The Ultimate Ice Cream Truck Ranking | Best with Babish

0:02 It's got bald patches.

0:03 It's mangy.

0:04 There's nothing this bright and colorful in my life.

0:08 Oh, no.

0:09 I don't like this.

0:10 Do you like this?

0:11 I don't use this word often.

0:12 I don't say it lightly.

0:13 That's ice creamtastic.

0:16 Mr.

0:16 Softy, what' you call me?

0:17 It's the place where you get ice cream from a truck.

0:19 From a stranger.

0:20 Well, which ones do you get?

0:21 How do you know which ones are good?

0:23 This looks good, but is it?

0:25 I'm here to tell you if it is.

0:27 So, we're going to get one of everything from this here, Mr.

0:29 softy.

0:29 We're going to bring it back to the studio with a couple exceptions

0:31 and I'm going to tell you which one is worth your probably $78 nowadays.

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1:17 First up, the double Choco Merlin.

1:19 Basically, we got a chocolate dip.

1:20 We got some sprinkles on soft serve.

1:22 I'm eating this with a spoon like a weirdo because I

1:24 want to be able to save it for my compatriots to eat.

1:27 Let's see what's going on here.

1:30 Has soft serve gotten softer since I last soft served?

1:33 Cuz that's soft.

1:34 The soft serve feels artificially thickened.

1:37 It feels like they're putting stabilizers in there

1:39 to make it creamier and not melt as quickly.

1:41 And I think a sacrifice texture.

1:44 Then the chocolate dip really adds like zero flavor.

1:47 It's mostly just texture.

1:48 Same with the sprinkles.

1:49 All that to be said, look at it.

1:51 It's amazing.

1:52 Give it an eight.

1:54 If I dare you to eat this without a smile, cherry dip.

1:58 It's exactly what it sounds like.

2:00 It's vanilla soft serve with a cherry dip.

2:06 I don't like artificial cherry, and I don't really like vanilla ice cream,

2:09 but together it works really nice.

2:11 I don't like it as much as the chocolate with the sprinkles, though.

2:14 That's a really artificial cherry flavor.

2:15 Tastes like cough syrup, but it's still kind of good.

2:18 I'll give it a six.

2:19 That's fine.

2:20 That's fine.

2:21 It's a six.

2:22 I don't like that.

2:23 I don't like this.

2:24 You like this?

2:24 I don't like it.

2:25 Why is it wobbly?

2:26 Ice cream shouldn't be wobbly.

2:28 There's definitely stabilizers in there that are keeping it fluffy.

2:33 God, that cookie crunch is great.

2:35 The ice cream on its own is not chocolatey enough.

2:38 And I don't like the way that it's it's it's been fluffed like that.

2:41 Like, I hate that it jiggles.

2:43 Soft serve shouldn't jiggle like that.

2:45 It's weird.

2:46 I love the cookie crunch.

2:48 Ice cream on its own.

2:49 Another seven with the cookie crunch.

2:51 I'll give it an eight.

2:52 I'm unsettled, but it's still good.

2:54 Now we have a pineapple vanilla in a waffle cone.

3:02 I like it, but it's gross.

3:05 [Music] He's smiling laugh.

3:09 [Music] It's just like canned pineapple if you added a lot

3:15 of sugar to it and thickened it with zanthan gum.

3:20 All that to be said, I still like it.

3:22 All that to be said, I still like it.

3:24 Give it an eight.

3:24 I like it.

3:25 It's really gross, but I really like it.

3:28 All right, we're back in the studio.

3:30 So, we ate the soft serve on site because it's not transportable, though.

3:35 It is jiggable, which was unsettling.

3:36 And we've picked up all the pops we could pack into our parcel

3:41 of We got We got all the pops, one of each.

3:44 First up, strawberry shortcake.

3:46 This was my go-to.

3:48 This and the chocolate version of this.

3:50 Oh, the these pebbles bigger than they used to be.

3:54 Steve nodded.

3:54 Yes.

3:55 Steve has much better eyesight than I do.

3:57 That I feel like these these pebbles pop uh rocks.

4:01 These crunchies.

4:02 What are they?

4:03 How are you described?

4:05 Frozen strawberry shortcake dessert bar.

4:08 America's favorite strawberry shortcake bar asterisk.

4:11 You can't asterisk and then not point to an asterisk.

4:14 You can't do it right legally.

4:17 Based on unit sales 52 weeks ending September 8th, 2024.

4:22 That is an incredible level of specificity

4:24 and I respect that in an ice cream bar.

4:28 That's awful.

4:29 A little bit of crunch.

4:30 This is way better than I remember it being.

4:33 Also, I remember there being like a a vanilla layer, but everything's pink.

4:37 There's pink and red, just like me.

4:40 If you open me up, took a bite.

4:42 And there's a little bit of crunch left in the crunchies,

4:45 and it's a wonderful, delightful thing to eat.

4:48 It makes me feel like I'm a child again.

4:49 It has a sharper strawberry flavor than it used to.

4:53 And uh the texture's great, looks great.

4:55 It can throw, it can pitch, it can hit.

4:58 It's a very rare combination of features,

5:00 and it might just be an all-star one day.

5:02 So, I'm enough quoting Moneyball.

5:05 I'm going to give this an eight.

5:06 I love it.

5:06 I shouldn't have given such high scores.

5:08 I take back all the scores I gave outside.

5:11 Drop them all by a point.

5:12 It was too weird that that ice cream

5:14 was whipped into a foam and that it jiggled.

5:18 You shouldn't be able to jiggle soft serve that way.

5:20 Oh, thank God.

5:21 Eight.

5:22 I think this is eight.

5:22 Eight is more than fair.

5:24 I think it's generous even.

5:26 Next up, we have Hagandas chocolate dark chocolate.

5:30 That's small.

5:31 Is that small?

5:32 Feels small.

5:33 270 calories in this littleer.

5:35 That's tiny.

5:39 Damn, that's good.

5:40 The chocolate in ice cream, like the little bits of chocolate,

5:43 to me tastes like the best chocolate in the world.

5:45 Might be because it's cold.

5:46 Might be because it's surrounded by frozen sweetened dairy.

5:51 I don't know.

5:51 It also kind of tastes like Hershey's Special Dark.

5:56 Disaster.

5:58 The chocolate could be much higher quality.

5:59 The ice cream could taste chocolateier,

6:01 but I love it at the the same amount as that strawberry shortcake.

6:04 So, let's go an eight on this.

6:06 I'm being I'm being really generous today.

6:08 Eight.

6:10 Bomb pop.

6:11 Blow yourself up with flavor.

6:13 I hope that blue is what's on top.

6:15 Damn it.

6:15 Blues last.

6:16 This would That's why I hated this cuz I hate cherry and you

6:19 have to eat through cherry just to get the sweet delicious blue.

6:22 Look how much red.

6:23 Look how much cherry.

6:24 Look at that.

6:25 It looks like a diseased c.

6:31 What?

6:31 There's only one way to get to the white.

6:35 Anyway, softer than I had imagined.

6:42 What's that famous white ice flavor?

6:44 I think it's lemon.

6:45 I think that's lemon.

6:48 But look at exactly where it split.

6:49 Now you just got your ging 10.

6:56 The lemon is okay.

6:56 The blue is not as good as I remember it being.

6:58 It's like worse than blue raspberry.

7:00 I am not a big cherry guy.

7:01 I'm trying to not let that swimming, but there it sits before me dripping.

7:06 I'm going to give it a five.

7:08 I'm going to give it a five.

7:10 I need it.

7:12 Good humor.

7:13 Cookies and cream.

7:16 It's got bald patches.

7:18 It's mangy.

7:19 This straight.

7:22 Look at that.

7:23 Look at the difference.

7:25 Everyone has to see.

7:26 What is this?

7:28 And no, there's no bits in the back.

7:32 If I had my eyes closed,

7:33 I would tell you that was a vanilla bar that tastes nothing of chocolate.

7:37 What a horrible thing to have to look at.

7:39 You eat with your eyes first.

7:40 It's so ugly.

7:41 I'm going to give it a three.

7:42 I mean, I'd eat this, I guess, but I'd be so disappointed.

7:47 Sonic the Hedge style hog.

7:50 Sonic the Hog.

7:52 Gumball eyes artificially flavored blue raspberry and cherry.

7:58 It's cool that it's not movie Sonic.

7:59 Now, I don't have anything against movie Sonic.

8:01 The first movie I think is an American masterpiece.

8:04 But what's it going to look like?

8:06 Oh, that's better than I was expecting.

8:09 Honestly, I was expecting a disaster.

8:12 It's identifiable, though.

8:13 I think if you saw that no context, you'd be like,

8:15 "What the is wrong with that Sonic gumball ass?" All right,

8:19 I'm going to try biting into a frozen gumball.

8:21 I'll see you at the dentist.

8:25 That tastes like a toddler's iPad.

8:28 Why would you put gumballs in a frozen treat?

8:31 I really don't like the way it tastes.

8:33 It's got to be just for very young children who just only know what sweet is.

8:39 And you know, all their teeth are going to fall out anyway.

8:42 They're going to, you know, baby teeth.

8:43 So you can chew on this frozen gumball all day.

8:46 I hate it.

8:46 So give it a two.

8:47 You only I'm only even giving it a two because it's recognizable as Sonic.

8:52 Snickers ice cream bar.

8:54 One of God's very few gifts.

8:56 I remember when they when they invented these.

8:59 I was there and I said to them, "Boys, we're going to make a whole lot of money

9:04 and they stole everything from me." Ah, yes.

9:12 Damn it.

9:12 Do I love it?

9:13 10.

9:13 No notes.

9:14 Perfect.

9:14 Amazing food item.

9:17 Starburst strawberry sorbet bar.

9:19 Please tell me is it is it in a square [Music] tariffs?

9:25 It is a whopping 70 calories.

9:28 This tastes like a strawberry Starburst.

9:32 It's going to be good.

9:35 That tastes exactly like a strawberry Starburst and I don't like it.

9:39 That tastes weird.

9:40 It just It tastes like there's a Starburst wrapper in it.

9:44 Like it's it tastes wax papery.

9:46 The strawberry flavor is so aggressively fake.

9:49 It works in a Starburst medium, but in a pop, this is just like who did this?

9:54 It's so small.

9:55 It doesn't taste right.

9:56 Give it a three.

9:57 It's got a good texture, but I'll give it a three for everything else.

10:01 Nestle Tolas chocolate chip cookie sandwich.

10:03 This feels liquid.

10:05 Oh no.

10:07 [Applause] Presumably this melted in the truck or something and they were like,

10:12 "Ah, it kids." Yeah, I'll use a knife.

10:14 I don't care.

10:18 I'm gonna try to rank it as I know it would be.

10:21 Just going to keep with it.

10:24 Yeah, it just tastes like melted tubed cookie dough.

10:33 I'm going give it a three.

10:34 I don't even taste chocolate or cookie for that matter.

10:38 Vanilla milk chocolate almond.

10:39 Not a fan of their vanilla ice cream,

10:41 but am I a fan of their milk chocolate almond?

10:48 That tastes like a grocery store.

10:51 Like the way a grocery store smells criminally boring.

10:54 I don't even know why the almonds are in there for looks.

10:57 I don't like it terribly much.

10:59 And I think it deserves no better than a four.

11:02 There's an off flavor.

11:04 And it was in a sealed container.

11:06 Oh, I found the flavor.

11:07 It's the almonds.

11:08 Almonds taste off and not even in like a turned

11:11 way and like they taste like a grocery store.

11:15 I don't like that ppg.

11:19 I don't know.

11:20 Powerpuff Girls.

11:21 What are they called?

11:22 With gumball eyes.

11:23 The door mine doggy door.

11:25 Oh, I got this one.

11:27 I got that one.

11:28 Buttercup.

11:28 I got Buttercup.

11:29 Whoa.

11:30 She looks not well.

11:31 No, it's not Buttercup.

11:32 Sorry.

11:34 Bubbles.

11:36 Bubbles.

11:35 She looks not well.

11:37 Um, very raccoon features.

11:40 What are the flavors to be expected here?

11:42 Cherry again with your cherry, water, sugar, corn syrup, and that's it.

11:48 Except for ready natural and artificial flavors,

11:50 citric acid, guard gum, zanthan gum, modified cellulose,

11:52 cellulose, gel, yellow six, blue, two leg,

11:54 red 40, blue one by 40, yellow five, gumball, hard wax.

11:57 That's the you put on your car.

11:59 NUBA plus gumball eyes.

12:04 Same exact manufacturer as Sonic.

12:06 I mean, I'm gonna try the gumball because I don't want to risk my teeth again.

12:09 All right, fine.

12:09 I'll eat her eye out.

12:14 I'm gonna turn this one into gum.

12:16 That's all the gum you get out of gumball.

12:18 Oh, those are her eyes.

12:19 I forgot their eyes are big black balls with little white.

12:22 Doesn't look like that, though.

12:23 It looks like she's got just huge amounts of of uh eyes shadow on.

12:27 I really don't like any aspect of it.

12:29 I'm going to give it a two.

12:31 This sucks and it's awful and I hate it.

12:36 Oreo bites, 14 pieces.

12:37 A cool new way to enjoy Oreo.

12:39 Popable bites dipped in a delicious Oreo coating.

12:42 Is this Oreo coating?

12:44 What about its Oreo?

12:47 I don't use this word often.

12:49 I don't say it light lightly.

12:50 That's ice creamtastic.

12:52 It's got this extremely subtle crunch to it.

12:55 Almost like a sugar crunch, like if there was just loose sugar in there.

12:58 It's got that very small granular crunch.

13:00 And it's just a perfect If you like cookies and cream,

13:03 this is your Apex Predator right here.

13:04 or the No, because you wouldn't want that, would you?

13:06 This This is your prey.

13:08 The best part about this ice cream treat is that you can

13:11 throw it at your friend's mouths and see if they can catch.

13:14 This is not going to work out.

13:15 Here we go.

13:17 Oh, that boy can catch in his mouth.

13:21 I'll give it an eight.

13:22 Is delightful.

13:22 It's also little popable pops.

13:26 That one did.

13:26 Did you see that?

13:27 It did like a waiver at the end.

13:29 Crunch.

13:30 Crunch.

13:31 Vanilla bar with crunch coating.

13:33 I like to suck my chocolate and putting in it makes me chew it.

13:37 I don't want a bunch of soggy crunchies at the end of my sucking.

13:45 First off, not enough crunchies.

13:46 Also, it tastes stale.

13:48 It tastes expired.

13:49 It tastes turnt.

13:51 Give it a four.

13:51 It's gross.

13:52 I don't like it.

13:53 It's not my prejudice against crunch.

13:55 It's my taste buds and my eyes and ears.

13:58 Frozen fruit bar.

13:59 Strawberry made with chunks of real fruit.

14:01 I love whole fruit bars, Babage fam.

14:07 Delightful.

14:08 Tastes like whole fruits.

14:09 First ingredient, strawberries.

14:11 If I were gluten intolerant, lactose intolerant,

14:13 cholesterol intolerant, I'd be jumping jacks.

14:17 I'd be jumping for jacks.

14:19 I love like whole fruit strawberry bars especially because there like the seeds.

14:23 You get the little seeds in there.

14:25 And sure, this tastes healthy, but it's not.

14:27 I'd be a fool to give it less than an eight.

14:30 I really like it.

14:31 Tastes very natural.

14:32 It tastes like I'm making a healthy decision

14:34 that will ripple out into the rest of my week.

14:36 But it's Friday, so bring me some ice cream.

14:43 Oh, chocolate eclair.

14:45 That's what it was called.

14:46 Now there's a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

14:48 They still make chocolate aclair bars

14:50 and they still are absolutely stacked with nubbins.

14:55 Why can't they do this with the chocolate crunch bar?

14:57 They're putting all their dumping all

14:58 their resources into a Claire's and strawberry shortcakes.

15:01 Rightfully so.

15:02 Why would you get a chocolate crunch bar when you get a a Claire?

15:10 I want it to be a fudgeicle with crunchies on top.

15:14 That's what I want.

15:14 But instead, it kind of tastes like Hershey's chocolate syrup.

15:17 Texture is great.

15:18 Just like the strawberry shortcake.

15:20 A little bit of crunch.

15:20 Nice and soft.

15:21 Two layers of color.

15:23 It's probably the vanilla that dampens the experience.

15:26 It's probably mixing with it and giving me that Hershey's syrup flavor.

15:29 I don't like it nearly as much as the strawberry shortcake.

15:32 That tasted fake, but at least it was having fun.

15:34 Four.

15:35 I don't like it.

15:35 I don't want to eat any more of it.

15:37 Too fake a chocolate flavor.

15:39 Wa!

15:40 Mango with spicy chili.

15:42 Oh, call the doctor.

15:44 I think I need medical assistance.

15:46 And it looks like it has one of my new favorite things in the world on it.

15:49 Chammoy, a h spicy fruit sauce.

15:53 Oh, that smells good.

15:55 H.

15:57 Oh, that is hard as a rock.

16:00 Ah.

16:02 Oh, but it's delicious.

16:03 Is that real fruit?

16:05 How spicy is it?

16:06 Very little.

16:06 But I've never had a spicy frozen bar.

16:09 Chammoy sauce.

16:10 They put the actual sauce in here.

16:11 There's too much water in here.

16:12 You're not putting anything in here to soften it.

16:14 I'm sure that there are perfectly safe industrial chemicals

16:17 that will make this soft as a soft ice cream bar.

16:20 God, I wish this had a good texture.

16:22 It's delicious.

16:23 It tastes like real mango because it is.

16:25 Tastes like real chamoy because it is.

16:27 But that texture is terrible.

16:29 Maybe sucking on it.

16:31 For that texture alone, I'm going to give it a seven.

16:33 If it did not have that texture, I'd give it a nine.

16:36 It's delicious.

16:38 M&M's.

16:40 This one I was not looking forward to because lo and behold,

16:44 there are M andM in the cookie.

16:47 And these are probably going to be hard.

16:51 Oh, my shorts are short right now.

16:53 That M&M tastes inbred.

16:56 Oh.

16:56 Oh god.

16:56 Look.

16:57 Not only is the is the cookie coming off, the color is coming off.

17:00 What a disaster.

17:01 Look at how horrible I am.

17:03 That M&M tasted awful.

17:06 What's going on with the rest of this?

17:10 It's grainy.

17:12 It doesn't taste that bad.

17:14 Yeah.

17:14 But then the fake M&M, whatever that is, comes in.

17:17 And it's the messiest ice cream stand.

17:19 Barely touched it.

17:20 Let me see how quickly I can touch it and still get some on me.

17:24 Haha.

17:26 How quickly can you eat this sandwich?

17:28 It tastes like I took boxed brownie mix, mixed it with water, and froze it.

17:33 If that's your thing, then this one's for you.

17:36 I think this is one of the worst frozen dairy products I've had to eat.

17:41 Uh, I'm going to give it a one.

17:42 Still tastes like human food,

17:44 so that's why it's not getting a zero or double zero or triple zero,

17:47 which are things now.

17:48 It's really bad.

17:51 Cocoa.

17:52 I love coconut ice cream.

17:56 Conma.

17:56 Is this dairy based?

17:58 Ingredients: milk cream.

17:59 Water.

18:00 All right.

18:00 So, this should be much better texture.

18:03 Small incision.

18:04 Why is that?

18:05 It's glued.

18:10 Take a page out of Hogen Daz's book.

18:13 Puff some air in there.

18:17 That tastes natural for the most part.

18:19 This is fruit and dairy.

18:21 Yeah, coconut's a fruit.

18:22 Is it?

18:23 Yes.

18:23 I chew my ice cream.

18:24 Especially when there's bits of coconut in it.

18:26 I'm a sucker for coconut ice cream.

18:27 We just had What do What do you call that?

18:29 Street cream.

18:30 That's what they called me in high school

18:32 and college and this morning on the street.

18:34 My dad calls me that now.

18:36 I wish it were a little less icy, but I'd demolish this thing.

18:40 I'm going to give it a nine.

18:42 I love it.

18:42 It tastes like coconut and dairy.

18:44 It's so good.

18:46 Uh-oh.

18:47 Crunchy cookies.

18:48 Oh, I have an embarrassing confession to make.

18:50 Babish fam.

18:50 I've never had a Twix ice cream bar before.

18:52 And I did not know that there was cookies in it.

18:54 And I was ready to complain.

18:58 Oh god, I wish there was just a channel of cookie in the bottom,

19:01 just like in the real world.

19:03 But there's just chunks of it.

19:04 Small chunks.

19:05 And that's not enough.

19:07 Okay, a lion has roared.

19:10 It tastes better than the Snickers bar,

19:14 but it's smaller and doesn't have as good

19:16 of a texture because I want more of that cookie.

19:19 No, it's so good.

19:20 It's so good.

19:21 I would I'm sick of ice cream.

19:24 I've had more ice cream today than I've ever had in my life.

19:28 Not even as a child.

19:30 That can't be true.

19:32 My parents would leave me alone sometimes.

19:34 What do I do with you?

19:36 And I think if you put a cookie in there, it' be a 10.

19:37 I'm going give it a nine.

19:38 I have to leave room for improvement.

19:41 There's enough ice cream with Sawyer.

19:42 What?

19:42 I What?

19:44 This isn't even a real one.

19:45 I don't know if this is going to be viable, Babish fam.

19:48 Oh my god.

19:49 Sorry.

19:50 There you go.

19:51 Oh my god.

19:51 There you go.

19:52 You happy?

19:52 You like this?

19:54 Look at this pre-moon landing couple of kids.

19:59 Those are some old kids.

20:03 It's a beautiful thing to look at.

20:05 I'm looking at on the monitor.

20:06 I'm like, I can see there's nothing this bright and colorful in my life.

20:11 Look at how goth my kitchen is by comparison.

20:14 It looks like a sci-fi movie from Hades.

20:21 It's been a long time since I had a snow cone.

20:23 I forgot that it's like rocks of ice, like big ice cubes in there.

20:28 You can see there's gigantic pebbles of ice in there over which

20:34 a syrup of tropical cooler has been If you have to apply some

20:40 pressure when you're shoving your teeth into it cuz it's hard as a rock

20:44 and then as soon as you release it's like I'm so sorry.

20:51 Careful.

20:52 Whats fine.

20:55 What?

20:55 I'm just going to hold it.

21:03 All right.

21:06 Uh, is there any difference in flavor?

21:08 They are different flavors.

21:10 Bad ones.

21:11 Um, and it's so hard.

21:13 I don't think you could chew that if you would even want to chew ice like that.

21:19 I know I chopped it in half easily enough, but I'm sorry.

21:26 I don't like this very much.

21:28 And as such, no, it's it's ridiculous.

21:31 I'm gonna give it two.

21:33 Bad flavor, bad texture.

21:34 Looks ridiculous.

21:38 The big guns.

21:41 Spongebob Squarepants.

21:44 Fruit punch and cotton candy with chocolatey eyes.

21:50 Oh man.

21:51 Wait a minute.

21:51 Sponge has blue eyes.

21:53 What's up with these chocolatey eyes?

21:55 his blue eyes.

21:57 This is going to look like a like

21:58 a demon compared to What's it going to look like?

22:01 I want to see before you.

22:04 That's not great.

22:06 But it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

22:08 I thought it was going to be because if they centered those eyes,

22:12 it would be looking through you.

22:14 I think that's why they offset him and look over here

22:16 cuz they're like when people look these directly in the eyes,

22:19 they don't got no soul no more.

22:22 And then this happens.

22:27 Oh no.

22:29 Spongebob, where are your eyes?

22:32 What part is cotton candy and what part is fruit punch?

22:34 This is terrible.

22:35 Cuz I like cotton candy.

22:37 Fake cotton candy flavor.

22:38 I don't like fruit punch.

22:40 What the I've never had a texture like that.

22:45 It feels insane in the mouth.

22:47 Not only the flavor, which kind of burns.

22:49 It's like the most powerful fruit punch ever devised.

22:54 I was talking about the soft serve in the park

22:56 being like bouncy and fluffy and and foamy.

23:00 Uh, and this just takes that to an entirely new level.

23:04 The only thing that gives this away as ice cream is that it's cold now.

23:07 Chocolatey eyes.

23:09 [Music]

23:14 It's right in the center.

23:17 I didn't notice the heads in the center.

23:19 It's very funny that they chose to list

23:21 that as a feature because it was about 0.001 g of chocolate.

23:28 Take a look at how much chocolate we're we're talking about here.

23:31 That's how much that's not a feature.

23:34 Cocoa is the second to last ingredient after locust bean gum.

23:40 That's how much chocolate is in this thing.

23:41 All right.

23:42 Is this cotton candy down below?

23:44 Oh, yeah.

23:45 You can't eat this as a child and grow up.

23:48 Okay, this is too many flavors for you.

23:52 It's too much stimulation.

23:54 This is the tick tock of ice cream bars.

23:57 Like, you shouldn't give this to a child.

23:59 That um cotton candy flavor tastes exactly like bubble yum

24:03 with the duck on it with the mohawk cotton candy.

24:06 Remember that?

24:06 And he's got a nose ring.

24:09 It's too strong.

24:10 It's horrible to look at, horrible to taste.

24:13 Insane texture.

24:15 I deeply dislike it.

24:18 Every aspect of it.

24:20 And you know what that means?

24:22 Zero.

24:24 [Music] Look, I love Spongebob seasons 1 through three.

24:30 Watch any episode after season 3 and tell me that it's even remotely close

24:34 to what the the the the explosion

24:37 of creativity that we're seasons one through three.

24:39 Giant vanilla.

24:41 Giant vanilla.

24:42 It can't even f fit this space between my four fingers.

24:45 Nothing that can fit in this space should be called giant.

24:51 But let me tell you what's about to happen, folks.

24:53 I'm going to hold this for 5 seconds.

24:59 This is an oldfashioned ice cream sandwich.

25:02 I think which this is where we figure out how jaded I am.

25:06 Just how far have I fallen from a childlike state of wonder and fun?

25:11 because it is an this is a dictionary definition ice cream sandwich.

25:16 What does that mean to me?

25:18 I guess I've I've I've seen one too many episodes of Hannity.

25:25 I guess I've seen one too many

25:27 modern David Atenboroough documentaries because I'm jaded.

25:32 I'm tired.

25:32 I'm scared.

25:33 I watch those and I'm like, "Oh, everything's dying.

25:35 It's my fault." So, with that in mind, I'm going to give this a six.

25:40 It is nice enough to eat and I eat the whole thing, but it's pretty standard.

25:46 It's uninteresting and uh it's messy and it's

25:51 it's kind of boring, but it's ice cream.

25:52 It's an ice cream sandwich.

25:54 Like, shut up.

25:55 Six.

25:58 Six.

25:59 Frozen dairy vanilla dessert sandwich.

26:02 Dessert sandwich is good.

26:05 The first time I've ever heard that.

26:06 I'm taking that and I'm putting it right here in my pocket.

26:10 Ice cream.

26:12 What did we learn?

26:14 Candy bars make the best ice cream.

26:15 Candy bars make the best ice cream.

26:17 Sprinters make the best bobs letters.

26:21 I'm very happy that came to me so quickly.

26:23 But I do have cool running memorized.

26:26 So, what do we learn today?

26:27 Ice cream can be good, but it's not going to live up

26:31 to your childhood expectations because nothing will.

26:33 Everything was better when you were a child.

26:35 Your brain was pumping endorphins and and dopamine.

26:38 All the colors were brighter.

26:41 Everything was better and it felt better.

26:44 So don't Come on.

26:47 Life's good.

26:48 You don't have to like they're killing my childhood.

26:50 No, your childhood's dead and so will you be one day cuz death's coming.

26:57 So what are you going to do till then?

27:00 Are you going to hide or you going to get out there and have some ice cream?

27:05 I think you know what the the right answer to what you should do.

27:09 Should hide.

27:10 Thank you guys so much for watching.

27:11 Please let me know in the comments.

27:13 What is your favorite ice cream from an ice cream truck?

27:15 Which ice creams did I miss?

27:16 What do you want to see me rank next on this show?

27:18 Thank you so much for watching.

27:19 Again, I know I already said it, but I mean it two times.

27:24 Double dip, if you will.

27:26 Not that that was anything.

27:28 It sounds like ice cream, right?

27:29 Double dip.

27:30 Mhm.

27:30 No, that's what you do at a party when you double dip.

27:34 Happy ice cream.

27:35 Thanks again to my long-term partner Squarespace for sponsoring this episode.

27:39 Be sure to head to rankedwithbish.com to submit your ideas for what you

27:42 think I should rank next or who you want to see as a guest.

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28:21 [Music]