Why You Freeze When You Speak English (Even After Years of Practice)

0:00 You've studied English for years.

0:02 You've practiced English for years,

0:04 yet you still freeze when you go to speak English.

0:08 You still feel nervous.

0:10 You still have beads of sweat coming down your face,

0:13 or it seems like when you go to try to speak English.

0:18 Why does this happen?

0:20 Are you ready?

0:21 Well, then, let's jump right in.

0:24 Reason number one why you freeze when you speak English,

0:28 because your brain switches into survival mode the moment someone is watching.

0:37 You see, when you feel pressure,

0:40 like an interview or a presentation or even a simple question,

0:45 your amygdala fires a threat signal, and your brain,

0:49 trying to protect you, pulls resources away from the language centers you need.

0:56 You see, it's not weakness, because you're intelligent.

0:59 You're amazing.

1:00 It's not weakness, it's actually biology doing

1:03 exactly what it was designed to do.

1:07 Your brain is trying to protect you.

1:11 Your brain is going into survival mode.

1:15 What does this actually look like?

1:17 Let's look at the breakdown.

1:19 Here's the trigger.

1:21 The moment you feel pressure, like someone waiting for you to speak.

1:25 You're in a conversation.

1:27 They ask you a question and then they stop.

1:30 And look at you, waiting for you to give an answer.

1:33 There's a tiny part of your brain called the amygdala.

1:37 This is your brain's alarm system.

1:39 It starts to send out an emergency signal.

1:43 What does this look like?

1:45 You're in this conversation.

1:47 The person is looking at you, waiting for you to give an answer.

1:57 And your brain realizes, "Okay, we we feel your body language is changing."

2:04 And your brain starts sending out this emergency signal.

2:12 "Hey, something's wrong.

2:13 This individual is stressed.

2:15 We need to protect her." And all of a sudden, it goes into protection mode.

2:22 But protection mode inhibits you from accessing the English in your brain.

2:29 You need to speak, but you can't because your brain is now saying,

2:34 "Hey, this is a dangerous situation.

2:37 Let's protect him.

2:39 Let's protect her." You see,

2:41 it decides that speaking English in front of someone is a threat,

2:47 just like danger would be.

2:49 So, every time you're in this situation, your brain says, "Nope.

2:54 We're freezing.

2:55 We're shutting down.

2:57 This is not a safe environment.

2:59 Speaking English, nope.

3:01 Something about this is not good." So, your brain says,

3:06 "No." It's not going to let you access the English.

3:10 This is the trigger that happens in your brain.

3:13 So, how can you avoid this?

3:15 How can you stop freezing?

3:17 How can you finally stop your brain from going into survival mode?

3:22 Here is the solution.

3:24 You have to create low-pressure speaking moments every day.

3:30 Remember, what we just saw was a situation

3:34 where the brain says, "This is dangerous.

3:36 This is dangerous." You need to create moments that are not dangerous.

3:41 You see, the more your brain

3:42 experiences speaking English without anything bad happening,

3:48 the less it treats speaking as a threat.

3:53 So, you're going to start with tiny zero stakes moments.

3:57 For example, ordering coffee in English, talking to yourself in English,

4:02 leaving yourself a voice memo in English.

4:05 Each safe speaking moment builds new

4:09 evidence that English conversations are not dangerous.

4:13 So, instead of your brain saying, "Oh, no.

4:16 English is on the don't do list, the absolutely avoid list." Now,

4:24 your brain has different experiences to feed off of.

4:29 You're going to get your coffee.

4:32 Maybe you like to go to Starbucks.

4:35 And in order to get your coffee,

4:38 you actually have to speak in English, but you're not stressed.

4:44 So, you ask for the coffee.

4:47 And now, all of a sudden, the alarm bells are gone.

4:51 English is now safe.

4:53 So, instead of the danger, now there is the proceed forward.

5:00 Go.

5:01 Like a light.

5:02 Hey, this is a good situation.

5:04 Now, English is actually something positive and not negative.

5:11 So, it's important, once again,

5:14 to practice in low pressure speaking environments or creating these moments.

5:23 Here's reason number two why you freeze when you speak English.

5:28 Speaking asks your brain to do six things at once, and it drops everything.

5:36 It's overloading your brain.

5:38 You see, while you speak,

5:39 your brain is finding words, building grammar, monitoring pronunciation,

5:45 tracking the listener's face, managing your emotions,

5:48 and planning your next sentence, all simultaneously.

5:54 You're asking your brain to do all of these things at the same time.

5:58 Working memory has a limit.

6:01 So, when that limit is hit, the whole system stalls.

6:07 The freeze is not failure.

6:10 It's just overload.

6:13 I need you to remember this.

6:15 The freeze is not failure.

6:17 You are intelligent.

6:18 Your brain is amazing.

6:20 It's just being overloaded.

6:22 So, let me break this down even more.

6:24 You see, the second you start speaking English,

6:27 your brain tries to juggle many tasks at the exact same time.

6:32 Finding words, building sentences,

6:34 checking pronunciation, watching the listener,

6:37 managing nerves, and planning what comes next.

6:39 Let me show you this visually.

6:41 So, again, your brain, an amazing brain.

6:45 You are an amazing individual.

6:47 Let's imagine this is your brain, okay?

6:54 And when you go to speak, you're asking your brain to do many different things.

7:01 But, we have six things that we are specifically asking your brain to do.

7:09 You want your brain to do these things.

7:13 You have six things right here.

7:14 You want your brain to find words, build sentences.

7:18 Let's write this down.

7:19 Find words.

7:22 You want it to build sentences.

7:27 This is all happening at the same time.

7:30 Then, you want it to check pronunciation and watch the listener,

7:34 their body language.

7:35 So, check pronunciation.

7:39 Then, you are looking at body language.

7:43 Is the person enjoying talking to you?

7:45 Looking at body language.

7:50 Then on top of that, you're also managing your nerves.

7:55 Are you nervous?

7:55 Are you trying to stay calm?

7:57 Managing your nerves and planning what comes next.

8:01 So, you're managing your nerves, trying to not be nervous,

8:07 and you're planning what comes next.

8:14 All of this is happening at the same time.

8:20 Your brain is being overloaded.

8:24 There's so much happening, and your brain gets full.

8:31 This is why speaking asking your brain

8:35 to do six things leads to it dropping everything.

8:39 So, what's the solution?

8:40 Because these things are important.

8:43 What's the solution?

8:44 How can you stop the overload?

8:46 Here is the solution.

8:49 Practice speaking on topics you already know deeply.

8:55 Things that you already have stored information in your brain about.

8:59 So, when the subject is familiar,

9:02 your brain spends less working memory on finding ideas,

9:07 which frees up space for the language itself.

9:12 So, picking three topics.

9:14 This is our focus.

9:14 Pick three topics you know extremely well in your native language.

9:19 So, now we're going to have your brain focused on topics you know well.

9:29 So, now we have your brain again.

9:33 Let's say now you're focusing on three topics.

9:37 So, we have topic number one, topic number two, and topic number three.

9:49 Now, these are topics that you are

9:52 already very familiar with in your own language.

9:58 So, in your brain, you already have areas

10:03 where information related to these topic actually live.

10:08 You already have the information in your brain.

10:11 So, you have these three topics,

10:13 and you're going to practice speaking about only

10:16 those topics in English until the words flow more easily.

10:23 You see, familiarity with the content reduces the overall cognitive load.

10:28 So, you'll no longer experience this cognitive overload.

10:32 Why?

10:33 Because you're speaking about topics you are familiar with.

10:37 So, again, you're going to focus on speaking

10:42 about topics that you are familiar with.

10:49 This is now your goal, and this will help you avoid that cognitive overload.

10:57 Again, finally stop freezing when you speak English.

11:02 Here's reason number three.

11:05 Stress hormones literally block the part of your brain that stores vocabulary.

11:12 So, when cortisol floods your system under pressure, it impairs the hippocampus,

11:18 the brain region most involved in retrieving words and language memories.

11:24 This is why you can remember a word perfectly at home,

11:29 and then completely go blank the moment you're in a high stakes conversation.

11:35 It's chemistry, not capability.

11:37 Again, you are intelligent, you're smart.

11:40 This is just the way your body is made up.

11:43 So, let's break this down a little bit more.

11:44 Here's the breakdown.

11:46 When you feel nervous or under pressure,

11:49 your body releases a chemical called cortisol, your stress hormone.

11:55 And a little cortisol is helpful, but too much of it,

11:59 too fast, causes problems in your brain.

12:03 So, let's see this visually.

12:04 So, I want you to think about this.

12:05 Again, you're in a situation, a stress-free situation.

12:11 So, we have a stress-free situation.

12:18 You can think clearly.

12:21 There are no problems at all.

12:26 Everything is going well, stress-free,

12:31 meaning you can speak without any issues, no problems at all.

12:38 And then we have a situation where stress is at its height.

12:48 Again, you're speaking with someone and you get nervous.

12:52 You see, what happens is when you get nervous, that stress hormone is released.

13:00 And it actually causes you to freeze up.

13:05 But it's going all throughout,

13:07 and this stops your brain from working properly because the stress is so high.

13:17 This is what happens when you freeze.

13:20 You have the information inside, but you're so stressed, you tense up.

13:24 How How you solve this?

13:26 Here is the solution for this issue.

13:30 Practice retrieving words under mild pressure.

13:36 Remember, we looked at situations where the pressure is at its height.

13:42 You're completely stressed, but no,

13:44 what you want to do is practice retrieving words under mild pressure.

13:49 So, the hippocampus gets better at working under stress

13:53 when it has been trained to do so gradually.

13:57 It's like an athlete training to prepare for a race.

14:01 There has to be some level of stress in order

14:04 to prepare that athlete for the actual high-stress situation.

14:09 So, let's look at it like this.

14:12 When you're at home, you're practicing in different situations, right?

14:19 Well, go out and be in a situation where,

14:24 instead of, let's say, 10 people, there are three people.

14:28 Yes, this is kind of stressful,

14:32 but not as stressful as the previous situation we were talking about,

14:36 where if the stress is very high.

14:39 So, you have to practice, okay, even though I'm a little stressed,

14:42 I can still get some words out.

14:45 Then you need to practice in another situation

14:47 where the stress levels go just a bit higher.

14:51 Maybe you have to give a presentation,

14:54 and there are many more people watching you.

14:59 But, you have to practice, and each time you're increasing your stress level.

15:07 So, here's another way of doing this.

15:09 Create a low-pressure environment, low-level, for yourself at home.

15:14 Set a timer for 60 seconds and talk about a topic without out So,

15:22 you have your timer and you're going to set it for 60 seconds.

15:28 Now, this 60-second period is going to be

15:34 the amount of time that you have to speak.

15:38 You have to speak for that 60-second period.

15:43 Remember, about a topic that you enjoy, but you must keep talking.

15:50 This 60-second timer is creating that level

15:55 of pressure you need to practice under.

15:58 You see, the mild pressure trains your brain

16:01 to retrieve words even when cortisol is present.

16:04 So, real conversations feel less overwhelming over time.

16:09 This is a powerful, powerful practice you can do at home.

16:13 So, again, practice retrieving words under mild pressure.

16:17 Here is reason number four why you freeze when you speak English.

16:22 You're watching yourself speak and that self-monitoring

16:27 is actually what trips you up.

16:29 You see, research calls it monitor hypothesis.

16:34 When you pay too much attention to whether you're speaking correctly,

16:39 you interrupt your own fluency.

16:41 It's the same reason a tightrope walker falls the moment they look down.

16:47 The self-consciousness itself becomes the obstacle, not your actual ability.

16:53 Again, I'm continuing to emphasize this.

16:55 You are intelligent.

16:56 It's not about your ability, it's about breaking these habits.

17:00 So, what does this look like?

17:01 Let's kind of break this down a little bit more.

17:04 As you speak, a part of your brain becomes a critic listening

17:10 to every word you say and checking it against the grammar rules you've learned.

17:15 This is called the monitor.

17:18 It's the voice in your head saying, "Wait, is that right?" So,

17:21 while you're speaking, you're in this conversation with another individual.

17:26 You're having a conversation and the conversation is it's going okay.

17:32 But, as you're speaking to the individual,

17:38 there's something happening in your head.

17:43 Now, the individual is listening to you and does

17:47 not know what's going on in your head.

17:50 But, there's this little person and the person has what seems

17:57 to be a clipboard in your brain and the person is checking,

18:02 "Hey, was that right?" I don't know if that was right or not.

18:05 So, as you're speaking, this monitor continues to check everything that you're

18:09 saying and this actually causes you to freeze up.

18:14 So, how can you solve this?

18:15 How can you remove this from your mind?

18:18 Here is the solution.

18:20 Practice speaking without stopping to correct yourself.

18:24 Just speak.

18:24 Don't stop.

18:25 Don't worry about the critic, just keep speaking.

18:27 You see, at home, I want you to record yourself.

18:31 You can use your phone if you'd like

18:32 to record yourself speaking for 2 minutes on any topic.

18:38 So, again, here are the parameters.

18:40 You're at home and you want to set a timer.

18:45 And this timer is going to be for 2 minutes.

18:52 For this 2-minute period, you are going to speak without stopping.

19:00 You can pick the topic, but you're going to speak without stopping.

19:06 And that inner critic that was there before with the clipboard,

19:12 you're going to tell that inner critic to leave.

19:17 Just keep speaking.

19:20 Don't stop.

19:21 Don't worry about making mistakes.

19:23 Just keep speaking.

19:26 Now, the rule, no stopping, no correcting, and no starting over.

19:32 Keep going no matter what comes out.

19:35 Do this daily.

19:37 You see, over time, this trains your brain to let

19:41 speech just flow without waiting for the monitor's approval,

19:46 which is exactly the skill fluent speaking requires.

19:50 Ignore the monitor and just simply speak.

19:56 This is how you will improve.

20:01 What about reason number five, why you freeze when you speak English?

20:08 Reason number five is in English, you feel like a younger,

20:13 smaller version of yourself, and that person is scared.

20:16 Again, I have been through this.

20:18 I speak Korean, and I remember when I was learning Korean,

20:21 all of these emotions, I would freeze when I was trying to speak,

20:24 so I understand what you're going through.

20:26 You see, in your native language, you're an adult.

20:29 You're competent, you're articulate, you're funny.

20:32 But in English, limited vocabulary forces

20:35 you into simpler thoughts and simpler expressions.

20:40 That emotional gap between you, who you are, and who you sound like,

20:45 creates a kind of shame,

20:47 and it makes you want to stay quiet rather than reveal the gap.

20:52 You don't want to show the gap.

20:54 So, let me break this down even more.

20:57 You see, in your native language,

20:58 you have decades of practice expressing exactly who you are,

21:03 your humor, your intelligence, your personality.

21:07 But in English, it's different.

21:09 So, we have two individuals that we're talking about.

21:13 They're both you.

21:15 The first individual, again, is you based on your native language.

21:24 You have a solid foundation because you have years upon

21:30 years and decades of learning and practicing in your own language.

21:38 Your native language helps you to shine.

21:44 You know how to express You can

21:49 shine when you're speaking in your native language.

21:57 But then we have the other side.

21:59 English.

22:01 In English, your limited vocabulary forces you

22:03 to express much simpler versions of your thoughts.

22:07 You feel the gap between who you are and who you sound like.

22:12 And this is where it gets very frustrating because you freeze a lot more.

22:18 So, your foundation is not as solid.

22:22 It's a a bit broken.

22:23 Your steps are not as full because you don't have

22:30 as much information in English as you do in your native language.

22:38 So, you're not able to shine as much when you speak English.

22:46 So, how do we solve this?

22:48 How can you finally stop feeling like this younger, smaller version of yourself?

22:53 And before I give you the solution,

22:55 I do want to remind you that you are, say it with me, Intelligent.

23:03 Don't feel bad.

23:05 You just need to learn how to overcome this.

23:08 Here's the solution.

23:09 The solution is find the English words for the topics that define you.

23:18 You see, you feel most like yourself

23:19 when talking about things you care about deeply.

23:23 Pick two or three topics that are central to who you are.

23:27 Let me show you what this would look like.

23:28 So, what you're going to do is we're going to build you up.

23:32 You're going to pick two to three topics.

23:37 Let's say this one topic is right here.

23:39 A topic that you are very knowledgeable on.

23:43 Pick two to three topics.

23:46 This is topic one right here.

23:50 And this is topic number two.

23:53 You're picking two topics.

23:56 And you're going to They can be about your work, your passions, your opinions.

23:59 You're going to learn the specific vocabulary for those topics in English.

24:05 So, now you're picking vocabulary.

24:10 You're picking expressions related to these topics.

24:17 And what's going to happen?

24:18 Your foundation in English is going to start to get stronger.

24:23 You see, when you can express the things that matter most to you,

24:27 the gap between who you are and who you

24:29 would or who you sound like begins to close.

24:33 Now, what's going to happen?

24:36 Your light is going to start shining brighter.

24:40 Why?

24:40 Because you're building on things you actually know.

24:45 Find the English words for the topics that define you.

24:50 Now, before we get to our sixth reason,

24:53 I want to tell you that this lesson is being brought to you by my app,

24:58 the English with Tiffany app.

24:59 Why is this important?

25:01 The app is free to download, but the app continues with my passion of helping

25:07 English learners around the world just like you.

25:10 So, the app has been downloaded by hundreds of thousands of students,

25:14 and I want to show you each month I add

25:18 a brand new course specifically for immigrants living in America.

25:23 But, there are many courses, so even if you're not an immigrant.

25:27 For example, each week we upload lessons connected to these YouTube lessons,

25:32 and you can go and find them.

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25:36 If you click there, you'll find tons of lessons.

25:40 For example, from last year 2025,

25:42 you hit the lesson and you can watch the video,

25:45 you can practice, and you can continue improving your English.

25:49 This app will help you.

25:51 You always have your phone with you.

25:53 You can even learn more, for example, about various topics.

25:57 We're learning about how to help you stop freezing.

26:00 Well, there's a topical English section.

26:03 You hit that, and there are topics listed.

26:05 For example, technology.

26:07 You'll learn vocabulary words, expressions,

26:10 and different conversational dialogues you can practice related to the topics.

26:15 So, you can download the app totally for free.

26:18 Again, this app will help you improve your English.

26:22 It is my way of helping you and many other English learners.

26:25 So, download the app totally for free.

26:28 There's a premium section that if you'd

26:29 like to become a premium member, you can.

26:31 But, even if you don't,

26:33 you can download it for free and continue improving your English.

26:36 My goal as your English teacher is to help you move forward

26:39 on your English journey and remind you always that you are intelligent.

26:44 So, you ready to go to the next reason?

26:47 Let's continue.

26:48 Now, our next reason is reason number six.

26:53 Your brain is convinced you'll be rejected if you make a mistake.

27:00 And rejection is a survival threat.

27:04 You see, the brain processes social rejection

27:07 using the same neural pathways as physical pain.

27:11 When you fear judgment of your English, your brain isn't being dramatic.

27:17 It's running an ancient safety program.

27:21 The freeze response is your nervous system trying

27:24 to protect you from what it perceives as genuine danger.

27:29 Let's break this down even more.

27:31 So, when you worry that someone will judge your English,

27:36 your brain treats that fear like a physical danger.

27:41 So, for example, if you're having a conversation with someone,

27:45 you're in the midst of a conversation and the person has just finished speaking.

27:51 And now that person is waiting for you to speak.

27:58 They're looking at you.

28:00 They're ready for you to respond.

28:03 But as they're looking at you, as they're waiting for you to respond,

28:08 there's a signal that's being sent out and your brain is saying,

28:11 "Hey, I don't know why, but it feels like danger.

28:16 Something is happening.

28:18 We need to protect ourselves." There's this danger

28:22 signal that goes out and you start to freeze.

28:26 You see, this isn't an exaggeration.

28:30 Being judged or left out by others activates

28:34 the exact same area of the brain as physical pain.

28:37 So, when you're in this situation, and it happens many times when there are

28:42 several people waiting for you to give a response.

28:45 Remember, I've had this happen to me before.

28:48 That signal continues to go off because everyone is waiting on you.

28:53 Everyone is wondering, "Hey, are you going to say anything?

28:56 What are you doing?" And that signal is danger, danger, danger.

29:01 There's an issue.

29:03 So, how do you stop that trigger?

29:05 How can you stop feeling like, "Oh, if I make a mistake,

29:08 they won't want to talk to me anymore." Here's the solution.

29:13 The solution is speak first in safe relationships.

29:20 Think about those relationships you have where

29:23 the person you're speaking to, the friend, makes you feel safe.

29:26 So, the fear of rejection is lowest with people you already trust.

29:32 So, I want you to think about those individuals.

29:34 And again, this has happened to me before as well.

29:37 I knew people who made me feel comfortable.

29:41 So, think about those individuals.

29:44 The individuals who, when you're with them,

29:47 make you feel like you can accomplish anything.

29:52 These individuals can be your safe zone.

29:57 When you're with these individuals, you feel completely safe.

30:04 And when you feel safe, you will speak without being nervous.

30:10 So, the fear of rejection is lowest with people you already trust.

30:15 Identify one or two people in your life, a friend,

30:18 a colleague, a family member, with whom you feel completely safe.

30:23 Practice speaking English with them first and only.

30:27 Build your evidence of safety in low-risk

30:31 relationships before expanding to higher-stakes ones.

30:35 So, you're in this safe environment.

30:38 Speak with these individuals as much as possible.

30:44 What's going to happen?

30:45 You're going to build your confidence.

30:48 You're going to build your feelings of safety

30:51 and this will affect you as you move to other conversations.

30:57 So, speak first in safe relationships.

31:00 This leads us to reason number seven why you freeze when you speak English.

31:06 Every time you stayed silent to avoid a mistake,

31:10 you taught your brain that silence is the right answer.

31:15 You see, avoidance is self-reinforcing.

31:18 Each time you chose not to speak to protect yourself from embarrassment,

31:23 your brain registered, "Oh, silence worked.

31:27 Nothing bad happened." Over hundreds of avoided moments,

31:32 silence becomes the default response.

31:35 The freeze isn't a failure of willpower.

31:38 It's a deeply practiced habit and I feel like I

31:41 am speaking directly to myself because literally I did this.

31:46 This was me so many times when I was studying and learning Korean.

31:50 I would just be silent because I was nervous

31:52 and I would freeze and it would be my default.

31:54 Just be silent, smile, and let the other person speak.

31:58 So, what really triggers this?

31:59 Let's break this down.

32:01 Every time you felt the urge to speak but chose silence instead,

32:07 your brain noticed what happened next.

32:10 Nothing.

32:11 Nothing bad happened next.

32:14 So, when you were in a situation and you had two decisions.

32:19 You're in a situation and there are people waiting to hear from you.

32:27 Or you're in conversations and you're a little bit nervous,

32:31 but you have two choices.

32:36 You can either speak and possibly make a mistake,

32:40 maybe feel nervous, or you can say nothing.

32:47 And when you choose to say nothing, what's the result?

32:56 Nothing bad happens.

32:58 You are safe.

33:01 But on the opposite side, if you choose to speak,

33:04 there's this nervousness, so you feel like,

33:07 "Oh, it could be danger on this side, but if I simply stay quiet,

33:11 I will be safe." So, your brain says, "Okay,

33:17 this is what we're going to choose each time,

33:21 just to be silent and protect ourselves." No embarrassment,

33:27 no judgment, no discomfort.

33:29 Your brain filed that away as, "Hey, this is a successful strategy.

33:35 You're safe, let's do this each and every time." But this is not what

33:39 you need to do if you want to stop freezing, you need to speak.

33:42 So, how can you do this?

33:44 Here's the solution.

33:46 Track your speaking moments, not your mistakes.

33:50 You see, your brain has been tracking silence as success for years.

33:56 It's been looking at your silence like,

33:58 "Yep, we were silent yesterday, check, good job.

34:01 You were silent 2 days ago and everything was fine, check, good job.

34:04 You were silent 3 weeks ago and nothing happened, check,

34:07 good job." You need to stop checking off when you were silent.

34:11 Flip the metric.

34:12 Instead, at the end of each day, count how many times you spoke English,

34:18 not how correctly, not how fluently, just how many times.

34:22 So, you're going to take out of your notebook and you're going to write down,

34:26 or you can have it on your phone, but just have a checklist.

34:29 Let's say today is Let's do Sunday.

34:32 Let's say today is Sunday.

34:34 And you go home and you're trying to see how many times did I speak English?

34:44 Question is how many times?

34:46 Oh, at the coffee shop.

34:47 One.

34:48 At the coffee shop.

34:51 What's the second one?

34:52 Oh, in class.

34:56 Write down how many times you actually spoke English.

35:02 These become your metric for winning.

35:06 Your metric for seeing if you are improving.

35:09 You see, write the number down.

35:12 When your brain starts measuring success by speaking rather than by silence,

35:17 the habit begins to shift from the inside out.

35:23 Track your speaking moments, not your mistakes.