Have the courage to create yourself | Vishesh Gupta | TEDxJaipur National University

0:01 [music] [applause] Good morning everyone.

0:07 So today I would like to talk about each one

0:09 of you and especially the youth who have gathered here.

0:12 Let me take you back to a time when most of you were only

0:16 10 years old and at that time someone would have asked you a question.

0:21 Maybe it was your parent, your uncle, your friend or teacher.

0:26 And the question they asked you was that what would you like

0:29 to do when you grow up and you would have answered maybe a doctor,

0:35 engineer, an actor or a cricketer.

0:40 [snorts] But what I want to tell you today that that was the wrong question.

0:46 So in the next few minutes I want to tell

0:49 you what is the right question you must ask yourself.

0:54 Most of the people they spend their entire life asking this one question.

1:00 What career should I choose?

1:02 What kind of industry I should work in?

1:05 What kind of company I should join?

1:07 What job title?

1:08 What salary?

1:09 ETA.

1:11 These questions are important.

1:12 They do matter.

1:14 But they're still not the right questions.

1:16 The reason is that when you ask these questions,

1:20 you are looking for an answer which is outside yourself.

1:24 though the answer lies within you.

1:27 So then what is the right question?

1:29 The right question is what kind of person should I become?

1:35 That is the right question.

1:37 Because when you ask this question

1:39 then your life starts transforming completely.

1:42 The shift from career to character is when everything begins.

1:48 When I was your age, I also had similar confusions in my mind.

1:53 I always wanted to become a chartered accountant like

1:56 my father but finally I ended up doing engineering and when

2:01 when I was in college that one of my friends

2:04 mother asked me that your name is Vish which means special

2:08 so what is special about you and I had no

2:12 answer because at that time I was a very shy

2:15 introverted person and I used to avoid strangers used to avoid

2:20 photos but the things started started changing when I got

2:23 into a job and in my first job I had

2:27 a role in sales and marketing and that meant that I

2:31 had to connect with people and therefore that time I

2:35 decided that I will change two things in my life one

2:39 that I will always have very high level of energy

2:42 and second that I'll always have a smile on my face

2:47 so these two small things which I decided to change

2:50 at that time really helped me to grow in my career,

2:54 in my confidence and in my life.

2:57 And as I look back, I proudly call this as my human revolution.

3:03 Let me share a small story with all of you.

3:06 Jewel in the robe.

3:09 There was a traveler who used to travel long distances, but he was very poor.

3:14 So before setting out on his journey, he met a friend of his who out of concern

3:20 stitched a jewel in the hem of his robe.

3:23 And then the traveler set out on his journey cross mountains,

3:27 rivers, deserts etc.

3:29 begging, searching.

3:31 He was poor but he didn't know that there was a jewel in his robe.

3:37 All of us here are like the traveler.

3:39 We all have a jewel in the robe.

3:42 We all have this immense potential inside us.

3:45 We have that courage.

3:47 We have that creativity.

3:49 The question is not whether we have it because we do have it.

3:52 The question is whether we have discovered it.

3:56 So this discovering the jewel is not an easy thing.

4:00 It is actually an arduous journey.

4:03 The Indian company where I started my career first,

4:06 I worked there for 10 years and did very well.

4:08 And I was a blue-eyed boy of all my bosses.

4:11 And after 10 years, I changed my job

4:14 and joined a global telecom giant, a multinational.

4:18 And then everything changed because though it was a progress in career,

4:22 but I had to reset and I had to once again prove myself.

4:28 And then I decided that what different can I do in this new job.

4:33 And then I opened new markets for this company and again

4:36 got amazingly good business over a period of 10 years.

4:40 What was the secret of this success which I achieved?

4:44 It was simple hard work but working hardly and wisely I could use my wisdom.

4:52 And the good thing is that I realized that I had this wisdom.

4:58 There is one very beautiful concept I

5:00 want to introduce which is called twice born.

5:04 The birds are born twice.

5:07 The first birth is given to them when the chick comes out of the egg

5:13 and the second birth happens when the bird flaps its wings and decides to fly.

5:19 In the same way all human beings, all of us here are also twice born.

5:25 The second birth is earned.

5:27 It needs to be created.

5:30 But most of the people unfortunately live their entire lives

5:33 inside the egg waiting for the right moment, right opportunity.

5:40 But what I want to tell you today is that right moment,

5:44 the right opportunity, you have the power inside you to create it.

5:48 You don't have to look outside.

5:50 You don't have to look at anybody else.

5:55 Let me talk your language now.

5:57 This is the age of startups.

5:59 This is the age of AI ventures, mobile apps and so on.

6:04 And one wonderful thing on someone said

6:06 about startups is that most of the startups

6:09 fail not because the product was bad but because their founders were not ready.

6:15 So the founders had skills but they didn't build themselves.

6:21 So what is an important question here?

6:24 What if the best startup you ever build is you yourself?

6:30 Because your character is your product.

6:32 Your life is your mission and you are the first member of your team.

6:39 Let me give you something practical.

6:41 I call it design your life framework.

6:45 So there are three pillars of this design.

6:47 The first is identity.

6:49 who you are becoming.

6:52 The second is purpose, what you are here for.

6:56 And the third is contribution, what you leave behind.

7:00 So let us examine each one of them one by one.

7:05 The first one is identity.

7:08 We may be very sadly mistaken if we feel

7:10 that identity is given to us by somebody else,

7:12 by our parents, by our teachers, etc.

7:16 Identity will happen when I get a good job, my job title, my credentials.

7:21 Identity means what kind of values we have in our life.

7:25 So where do we begin?

7:27 Let us take out a notebook and write

7:29 three values which you are not ready to compromise.

7:33 Come what may.

7:34 And then every morning ask yourself this question.

7:38 Am I really becoming the person I decided to be?

7:42 and ask this question not as a pressure but as a direction.

7:47 The second pillar is purpose.

7:50 Here again the general notion is that purpose is something which is to be found.

7:57 We all feel somewhere someone is there who

7:59 will tell me what is my purpose in life?

8:02 Some calling is waiting for me.

8:04 But actually purpose is to be built.

8:07 It needs to evolve throughout our life.

8:11 And purpose will grow when you take daily actions,

8:16 when you solve your day-to-day life problems,

8:19 and when you care for the people who are around you.

8:23 So one honest question we must ask ourselves

8:26 that when we look around in our environment, what is it that pains our heart,

8:32 that ache, that pain, that feeling, that discomfort?

8:36 That feeling is the first knocking of purpose in your life.

8:43 The third pillar is contribution and this is the most important pillar.

8:50 So ask yourself who is that one person who really helped you

8:55 and that person may need not be a historical figure may not be a celebrity.

9:00 Maybe it was a teacher who believed in you

9:03 more than what you believed in your own self

9:06 or maybe it was your parent who stood by you

9:09 when everything for you was up in the air.

9:14 But what did these people have in common?

9:18 They cared for you.

9:19 They were present for you and they had courage to help you.

9:24 That is contribution.

9:26 I remember once one of my friends came to me crying.

9:30 He was without a job.

9:31 He didn't have money and the family had given

9:34 up on him and he had given up on life.

9:37 And when he was sharing all this with me,

9:40 I didn't tell him anything extraordinary.

9:42 I just listened to him with all my heart.

9:45 I was there for him.

9:48 And after that I think something changed something touched his heart.

9:52 He got up again.

9:53 He got a job and his life started changing.

9:56 And I feel this was my small contribution.

10:01 I would like to share two lines of Dr.

10:03 Dr.

10:03 Daisakua who is a noted philosopher,

10:07 educator and peaceuilder and he says the most important thing is for each of us

10:14 to make a fundamental transformation in our own

10:16 lives and radiate that light into our communities.

10:21 So the word radiate here does not mean that we

10:24 have to put up a show to impress anybody.

10:27 But what it actually means is that radiate is like a flame that gently

10:32 warms everyone around and that is the kind of change we are looking at.

10:38 So when you change, when you undergo your inner transformation,

10:43 it will create a ripple effect.

10:46 Your family will feel it,

10:48 your friends will feel it, your environment will feel it.

10:52 So it is not a product, it is not a service but what will impact the world

10:57 is your transformed self and that is where the journey starts.

11:04 So most of us we spend our entire lives solving day-to-day

11:08 life problems but we don't spend time to understand our own self.

11:14 How to face failure with dignity?

11:17 How to stand tall in the midst of chaos?

11:20 How to grow with intention.

11:22 If I look at my own life when I had challenges like battling my mother's

11:26 cancer or having a tough job situation in 2008 during the times of recession,

11:32 that is the time when I could build

11:34 perseverance and I could build resilience in my life.

11:39 Degrees can prepare you for work.

11:41 You can get a good job.

11:44 But selfmastery will prepare you for life.

11:48 And there would definitely be a moment when everything

11:52 in your life is falling apart and you are standing alone.

11:56 Everything external has faded away.

11:59 And then the only one who remains is you.

12:02 And then you will ask this question

12:05 and only that question will matter at that time.

12:08 What kind of person have I become?

12:11 Can I fight this out and win in this particular situation?

12:17 So as I look back in my own life when I got answered to this question,

12:21 I really felt that living itself is a source

12:24 of joy and I could actually create my own identity.

12:28 I could become a stronger person,

12:30 more compassionate and I learned how to empathize with others,

12:35 how to feel the pain and sufferings of others.

12:38 I could find the purpose in life to really make this way

12:43 of life as my daily life and to inculcate these values

12:48 in my life day after day and month after month

12:53 and then I was able to contribute to society by promoting peace,

12:59 harmony and building a secure future through sustainability initiatives.

13:05 So all these three pillars of the design your life

13:08 framework I could see working in my own life.

13:11 Identity, purpose, contribution.

13:16 So let me take you back to the traveler who had

13:18 the jewel in the robe I was talking about few minutes back.

13:23 Just imagine what would have happened [clears

13:25 throat] if someone had stopped this traveler

13:27 and patted on his shoulder and said that you have a jewel in the robe.

13:31 You already have it with you.

13:34 Same thing I'm trying to tell all of you today.

13:36 You already have it.

13:38 You have the courage to look within.

13:41 You have the courage to create yourself.

13:44 You have the courage to live by your values even if it is hard.

13:49 You have the courage to evolve not for recognition, not for applause,

13:54 but you have the courage to evolve for the sake

13:57 of others because they deserve your very best.

14:01 And you have the courage to evolve

14:02 for your own self because you deserve your very best.

14:07 So go and find that jewel and build

14:11 that most important startup in your life yourself.

14:17 Thank you very much.

14:19 [applause]