Zayn Creates a Sculpture of Himself | Vanity Fair

0:00 Yeah, I think that's a that's a human flaw in general.

0:02 Even if it's in regards to fame or anything,

0:05 I think a lot of people tend to think,

0:07 you know, once I get this, everything else

0:09 will be perfect and just slot into place miraculously.

0:13 And it doesn't quite work like that.

0:18 [music] Yo, what's going on?

0:18 I'm Zayn and I'm going to be sculpting my self-portrait.

0:22 I'm going for a bit of a creative approach, so I'm going to mix it up.

0:24 I think I'm going to do like a zombie version of myself.

0:32 I remember very vividly drawing Casper a lot.

0:36 I was obsessed with Casper the Friendly Ghost as a kid

0:39 and I used to just draw him on repeat and I remember

0:42 the day that like it actually really looked like him

0:44 and my mom and dad were like super impressed and I was like,

0:46 yeah, I'm going to stick at this.

0:47 I'm pretty good at this.

0:54 I don't know if it was a a performance

0:56 I seen that made me want to be a musician.

0:58 I think I uh was just into uh R&B music a lot when I was younger.

1:03 My dad used to play some really good songs

1:05 and cuz of that I was inspired to, you know, try and sing myself a little bit.

1:09 Think I actually remember playing uh Mario Let

1:12 Me Love You to my dad and being like, oh, I'm going to try singing this song.

1:16 And he was like, son,

1:17 if you could sing like this, all of our problems would be solved.

1:21 So, I was like, all right, cool.

1:23 I'll I'll try and figure that out.

1:25 Yeah.

1:25 My dad put a lot of good music.

1:27 I always appreciated when he put Tupac on, anything Tupac really.

1:31 Always was a good day in our house.

1:32 I didn't really sing to my dad too much.

1:34 I was kind of like very shy when I was younger.

1:37 I got into theater uh studies around high school

1:41 and really started like going in on the music,

1:44 I guess you could say at that point, like taking it seriously.

1:46 So, it was probably about 13, 14 up to about 15, 16 and yeah,

1:51 I just remember really enjoying it and uh getting

1:54 into it and people you know saying to me, oh, like you're pretty good at this.

1:57 Like, you should try, you know, pursue it.

1:59 My music teacher, Miss Hollowell,

2:01 actually was saying to me a lot of the time like

2:05 she gave me like the inspiration to audition for X Factor.

2:09 She was like, you should audition.

2:11 So, she actually like got me some singing lessons and stuff like

2:13 that and it was a good way to get out of double math.

2:16 I could go do a singing lesson in school.

2:19 So, that was fun.

2:20 Yeah, so I guess when I really started thinking

2:23 I was good was when like my music teacher said,

2:25 oh, you've got ability, like you could do something with this.

2:27 I actually sent her flowers uh not too long ago just

2:30 to say thanks cuz she came up and thought and I was like,

2:32 oh, I want to say thanks to her.

2:33 The head of theater was also a big influence in my life, uh Miss Galloway plays.

2:39 She was big support.

2:40 She would always tell me that I had ability and stuff from a young age, yeah.

2:44 I'm just doing the eyes right now.

2:45 I think things that are, you know,

2:46 like recognizable that you're you're used to seeing me with, like maybe

2:50 the beard and things like that can make it really look like me.

2:53 So, yeah, just looking for them recognizable traits, you know.

3:00 [music] I don't know if I used them consciously to do that in my mind.

3:05 I've always just been into art and, you know, expression of art.

3:09 That obviously gives me a place to basically

3:12 like experiment with that on my body and yeah,

3:15 I feel like, you know, a picture's worth a thousand words.

3:18 It's just a way of like expressing myself, I guess, as an artist.

3:22 My first tattoo was my grandfather's name and I got it

3:25 in Arabic and he has the the most English name ever.

3:28 His name's Walter.

3:30 And I tattooed it in Arabic.

3:31 [laughter] And I think I did that cuz I

3:34 knew my mom wasn't super cool with me getting tattoos.

3:36 So, I got her dad's name so that she'd be cool with it.

3:40 [laughter] But also it was a it was a memento

3:41 to my granddad and, you know, in honor of him,

3:43 but I knew I'd get away with it cuz it was my my mom's dad's name.

3:47 I don't really hide any of my ink just in in general

3:50 like obviously there's certain clothes that you might wear will show them all,

3:54 but I don't really think about trying to hide any of them at this point.

3:56 I think each tattoo has, you know,

3:59 a memory of like where you got it and where you were

4:01 at that time and who the artist was and that experience of, you know,

4:04 sitting there and going through that is always in my mind.

4:08 But in terms of like what it says about my life,

4:10 I feel like that's a difficult question to answer.

4:14 I don't know.

4:14 I feel like it shows, you know,

4:16 some interesting art and creative expression, but beyond that, yeah,

4:20 I don't really think too deeply about the meaning of things either with my tats.

4:23 I just sometimes I just got them cuz I liked the way they looked.

4:26 I've got a lot of tattoos since uh you know,

4:28 I left the band in order to the music that I've done,

4:32 you know, since I've been solo.

4:34 I've still got time tattooed on me.

4:35 I've got Across the Faultlines tattooed on me.

4:37 I don't have Mind of Mine tattooed on me.

4:39 I was thinking about it.

4:40 A lot of people like, so why did you tattoo that on you and not the other ones?

4:43 Honestly, again, it wasn't that deep of a thought.

4:45 I just got the idea at that point and I was like,

4:47 I'm going to tattoo that on me.

4:54 It's something I've always explored since I first started doing solo music.

4:58 I wanted something that felt like it was, you know, truly just mine.

5:02 So, I really honed in on what made me

5:05 me and I felt like that was definitely a big,

5:08 you know, part of of my identity is my heritage and culture.

5:11 So, I wanted to put that in there and, you know,

5:14 hopefully open people's eyes to things

5:16 that they might not necessarily be familiar with.

5:18 So, it wasn't anything new that I had to like,

5:21 you know, think about for this record.

5:22 It was just a development of something I've always been doing, I guess.

5:26 Yeah.

5:26 I'm working on my beard right now.

5:29 So, I'm using the black cuz it's it's a good nice contrast to the skin.

5:33 Piece by piece, yeah, so it looks like hair, yeah.

5:36 I'm just breaking it off a bit at a time and then just layering it

5:38 and then I'm going to like put shape

5:40 into it afterwards using one of these tools.

5:42 I'll put some lines and stuff over the top of it.

5:45 Zombie version of me right now.

5:46 Yeah, that's that's what I'm doing.

5:52 [music] I was 17 when I started, so it's been a long time.

5:58 I was just a young kid, basically.

5:59 I'd just come out of school and auditioned on this TV show that, you know,

6:04 projected my life and career in in in a crazy fast-paced lifestyle that wasn't

6:10 used to at that point and I've been doing it now for nearly 12,

6:14 13 years, you know, so I'm a bit more experienced.

6:17 I feel like I'm a bit more calm and content in this environment.

6:21 It doesn't feel as as jarring as it used to feel for me and yeah,

6:24 I'm just enjoying myself.

6:25 I'm taking things a little bit less serious and I'm just having fun.

6:29 When I was growing up,

6:30 I grew up in Bradford and when I was doing certain things,

6:32 whether it be, you know, performing arts or singing or whatever,

6:36 obviously my family would support me and, you know, they always cared about me,

6:39 but people didn't really give a you know, what I was doing.

6:42 So, I could do kind of what I wanted

6:44 and then obviously all this attention comes into play and people,

6:48 you know, care about what you're doing

6:49 and what you're saying and things like that.

6:51 It can be a bit of a a different,

6:54 you know, adjustment period to getting used to people caring.

6:57 I remember there was like a lot of buzz when

7:00 we were on the show even and there was, you know,

7:02 a lot of girls like coming outside

7:03 the the studio and people were telling us constantly like,

7:07 look, this doesn't happen for everybody that's on the show.

7:10 This is like unusual.

7:12 So, we kind of got a vibe at that point that something was kind of happening,

7:15 I guess, but couldn't ever expected it to be the way it was, you know.

7:18 I was just a young kid.

7:19 Just I would get excited about anything.

7:22 To the magnitude it's at now, yeah, couldn't ever predicted that.

7:25 I'm doing the side of my beard right now.

7:28 Then I'm going to build an ear here on this side.

7:31 So, that could be my sideburn there.

7:35 [music] It's not a movie, but I love The Walking Dead.

7:40 I love the comic books and uh TV show.

7:43 It's probably one of the best zombie things to ever be created.

7:46 Robert Kirkman, the beast.

7:48 Yeah, I love comic books, yeah.

7:50 Right now, my favorite series is Skin Breaker.

7:53 It's a new one from Robert Kirkman.

7:55 All time, anything Batman, you know, like they're my favorite comics.

7:59 I like Red Hood a lot, too.

8:01 They've done some offshoots of Red Hood.

8:03 I'm really into that.

8:04 I love cartoons, man.

8:05 Like I've always been into cartoons since I was a kid and they

8:09 just seem to be getting better and better as I'm getting older,

8:11 so I've I've held onto that.

8:13 It's something that speaks to my inner child a little bit.

8:16 I never feel more like content than when I'm just sitting

8:18 on the couch like reading my comic and fires on, bit weather outside,

8:23 you know, feel feels like my childhood.

8:26 Favorite cartoon of all time is probably Boondocks.

8:30 I love The Boondocks and then favorite

8:32 cartoon right now is got to be Invincible.

8:34 Yeah, I've been watching it and it's like

8:36 at a similar point where I'm at in the comic, so it's fun to watch, yeah.

8:40 But yeah, the thing I like about cartoons, I think,

8:42 is, you know, anybody can see themselves in it.

8:45 It doesn't have to be specific to a certain place.

8:48 You can just see the characters for what the writer's intentions were.

8:53 It's a fun way to to look at things.

8:55 It doesn't feel as direct, you know.

8:57 It feels like there's this other space that you can look at things from.

9:05 For me, music's always been kind of cathartic, you know.

9:08 It's a place to just express your feelings and I think

9:11 we kind of touched on it earlier when you were saying,

9:13 you know, how does somebody who's so private choose to do this as an art form?

9:16 That's exactly why I picked it as an art form cuz

9:18 I don't want to talk too much on a day-to-day basis.

9:21 I'd rather let my art speak for itself, you know.

9:25 And that's why I did it cuz I'm like,

9:26 this is where I can connect with people through this, you know.

9:29 It's hard, you know,

9:30 every song's got a different kind of emotion, different kind of feeling.

9:33 I don't want to sit here and like be

9:35 like the bougie guy who's like, come on, you know.

9:38 But like that's kind of how I feel about it.

9:40 Like it just it depends what mood I'm in, you know what I mean?

9:43 Like emotions in the day, you go through like a hundred different emotions.

9:46 Depends what you want to listen to at that moment, I guess.

9:52 [music] I don't think everybody's answer will be the same, but for me,

9:55 it's not it doesn't really come into my psyche like that.

10:00 A lot of people ask me all the time like,

10:02 "What does it feel like to be famous?" I just kind of feel the same,

10:05 you know, as I did before I was famous.

10:07 Like, like I said earlier, people just give more of a about what I'm doing.

10:11 That's all.

10:12 And that's how That's how it works, you know.

10:14 And in that, you've got to then take into account,

10:16 you know, the type of people that you're influencing and, you know,

10:18 people that you're a role model to and take that into account

10:21 and try to be a good role model if you can for them people.

10:24 Yeah, I think that's That's a human flaw in general,

10:27 even if it's in regards to fame or anything.

10:29 I think a lot of people tend to think, you know,

10:32 once I get this, everything else will

10:34 be perfect and just slot into place miraculously.

10:38 And it doesn't quite work like that, you know what I mean?

10:40 I think anybody who's lived a little bit of life knows that it

10:43 takes time and you've got to work on things and and you know,

10:46 really put grafting for you to see a progression or a difference.

10:49 It's not just going to change because

10:51 you achieve this thing and now you're there,

10:52 so everything's going to, you know, just be perfect.

11:00 Don't know if it's changed my self-image too much,

11:02 but it has definitely made me take things a bit more,

11:07 you know, with a pinch of salt and just enjoy the time I have with my daughter.

11:11 I have this amazing child that is super smart and real funny.

11:16 I love hanging out with her.

11:17 I don't know if it's changed the image of myself.

11:19 I guess I just don't go out as much anymore, you know?

11:23 [laughter] I spend a lot of time with her.

11:23 Yeah, we we do a lot of things together.

11:25 She's really taking an interest

11:27 in like extracurricular activities at the minute.

11:30 So, she changes her mind quite a bit as 5-year-olds do.

11:34 She's really into gymnastics and then she's like come to me

11:37 and she's like real stressed out by it like a old 30-year-old woman.

11:41 She's like, "I don't think I want to do this.

11:42 Like, I think I want to take dance instead.

11:45 I'm really into dance." Made me super happy when she said to me,

11:48 "I want to play soccer." But I I

11:49 told her obviously it's called football, you know?

11:52 Um but yeah, she wants to play soccer.

11:54 So, she's going to start doing that.

11:56 I got to get her cleats and stuff and up gear and that was That was real cool.

12:00 We kicked the ball around a bit together.

12:01 Yeah, she told me she was super excited cuz she played at school.

12:04 She was like, "We played at school today and we

12:07 played boys versus girls." And I said, "Oh, did you?

12:12 That's cool." I said,

12:12 "What was the score?" She was like It was like 21 to the boys.

12:18 And she still loved it and I was like,

12:20 "Okay." So, me as a competitive father was like, "Now,

12:24 I'm going to teach you how to kick the ball

12:25 properly so that the score's a bit different next time,

12:27 you know what I mean?" First time I performed at MSG was quite an experience.

12:37 To live that again would be cool.

12:39 I think I'd enjoy doing that just for the performance

12:41 and then I'd like to skip back to being this head.

12:44 It just felt amazing, you know,

12:46 it's got this prestigious history attached to it.

12:48 All the best artists that have ever been in in history of have performed there.

12:52 So, yeah, it just felt like an honor to be able to do it, you know?

12:55 Being a kid from Bradford, they let me on the stage to sing here.

12:58 It's kind of crazy.

13:04 I'm going to leave it there.

13:05 I wanted to make it more zombified, but I just think it's going to look weird.

13:08 I was going to put green on it, but it is what it is.

13:10 I think I'm just going to leave it there.

13:12 I was going to put some scary teeth on it,

13:13 too, but I think it's I think it's cool.

13:21 [applause] I said I was going to do zombie and I guess the only

13:23 thing that looks zombie is the fact that I've got red eyes.

13:26 The rest of it just pretty much looks like me.

13:28 Wish I had a bit more time, I could have done the full head of hair,

13:30 but right now I just have like this hairpiece at the front.

13:33 Um yeah, it's a look.

13:35 I was going to go for the [music]

13:36 real scary demonic look and then I just didn't know what to do after that.

13:41 [laughter] [music]