an honest conversation about sounding like a native

0:00 Hey, what's up?

0:01 Stefanie the English coach here from englishfulltime.com.

0:04 In this video, I want to have an honest

0:07 conversation with you about wanting to sound like a native.

0:09 I want to share my perspective, my opinions,

0:12 what I've observed, what I've experienced over the years.

0:15 And in general, I just want to share some insights

0:18 that I think might help you along on your journey.

0:21 Now, to begin, I don't think that you have to sound like a native,

0:25 but I do think that trying to sound like a native

0:28 can be the very best thing you ever do for your English.

0:31 And I'm going to explain why in this video.

0:34 The first thing I want to say is that I don't

0:37 think there's anything wrong with wanting to sound like a native.

0:39 In fact, that's exactly what I wanted back when I was learning Spanish,

0:43 and it helped me so much.

0:45 Where I went wrong though is I wanted to pass

0:49 as a native and that played around with my confidence way too much.

0:53 And I made an entire video about that called

0:56 the dark side of wanting to sound like a native speaker.

0:58 I highly recommend that you watch it as soon as you finish this video.

1:02 Anyways, back when I was learning Spanish, I 100% wanted to sound like a native.

1:07 I wanted to master the sounds, the rhythm, the intonation, the linking.

1:11 I even wanted to use the vocabulary that native speakers use.

1:14 I wanted to use the sentence structures and patterns that native speakers use.

1:18 And I knew that native Spanish speakers

1:20 all over the world spoke Spanish differently.

1:22 I knew they had different accents.

1:24 I couldn't quite hear the differences back then.

1:27 Although I was learning to hear the differences,

1:29 I got a lot better at that later on.

1:32 But anyhow, I remember this one time in college

1:34 because I was studying Spanish at the university.

1:37 That was my major.

1:38 And I just remember this one time where our teacher who was from Spain

1:42 was telling us about all the different ways we could say apricot in Spanish.

1:45 And she was kind of sharing it like it was this fun, silly, cool little thing.

1:50 And she's like, "Yeah, in Spain we say alarik.

1:53 In Argentina they say damco.

1:55 In Mexico they say chavano." And she

1:57 just presented the information to us like, "Oh,

2:00 look how cool this is." And as the learner I was

2:03 so frustrated and so annoyed because I was like, "That's fantastic.

2:07 What am I supposed to say when I speak Spanish?

2:10 I have three options.

2:12 I don't know what to choose.

2:13 And that is I think when I started realizing, hey, I have to choose an accent.

2:18 I have to choose a way of speaking that I can follow.

2:22 So, I have something to model my Spanish off of.

2:25 I need patterns that I can follow because if not,

2:28 there are no patterns and it's going to be

2:31 very difficult for me to find my way of speaking.

2:34 Anyhow, choosing the accent was really easy

2:36 for me because my mom was from Argentina.

2:38 I didn't learn Spanish growing up,

2:40 so I was on a mission to master the language that I felt I was missing out on.

2:45 So, needless to say, I chose Argentinian Spanish.

2:47 And then when I went to Argentina, cuz I studied abroad there,

2:50 and I ended up meeting my husband and his family,

2:53 I basically chose their accent as my way

2:56 of speaking and they became my role models.

2:59 And being surrounded by one type of Spanish day

3:02 in and day out allowed me to finally absorb the patterns,

3:06 to notice the nuances, to notice the sounds,

3:09 and to imitate and copy what I heard exactly as I heard it.

3:13 Now, before you start thinking, "Oh my goodness,

3:16 Stephanie, I don't live in an English-speaking country.

3:18 There's no way I can do this." Hold your horses.

3:20 We have the internet.

3:22 You can absolutely choose an accent

3:24 and surround yourself with that accent using online

3:27 content so that you can allow your brain to absorb the patterns of that accent

3:33 and it will make it easier for you to start speaking English because

3:37 you will have the framework you need to build your own language skills upon.

3:41 Now, some people say, "Wait, but your accent is your identity.

3:45 You can't hide it.

3:46 You shouldn't try to hide it.

3:48 You shouldn't want to hide it.

3:49 Your accent is your identity.

3:50 that's who you are, that's where you're

3:52 from, those are your roots, etc., etc., etc.

3:54 And I say, if that's how you feel, you are absolutely entitled to feel that way.

3:59 But that is not how I feel or how I felt when I was learning Spanish.

4:04 I was not like, "Yeah, I'm American.

4:06 I want everyone to hear my American accent.

4:08 I want to speak Spanish with this really thick American accent.

4:12 I'm so proud of being American.

4:14 I'm so proud of my accent." And yeah, no way.

4:17 No, not at all.

4:19 I was like, "Uh, I don't like the way

4:22 Spanish sounds when we're speaking it with a really thick,

4:25 strong American accent." No.

4:27 Like, I want to learn the sounds of the actual language and I want

4:32 to modify my sounds and my rhythm and my intonation so that I can imitate it.

4:37 So, well, I kind of see it as like honoring the language that you're learning.

4:41 It's like you're trying to do the best job that you can do.

4:45 Now, that's my opinion.

4:46 That's how I feel about it.

4:48 And so, guess what?

4:49 I actually learned how to speak Spanish with a really good accent.

4:53 I'll demonstrate in just a second, but basically,

4:55 I believed it was possible and so I tried and so I achieved.

4:59 And what I want to say here is what you

5:03 believe is possible for your English will determine so much

5:07 of what you actually accomplish because you're definitely not going

5:10 to try to do something if you don't even think it's possible.

5:14 If you do think it's possible,

5:15 you're going to try and you might not pass as a native,

5:18 but I don't even think that should be the goal, right?

5:21 You might get really good at English.

5:23 You might love the way that you sound.

5:25 You might love your pronunciation.

5:26 You might get so clear people never misunderstand you.

5:29 There are so many good things on the other

5:32 side of wanting to sound like a native,

5:34 choosing an accent, choosing a role model, and trying.

5:37 So, for example, in Spanish, I know not everyone here speaks Spanish,

5:40 but you'll be able to hear what I'm talking about in these examples.

5:43 If I wanted to say it's for me, okay, it's for me in Spanish.

5:48 If I said it with a very strong American accent, I would say espara, espar.

5:53 Okay?

5:54 And I think that sounds awful.

5:56 I would never want to speak Spanish like that.

5:58 And sure, some people do speak Spanish like

6:00 that, but they probably don't speak very well.

6:02 They probably aren't very fluent.

6:04 They probably don't have very big vocabulary.

6:06 They're not very articulate.

6:08 I didn't want that level for myself.

6:10 So I went for something better.

6:14 What I think is better.

6:16 And I don't say espei.

6:19 Okay.

6:19 So much smoother, much more natural and easier.

6:23 It just rolls off the tongue so much better.

6:27 So actually if you learn the sounds of the language,

6:31 the way native speakers say the sounds,

6:33 your language skills will actually be more

6:36 fluent because native speakers are speaking quickly.

6:38 They're speaking naturally and fluently because

6:40 their mouths have already figured out, it's already inside the language, right?

6:44 How to get from one word to the next word the quickest way possible.

6:48 In English, for example, we use the flap a lot.

6:51 We are just flapping from one word into the next.

6:53 It's when the t at the end of a word

6:56 stops being the t sound and it just becomes a flap.

6:59 Like what if?

7:00 What if?

7:00 I'm not saying what if.

7:02 Okay, I'm saying what if.

7:04 What if?

7:04 What if?

7:05 Right?

7:05 We just flap from one word into the next.

7:08 It makes your speech so much more fluent.

7:10 You have to learn the flap if you want your English to be smoother,

7:14 more natural, more fluent, etc.

7:16 And this isn't just about sounds because if

7:18 you're trying to sound like a native speaker, you're going to care about the way

7:22 native speakers construct their sentences and their phrases.

7:24 You're going to care about their fixed phrases, their vocabulary,

7:27 and saying things in a way that native speakers talk.

7:31 And you'll stop translating directly from your language and you're

7:35 going to look for the most natural way to say something.

7:38 So, for example, in Spanish to say, "I had a good time." I had a good time.

7:43 A lot of native English speakers would say, Right?

7:47 And that's not what native Spanish speakers say.

7:53 They say, "So, you have to take the time to get that familiar with the language,

7:58 with the culture, with the way that it's

8:01 used around the world." Let's do another example.

8:04 I can't wait to see you.

8:05 Right?

8:05 If I was just using an American accent to speak Spanish, I would say noto esper.

8:10 Okay, that's a terrible accent.

8:13 And that's not even how native Spanish speakers would communicate that idea.

8:21 They would say and maybe they would say,

8:26 but definitely not or I could even say it with a nice accent.

8:35 Right?

8:36 It's like, okay, the accent is fine,

8:39 but I'm basically speaking English in Spanish.

8:42 Now, if that's what you have to do to get your point across,

8:45 absolutely go for it.

8:46 That is a tool in your toolbox, and even I use it sometimes to this day.

8:51 But what I think is even better than that is

8:54 just learning how the language is used around the world.

8:57 Learning the phrases and the sentence constructions

8:59 that people are already using every single day.

9:02 Because once you get those patterns locked in your mind,

9:04 it's like boom, boom, boom.

9:06 You just move from one pattern to the next when you're expressing your ideas.

9:09 And it's actually so much easier to talk because you're just grabbing phrases,

9:13 one phrase at a time, and then linking them together to communicate your ideas.

9:18 And then once in a while, sure,

9:20 you're going to say something that's expressive and all your own,

9:23 like something you've never heard anyone else say before.

9:25 But language is just a bunch of patterns at the end of the day.

9:29 At least that is what I have noticed.

9:31 Now, the other thing about wanting to sound

9:33 like a native speaker is you end up training your voice so much that you have so

9:38 much control and you can choose how you sound.

9:41 And I don't know about you,

9:43 but I want to be able to choose how I sound in a language.

9:46 I don't just want to be stuck with bad habits that I have by default.

9:50 So, in learning how to master one accent,

9:53 I actually learned a little bit about various different types of accents.

9:57 And sometimes I play around with accents when I speak Spanish.

10:00 I also do this when I speak English for comedic effect.

10:03 Sometimes I'll throw in uh a word in Australian English

10:06 or an accent that sounds a little bit more British.

10:09 It's really fun and it actually makes you sound more expressive.

10:14 So for example, a phrase in Spanish that I could say is right.

10:19 But I could also change the way that that sounds and I could say, right?

10:26 It's very subtle, but I hear the difference.

10:28 And Spanish speakers will hear the difference.

10:30 And if I'm around someone who speaks with a certain type of accent,

10:33 I can grab onto that accent.

10:35 I can use it.

10:36 I can play around with it.

10:37 I can imitate it.

10:38 It's so much fun.

10:39 And I think that is part of the beauty of learning

10:42 a language and just playing around with your voice and having fun.

10:45 And it's not mocking another person

10:47 to play around with accents from different places.

10:50 It's just fun.

10:51 You have permission.

10:51 It's fine.

10:52 Okay.

10:52 Believe it or not, we're just getting started.

10:54 I have so much more that I want to say about this.

10:57 I hope you're hanging in here with me.

10:58 Basically, I think everyone is entitled to sound

11:01 how they want to sound and it's your choice.

11:04 If you want to sound like a native,

11:06 if you want to practice native like English speakaking patterns,

11:09 absolutely go for it.

11:10 If you believe that your accent is your identity and you really want

11:14 to hold on to it and you don't want to sound like a native

11:17 speaker and there are certain sounds in your accent that you want

11:20 to hold on to like that French R for example or a Spanish R,

11:23 you're more than welcome to do it.

11:25 All you have to evaluate is do people understand you?

11:28 Is it interfering with your clarity?

11:29 Because if it is, you might want to change it.

11:31 If you don't care about that or if you don't

11:33 need to care about that, then that's up to you.

11:35 At the end of the day, each person should be able to do what they want.

11:39 And I also think that wanting to change

11:42 your accent does not mean you're rejecting your identity.

11:44 It's like I went after a very specific type of accent in Spanish.

11:48 I achieved that.

11:49 I didn't reject my identity in any way.

11:52 I just don't make where I'm from part of my identity.

11:57 My identity is built on other things.

11:59 It's built on my character.

12:00 It's built on my work.

12:02 It's built on my values.

12:04 It's not about, oh, I'm American and my entire

12:07 identity is based on where I'm from.

12:10 Like, I don't really care where I'm from.

12:12 It's just like that was chance.

12:14 I happened to be born in California.

12:16 I had nothing to do with it.

12:18 So, I put my identity in other things.

12:21 But at the same time, if you're super proud of your roots and where you're

12:25 from, I don't want to take that away from you, and I don't think anybody should.

12:28 I think there's room for all of it.

12:30 Do you see what I mean?

12:32 Do you see what I'm getting at?

12:34 Like there's room for all of us at the same table.

12:37 We all have different desires.

12:38 We all have different backgrounds and we all want

12:40 different things and we shouldn't be shamed for wanting what

12:43 we want because sometimes you want to sound like

12:46 a native speaker and then you get shamed for it.

12:48 Like oo why are you trying to sound like a native speaker?

12:50 You sound fake.

12:51 You're trying too hard, right?

12:52 And people pull you back or they bring you down

12:54 and sometimes it's your own peers and that's not cool.

12:58 You have to figure out what is going to serve you in life

13:03 and what is going to make you happy and go after that.

13:06 If you need a certain type of English to be successful in your work environment,

13:10 then go get that type of English.

13:12 Go make it happen.

13:13 Go train your voice.

13:14 Actors train their voices all the time.

13:16 They learn different accents.

13:17 Singers learn different singing styles.

13:19 You can sing with a jazz style.

13:21 You can sing opera, pop.

13:22 All right?

13:23 Your voice is an incredible instrument.

13:25 It is a bunch of muscles and you can train these muscles.

13:29 It's like when you go to the gym and you go there for the first time,

13:32 you have terrible form and your muscles are weak.

13:34 What do you expect?

13:36 But show up every single day and a few

13:38 days later you are going to have a rocking body.

13:41 All right?

13:41 That is just how it works.

13:43 Same thing with language practice.

13:44 You can have the accent you have by default, okay?

13:47 Or you can train it and you can make it into something else.

13:51 It's up to you.

13:52 Anyhow, part of the reason why I'm making this video is

13:55 because I received a DM recently on Instagram from a guy,

13:58 and this is what he said.

13:59 He said, "I have very bad pronunciation with a strong Italian accent.

14:04 I also speak much worse compared to how I understand written English.

14:09 I have never really exercised pronunciation specifically.

14:12 I only tried a bit while trying to take the certification."

14:15 Not sure what certification he's talking about, but then he says,

14:19 "I have been told that accent is something you

14:21 can hardly master and you can't hide." So basically, he felt like, "Why try?

14:26 Why even try?" And yet at the same time,

14:29 he's clearly not satisfied with how he sounds in English and how he speaks.

14:33 And it's just crazy to me that these ideas are spreading like,

14:37 "Oh, you can't change how you sound." Yes, you can.

14:40 You can absolutely change how you sound.

14:42 I did it.

14:43 I am a living example.

14:44 And there are so many people out here in this world.

14:47 I mean, even polyglotss who learn how to sound

14:49 like a native speaker in multiple different languages.

14:51 Come on.

14:52 Like, yeah, we can change how we sound.

14:54 But the thing is, if you don't believe it's possible,

14:57 you're not even going to try.

14:58 If you don't try, you're not going to achieve anything.

15:01 Do you see how it's all connected?

15:03 So, your beliefs around this are really important.

15:05 And you can choose again what you believe.

15:08 You can maintain your sense of identity

15:10 in your native language and where you're from.

15:12 and you can retain a bit of your accent and you

15:15 can also be clear in English and natural and fluent.

15:18 A good example of this is Sophia Vagaraa.

15:20 She is well known in the English- speakaking world and she

15:24 has a very strong Colombian accent and she likes it.

15:26 And if you look back into her earlier career,

15:29 she was actually working really hard to get

15:31 rid of her accent and sound more American.

15:33 And if you listen to interviews from her from a long time ago,

15:36 she definitely sounds more American.

15:37 And then she decided, heck with this, I don't want to do this.

15:42 and she reverted back to her stronger,

15:45 more Colombian accent and she's happy and she's successful.

15:49 However, Eliza Gonzalez did something completely different.

15:52 She is a Mexican actress who also acts in English

15:55 and she totally sounds American when she speaks, right?

15:58 She worked for that.

15:59 She wanted that and that is how she likes speaking.

16:02 Do you see what I mean?

16:03 Like we get to choose.

16:05 We get to choose and we get to do what we want.

16:08 And we don't have to listen to what other people say we should or should not do.

16:12 This is about you.

16:13 This is about what you want.

16:15 This is about your voice.

16:16 It's about liking your voice.

16:18 And it's about, you know, just being happy with how you sound in English.

16:22 Okay.

16:23 So, to wrap up this video, a couple more things.

16:26 Instead of asking, "Will I ever pass as a native?" Start asking yourself,

16:30 "What would happen if I actually tried?

16:32 How good would I get if I actually tried?

16:35 I don't think you have to pass.

16:36 I don't think you even have to want to pass.

16:39 That was my big mistake.

16:41 But passing and wanting to pass was not necessarily the problem.

16:45 It's how I felt when I didn't achieve that that was the problem.

16:49 Because wanting to pass as a native,

16:51 if you don't have any like psychological complexes the way I did,

16:54 it could actually be a great goal because it causes you to work harder,

16:58 to try harder, right?

16:59 Okay, that's it.

17:00 I hope I explained myself well.

17:01 Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

17:04 And if you want to learn pronunciation with me,

17:07 if you want to work on your accent,

17:09 if you want to really get confident in your voice as an English speaker,

17:13 then I want to invite you to join my English life

17:16 community because this is exactly what we work on every single day.

17:20 I put all of the best training that I've ever made into this one place.

17:24 So, check the link in the description and come join us.

17:27 And also, I am going to leave the link

17:29 in the description to my 7-day fluent pronunciation challenge.

17:32 This challenge is phenomenal.

17:34 It is a 7-day challenge.

17:36 It has over 7 hours of pronunciation training that you're going to get

17:40 access to and I think you're going to love it and it's completely free.

17:45 So, that's it and I will see you in the next video.

17:49 Sorry, dog is chasing a squirrel out there.

17:52 Okay.

17:52 [laughter] Oh, it's so distracting.