The Great Australian Snacking Disaster.

0:02 I mean, I don't know.

0:03 I bet you it's still good.

0:05 And this video is an epic Australian tale

0:07 of easily like the worst name product of our generation.

0:11 A name so bad it lasted 4 days.

0:15 Yes, 4 days.

0:17 A huge company with endless offices and all these resources

0:21 and this the thing we're talking about still made it to production.

0:29 [music] What is Vegemite?

0:30 It's the leftover yeast from beer making.

0:33 So that's why we're so Aussie about it.

0:35 It's yeast It's been heated and concentrated into a black salty paste.

0:40 Brand new eat too.

0:41 There you go.

0:42 Pretty pretty benign looking.

0:44 This stuff is pretty dense.

0:45 Like you got your teaspoon and like you can you can set it in there.

0:49 It stays.

0:49 [laughter] No, literally I'm looking at the spoon claim.

0:52 I absolutely adore this stuff.

0:54 For real, ever since I was a kid, right?

0:55 I'm a Vegemite kid.

0:57 I could totally get why some people find it absolutely vile.

1:00 The smell is something else.

1:01 James of James channel fame, he's nuts about this stuff too.

1:05 And we even tried to lubricate an engine with this stuff.

1:08 Is this wild?

1:09 Wow!

1:19 [laughter] It didn't work.

1:19 Culturally we have a strong bond with United Kingdom and you know,

1:23 they love this kind of stuff too.

1:24 Marmite, that's that's their one.

1:26 Although this is made in New Zealand.

1:28 This is a plastic container though.

1:30 This This is glass.

1:31 I haven't tried Marmite since I was like six.

1:35 Oh, it's different.

1:35 Okay, the smell is actually very similar.

1:38 Here we go.

1:38 Yeah.

1:39 Yeah, okay.

1:40 It's kind of like two different companies version of chocolate milk.

1:43 It's chocolate milk, but then like clearly there's a difference,

1:47 but it's of the same category.

1:49 Get the Mighty Mite happening.

1:50 There's so many versions of this stuff.

1:53 It's like everyone's making booze or something.

1:56 Oh, that's so different.

1:58 What's happening?

1:59 It's just getting right.

2:00 Look at it.

2:01 It jiggles.

2:01 Oh man, it's like jam.

2:05 [laughter] I mean, Marmite sure is something.

2:06 I mean, I like the mascot.

2:07 He's kind of like, "Ah, it's food." And just real quickly,

2:10 if any of you guys actually want to try Vegemite,

2:12 like you've got access to it and you don't know how to go about it,

2:14 make a grilled cheese sandwich.

2:16 And on the inside of one piece of bread, put this much on.

2:19 You see the picture here?

2:21 That much.

2:22 Don't overdo it.

2:22 If you overdo it, you may have a bad first experience,

2:25 you may never like it again.

2:26 And if it tickles you, go harder the next time.

2:30 Well, back in 2009, Vegemite sales were meh.

2:34 Kraft Foods, who owned Vegemite, needed to do something and and fast.

2:39 Funny enough, it was actually quite early days for big online surveys,

2:43 you know, like across the whole population.

2:44 And so they launched one.

2:45 They wanted to know what were people doing with it.

2:48 Like, were they mixing it with other stuff?

2:50 Because Vegemite doesn't really have a shelf life.

2:52 I mean, you know, everything expires.

2:54 Can we even find one on here?

2:55 Oh, it's 2026.

2:56 Is there actually an expiry on this?

2:58 I didn't know living things could live in something this salty.

3:01 I don't know.

3:02 We never threw it out.

3:03 Some of the oldest jars in the cupboard, we'd still scrape the last bit out.

3:06 But it's a product that you don't buy every week.

3:09 This tiny little jar goes such a long way.

3:11 It's why this massive commemorative jar

3:13 from like 30-something years ago is so funny.

3:15 Look how much this is.

3:17 And through the online survey that they did,

3:18 they realized moms were mixing with Kraft Philly cream

3:22 cheese to would take the edge off for their kids.

3:24 I mean, just use less if you want to take the edge off.

3:26 I've core memories of staying at my pop's house and he made me

3:29 toast as like a five-year-old and like I nearly died of sodium poisoning.

3:33 And he even backed off and went easy on me.

3:35 But Kraft took note of this, you know, and they own Kraft Philly cheese as well.

3:38 So they're like, "Oh, well, that's this works well.

3:40 Mix cheese and Vegemite in one go." I mean,

3:43 I don't like processed cream cheese, so it doesn't really interest me at all.

3:47 And the online campaign on how folks use Vegemite was like a huge success.

3:51 Like 300,000 people took part.

3:53 You know, in a country with a population the size of ours,

3:56 that's actual something.

3:57 And in 2009, it was released as a [music] name me product.

4:01 They'd already made the recipe,

4:02 they already made the thing, it just needed a name.

4:05 Now, I know what you're all thinking

4:06 and what the perfect name for a cheesy Vegemite?

4:10 Cheesy mate.

4:11 Already trademarked by Baker's Delight.

4:13 I mean, they do Cheesymite scrolls, which you know, I've talked about a lot of.

4:17 It's like a cinnamon roll, but it's Vegemite and cheese instead.

4:21 Gosh, that's so good.

4:22 What out of all the thousands upon thousands of names and suggestions,

4:26 the name that they went with I Snack 2.0.

4:34 Yeah.

4:35 So, it wasn't the most popular name picked from a big public vote.

4:39 It wasn't like, you know, people all put their pitch in.

4:41 The executives take out all the bum related

4:43 ones and the the penis and willy related ones,

4:47 you know, cuz that's what most online polls are.

4:49 It's like 99% garbage and the 1% actual, you know, actual submissions.

4:53 Turns out the original suggestion of this was I Spread 2.0.

4:58 Still not good, but Kraft wanted association with healthy snacking.

5:03 You know, healthy snacking with the combination of cheese and salt.

5:07 It's like the old food pyramid.

5:08 It's like this It's telling you to eat heaps of bread when you shouldn't.

5:12 So, I really it was only half of someone's

5:14 suggestion and then they just kind of made it worse.

5:17 Like, why bother asking people if you're not even going to listen to them?

5:20 But Kraft, they must have thought they had a winner cuz mate,

5:24 they chose one heck of a day to launch it with.

5:27 The day was September 26, 2009.

5:30 Also known as the 2009 AFL Grand Final.

5:35 A religious experience for a lot of the Aussie population.

5:37 It's the Super Bowl of Australia.

5:39 And compared to the NFL halftime shows,

5:42 it we really do look like the largest podunk small town in the world.

5:45 [laughter] It was during the big half time ad break, right?

5:50 And then they that's when they did it.

5:51 They launched the name.

5:52 The reaction?

5:54 Well, it was either stunned silence or absolute searing outrage.

6:00 Like personally, I adore it.

6:03 I I mean you can [laughter] Ice Snack 2.0.

6:07 What?

6:07 It's the most ambiguous and confusing name I've ever heard.

6:10 We can't make fun of something dumb if no

6:13 one is making dumb things to make fun of.

6:15 Like I knew it was going to be history.

6:17 I remember the day and the name was so well received.

6:21 It was so well taken in by the Australian

6:23 public that September 30th Kraft announces its death.

6:29 Four days in.

6:30 Four days.

6:31 I found this Harvard article.

6:34 Harvard?

6:35 Kraft spokesperson Simon Talbot revealed that the name Vegemite Ice

6:39 Snack 2.0 was chosen based on its personal call to action,

6:43 relevance to snacking,

6:45 and clear identification of a new and different Vegemite to the original.

6:48 Dean Robins, the 27-year-old web developer who coined it, yeah,

6:52 he just said that it was just a bit of fun.

6:54 It's like a bit of a meme.

6:55 It's tongue-in-cheek, right?

6:57 You know, the i phenomenon.

6:58 I mean like iPods were smashing, iMacs, you know, like Hyundai had the iLoad.

7:03 It was it was annoying.

7:04 Everyone just put the little i before everything.

7:06 And the 2.0 was in relation to web 2.0 because he's a web developer.

7:10 He just named it after his field of expertise, which he's allowed to do.

7:14 And uh yeah, like thankfully the internet wasn't super nasty about it.

7:18 Oh, that's a lie.

7:20 They were super nasty about it where like he actually got threats.

7:24 Actual threats.

7:25 I mean and it's still that way today.

7:27 Like rampant corruption of big companies and governments and whatnot.

7:30 Uh we'll worry about it later.

7:33 Oh, you put a dumb name on a salt and cheese spread?

7:36 I'm going to assault your family.

7:38 You wonder why things are the way they are.

7:39 And this is pre-brain rot days, [laughter] right?

7:42 People have always been nuts.

7:44 There were some fun wholesome memes though, like Rove did a skit about it.

7:47 It's on YouTube still, but was there any good news to this?

7:51 Funny enough, sales of Vegemite actually rose afterwards.

7:55 Bit of a new Coke thing.

7:56 You know, it got everyone talking about Vegemite.

7:58 You know, it was national news.

8:01 [laughter] And you know, like in the end, they didn't commit a crime.

8:04 They didn't assault, steal, or corrupt anything.

8:07 They mixed cheese and a Vegemite and gave it a dumb name.

8:10 I mean, compared to like today's controversies, where's the real drama?

8:14 Where's the real drama?

8:15 And yeah, look, they they dumped the name

8:17 and then they called it Cheesy Bite Vegemite.

8:20 Fine.

8:21 That's That's fine.

8:22 And it never went away, ever.

8:24 This entire time you could always get iSnack 2.0.

8:28 And in fact, in February 2022, it was renamed again.

8:31 They just call it Vegemite and Cheese.

8:34 If you can't be creative, just be practical.

8:37 And uh Kraft doesn't own it anymore.

8:39 Now it's Bega?

8:40 Bega?

8:41 I don't know.

8:41 Is that a Q or a G or I don't know.

8:43 Oh, see, the camera don't even want to look at it.

8:45 You know what?

8:46 I've never tried this stuff.

8:48 Yes, we are going to open this.

8:50 This is the real deal.

8:53 Ooh, best before 2010.

8:55 Do you think it's still good 16 years later?

8:59 And the way it's Oh, it's separating.

9:05 [screaming] Oh, it's gross.

9:05 Color-wise, it's actually pretty close.

9:08 But I've never ever tried this.

9:11 It I don't know.

9:12 I I don't want cheap cheese mixing my Vegemite.

9:15 I'd rather Vegemite and real cheese.

9:17 Oh, look look, they got a Cheez Whiz scroll right on the front.

9:20 Oh my gosh, they're heavy-handed with this stuff.

9:23 Maybe it's like really mild.

9:25 I mean, it it was meant to just be an easier version.

9:29 Okay.

9:30 Not appealing.

9:32 Slightly offensive.

9:35 That just smells like pure Vegemite.

9:37 Uh does it hold the spoon?

9:38 [music] Not really.

9:40 No, it's it's kind of more like

9:42 peanut butter only super super offensive looking.

9:46 All right, [music] my first taste of I snack 2.0.

9:51 Yeah.

9:52 Okay.

9:53 Yeah.

9:55 Funny enough, it still has heaps of the Vegemite punch to it.

10:00 So if you hate Vegemite, this will not do it for you.

10:03 And then it's got this cheap cheese twist to it.

10:05 Now looking at how heavy-handed they're using it

10:07 there and going I would not do that.

10:09 I never thought this product would be for me and I I was dead right.

10:13 Terrifyingly, oh look, right out the gate, I'm not tasting this.

10:18 This is 16-year-old expired cheese paste with ridiculous yeast and salt in it.

10:26 I'm not going to.

10:26 I'll give it a good old whiff for you.

10:28 We can look at the color and see how bad it's gotten.

10:33 [laughter]

10:32 I don't want to do this.

10:35 Oh, I'd rather the money, mate.

10:37 Oh, it don't The universe is telling me no.

10:43 [screaming and groaning] Gosh.

10:43 Oh no, the universe is fighting back.

10:45 It's telling me not to do this.

10:47 All right, we're going to go again.

10:49 Oh, it popped.

10:51 I got it open.

10:53 I'm I'm terrified.

10:54 I've had these for years, guys.

10:56 I've I've been sitting on this for a while.

11:03 You know what?

11:04 You know, funny enough, it's got the weird bubbles on top that the new one has.

11:08 If anything, the new one kind of looks

11:09 more offensive cuz it actually looks like,

11:11 you know, like creamy baby poo or something.

11:14 Frank's made this color once.

11:16 Oh man.

11:21 [laughter] [clears throat] [laughter] Damn it.

11:34 Ah!

11:35 [screaming] No, no, no, no, no.

11:42 No, no, no, no, no.

11:44 It's runny.

11:45 Why is it so runny?

11:47 Oh, no.

11:49 Oh, no, this iPad.

11:51 Oh, crap.

11:53 Oh, I [screaming] Oh, it stinks.

12:03 [groaning and screaming] Oh, gosh, no.

12:10 [snorts] Ah, this is the worst.

12:11 We use this to clean engine bays.

12:13 I'm so glad garbage time is just next door.

12:16 Oh, look how clean the iPad's getting.

12:18 Oh, my god.

12:19 Oh, I touched it.

12:20 This is a nightmare.

12:21 This is such a big mistake.

12:23 So, yeah, I snack 2.0,

12:26 a product I was never interested in and then finally got to try and it was like,

12:31 yep, [music] I wasn't interested in that.

12:32 And yet, it made national news and just distracted us from bigger,

12:36 more important things, at least for a fortnight or so.

12:41 What a mistake.

12:42 It's [laughter] so runny.

12:43 And that's it.

12:44 Thank you so much for suffering through this.

12:46 Huge thanks to these stinky names I hear there.

12:48 I big $10 float planes.

12:50 Thank you so much.

12:51 That's how you can support me.

12:52 You know, I got so much content there.

12:54 Like, it's over like 1,200 plus videos.

12:57 So many constantly coming out.

12:59 Huge back catalog.

13:00 There is an option just to chuck me a dollar just to help out.

13:03 My goodness, I really, really appreciate you cuz um I'm going to have to burn

13:06 this whole this whole set down to get rid of that smell.

13:09 And so, yeah, thanks.

13:11 You can help me afford a new table.

13:13 And you know what, mate?

13:13 So, I'll see you all next time.

13:24 All right.

13:28 All right, she spotted the phone.

13:32 She spotted the phone, we're in big trouble.

13:36 Nah.

13:37 She's triangulating something.

13:40 She does this when she's trying to figure out how far away something is.

13:44 It could be her in clo- like she loves it in there.

13:47 Frank, it's hams time.

13:49 We're having hams time, Frank.

13:52 Come over here and enjoy hams time.

13:54 Frank, all you do is sit in that box.

13:59 [sighs] You're lucky you're so iridescent.

14:01 You're lucky.