I am the worst chef on youtube

0:00 Last year I started 2025 off by making a video where I forced myself

0:04 to cook every recipe that came up on one of my social media feeds.

0:08 And I guess it went pretty well because I had multiple people

0:11 tell me that I was on their YouTube wrapped as a cooking channel.

0:15 All it takes is one video and your entire career path changes.

0:19 I'm a chef now and there's nothing you or I can do about it.

0:23 I decided to make that video again for the same reasons I did last time,

0:27 which is that turning self-improvement activities into content is unfortunately

0:31 the only way to get myself to actually do them.

0:33 My goal last time was to expand my repertoire of healthy meals

0:38 and then I kind of just made six different versions of meat bread.

0:41 I'm gonna try to focus a little bit more on variety this time,

0:44 at least as much as I can.

0:46 My algorithm still hasn't recovered from my protein video.

0:49 To make my meals even more convenient, I store them in easy to access areas.

0:53 My guess it knows I'm a pretty healthy guy.

0:55 That's why I've spent the past four years gaining

0:58 and losing the same seven pounds over and over again.

1:01 This year though, this year's gonna be different.

1:04 Yeah, this time will be different.

1:06 2026 is nothing like 2025, even though I'm the same person with the same brain.

1:13 I've seen so many variations of this high

1:16 protein pizza because instead of using dough,

1:18 you use chicken and then there's protein from the chicken

1:21 and there's protein from the cheese and there's protein from the pepperoni.

1:23 In fact, in this entire pizza, if I were to eat it all in one sitting,

1:26 it would be 179 grams of protein.

1:29 I'm probably not going to do that.

1:31 I'm gonna start as I do with all foods,

1:34 with one bite and work my way up from there.

1:36 Touch raw chicken, gotta wash my hands.

1:39 Touch raw eggs, gotta wash my hands.

1:41 Don't mind me, I'm just grating cheese.

1:43 I'm following the instructions perfectly.

1:45 If it looks like there's a little bit of a different kind of cheese in there,

1:48 it's not because I accidentally put in the mozzarella

1:51 when I was supposed to do Parmesan.

1:52 It wouldn't be that because I know how to read.

1:54 I wouldn't make a mistake that simple.

1:56 Oh yeah, that's looking real nice.

1:59 God, why must you give your hardest battles to your weakest soldiers?

2:03 I wanna lick that bowl clean so bad.

2:05 I can hear BimBim running around like crazy.

2:07 She loves pizza.

2:08 She's never had it before, but she fucking loves it.

2:14 Ooh, that's what I like to see.

2:16 I'm not dying tonight.

2:17 This is the first time it started to smell like pizza.

2:20 And what do I do first?

2:22 The the pepperoni or the cheese?

2:23 I didn't work at Papa John's like my friend did.

2:25 I worked at a snow cone restaurant and none

2:28 of the skills I learned there have translated to real life.

2:31 (bright Italian music) You know, if you look a little too closely at the edges,

2:40 it is slightly abhorrent, but if you ignore that, it kinda looks like pizza.

2:45 Every step of the process, it's gotten a little bit closer to looking like

2:50 pizza and this is as close as it's gonna get.

2:54 I gotta stay so far pretty heavy

2:55 on the ratio of ground chicken to everything else.

2:58 It mostly just tastes like a giant chicken nugget,

3:01 but just like slimier, (funky music) Hey, do you want a slice?

3:12 No interest at all.

3:13 That's not a good sign.

3:15 I honestly love all of the parts of it that aren't

3:18 the ground chicken crust probably because

3:20 everything else is just regular pizza ingredients,

3:23 so that's the part that tastes like pizza.

3:25 I love how all of the top comments on this video were like,

3:28 that's way too much to eat all in one sitting.

3:30 You don't need to worry about that.

3:32 Okay, I'm struggling to finish half.

3:34 I don't think I'd eat the whole thing with a gun to my head.

3:36 It was a pound of chicken, two eggs, a whole bunch of cheese, pepperoni.

3:42 I think that's all of the ingredients.

3:44 Most things with this much protein don't taste this good.

3:48 I would give that like a high B to a low A.

3:51 Oh god, that was a lot.

3:53 All right, pulling double duty today.

3:55 I got some chicken mozzarella sticks that this guy's

3:59 just like pointing at and on the side, this.

4:02 Honestly looks good.

4:04 Might be the only ethical use of cottage cheese I've seen in an Instagram video.

4:08 I do love how many of these videos start off with, did

4:11 you know before saying like the weirdest bullshit you've ever heard?

4:14 No, actually I didn't know that.

4:16 I didn't know you could bake cottage cheese into chips.

4:20 Where the hell would I even get that information?

4:23 Really running outta space already.

4:25 I think I'm only gonna be able to fit six on here.

4:27 If I'm gonna all the trouble to do this, I'm not gonna only make six.

4:30 All the trouble to do this and I'm

4:32 just putting cottage cheese on a baking sheet.

4:34 My standard for what counts as cooking is so low.

4:37 I have a bigger baking sheet.

4:38 I'm gonna use a different one instead.

4:42 I'm just doing six, I'm just gonna do six.

4:43 I don't even know if I like them yet.

4:45 I'm like, I gotta make a hundred.

4:48 Okay, and now we wait 35 to 45 minutes

4:52 and in the meantime gonna air fry these things.

4:55 Why am I just start finding out that if you take six cheese sticks

4:57 and a pound of ground chicken and wrap the cheese sticks in the chicken,

5:00 you get stuffed chicken fries that are

5:02 local high protein and taste absolutely phenomenal.

5:04 What do you mean?

5:05 Why are you just finding this out?

5:07 Why am I just finding out?

5:08 You clearly watched someone else's video and instead of sharing

5:11 it or stitching it even and giving them credit,

5:14 you just took a bunch of screenshots that you can point at and be like,

5:17 oh, did you know about this?

5:19 What the heck?

5:20 Am I the only one that finds it insane?

5:22 This video is peak short form content.

5:24 This is a guy who understands that nobody is ever making any of these recipes.

5:29 They just want to look at them.

5:31 They just want to be impressed by new information.

5:34 Wait guys, exciting news.

5:37 Hulu just updated their terms and conditions.

5:40 (bright music) Sorry, this is the only way I could think to do this.

5:44 The important thing is it's gonna be fresh

5:48 and they say being a YouTuber isn't hard work.

5:51 (cat meows) BimBim wants me to feed her.

5:53 I've always done this thing where when daylight savings time comes,

5:55 I normally feed her at five o'clock,

5:57 but then daylight savings comes and five o'clock

6:00 becomes six o'clock and now she doesn't know that.

6:02 She doesn't know the difference because she doesn't have clocks.

6:05 She doesn't use clocks,

6:06 she doesn't have a cell phone that tells her the time is different.

6:09 The time is the same to her every day.

6:11 So when daylight savings times comes, I feed her at six o'clock instead, right?

6:14 That used to work, but recently with this last time change,

6:18 she begs me right at five o'clock that she wants food.

6:21 And so then I'm like, who gave you a clock?

6:23 Cats don't know how to tell time.

6:24 How does she know that five o'clock is now six o'clock and so five o'clock,

6:28 which is what used to be four o'clock is when, what should feed her?

6:31 Because if I start feeding her at five, then when the time change is back,

6:34 I'm gonna have feed her at four and then

6:35 the following year I'm gonna have to feed her at three.

6:37 And then before you know it, I'm waking up at fucking sunrise to feed my cat.

6:42 Everyone in the world has the same air fryer.

6:44 When you see a video and they talk about air frying,

6:46 it's the one with like the handle that you pull out and the parchment paper.

6:50 I don't have that.

6:51 I have a toaster oven slash air fryer.

6:53 I'm just gonna use it anyway.

6:56 (bright music) Okay, it wasn't so bad, huh?

7:04 The more turd shaped the better.

7:06 I think those look pretty good.

7:07 Seems to be delicious.

7:09 Yeah, maybe I didn't do a great job mincing the garlic.

7:11 Maybe I got a little lazy about it.

7:14 These are gonna be interesting.

7:17 It looks crispy on the outside,

7:18 but there's no way it's cooked through on the inside.

7:21 Isn't it cool that instead of showing you what I can see,

7:23 I'm just describing it to you verbally,

7:25 exactly what the visual medium of YouTube is all about.

7:30 I'm curious if they're totally stuck to the bottom.

7:32 I don't see why they wouldn't be.

7:34 I made no attempt to make it not stick.

7:37 What did I expect?

7:38 What did I expect would happen?

7:40 This is so bad.

7:41 Where did I go wrong with such a perfect recipe?

7:44 How could this have happened?

7:44 In the meantime, we have one in the back that is burnt to a crisp.

7:49 The other ones don't look cooked at all

7:51 and that I probably burnt the shit out of.

7:54 I couldn't have timed this any worse.

7:56 I'm gonna put it in a bowl 'cause all my plates are in the dishwasher right now.

8:01 Holy fucking shit.

8:03 Oh, yikes.

8:05 This is not a chip at all.

8:07 This is just hot cottage cheese.

8:08 You know this one's kind of done.

8:10 There's one thing I know about cottage cheese pancakes.

8:12 It's that you don't want to overdo it.

8:14 We got these.

8:21 I didn't have to make this video.

8:23 The range of colors on here is so small

8:27 from light gray to like a slight brownish gray.

8:31 (soft music) I'm probably not gonna make these again.

8:42 You know what?

8:43 These are actually pretty good.

8:44 And it's not just because I'm so disgusted

8:46 by these that anything would've been better in comparison.

8:48 I think I made something tasty.

8:51 I guess it's because at at the end of the day,

8:53 no matter how bad of a job I do, it's still garlic and cheese.

8:57 It's kinda hard to make those taste bad.

8:58 I don't know if I would make it again

9:00 'cause I didn't really enjoy the process of making it.

9:02 But now that I have it made in front of me, I'm definitely gonna eat them.

9:05 I'm never doing this shit again in my life.

9:06 Each bite is like a slot machine of is it gonna be too mushy or too hard?

9:11 Probably gonna give that one like a D plus.

9:13 The chicken mozzarella stick thing, that was an A minus.

9:16 That tastes really good.

9:17 I just didn't like making it.

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10:08 (bright music) All right, now it's time for dessert.

10:14 (silly music) Very exciting day today,

10:18 or actually tomorrow will be the exciting day.

10:20 This is like a two day process and I'm starting it today,

10:23 but eventually it will be exciting.

10:25 I was getting Sony Instagram reels from this guy who makes these creamies,

10:28 I guess they're called.

10:30 I hate that word.

10:31 I hate using that word,

10:32 but I'm gonna have to say it so many times during this section.

10:35 But yeah, this guy's made like a thousand creams before and he's like

10:39 a cream expert and he wants everybody to taste the cream that he makes.

10:42 I got this machine and I paid for his recipe

10:45 book because I'm all about supporting independent creators.

10:48 And also it was the only way to get the recipes.

10:50 I also had to buy a bunch of random crap for this monk fruit sweetener,

10:55 cake batter extract, vanilla bean paste,

10:58 an entire 12 pack of prime bites protein brownies.

11:03 So I could use half of one of them.

11:05 Cocoa powder and also black cocoa powder.

11:09 He specifically specified to use both of them.

11:11 I don't know what the difference is.

11:14 I guess they listen to different kinds of music and of course

11:16 none of this would be possible without xanthin gum and nothing else.

11:21 Wow, I haven't done an unboxing in so many years.

11:24 I hope I remember how.

11:26 (upbeat funky music) We're gonna start with brownie batter blizzard.

11:35 Now comes the scary part.

11:37 The part that uses a motorized blade.

11:40 (blender buzzing) Pint number one complete.

11:53 Okay, maybe it looks a little bit less like

11:55 ice cream and more like a tall poop donut, but I don't hate it.

11:59 And now for the best part, the half of a brownie.

12:03 Okay, well that didn't go so well.

12:05 Oh yeah.

12:06 I don't even want to eat it.

12:07 I kind of just wanna look at it.

12:08 I need to enjoy this moment for as long as possible.

12:11 The moment where I think it's going to taste really good because

12:14 I know as soon as I take a bite I'm gonna be disappointed.

12:17 But in the meantime, I'm just excited that I did something correctly.

12:24 You know what?

12:25 I might just be saying this because this took literally 24

12:27 hours to make and I would be so disappointed if it sucked, but it doesn't suck.

12:31 And to think just one day ago,

12:33 this was a regular protein shake and also 12 other ingredients.

12:37 It's just really cold on my teeth is all.

12:39 I know it looks like I'm suffering.

12:40 It has nothing to do with the flavor.

12:42 It's merely the temperature.

12:44 One of the best cups of shit I've ever had.

12:45 Now to be clear, it very much does taste

12:48 like if you turned a protein bar into ice cream,

12:50 which is to say it's kind of good,

12:53 but not as good as the thing it's pretending to be.

12:55 I'm just excited about all the doors I've opened up with this machine.

12:59 All the different variations of cream that I can

13:02 make and you better believe I'm gonna make 'em all.

13:04 Raspberry cheesecake cake.

13:09 Well, I just made a horrifying discovery while editing this video.

13:13 I made three of these creamies a few days

13:15 ago and I've slowly been eating them one by one.

13:17 But this raspberry cheesecake one just did not turn out right.

13:22 I thought it looked pretty good,

13:24 but it was so thick and had literally no flavor.

13:29 It had the consistency of cream cheese,

13:32 but tasted like the container that cream cheese is sold in.

13:35 And my dumbass was like, huh, stupid recipe.

13:39 Must have been the cream master's fault.

13:42 Surely it wasn't anything I did wrong.

13:45 No, here's what happened.

13:46 I was supposed to put in one gram

13:48 of xanthin gum and 40 grams of artificial sweetener

13:53 and instead I put in one gram of Xanthin

13:57 gum and then another 40 grams of xanthin gum.

14:01 That was only 17.

14:03 Now if you don't know what that is,

14:04 'cause I didn't until about 10 days ago, it's basically like a binding agent.

14:08 You mix 'em into foods like this to make 'em thicker.

14:11 So when you pull it out of the freezer, it actually has the texture of ice

14:15 cream rather than just being liquid but colder.

14:18 And clearly a little bit goes a long way if you only need to use one gram.

14:23 I used 40 times as much as I was supposed

14:27 to and also didn't put any monk fruit powder in.

14:31 The whole time I'm eating it, I'm like, man,

14:33 this shit is thick as fuck and isn't sweet at all.

14:37 Yeah, I think I figured it out.

14:40 I think I cracked the case.

14:42 It is so embarrassing for me to watch back this footage

14:45 and see how confidently wrong I am throughout the entire process.

14:49 How at first I was like, oh yeah, now this looks like ice cream.

14:54 Okay, that is definitely a different texture than it was a second ago.

14:57 Cool.

14:58 Did this one wrong?

14:59 It's not supposed to look like that yet, you moron.

15:02 Also how optimistic I for some reason

15:05 was even after tasting it and being disgusted.

15:08 My guess I did too much milk.

15:09 Nope.

15:10 How confused I was when it took forever to clean afterwards.

15:14 I spent like five minutes scrubbing this.

15:16 Maybe it's just the cream cheese.

15:17 Nope.

15:18 This texture looks way better.

15:19 No, no!

15:20 Using an entire monk fruit for this.

15:22 You know how when you leave ice cream out for a little bit, it melts?

15:26 I left this sitting on the counter for six hours

15:30 and when I came back it looked exactly the same.

15:34 Whatever this is, it is not ice cream.

15:37 I think I accidentally created a substance never before seen by human.

15:42 This feels like the beginning of a sci-fi horror movie.

15:45 Like if I don't dispose of this properly,

15:48 it's going to come to life and kill me in my sleep.

15:51 (bright silly music) I know I'm like two years late to this trend,

15:56 but I knew I had to hop on the cucumber bandwagon.

15:58 You've probably seen this guy at some point.

16:01 Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber.

16:03 Who is almost surely an industry plant on behalf of Big Cucumber.

16:07 I took on one of his recipes and also another one I found,

16:10 which essentially has just turned into a bowl of beef.

16:13 These always look so good.

16:15 I totally understand the appeal of these.

16:18 Cucumber is such a blank slate of a food

16:20 that you can apply any flavor profile to it whatsoever.

16:23 And that's what these each are.

16:25 This one's more like a pickled onion beef thing.

16:27 I make my own pickled onions 'cause I like

16:29 putting 'em on sandwiches and in tacos and stuff.

16:32 And so I just kind of threw those in here.

16:33 As you could see by this B-roll footage.

16:36 Deceptively hard to shake these things up.

16:38 I spent a couple minutes trying to shake these things and even still,

16:41 all of the cucumbers were on the bottom.

16:44 That's why I had to take this out of the container and put it in a bowl.

16:47 And then this one, I don't know what I was expecting putting a glob of thick ass

16:51 cream cheese in here that it would just

16:53 like break apart and evenly disperse throughout the container.

16:56 No, it's all in one glob still.

16:58 Huh, there sure are a lot of cucumbers in here.

17:01 I saw a comment on this video that was like, it's pretty good,

17:03 but if you don't rock with cucumbers, it's probably not for you.

17:06 And someone was just like,

17:06 why the fuck would you make this recipe if you don't like cucumbers?

17:09 And now in hindsight, I am kind of like the first commenter

17:12 for something that required no cooking and it's

17:15 just throwing a few things in a cup and shaking it up for a couple minutes.

17:18 It's not that bad.

17:19 And now for this one, you know what this tastes like?

17:23 It tastes like if you filled a bowl with beef and cucumbers,

17:27 these are both fine.

17:28 It's a salad adjacent meal.

17:31 So your expectations have to be a little tempered.

17:33 But I have to say, I think I disagree with this guy's catchphrase.

17:36 Sometimes you need to eat two entire cucumbers.

17:38 I don't know if that's true.

17:39 The cucumber is my least favorite part.

17:41 I should have just made a bowl of beef, whatever.

17:43 Just proves what I've always believed,

17:44 which is that you should never trust a man who bleaches his hair.

17:48 [Content Creator] Did you know if you have blueberries,

17:49 you have tub of vanilla Greek yogurt,

17:50 chia seeds, mix in banana pudding mix, maple syrup, honey,

17:54 and stick in a bunch of vanilla wafers,

17:55 your favorite type of milk before fridging overnight,

17:58 You get this high fiber delicious chia seed pudding, banana pudding.

18:01 Honestly, I think this is too sweet.

18:03 I think I just didn't need the honey.

18:04 It's already pretty sweet from the yogurt and the blueberries.

18:06 Man, I think that's too sweet.

18:09 I wonder how I feel about this.

18:10 I don't think I needed to use as much banana pudding mix as I did.

18:14 The one in the video was like a slightly off white.

18:16 This is extremely yellow.

18:18 Almost looks like scrambled eggs.

18:20 That's pretty good though.

18:21 I love banana pudding.

18:22 Honestly, the best banana pudding I've ever had in my life, Bucky's,

18:27 I don't know what they put in there, but that shit was good.

18:29 I do think it's funny to act like 88 grams of protein

18:32 is like a lot for this when they're talking about the entire tub.

18:35 Depending on how many vanilla wafers you put in here,

18:37 could be like 1500 calories.

18:39 And it's unfortunate that the only way to get that number lower would be

18:42 to put less vanilla wafers in here when that's by far the best part.

18:45 Otherwise you're kind of just eating goop.

18:47 I just woke up about 20 minutes ago and I think it's

18:49 a little too early in the day to stomach this much cold mush.

18:53 This is one of those that looks really good on camera, right,

18:55 'cause the texture changes and you can run the spoon through

18:58 it and it looks so fluffy and it is pretty fluffy.

19:00 But then you eat it and it's just mushy.

19:02 B for this, C plus for this.

19:04 Time to start my day.

19:07 What the hell?

19:10 I just want to eat something normal.

19:12 I'm just kidding, man.

19:13 This is my favorite one so far.

19:15 The theme of today's recipes, I'm so glad you asked.

19:19 Balls and I'm not talking penis.

19:23 First off, a two ingredient air fried cheese ball,

19:27 which is what my friends call me behind my back.

19:29 And then this chickpea onion thing.

19:31 Just by looking at this, I already know that that red onion taste

19:34 is gonna be lingering in my mouth for three hours after I eat it.

19:38 But how can you not love this guy's voice?

19:41 [Content Creator] Along with a teaspoon of paprika powder.

19:43 I wish my voice sounded like that then maybe

19:45 my friends would stop calling me a cheese ball.

19:50 Hell yeah.

19:51 I love that.

19:52 I love when things do that.

19:55 Yep, I'll definitely be using the rest of this for something.

19:59 I could have used a bigger bowl.

20:01 Smells good, looks good.

20:02 But does it taste good?

20:03 I don't know.

20:04 I haven't eaten it yet.

20:06 Into the oven.

20:06 Now you would think with a two ingredient recipe,

20:09 I couldn't possibly mess it up, right?

20:11 How far could I stray from something so simple?

20:15 Well, one, I was not about to spend

20:17 45 minutes grading an entire block of Parmesan, so I bought a prepackaged kind.

20:22 And also it's not even just Parmesan, it includes two other cheese.

20:26 So if it turns out bad, we know who to blame.

20:30 Joe Biden actually.

20:32 Yet again, time for my favorite part of these videos

20:35 where I just stick my hand inside something.

20:37 You know, between me and Stranger Things,

20:39 there's never been a more lucrative time

20:41 for Foley artists who specialize in squelching noises.

20:44 My hands are going to smell like cheese for weeks.

20:48 If I went for a walk right now,

20:50 I would attract woodland creatures from near and far.

20:53 It's not really sticking very well.

20:55 If I had to guess it could have something to do

20:57 with the fact that I didn't grate this cheese myself.

20:59 Delicious, freeze for two hours.

21:02 They don't look quite as crispy as him.

21:03 It might be because I didn't dry them out enough.

21:06 You're supposed to drain and rinse them, but if you don't dry them enough,

21:08 then they're gonna like retain moisture and then they're not gonna be as crispy.

21:11 And maybe that's what I did wrong.

21:12 They taste great.

21:13 I feel like chickpeas are so underrated, man.

21:15 Yeah, these are delicious.

21:16 Every type of meat right now is three times as much as it was a few years ago.

21:21 But a can of chickpeas, which has a decent amount of protein and in the right

21:25 context can act as a protein in a meal like a dollar.

21:28 If you put this in a bowl,

21:29 some kind of fancy grain, some tzatziki, some sweet potatoes maybe.

21:34 I just don't have any other slop to put in it.

21:38 Cheese ball.

21:39 It's probably the worst lighting I've ever achieved in a video.

21:46 It tastes exactly the way you'd expect it to.

21:48 I should have just graded Parmesan.

21:50 It's too sharp.

21:51 I don't know if I can eat any more of these.

21:52 I mean obviously they look awesome, but when would I eat this?

21:55 You're just gonna make cheese balls for dinner.

21:57 Yeah, I gotta go eat a vegetable.

21:58 (bright silly music) Hey, let's make some more ice cream.

22:13 I have to say I'm a little concerned so

22:14 far as much as I genuinely love that first creamy,

22:17 the second one was more of a failed science experiment.

22:20 And the third one, I like mint chocolate chip ice cream.

22:23 That was always one of my favorites growing up.

22:26 But with peppermint extract,

22:27 there is such a fine line where once you cross that line,

22:32 it no longer tastes like a delicious sweet treat

22:34 and it kind of just tastes like you're eating toothpaste.

22:37 Unfortunately, that's where my minter Wonderland ended up.

22:40 And it was a bit of a chore to finish.

22:42 Since I've already messed this up a couple of times,

22:44 I'm gonna go with a recipe that seems absolutely foolproof.

22:47 Oreo McFlurry.

22:48 It's just milk and sweetener and Oreo thins.

22:51 How could I possibly mess that up?

22:53 Did you hear what I said about not messing this up?

22:57 Just wanna make sure you heard that.

23:00 Milk time.

23:01 This is the amount that I was supposed to put in last time.

23:05 Jesus Christ.

23:06 And not that this had as big of an effect on the final outcome,

23:08 but I also forgot to put a pinch of salt in the last time.

23:11 Crisis averted.

23:12 (blender buzzing) You know what else I like about his recipes?

23:16 He says to use Oreo thins with the cream removed 'cause it's fewer calories.

23:20 I love that the calories of the cream doesn't

23:21 count 'cause I'm not putting it into the ice cream.

23:23 It's so much healthier this way.

23:26 I think I've created the appropriate texture this time.

23:29 It doesn't already look like ice cream.

23:31 It's just a little bit foamy This shit is good as hell.

23:36 That's a relief future me.

23:37 Or if it's bad, I'll be like shit.

23:40 Now this next one I'm a little concerned about, did Dr.

23:45 Pepper float?

23:46 Now that sounds delicious to me.

23:47 That's not the part I'm scared about.

23:49 I'm worried because I don't think he wrote this in the way that he meant to.

23:53 Because typically with a float, you would take the ice cream and then he

23:58 kind of just pour the soda on top of it.

23:59 He's saying to put the Dr.

24:02 Pepper in and then blend it.

24:04 I just cannot imagine a world where a freshly carbonated beverage

24:09 inside this blender machine could end in anything other than disaster.

24:15 And that's exactly why I need to do this on camera.

24:18 If his typo causes me to explode, well, at least I filmed it.

24:26 Getting a little high there.

24:31 Honestly, that's kind of already good as is.

24:33 All right, well here goes nothing.

24:36 12 seconds later.

24:37 (blender buzzing) Who could have seen that coming?

24:49 Kind of the worst possible outcome because on one hand

24:52 it's annoying that I'm gonna have to now clean this up.

24:54 And on the other hand, it wasn't even that interesting to look at.

24:58 I kind of just made a mess for no reason.

25:00 Yeah.

25:03 Yeah, the bad news is I have to waste a bunch of paper towels.

25:06 But the good news is I discovered something delicious.

25:09 I'm gonna drink these every day forever.

25:12 Kind of an annoying chore I just chose to give myself.

25:15 But maybe it'll be worth it.

25:17 That's up to you Future Drew, what do you say?

25:19 It's fine.

25:20 All right, thanks buddy.

25:21 (bright silly music) Well, I think we've had a lot of fun here today,

25:25 whether we've been making shit or even crap, I've learned a lot.

25:30 I spent a lot of time scrolling through my bookmarks

25:32 to find the perfect recipe to end this video on.

25:36 And I realized that the best recipe is the one that feels authentic to me.

25:40 And then I found this, not only do I have an entire website devoted to hot dogs,

25:45 but I think I've made it pretty clear

25:46 that the only thing I feel comfortable cooking is meat bread.

25:49 This is perfect.

25:50 Is this meal healthy?

25:52 No.

25:53 Will it help me reach my fitness goals?

25:56 No.

25:57 But does it look like something I'll accidentally eat all love in one

25:59 sitting just to spend the next two hours complaining about my tummy ache?

26:03 Yeah, it does.

26:05 And of course, just like every recipe I've made so far,

26:08 I am swapping out one of the ingredients for different ones.

26:10 I went to two different stores looking for this prepackaged french

26:14 bread and I was not about to go to a third.

26:16 The only problem with using these crescent

26:18 rolls instead is that they come pre perforated.

26:21 But I feel like as long as I don't rip it, it'll still all be one sheet.

26:25 I don't know, man.

26:26 I'm making hot dog bread.

26:27 It doesn't have to be perfect.

26:28 I just forget how to open these.

26:30 Oh, oh, that's right.

26:31 That's how you do it.

26:32 This looks French enough to me.

26:33 I don't see any reason why this can't work just as well as the other bread,

26:38 except for all of the lines and holes in it.

26:43 Ah, don't make fun of me, okay.

26:44 You know, you'd be just as scared.

26:47 Okay, maybe besides the perforation,

26:50 the big difference between the two types of bread

26:53 is that this one is not nearly as thick.

26:55 But you know what's the fun in doing something correctly where most people would

27:00 look at this recipe and think

27:01 that the bread should mostly encapsulate the hot dog.

27:04 I say, what if instead the hot dog just sort of rested gently on top of it.

27:12 Gotta have the sesame seeds.

27:13 Gotta have salt.

27:14 Definitely not enough salt in the hot dogs already.

27:17 The question now is hot dogs long ways or hot dogs short ways.

27:22 Each with their own merits for sure.

27:26 We're doing it, guys.

27:28 We're creating bread.

27:28 This is what they ate in the Bible.

27:31 Yeah, I'm liking what I'm seeing.

27:33 Into the oven.

27:36 I'm not even saying this is a joke.

27:37 This is the best smelling food that I've made so far in this video.

27:41 I feel like I just walk into an Italian bakery.

27:47 Tell me that doesn't look good.

27:48 Tell me you wouldn't eat that.

27:50 And come on, like how unhealthy could it really be?

27:52 3200 calories plus the oil.

27:56 I don't know how many for the hot dogs

27:57 and I don't have ketchup and I don't have regular mustard.

28:00 But you know what?

28:01 I do have a bunch of random ass condiments.

28:03 Surely one of these will be good.

28:04 And now I've got a whole flight of hot dogs Between cooking,

28:07 cleaning, and shopping for gifts, the holidays are stressful enough.

28:11 So why don't you take one of those things off your to-do list.

28:14 Make hotdogs.

28:15 Trust me, your kids are gonna thank you.

28:17 We're gonna be like, whoa.

28:18 That is way better than the crap that dad usually makes eat.

28:21 He usually is cooking so bad.

28:22 I don't even have any respect for him.

28:24 All right, I hate that guy.

28:25 That guy's the worst.

28:26 Be like, okay, kids.

28:27 Funny joke.

28:28 And they're like, no, dad, we're dead serious.

28:30 Throw the stuff you usually feed us.

28:31 We have to pretend to eat us because if

28:33 we actually eat that, we'd be in the hospital.

28:35 But don't worry, dad,

28:36 now that you've made us hot dog for Christmas, we'll finally love you.

28:39 And that's what Christmas is all about.

28:43 Thanks for watching.

28:45 (bright Italian music)