‘The Middle’ Clips to Watch When You’re Mad at Your Parents

0:00 Look what I found.

0:01 Oh, hey.

0:02 Thanks, man.

0:03 No, you It's the sandwich I told you to throw away this morning.

0:06 What were you thinking?

0:08 Hey, Axel, look at me.

0:12 Look at me and continue looking at me.

0:14 Better.

0:15 I thought I told you to throw this sandwich away.

0:18 No, you said take it to the kitchen.

0:19 And throw it out.

0:20 You didn't say that.

0:21 Okay.

0:22 Well, then let me break it down for you so you won't get confused.

0:24 You're going to take this plate,

0:26 the one with the sandwich on it, and take it to the kitchen.

0:29 the room with the sink and you're going to throw the sandwich

0:31 in the garbage and you're going to put the dirty dish in the dishwasher.

0:35 And you're going to do this after every meal

0:37 for as long as you live in this house.

0:40 Got it.

0:42 Fine.

0:42 Whatever.

0:43 Yeah.

0:45 Now I'll get to it.

0:46 Chill.

0:51 Oh god, you were always on me.

0:54 Fine.

0:54 And while we're on the subject, your mom and I are sick of your attitude.

0:57 From now on, when she asks you to do something, you do it.

1:01 You got to admit, my partner is pretty hot.

1:04 Also, you're going to start earning your keep around here.

1:06 As a matter of fact, your mom has a whole list of things she wants you to do.

1:09 Go, Frankie.

1:11 Oh, um, yes.

1:12 There's a lot of stuff for you to do.

1:14 Just give me a second.

1:15 Um, kind of on the spot here.

1:19 Okay.

1:19 Well, whatever she comes up with, you're going

1:20 to do it with a smile on your face.

1:21 Break the leaves, fold the laundry, uh, clean the light fixtures.

1:25 Oh, they're coming now.

1:26 Um, you can't do this.

1:28 You heard your mother.

1:29 God, this is so unfair.

1:41 And you're going to fix that, too?

1:43 No way.

1:44 No.

1:45 It was already broken.

1:46 Mom's been telling you to fix that hinge for like a month, right, Mom?

1:51 I support your father.

1:54 Classic.

1:56 This door stays right where it is until

1:57 you march your butt back here and fix it.

2:02 Oh, I forgot to mention two days a week,

2:04 the Orson Herald puts out an evening edition.

2:09 Okay, Brick.

2:10 It happened this way.

2:12 It was raining and snowing.

2:14 One of those weird Indiana snow rains that we get now and then.

2:18 Don't worry.

2:19 Your mother's picking up Sue from ballet

2:21 and taking her to her piano lesson tomorrow.

2:23 Man, Sue is so good at everything.

2:25 I don't know how she's going to narrow it down when she gets older.

2:28 Oh, here's another one.

2:34 Wow, look at this room.

2:36 It's almost as big as our house.

2:39 The TV is almost as big as our house.

2:41 Oh, fruit basket.

2:43 Hey, look at all those magazines.

2:47 Am I going to be sharing this room with someone else?

2:49 No, you reserved the entire suite for yourself, Mrs.

2:51 Ferguson.

2:52 Wait, we're not the You know, I really could use another pillow.

2:58 No problem.

3:01 What'd you do that for?

3:02 Why should we say anything?

3:04 Cuz the Fergusons are going to need this room.

3:06 Oh, it's my third kid, Mike.

3:08 I'll pop this one out before they know it.

3:10 Come on.

3:11 For once in my life, let me experience the horrors of childbirth in luxury.

3:16 Here you go.

3:18 It's a new kind of foam that cradles your head like a marshmallow.

3:22 Special for this suite.

3:23 Now, if she needs anything else, just come get me, Mr.

3:26 Ferguson.

3:30 We could use a couple more bananas in the fruit basket.

3:36 You took the Ferguson's room.

3:38 That's terrible.

3:40 Yes, it is.

3:42 Should we just stop here?

3:43 Let's just power through to the end.

3:45 So, a quick 27 hours later,

3:48 during which your dad was very manly and did not pass out,

3:52 I was holding my sweet new baby boy in my arms.

3:57 Hi, Brick.

3:58 You still sure about that name?

4:00 Oh, yeah.

4:00 I told you.

4:01 I read where kids with interesting names grow up to be interesting people.

4:05 How you doing, Mom?

4:08 I know you don't want to give him up for even a second,

4:10 but I need to take him for his heel prick test.

4:14 Would you like to come watch Mr.

4:18 Ferguson?

4:20 Mr.

4:21 Ferguson?

4:27 Oh, sorry.

4:30 Fourth and goal.

4:37 Everything looks good.

4:38 You can take him back up now.

4:43 Great.

4:42 Yeah.

4:42 Interception.

4:56 The little cards didn't help.

4:58 They both said Ferguson.

4:59 I guess they got our crappy room, but I wasn't going to ask.

5:02 Brick.

5:04 Brick.

5:08 I was pretty sure I picked the right one,

5:10 but I knew your mom would notice if I brought back the wrong baby.

5:12 Oh, this my beautiful boy.

5:16 And that's how we ended up taking home Blake Ferguson.

5:20 You brought home the wrong baby.

5:22 How could you not know it wasn't me?

5:24 I figured your mom would know.

5:25 Mothers are supposed to know those things.

5:27 Oh, so it's my fault.

5:28 You're the one that had to watch the game.

5:30 I was all drugged up.

5:31 They could have put a turkey in my arms.

5:33 I would have taken it home.

5:34 I would just like to point out that I was only five.

5:36 Technically one.

5:37 I'm part of the cover up, but I was not part of the crime.

5:40 Blake was cool.

5:41 You could feed him anything.

5:43 Wait, how long until you realized you had the wrong baby?

5:49 Pretty soon after.

5:50 Really soon?

5:51 A day?

5:53 Two days?

5:56 Month?

5:57 What?

5:57 A month?

5:58 A month?

5:59 Give or take a day?

6:00 You didn't know it wasn't me for a whole month?

6:02 But you're my parents.

6:04 How could you not tell, Brick?

6:06 All newborns look the same.

6:08 But eventually we figured it out, you know, after the authorities called.

6:12 So you're telling me I spent the first month of my life,

6:16 the most important month, bonding with the Fergusons?

6:20 Hey, I know how it sounds, but it's not that bad.

6:22 You know, you were the first for the Ferguson,

6:24 so they put a lot of effort into you.

6:28 But we really are sorry, Brick,

6:30 for all of it.

6:35 Mother, father, thank you for your delayed honesty.

6:40 I'll be in my formerly Blake's room.

6:48 Well, that went well.

6:49 Axel,

6:50 calm down.

6:51 You're making me nervous.

6:53 Great.

6:53 He's here.

6:54 And no Axel.

6:56 You better not blow this.

6:59 Axel.

6:59 Hello.

7:01 Hey, Mrs.

7:01 Heck.

7:02 Mr.

7:03 Heck, great seeing you again.

7:05 So, where's our superstar?

7:08 If I know my son, he's still hunkered

7:10 down at his desk studying or practicing football.

7:13 Yep, it's all books and pig skin with that kid

7:16 and the Bible.

7:18 Oh, anyway, uh he should be

7:22 Hi, Mr.

7:22 Tracy.

7:23 Great seeing you again.

7:25 Welcome to our house.

7:26 Please come in.

7:27 Thank you.

7:27 Have a seat.

7:28 Thank you.

7:32 Okay.

7:34 Okay.

7:35 All right, Axel, let's get to it.

7:37 I've seen you play, but tell me,

7:39 what makes you a well-rounded fit for East Indiana State?

7:43 I mean, we're not just a jock farm.

7:45 Oh, Axel's a lot more than that.

7:48 He's very into charity and anything with Africa.

7:55 And well, you see, uh, Axel's really been gearing up for his future,

8:00 and he has future goals about his college future.

8:05 The thing is, I think what my parents are trying to say is,

8:08 I'd be lying if at 16 I said I knew what I wanted to study,

8:12 but you have a great school, and I find if you try your best,

8:15 you end up doing something you love.

8:18 Great answer.

8:19 Honest.

8:20 And now I know my grades are not the best and I'm

8:23 really working to improve them so they're more on par visav my athletics.

8:28 Oh, I tell you with an attitude like that you're going to have a lot of choices.

8:33 But hey, this isn't just about me kicking your tires.

8:36 Do you have any questions for me?

8:38 Actually, I do.

8:39 Mr.

8:39 Tracy, what made you decide you wanted to work at East Indiana State?

8:43 Whoa, all out blitz.

8:45 I love it.

8:46 Most kids just want to know about the parties.

8:48 Oh, I'm going to get to that.

8:54 Really glad I got to know you better, Axel.

8:56 Likewise, Mr.

8:56 Tracy.

8:57 And I'd really love to get more information

8:58 on that international business program you were talking about.

9:01 You got it.

9:02 Good night.

9:05 Night.

9:09 Wow.

9:10 Can you believe our son?

9:11 He was charming.

9:13 He was funny.

9:13 He had all the right answers.

9:16 What the hell was that?

9:18 What?

9:19 I thought I killed it.

9:20 Oh, you killed it.

9:21 All right.

9:21 You killed it all over the place.

9:23 Damn it, Axel.

9:24 I was so worried you'd blow this.

9:25 I almost had a heart attack.

9:26 And then I look like an idiot with that future goals crap.

9:30 And you come out swinging with visav.

9:32 Then I'm not sure, but I even think you used it right.

9:34 It was on the PSATS.

9:36 What's your problem?

9:37 Thought you'd be proud.

9:38 You know, every time Nancy Donghue said,

9:40 "Axel's so polite at our house." I assumed she was lying to spare my feelings.

9:44 And once your English teacher wrote, "A pleasure to have in class on the back

9:48 of your report card." I thought it was a typo.

9:50 But you are a pleasure, aren't you?

9:53 Okay.

9:54 Lik in the words, but confused by the bulging neck veins.

9:57 They're bulging because I'm wondering how you can be all charming and Colin

10:02 Firthy with this guy and Nancy Donahghue and God knows who else.

10:06 How come you never bring your best for us?

10:09 Huh?

10:08 Oh, like you bring your best for us?

10:11 Wait, what?

10:11 I bring my best.

10:13 I bring my best 24/7.

10:15 Yeah, right.

10:16 I don't see you bringing me dip and lemonade.

10:17 It's always I'm too tired.

10:19 Make your own lunch.

10:20 Well, the color of the pot is black.

10:21 Visa v the kettle.

10:23 We're not talking about me.

10:23 We're talking about you.

10:25 Gh.

10:25 You were so amazing tonight.

10:27 I can't even look at you.

10:28 I know.

10:29 Nice job.

10:33 Why is your textbook in the exact same position it was in this morning?

10:36 It hasn't moved.

10:38 Oh, there it's moved.

10:39 Happy.

10:40 Hey, you watch your tone, mister.

10:42 What tone?

10:43 You're always imagining this tone.

10:46 Why do you have to ride me all the time?

10:48 And then I got an idea.

10:50 A brilliant, glorious idea.

10:53 I would film my kids and show them what they sounded like.

10:56 You achieve total mind control.

10:59 Honey, can you please not twirl in the house?

11:03 Well, where am I supposed to do it?

11:05 It's too cold outside and my fingers freeze up.

11:07 And if I can't practice, then I won't make the team.

11:10 And it will be all your fault.

11:14 Brick, your dad's going to the mall.

11:17 You want to go with him to look for a hat.

11:22 Brick, any response would be nice.

11:28 And once I started, I couldn't stop.

11:30 This thing was power.

11:31 God, I hear you.

11:33 Do your paper.

11:34 Have you done YOUR PAPER?

11:36 I WILL.

11:36 I DID.

11:37 I AM.

11:44 After several days of collecting evidence, it was showtime.

11:47 I wasn't just doing this for myself.

11:49 I was doing it for moms through the ages who'd had enough.

11:53 Hey, honey.

11:54 Hey, Mike.

11:55 Oh, hey, Bob.

11:57 Bob was just helping me set up that thing I

11:59 told you about that I want to show the kids.

12:01 Oh, how long is that going to take?

12:02 I had long ago accepted that Mike and Bob weren't going to ever be friends.

12:07 It's not that Mike didn't like Bob.

12:08 It's just yeah, he just didn't like him.

12:12 So, Michael, Michael, Bole.

12:15 I'll go with the job search.

12:19 Little slow.

12:20 That's why I like to come home and relax.

12:23 Hey, I'm an idiot.

12:25 Why didn't I think of this?

12:26 The guy riding shotgun on my night

12:28 shift delivering Little Betty snack cakes just quit.

12:31 If you're interested, I could put your name in.

12:33 It's uh Union Pay.

12:35 Easy gig.

12:36 Uh I don't know, Bob.

12:38 I don't want to put you out.

12:39 Union Pay.

12:40 Easy gig.

12:41 Mike, sounds great.

12:44 Riding with you, huh?

12:47 Yeah.

12:46 Kids, can you come in here?

12:48 Come on, everybody.

12:49 Come on in.

12:50 Sit down.

12:50 Everybody sit down.

12:52 Okay.

12:53 We are going to watch some educational television.

12:56 Now, there's been some bad behavior going on, and I

12:59 think it's about time I brought it to your attention.

13:02 And I must warn you, what you are about to see is not pretty.

13:10 Seriously, what did you hatch this plan to ruin my life?

13:13 Hey, you recorded me?

13:13 What are you trying to make me do?

13:14 Is maybe some sort of mindless zombie here?

13:16 And yeah, obviously I don't have to destroy your life, Axel,

13:19 cuz you're doing a pretty damn good job of it yourself.

13:22 Hey, time is passing, Axel.

13:25 Okay, wait.

13:26 Hold on.

13:26 That's the wrong spot.

13:28 You did my homework.

13:29 Why do I have to do your homework?

13:33 Okay, there we go.

13:34 I will make it and it will be all your fault.

13:37 Not so pretty, Sue, is it?

13:39 H

13:40 my fault?

13:40 Why is EVERYTHING MY FAULT?

13:42 HUH?

13:43 I SUPPOSE it'll be my fault, too, if you forget to call Mrs.

13:45 Craig and tell her you can't sit on Thursday.

13:48 Am I talking FOR MY OWN HEALTH HERE?

13:50 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

13:51 That's wrong.

13:53 I have had it with you.

13:53 All you have to do around here is flush the toilet and do your homework.

13:56 Do you have any idea how lucky you are?

13:57 Do you?

13:57 DO YOU?

13:58 SOMEDAY I'LL BE DEAD AND YOU'LL WISH YOU COULD HEAR MY VOICE.

14:02 This is the last time I'm telling you.

14:04 I'M NOT TELLING YOU AGAIN.

14:07 I WILL NOT SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME.

14:20 SO, let that be a lesson to you.

14:26 Wow, this weekend was exhausting.

14:29 Yeah, thank God that's over.

14:30 At least we got through it.

14:34 Oh crap.

14:35 It's 10:00 a.m.

14:36 I didn't know whether I should wake you up.

14:38 I already made myself breakfast and did my push-up.

14:42 Today is my day, right?

14:45 It is, Brick.

14:46 Sorry, we're just beat.

14:47 It's been a long weekend.

14:49 I decide I don't want to go to the library.

14:51 Oh, good.

14:52 I mean, we don't have to go anywhere to have a special day.

14:55 We can just watch TV all day.

14:57 You always let me watch TV.

14:59 Yes, but we'll let you watch it in bed with us.

15:03 No, I still want to go somewhere.

15:05 While I was waiting for you guys to wake up,

15:07 I read in the newspaper that there's

15:08 a Planet Nowhere convention in Indianapolis today.

15:13 Oh, come on, Brick.

15:14 No, it's a long drive to Indianapolis.

15:18 Perfect.

15:18 It'll give me plenty of time to fill you in on the series.

15:20 See, what a lot of people don't know about

15:22 the Planet Nowhere series is that it's an allegory.

15:25 Now, all the tribes in the planet,

15:27 so ironically, for the Vernon ghost to ultimately triumph over the Silicans,

15:30 they must first abandon their planet entirely and wander

15:34 the galaxy for, you guessed it, 11 centuries.

15:39 Yesterday's Dawn's oriental food is still not sitting so well.

15:42 Dons?

15:43 I wanted to go there today.

15:44 Yeah, there's no way we're going there today.

15:46 Oh, well then I want to go to Juanita's Cosina.

15:50 Oh no.

15:51 We got to give the Chinese a chance

15:52 to clear out before we let any other countries in.

15:57 Sorry.

15:56 I knew it.

15:57 Construction always there.

15:59 They're never going to get this done.

16:00 You know, Brick, there might be other fun things we could do today.

16:03 It It would be a shame to spend your special day stuck in traffic.

16:06 Well, I don't mind.

16:08 Yeah, but we don't even have tickets.

16:10 I checked.

16:10 There are plenty of tickets available at the door.

16:12 You know, they're probably just going to try to sell you a bunch of stuff.

16:15 And by the time we get there, it's going to be so crowded.

16:18 Sounds like you guys don't want to go.

16:20 What?

16:20 No.

16:20 No.

16:21 We want to do whatever you want to do.

16:24 We're just scared that it won't live up to your expectations.

16:28 You went to 17 places with Sue.

16:31 Did she tell you that?

16:33 Because you're not supposed to talk about each other's days.

16:36 Oh, no.

16:37 See those flakes?

16:38 Here it comes.

16:39 First big storm of the winter.

16:41 Oh well, that's it.

16:41 We're going to have to turn around.

16:42 But I I'm sure we can find something much more fun.

16:46 Well, those look sharp.

16:49 This is my day trying on shoes.

16:51 Hey, you're always complaining that I just bring you back

16:53 shoes from the discount bin when I'm shopping for Axel.

16:56 You're not even here for me.

16:57 This isn't my day.

16:58 We're running errands.

17:01 Oo, look.

17:03 Want to play with the sizy thing?

17:05 You've never done that.

17:06 I sort of like these boots.

17:07 What do you think, Frankie?

17:08 For work?

17:09 You see, even my special day isn't even for me.

17:12 This is nothing at all that I wanted.

17:14 Nothing.

17:15 That's it.

17:15 I'm getting the boots.

17:17 Look, Brick, I'm just tired.

17:19 I've got acid reflux.

17:20 I'm burping fire right now.

17:22 Why don't we just float your special day until we can make it really special?

17:26 You won't.

17:27 I know you won't, Rick.

17:29 No, you do things for everybody else,

17:30 and by the time you get around to me, you don't care.

17:33 You don't have anything left.

17:35 You don't even have the energy to yell at me.

17:37 You want us to yell at you?

17:38 Yeah, sometimes.

17:39 Yelled at Axel and Sue.

17:41 Once in a while, it'd be nice to know that you care enough to yell at me, too.

17:45 Look at this.

17:46 I'm making a whole scene in the shoe store and nothing.

17:53 Rick, look.

17:54 I know it's tough being the third child,

17:56 but I want you to know that we don't take you for granted.

18:00 Oh, we love you.

18:01 And Mike, help me out here.

18:05 I wonder if these come in brown.

18:08 Forget it.

18:08 Let's just go.

18:12 Yep.

18:13 We both had to admit Brick's special day was a bust.

18:16 We'd have to find a way to make it up to him later.

18:18 Hey, what do you think you're doing?

18:21 What?

18:21 Pick that up.

18:22 I'll get it later.

18:25 Hey, don't talk back to your father.

18:28 I wasn't talking back.

18:29 I was And don't talk back to me.

18:31 You know, you are developing a real attitude problem and it's going to stop.

18:35 But I No butts, Brick.

18:36 We are sick of this now.

18:38 You better start behaving yourself or there's going to be a price to pay.

18:40 In fact, get out of here.

18:42 This conversation is over.

18:43 Go to your room.

18:46 And stay there until you've thought about what you've done.

18:54 Hey, you're already up.

18:56 That's right.

18:57 Up since 5:00.

18:57 Hope you're happy.

18:58 I'm a morning person now.

19:00 It was one day, Axel.

19:01 I got you up on time one day.

19:03 Yeah.

19:03 Well, it's very dangerous to play around with a teenager's sleep cycle.

19:07 probably messed up my development.

19:08 I probably won't be able to have babies now or something.

19:12 That might not be such a bad thing.

19:14 Good morning.

19:15 Oh my god, you're wearing that again.

19:18 It's supposed to be 80° all week.

19:20 How do I know that?

19:21 Cuz there's nothing else on at 5:00 a.m.

19:22 except the farm report.

19:24 For your information, Axel, I have the fall athletic pep rally tomorrow,

19:28 which I'm a part of and am promoting today.

19:33 Speaking of which, I made buttons for all of you.

19:36 Wow.

19:36 Proud parent of a cross country star.

19:40 That's a lot of glitter.

19:41 I'll put mine on in the car.

19:45 And one for you.

19:46 Hey, where's Brick?

19:49 Great.

19:50 I finally get one kid up and now the other one's sleeping in.

19:52 Sue, go get your brother up.

19:54 Brick, get up.

19:59 What are you, your brother now?

20:00 Why aren't you ready for school?

20:02 I'm taking a personal day.

20:04 personal day.

20:06 Come on, you love school.

20:08 Get up.

20:10 Please don't make me go.

20:11 I don't like my new teacher.

20:13 Why not?

20:14 Everything was going great.

20:16 But then all of a sudden, she drags my desk to the front of the class.

20:20 I like sitting in the back.

20:22 I read my book and I sit my juice box.

20:25 I'm back by the sharpener.

20:26 It's all good.

20:28 Maybe Mrs.

20:29 Rinsky's taken a special interest in you.

20:32 Doesn't that make you feel well cared for and understood and, you know, loved?

20:40 No.

20:40 I feel like she's watching me all the time

20:42 and she won't let me whisper to myself.

20:45 Whisper to myself.

20:48 I hate school.

20:53 I swear this is so not me.

20:56 I mean, for you to see me at school twice in one week,

21:00 I'm usually here twice the whole year, if that.

21:04 Look, I got the gals waiting for me at Beef Steak Charlie.

21:06 So, why don't we just cut to the chase?

21:09 If you could please just forget everything I said at our last meeting.

21:13 Done.

21:13 And go back to treating him the way you would have treated

21:15 him had I not come in and maybe move his desk back.

21:19 I know that would make Brick so happy.

21:21 So, now the kid's calling the shots.

21:23 No, I'm completely calling the shots and you you're the main shot caller.

21:30 Let me tell you something.

21:31 You take the M off of mom and you replace it with gl.

21:36 You know what you got?

21:37 I'll tell you what you got.

21:39 Glom.

21:40 Want me to conjugate it for you?

21:43 To glom.

21:45 She gloms.

21:47 She's a glammy mommy.

21:50 I am not a glammy mommy.

21:52 It's just that Brick has never not wanted to go to school before.

21:56 And I will not let you step one foot out of this room

21:58 until you promise to pay no attention to anything I've said.

22:04 Fine, but I don't want to see you anymore.

22:08 You don't volunteer for the field trip.

22:10 You don't show up for the science fair,

22:12 the annual Mother's Day pancake breakfast.

22:15 Maybe you're not so hungry that day.

22:17 Got it.

22:19 Damn, I really like that pancake breakfast.

22:28 Hey.

22:29 Oh, do you know where the corn cob holders are?

22:30 What the hell are you doing?

22:32 It's 2:00 in the morning.

22:33 Yeah.

22:33 Well, tell it to my stomach cuz all it knows it's awake and it's hungry.

22:36 You guys are all like, "Wake up early.

22:38 We'll be better people." And my alarm is all and mom's

22:43 all Why do we listen to what she says anyway?

22:46 You know, why don't you just man up and say no?

22:53 You know nothing about being a man.

22:57 Being a man is being smart.

23:00 I know that in May I want to go to the Indy500.

23:04 It is expensive.

23:05 She won't want me to go.

23:07 But she will remember that I supported her plan.

23:11 And if she does not,

23:12 I will remind her I will be going to the Indy500 with no push back.

23:18 And that my son is being a man.

23:26 Please sit down.

23:32 Okay.

23:32 The three of us have been talking and we're really not feeling

23:35 very good about the way things have been going around here lately.

23:39 It seems like there's been a lot of strife and stress and unnecessary discord.

23:46 And that's why we wanted to sit you down and have a word with you cuz seriously,

23:51 you guys are out of control.

23:56 What?

23:55 Sit us down?

23:57 You're sitting us down?

23:58 Nobody sits me down.

24:00 Okay.

24:00 Wait.

24:00 Wait.

24:00 What's happening here?

24:02 I told you they'd freak out.

24:04 This doesn't need to be confrontational.

24:06 Please, please sit back down.

24:10 Fine, I will sit down because my knee is bothering me, not cuz they asked me to.

24:15 Go on.

24:17 Here's the thing, Mom.

24:19 Here's the thing, Mom.

24:21 Oh, it's me we're sitting down about.

24:24 Let her finish.

24:25 Mom, it just seems like you're nagging us all the time lately.

24:30 Oh, I see.

24:31 That's how it seems.

24:33 Yeah.

24:33 It's like you tell us what to do before

24:34 we even have a chance to do it ourselves.

24:37 Oh, really?

24:37 Is that what it's like?

24:39 She's shutting down, Axel.

24:40 I told you she'd shut down.

24:42 I'm not shutting down.

24:43 I am listening openly to your terrific tips for parenting you're sending my way.

24:47 You really think I like nagging you?

24:49 I think you do.

24:50 I think it gives you a weird rush.

24:52 It's true.

24:53 You led the nag.

24:54 You're a nag aholic.

24:55 Well, you're a don't do what you're supposed to aholic.

24:58 I think if you did a survey of other moms,

25:00 you would find that in the world of nag, I'm not that bad.

25:09 Oh, and dad, your problem is you're always giving out

25:11 these crazy punishments without even hearing our side of things.

25:14 Sue is not allowed to have a friend over until she's 35.

25:17 I never said that.

25:18 Brick, can you please read the minutes from our last meeting?

25:22 Last Thursday, Sue and Carly took the batteries out

25:24 of your remote and put them in their karaoke machine.

25:27 And you said, quote, "No more friends over for 20 years." End quote.

25:33 You have meetings?

25:34 Hey, we're not just out in the yard breaking rocks.

25:36 We're in the prison library trying to figure

25:37 out a way to bust out of this joint.

25:39 We want to bust out of this joint.

25:41 We were going to sit you down.

25:42 Well, then clearly the situation isn't really working for any of us.

25:46 We feel like if you guys just give us a chance

25:49 to do what we're supposed to do on our own,

25:51 you might get more of the results you're looking for.

25:53 And aren't you guys always talking about when you were kids,

25:56 nobody was checking in on you every minute of the day,

25:59 and you guys turned out fine.

26:01 First of all, we did not turn out fine.

26:03 Secondly, don't use our arguments against us.

26:06 Look, we've put a lot of thought into this.

26:08 All we're asking is for you to go

26:09 and consider what we've said and get back to us.

26:12 That's all.

26:14 You may go.

26:24 I thought that went well.

26:27 Yeah.

26:29 What the hell just happened out there?

26:31 I don't know.

26:33 I'd like to get a beer, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed out of my room.

26:39 They've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that.

26:42 You know, it wouldn't have killed you to jump in and defend me.

26:45 They had notes.

26:45 I was confused.

26:47 Did our kids just sit us down?

26:48 I can't believe they sat us down.

26:50 They did not sit me down.

26:51 I sat down because of my knee.

26:53 I mean, come on.

26:54 I'm a nag and you punish them too much.

26:56 What is that?

26:57 I don't recall asking for their opinion.

26:59 This is my house.

27:00 There's only one opinion that matters.

27:02 Mine and yours.

27:09 But then again, what are they really asking for?

27:12 I mean, think about it a second.

27:14 I'm not in the mood to think.

27:15 Just tell me what you mean.

27:17 Well, basically what they're asking is for us

27:20 to let them be more responsible, right?

27:23 And isn't that exactly what we want?

27:26 Could be less work for us.

27:32 Everybody sit down.

27:34 We're already sitting.

27:35 Damn right you are.

27:36 Now, your mom and I have been talking and we decided to allow

27:39 you the opportunity to show us that you can be more responsible.

27:43 And not because of what you said.

27:44 We were going to do something very similar to this before you ever talked to us.

27:48 Wait, so you're really going to stop with the nagging and let us do this?

27:51 We are, but you're going to have to get yourselves up in the morning,

27:55 take care of your own teeth, do your book reports, not lose your coat.

27:59 Uh, Mom, you're kind of nagging us right now.

28:02 The point is, we're going to trust you,

28:05 but if you kids can't handle the responsibility, deals off.

28:09 Okay, then that's it.

28:11 You may go.

28:13 We were kind of planning on hanging out here if that's okay.

28:17 It is not.

28:21 The callback audition has to be a new monologue.

28:23 Do you think the Crucible or Greece would show off the jeans more?

28:28 I was thinking I could do my hair all

28:30 I shrunk the magic jeans.

28:32 Oh no.

28:32 God, take my jeans instead.

28:37 You have an audition to worry about.

28:38 You should go rest.

28:40 But it's the middle of the day.

28:41 Are you serious about this audition or not?

29:01 There was no way around it.

29:03 I was going to have to tell Sue the truth.

29:05 That a burglar broke in and stole only her jeans.

29:10 Hi, sweetie.

29:11 Mom, look.

29:12 I have the same jeans as Jennifer loved Huitt.

29:17 Yeah, about that.

29:20 So, I have some bad news.

29:23 You know that new dryer that we have

29:24 that we found that's just so new and so good, it's really too good.

29:31 What are you talking about,

29:35 honey?

29:36 The dryer shrunk your jeans.

29:38 What?

29:39 I'm so so sorry.

29:41 I just feel terrible.

29:46 That's okay.

29:47 It's not your fault.

29:49 I know, but I just feel horrible.

29:50 Don't feel horrible.

29:52 They were just jeans.

29:54 And the truth is, you were right before.

29:56 It really is about what's inside that counts.

29:59 I just have to let my inner light shine through.

30:02 Okay.

30:02 Yeah, that's not what really happened.

30:05 How could you do this to me?

30:06 You just want to ruin my life.

30:08 You knew how important they were to me and you didn't keep them safe.

30:12 You don't care about anyone but yourself.

30:14 I hate you.

30:19 Honey, you don't really feel that.

30:21 A lot of that is just hormones talking.

30:23 You're frustrated and disappointed.

30:25 I'm just going to give you some space

30:27 and we'll talk about it more when you've calmed down.

30:30 Okay, that didn't happen either.

30:32 Oh, yeah.

30:33 Well, you are no picnic to live with either.

30:36 You think I don't DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?

30:39 LET ME tell you something, Missy.

30:41 All I do are things for you.

30:44 And right now, I'm not sure it's worth it.

30:46 THEN LEAVE ME ALONE.

30:48 YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK ME TWICE.

30:58 YEP.

30:58 The crying, the mood swings, the unpredictable behavior.

31:01 It's a tough time.

31:05 Glad to see you're catching up on your schoolwork for now,

31:08 but Chuck says it's easy to drop out.

31:10 Can you call a school and find out if

31:11 there are some special papers we need to sign?

31:13 My god, you're too lazy to even drop out yourself.

31:16 No.

31:16 Chuck says it's not that hard.

31:18 And Chuck says the last couple years of high school are sort of a waste anyway.

31:21 And Chuck says that

31:23 that's it.

31:23 I got something to show you.

31:25 Grab your coat.

31:26 Chuck doesn't wear a coat.

31:29 Shut up.

31:31 So, you think you got it all figured out, huh?

31:33 Think you want to be like Chuck?

31:35 Let's see how Chuck lives.

31:37 Sure, he has his own place, but it's a trailer he bought at a police auction.

31:41 I want you to take a good look at the life this guy's living.

31:45 Wa!

31:46 Is this Chunk's place?

31:49 Look at all those girls.

31:51 Okay, but if you look past the really fun party, you'll see

31:54 there's a guy with a crossbow.

31:56 Sweet.

32:00 So, hang on.

32:05 Excellent.

32:06 I'm trying to make you see that Chuck's life is not all that great.

32:09 Wow.

32:10 What is she wearing?

32:12 The point is Chuck never went to college, so Chuck has no options.

32:15 God, I'm talking about working where you work, following in your footsteps.

32:17 How that make you happy?

32:19 After you finish college, if you look at all your options and decide

32:22 that the quarry is what you want to do, then great.

32:24 But I want you to have choices.

32:26 I want you to be able to do whatever you want to do.

32:28 That's what would make me happy.

32:30 You're acting like I haven't given any thought to my future.

32:32 I have.

32:35 Really?

32:34 Yeah.

32:34 Like if the Cory thing doesn't work out, listen to this.

32:37 I go on a reality show, get famous,

32:39 and then people will pay me to wear their clothes.

32:44 Okay.

32:44 You know what?

32:44 You're an idiot.

32:46 Hey, no, you are.

32:47 You're an idiot.

32:48 I I I tried to get creative here and I tried to teach you by example,

32:52 hoping that you'd get it, but you're too stupid to get it right now.

32:57 I don't think you're supposed to call your kid an idiot.

32:59 Just an observation.

33:00 Don't beat yourself up over it.

33:01 It's not your fault.

33:02 I was an idiot at your age, too.

33:04 So, until you're no longer an idiot, I will be making the decisions for you.

33:08 And that means you're not dropping out of school.

33:10 You're going to college.

33:11 And those mutton chops you talked about growing not happening.

33:15 Oh, I feel like you're trying to make me doubt myself.

33:17 Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do.

33:19 Let me make it simple.

33:21 Any instinct you have right now, do the opposite.

33:26 Trust me, someday in the future when you're done being

33:28 an idiot and you have an idiot of your own,

33:30 you'll come back and thank me.

33:33 So, I'm guessing you're not going to let me go to Chuck's party.

33:37 You're getting smarter already.

33:41 So, like, what kind of stuff did you do?

33:43 That's not important.

33:44 The important thing is that I turned out okay.

33:46 And I'm pretty sure you're going to turn out okay, too.

33:51 Pretty sure.

33:52 75 80%.

33:58 No, seriously.

33:59 What kind of stuff did you do?

34:00 My junior year, I think,

34:02 and my buddy Greg and I decided that it might

34:05 be fun to jump off an overpass onto a moving bus.

34:08 Never met Greg.

34:09 No, you haven't.

34:11 Oh, hey honey.

34:12 How is school?

34:14 What's going on?

34:15 What is this?

34:16 Oh, I'm taking back my house.

34:18 I thought that was just yesterday.

34:20 No, no.

34:21 I have tripped over my last tennis ball.

34:24 I have sat on my last joystick.

34:26 You guys are going to start keeping all your crap in your room.

34:29 So, dig in this pile for what's yours?

34:32 Cuz anything that's left is going in the trash.

34:36 Oh my god.

34:37 What did you do to the family room?

34:39 What did you do to the family room?

34:42 You like it?

34:43 I've always wanted it this way.

34:45 No, I don't like it.

34:48 It's like you're trying to pretend you never had us.

34:52 Dad, look what you did to the family room.

34:55 Oh,

34:56 hey.

34:56 Looks great.

34:57 I know, right?

34:58 We actually have a pretty nice family room.

35:01 I'm not embarrassed to have people over anymore.

35:03 Don't worry, we're not having people over.

35:06 Can one of you take me to the library?

35:08 Rick, do you not even notice what they did?

35:13 Oh, weird.

35:14 So, can one of you take me to the library?

35:16 I feel like reading about Peru.

35:18 No, Bricks.

35:19 Sorry.

35:19 Can't actually won't.

35:21 I just got home from work and I am going

35:23 to eat my pizza for once while it's still hot.

35:28 That is really annoying.

35:30 If you're really dying to find out about Peru, look it up online.

35:34 But I like books.

35:35 I like the feel of paper in my hands.

35:38 I like the feel of pizza in my hand.

35:39 So nobody's taking you anywhere right now.

35:43 God, if you want to do anything for us, why'd you even have kids?

35:47 Guys, babies are cute.

35:48 If you'd have come out with teenagers, we might have had to rethink.

35:51 Grant, you guys got the wrong pizza.

35:52 It has yellow things all over.

35:54 What is this?

35:56 Pineapple pizza?

35:58 Oh my god.

35:59 Still good, huh?

36:00 I still don't get it.

36:01 Why are you doing this?

36:02 What is this about?

36:02 You trying to teach us some kind of lesson?

36:05 Axel, you really think we have nothing better to do

36:07 than sit around thinking up lessons to teach you?

36:10 This isn't about you.

36:11 Your mom and I love this pizza and we never get it.

36:13 Now we're getting it.

36:14 But we don't like this pizza.

36:16 You'll eat what we provide.

36:18 In the wild, when the lion brings back the zebra he just killed,

36:21 the cubs don't get to say, "We don't like zebra.

36:24 We wanted wild the beast." When the lion brings back zebra,

36:28 everybody eats zebra.

36:29 But I don't like zebra.

36:30 I want wild the beast.

36:32 Well, all we've got is zebra.

36:33 But the zebra has pineapple on it.

36:36 Wait, who's the lion in this story?

36:38 I'm the lion.

36:39 I'm the lion in all the stories.

36:46 I don't know.

36:47 First, Dad, should I use pink glitter or purple?

36:50 Pink or purple?

36:51 Just Just glue something, slap some glitter on it,

36:54 and there are no wrong answers.

36:57 Bricks, Dad.

36:58 Bricks, Dad.

36:59 I ran out of glue.

37:00 Well, you got plenty on your hands there.

37:02 If you run out of that, there's more on my shirt.

37:05 Hey, look out, Autumn.

37:06 Glue hands.

37:07 Ew, gross, Dale.

37:11 I can't get these scissors to work.

37:13 Oh, Brick.

37:14 Cutting's hard for you, isn't it?

37:15 Here, let me help you.

37:20 Hey, we don't get too many dads in here.

37:21 How you holding up?

37:23 Oh, you know, it's just good chance to see the kids and everything.

37:26 It's a nightmare, isn't it?

37:28 I'm this close to pulling a fire alarm.

37:30 Which one's yours?

37:32 Autumn Wagner.

37:33 Oh, yeah.

37:34 You know, I think Brick's got a crush on her.

37:40 Oh, that's so cute.

37:46 Dad blabbed to Autumn's mom that I like Autumn.

37:49 She told Autumn and now everything's wrecked.

37:52 Nothing's wrecked.

37:54 I'm done.

37:55 Thanks a lot, Dad.

37:56 There's no advice on the Candy Heart that can fix this.

38:02 What?

38:03 I was making chithat.

38:05 Since when do you make chitchat?

38:07 I don't know.

38:08 I This mom spoke to me, so I spoke back.

38:11 Oh, hang on.

38:13 Was it Pilates?

38:14 Mom, I don't know.

38:15 She seemed fit.

38:17 What' she look like?

38:18 I don't know.

38:19 Ponytail, green eyes.

38:21 You notice the color of her eyes?

38:23 What color are my eyes?

38:27 They change with the weather.

38:28 Wrong.

38:28 Mike, brown.

38:30 Always brown.

38:30 Rain, snow, sle, or hail.

38:32 Brown.

38:32 Brown.

38:33 Brown.

38:33 Well, she approached me.

38:35 Yeah.

38:35 Well, when you go back to do the Valentine party, just remember, do your time.

38:39 No chitchat.

38:40 Wait, back?

38:41 What do you mean back?

38:42 You only did the Valentine box.

38:44 Now you have to do the Valentine delivery for Valentine's Day.

38:47 Think.

38:48 I guess I didn't realize that when I signed up.

38:50 Or it could be the fact that I never signed up.

38:53 Well, maybe if I had a ponytail and stretch pants,

38:56 you wouldn't be giving me so much crap.

38:58 It was a jogging suit.

38:59 What am I wearing right now?

39:03 Uh, your eyes are brown.

39:06 Mr.

39:06 Heck, this line Valentine just has a question mark on it.

39:10 Is it from Brick?

39:13 Uh, Mike didn't want to make any more trouble for Brick.

39:16 So, nah, that doesn't look like Brick's handwriting.

39:20 But it sort of looks like that kid's over there.

39:28 Dad, what did you say to Anna?

39:31 Why is she hugging Jake while holding my Valentine?

39:34 I was trying to help you out by telling her my Valentine was from Jake.

39:39 This is a disaster.

39:40 How did you ever land mom?

39:42 You know nothing about women.

39:45 Look, I thought fine, I'll fix it.

39:48 Hey, Autumn.

39:50 Um, you know what?

39:51 Uh, this card, it is from Brick.

39:54 No, it's from me.

39:56 Uh, come on, Jake.

39:58 You know it's not yours.

39:59 Yeah, it is.

40:00 Okay, Jake.

40:01 I don't want to call you a liar,

40:02 but I think we both know what the truth is here.

40:06 Okay, maybe it's time for a little handwriting analysis.

40:08 Here's one of yours.

40:09 Hey, now I only have 11 Valentine.

40:12 I'm just borrowing it.

40:13 This?

40:14 Hey.

40:15 Well, break dad took one of mine.

40:16 Now I have less Valentine.

40:18 I'm going to give it back.

40:18 Hang on.

40:19 You can have one of mine.

40:20 Heather,

40:20 you like Heather?

40:21 I thought you liked me.

40:22 He does LIKE ME.

40:24 NOBODY LIKES ME.

40:26 HEY.

40:26 OH, ALL RIGHT.

40:27 Because you yelled at me.

40:28 I'm stuck in my mailbox.

40:31 Hey, HEY, HEY.

40:33 That's it.

40:34 THAT'S IT.

40:35 WE'RE SHUTTING IT DOWN.

40:36 The party's over.

40:37 Here we go.

40:39 You guys shouldn't be celebrating Valentine's Day anyway because

40:42 it's a scam cooked up by the greeting card companies.

40:44 You know what you should be doing?

40:46 You should be studying cuz guess what they're doing in China right now.

40:50 They are doing math and they're learning how to be CEOs of greeting

40:54 card companies so they can sell us Americans a heart-shaped load of crap.

41:06 Banned.

41:11 Damn it, Axel.

41:13 Get in here.

41:15 What did I say about these socks?

41:18 Oh, that's perfect.

41:19 You just automatically assume it's mine.

41:23 Oh, that's it, Axel.

41:25 How many times I got to tell you?

41:27 Well, I guess more than you did cuz I forgot.

41:29 Well, let me jog your memory.

41:31 I said next sock I find, I'm taking away something big.

41:35 Fine, whatever.

41:35 God.

41:36 Fine, whatever.

41:37 Whatever.

41:37 Punish me.

41:38 Whatever.

41:38 Fine.

41:39 Okay, fine.

41:40 Whatever.

41:40 You're not playing in the game on Saturday.

41:42 How's that?

41:42 Is that fine whatever enough for you?

41:44 What?

41:45 You can't do that.

41:46 It's my last game of the season.

41:47 No, your last game was your last game of the season.

41:49 You're benched.

41:50 Maybe next time you listen harder to what I say.

41:55 Mom, help me.

41:57 You can't let him do this.

41:58 The cousin socks.

41:59 They're all stretched out.

42:00 That's why they won't stay on my feet.

42:01 OH, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

42:03 IF YOU'D NEVER BOUGHT ME DECENT SOCKS, THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN.

42:06 PLEASE, MOM.

42:06 I love you.

42:07 I love you so much.

42:09 Sorry, pal.

42:10 I support your father.

42:12 Are you nuts?

42:13 The last game of the season over socks.

42:18 All he needed was for Axel on his own to give

42:20 him a reason to put him back in the game.

42:23 Boy, I'm not looking forward to cleaning those gutters.

42:28 Every year about this time your mom gets on me to do it.

42:31 Would really show some character if someone offered to help.

42:37 Might make a person change his mind about a person.

42:40 Why would I change my mind about you, Dad?

42:42 You ruined my life.

42:47 And then just as the buzzer was about to go off,

42:50 Mike decided to take one last shot.

42:52 A shot that couldn't possibly miss.

42:56 Actually, wait.

42:58 If someone would just help me out by uh clearing my plate,

43:03 it uh might change my mind and make me want to do something nice in return.

43:11 Practically in there already.

43:14 Just put it in the sink.

43:17 Literally, just move it 6 in into the sink.

43:22 Why would you think I'm in the mood to help you?

43:25 I've been giving you signs all week that I'm

43:26 upset with you and you just don't get it.

43:28 God, how obvious do I have to be?

43:34 The only thing harder than taking your kid out of a basketball

43:36 game is having to go to that basketball game after you've done it.

43:40 It was a parenting issue.

43:42 Can't I just wait in the car?

43:43 And now the starting lineup for your thundering hits.

43:48 Well, I guess I'll go sit on the bench.

43:50 You don't have to come in, Dad.

43:51 I'm sure you'd rather stay out here and stare at your plaque all night.

43:56 God's sake, Axel.

43:57 Do you think I don't want you to play in this game?

43:59 You think I don't want you to break my record?

44:01 It's killing me that my own son has a chance to get his plaque up there.

44:05 Another heckman on the wall.

44:07 And now he won't.

44:08 But I gave you every opportunity to get back in this game.

44:11 and you wouldn't take it.

44:12 What opportunity?

44:13 Now you're just making stuff up.

44:15 If you'd have just moved the plate 6 in into the sink.

44:18 It wasn't my plate.

44:19 I was trying to give you an opening.

44:21 Why do you think I was talking about cleaning the gutters?

44:23 Wait a minute.

44:25 If I clean the gutters, you would have let me play tonight.

44:27 Yes.

44:28 Why didn't you tell me that?

44:30 Because I wanted you to come up with it on your own.

44:32 If you want me TO COME UP WITH STUFF ON my own, you got to tell me.

44:35 All I needed was one gesture, one tiny expression of remorse or apology.

44:40 Well, I'm sorry.

44:42 I'm not a mind reader.

44:44 I heard I'm sorry.

44:45 Apology accepted.

44:46 Go play.

44:46 But I wasn't apologizing.

44:48 OH, YOU FOOL.

44:48 GO.

44:54 I don't know why you even want it, Dad.

44:55 Doesn't work.

44:56 You never know when you need a backup.

44:59 You already got six busted dishwashers sitting in your yard.

45:02 Now I got seven.

45:03 I'll just hoist it up on the truck there and I'll be out of your hair.

45:06 Hang on.

45:06 Let me do it.

45:07 Well, no.

45:07 I don't want to be a bother.

45:09 Not a bother, Dad.

45:10 If you have a heart attack trying to move it, that's going to be a bother.

45:13 Don't scratch it.

45:15 Hi, Dad.

45:16 Hi, Grandpa.

45:16 Big Mike.

45:17 Hey there, Brick.

45:18 I found a fourleaf clover.

45:20 It's good luck, you know.

45:21 See, Brick, you put down the books for a second.

45:23 Can I be done being outside now?

45:28 Fine.

45:27 Hey, hang on.

45:29 What's that on your neck?

45:31 Looks like you picked up a tick.

45:34 What?

45:34 It's all right.

45:34 We'll get out of there with some tweezers

45:35 and put some cream or something on there.

45:37 If it's too deep, we'll call a doctor.

45:39 Doctor?

45:39 What do you want to call a doctor for?

45:41 I'll just burn it off of him right here.

45:44 Uh, yeah.

45:45 I don't know how I feel about burning things off my neck or any place really.

45:50 Relax, Dad.

45:50 We got it.

45:51 Well, all right.

45:52 But if that head buries, you know what's going to happen.

45:55 I don't What's going to happen?

45:57 I used to cut ticks out of you all the time, and you're still here, aren't you?

46:00 I'm not burning or cutting anything off of or out of my son.

46:03 Okay.

46:04 Wow.

46:04 When did you get so soft?

46:06 Guess I always wanted a daughter.

46:09 Dad, enough.

46:10 Well, I'm just saying that's that's not how I raised you.

46:14 Don't talk about how you raised me.

46:15 You weren't around that much.

46:16 Okay.

46:17 You didn't do that great a job.

46:21 Well, I guess I'm done here.

46:24 I'll just get on down the road.

46:27 Thanks for the dishwasher.

46:32 Uh, hello.

46:33 I'm still very interested to know what happens if the head buries.

46:37 Berries.

46:39 Well, I have terrible news.

46:41 Come to the right place.

46:42 The library is closing due to budget cuts.

46:45 Oh no.

46:45 That's where I dump you all summer for free babysitting.

46:49 What's happening to me?

46:50 First the tick, then the library closing, then the paper cut I just got.

46:58 As soon as I got this clover, my life started falling apart.

47:01 If you think about it, there's really only one plausible explanation.

47:06 This clover is evil.

47:10 Evil.

47:12 What about the lady who took care of your dad when he broke his hip?

47:15 Would he remember her name?

47:17 I'm not talking to my dad anymore.

47:18 Oh, gee.

47:19 What are you going to do with the extra four words a year?

47:22 Hey, Brick.

47:23 You'll never guess what I found outside.

47:26 How lucky are you that I saw it?

47:34 Hi, Grandpa.

47:34 Big Mike.

47:35 Dad says I'm supposed to get our dishes out of the old dishwasher.

47:38 Okay.

47:39 Looks like your dad's finally got you doing something for yourself.

47:46 You know, Dad, you got a problem with the way I'm raising my kids?

47:50 Why don't you just say it?

47:52 Oh, it's not for me to say.

47:53 They're your kids.

47:54 Yeah, they are, Dad.

47:55 My kids.

47:56 And you got Stupid Clover.

47:59 Hey, Greg.

48:00 Greg, what are you doing?

48:03 Be careful with that.

48:08 What?

48:10 Nothing.

48:10 No, you're right.

48:11 You're right.

48:12 That is soft.

48:14 Brick, forget the hammer.

48:16 How'd you like to use a chainsaw?

48:17 Here, let me fire it up for you.

48:20 Um, I'm not even allowed to use an electric toothbrush.

48:23 Oh, what are you worried about?

48:24 Your dad was using a chainsaw when he was half your age.

48:28 No, you know what?

48:28 Chainsaws are for softies.

48:30 I bet we could do better, huh, Dad?

48:32 How about uh how about the blowtorrch?

48:34 Nothing wrong with a boy learning how to use a blowtorrch.

48:38 Go ahead, Brick.

48:39 Grandpa's going to make you a man.

48:41 Thanks, but I think I'll stay a boy for now.

48:43 Come on.

48:44 It's just 3,000° of searing heat.

48:46 Nothing to be afraid of.

48:47 Grandpa says it's okay.

48:49 Teach him how to use it properly.

48:50 I don't think it's such a big deal.

48:53 Okay.

48:53 What's it going to be, Brick?

48:55 Chainsaw or blowtorrch?

48:56 Fire or steel?

49:02 You know, I'm thinking the clover might not

49:04 be the source of the curse after all.

49:09 I think it might be genetics.

49:13 At least now I get to keep the four-leaf clover.

49:14 They're actually kind of rare.

49:18 Uh-oh.

49:20 Where'd it go?

49:23 Oh, you're not going to spend all night looking for his silly clover, are you?

49:27 Wouldn't have caught me doing that for you when you was a kid.

49:32 I know.

49:39 Hang on, son.

49:39 I think maybe I have another flashlight around here somewhere.

49:59 Axel, do I have anything on my butt?

50:01 No, you're good.

50:04 God, this is lame.

50:05 Every year they go through some kind of midlife crisis.

50:08 Thank God their lives are more than halfway over.

50:10 By the way, nice job getting us kicked out of the car, Sue.

50:13 It wasn't my fault.

50:14 I was trying to get Dad to listen to me,

50:16 but he only wanted to hear you go on and on about football.

50:20 Well, that's cuz I'm his favorite.

50:22 What?

50:23 You are not dad's favorite, Axel.

50:28 Okay.

50:28 Nobody is anybody's favorite.

50:29 Parents don't have favorite kids.

50:32 Sure they do.

50:32 Everybody's got a favorite everything.

50:34 What's your favorite fruit?

50:35 Banana.

50:35 Favorite group?

50:36 One Direction.

50:37 Favorite movie?

50:37 Fiddler on the Roof.

50:38 You haven't seen it yet.

50:39 Yeah, but I have a really good feeling about it.

50:41 See, you think parents don't have a favorite kid?

50:44 Everybody has a favorite everything.

50:45 And in this family, the favorite kid is me.

50:49 Ha, that's hilarious.

50:51 Why would you be their favorite?

50:53 You cause them so much stress.

50:54 You get bad grades.

50:56 You do dumb things with your friends.

50:58 There is no way you're their favorite.

51:01 Oh, there is way.

51:03 I'm their first born.

51:04 I was born when they still had love to give.

51:06 Well, actually, I'm the baby, so I'm pretty sure I'm the favorite.

51:09 You're a loser who misses a tomato.

51:11 I win.

51:12 Believe what you want, but in every book,

51:15 every movie, the baby is always the favorite.

51:18 Not when he's an accident.

51:19 That is not true.

51:21 So they called you oops till you were three.

51:23 Look, there is two of you and I am the only girl.

51:27 Everyone knows girls are easier.

51:29 I am so so nice.

51:31 I think it's pretty clear who the favorite would be.

51:33 If they had a favorite, which they don't.

51:36 Sue, think about it.

51:37 What do you really contribute to this family?

51:40 I mean, Oops is freakishly smart.

51:42 I got recruiters all wanting a piece of the axe.

51:45 Mhm.

51:46 What has Suzu Hec really brought to the party?

51:49 Nothing but the huge rust stain on her butt.

51:54 Axel,

51:54 look, clearly you two didn't fulfill them,

51:55 and they were forced to keep going until they got what they wanted.

51:58 What?

51:59 You don't know anything.

52:01 Neither of you.

52:02 Parents don't have favorite kids.

52:03 I'm sorry.

52:04 They just don't.

52:06 Least favorite says what?

52:09 What?

52:10 See, it's funny because he said least favorite says what?

52:13 And then you repeated what?

52:14 And

52:14 don't nerd up my joke, Brick.

52:16 Just let it lie.

52:21 This is nice, isn't it?

52:24 Mhm.

52:24 We should do more things like this.

52:25 Why don't we do more things like this?

52:27 We're doing it now.

52:29 Let's worry about why we don't do it more when we're not doing it now.

52:32 Okay,

52:33 good plan.

52:35 Okay, I'll get to my mom.

52:38 I need to ask for There you go.

52:41 Help yourself.

52:42 Oh, sure.

52:42 Say it out loud.

52:43 No ranch seasoning.

52:44 Whatever.

52:45 I'll just eat this till my fries come.

52:48 Mom, I really need to ask you something.

52:49 Movie is starting.

52:51 How can you tell?

52:51 Is that the sound?

52:52 So crackly.

52:53 Oh my god, I can barely hear it.

52:54 Turn it up.

52:56 I think I missed the beginning.

52:57 The credits are my favorite part.

52:59 Can someone rewind it?

53:01 Fun to witness the death of civilization up close, isn't it?

53:04 Do you guys have favorite kids?

53:07 I like those Donna Hughes.

53:09 No, of us.

53:10 Mom, I really want to know this.

53:11 Do you guys have favorite kids among us kids?

53:15 Do you guys have favorites?

53:17 Honey, don't be ridiculous.

53:18 Parents love all their kids infinitely.

53:21 If there's infinite love, then it's not possible to love one more

53:24 than the other because infinite love is infinite.

53:29 Guess I'd say actual

53:32 dank.

53:34 Well, well, no.

53:34 Sure.

53:34 The infinite stuff your mom said.

53:37 Yeah.

53:38 But I mean, if I had to pick,

53:40 it's it's it's I just have more in common with them, I guess.

53:44 What?

53:45 Why are you staring at me?

53:47 I We have football.

53:49 We hang out together talking about sports.

53:52 It It's not personal.

53:54 Just human nature.

53:59 What?

53:58 Told you.

54:14 Oh.

54:16 Uh, what are you doing?

54:18 We having company or something?

54:19 No, I don't know.

54:20 I just thought we'd eat in here.

54:22 Did the kids break the big TV?

54:24 Hey, kids, get in here.

54:25 No, no, nobody broke the TV.

54:27 No.

54:27 I just thought, you know, we don't have to eat with the TV every night.

54:31 We could just sit and talk to each other.

54:33 Whoa.

54:33 Why are there plates on the table?

54:35 Because that's where we're eating dinner.

54:37 What?

54:37 I don't want to watch the little TV.

54:39 Did someone break the big TV?

54:40 The TVs are fine.

54:42 We're just not watching them until after supper.

54:44 Tonight, we're having a family dinner in here for a change.

54:53 Dad, you heard your mother.

54:54 Everybody sit down.

54:58 What is the big deal?

54:59 that we've eaten at the table before.

55:04 I don't have a chair, huh?

55:06 I guess we hadn't really eaten at the table since we had brick.

55:11 Not a problem.

55:11 We have more chairs outside.

55:15 Dad, why are we doing this?

55:16 Uh, maybe your mom and I need to talk to you.

55:19 I don't know.

55:20 Are you getting a divorce?

55:22 Let's see how this goes.

55:27 This will be fun.

55:28 You know, this is actually how a lot of people eat dinner every night.

55:32 They sit and they face each other and they

55:34 ask each other questions about how their day went.

55:36 Let's do that.

55:38 So, what was your high and what was your low of the day?

55:41 My low is right now.

55:43 Fine, I'll do it.

55:44 My high is having dinner here with my family.

55:48 My low is the comment that Axel just made.

55:51 Sue, my high was that the guy who sits next to me in science

55:56 saw me in the hallway today and seemed to sort of recognize me.

56:01 My low was that I was wrong.

56:03 He didn't.

56:05 Loser.

56:06 What did I say about sneezing words at your sister?

56:09 My low is realizing that my family never bought a chair for me.

56:12 My high is I can eat food right off the table.

56:17 Oh, wait.

56:18 I want to change my low.

56:20 Okay.

56:20 All right.

56:20 All right.

56:20 Melissa, forget highs and lows.

56:22 We'll do something different.

56:26 Everybody look at the person on your left and say something nice.

56:32 You mean well.

56:35 Thank you.

56:37 Axel, you do.

56:39 Sue, your head is basically the right size for your body.

56:49 Really?

56:49 You're not just saying that.

56:51 No, it's everything like below the head that's got the problem.

56:55 Shut up.

56:55 You know what shuts people up?

56:56 TV.

56:58 Listen, you kids are not even trying.

57:00 You're brother and sister.

57:01 And this is the only relationship that is going to last your whole life.

57:05 You know, someday your dad and I are not going to be around anymore.

57:08 And you're only going to have each other.

57:10 Are you dying?

57:13 That's why we're eating at the table.

57:15 She's dying.

57:16 No, I'm not dying.

57:18 Oh my god, dad's dying.

57:20 NOBODY IS DYING.

57:22 WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST DIE NOW AND get it over with?

57:27 Axel you just made by everybody.

57:29 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

57:31 That's it.

57:32 You three are going to start loving each other

57:34 right now because that's what your mother wants, right?

57:41 Is that what you want?