Australia can't ever win this again

0:06 A sporting trophy that is awarded every year was won by Australia in 2014.

0:12 However, Australia will almost certainly never win it again.

0:16 Why?

0:17 And one more time.

0:18 A sporting trophy that's awarded every year was won by Australia in 2014.

0:22 However, Australia will almost certainly never win it again.

0:27 Why?

0:28 Okay, so my first thought was how Australia's in Eurovision,

0:30 despite not being in Europe.

0:32 And so I thought, oh, maybe they tightened the rules about that.

0:34 But this is sports.

0:36 And I do think that Eurovision kind of is a sport.

0:38 It's a sport to me, but...

0:40 (others giggling) But that's probably not it.

0:42 Australia's in a surprising amount of things that you

0:45 would feel would not be geographically in their area,

0:47 but they turn up, they show willing.

0:50 Good for them.

0:51 Still haven't won Eurovision.

0:53 But, you know, one year.

0:54 (guests laughing) My first thought was maybe

0:56 it's some sort of dangerous sport that post-2014,

0:58 after winning, they were like, we can't do this anymore.

1:01 Let's put a ban on this kind of sport.

1:04 And that would stop all young talent from ever winning again.

1:09 Tom looks at me with a blank stare.

1:10 So it's not that.

1:11 (group laughing) I have learned to let

1:13 everyone just have a chat 'round it first.

1:16 I was trying to figure out if it's the sport was canceled,

1:19 or something happened in Australia,

1:21 and my little Upper Peninsula brain was like, ah, it's hunting related.

1:27 Happy deer season, everyone.

1:28 And there are no more of this animal in Australia.

1:32 I'm sure that's incorrect.

1:35 I mean, it's not right...

1:38 (giggles) It's not even close to right.

1:40 But as ever, saying the crazy thing has

1:43 sort of vaguely pulled you a little bit closer.

1:47 Okay.

1:47 Best case scenario.

1:48 So they're never gonna win again.

1:51 And I— Australia will almost certainly never win again.

1:54 Which I just tend to hold out hope in general.

1:57 So 'never' is a big word there.

2:00 Mm, almost certainly.

2:01 Almost certainly.

2:01 Oh, okay.

2:02 May they might.

2:03 It will— You keep saying 'they'.

2:06 I'm thinking Australians.

2:08 In Australian.

2:09 It's not won by a team.

2:12 It's won by Australia.

2:15 It's won by Australia.

2:16 Mhm.

2:16 The country.

2:17 (stammers) Did you de— So it's not a single person that won it.

2:21 It's definitely not a single person that won it.

2:25 Is it something like...

2:28 I dunno, that's not— Oh, no, but it's a sport.

2:31 What were you gonna say?

2:32 I was gonna say like GDP.

2:33 They have the highest GDP.

2:34 (Tom and Charlotte laugh) They're not winning again.

2:39 Not won by a team.

2:40 And I'm being so careful with how I phrase this.

2:42 Okay.

2:43 So the entirety of Australia won a sport?

2:46 Nope.

2:46 That's not what I said.

2:48 (blurts laugh) I said it was won by Australia.

2:51 Like the landmass?

2:53 Nope.

2:53 Okay.

2:54 Is there a person whose name is also Australia?

2:57 Now you're getting closer.

2:59 (gasps) Okay.

3:00 Okay.

3:00 (group laughing) Has Australia died?

3:04 I'm not sure how Australia is doing right now.

3:07 Okay.

3:07 Well sorry, Australia, if you're listening and you're alive.

3:11 In the same race, the second place was Kingston Hill,

3:14 and it is a race we're talking about here.

3:17 Oh.

3:17 Oh.

3:17 I was imagining a person named Australia.

3:20 And I guess you could have a person named Kingston Hill,

3:22 but now it's starting to seem more unlikely.

3:24 Oh, thank you, Producer David.

3:25 Australia is still alive.

3:27 Hi, Australia.

3:28 (laughs) Australia wouldn't really understand that.

3:33 Hmm.

3:33 Is Australia an animal?

3:35 Well, humans are animals.

3:36 But is Australia...

3:38 a little creature?

3:40 Yes.

3:40 That's why I said Alexis was a bit closer

3:43 than you might think with mentioning hunting and deer.

3:46 It's not a deer though.

3:47 And a sport where animals compete.

3:49 Is it a horse?

3:50 It's a horse.

3:51 Australia is a horse.

3:53 Okay.

3:53 That's fun.

3:54 You are absolutely right.

3:57 So, why is it unlikely that Australia will ever get the trophy again?

4:01 Well, 10 years is a long time in horse racing.

4:04 10 years is a long time.

4:05 And not only that, you cannot name a horse the same name as a famous horse.

4:12 Ohhh.

4:13 Oh, that makes total sense!

4:15 But I haven't thought about it.

4:16 This is the Epsom Derby in 2014.

4:19 It's one of the world's most prestigious horse races.

4:21 It was won by a colt named Australia, trained by Aiden O'Brien,

4:25 which led to the headline "Australia wins the Derby".

4:29 Once a horse wins a Group 1 race, like the Epsom Derby,

4:32 its name is protected for up to 25 years, to prevent confusion.

4:35 And the names of famous horses are off-limits forever,

4:39 which means that it is very,

4:41 very unlikely that any future derby contender will have the name Australia.

4:45 Oh no, I'm gonna have to change the name of my horse, Seabiscuit.

4:48 (group laughing) The Lateral Producer's Club is

4:55 at lateralcast.com if you would like more Lateral,

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