The Ones with the Whole Gang from Season 9 | Friends

0:02 Hey.

0:03 I'm all packed and ready to go.

0:06 Oh.

0:06 That's right.

0:06 Daddy and Uncle Joey are going on a trip today.

0:09 We're going to a conference in Barbados.

0:12 Right?

0:13 Mhm.

0:12 Can you say Barbados?

0:16 Barbados.

0:17 [laughter]

0:20 Hey.

0:19 I got to say, it means so much to me that you guys

0:22 are coming all the way over there to to hear me give my speech.

0:25 Oh, and I have a surprise.

0:27 I had to pull some strings,

0:28 but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference.

0:33 That's right.

0:35 [laughter]

0:35 These babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.

0:41 Do you have anything that will get us out of them?

0:44 [clears throat] [laughter]

0:45 Yeah, Ross.

0:46 I mean, we're excited to hear the speech,

0:47 but the rest of the time we're going to want to do, you know, island stuff.

0:50 I think David will probably want to hear a few lectures.

0:53 Oh, right.

0:53 Because he's a scientist.

0:54 No, no.

0:55 Well, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years.

0:57 And if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.

1:01 Okay, [laughter] we better go.

1:02 Yeah?

1:03 Um, so we'll see you guys tomorrow.

1:05 All right.

1:05 Let's do it.

1:06 5-hour flight with Charlie.

1:08 Have a couple drinks.

1:09 Get under that blanket and do what comes natural.

1:12 It's a blanket, Joe, not a cloak of invisibility.

1:15 But he has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast.

1:21 To Phoebe.

1:23 She dropped her sock.

1:25 Aw.

1:26 What?

1:28 [laughter] No, Emma dropped her sock.

1:29 Mom's here?

1:30 I wanted to have lunch with her today.

1:31 She told me she was out of town.

1:34 Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby sock is on the ground.

1:37 It's a good toast.

1:40 [laughter]

1:40 Mom, will you please get her attention?

1:42 Oh, what?

1:45 Mommy.

1:53 [laughter] Oh, for God's sake, Judy, PICK UP THE SOCK!

1:57 PICK UP THE SOCK!

1:59 PICK UP THE SOCK!

2:04 I'M SORRY, WAS THAT RUDE?

2:06 UH, BYE.

2:09 BYE, HONEY.

2:16 What's the matter, Joe?

2:17 I'm mad at you for leaving.

2:19 You're nothing but a big leaver.

2:24 Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.

2:28 [laughter]

2:29 Any chance you're trying to pick a fight to make all of this easier?

2:36 Oh, do you see right through me?

2:46 [laughter] [applause] Hey, well, bye, Mom.

2:52 Bye, Ross.

2:53 Rachel.

2:54 Bye, Emma.

2:55 Okay, bye-bye.

2:58 Have a good trip.

2:59 Okay.

3:06 Malcolm.

3:05 Hey, can I borrow the Porsche?

3:08 Okay.

3:08 I'll wreck it.

3:09 But, uh, what is it not?

3:12 A place to entertain my lady friends.

3:16 And what else is it not?

3:18 Place to eat spaghetti.

3:21 Very good.

3:22 Thanks.

3:22 What do you need it for, anyway?

3:23 Oh, well, the uh Powerball lottery is up to 300 million,

3:26 and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so.

3:28 Oh, so you're driving up to Connecticut?

3:31 Yeah, Connecticut, not West Virginia.

3:35 [laughter] Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there.

3:37 I'd like to buy some tickets myself.

3:39 Yeah, with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.

3:44 Yes, because if I was at my old job, we'd say, "300 million?

3:47 No, thank you." Hey, will you get me tickets, too?

3:52 Yeah, me, too.

3:54 Sure.

3:53 Oh, I have an idea.

3:54 Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks,

3:56 we'll pool our money together, and then if we win, we'll split it.

3:59 Oh, that's that's a great idea.

4:02 No, thanks.

4:05 You don't want to win the lottery?

4:07 Uh sure I do.

4:07 I also want to be king of my own

4:09 country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.

4:13 [laughter]

4:13 Still on Amelia Earhart?

4:14 The woman just vanished.

4:18 Susie, Ross, you don't want in on this?

4:20 No.

4:20 Do Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery?

4:23 I mean, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.

4:27 Yes, but there's six of us,

4:28 so we'd only have to get struck by lightning seven times.

4:30 I like those odds.

4:33 [laughter]

4:33 Seriously, you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend $250 on the lottery.

4:37 I mean, that's such a bunch of boo hockey.

4:44 I'll ask.

4:47 [laughter]

4:47 Boo hockey?

4:49 Oh, oh, we think Emma's about to start talking,

4:51 so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.

4:55 Yeah, so get ready to hear a lot of uh boo hockey,

4:57 gosh darn it, and brother pucker.

5:02 How do you know she's going to start talking?

5:04 Well, when I talk to her, I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.

5:08 Kind of like Joey.

5:11 What's that now?

5:12 Joey is having a secret Days of Our Lives party up on the roof,

5:16 and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you.

5:20 What?

5:21 Wait, what's what's going on?

5:23 Joey is having a secret Days of Our Lives party up on the roof.

5:26 And and he didn't want you guys to know about it,

5:28 but I came over here to tell you.

5:32 [laughter]

5:31 I thought you came to say you were sick.

5:33 All right, PROFESSOR OR DETECTIVE?

5:37 [laughter] JOEY'S HAVING A PARTY and he wasn't going to invite us?

5:40 Yeah, he does it every year.

5:41 That's why he's sending you to the play.

5:43 That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory,

5:48 and that that horrible museum tour?

5:51 No, I arranged that.

5:56 Hey you guys, I'm turning in.

5:58 Have fun.

6:02 [laughter]

6:02 I know about your party, Joey.

6:04 What party?

6:05 The game's over.

6:06 Take off your robe.

6:09 Okay, I mean

6:12 No!

6:17 [laughter]

6:19 NICE MEETING YOU.

6:20 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

6:21 I WAS JUST saying goodnight to Emma, and she said her first words.

6:25 What?

6:26 What did she say?

6:27 She said gleeba.

6:31 [laughter]

6:33 MAKE ME RICH.

6:36 ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

6:37 OH YEAH, NO NO NO, that's that's great.

6:40 What?

6:40 Why aren't you more excited?

6:42 Uh Rachel, gleeba's not a word.

6:46 Well, of course it is.

6:49 Okay, uh what does it mean?

6:52 Well, I don't know all the words.

6:54 Well, I'm just I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first word.

6:57 Well, yes you did.

6:59 Gleeba is a word.

7:01 Okay, use it in a sentence.

7:04 Okay, uh Emma just said gleeba.

7:09 [applause] It's not a word.

7:11 Oh okay okay okay, fine.

7:12 I'm going to look it up.

7:13 Oh oh okay, great.

7:15 You know what?

7:15 While you're at it, she said another word the other day.

7:17 Won't you Won't you look up [laughter] All right.

7:25 Okay okay, gleeba.

7:27 Gleeba gleeba gleeba.

7:29 Oh, here it is.

7:30 The fleshy spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi.

7:36 [laughter] She's going to be a scientist.

7:42 All I'm saying is I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.

7:46 I don't know.

7:47 They seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils.

7:51 Wow, Joey and a professor.

7:53 Can you imagine if they had kids?

7:56 And if if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism,

8:01 those nerds would get laid.

8:06 All right.

8:06 So, Ross, you're okay with all this?

8:08 I mean

8:09 No, it's not a big deal.

8:10 I mean, I just met her.

8:11 I'm fine with it.

8:15 Ugh, God, I forgot how hot she was.

8:19 [laughter]

8:19 I'm going to get some more coffee.

8:21 Hey.

8:21 Oh, you know, I'll I'll come with you.

8:24 Okay.

8:26 So, professor, huh?

8:27 Yeah, she is cool and she's so smart.

8:30 Her mind is totally acrimonious.

8:38 Except that's not how she is.

8:44 [laughter]

8:43 I feel like I owe you an explanation.

8:46 I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties.

8:50 I'm uh Well, I'm kind of embarrassed.

8:54 I really hope you don't think less of me.

8:56 No, think less of you?

8:57 No, I don't think less of you.

8:59 I mean, you you saw someone you liked and you kissed them.

9:02 I mean, those people who who like someone and and don't kiss them,

9:05 those those people are stupid.

9:07 I hate those people.

9:10 You know, actually, I'm a little surprised at myself.

9:12 I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date.

9:15 I mean, they're all professors, intellectuals, paleontologists mostly.

9:19 You know, very cerebral.

9:20 the type.

9:22 Hey, if we want to grab a bite before work, we better get acrimonious.

9:29 No?

9:30 Am I getting close?

9:32 We finally found a nanny.

9:33 This is Molly.

9:34 Molly, Chandler, Joey.

9:38 Hi.

9:39 Hi.

9:39 Oh, somebody's getting a little fussy.

9:41 You're damn right I am.

9:42 I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.

9:47 Okay.

9:47 You know what?

9:47 I'm just going to take her outside.

9:48 No, you stay.

9:49 I'll do it.

9:51 Okay.

9:51 Nice to meet you guys.

9:52 Yeah, you too.

9:53 You too.

9:55 Uh-huh.

9:55 Oh, wow.

9:55 Molly's just great.

9:57 Well, yes.

9:57 Bravo on the hot nanny.

10:01 What?

10:02 You really think she's hot?

10:03 Are you kidding?

10:04 If I wasn't married, she'd be rejecting me right now.

10:10 [laughter]

10:12 Joey?

10:11 How do you think she's doing?

10:15 Am I the only one that doesn't think that she's hot, Ross?

10:18 I mean I mean she's not unattractive, but but hot, huh?

10:25 Thank you.

10:29 Now that Rachel's gone, so hot.

10:31 I cried myself to sleep last night.

10:37 [applause] He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

10:39 and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

10:43 But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight,

10:46 "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

10:53 [laughter] Wow.

10:55 That was great.

10:58 Mhm.

10:57 You really wrote that?

11:00 [laughter]

11:02 Uh-huh.

11:01 Say goodbye, elves.

11:02 I'm off to Tulsa.

11:05 I can't believe you're not going to be here for Christmas.

11:07 You're really not coming back?

11:09 Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year.

11:12 If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.

11:14 It's so unfair.

11:15 You don't even like your job.

11:17 So, who does?

11:18 Oh, I like my job.

11:19 I can't wait to go back to work.

11:22 get enough dinosaurs.

11:25 [laughter] I'm sorry I won't be here.

11:31 It's hard enough not seeing you during the week,

11:33 but for Christmas and what this is what you have to do I understand.

11:39 Thanks.

11:40 I'll see you New Year's Day.

11:42 You're not going to be here New Year's Eve?

11:44 Did I not mention that?

11:48 No.

11:48 And you all a good night.

11:51 Chandler Bing.

11:52 Hi honey, we're all here.

11:53 We just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.

11:55 Merry Christmas.

12:00 [laughter]

12:00 AW, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

12:01 I MISS YOU GUYS.

12:02 Was it horrible?

12:03 Is everybody working really hard?

12:05 Uh well, no.

12:06 It's just uh me and Wendy.

12:09 Wendy?

12:09 That sounds like a girl's name.

12:12 It is.

12:12 Did I not tell you about her?

12:15 Mhm.

12:15 Mhm.

12:15 About the time you told me about New Year's Eve.

12:18 Where's everybody else?

12:20 I sent them home.

12:21 Aw, you are such a good boss.

12:24 Is she pretty?

12:28 [laughter]

12:27 Uh uh answer faster.

12:29 Answer faster.

12:31 I don't know.

12:31 Answer better.

12:32 Answer better.

12:35 [laughter]

12:35 I don't think of her that way, you know.

12:36 I mean, she's a uh she's a colleague.

12:38 What does she do there?

12:39 Oh, she's regional vice president.

12:40 She's just below me.

12:42 SHE DID WHAT?

12:45 [laughter]

12:48 BELOW ME.

12:52 OH, WAIT.

12:52 Is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?

12:56 What?

12:59 [laughter]

12:58 Well, she she didn't win.

13:01 All right.

13:02 Well, maybe I should let you and the second

13:04 prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.

13:06 Well, second prettiest that year.

13:08 I mean, of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably Oh, Chandler, stop talking.

13:14 [laughter]

13:16 Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.

13:18 Okay.

13:18 I'm serious.

13:21 Okay.

13:21 Merry Christmas.

13:23 Merry Christmas.

13:24 Merry Christmas, you guys.

13:26 Yeah, cuz I'm a bad person.

13:27 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

13:29 [laughter] [snorts] The wife says hi.

13:35 Ah, fun conversation.

13:37 Oh, well, she's just got this weird idea that uh you know,

13:41 just because you and I are alone that something's going to happen.

13:43 Huh?

13:44 Really?

13:46 Huh.

13:47 Would that be so terrible?

13:51 This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about,

13:55 but you're getting ham on my only tie.

14:01 Hey.

14:01 Oh my god.

14:03 Hey.

14:03 OH MY

14:07 HEY.

14:06 LOOK AT THAT.

14:06 IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.

14:11 [laughter]

14:10 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

14:12 I WANTED to be with you.

14:15 I missed you so much.

14:17 Hey, hey, uh who'd you miss the most?

14:21 Monica.

14:21 Got you.

14:24 [laughter]

14:25 I never want to leave you again.

14:28 But I thought if you left, you'd get fired.

14:30 Turns out they can't fire me because I quit.

14:36 What?

14:35 What?

14:35 You You really quit your job?

14:38 Yeah.

14:38 It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you.

14:41 And why should I be the only one who

14:43 doesn't get to do what he really wants to do?

14:45 Well, what do you really want to do?

14:47 I have not thought this through.

14:51 [laughter]

14:51 OH MY GOD.

14:52 I KNOW.

14:52 I I should have talked to you first about it.

14:55 No, I think that this is what you want to do.

14:56 I think it's great.

15:00 Thanks.

15:02 Chandler, your being here is the best

15:04 Christmas present I could have ever imagined.

15:08 Aw.

15:07 Now, give me my real gift, too.

15:10 Happy birth Oh, see later.

15:16 Hey, Rach, somebody got you shoes.

15:18 Oh, GIVE ME.

15:21 WOW.

15:22 OH MY [screaming]

15:24 GOD.

15:26 OH, THESE ARE MY RAT BABIES.

15:29 [laughter]

15:33 YEAH.

15:32 WE HAVE RAT BABIES NOW.

15:36 OH, you brought rats to my birthday party?

15:40 So, this is what a stroke feels like.

15:44 [laughter]

15:43 I had to bring them.

15:44 We killed their mother.

15:45 They're our responsibility now.

15:48 You know, they require constant care.

15:50 You should know that, Rachel.

15:51 You're a mother.

15:54 Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?

15:57 No, seven rats.

16:00 [laughter] I think we should take them home.

16:01 We need to feed them.

16:02 What?

16:03 What?

16:03 You're going to leave my party to take care of a box of rats?

16:06 I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm not like you, okay?

16:08 Not everyone can afford help.

16:13 [laughter] Oh, hey.

16:15 Thank god you guys are here.

16:17 What's what's going on?

16:19 Everything is upside down here.

16:21 It rains all day long, nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.

16:29 [laughter] All right, I don't want to alarm anybody,

16:31 but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.

16:35 [laughter]

16:35 Okay, when I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, okay?

16:41 [laughter] That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.

16:45 Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in.

16:48 Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a king-size bed?

16:51 Oh, David, get one for us, too.

16:53 Oh, and and see if they have a heart-shaped one.

16:55 And with mirrors on the ceiling.

16:59 [laughter] And and make sure our room isn't next to theirs.

17:02 I got a job in advertising.

17:06 OH, HONEY, THAT'S INCREDIBLE.

17:07 GOSH, what's the pay like?

17:12 Oh, come on, people.

17:14 Come on now, if I don't know who makes the most,

17:16 how do I know who I like the most?

17:18 Hi Joey.

17:21 Well, actually it pays nothing.

17:22 It's an internship.

17:23 Oh, that's cool.

17:24 We have interns at Days of Our Lives.

17:26 Right, so it'll be the same except less sex with you.

17:31 So, what kind of stuff do you think they'll have you do there?

17:33 Well, it's a training program, but at the end they hire the people they like.

17:37 That's great.

17:38 Yeah, I mean there's probably going to be

17:39 some grunt work which will probably stink,

17:40 you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating.

17:46 Humiliating and noble.

17:50 Thank you.

17:53 [laughter]

17:53 You know, if I didn't already have a job,

17:55 I I think I would have been really good in advertising.

17:58 Ross, you did not come up with Got Milk.

18:01 Yes, I did.

18:02 I did.

18:05 I SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT DOWN.

18:07 I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind.

18:10 I'm going to do it.

18:11 I'm going to kiss Joey.

18:12 No, you can't.

18:13 Friends hooking up is a bad idea.

18:16 Please, what about you and Chandler?

18:18 That's different.

18:19 I was drunk and stupid.

18:21 Well, hello.

18:25 What about all the guys that you got the phone numbers from?

18:27 What Why don't you just kiss one of them?

18:29 I could.

18:30 I could, but I don't want to.

18:32 I want to kiss Joey.

18:35 All right.

18:36 I think it's a big mistake, but it's it's your decision.

18:44 I'm going to do it.

18:46 And I can't stop you.

18:46 No.

18:51 [music and singing] [music]

19:01 Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?

19:06 [music and singing] I'm smarter than him.

19:12 You guys, just in case maybe a genie will come out if we RUB THIS LAMP.

19:18 THAT THING GETS HOT.

19:20 YOU KNOW ROSS, just keep making your jokes.

19:22 How are you going to feel if we actually do win?

19:25 Uh, you're not going to win.

19:26 Oh, I know.

19:26 I know the odds are against us, but somebody has to win and it could be us.

19:31 And then how you going to feel?

19:32 You know, we're going to be all like, "Oh,

19:34 everybody let's take our helicopters up to the cave." And you're going

19:37 to And you're going to be all like, "Oh, I can't guys.

19:39 I have to meet you up there.

19:40 I got to gas up the Hyundai."

19:45 [applause]

19:46 Okay, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that.

19:51 [laughter]

19:51 I can see the headline now.

19:52 Lottery winner's friend filled with regret eats own arm.

19:57 Why would I eat my own arm?

19:58 Well, you wouldn't, but we own the paper.

19:59 We can print whatever we want.

20:02 You know what Ross?

20:03 I'm going to throw in 50 bucks for you.

20:07 Why?

20:06 Because I know I know that you think that the lottery is boo hockey.

20:12 [laughter]

20:11 But we're all here.

20:12 We're going to watch the numbers and have fun.

20:15 You're my brother and I want you to be a part of this.

20:20 Well, you don't have to do that.

20:21 I mean I'll I'll pay for myself,

20:22 but just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys.

20:26 That's so sweet.

20:27 Come here.

20:30 Get a room.

20:32 You sang Baby Got Back, didn't you?

20:34 If nothing else works, that girl is all about the ass.

20:41 She sweat?

20:42 Wet?

20:43 Got to go on like a turbo vet.

20:45 Fellas.

20:46 Yeah.

20:47 Fellas.

20:48 Yeah.

20:47 Has your girlfriend GOT THE BUTT?

20:49 HELL YEAH.

20:49 THEN SHAKE IT.

20:50 Shake it.

20:51 Shake it.

20:51 SHAKE IT.

20:52 SHAKE that nasty butt.

20:54 [laughter]

20:54 Baby got back.

20:55 One more time from the top.

20:57 I like big BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE.

21:03 [laughter]

21:05 RACHEL, PLEASE.

21:06 That is so inappropriate.

21:12 [music] Ah, isn't this nice?

21:13 So quiet.

21:14 I could just lie here all day.

21:16 Oh, I know.

21:19 Open your drapes.

21:20 Open your drapes.

21:22 So glad we got a joining rooms.

21:26 The sun IS OUT.

21:27 HEY, remember when I had Cornelius?

21:30 Okay, listen.

21:30 [laughter] You go down to the pool and reserve

21:31 the chairs and I'll get the magazines and the lotion.

21:34 Uh ladies, Ross the speech is IN 45 MINUTES.

21:38 NO!

21:41 [laughter] WALLS ARE PRETTY THIN, GUYS.

21:48 [music] Then we have to weigh the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing,

21:54 which call into question information gathered

21:57 from years of simple carbon dating.

21:59 Look at that woman sitting out by the pool getting tan.

22:03 So leathery and wrinkled.

22:05 I'M SO JEALOUS.

22:08 FINALLY, FACTOR IN THE profusion of new species recently discovered,

22:12 Gigantosaurous, Argentinasaurus, not to mention coldsaurus.

22:22 [laughter] And that's just the herbivores.

22:23 I'm not even going to discuss the carnivores.

22:25 Their heads are already too big,

22:27 which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.

22:32 [laughter] REALLY?

22:38 [laughter] [music]