(SPF 1000) Vampire Sunscreen Season 2 with Shakey Graves

0:14 Let me gather my bearings.

0:16 But yeah, we made it appropriately dark in the music library.

0:20 This is like your cave.

0:21 Yeah, kind of kind of like my house.

0:25 Nice.

0:25 Um, so what I'm going to ask you to do first,

0:28 and this is what we do with every guest, um,

0:31 I would like for you to introduce yourself and tell people what it is you do.

0:38 It's a good question.

0:39 Uh, my name is Alejandro Rose Garcia and I am a uh,

0:44 musician and um, yeah, art artistic tinkerer.

0:50 I like that.

0:51 Artistic tinkerer.

0:52 Yeah, I guess because it's true.

0:55 It seems right.

0:55 Yeah.

0:57 Yeah.

0:56 But I play Yeah, I play music for a living.

1:00 We love this music, sir.

1:04 Thanks.

1:04 Um, this has been on my mind for a while now because it's

1:09 an unusual interview situation from an idea that I got a long time ago.

1:14 Uh, if you've ever seen anything maybe that I've thrown on Instagram,

1:19 it was a podcast idea that I don't know,

1:23 I I technically started before the pandemic and then that happened

1:30 and I was just doing random episodes left and right

1:35 and I'd have to wait to produce them and I

1:37 did it all by myself and now here we are.

1:41 Nice.

1:41 So, now that I have you here in the studios,

1:45 I am going to pose that one question.

1:48 There's only one question that I ask all of my guests.

1:52 So, Alejandro, um, you laugh now.

1:58 You You say my name much better than I do.

2:01 That's okay.

2:03 You know what?

2:03 We're not We're not going to be nitpicking that.

2:05 But now, now that we have you here, I can ask you the all-encompassing question.

2:10 What is the darkness to you?

2:13 What is dark to you?

2:15 The darkness, right?

2:17 It's the necessary uh you know counterpart to I guess the light.

2:23 You know, for me, I think darkness is a very important um aspect to uh

2:32 I guess this all the stuff that I make is very darknessbased um a little bit.

2:39 I think that it's there's sort of a thing even

2:45 just in my own memory and and the way that I

2:47 look at the world is that I'm a generally very

2:50 positive person or at least I perceive myself as that.

2:53 But to be positive, I have to really kind of dwell um or accept

2:59 and embrace uh a lot of the things that are aren't very positive,

3:04 you know, and I think that that is kind of, you know, the the darkness.

3:10 It's an important thing to be able to balance.

3:14 Like if some the big red flags to me

3:18 is are is someone who has no darkness whatsoever.

3:22 If someone is just like it's great, everything's great.

3:25 You're like you're a serial killer probably.

3:29 And you know, um I think that yeah, dark doesn't mean bad or anything like that.

3:36 It's just the you know, it's part of the cycle.

3:38 It's 50% of it is the darkness.

3:42 Two things that that Well, first of all, starting with what I noticed early on.

3:47 Yeah, there's definitely a dark element to the way you write,

3:52 to the way you've presented your work, your music, your material, your artistry.

4:01 Um, I have my t-shirt with a skull.

4:05 You know, I'm skull obsessed.

4:06 That's good.

4:07 Yeah.

4:08 It's it's a it's Latin heritage I feel like a little bit

4:12 I feel that I mean it has to be I've often tried

4:15 to get an explanation for that like what is my deal why

4:19 do I like that it kind of has a a wrong impression

4:24 that might be given out to family or friends but you know

4:28 no I mean I think that there really is

4:30 something to that you know I wasn't raised you know

4:33 I was raised here in Austin and I I you

4:36 know that comes with with a certain amount of whitewashing,

4:39 you know, just from even when my mom my mom's family, you know,

4:45 they grew up in the kind of no dogs, no Mexicans era.

4:50 Yeah.

4:49 And uh so when she came to UT, she didn't she

4:52 her Spanish turned into Spanglish very quickly and then

4:56 I didn't grow up speaking it in the house.

4:58 But my mom and is still, you know,

5:01 she's a playwright and artist and all of her stuff is dead people and, you know,

5:07 and like skulls and, you know, she she can't get away from that stuff either.

5:13 And I think that there's just a part of it that um that yeah,

5:18 it seems to come from the the Hispanic side of the world to me.

5:23 My dad's not so obsessed with skulls, but he's getting there.

5:26 He's figuring it out.

5:30 Good job, Dad.

5:31 Yeah, he'll he'll he'll come around to skeletons.

5:34 It's It's just I don't know.

5:36 Artistically, they've appealed to me.

5:39 Um we've all got them.

5:40 We've all got them.

5:41 We've all got What's the big deal?

5:43 It's It's okay.

5:47 Yeah.

5:45 Um we we all share that.

5:48 Um but it's just the morbidity, I think,

5:51 that some people can't deal with or function with, which could be detrimental.

5:55 I think Americans in general don't really face death very well at all.

6:01 Yeah, if they do.

6:03 Yeah, I think so.

6:04 I think that that's really fair.

6:06 It's and it's understandable.

6:07 I think it's a terrifying thing, but yeah,

6:10 we definitely like h are into hiding our dead.

6:13 You know, we're like making sure they seem as undead as pos.

6:17 You know, the the burial process and funeral stuff is pretty wild.

6:23 And I think the whole out of sight,

6:24 out of mind thing is is kind of flush with our society right now, you know?

6:30 It's like, oh yeah,

6:31 I think we're we're really good at being like, boy, it's bad,

6:36 but let's just we don't have to like totally we can talk about a little bit,

6:42 but we'll we'll move on, you know?

6:44 Yeah.

6:45 And uh yeah, we'll see how how how much

6:48 water that carries at at the end of the day.

6:50 But there's, you know, I I I guess with all that stuff,

6:55 there's also like just actual barrel stuff.

6:58 Like I've I've gone to my my friend's father passed away

7:02 and it was I don't know five years ago or something like that.

7:07 But they had a green burial like out in Bassrop and it's like

7:13 it's a or in between here and Bastrop and it was like

7:15 a spot where basically they just like give you the body, you know,

7:21 like you can just sign off and it was

7:23 like somebody just like drove up in a hatchback

7:25 with his dad in the back of it and they were like here you go, you know,

7:29 and the my friends like dug the hole and you get to spend as much time

7:34 with like his dad as possible and it was

7:36 a whole experience where for and of course it

7:40 came with all sorts of like real dark comedy like when they drove his dad up

7:44 that the guy who brought him locked his keys in the car with his dad in the car

7:49 and all of us were like it was so funny and horrible all at the same

7:54 time that you just like we couldn't even

7:55 really laugh but it was just like this is

7:57 so funny and they had to call a tow truck guy and they were like so we

8:02 need you to break in to the the his dad's in the back and he was like,

8:07 "Excuse me." We're just like, "Just open the open the hatchback.

8:10 Like, don't worry about it.

8:11 This is not we're not doing something weird here." Even though it is weird.

8:15 He won't sit up and start chewing you out either, right?

8:18 But it it felt, you know, I think that was the thing is that the burial itself,

8:21 we got to spend as much time as we wanted

8:23 and then we put dirt on him and then he

8:25 was in the ground and it's like you really saw

8:28 all the steps of it and there was at least,

8:31 you know, there was a part as a as a viewer

8:34 and and person who experienced that that it felt final.

8:37 like my brain understood that he his life as I knew

8:41 it was over and he went into the ground and then

8:43 the ground covered him and then he's going to like you

8:46 know they sprinkled like wild flower seed you know seeds and stuff.

8:49 It was really cool but in the times that I've gone to other funerals where they

8:53 basically just like shut a magical box

8:56 and then they kind of disappear into a slot.

8:59 You're just like what what is happening you know like where is this person gone?

9:04 Yeah.

9:04 And uh yeah, it's cleaner in one way,

9:07 but it it's definitely more psychologically uh strange to me.

9:12 So, well, psychologically strange in that we've been it it's so ingrained in us

9:18 now to think of it a certain way that it has to be XYZ.

9:22 Here is a person in the box, the magical box.

9:25 And you know, once that's closed, right,

9:27 then you're supposed to put that out of your mind, right?

9:30 And that's that's dark in a certain way, too.

9:33 That's bad dark.

9:34 I guess there's bad dark and good dark, too.

9:36 It's extremely dark.

9:37 And I think that's personally done damage to me in my life.

9:45 Yeah.

9:44 Where um I think as I got older, things have gotten considerably better.

9:50 But I did not deal with death very well.

9:52 No.

9:52 Because we weren't really told about it.

9:55 Not really.

9:55 Growing up, I just knew that it happened.

9:58 Um so and so is in heaven now.

10:02 Okay, time to move on.

10:04 Yeah, we'll I mean we'll get we'll get there.

10:05 You'll get to that.

10:06 You figure you have your whole life

10:08 to figure out what that what what that means.

10:10 Yeah, you just go on.

10:11 Yeah, that's I mean I feel like that stuff accumulates, you know.

10:14 That's kind of the like the question marks the the just

10:19 unresolved stuff in general just kind of really stacks up, you know?

10:22 And I think that that

10:24 that ends up leaking out into other parts

10:26 of everyone's life in kind of weird unexplainable ways.

10:31 or or very visible, you know, like intense ways.

10:36 It's just it's an intense experience.

10:41 I have vivid memories in my mind right now.

10:42 I'm like, wow, it's interesting this conversation bringing these memories up.

10:47 Yeah.

10:47 But um again going back to to your work to your music

10:54 I think I saw a bit of that a long

10:57 time ago and now I make jokes about oh well is

11:01 that why I think the music I thought the music was so

11:04 great I was like hey I I really wonder um I

11:10 have so many questions and they just flooded immediately to the front

11:13 of my brain and now I'm trying to sort It's it's

11:20 interesting how you were saying there are positive things and negative things

11:24 and oftentimes in talking about anything that's dark I'm wondering what

11:30 is positive for some which would be negative to another person

11:34 right I mean I guess that's why I I try in one way I'm trying

11:39 not to say like good or bad because it's like I don't think that that's

11:44 you know it it's sort So like I guess positive and negative is

11:47 more like it's like a force that pulls in one way or another.

11:50 And I think that we we all have different

11:54 meanings of what could be positive or negative, I guess.

11:58 Yeah.

11:58 But um yeah, I it in looking at the the music that I've made,

12:06 a lot of it is is not really like I don't really answer a lot of questions,

12:11 but I like pose a lot of questions in the songs that I write.

12:15 Like I set up a lot of scenarios um or just express, you know,

12:22 things about life that that I that I also don't feel like I have an answer for.

12:27 And I don't really do that on purpose, but it's like, you know,

12:32 I think that that's what drives when I when I try

12:34 and make stuff that I feel connected with and authentic and like,

12:39 you know, when when all the boxes are checked,

12:41 it usually has an aspect of that that like it scratches an itch

12:44 of something that I'm trying to like something I can't figure out

12:47 and I'm trying to describe and then that matches up with some

12:51 sort of melodic thing and the whole thing kind of secretly is like,

13:00 "What the[ __] is going on?" Like that's those are all my favorite songs.

13:05 Like what the[ __] And people are like, "Yeah,

13:08 what the fuck?" And I'm like, "I don't I don't I don't know." You know,

13:10 I don't I don't have the follow-up song that's like here's the you know,

13:13 I don't I don't I haven't written the here's the answer song.

13:18 Um

13:17 but you wouldn't you wouldn't really want the answers all the time.

13:21 I think that would make sense.

13:22 Are there songs like that?

13:23 Is that Yes.

13:24 Like religious music?

13:25 Well, mostly people who think they have an answer

13:29 and in reality it only brings more questions to me,

13:35 right?

13:34 But I I think I wouldn't want to know all of the answers.

13:37 That would be maddening.

13:38 No, that I mean that's kind of the whole prem,

13:40 you know, the project or Shaky Graves itself.

13:42 It's like the whole idea is that's kind of what the what

13:47 it started as was me not really knowing stuff and dealing with like

13:50 coming out of because I went through a crazy like you know mental

13:55 health crisis when I was young in my 20s or early early 20s.

14:02 Okay.

14:01 And like I had a great time because I was I was a was nutso.

14:06 I was having a good time.

14:07 But it was it I had like a psychotic break at one point.

14:12 did the whole like I was living in California and went

14:14 crazy and like ran around the streets for three I was like

14:17 one of the people that you're like I wonder who that person's

14:20 talking to and um and it was pretty scary for everybody

14:25 involved in my in my life and I was on cloud

14:28 nine I had a great time um but that that that's

14:33 like the only time that I had ever experienced really kind

14:36 of reality which I've always believed is very malleable you you know,

14:41 I'm like I'm like what if life is really not what you you know,

14:44 it's like outer limits of the TV show for me

14:47 like perhaps there like ancient alien style, you know,

14:50 but it had never I'd never experienced something

14:52 really shifting like that and then I did

14:54 and it like totally blew my mind and um even still looking back on it and being,

15:00 you know, right now being able to say like

15:03 I was I was crazy or anything like that.

15:06 and and I mean that in a in a sort of sweet way,

15:09 but it really I don't know what that really was.

15:13 Um, and it's not so simple, you know, as being just quote unquote going crazy.

15:20 Um, cuz the it it's like like we're talking

15:23 about reality is kind of an agreed upon thing.

15:25 like what I think is dark or positive or negative could not,

15:30 you know, agree with you at all or what we think an, you know,

15:34 somebody has a viable answer for something and we're like that's

15:37 that is that does not answer anything for me, you know.

15:41 Yeah.

15:41 Um, that's what turned into me actually, you know,

15:45 creating music that in a totally different way than I did before where

15:50 the first early songs I was writing were like I was like I should write

15:55 about a girl and a car and this one's called Girl Car or whatever

16:00 and like that was like you know I you're trying I'm trying to build

16:04 little stories and stuff and then I

16:05 started I experienced something that was just

16:08 like un um explain able to me and that was kind of what what

16:14 I think became so important was expressing

16:17 that and asking that question really to myself

16:21 and so now it's like now I'm I'm you know wearing socks and have

16:28 a kid and stuff and so the questions that I am posing are

16:33 like now I'm trying to figure out what that is for the next stage

16:36 of of me being you know calling myself an artist or making things because

16:42 I want to or I don't feel I'm not so like I'm not as um

16:48 existentially like hungry right now you know in that in after that time I

16:56 was like what is stuff and like you know who like just like going

17:00 out at night like who am I you know and uh and that that identity

17:07 for me has kind of shifted where I'm like Adam I don't down.

17:10 I'm like, I don't know, you know,[ __] it.

17:13 You know, I'm a little more like I'll find I'm I'm much closer

17:16 to finding out in general at this point than than I was then.

17:21 And um so yeah, the the the question, you know,

17:27 that that I'm posing now in my life is really different than it used to be.

17:31 And the the good and dark stuff applies or good and bad,

17:36 I guess, in general really is starting to apply to me less.

17:38 And it's more like applying to the people around

17:42 me a lot more like my kid and my wife,

17:44 but really just people around I'm I'm kind of more concerned with people

17:49 around me where as I used to be really concerned with myself a lot.

17:53 It's amazing how that happens.

17:56 Yeah.

17:56 To me, it felt like the earth shifting when I started, you know,

18:02 because I uh I tell people I'm a late bloomer in everything.

18:06 And that's fine.

18:07 It's great.

18:11 Um, but it was troubling at first and it was extremely painful.

18:15 I do not like my 20s at all.

18:20 It was It was I mean, bless my friends for staying with me.

18:25 Right.

18:25 That's all I'm going to say.

18:26 Yeah.

18:26 But you you know, you can't cut any of these parts out.

18:29 That's the nice part is that even you not preferring it, it's like,

18:32 well, we're still here now.

18:33 So,

18:34 to to reach,

18:34 we got to love that.

18:35 Yeah.

18:36 You have to embrace that.

18:37 You have to embrace all of it.

18:39 Yeah.

18:39 Uh because for a while I was rejecting it and hiding that and shame.

18:42 A lot of shame.

18:44 Did it just feel was it like a com a comfort thing?

18:47 Like a comfort.

18:47 You just didn't feel comfortable in your 20s.

18:51 What do you mean you didn't like it?

18:53 It was extreme self-loathing.

18:55 Mhm.

18:56 Like extreme in that I don't know if I necessarily acted out everything,

19:02 but when you continue to bottle things inside,

19:06 it's deadly and uh and explosive when it decides I'm going

19:12 to burst out right now in a way that you were not expecting.

19:17 Sure.

19:17 Which was loads of fun.

19:18 Um where were you in your 20?

19:20 Like where did you live?

19:21 I am originally from El Paso.

19:23 Oh, nice.

19:24 And uh I uh it was um again I'm I'm grateful for for things

19:36 that a I know a lot of people didn't grow up with.

19:39 You know, I did not come from a home that wasn't stable.

19:44 Um everyone has their situations.

19:47 Obviously, we we are all not perfect, but my parents were present.

19:51 They were there.

19:52 That's good.

19:53 Um the thing is I was not

19:58 it was something

20:01 and um there was a lot of growing up

20:04 that had to happen because I think I was really behind

20:06 a lot of well I mean why do I say that like I kept saying I am so behind because

20:12 I didn't appreciate the the youthfulness and the curiosity

20:16 that I had when so many of my other friends were

20:18 like we need to grow up and get jobs and get

20:21 families And I didn't really that didn't compute with me

20:26 right

20:26 at all.

20:27 Uh maybe maybe job stuff cuz I wanted money to buy

20:31 I don't know music.

20:34 Sure.

20:34 But now, I mean, that seems like a much more modern approach to stuff, you know.

20:39 Now, people like,

20:41 "Don't don't ever get a job, brother." You know, like,

20:44 "Oh, yeah."

20:45 You know, but I again, that's I think there's a lot of people that

20:50 suffer themselves pretty, you know,

20:52 really hard on themselves for not matching up with the people around them,

20:56 you know, at any given point.

20:57 You know, I'm sure people have a whole weird new

21:00 form of anxiety about not being artistic enough or something now.

21:06 Yes.

21:06 That's like I don't I didn't make any I didn't make any videos today.

21:10 Yeah.

21:12 Which Yeah.

21:12 I I feel like that sometimes, I guess,

21:13 because I'm supposed to be doing I'm supposed to be promoting myself constantly.

21:18 So,

21:18 but that that's that's a horrible thing.

21:21 It's weird.

21:22 It's weird.

21:22 It doesn't make sense.

21:24 And you go into a panic sometimes like, "Oh no,

21:27 I should have promoted all of these things and I just didn't." And oh,

21:31 and then that that obsession I have with I'm so behind.

21:36 Yeah.

21:36 No, you're not you're not behind on anything really.

21:39 Well, yeah.

21:39 It was like I got, you know,

21:40 I had that my wheel blew out on Mopac or whatever yesterday,

21:44 which was it was all a fine experience, but even during it,

21:47 I was like, am I supposed to be filming myself?

21:49 I was in like a life-threatening area of the highway.

21:53 Oh my god.

21:53 And I was like, "Am I supposed to be filming this in segments

21:57 so that I can show people later?" And I was like,

22:00 at some point I like kind of brought my phone up and started to do this.

22:03 And I was like, "Homie, chill out." Like there was like a cop like, you know,

22:08 in a safety vest and I was like, you know, like should I be filming the cop?

22:13 Whatever.

22:15 It was just a very funny thing to cross my mind.

22:16 Instead, I chose to to not film my own potential death or, you know,

22:20 whatever because I was like,

22:21 if I get if I get slammed at 80 miles an hour while I'm taking a selfie,

22:28 it's going to be a non-glorious way to go out.

22:30 So, I just I just decided to be present with it, I guess.

22:34 And then I immediately as soon as my day was derailed that I was like

22:39 because I had planned yesterday I was going

22:41 to go reconnect with my art, you know,

22:43 I was going to go make music and stuff and it was just

22:46 like boom got[ __] And so I my car got taken to, you know,

22:51 an auto auto spot and they were like it'll be three

22:54 hours and I just immediately went and saw Final Destination six.

22:58 I was like I'm going to see Final Destination and eat hot wings.

23:02 So

23:03 yeah, bye.

23:04 What else can you do?

23:05 And that's what the whole movie is about.

23:06 It's about trusting, you know, being you got to you got to follow the signs,

23:09 otherwise death is going to drop a log on you.

23:13 That's pretty much it.

23:14 I appreciating the now.

23:18 Yeah.

23:18 I'm actually not the person who uh records everything like that.

23:22 I can't.

23:23 Um and I'm kind of obsessed with privacy.

23:26 Yeah.

23:27 which is I guess in my circumstances uh it's not entirely gone but these moments

23:36 that I used to have to myself I can't really go anywhere now

23:40 without a a lovely person coming up to say hello

23:45 or buy me a beer

23:47 or th those are great the the the then there are the rougher experiences right

23:56 um I think the urge to like share with people is the thing, you know,

23:59 deep down that's like it's kind it's not a it's

24:02 not an inherently like nefarious thing to want to share

24:06 no these all these moments with other people, you know,

24:10 but it does the process of having to become self-aware

24:14 of to capture them sometimes really like destroys the magic of them too.

24:19 So, it's tough.

24:19 It's like a double, you know, I I like to keep track of stuff.

24:25 You know, I take photos and and record video of people and, you know,

24:29 it's like I can I have been responsible for sucking the magic

24:33 out of a situation by pointing a lens at it many times.

24:37 And it's a it's incredible how that is like a weird art form in its

24:41 own too to like carry a camera around and try and capture magical moments,

24:47 but like people who are really good at it,

24:49 you don't even notice that they have

24:50 a camera because it's it becomes part of them.

24:52 And so yeah,

24:53 it's wild.

24:54 I think it is an art form to an extent.

24:57 But now we all have like the nicest camera in the world, which is great.

25:01 It's insanity.

25:02 And again, I guess I'm just I don't know.

25:06 I really I admire the the friends who know

25:09 how to do that and capture things that way.

25:12 Uh I have friends that are really good at it.

25:13 And again, you're right,

25:14 I don't even notice they're doing it and I'll see it later and be like,

25:18 "Wow, that's lovely." Yeah.

25:20 Um it's just not always in me ever to do something like that.

25:25 I get it.

25:26 It may be my age.

25:27 It may be the fact that I'm just kind of I don't

25:30 know that thing about having uh some moments like that to myself.

25:34 But then again, there I am vicariously living through lovely baby videos.

25:39 Yeah.

25:39 You were like I saw you blew your car out.

25:40 I'm like I saw that.

25:41 See, I did film myself once.

25:43 I filmed like afterwards, you know.

25:45 Like I should have caught it all.

25:47 Like I should have done the whole thing.

25:48 It would have been would have been crazy.

25:50 Yeah.

25:50 Everyone would have been I hope he's okay.

25:52 Out on moped.

25:54 You know, somebody help me.

25:55 Oh my god.

25:56 It it could have gone either way.

25:58 And you know what?

25:59 You did your thing.

26:00 And that's fine.

26:02 It's mine now.

26:03 It's yours.

26:04 It's mostly mine.

26:05 Cuz all I had to see was a crunchy tire to go, "Oh, no.

26:09 I hope everything's all right." Yeah.

26:12 Yeah, it is.

26:13 It was.

26:14 Yeah.

26:14 That's Yeah.

26:16 It's that's the weirdest part about all the stuff is like

26:21 all all the all the super intense things like that, you know,

26:24 they they fly by as well.

26:26 It's like I was, it felt like that intense moment happened and I

26:30 was pul I was off the highway within like eight minutes magically like wow

26:35 like I had to call 911 and then a cop came and then that hero which is like

26:40 the roadside service that all of Texas has which is

26:43 good to know that if you get in a bind it's on the back of our driver's licenses

26:48 and they'll come and like change your tire for you

26:50 and whatever and they were there super quick and had

26:52 to escort me across all four lanes of Mopac.

26:56 Well, my car was like and then it was like I the lady

27:01 was like I already called a tow truck and I was off.

27:04 I was just suddenly watching a movie within like

27:06 an hour and I was like that was weird.

27:09 Wow.

27:09 That was super weird.

27:11 Super weird.

27:11 But I'm glad it went better than most, you know.

27:15 Glad that it went okay.

27:18 Yeah, we prefer to avoid that.

27:18 But it went for what it was.

27:20 It was okay.

27:21 It was an interesting change of events in my planned day.

27:26 Yeah, which I which I welcome wholly, you know.

27:29 I I try and whatever.

27:31 I probably didn't want to make anything that day anyway.

27:34 You know, I'm like I wanted to go see a movie.

27:36 So, did I make all this happen?

27:37 Did I run over a nail?

27:38 You know, I force this into itself.

27:41 Magical a magical thing.

27:43 Maybe maybe we do.

27:44 Maybe we do do that.

27:45 It's like I set out to do that on purpose.

27:48 Yeah, maybe we do be doing that.

27:50 Maybe we do be do be do.

27:54 Mhm.

27:55 Be going to keep going for two hours just saying that.

27:59 How are we on time?

28:01 We got four minutes.

28:02 Well, we got three minutes.

28:05 Okay.

28:04 Okay.

28:04 Rapid fire question time.

28:06 You got No, I would never I would never do that to you.

28:09 You can do it.

28:10 I I I know.

28:10 But but here is how we usually wrap it.

28:15 So, um first of all, I appreciate your insight.

28:18 Thank you so much.

28:21 And now the tables have turned and you are

28:24 allowed to ask me a question, but make it count.

28:28 Can't be like, "What is your favorite food?" and then I'll be like,

28:31 "Oh, this interview is over." Um, what is your favorite item in your house?

28:40 Seriously.

28:39 But I I mean I don't say like your bathtub

28:41 or something like a like a like an acquired item.

28:48 Oh.

28:47 Like a curio.

28:48 Oh my word.

28:50 Like your a monkeykey's paw or whatever.

28:52 Oh, heaven forbid that I would get one of those.

28:54 It's already counting down all of the fingers.

28:58 Um fingers on the paw.

29:00 Um that is an excellent question actually.

29:03 Do I have ephemera?

29:06 What have I gotten that's like I'm going through my house right now

29:13 and I I don't interestingly and people are always shocked when I say this.

29:17 I don't really have curiosities like that.

29:20 Like you would think, ah, I know she has a stuffed raven.

29:24 Amazing.

29:26 She has I was setting you up for the stuffed raven question.

29:29 You're right.

29:29 The poor taxiderermy bat over there in the corner under the cloch.

29:33 Um, but that is such a good question.

29:37 I I do have something.

29:38 I mean, it's just something I see every day.

29:41 Um, and forgive well perhaps I can put the name

29:46 of the artist at the end of uh this episode,

29:48 but there are two perfect little oval signs in old English font.

29:55 And one of them says dark and deadly

29:58 and the other one says she herself is a haunted house.

30:04 Nice.

30:03 They are actually healthy reminders for me, both of them.

30:09 Um, Dark and Deadly makes me laugh.

30:12 Like I I um I really didn't understand or realize

30:17 that growing up I kind of intimidated some people

30:20 and this was before I felt more comfortable expressing myself on the outside.

30:25 Um I have always been like this since I was a kid.

30:28 Um my mom wasn't crazy about me wearing black all the time.

30:31 So that didn't happen until way later.

30:33 And even then, this whole thing about assimilation,

30:36 which is horrible in any level, any form, I really tried.

30:40 I really genuinely tried and I just did not.

30:43 It didn't work.

30:44 It didn't compute good.

30:46 So, dark and deadly.

30:48 H, you know, I'm a little nicer than deadly, but I can be scary.

30:52 Um, and the other sign, she herself is a haunted house.

30:58 I do have a fascination with people

31:01 who talk about super quote unquote supernatural experiences.

31:06 Yeah, I've only had one thing like that happen to me in my life.

31:09 But I was talking about this and my dad kind

31:12 of looked me in the eye very squarely and he said,

31:16 "A house is haunted by the ghosts that you

31:19 bring to it." And I just kind of went, "Wow, wowy, wow, wow.

31:24 Where did you get that?

31:25 Wow." And it just kind of he's he's like, "Did I say that?

31:29 I don't remember that." Amazing.

31:31 But but that stuck with me.

31:32 And I said, "Then damn, every place I've ever lived in."

31:37 Has been haunted top to bottom, ghosts everywhere.

31:41 Oh my gosh.

31:42 Even now, yeah, it just kind of it grounds me to to read that.

31:47 And again, I also laugh.

31:48 She herself is a haunted house.

31:50 It cracks me up.

31:51 It it it it may both of these signs may seem rather dark,

31:56 but they put a smile on my face and I have to laugh at myself.

32:00 For the longest time,

32:01 I did not have a sense of humor and my parents were genuinely worried.

32:06 Yeah, I could be a smartass like anybody, but I did not have a sense of humor.

32:10 If I wasn't in charge, if I wasn't in control, then it wasn't funny.

32:14 Oh my god.

32:16 That's who I was in my 20s.

32:17 That sounds hilarious, though.

32:19 It's hilarious now, but in my 20s you like, "No, no."

32:27 But it was just a nightmare.

32:28 It was a never- ending nightmare.

32:30 And I thought, man, I had better learn

32:32 to crack up at this stupidity or foolishness.

32:37 Yeah.

32:37 And do a lot of letting go.

32:40 Yeah.

32:39 So, those are the two things in my house at this moment that, you know,

32:43 it's interesting that I don't have any taxiderermy.

32:47 Go figure.

32:48 No, I'm saying.

32:49 But uh yeah, I imagine your walls are all like periwinkle and you know,

32:54 bright yellow, right?

32:57 I feel sick.

32:58 No, I feel sick.

33:01 No, we'll get you some We'll get you some Maybe

33:03 that's too on the nose if you had a stuffed raven,

33:05 but I'm going to keep my eye out.

33:08 Okay, we'll get you a We'll get you a stuffed raven.

33:09 It it's as long as it has been uh acquired uh

33:13 with uh well legally and e ethically they the people in the spookily perhaps

33:20 and spooky perhaps spooky you know you could even have

33:24 an expression imagine this raven with his beak open.

33:27 Ah um but probably probably not just a very

33:31 you want to find like a mysterious stuffed raven in like

33:33 an estate stale that's like just one day it just appeared.

33:37 Yeah.

33:37 It's got Lor's name.

33:38 We all know it says Lor's name on it.

33:42 I love it.

33:42 You're thinking ahead.

33:45 Thank you for doing this.

33:46 Thank you for being on my podcast.

33:48 Of course.

33:49 Of course.

33:49 Thanks for having me.