w Amy Schumer and I were really close

55:32 around the time that she kind of blew up.

55:34 It was like 2013 and we're around the same age and uh we had

55:38 we' kind of done the same type of comedy and and people, you know,

55:42 like I I didn't I always felt like she was just like

55:44 a a peer of mine that like I could look up to in certain ways.

55:48 She's a little bit older, so there was a big sister energy,

55:50 but she was just like a someone that like we just were in the trenches together.

55:53 And then suddenly she blew up and I remember she's like a movie

55:56 star and I was just I was struck that I wasn't jealous.

55:59 There was a a moment where I was like I am just so happy for and I I remember I

56:04 was able to understand that I wasn't envious because I

56:08 just there's just no way that I would ever do that.

56:10 Like it just seems so unreachable to become the kind of star that she was.

56:14 And so I just I think that was the moment

56:16 that I was like I don't I'm never gonna have

56:18 that and I can just be happy for her and put

56:21 it over here and support her and truly have no envy.

56:25 I was so because I always was so worried that I'm my whole life

56:28 is just going to be being envious of women who do better than me.

56:32 I was, you know, my sister was prettier than I was and more popular.

56:34 It was just like a thing that got, you know,

56:37 embedded in me at a young age of like I am

56:39 just this jealous person that um I really hated about myself.

56:43 for some reason that I was really I was just so

56:45 proud of myself that I was like just able to just

56:47 be so happy for her and just want her to continue

56:49 to succeed and and really feel that in my bones.

56:52 And and then I was like I really accepted it around 2014.

56:56 I was like, you know what, I'm a touring comic.

56:58 I headline clubs.

56:58 I make good money.

57:00 I um I don't have to ask my parents for money anymore.

57:03 I get to appear on shows here and there.

57:06 This is like a good life.

57:07 This is successful.

57:08 Like I did it.

57:09 like I I am making a living doing standup comedy and that's enough.

57:13 Like I was really like and I think I was also

57:16 past the point of like wanting fame and kind of realizing

57:19 that that was like there was an emptiness to that that was

57:21 never going to be satisfying enough no matter how much I got it.

57:24 So I just kind of like I don't know I just was I let go

57:29 maybe being older is better, right?

57:31 May, you know, I think it just it allowed me to relax and not want it so badly.

57:36 And I think the industry rewards that, you know,

57:39 like I was just able to do the things that I

57:42 really wanted to do and not pick and choose projects

57:44 based on is this going to be a cool look

57:46 or is this going to get me to the next level?

57:49 It was like, is this going to be fun and do I care about this?

57:53 And so I was able to do better work because of that because

57:55 I wasn't just constantly doing things that I felt like I should do.

57:59 And I think that that is what I

58:01 was ultimately rewarded for was that I, you know,

58:05 the Tom Brady roast was like exactly the kind of thing that I was passionate

58:08 about that I I knew that I was really better at than most people is writing

58:13 these kinds of jokes and I fought to get that position on that roast because I

58:17 knew it was going to be a big deal and I knew that I could kill it.

58:19 So, it was just I think it um yeah,

58:22 I think it was just I I I really it it wasn't like a you know that quote

58:27 in time that said like I never thought I was

58:28 going to have this kind of success that I have.

58:30 It was almost you read it and you think, "Oh,

58:32 she was like sad about it." I wasn't even I was like I really was like,

58:36 "Okay, good." you know, like this is I'm so happy and I'm famous enough and then

58:41 and then it happened and I'm at this next level and now

58:46 it's it's shitty because it feels like you have to maintain it

58:49 and it feels like now it just can be taken away where people

58:53 I was like rich people that can't stop grabbing money, right?

58:56 That's it.

58:56 Like I get it and I I understand that that desire

58:59 that it's never going to be enough and that

59:02 you and and going to if if you lose it, it's so much more embarrassing

59:07 than than not ever getting it.

59:09 Because if you don't ever get it, not that many people know you didn't get it.

59:12 You weren't that famous.

59:13 But now a lot of people know I have it

59:15 and now a lot of people can know that I lose it.

59:18 And I think that's it.

59:19 And it will go away at some point because it always does.

59:22 And you can't take it with you and I'm going to die.

59:24 And it's like it's it's it's going to go away.

59:26 So I'm, you know, I'm just trying to prolong it for what I don't know.

59:31 I think I there is a part of me now that just

59:33 wants to hoard money so that I can have a nice bunker.

59:37 I mean, that really is like a thing that I think about a lot is like I just

59:41 You don't want to live in a bunker.

59:42 You I don't.

59:43 But like I want I think my parents will want to or my my sister has a family,

59:48 so she'll probably want to, you know, be living during the apocalypse.

59:51 I'll I'll just, you know, I'll off myself when I lock them in it.

59:55 But I um I feel like that is like that's now the the goal is like I want

1:00:00 It's good to have plans.

1:00:01 Good to have it is.

1:00:03 I was talking to a really rich guy who has all

1:00:05 these apocalypse plans and he he told me them in detail.

1:00:08 Very well-known person and he has a motorcycle that takes him to this place.

1:00:12 Told me where the address was and he goes,

1:00:14 "What's your apocalypse plan?" And I said,

1:00:17 "I'm going to come kill you and take you." You just told

1:00:19 me the whole game plan and then he was like, "Wait a minute.

1:00:23 I didn't think about that." Oh, yeah.

1:00:24 He needs to stop telling people.

1:00:26 That's But that's what you I need to I'm

1:00:28 I have a one friend who's a billionaire and I'm

1:00:30 really in her good graces and I think I

1:00:32 have a ticket to her bunker if I need it.

1:00:34 But there it's about like okay, my boyfriend now has to like learn how to fly

1:00:38 a helicopter because how are we going to get to that?

1:00:39 Like there's there's things that I think about and I put it

1:00:42 off and by the time it happens I'm not going to be ready.

1:00:44 I I don't even have a go for shaping up right now.

1:00:47 your apocalypse girl.

1:00:49 Yeah, it's if if there, you know,

1:00:52 if there is a next special, I mean, it's it's looking dark.

1:00:55 So, but yeah, that's that's what keeps me going now.

1:00:57 And um and I'm just having fun.

1:00:59 Now that we're having the apocalypse,

1:01:01 is there anything What is your next thing besides these new projects, right?

1:01:04 Continuing to do that.

1:01:05 Yeah, I mean, it's um it's making more movies.

1:01:07 is I just finished this movie and it's going on tour again in August

1:01:11 and um and just I'm you know my goal is this summer to complete

1:01:15 to completely keep it open and go to New York and work on my standup

1:01:20 every single night all day long and um and that's pretty much it.

1:01:23 I have to build a whole new hour.

1:01:25 So it's also about going out there and living life and not

1:01:28 working so much so I have stuff to write about, you know.

1:01:30 So that's true.

1:01:30 You got to do things.

1:01:31 Well, I'll come watch you.

1:01:33 I'll come watch you.

1:01:34 would love a I bought a place in New York for uh bring the kids up there.

1:01:38 So I will come watch it anytime.

1:01:41 And I want to just say I was first I first found out about you.

1:01:45 I was listening to the Succession podcast.

1:01:48 Oh, that was a good podcast.

1:01:49 Yeah, it was such a good podcast.

1:01:50 And I rarely do this, but I was just like, who is this lady?

1:01:54 I was like I was in my car and I have to say I start

1:01:57 I was I was like I need to find out everything about her right now.

1:02:00 Just your voice, just the way you talked.

1:02:02 I I just was so drawn to you.

1:02:04 You're so incredible and it was it sucked me right in.

1:02:06 And your new show, if you know,

1:02:08 I'm sure the people listening to your podcast are already on to it.

1:02:11 But your new uh docu series on CNN is so compelling.

1:02:15 It's so good and it's so funny.

1:02:17 You're the perfect person to take us on that journey.

1:02:19 Yeah.

1:02:19 Where do you meet my keratar when I when I create a digital version of me?

1:02:23 A 3D version.

1:02:24 You'll like that.

1:02:24 It's very funny.

1:02:25 Oh my god.

1:02:26 Very funny.

1:02:26 I mean, I can't even believe that you did the where you had to put your face

1:02:29 in the aging thing and it told you how old

1:02:32 like you did so much stuff that I was like,

1:02:33 "Oh, I'm glad she is she she could do this because

1:02:37 I would be they got it exactly spot on." That was incredible.

1:02:41 And you showed us the side of Brian Johnson

1:02:43 where I was like I was watching with my boyfriend.

1:02:45 I go, I actually she she made me kind of like this guy.

1:02:48 I mean, you you definitely sad.

1:02:50 I roasted him and made him a human.

1:02:53 You roasted you did a you did a great job with him.

1:02:55 But I think he would I'm sure he's even really happy with that appearance like

1:02:58 I'm so sure.

1:02:59 No, he's not.

1:03:00 He should be because I I was terrified

1:03:02 of him before and I really afterwards was like,

1:03:04 "Oh, he's he's sweet and there's you know

1:03:07 this the sadness that it's like, oh, okay." At the very end of the show,

1:03:10 I always very end of every interview I ask people how they want to die.

1:03:14 Like it's a question I ask everyone and we strung them together.

1:03:17 Hands down, he had the best answer.

1:03:19 Now I'm wondering how I want to die.

1:03:20 But um thank thank you Cara.

1:03:22 I think I I mean I guess everyone just says in their sleep,

1:03:26 but I also was thinking um a bridge falling on me because I heard about a woman

1:03:30 who got squished by a bridge and it just happens so fast that you don't hear it,

1:03:35 you don't think about it and you are like pulverized into dust immediately

1:03:39 and that I think I know it sounds really horrible but I just wanted

1:03:43 I want it to be as quick as possible and I

1:03:45 would like to just they don't even have to cremate me.

1:03:47 they can just, you know, it I'm already dust because it would just be the most

1:03:52 not heard that way.

1:03:52 And I wouldn't know about it.

1:03:53 I would just be in traffic like checking my ways when I'm

1:03:56 going to get there and the answer is I'm getting there right now.

1:03:59 Don't know which way I'm going, but I'm I'm on my way.

1:04:02 Yeah.

1:04:02 Okay.

1:04:03 So, uh, but I hope no one else is injured in my bridge collapse.

1:04:07 No one.

1:04:07 No one.

1:04:08 You're it.

1:04:08 You're it.

1:04:08 You're so far it.

1:04:10 Anyway, I really appreciate it.

1:04:11 You're a wonderful You are so great to talk to.

1:04:13 Thank you so much, Cara.

1:04:14 Thank you.

1:04:15 Today's show was produced by Christian Castro Rel,

1:04:18 Michelle Aloy, Katherine Milsop, Megan Bernie, and Kayn Lynch.

1:04:21 Nishot Kerwa is Vox Media's executive producer of podcasts.

1:04:25 Special thanks to Meline Llant, Dubie, and Julia Sharp Lavine.

1:04:28 And our theme music is by Trackademics.

1:04:31 If you're already following this show, oh fun.

1:04:34 If not, you crashed in a private plane.

1:04:37 Thanks for watching.

1:04:38 See you on Thursday.